Calling your name out like a lonely lover.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I did not dream about Willie Nelson last night.
2. The God of Toilets.
1. Learn how to kiss better.
19:42
January 13, 2021
Tuesday's missing episode
Here's the episode we didn't finish on time because Cliff was 'otherwise indisposed'.
16:43
January 13, 2021
Optimum health in your mouth.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The preparation H flag winner.
2. The Riot Poopers.
1. The Barfy Burger Sponsorship
21:19
January 11, 2021
I would make a really good dog.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A song about Yak Farts.
2. Enlarged Prostates Anonymous.
1. Extra Heavy Duty Mayonnaise.
23:35
January 8, 2021
Like flying in a wooden spacecraft
On this Official Wed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Listeners calling each other freaks - not what we want to be known for.
2. The naysayer pew.
1. Just the entertainment the listeners are looking for.
19:28
January 7, 2021
Cookies improve my performance.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Matt Hocking was our first loser of the year.
2. A late night toenail trimming service.
1. 10-69 now in progress.
21:39
January 6, 2021
Compete in the chicken wars
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Redneck is a state of mind.
2. A marathong newscast.
1. Alcohol would have been much better in this case.
19:16
January 5, 2021
The good wood you hide under the bed
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Not really something you want to be licking.
2. Poopsicles.
1. Bird feathers and crap.
18:21
January 4, 2021
Fumbling the trophy.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Go rub some salve on your groin and come back after the news update.
2. Most of the flaming toilet paper was lost in the incident.
1. I didn't know Max Armstrong could dunk.
19:06
December 31, 2020
Every time I open my mouth - poop comes out.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I don't have any friends who are into the nudist lifestyle.
2. A trumpet stuck in his blowhole.
1. A wallet that feels you up.
20:54
December 30, 2020
Friction in between your thighs.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. You're going to want to wear gloves to touch it.
2. All things feces.
1. Mining for nose gold.
18:53
December 29, 2020
Maybe a dozen colonoscopies - I've kinda lost track.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Wrap your udders.
2. I didn't say anything about Dolly when the subject was - giant bras in cold weather.
1. Upload farts of your own.
18:11
December 28, 2020
NO runs, no drips, no errors.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. We're analyzing your bracket and it sucks.
2. How to wrap a porta potty in Saran Wrap.
1. Not a DJ was stirring
22:39
December 24, 2020
A full bore stimulus
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. You're too stingy to give cookies to Santa.
2. Getting the stinkeye for the rest of her life.
1. Pooping in the bushes. (Which comes in as a #4 on the just in time foer breakfast rating system.
17:35
December 23, 2020
Lingerie from Home Depot.
On this Official Weed and Clfif Podcast
3. Leave the plunging to the professionals.
2. I didn't have to throw my own self under the bus - everyone just knows it.
1. I'm not sucking on a trunk.
22:23
December 22, 2020
1,471 flushes until 2021.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Spam and Oreo cookies.
2. Mistletoe is poop on a stick.
1. How far down the list for the coronavirus vaccine is a DJ?
20:47
December 21, 2020
Me in a parallel universe
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. It's been so long since I've touched my face.
2. I knew it was going to end up with poop.
1. Standing in the darkness - holding a shovel.
23:32
December 18, 2020
Salmonella Doesn't Stop Me
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Giving everyone COVID in their stockings.
2. He beat the Browns - twice.
1. That fat, bearded, snot-licking Santa Claus hasn't seen me since.
17:45
December 15, 2020
Slapped with pumpkin pie
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Punch Santa in the nose.
2. The Cleveland Experience.
1. It was raining dog poop.
16:57
December 11, 2020
A giant lizard invasion.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. 2B or not 2B
2. I'm sorry you don't like my haircut.
1. A recipe for seduction.
20:06
December 9, 2020
Pick up a stick and beat my radio with it.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Brain Fart is incorrect.
2. Catching Poop in the air.
1. Synchronized sitting still.
20:19
December 8, 2020
Hug, sweat, grab one another:
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Zero is not a large number.
2. He just woke up and he's not 100 percent listening.
1. That stuff tastes like Reindeer Pee.
22:09
December 7, 2020
Get your foot in some disaster.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. She has people tickle you.
2. A headlight from an alien spacecraft.
1. Paperwork with a judge's signature on it.
25:18
December 4, 2020
Helicoptering poop off the mountain.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. After you whack on it for a while - it's gonna bend.
2. Cleaner poop.
1. There's no reindeer named Paul.
22:26
December 4, 2020
Go whack an Irishman.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Bourbon - and I wear a size large.
2. I'm fighting beavers off.
1. I have ban authority - and I ain't afraid to use it.
26:06
December 2, 2020
That's not an official kilt
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. No such thing as a snow day.
2. They can hold one another's bagpipes.
1. If you're wearing a skirt, you shouldn't be sitting like that.
18:17
December 1, 2020
Shoving an ice pick through your ears.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Why are you warming up your Twinkie?
2. The golf club of justice.
1. I want him in kilt. (and we don't want to see him out of kilt either).
23:37
November 30, 2020
Their pickle may have deflated
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. We're not touching any more.
2. The comfort of her own toilet.
1. I think there's plenty of people listening every morning who'd line up to shoot you.
20:20
November 27, 2020
I'm a trained professional
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Nobody listens to the little Leprechaun McCraken anyway.
2. The wisdom of building a snow park in Florida.
1. Inappropriately cooking in my kitchen.
17:31
November 24, 2020
The serpent of the day
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. You popped your left butt-cheek.
2. The 3rd bam.
2. He had to call a press conference to tell everyone he farted.
20:53
November 23, 2020
We put the 'W' in Illiterate.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A weird meat gift.
2. Your shoe is permanently attached to the vacuum.
1. Uranus has taken quite the pounding.
19:34
November 19, 2020
Still oozing gravy.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The only way I would be around carrots.
2. The breast friend ever to the human race.
1. Let's pretend the bus just hit me.
23:08
November 18, 2020
Blinded by anger - missed the fireworks.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Not saying my phone came from prison.
2. The cause was the colon.
1. You didn't know the way to the principal's office, and you ended up in Haubstadt.
22:36
November 17, 2020
Bacon beer kinda gets me excited.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Either ear triggers his right leg.
2. Stick my finger in the hole and make a connection.
1. He set his wife's underwear on fire.
24:09
November 16, 2020
I may be a dummy but I'm no big dummy.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Less Armlength.
2. Monday morning we'll be lighting the skunk candle.
1. We're pretty well used to dying any day of the week.
18:51
November 13, 2020
A kitty litter skin mask
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Do you like the smell of fart.
2. A candle that smells like Michael Bolton.
1. The greatest beer run ever.
17:01
November 12, 2020
Blow up a porta-potty.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. We're gonna have Weed continue to come up with contests - no matter how lame they might be.
2. Jack Daniels is not known for giving good advice.
1. The origami club has folded.
16:43
November 11, 2020
Heckling is allowed
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Drunk around clowns.
2. Hit the urinal from 6 feet.
1. You're gonna need a wide-hipped turkey
17:56
November 10, 2020
I've got to touch Santa
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. You gotta clamp and then rotate.
2. Factory refurbished.
1. Have you ever stuck your finger in a mole-hole?
22:39
November 9, 2020
Advantages of being an idiot
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. They shaved Colonel Sanders.
2. Polar bears scream when they poop.
1. Eventually you're going to get a callus from it being rubbed on all the time.
21:03
November 5, 2020
Plain, old drool.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I've tried to keep the whittling a secret.
2. Leaving a porta-potty in flames after a trip to Taco Bell.
1. All the good ideas are leaking on your pillowcase.
20:34
November 4, 2020
Why would you eat a donkey?
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Your naked grandparents.
2. Using technology to determine who's silent but deadly.
1. We're not popular with monkeys.
22:12
November 3, 2020
A $600 per chicken fine
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Drink the runaway booze.
2. I've had hangnails more interesting.
1. Expectations are low - just like this program.
20:03
November 2, 2020
Monkey Labor
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I'm in something I never eat.
2. It wasn't good when it was good.
1. Are you a banana or a blank?
20:39
October 30, 2020
Frightened of your own chest hair.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Little boy language.
2. Don't buy the firework called 'The Mangler' - even if it has the Easy-Grip handle.
1. If we raise $200,000 I will gladly go away.
13:18
October 29, 2020
A fist-fight with themselves
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. That sound you heard was me vacuuming.
2. In the same age group as old people.
1. Whack my own.
22:53
October 28, 2020
A bad time to lose suction.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Give you a full windup.
2. My cholesterol was so high Crisco sued me.
1. The Phil McCracken Marching Bagpipe Band.
15:17
October 27, 2020
We don't need balls like that.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. They're trying to whack me with a stick.
2. Much better when we're inaccurate.
1. All the rag arms will stay home.
21:52
October 26, 2020
You got yourself into this mess - you get yourself out.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. His real name is Moran.
2. My pole is too short for the box.
1. I don't want to make Phil mad for using his private line.
18:03
October 23, 2020
A sure sign they're old
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Phil McKcracken is not Cliff Ingram.
2. I'm stuck in traffic with diarrhea.
1. Despite his mental setbacks, he sees himself as intelligent.
22:14
October 22, 2020
Hang up and leave us alone
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Enough hair on her back to weave a Navajo Rug.
2. Looking for prostate cancer a bit too aggressively.
1. No opinion should be expressed by dropping your pants and urinating on the front door.
20:08
October 21, 2020
Most likely to have to sell his class ring for cash
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Go get with Nick from Otwell.
2. There are skirts worn in Petersburg.
1. His mom chased me up a tree.
24:32
October 20, 2020
Surrounding you with coconuts
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Impersonating a chicken nugget without a license.
2. I love the smell of urinal cakes.
1. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
20:51
October 19, 2020
Look at all those red flags:
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. In a video game - he can pull it off.
2. 12 hours without using the restroom.
1. Kill that Sum-Bitch
19:03
October 16, 2020
Better late than never
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Stuff. From today. It's stuff from today.
20:26
October 15, 2020
Gluing a murder hornet
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A belly ache and a smile.
2. Pooping on the playground.
1. Rejected food from Robinson Illinois.
19:24
October 14, 2020
Teetering on the edge of criminality
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A lot of people are afraid of a hard one.
2. Made from cow dung.
1. I know several dum-dums.
20:36
October 13, 2020
I just seem to go dry.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Seeing Phil McKracken behind my back.
2. I need a new butt.
1. You're either going to play dead, or you're going to be dead.
20:19
October 12, 2020
A degree in "Expert-Ology"
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. See the Coyote eat the Roadrunner.
2. Get yourself a beef enema.
1. It gets hard when you get to 2nd base.
21:21
October 9, 2020
Here's that podcast we owe you
Apparently we (well, Cliff) messed up and put the wrong recording on the wrong podcast the other day.
Here's what we owe you....
22:21
October 8, 2020
Bright-tongued and bushy-eyed.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Hiney bunches of oats.
2. A beef enema.
1. Put it in gently.
24:35
October 7, 2020
The Secret Newsman Handshake
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A hypnotic suggestion that left weed bent over with his pants around his ankles in the control room.
2. A big handful of poop.
1. A free prostate exam.
04:57
October 6, 2020
A gorilla carrying a machete
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Sit on the toilet to put on your underwear.
2. It didn't to towards the prostate.
1. Change your name to Lazy Boy.
20:40
October 5, 2020
I do my best thinking on the lawn mower
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Put the donuts down and get back to work.
2. The turtle can breathe out its butt.
1. I would not like to be the last guy sucking on that.
16:23
October 2, 2020
The sign of a lonely man
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. English Beavers.
2. When did Phil McCracken get access to the server room.
1. Don't drink the water from Pee Pee Creek.
18:42
October 1, 2020
A pair of grey underwear.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A dead politician in Romania.
2. A bible thumper and a backseat dumper.
1. Miracle on 34-Double-D Street.
21:11
September 30, 2020
We got it stuck in somebody's ear.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. When I check my dipstick it smells good.
2. Mom fixed it with Grey Poupon.
1. Some of the prizes I wouldn't have taken any way.
18:43
September 28, 2020
A terrible bowling accident
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The difference between country squirrels and city squirrels
2. Does a bear actually do that in the woods?
1. I'm not going to exercise but I will heavy breathe.
19:57
September 25, 2020
Take me to - Belchertown
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Have you ever had lube in your ear?
2. A smoldering pile of crap.
1. We've upped our our safety standards - so up yours too.
18:45
September 24, 2020
A brother named Kenmore.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3 The forgotten weapon.
2. I tried it one time - just to see what it felt like (wink, wink).
1. A poop with eyes.
23:11
September 23, 2020
Putting the pumps on a dude
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I don't know why you'd put racing stripes on a 3 cylinder vehicle.
2. 863 pounds of marijuana.
1. Go home and rub some salve on it.
22:08
September 22, 2020
There's a banana on your leg.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A day of lying.
2. It's my birthday and I have to poop.
1. Why are you scared of Faith Hill?
17:46
September 21, 2020
You'll be fined $5
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. You can't stop it before it starts.
2. A poop knife.
1. He had squirrels in his pants.
21:47
September 18, 2020
I'd pay for a Carrie Underwood wrestling match.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. An extra medium shirt.
2. You've got to own the poop.
1. I knew you were gonna touch my trophy.
20:43
September 17, 2020
Redneck on Ice
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. All leprechauns are potheads
2. Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit
1. If you wanna smell like a lady, you're not the man I thought you were.
20:38
September 16, 2020
He couldn't hold it any longer
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Not knowing some things is a better way to go through life.
2. Pooped in a dishwasher.
1. This is one of the dumbest damn things I've ever seen in my life.
23:04
September 15, 2020
Smells like a jockstrap
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Injure yourself on a toilet.
2. See Uranus with the naked eye.
1. Sitting in his cab, squeezing a hamster.
10:38
September 14, 2020
A pig with no legs
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Stealing a police dog.
2. There is no vodka in scrambled eggs.
1. All our kickstands could be up.
21:57
September 10, 2020
Moon me while I'm on the air
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Misinterpreted the actions of the ladies.
2. Chocolate for a poop issue.
1. I don't know what I'm going to do without you - but I'm going to try.
18:11
September 9, 2020
It sounds like you're swimming
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I've eaten Little Debbie for breakfast many a day.
2. P-Storm.
1. Stick that on your tree, Grandma.
21:45
September 8, 2020
It's like you're living in my brain!
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Sheets actually come off the bed.
2. Poop - is there anything it can't do?
1. Do-si-do doesn't do it for me.
18:18
September 4, 2020
I'd like an order of Moist Tenders please.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. There's a chicken in your piano.
2. A Lamborghini for corn.
1. Guns and Feces - a good name for a rock band.
17:27
September 4, 2020
We might need a top hat later
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. If you weight two tons, you're a heavy eater.
2. Charm a snake like Phil McKracken.
1. I've gotta go - I've got a nickel stuck in my nostril.
21:09
September 2, 2020
Overdose on brussel sprouts
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I don't know if I sleep with my mouth that wide open.
2. A shortage of fruit.
1. I'm going to have downspouts installed on my butt.
19:47
September 1, 2020
The agony of defeat
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I always try to steer away from poop.
2. Eating your own poop.
1. Crispy squirrel for the win!
18:12
August 31, 2020
Sitting on a throne of bacon
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A herd of books.
2. 45 pounds of poop per chicken, per year.
1. Even the robot things you're a jerk.
16:58
August 28, 2020
Men who want to repel women
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Plant your old farmers early.
2. Meat wrapped in different things.
1. Turn my meaty thighs into an asset.
18:59
August 27, 2020
Harsh memories
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. You don't really know where those fingers have been.
2. Smelling sweaty people's butt cracks.
1. I was the valedictorian of my high school class.
17:28
August 26, 2020
We're not really morning people
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Their bacon tree was picked clean.
2. A trained monkey.
1. Not taking complaints from a dude in a skirt.
18:15
August 25, 2020
I wish there was a performance enhancing drug to make this program better.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Low-hanging fruit.
2. Man takes dump so big it puts ferry out of commission.
1. The clown part
18:33
August 21, 2020
You can throw two pickles.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A pepperoni shortage.
2. Candy on my Chest. (Could be the name of a good country song.)
1. There's a urinal in Fort Branch.
21:05
August 20, 2020
Glazed and confused
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. It's snowing chocolate.
2. Loading up guns and pointing the at their private parts.
1. Born to be wild - but not for a hundred years.
16:50
August 19, 2020
It made my ears bleed.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. There's a new fat man in town.
2. The tongue is the fastest.
1. A license plate for your face.
17:43
August 17, 2020
Make it stop...
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Callers simply try to make it stop. Some harder than others.
05:14
August 14, 2020
Do weird and unusual things with a microphone
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Booze idea.
2. My good friends Mountain Dew.
1. Who knew that calling someone a loser would be a good thing?
14:49
August 13, 2020
Rid your brain of waste material.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.
3. I knew of Captain Underpants.
2. The poop could be the least of your worries.
1. By accident, you actually created good radio.
17:51
August 12, 2020
Unleash the little package
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A tapeworm brain.
2. Some mornings I'm not in control of what I'm doing.
1. If things go bad it's best to just not talk about them.
16:20
August 11, 2020
If we call you a loser, don't take it personally
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A lot of nose-jabbing.
2. More grass in his system than a cow.
1. We'll drop a wiener at you.
18:15
August 10, 2020
Don't trip slow friends
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Who secretly bites their toenails?
2. A pair of Elvis Presley's underwear?
1. A bad vodka day.
19:32
August 6, 2020
Move the crappy talk to a different time
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. On the streetcorner with a long jacket.
2. Uranus sells like poop.
1. A message from Satan.
15:22
August 5, 2020
The losing continues.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Put the test tubes down and back away.
2. The only way out is through.
1. Pee Lite
21:30
August 4, 2020
Before the fisticuffs started
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Disappearing lids.
2. Don't touch their balls while they're playing pool.
1. Lying about watermelons.
21:16
August 3, 2020
We take your mind off entertainment
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. You should leave the wood alone.
2. Gravy-scented deodorant.
1. Officially declared a has-been.
20:51
July 31, 2020
Crank my Dollies
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Not a puppy love.
2. Swimming in the waters of Lake Titicaca.
1. A naked foot pursuit involving Blake Shelton.
14:45
July 30, 2020
Wear a face mask for less embarrassment
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. When do armpits pucker shut.
2. Booger Hollow.
1. Avoiding any mention of Dolly Partons' bra.
20:39
July 28, 2020
The horse looks really nervous
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. By November, we'll have aliens here.
2. You injured yourself on a riding lawn mower.
1. I know most people are dumb.
16:24
July 27, 2020
Were talking plungers
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I don't need that kind of action.
2. Get the Poozooka.
1. The Rain City Bitch Pigeons.
18:19
July 24, 2020
Trying to get a free shot
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Let's all keep clothed.
2. I have never tried to round up cows.
1. A small tattoo will look big on short arms.
24:08
July 21, 2020
Satan has our number
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I won't have any clean laundry
2. 35 reasons why you may get into a fight at Walmart.
1. You actually have the opportunity for the moth to go down in flames.
18:55
July 20, 2020
I may or may not be contagious
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Telling a lie with a straight voice.
2. Go jiggle the handle.
1. I'm pretty sure someone made a movie about this - and everyone dies.
20:09
July 17, 2020
No wiping involved.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. a reduced methane burger.
2. Added to the pain.
1. One of everything Weed and Cliff have.
18:03
July 15, 2020
Beat up in pillow fights
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Bring a machete.
2. Working on a really good poop story right now.
1. Touching that thing all the time.
18:45
July 14, 2020
Wrinkles in all the right places
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Who's tongue has been on this?
2. Let's go number 2! (Thanks to Chris Johnson from Owensville for that)
1. Punishment from Madonna.
21:27
July 13, 2020
He knows gross things.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Shocked at how soft I am.
2. That's a snazzy shirt.
1. An oncoming politician.
19:07
July 10, 2020
A visit from the Wine Fairy
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Fingering yourself.
2. Eating your underwear.
1. I was really hoping their would be aliens in that story.
18:53
July 9, 2020
Racing stripes. A spoiler. And rust.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Racing stripes. A spoiler. And rust.
2. Pooped in their bed.
1. Don't bend over while the door's still open.
16:50
July 8, 2020
Harness the power of - body odor
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Weed has a thick-ass skull.
2. The Perspiration Hall of Fame.
1. We'll make fun of you for all eternity.
12:07
July 7, 2020
Release the Quacken!
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A pincher on my right hand.
2. Measuring the pressure in my butt.
1. Dolly Parton never made an x-rated movie.
18:51
July 7, 2020
Blow off a finger or two.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
We salute the birth of America! (As only we can).
04:53
July 3, 2020
Rigged your weiner to blow up
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. My new mask will be a pair of underwear.
2. Posting pictures of your fecal matter.
1. I'm here for a reason, even if I'm not all here.
18:06
July 2, 2020
We always have luck. It's always bad luck.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Focus on duck hunting.
2. A connection with the singer of a horrible song.
1. Work on your boasting skills.
19:35
June 30, 2020
This is how weird things are...
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast>
3. Picking their nose while driving.
2. In the demolition business - accidentally.
1. Praying to the Ancient Roman God - Freon.
23:06
June 29, 2020
Meatloaf on tap
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I could use a good tickling.
2. I haven't had my worm in the water in years.
1. In order to think like a fish, you have to drink like a fish.
22:08
June 26, 2020
I've never seen a good looking camel.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Sticking your fingers in holes where everyone else has had their fingers.
2. VP of Fecal Matters.
1. Too aggressive while kissing.
16:45
June 25, 2020
Sucking on an iguana popsicle.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. What was Angie doing in the men's room?
2. I used to sing in the church choir.
1. Don't microwave your library books.
Special thanks today to Dakota Weiss of Fort Branch for saying stuff on the radio we can't say.
19:58
June 24, 2020
Those shorts are way too short
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Cut it large, kick it into place.
2. Vibrating your pimples away.
1. You could get Walter's name tattooed on your butt.
21:23
June 23, 2020
Both lips around the microphone
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. That plague of locusts has been postpone.
2. A collection of buzzers.
1. Entertaining cardboard.
20:52
June 22, 2020
Surly to bed and surly to rise
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Hair on a bar of soap.
2. Head down in the outhouse hole.
1. Robot Pollinators.
19:10
June 19, 2020
Getting drunk alone. At home and in your underwear.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. What attracts us to Slim Whitman?
2. Far-from-poopen.
1. The bravest guy in Gibson County.
22:12
June 17, 2020
Treats from Jack the Ripper
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Hear mosquito spit.
2. You know what I would add to it? Poop!
1. How many inches do you have to have?
20:02
June 16, 2020
I don't want any limericks at my funeral
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Uncontrollable drooling.
2. Yep, that's poop. (Always gonna be #2)
1. What's the point of booing if nobody can hear you?
18:35
June 15, 2020
Graffiti someone else's cow.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Rear Flank Downdraft.
2. Hitting the homemade wine a little too hard.
1. Don't share the toilet - go one person at a time.
21:40
June 12, 2020
Tripping over your own pants
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Look manly, especially when you're wearing a bra.
2. Win a free planet.
1. I swear I did not fall on the carpet.
18:12
June 11, 2020
The Adventures of Indiana Weed
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The Fabio of West Salem, Illinois.
2 A desperate, panting hound dog.
1. A La-Z-Boy adventure.
20:22
June 10, 2020
You need to get more wood
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. You two need a moment alone?
2. A degree in manure management.
1. That's a wife text.
20:15
June 9, 2020
A collection of bad memories
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Old lady perfume.
2. I don't understand how people can poop on command.
1. A machine that licks for you.
20:26
June 8, 2020
A snake in the restroom
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Beer with your breakfast.
2. Snot palaces.
1. A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird.
21:18
June 5, 2020
Licking it didn't work
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Standing as a grown man, pulling.
2. It's got a 7 inch turd in it.
1. If you lick them, you're going to be dead.
22:45
June 4, 2020
Assaulted with a large pickle
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. We're gonna drop Boy George on you.
2. I'll stab your goat.
1. My head is not a flotation device.
20:01
June 3, 2020
I've got a pants problem
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. You'll be gagging.
2. Zombie Fires.
1. Riot Control Bees
21:35
June 2, 2020
Hard Times Call for Hard Liquor
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Something you can squeeze.
2. Your leg - the only thing we can pull.
1. Accordion appreciation Month.
18:40
June 1, 2020
Get in a monkey tussle
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Ben Dover - not how you want to introduce yourself to a cellmate.
2. Talking through a bacon mask.
1. If they say it's not a scam, it's a scam.
21:00
May 29, 2020
Tested positive for a Wednesday
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Pooped on the hood of her car.
2. Your shirt is getting stuck in your belly fat.
1. We're experts, just not very good at it.
21:49
May 27, 2020
Splashing around in liquid poop
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Rhinestone-studded jockstraps.
2. All about flamingos.
1. Triggering a psychotic event for Matt Hocking
21:40
May 26, 2020
A lot of 'too bad.'
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Wear it out with both hands.
2. Making the listeners suffer.
1. Watch people cut their hair on TV.
23:44
May 22, 2020
When wading in the pool avoid the warm spots.
In this Official Weed and Cliff Pocast:
3. Julio Iglesias.
2. A whole page of bad words.
1. Getting high off animal poop.
20:09
May 21, 2020
Slap them with a sausage.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. 6 pounds of lipstick.
2. The degree of the jerk.
1. Harry Azcrac.
17:26
May 20, 2020
My tape has no sticky side to it
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Blowing a bagpipe - a national sport.
2. Use a sharpie and put your initials on your balls.
1. How can you play baseball without spitting?
18:07
May 19, 2020
Drive by and toot
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Cement and pigeon poop.
2. I've always had a thing about mannequins.
1. I'm about 6 weeks away from being elderly.
20:51
May 14, 2020
We're not known for produce consumption.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Shaved his dalmation.
2. Turn stale and square at the same time.
1. Happier than a murder hornet with two stingers.
19:42
May 13, 2020
Left searching for words
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Made from astronaut urine.
2. Women may not wrestle each other.
1. Angie has our balls covered.
17:49
May 12, 2020
Blow your nose into a pancake
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. We test your knowledge of coathangers.
2. Someone got a colonoscopy in the men's room at Country 98.1
1. We're gonna need a ball sponsor.
19:15
May 11, 2020
I think my stinger's bent
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. How big is it?
2. The rubber gloves are not helping.
1. I managed to rip my butt to shreds.
18:24
May 8, 2020
Consumed in disappointment
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The prizes are - meat.
2. It'll be a quickie.
1. Our listeners are as big a smartass as we are.
19:59
May 7, 2020
I'm going to lick this place clean
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Throat-sized Cheerios.
2. The Red Snapper.
1. I'm not planning on sweating anywhere.
22:06
May 6, 2020
My Inner Fred Flintstone
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Cliff would have been in jail.
2. Watching dirt being made.
1. More people than ever before are turning us off sooner.
21:41
May 5, 2020
We bring you a variety of destruction
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A bad stain in my brain.
2. Poop to body mass ratio.
1. Do it yourself trimming and plucking
19:02
May 4, 2020
Drunk as a Monkey
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The unnamed wife of Jerry Moore.
2. A porta-potty on surfboards.
1. You put a Q-Tip there?
22:24
May 1, 2020
The air builds up inside my head.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. An industrial sized can of cheese balls.
2. National pooper-scooper week.
1. Willing to take it in the face.
20:32
April 30, 2020
I fumble a lot.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Swirling around Willie.
2. Sacrificing a Snickers.
1. My special pair of pants.
19:45
April 29, 2020
An easy way to get kilt.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Start saying bad words.
2. Throwing your cat across the room.
1. Flinked me twice.
21:56
April 27, 2020
A bunch of useless lips
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. You smell it.
2. You can't hug them back.
1. Throwing kinks around.
22:19
April 27, 2020
Get the wedgie out
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. What an Abe Lincoln sandwich would taste like.
2. If you put your tongue on it.
1. I've seen a jackass in a meeting at work.
21:30
April 23, 2020
I'm not sure we can feature punishment
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Her boobs saved her life.
2. The champion chicken plucker.
1. Can we have our program back now?
21:05
April 22, 2020
There's no such thing as a tiddle
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Do some lay-downs.
2. A no-tunes Tuesday.
1. Now you can understand why yesterday's program was so bad.
16:40
April 21, 2020
Wear a short bathrobe
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A solid #2.
2. A complaint about gray chest hair.
1. Every person you see is Freddy Krueger.
19:29
April 17, 2020
We don't want a conflagration
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I liked your licking.
2. A bunch of brow-beating.
1. I'll let you burn a pair of my sweatpants, as long as I'm not in them.
20:13
April 16, 2020
Let us burn your sweatpants
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Scraping my undercarriage.
2. It appeared to be a salad.
1. If everyone has to listen to wake me up before you go go - that's just tough titty.
22:58
April 15, 2020
At least I got zuchinni
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The children you are now humiliating will eventually be the ones to choose which nursing home you go to.
2. I only washed my hands for 19 seconds.
1. There are places on your body where you don't want potato chip crumbs.
23:06
April 14, 2020
The Meatloaf Fiasco
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. There could be a mouse in our refrigerator.
2. Chunky, but not very tasty.
1. Social distance like Matt Hocking - be so irritating no one wants to be around you.
21:05
April 13, 2020
WHO let the dogs out?
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Very Floridian.
2. 5 goat pelts.
1. Outrun the coronavirus.
20:08
April 10, 2020
Gagged myself on a peep.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The next time you injure yourself.
2. The Easter Bunny had a fling with a chicken.
1. Thong underwear - made for things to hang out of.
20:57
April 9, 2020
Speaking with a Fork-ed Tongue
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Black market Jack Daniels.
2. Bird-spackled.
1. Cooking your meat on the ground.
18:44
April 8, 2020
It's a special potato
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Panda Porn.
2. An expert in women.
1. Sending out some pranks.
18:54
April 7, 2020
Pilfer a sheep.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Wandering up on the naked.
2. The words pooper and scooper actually do rhyme.
1. A co-worker asked my when my baby was due.
18:09
April 6, 2020
Oiling a squeaky hinge
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Lysol is not meant for food.
2. A taste for punishment.
1. Weed is the expendable one.
19:40
April 3, 2020
A plague of unwanted nudity
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The potato nerd.
2. Jerking and jerking.
1. A rich aunt with giant boobs.
19:41
April 2, 2020
Narrating homemade porn
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I forgot my own birthday.
2. I love you, Truck Driver Ralph.
1. How do you get a dog to blow?
15:55
April 1, 2020
A gravy shortage
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I have Batman Underwear.
2. An armload of spleen.
1. Clean up your insides with 2 shots of booze.
18:03
March 31, 2020
After my disinfection
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Uranus is leaking gas.
2. Putting their hands on your knob.
1. Naked and laying in the mud.
17:34
March 30, 2020
I've traveled all over Petersburg
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. It burns at the end.
2. My own logic.
1. Can you pop a zit without touching it.
23:22
March 27, 2020
Your front teeth turned brown
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Put the butt out while you're jogging.
2. His very own bidet.
1. Stay home and stay well.
22:24
March 26, 2020
Watching everything you grab and touch
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. One hair short of an official bald spot.
2. Sanitize the nozzle.
1. Wake me up before you go go.
20:54
March 25, 2020
Don't grab stuff
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Sticky and slippery at the same time.
2. Avoid farting naked around other people.
1. Deodorant is an essential service.
22:15
March 24, 2020
We need towel friction
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Grinch Jammies.
2. We have a wet end and a dry end.
1. Towel friction.
17:32
March 23, 2020
A touch of poison
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Go with refrigerators.
2. Take me to Poo Poo Point.
1. What does Willie Nelson grow in his garden.
18:33
March 20, 2020
Who hasn't whacked it?
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Who hasn't whacked it?
2. No prize, only punishment.
1. A Lysol high
22:34
March 19, 2020
Strapped in a dental chair
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Rick and Dick in the morning.
2. All of this stuff used to be money.
1. What weird stuff do you do with Kool Whip.
17:45
March 18, 2020
Feeble is the key word
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. It's hard to do things with something that big.
2. This too shall pass.
1. In West Virginia there is no need to social distance yourself from your sister.
22:13
March 17, 2020
Go with two fingers
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. What's so complicated about Matt Hocking's bathroom?
2. Bowling goes on.
1. Cliff uses the word bloviate in a sentence.
20:44
March 13, 2020
Pull on the loincloth
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A tongue tazer.
2. I've got a big drill in my pants.
1. Does anyone want go to go the bathroom because they WANT to?
17:29
March 12, 2020
A big fan of big food
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Anything in a tube (is pretty exciting).
2. 4 patties of animal.
1. Overdraft my checking account - buying toilet paper.
20:24
March 11, 2020
International Bagpipes
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Somewhere between monkey and gerbil.
2. Pepper spray - better than Axe.
1. The weirdest make-out place you'll ever be in.
12:02
March 10, 2020
A Nut Consultant
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. No one's listening - we just pretend they are.
2. Psychiatrist Barbie
1. A spotlight on the rear.
19:53
March 9, 2020
That didn't come out right
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Internally panicked.
2. Scooting along in the grass like a dog.
1. Keep your fingers out of my glass.
16:36
March 6, 2020
If I get a llama.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Little weird things.
2. Just know the knowledge.
1. Your daily delivery of hate.
20:06
March 5, 2020
That's where the diaper comes in
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The future is now - if not sooner.
2. That's how the cornfield caught on fire.
1. The future is now. If not sooner.
19:49
March 4, 2020
Elected DJ for a day.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Go wet that thing down.
2. Behind on my haircuts.
1. It's a long way to the moon, you gotta have something to play with.
19:25
March 3, 2020
The Cloak of Invisibility
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Black cowboy hats and private jets.
2. The Exploding Hammer Festival.
1. I think I'll shampoo my hair.
16:58
March 2, 2020
I can see Uranus
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Cliff's love of Barry Manilow.
2. A dating ritual in Arkansas.
1. Standing anywhere holding a banana.
18:46
February 28, 2020
A Bag of Perfection
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Never trust a fart.
2. Bladder fermentation.
1. Walking around all day with the meat swinging
17:45
February 27, 2020
Gibberish will follow
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Getting more action.
2. The beginning of skunk mating season.
1. Leather bras with pointy cups.
15:28
February 26, 2020
The Dumber You Are
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Take a look at how big it is.
2. Guillotine - really bad for you.
1. What my face looks like with a snake in my pants.
16:23
February 25, 2020
I Woke Up Ugly Again
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. He knows how to birth babies.
2. Backwash your bottle.
1. Carrying around a bag of poop.
03:29
February 19, 2020
Whiz Down the Line
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Make it a little bit bigger.
2. Go woof woof woof.
1. Bathroom malodor - established by a federal government standard.
18:39
February 18, 2020
The High Court of Love
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I would marry my proctologist.
2. Seeing a woodpecker.
1. Does anyone ever really schedule diarrhea?
17:56
February 14, 2020
Those probes are long
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. I'll take 2 cups.
2. Body slams for Jesus.
1. Drop a Roomba in your pants.
14:30
February 13, 2020
Probing people on Valentine's Day
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Wearing a lot of stuff from the 70's.
2. Can you get me a date with your sister?
1. We got to talking about how hard it was.
16:15
February 12, 2020
A true romantic at heart
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. The Patron Saint of Epilepsy.
2. Dog poop on white bread sandwich.
1. The salami bouquet.
17:37
February 11, 2020
Headlights for Dummies
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Peeing on the sidewalk in Alabama.
2. I'll take famous authors for $1,000.
1. Things seem a lot faster now than they did last week.
11:26
February 10, 2020
Surprise, you're infected!
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Looks good raw.
2. Their 'little blow-y thing.'
1. Stop smearing boogers on the wall.
18:52
February 6, 2020
Let's do surgery
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Name a rat.
2. I'm not taking a shower with Ron Rhodes.
1. Whip it out from underneath the table.
16:50
February 5, 2020
The Sweet Spot of Stupid
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. A thong onsie.
2. A rather large amount of dog poop.
1. It's how far to El Paso?
17:28
February 4, 2020
Have you ever milked a donkey
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Cutting the cheese - when it's chunky.
2. The piece of tongue was recovered by police.
1. A groundhog omelet.
11:01
February 3, 2020
The vomit has spoken
Oh this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Eaten by the nuclear waste.
2. A light stinker.
1. Satisfied with my hemorrhoid treatment.
15:08
January 31, 2020
Technically Illegal
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Living a life of crime in Alaska.
2. Being flagged for illegal use of hands.
1. The 81 year old wiener.
21:05
January 30, 2020
Doing Tongue Yoga.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
It was mostly about eating fruit candy. And Cliff's tongue. Which as it turns out isn't all that exciting.
12:19
January 29, 2020
A tinkle in my eye
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Competitive cake eating.
2. You can't catch the Corona Virus from Corona beer.
1. Resting on the laurels of my tongue.
14:59
January 28, 2020
Hearing a snake sneeze.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Get it all in the mouth.
2. Too much blood in my caffeine system.
1. She wrote on a piece of cheese.
15:47
January 27, 2020
Expose yourself too much
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Subsequent turds.
2. Her hits will live on forever.
1. We're gonna see which one of us get's it up first.
14:03
January 24, 2020
I don't have the legs for the beach.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
3. Driving the Nut-Mobile.
2. Someone at the library is going to have to cut the cheese.
1. Testing the limits of liability insurance.
14:18
January 23, 2020
Remote Detonator
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
1. Everyone likes a good poop joke.
2. Cliff, you're going to die.
3. Let's go with the word - stuff instead.
19:10
January 22, 2020
The giblets to be prince.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
1. A little hygiene on your nose.
2. Nuts go flying everywhere.
3. Harry, Weed and Cliff
17:27
January 21, 2020
What do you call someone in the Space Force?
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
1. Failing to plan just means you have planned to fail.
2. Why am a miserable failure.
3. A nickname you don't want in prison.
18:41
January 20, 2020
Your dog sounds a lot like me.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
1. Red splotches.
2. Dolly Parton's Treasure Chest.
3. Sucking up to his boss.
15:05
January 17, 2020
Our braintrust continues to spin.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
1. Just how ugly am I?
2. Sitting on a camel with a frozen hump.
3. You get to choose the armpit.
17:19
January 16, 2020
Slip your tongue in here
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
1. Everyone smoking is going to be arrested.
2. Ratchet up the excitement.
3. Lois the Fibber
18:51
January 15, 2020
A nervous colon
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
1. Heavy on the herbs.
2. Disconnect his private parts from his body.
3. It took me 7 days to find the restroom.
19:11
January 14, 2020
"I'll take Presidents for $400, Alex."
On This Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
1. Things more boring than us.
2. That stuff around your mouth.
3. Don't mail poop.
17:14
January 13, 2020
The game was rigged.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Pythons in their bathtub.
Thin walls.
Never going to be Mayor of Owensville.
17:16
January 10, 2020
What girl wants to see a man's goldfish?
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.
Dating a marijuana farmer.
Because of my armpit.
Walter and I are having a texting affair.
20:24
January 9, 2020
A flaming snake.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
A diaper for your left nostril.
That pull my finger trick.
Shoving a die in my armpit.
21:00
January 8, 2020
A free stab
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
The margarine for error.
Romance, Weed-Style.
Put my hair to sleep.
18:34
January 7, 2020
How big is that thing?
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Illinois - smoking it faster than it can be grown.
Explaining the Preparation H taste in your mouth.
Battery-powered long underwear.
21:29
January 6, 2020
A cold beer argument
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Pooped to his heart's content.
The wrong side of the quacks.
A bird expert.
19:23
January 3, 2020
I slept in the dryer.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
What's going on in Weed's genes.
Tailgating 101.
Urine trouble now.
20:05
January 2, 2020
The plaid sheep of the family
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
He's a heathen.
You got to go make moonshine.
And the top phrases of the entire year for 2019.
20:00
December 31, 2019
2019 was prickly
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Being in love with your cousin.
Before we get to the probing.
Things that look wonky.
19:11
December 30, 2019
Their last hope
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Bacon wrapped in lingerie.
Kinks in it.
My head's not a giant radiator.
14:52
December 27, 2019
Go hard and late
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
The hangover you get from not drinking.
I would be cool if I had a transgression.
Some beer I'd like to un-drink.
18:05
December 26, 2019
Because it's Christmas
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Vince Vance and the Vigilantes.
Fart out their soul.
Sleeping through a fist fight.
22:50
December 24, 2019
Practice safe mistletoe
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Mountain Dew Body Wash.
Weed puts his hands into something really bad.
One free toilet blockage.
19:33
December 23, 2019
An Elfie McElpherson Christmas
As a special to the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast, our good friend Elfie McElpherson reads - Twas the Night Before Christmas.
03:42
December 21, 2019
The 'Lotion Incident'
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
How you get lotion in your nose.
Where never to put any body parts.
Reindeer can't walk and pee at the same time.
18:43
December 20, 2019
Left over toilet brushes
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
This thing is stiff.
Do angels eat?
The stomach flu gamble.
19:32
December 19, 2019
The outcome was dramatic.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Silent Night, Deadly Night (pull my finger).
A buffet dancing in your head.
Underwear tied to my finger.
17:40
December 18, 2019
Duct-taped to a pole
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Rudolph is a stick-shift.
Port-a-Potti Man.
Major organs - removed with a shoehorn.
20:31
December 17, 2019
A cucumber and a jar of vaseline
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Meat on your package.
Don't pee in the kitchen sink.
Santa beat the crap out of you.
18:35
December 16, 2019
A dude in a hockey mask.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
A vast numbness.
The power's in the berries.
Install the Poop App.
16:21
December 13, 2019
Jingle Balled
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
A buck-toothed vampire.
The dog was chewing on matches.
The spitter was right there, in my pocket.
17:16
December 12, 2019
Too aghast to be curious
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Not fat at all.
A master cardboard licker.
Never, ever make this sound in the stall of a public restroom.
20:43
December 11, 2019
Tell the fat guy
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Humanure.
A bow on the wiener.
The naughty Santa.
19:31
December 10, 2019
A big drag on your career
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Short Dude Day.
What happens in Newport Kentucky, stays in Newport Kentucky.
Weed is a genius.
19:04
December 9, 2019
Beer - it's what's for breakfast
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
What would your log smell like?
A breeze down there.
75 percent edible.
19:39
December 6, 2019
Crime Pays
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
She has a poop ornament.
Catching a wiener in the buns.
I don't trust anyone with my beer.
15:01
December 4, 2019
You broke my mind's eye
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Here's a place we can bury you.
A Master's Degree in Poopology.
Not just for roadkill any more.
19:13
December 3, 2019
Headed off to the railroad tracks.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
We weigh in.
Elfie McElpherson visits.
12:33
December 2, 2019
The morning show fountain
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Making a toad pee.
That nasty rash.
The vacuum of space.
19:40
November 30, 2019
Do not wash your turkey
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
We make an exciting announcement about a celebrity who will be visiting our studio next week!
20:48
November 27, 2019
The conditioner treatment
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Eating a candle.
Clown Car Sauna.
A busload of marijuana.
16:48
November 26, 2019
Like a velcro head.
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Synthetic Frogs.
A horseradish pop-tart.
Blunderbuss.
17:55
November 25, 2019
An award from the Waffle House
On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast:
Free reign on possum.
My left nostril has issues.
Rub suntan lotion on your snowman.
18:54
November 22, 2019