On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: A vast numbness. The power's in the berries. Install the Poop App.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: A buck-toothed vampire. The dog was chewing on matches. The spitter was right there, in my pocket.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Not fat at all. A master cardboard licker. Never, ever make this sound in the stall of a public restroom.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Humanure. A bow on the wiener. The naughty Santa.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Short Dude Day. What happens in Newport Kentucky, stays in Newport Kentucky. Weed is a genius.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: What would your log smell like? A breeze down there. 75 percent edible.

Take a listen to this - Official Weed and Cliff Podcast for today.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: She has a poop ornament. Catching a wiener in the buns. I don't trust anyone with my beer.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Here's a place we can bury you. A Master's Degree in Poopology. Not just for roadkill any more.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: We weigh in. Elfie McElpherson visits.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Making a toad pee. That nasty rash. The vacuum of space.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: We make an exciting announcement about a celebrity who will be visiting our studio next week!

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Eating a candle. Clown Car Sauna. A busload of marijuana.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Synthetic Frogs. A horseradish pop-tart. Blunderbuss.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Free reign on possum. My left nostril has issues. Rub suntan lotion on your snowman.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Saint Nuggets. Don't jerk and drive. Congratulations, you're #2.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Native American Dysentery. Interest in soiled toilets. Loved her like a rock.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Measuring men. Racoon casserole. Meth, we're on it.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Who's getting to first base? Public toilet paper dispensers. Plenty of other things to keep your interest.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Giving out advice on lotion. Grade A mistletoe. Turkey flavored Pringles.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Food doesn't scare me. If you rub it right there you'll get the desired result. The Flab-O-Meter.

Oh this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: An extended cussing streak. The Call of Doody. What are - the 5 W's?

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast starts now:

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast. A live chicken sitting on his shoulder. The Number 2 Tavern. Missed his own phrase.

Here's the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast for today:

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Dam safety. Hot, sweaty, and mad. Don't stroke the rooster.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: The Foot Thing. Asteroid insurance. Olivia Newton John's pants.

Here's the entire contents of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

Thanks to Keith for making the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast special for today.

Boo.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: You can put moonshine in your coffee. Never, ever eat raw meat; while using the bathroom. Cow farts, a-plenty.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Operation Skidmark now in effect. It makes my feet clap. Totally naked - crash helmet.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Ball boys. A U-Haul full of wine. 3 tons of dog poop.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Warnings of eternal damnation. Never too late to worry. The "Number Two Man."

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Presenting your package. A wide range of bodily functions. Spend the day squirting someone.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Getting Cialis for your birthday. Like a magic act when I disrobe. You'll marry your sister.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Why my pants felt funny. No licking - you gotta bite it. Pretty stabby.

It's the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast for 10/17

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: A professional hide and seeker. Dot my dip out. Seen on a muffler.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Random Chemicals - thrown together. Touch the fuzz. You could get a splinter in your backside.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: A three month reign of creepiness. You can only bite 80 times a day. He thinks you need Jesus.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Manboobs. The River City Rocker. We suck pretty hard here.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: More than just pee in their tea. Leprosy Island. You're a wussy.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: We stop talking and get to the farts. Marry their sister. A story where a dude whips it out.

Please enjoy this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: An orphan in a rubber suit. Matt Kolb in a dress. Lost an election because of onions.

You should give this a listen.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Chomping on a cheeseburger. The Hung Road. Working up a sweat - just from watching YouTube. 

On this official Weed and Cliff Podcast: 8 insect parts. One good reason to become a vegetarian. Breaking up with low humidity.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Like kissing your aunt - and she slips you the tongue. Isn't that enough?

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: 40 seconds too long. Is there anything more traumatic than running out of toilet paper? When something gross seeps in to your shoe.

Weed and Cliff today: Kicked her for the first time. Fry for the error. Make more money on grass than Willie.

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast today features: The Roman Fart War. Deer leg nunchucks. Chernobyl happened this morning.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: I've quit the squirts. I set an alarm for munchies. Shaking hands with a proctologist.

It's the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Garlic meringue pie. A small anchor embedded in our skull. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Another Official Weed and Cliff Podcast! Uniforms to make us Radio Athletes! My Mister Rogers Halloween Costume. If it's got pants, we're going to talk about it.

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast for today: It would be awesome if the horse was drunk too. Standing there, looking like a dumbass. When his jar fell off we realized there was a problem.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Eat 14 donuts. It's cold and it's toothless. Get the Puck out of here.

Click and listen if you think you have the stomach for it.

On today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: F starts with failure. You call that excitement? I'm gonna stop working and go drink whiskey.

On today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Don't jinx Jimmy Carter. Tame oats. Throat deep in Slim Whitman.

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast has today: It's hard to talk to someone who's licking their fingers. Lucille's a donkey. The cheese is already cut for you.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Ignoring mysterious stains. Pull a bat out of my grill. It hurts as bad as breaking a bone.

This Official Weed and Cliff Podcast contains: Things you need to hear.

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: What do you with a cougar after you catch it? Your stinky jockstrap. Have an odor named after you.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Drink from the toilet. I could eat right to the bottom. Gravy Wrestling Championship.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: A vending machine that distributes bacon. Rooting for the depression. Laugh-tose intolerant.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Keep the balls off the stage. Cow pie bingo. Doctor Kraken, the Proctologist.

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast. The burning feeling in his butt. Someone who can sit in judgement. Pee on the tire of a bus for good luck.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: An emotional support giraffe. The best way to avoid a good swatting. Don't pee in my mashed potatoes.

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: We get a plumbing award!!

On today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: If it touches wood. Listening to plants grow. His friend came over to use the toilet.

Today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast contains: That saying your favorite teacher had. 'Astronaughty'

What do pageant queens do when they all get together? Listen and find out....

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast! Here's today's topics: A bra for your pants. Soaking in raw sewage (for three days). Little kids, riding sheep.

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: The cats take away our sanity. Eating packets of ketchup. We're going flying - and pack a barf bag and an extra diaper.

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast today includes: Dead fish. Bacon cookies. Clover in your backside.

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Crusty Shorts. A Cartoon Elvis. You're safe from pregnancy.

On today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: She removed an alligator from her pants. When winners are losers. Bacon for a lifetime.

Or hear it, either. On today's podcast: A giant con by Billy Ray Cyrus. A 4-H project that got out of hand. How pooping can kill you.

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast for today: Poop jokes. A lengthy discussion for dirty sheets. And more poop jokes.

On today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Underwear rental service. How to make bad breath. My teeth are missing.

On today's edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: The cockroach milker. A professional scapegoat. Weed leaves early.

On today's edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Yank his drawers to the sky! Breaking your nose. and we go from cornflakes to enemas in a single bound!

Today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast includes: An artificial tongue. Peeing in an ice machine. Something about knees.

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: You forget where the bathroom is. A guy who knows his tongue. Binge drinking for retirees.

On today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Misheard song lyrics! 'There's a bathroom on the right.' 'Wearing my sex show.' '400 children and a crop in the field.'

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: A bait diaper. His back is pretty hairy. A box containing 9 tarantulas.

Today on the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Pee-tatoes. The Fabio of Feet. Bags of dog poop

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Radioactive urine. Filled with truth. The jock strap was invented in 1874.

Today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast includes: Proving you're an alien. Driving away from church. They all taste like chicken.

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: 1,000 gallons of pancake syrup. Somebody's been peeing there for a week and a half. My right hand is still numb from last night.

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast today hits with a vengeance. Today's fun includes: A Metallica taste in your mouth. A fresh supply of sweat. While you're in a public restroom, touch as few things as possible.

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast for today: I've never been so drunk I wanted to punch a horse.

On today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Frequent enemas. The legality of smelling your wife. There's a peacock on the loose.

And we also celebrate the 50th anniversary of the first moon landing on this - Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

On this fine edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Aiming a crab invasion. Buying beer from an 11 year old. Better than the Wienermobile.

That - and a giant, rabid chicken in Weed's yard - on the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast - from a Turd Workd Country.

On today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: We smoke bologna! Trophies for animals. If I had a job I wouldn't be here in the first place.

Here's your beer - have a nice day!

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: More fun than a scab collection.

Only on the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast can you hear: A booger in your ice cream. Cooling off a chicken. Going the full monty.

Today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast contains the phrase: "Just because they don't stop to go to the bathroom doesn't mean they don't go to the bathroom." Have fun making that mental image.

Stinkwater - something you don't want to drink. Or eat something that's been soaking in it. It's the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

Click here and listen to the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast!

How about if you 'whip it out at the cookout!' The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast, that is.... Have a great 4th.

This edition of The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast also wonders why - we don't all just get drunk in the morning.

Take the test today about all things - Canada! Also hear who's upper body is flaming and which is the wrong hole - on this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

On this episode of The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Your underwear has to be removed in pieces. Just licking it. And Cliff accidentally shocks himself!

Today's classic edition of The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast has the following (and more): Rubbing the lantern. Touching my zapper. Promenades and Do-si-does.

And forgets to bring it in. This is The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast

It's like there's a fairy to deliver beer!

Be sure and check out this edition of The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast for information about who's going to be visiting us later in the week!

Welcome officially to the first day of summer! This edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast contains all the fun stuff we said about - ice melting.

Thanks to Michael from Fort Branch for violating the FCC regulations when he was on the phone with us today. His uncensored phrase, and all the other stuff on this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

Here's the latest edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

That and more on this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast. Including the - 'boy scout camp with a bar.'

We battled through myriad technical difficulties to complete this latest edition of The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast. Things not even the Great Weedini could fix...

On this Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: How to name your baby? A one punch fight. The truly dangerous lives all left-handed people live (including Cliff).

Including details about the Bob Newhart Battle Royale. A trip to the bowling alley. What happens when you're too lazy to clean up after yourself. It's the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

The Weed and Cliff Podcast is now posted for 6/11. Technical issues, of course.

If you listen to this all the way through :) It's the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

On today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Weed angers Alabama, opera singers, and Cliff goes after The Great Weedweenie.

What happens when you answer correctly, but you were supposed to give the wrong answer?

Did you know it's 'Potty Training Awareness Month?' You'll know all about it after you listen to today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: "Bohemian Crapsody" Who's bladder is - the alarm clock of their body. An endless stream of drunken hydration.

On this, exciting edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Add Vodka. The Devil's Flatulence. Squirrels that can shave.

In this edition: We find out how big a worm someone is fishing with, A listener tells us what he thinks Cliff's life is like, and that silly 'Take it to the Bank' segment does something it has never done before.

Here's today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast for May 29th: Including that part where Cliff accurately guesses what the "P" stands for...

Just one of the things you'll find out today - on the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: Weed gets it up about halfway. Astronauts aren't the old guys to pee in their suits. How we'd get the unique flavor of - Weed and Cliff Wine.

Things you'll learn on today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: What not to do with an air compressor. The perfectly wrong way to conceal your identity. The name of that bell.

On this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: You'll feel the force of my mom's hands around my neck. A talking bottle of Jack Daniels. And, the Greatest Love of All.

It's what happens when you're going down hill - and the brakes are out. Today's fun includes: Mixing martinis in a rain gauge. Remembering whether or not you got a colonoscopy. Have your seen our nibblings?

On today's episode - Weed tells us about student loan debt, when you go to school at the DJ Academy, Cliff talks 'Mansmells' and a listener brings it all out for her wedding anniversary.

Including that thing about the denim speedo.... Sorry about that.

So full of Fake Flavor, you'll never know we're actually tasteless.

This stuff is so good - even Weed's professor at the DJ Academy will be proud. If you listen, you'll experience the same satisfaction you get when you trim your fingernails.

Way too many things to list today, but here's a few: Naked basketball - a whole new meaning to dribbling. A big, massive hat. Eyebrows. It's the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

It's the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast for Monday, May 13th. Have fun :)

And that is: What do Cliff and Mozart have in common? It's the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

Today's fun on the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast includes: Freestyle Scratching. A bigger dauber. "The camel poop had to be eaten warm and fresh."

What's it like to be Weed? Think of what it must feel like to be, "Chased away by girls with cooties." That and more on today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

In honor of it being National Honesty Day the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast celebrates all things true. Like the professor who says aliens are breeding with humans.

For your listening enjoyment - today's Official Weed and Cliff Podcast. (In this episode Cliff covers the Take It To The Bank segment)

Please enjoy these and many other exciting topics on today's Official, Weed and Cliff Podcast: A pissing contest. Paul Viton, dropping his drawers. How long a hug is too long?

The Officials Weed and Cliff Podcast today has the following fun and games: "Grandma's gonna get arrested." "A toxic gas cloud." (Cliff's favorite, for obvious reasons) The proper etiquette after you stab someone. Getting an ax to the crotch.

Today we may have lost some of our marbles, but this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast marks the first time that we actually bled for this program. Well, Weed did. Cliff tries to steer clear when Weed is doing dumb stuff.

Some of the basic features installed on today's version of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: A Squirting Flower - good name for a rock band. When your colon talks to you. How many Americans iron their underwear. Enjoy :)

All the stuff we said today - on the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast.

The Officials Weed and Cliff Podcast today contains: The Japanese word for poop. What is the official amphibian of Pennsylvania? What's the stuff inside a Magic 8 Ball smell like?

The Official Weed and Cliff Podcast for April 18th. Topics include: Where all has Willie Nelson been arrested. How much is Billy Ray Cyrus worth - at auction. What's a good medicine for running at high altitude (the answer will surprise you).

Some of the things you will hear of this edition of the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: When we can expect a video of Matt Hocking picking his nose. It was the worst name for a subdivision in America, until they changed it. And that "unexpected solidified ingredient" is not something you'd want to find in a cookie.

Today on the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast: An appendectomy - on my kitchen table. What is a crescent wrench? A tribute to Weed. And as an added bonus: What important role will the Magic 8 Ball play in your life tomorrow?

The official Weed and Cliff podcast. You too will be glad Weed's pants stay up during the show.

Today's Weed and Cliff Podcast - more than just algebra with two dummies. Listen and then ponder the question: Have you ever cried in the shower?

The shirt hits the fan. How to get free swim diapers. A good moose-licking. Is that propane in your pocket or are you happy to see me? Enjoy :)

The Weed and Cliff Podcast today has some of your favorites! Including - how many ways can you cut the cheese? What's the best day to get gas? And an impossible math problem. (HINT) - that algebra story problem you have to solve to win Grand Ole Opry tickets is contained - in this podcast!!

Things you'll hear in the following minutes of delicious podcast goodness: 3. Why there's a sudden need for 'little monkey yoga pants.' 2. A way to create the artwork of your life. 1. Why we ceremonially slammed the lid. And as an added bonus - breaking the annoying wind.

On today's Weed and Cliff Podcast you'll hear. 1. All about a giant roll of toilet paper. 2. A superhero named, "The Urinator!" 3. A Polka rock band named, "Sausage Metal."

About music. about country music, about goats, about cereal. We learn it all. The Weed and Cliff Podcast - have fun with us.

Today on the Official Weed and Cliff Podcast you'll here that awkward conversation. You'll also hear about chafing in a sensitive area, tackling a pelican, and a pickle sandwich. Enjoy the listen and think about that 'Support This Podcast' button.

Featured on today's Weed and Cliff Podcast: They sell alcohol at Disneyland? What happens when Weed gets a lazy eye? Listen to how Weed got pranked for April Fools' Day.

What's the most boring thing to watch on TV? What happened to all those massage parlor owners? Why today is a good day to not be around people with archery gear? That and more on today's Weed and Cliff Podcast.

Answers to these and other burning questions answered today: What kind of bourbon is distilled with beard hair from a hippie? What is Ronco Purgatory? Where does a guy wearing nothing but a thong keep his ID?

Here's everything we said today (including the Phrase That Pays if you missed that)

Today's podcast includes exciting entertainment like: Why won't Weed touch a frog? Would you dress my mannequin? Where can you get 'fake urine'?

And the thing that makes him most nervous. More than anything else. It's not what you might think. Thanks for listening to the Weed and Cliff Podcast :)

Today's Weed and Cliff Podcast includes: Making sure all the holes are filled. The perfect time to eat an apple. An entire conversation constructed of Meatloaf song titles. Thanks for listening!!

That and many more things you need to know are in today's Weed and Cliff Podcast.

Things you will hear on today's podcast: A man from Nantucket. Musings on National Poetry Day. How to go to the bathroom in federal prison.

Today's podcast has one repeating theme: Weed being weird about chickens. Give it a listen :)

Have fun listening! You learn many interesting and exciting facts. Just kidding.

Or as known on our show - just another Monday. Thanks for listening!

Today's Weed and Cliff Podcast features a description of what one of our listeners did to the really cool coasters. Also you can hear Cliff say BOOGER a lot! Enjoy, Weed and Cliff

That, and other burning questions answered on today's Weed and Cliff Podcast. Give it a listen :)

Find out why that's OK, and hear lots more stuff on today's Weed and Cliff Podcast.

That and other fine things were said today (3/11/19) Give the Weed and Cliff podcast a listen to day.

What should they rename the Big 8 Conference to? Why does Penny want to see Reba? What is the surface area of a cat? 3/8/19

If you missed the story - give a listen to today's podcast: 3/6/19

At 55 MPH. And complaining about all the other drivers, going to fast. Today's Weed and Cliff Podcast:

Here's the podcast for March 4th.

Even that thing about putting your hand in the hole.

You may have one where you work. There's definitely one here - someone who hates you. Listen to the podcast for 2/26 to find out more

The podcast for February 25th.

What would that actually sound like? We answer that any many other burning questions during this podcast.

Today's podcast features the story about how Listener Billy ran a chain saw in his knee. And as an added bonus - the dude who pulled his hamstring going to the bathroom. Listen up...

Give it a listen. We discuss typhus and dog poop. An unbeatable combination.

Find out why you might want to do that, and other things on today's Weed and Cliff Podcast.

The Weed and Cliff Podcast - weekend edition. This is the stuff we said on Valentine's Day.

Today being February 15th, 2019. Listen and you'll have the knowledge about farts being recorded on the Richter Scale.

Everything we said today - June 13th, 2019. Oh and go to out website to see what's up over there.

Today's red-hot action includes - where do you put the key to start the horse, what not to do with your children, and what happens when it's summer on Uranus. February 12th, 2019

Listen to all the stuff we said on 2/11/19 - on this podcast.

And it's this phone call that we got today. The Weed and Cliff Podcast for February 8th.

Including that part about how Weed eats French Fries. The Weed and Cliff podcast for February 6th.

On today's episode we uncover one of the 11 Original Herbs and Spices, talk about cutting the cheese, and find a Die Hard criminal.

Including that part about Weed tinkering with his Love Machine.

Even that part about Weed's nose hair.

Including the "Smell This" story. You know you want to hear it - so click!

What we said today may have been the grossest phrase for 2019, and there was some listener chatter too - and you know how you all are. Click the link and give it a listen.

Here's today's podcast with all the stuff we said - including the amount of money you can make by selling your poop.

Including Weed's amazing plan to make us, "Field Sobriety Test Dummies."

And - we ponder the question - has Willie and Dolly ever smoked a joint together?

And - we test drive the Love Machine!

Even 'Songs In the Key of Death'. Yep - said that too...

Including all about the propane heated toilet seat.

Even that story about drinking wine from a Pringles can...

And here it all is. Feel free to listen to it in its entirety.

Everything we said on January 9th.  Including the answer to the question, "How big are Weed's nostrils?"

And that's the way it is...

A dude brings a gift for Weed to the studio. And it was lacy...

This episode contains basically everything that we said on the radio today.

Weed and Cliff discuss the classic game played in PE Class - Dodgeball.

Weed and Cliff play Two Truths and a Lie with the Mayor and the Police Chief:

You might not agree with it, but Cliff said it. And he stands behind it.

http://weedandcliff.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/wedgie_receiver.mp3

And as usual, everything he says is – not quite correct.

Cliff’s ‘Throwdown’ pays tribute to those who paid the ultimate sacrifice.