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Weird AF News

Weird AF News

By Jonesy

Comedian Jonesy covers weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Florida.
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Burglar steals vibrator after entering through a dog flap. Does Mozart's music stop crime?

Weird AF NewsMar 20, 2023

00:00
18:12
Help us find the biggest weiner in baseball. Man dies after friend pumps air into his rectum.
Mar 28, 202415:39
Strippers' Bill of Rights signed in Washington. Man believed his mom a vampire and staked her.
Mar 27, 202416:14
Titanic door that murdered Jack sold for $700k. Tennessee senate passes bill banning chemtrails?
Mar 26, 202413:48
Man stole and ate the leg of someone killed by a train. Buying lady poop online isn't easy.
Mar 26, 202418:12
Naked Florida woman sets fire to church and police cars. Child brought gun to daycare in lunchbox.
Mar 22, 202419:50
Boys ages 11, 12, and 16 rob a bank in Texas. Bakery can't sell alcohol near the pyramid winery.
Mar 21, 202425:13
Man offered college girls $100 to kick in the groin. Student persuaded to cut off both his feet.
Mar 20, 202420:23
Lady with two vaginas and a boyfriend for each. Cat fell into a cat of toxic chemicals.
Mar 19, 202421:01
Lady impersonates FBI agent to shut down Waffle House. Elderly couple escaped living facility.
Mar 18, 202417:05
Fake Florida doctor does a "killer" buttlift. Mom tried to sell her daughter in a bank parking lot.
Mar 15, 202420:59
Man creates giant mutant hybrid sheep illegally. Dead man's roommates drive his body to his bank.
Mar 14, 202422:35
Simulated period pain for male office workers in Japan. Fake lawyer at Burger King scam.
Mar 13, 202418:03
Rats are eating the marijuana at NOLA police station. Men planned to have python eat young girl.
Mar 12, 202417:16
Saudi Arabia's humanoid robot "gropes" news anchor. Library will accept cat pics instead of fees.
Mar 11, 202420:60
Floridaman says his bomb threat was "flirting". Man holds lady for ransom after learning she's Trans
Mar 08, 202420:46
Teacher shot student during exams. Russia and China plan a nuclear power plant on the Moon.
Mar 07, 202423:59
Scorpion stung a man's groin in Vegas hotel. US military man shared classified info on dating site.
Mar 06, 202417:38
Balls Out Bowling where nudity is required. Nasal spray addiction crisis in Norway.
Mar 05, 202423:28
Toe-licking fundraiser event at a school. Man pulls knife on comedy club staff after denied stage.
Mar 04, 202420:47
Floridaman claims is Jesus while pooping in a Target. Floridaman hates free stuff and will attack.
Mar 01, 202418:30
Teacher brings swords to class for kids to battle. Willy Wonka event left kids in tears.
Feb 29, 202423:58
Mom can't stop throwing Christmas trees. Japan will launch first wooden satellite.
Feb 28, 202415:45
Singer dosed bandmate with estrogen to steal his girlfriend. Woman will be first to marry a hologram
Feb 27, 202419:08
Corpse left in a hearse for two years. Man tried to buy a Porsche with $78 million check.
Feb 26, 202417:18
Florida woman gives mom a hot grits slap. Measles outbreak at a Florida school but it's fine!
Feb 23, 202419:29
Priest arrested for selling Viagra. Japan will allow women at the Naked Man Festival.
Feb 22, 202419:22
Your coffee has poop in it. Human leg found on the NYC subway tracks.
Feb 21, 202416:22
Man wearing kilt puts antiques up his rectum. Alabama court decides a frozen embryo is a child.
Feb 20, 202418:02
Bedsheet gloryhole trickery gets man jail time. Gang of elderly bank robbers with incontinence.
Feb 19, 202422:16
Floridaman carjacks his grandma. Floridaman stole statues to gift his ex on Valentine's Day.
Feb 16, 202425:51
Maggots fall on passengers' heads during flight. Stingray is pregnant but who's the daddy?
Feb 15, 202425:02
Pastor sold meth out of his Methodist church. Women are all about those AI boyfriends.
Feb 14, 202417:52
Tv show features girl turned into a chicken nugget. Crowd attacks a Robotaxi.
Feb 13, 202417:17
Mutant cancer resistant wolves in Chernobyl. Airline will weigh passengers ahead of takeoff.
Feb 13, 202413:57
Floridaman believes in right to shoot crack bears. Florida patient jiggled genitals for a crowd.
Feb 09, 202423:46
Climbers must carry own poop down from Mt. Everest. Radio station had their 200 ft tower stolen.
Feb 08, 202423:05
"Free Cocaine" samples lead to dealer arrest. Man paints squirrels to find which make the dog bark.
Feb 07, 202413:54
Dairy Queen meth ring dubbed "Operation Blizzard" bust. Samurai sword swinging man invades Walmart.
Feb 06, 202418:11
Man shoots at "Ninja like" people for hours. Large inert nuclear missile found in man's garage.
Feb 05, 202414:54
Florida mom's OnlyFans ad on her car featured at kids school. Florida wife does Florida things.
Feb 03, 202421:30
Adult diaper spa offer therapy in your diaper. Sky Poop leaves locals baffled.
Feb 02, 202426:01
Elmo learns that humanity is very depressed right now. Mother pours hot water on her horny son.
Jan 31, 202417:59
After Super Viagra orgy, man exposed himself at Hungry Jack's. Dead man wakes after pothole hit.
Jan 30, 202418:44
Pepperoni vandals strike Jersey home. Health officials warn do not eat fried toothpicks.
Jan 29, 202419:08
Floridaman anger management therapist murders people. Man tried to sleep with all flight attendants.
Jan 26, 202418:02
Amish horse and buggy stolen from Walmart parking lot. Senators propose bringing back duels.
Jan 25, 202423:21
Ukrainian woman wins Miss Japan. Metal band apologizes for throwing severed pig's head at a show.
Jan 24, 202423:10
Man stabs neighbor over loud snoring. New bill would ban sexy selfies unless you're married.
Jan 23, 202419:18
Bigfoot sightings are Black Bears, study shows. Marathon runner disqualified for chain smoking.
Jan 22, 202420:08
Florida woman tried to use dog pee for drug sample. Man touches himself while stabbing a stranger.
Jan 19, 202420:23