Wayne Zespy felt like a zebra in a pack of horses. His step dad was very abusive and from a young age he felt like he was never good enough. He was never good enough, while he younger brother Russ could do no wrong. The message from his mother was "you just need to learn how to behave." His religion reinforced the message that he was a bad person responsible for all the suffering in the family. Drugs made him feel "right" again, like he belonged. They made him feel normal. They saved his life until they stopped working for him. Wayne left home at the age of 17 to join the Army. He dropped LSD during basic training and took amphetamines during boot camp. The upside, he was second in his battalion! Once he took so much LSD (enough for 16 people to get very high) he saw the beginning of creation, Armageddon, and the devil and his demons fighting God and the angels for his soul. He was strapped to a gurney and met with a straight jacket at the hospital. From the age of 15-30 his drug of choice was "more". If a little was good, more was better.
The worst drug he used that caused the most heartache was alcohol. He overdosed 9 times. He was in a coma for 10 days from an attempt at suicide. Wayne was extremely violent and got into many fights. He was homeless. After a stint in jail he was sent to a 2x4 program. Two weeks in treatment and 4 weeks of outpatient. He has been clean ever since. He went to so many AA meetings and if not at AA he was with a sponsor having coffee working the 12 steps. 6 months into his sobriety he lost his brother and then 2 months later his mother. He was completely alone.
At his lowest he looked in the mirror, tears streaming down his face and saw his best friend looking back at him. He told him he loved him and would never desert him. He woke up the next morning and said what would I do for my best friend? From that moment on, he poured love into himself and began to heal. Today he has a thriving business as a life coach, hiking guide, and also counsels people helping them to find their spiritual path and return to their natural state. He teaches meditation and facilitates ceremonies, retreats, and workshops on recovery and spirituality. You can reach him by email: Wizhiker12@aol.com or phone 520-825-6613.