proof of suffering
I'm all out of words, so here's some soothing guitar music.
August 07, 2022
Making changes by setting goals, managing steps, removing barriers, and succeeding are what I am covering in today's episode. I walk through some tips and tricks to keep on track, but also touch on our language and perceptions of ourselves which can adapt as well to help reinforce who we are becoming with intentional living. It's okay to outgrow who you were, and updating how you present yourself as you change can be helpful in letting people know who you are. There will always be those who might try to use your past against you, and not much you can do about that, but try not to be one of those people. You need you in your corner.
August 02, 2022
Please consider supporting my Podcast, or my Patreon, or buy some art, or music or even just put a few dollars in the tip jar, so I can keep producing the music, art, stories, podcasts, and videos you've come to enjoy. Thank you so much for your support!!
August 01, 2022
Trauma Recovery: Hate, Anger, and Self Loathing or Love and Compassion
In this episode I take a look at how self-loathing is often a symptom of the care and love we have for the people around them combined with feelings of shame or guilt over something we may have said or done that has caused them harm. I set forth some steps to take to shift out of the state of hate and move into forgiveness, repair, and growth. Then I look at how hate and anger for others is often the inverse of love and care that we have towards ourselves, and talk through some steps that can be taken to care for ourselves, draw boundaries, and take effective, timely, meaningful action. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Wendy Says Things.
July 25, 2022
Energy Work: Detaching Cords, New Patterns, and Protection
The original Energy Work Primer video that I refer to in this podcast can be found here.
July 18, 2022
Beginning Energy Work
In today's episode, I talk about creating a meditative beginning to working with your chakras, and detaching from the past working with the primary seven chakras. For more information including visuals, hastily drawn, please refer to my YouTube video, Who I Am Plus Energy Primer. Reference books and people resources you might find helpful: Cyndi Dale New Chakra Healing Barbara Brennon's Hands of Light, Emerging Light Hands of Life by Julie Motz - Julie worked in a medical Heart transplant theatre and the increase in recovery times, the statistical reduction in rejections etc is fascinating and she talks about those experiences in this book. A Handbook for Light Workers by David Cousins Conscious Dreaming by Robert Moss (this is the Lucid dreaming book I refer to in the video) The Work of Byron Katie Brene Brown - researchers all kinds of interesting things some of which are applicable to energy work
July 11, 2022
Apologetic Blurp and Shameless Request for Financial Support
1. Formal apology in the current trend of apologies 2. Shameless request for money 3. Gratitude
July 06, 2022
It's a Matter of Trust
In today's episode, I talk about trusting yourself, trusting other people to be themselves, building trust with people, and building a network of support based on healthy boundaries, intelligent trusting, and individuals who support you within their unique capabilities.
June 27, 2022
Living with Wasps
I have a colony of wasps living between my front door and the glass door. Here's how that happened and what I am not doing about it and what I am doing about it. How can we coexist with others when we feel afraid? Photos and more of the story can be found on my Instagram account here.
June 20, 2022
There's No Answer to 'Why?'
In this episode of Wendy Says Things, I talk about trauma recovery and how to get beyond Why in order to focus on How and What - how to move forward, what to do next. A little more about me: 'I have all the ACEs, Adverse Childhood Experiences. The worse they are, the more I had them to the point that neglect was wonderful. To be invisible, unheeded, uncared for meant no one was actively hurting me. I have spent years healing that trauma. I’ve read books, gone to therapy, participated in workshops, journaled through some of the worst experiences that people can survive. The human body is amazing how sturdy it is, how it can withstand so much pain and damage and continue to limp along. The human body is fragile as well, so that is the first paradox of life and survival. I have worked as a Spiritual Counselor and hold on online ordination through the Universal Life Church to legally protect the confidentiality of my clients. I am an energy worker, and have worked with people who have experienced tremendous trauma to renew their sacred connection to their spirit, to the divine, to others. I create art, poetry, music to heal and lift my spirit. I share it all, even the struggles, in hopes that it inspires other people to create, and to bring joy and happiness or laughter to people, and to commiserate. Life is challenging, but at least we have each other. This is how I create meaning in my life. This is how I love. This is how I continue to grow and heal.' Wendy Kheiry
June 13, 2022
Confusion, Crisis, Clarity
In this episode, I talk about uncertainty and the tendency, especially in people recovering from trauma, to precipitate a crisis in order to end confusion to get relief from feeling uncomfortable. Sometimes this prematurely ends a dynamic opportunity to learn skills, deepen relationships, and is not in the best interest of the person precipitating the crisis. In order to avoid regret, sometimes stepping back for perspective can be helpful. I talk about some strategies to break the cycle and work through the unknown with intention and curiosity. Thank you for listening.
June 06, 2022
I think we can do better.
May 30, 2022
What's Going On?
In this episode I talk about philosophy, meander on about a 6th grade science experiment, and wonder how we can try to balance staying informed with beauty and hope. Thank you for listening!
May 23, 2022
Despair, Anger, and Action
In this episode, I talk about how I process reactions to personal and world events through the phases of despair and anger, so that I can take meaningful action. Thank you for listening.
May 16, 2022
The Commodity of Being
I talk about how the commodity of being affects our opinions, and inhibits human progress. Here is the link to the Media Bias website I reference. Here are two article/studies about how emotions rather than logic drive decision making: One, Two. Thanks for listening, and sharing!!
May 09, 2022
Sick Like Sick
Once you get past the warm-up vocals, I talk about productivity, overwork, Covid, Long Covid, and POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome).
May 02, 2022
Creative Surrender (I Give Up)
In this episode, I talk about the value of allowing yourself to give up when you feel overwhelmed, unsure, and like you can't go any further right now. By using the down time of stepping back and allowing yourself to not continue on the path, or not taking the same steps, or not coming from the same space you have been, you allow yourself to listen to your creative spirit, your subconscious, and engage in a creative dialogue with yourself, your project, and the world. Thanks for listening!
April 25, 2022
What if you said more "Hell yeah" to your life and less "meh"?
April 18, 2022
Self-Punishment to Forgiveness
In this episode, I talk about the trauma of actions or inactions taken or not taken in ways that don't line up with our value systems, and how to begin to address it in a way that opens the door for healing and positive upward trending.
April 04, 2022
In this episode I talk a little more about making decisions based on a hierarchy of values, expanding to make more room for difficult emotions and situations, reducing tricky situations to the essentials, and goal setting to actualize your goals. Thank you for listening!
March 28, 2022
No Good Choice
Navigating when there's no good choice, only least garbage-y choices. In this episode, I say things about how to handle situations where there's not good choices, ways to approach it, and how to use it to leverage yourself into a better choice situation. I talk about some of the careers/childhood dreams I had, what I didn't say outright, is that those dreams were only fulfilled because I made the least garbage-y decision out of some just absolute trash choices. Here's to choice making! May your options improve. Thank you for listening to Wendy Says Things
March 21, 2022
Building on last week's episode, I explore tactics and strategies for creating intentional change internal or external. Thanks for listening!
March 14, 2022
Refocusing After a Setback
Life has given me a lot of transitions where I had a setback, change of direction, or an odd turn of events with unique challenges, so I've learned a few things about how to adapt, address, and adjust my trajectory to deal with the situation while not losing sight of the next goal. I talk a bit about this in this episode of Wendy Says Things. Thanks for listening!
March 07, 2022
Brief Update from Wendy Says Things
February 28, 2022
Turn down the heat. Today's episode is exploring the ingredients to hearted arguments, and approaching issues within relationships - friends, family or otherwise, with compassion for everyone involved. Thank you for listening!
February 14, 2022
Like a garden, we can cultivate joy in our lives.
February 07, 2022
My friends have been asking me about Dating Season - what it is, why I hold to it, and what the benefits are. I'm a person with issues. Even my issues have issues, so dating is particularly tricky for me. The intimacy, trusting, being open, and if it ends, the letting go, these are all challenging for me. So, I don't date for a certain period of time during the year, and focus on other things instead. Thank you for listening!
January 31, 2022
You've taken the step to set a boundary with a person or situation where there had not been one, and you feel terrific! And then...boundary regrets set in and these are a challenging mix of emotions and internal (sometimes external responses) which threaten to undermine the difficult work of setting boundaries. I talk about some of the dynamics in this new episode of Wendy Says Things.
January 24, 2022
Savor the Day
I had some thoughts on Savoring the Day. In my family when my kids were growing up, I used to set some treat aside for later. My kids would often ask me if I was going to eat that, and I would respond, "I'm savoring that for later." This was my way of having something to look forward to and maximizing the enjoyment of the anticipation prior to the eventual event. I've come to some ideas about working this anticipation and the idea of savoring into the great scheme of my life, and here are some of my thoughts on that. Thank you for listening to Wendy Says Things.
January 17, 2022
The Apologetic Life
If you've ever felt like apologizing for existing, this podcast may be right for you. I talk a little about feeling like I don't have a right to take up space, learning to be grateful, and how I experiment with ways of moving through the world. Thank you for listening!
January 10, 2022
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year! Here's a short update on what I've been doing, and a small bit of what I've been thinking regarding Compound Privilege.
January 03, 2022
Transitions: Art Studio in a Box, Gig work, Chronic Conditions
I had some thoughts this week about transitioning from regular 40 hour a week job, to part-time work with gigs supplementing, and the strangeness of having my Art-Studio-in-a-Box, and living in a tiny house. Creative solutions found within limitations
September 13, 2021
Trauma, Perfectionism, Self-Sabotage and the Creative Process
My move is just beginning to wind down. I had some thoughts today about trauma, perfectionism, self-sabotage and the creative process. Thank you for listening!
August 13, 2021
Episode 5 Creativity and Self-Definition
Hi everyone, I've been exploring different avenues for creativity: art, writing, poetry, music and combinations of them, and I wanted to share some of my thoughts on how the vulnerability we expose through our creative arts affects us, and how our choices define us. In many ways, we have the ability to choose who we are going to become, and how we are going to develop. Take a listen, recommend my podcast to your friends, share on your social media, drop me a comment, and consider becoming a supporter for just a few dollars a month, you can help keep this podcast casting. I mention a TedTalk on the subject of choices and self definition, which you can find here. I love this talk, and have watched it a couple of times, and recommend for anyone facing or considering making big life changes. The talk is by Ruth Chang, and you can find it here. I mention my Instagram photography, and you can connect with me here. My poetry and writings can be found here. Constellation on SoundCloud can be found here. If you use Facebook to connect, I have a page with writings and art and music here. Thank you for listening! Don't forget to subscribe to catch the upcoming episode that I'll be putting out with Maren and Tonya on Compound Privilege.
June 30, 2021
Not Dying Just Yet
Hi everyone, Just popping in here to give you a brief update. I had a medical scare, I've moved, and I'm not dying just yet. How do we live a meaningful life? Why do we talk about life and death like winning and losing rather than as a natural, gestalt whole? How do we end up with so much stuff? An upcoming episode will have Maren and Tonya both on to discuss compound privilege with me. Please Subscribe to the podcast! Like and share your favorite episode (s), and feel free to tag me in your shares. Thank you for listening!
June 13, 2021
Wendy Says Things Episode 3 Part 2: Politics from Despair to Activism with Maren Bertelsen
I couldn't wait to get this episode out to you guys, so here it is. Maren really gets into the heart of what kind of actions people can take to be involved in community, and to help direct the changes in our towns, cities, states, and nation. Most importantly, the work is never done. We keep striving, and we support others in their striving. We can rest, but we can't stop. Here are a few highlights: "Like there's real injustices out there in the world, and there's ways to address them and that's what politics is. Politics is talking to one another. Politics is addressing the issues that are confronting us as a community, so I don't think I'll ever become deactivated again, and I try not to despair." "You have to decide what's important to you. And you have to view politics as a way to get those things done, and you have to figure out how you accomplish them within that political system." "So, part of my job is to hold my representatives accountable when they don't do the things they say they're going to do." "You know, when people talk about debt, a lot of that is occurring because politicians aren't willing to tell constituents that to pay for this, we’d have to raise your taxes. So, they keep on cutting taxes and then paying more for programs." "I think everybody should be devoting at least a few hours of every week to doing something that improves their community. It doesn't have to be necessarily, you know, in politics. You know, everything is politics. Everything is how we relate to each other as human beings. But get involved in something. Make it…make our world better and you start local." "...if I'm interested in something, I want to know the group that's doing the stuff on it because they've already solved a lot of the problems. They've already built part of the road. They've got a nice vehicle. I just need to help them push their vehicle. I don't need to reinvent the wheel. I don't need to go and research all of the best ways to have a better police force…better police forces in my state. There are already lots of academics who have been studying it for a long time. There are communities that have already put solutions into place and have lessons learned." "There isn't a way to fix problems quickly. There is only making things better." You can find the Audio transcript here. Support this podcast directly with a monthly contribution on the main Anchor page here. Recommend me someone to interview next (or it could be textile pollution next, you won't know). Share your favorite episodes far and wide! Thank you for your kind words of support! I have the highest quality of listeners, so thank you for that!
May 13, 2021
In Which Maren Would Like to Clarify About Delaware's No-Excuse Absentee Voting Bill
Maren contacted me after listening to Episode 3 part 1 and asked if she could clarify something she felt came across unclearly, so we got together on Zoom this morning to record this for you, dear listeners. The second part of Episode 3 is still in the works, as I am in the process of some major life adjustments. I will try to get it out for you soon.
May 11, 2021
Wendy Says Things Ep. 3 Part One with Maren Bertelsen: Politics - From Despair to Activism
My friend, Maren, who you met in the first Episode, Dreams and the Stories We Tell Ourselves, comes back on the show for Episode 3 to talk about how becoming politically active has deepened her understanding of politics, renewed a commitment to engagement, and outlines some of the avenues that political activism can take. Listen as she speaks with her heart and passion about her experiences leading up to, and coming out of, the 2020 election cycle. Audio transcript can be found here.
April 29, 2021
Talking with Tonya (Part 3 of 3)
Tonya and I wind up our (really it was four parts) episode talking about hidden costs and factors of energy of renewable energy, the distance between people and our resources, volunteering, religious organizations and where their money goes, and spirituality. It was such a great pleasure to spend time talking with Tonya. After we cut the mics off, we continued talking for a good while longer, and we hope to have some time down the road to share with you again. If you haven't had a chance to check out the previous episodes, you can find them here. Show notes can be found here. Thank you for listening, and thank you for your support. Please subscribe to catch new Episodes as they are launched. Next up, Maren is coming back on the show to talk about politics, and I hardly got three words in sideways, if you can believe that. ;)
April 01, 2021
Talking with Tonya (Part 2.5 of 3)
Thank you for your patience while I have been working hard to get these episodes out, I have also been working in other areas to pay the bills. Wendy Says Things is sponsored by Anchor by Spotify, for which I am grateful. I get about half-penny per play for the advert slug in the center-ish of the podcast. I am not podcasting for the dime in my virtual wallet, but because I think these issues need to be discussed, and the info found in the Show Notes needs to be compiled and accessible. In this episode, we talk about cultural attitudes on nursing in public, attitudes towards children, definitions of intimacy, ways to nurture the mind and spirit, following intuition, how the #metoo movement could be more inclusive of male survivors of sexual assault (resources are in the show notes), and how businesses need to take a long-term strategy approach toward climate issues to stay relevant. The Washington Post just published an article about how 85,000 claims of sexual abuse have been made against them. Our society must begin to value our children. If you've missed previous episodes of Wendy Says Things, we have covered topics such as Dreams and the Stories we Tell Ourselves, Talking With Tonya Part 1 (We cover some basic concepts in this episode about personal energy and healing, interpersonal energy and healing, and generational trauma energy and healing.), and Talking with Tonya Part 2 (Where we tackle Child Abuse, and Human Trafficking. We zoom into some of the specific challenges of addressing these issues, and back out to frame them in greater societal and cultural trends.). We know that these issues may be difficult to hear, and discuss, and share. Our goal is to provide information, support, and healing in these difficult areas, during these difficult times. Thank you for listening. Thank you for healing. Thank you for surviving. Your life is important. Your heart is a gift to the world.
March 02, 2021
Episode 2.5 Coming Soon
There's still time to catch up on the first episodes of Wendy Says Things. I have an album release coming up February 20th, so I'm a little behind on the podcast! Check out the details here. There are many ways to support this podcast, and I appreciate all of the ways you-all help keep me going!
February 16, 2021
Talking with Tonya (Part 2 of 3)
Tonya and I pick the conversation back up in this second part of the second episode tackling Child Abuse, and Human Trafficking. We zoom into some of the specific challenges of addressing these issues, and back out to frame them in greater societal and cultural trends. Tonya, an Indigenous Health and Wellness practitioner who has long advocated for Native rights and who was at Standing Rock, walks us through some of the specific challenges facing our Native communities when it comes to preventing, investigating, and bringing to conclusion cases of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women. Classism, the Legal System, Politics, and personal traumas all influence our society as we attempt to put into play laws and dispositions which value and protect our children, while providing them with freedom and support to grow and develop. We talk about God, and Spirituality, Religion, and the tribal roots that all of humanity shares. Marriage, Sex, Freedom of religion, and Freedom are touched on as well. For references, articles, my personal comments, research, and organizations helping to combat human trafficking, please refer to the full transcript which can be found on my website here. Previous episodes and links to additional platforms can be found here. We love all of the ways you support us - likes, comments, shares, discussion. Keep it up, and thanks for listening.
February 09, 2021
Talking with Tonya (Part 1 of 3)
In this episode you-all get to meet my friend and spirit-sister, Tonya Floyd. She works as a health and wellness practitioner, and comes from an indigenous lineage. Tonya has long been an advocate for awareness of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, and the issues around this are heartbreaking (we delve deeper into this in Part 2). We cover some basic concepts in this episode about personal energy and healing, interpersonal energy and healing, and generational trauma energy and healing. From suffering to chakras, empathy and enneagrams, Tonya and I lay the groundwork for examining the issues facing our communities today. For the transcript, links (so many links to research, books, and articles!), my personal notes, and photos (in this case a drawing of the Ancestor Chakras), you can follow this link to my website. Thank you for tuning in to Wendy Says Things, and please subscribe to make sure you don't miss the upcoming releases of Parts 2 and 3 of Talking with Tonya.
January 25, 2021
Dreams and the Stories We Tell Ourselves
In this first Episode of Wendy Says Things, I sit down with my friend, Maren, from Delaware. I invited her on this introductory show so that she could ask me about some things she thought you, the listener, might find interesting about me. We reference a lot of studies. The transcript, studies, and my notes on the text can be found here on my website. Everyone has dreams while they're sleeping, even if they don't always remember them. I sometimes have dreams that come true, and I am not always sleeping when I get them. A big blow in my life came when some of the dreams that had come true for me ended, and my subsequent reluctance to really unfold any new dreams coming my way stems from that. Some of the dreams I have had which came true were in direct response to my being nervous about a big life change out in front of me, such as when I moved to the Caribbean with my at-the-time-husband, and our three young children. Some of the dreams were the catalyst for a life change, like moving from Saudi Arabia to Vermont with my three middle school aged kids, and starting a horse farm, giving lessons, and raising chickens and other fun farm stuff. We speak a little about memory and how unreliable it can be, even though we launch ourselves, and our worldview from it. Which led us to talking about the stories we tell ourselves, and about the impermanence of things, and adapting to living within the paradox of these stories. There are refences to myth making and the personal narrative, how our perception narrows based on environmental reinforcement, and how humanity is, perhaps, living in a skewed room. We end up touch back on how life is like a sand mandala. We put in the effort, even if success is only for a second, and then put our shoulders back to the wheels. What are your dreams? What stories are you telling yourself about fulfilling them? Infinite Gesture T-shirts and merchandise available here.
January 15, 2021