What's After Church

We receive God’s goodness so that we can demonstrate God’s love. Our sharing of God’s kindness can take many forms, like giving money, gifts, or time. A simple yet powerful way to share life and love with another is through our words.

One approach to faith or spiritual growth will not support your development for a lifetime. When you change, you will need additional support and new practices. A healthy evolution transcends and includes the previous stage. It consists of the best from the past while embracing a new and better reality. You do not need to abandon all that has gone before. Look for the value in your past journey and release what is holding you back. Take the best of what you currently have and combine it with the best of what is to come.

There is a type of reading that informs the intellect as it shapes the heart. It requires the recovery of skills that are out of fashion: leisurely, meditative, prayerful, and repetitive reading. As we engage in this reading, we bring our mind and Spirit before the Divine so that the Infinite Presence has the opportunity to take us one step deeper into self-awareness and understanding.

Every person is 100% unique, including how we connect with the Divine. There are no dittos among souls. Just as we have different personalities, we also have different ways of connecting spiritually. What resonates for one person may or may not resonate with another. Even though we are each wired differently, there are themes and patterns for how we experience God or the Divine. The key is understanding our specific spiritual personality and connection type.

Growing up in a Christian family and attending church, I saw firsthand that Christians love to judge and classify everyone, just like the Pharisees. I became very adept at making these distinctions based on the club rules. Sadly, I find it easy to judge others.

Peter learned the hard way that we should not call anyone impure or unclean. 2000 years later we need the same reminder.

Leaving the Church is hard, and this comes as a shock to many. After feeling the anxiety of being in the Church, they stop attending, thinking the stress will go away and they will be free. Initially, there is a release of pressure and newfound freedom. A couple of weeks after leaving the Church, they say, “This feels great. I love my weekends, and I don’t miss the drama of the Church!”

However, similar to the honeymoon period of a new relationship, the initial excitement begins to fade, and the reality of the changes and everyday life becomes apparent. A few months after leaving the Church, the excitement is gone, and they say, “I didn’t realize leaving would be so difficult. I am lonely, and I miss the routine of going to Church. I have lost touch with most people, and no one reached out to see how I am doing. I thought the relationships were stronger, but I guess I was wrong. I am hurt, and I am angry.”

We seek to go around this wilderness, but the only way out is through this space. If we embrace this season, then we can grow through it and emerge transformed. There are treasures in the wilderness if we are open to its work in our life. But, if we are not careful, we may miss the gifts it offers. The wilderness is a place that will teach us about our self, strip us of false conceptions of God and Church, and uncover the hidden treasures in our souls. 

So, how do we navigate this phase of the journey?

When someone is leaving the church, church leaders and Christians create significant pain and heartache by what they say. Sometimes the most challenging part of leaving the church is living with the deep wounds from these interactions.

If someone is leaving the church, consider how you respond and don't say these 20 things.

How do we become more present to the moment, and engage the Divine? Many of us look at people who have the life we want, and we think they must have done something massive to achieve their results. But, it’s the small things that no one sees that make the significant differences that everybody wants. It’s the little things repeatedly done day-after-day that bring about the life we want. The key is to look for small habits to support our intention to stay connected with the Spirit. Here are 4 ways to experience the Divine in you.

The Spirit and Divine in you are the keys to experiencing the fullness of life and revealing all God has placed within you. When you live from your authentic and true self, you demonstrate God’s presence, power, and goodness to others. The challenge is maintaining the awareness of the Divine through each moment. Here are three obstacles to experiencing the Divine in your life. 

I struggle with fear:

• The fear of what others thought of me.
• The fear of looking foolish.
• The fear of disappointing my family.
• The fear of letting down my friends.

As a kid, I hated that fear was holding me back from enjoying life. During a youth church service, someone mentioned that God said, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.” The word ‘afraid’ caught my attention, and I wanted to know if the Bible had more to say about my fear. What is the big deal about God's presence?

Is God’s Kingdom something we experience when Jesus Christ returns to earth or when we die and enter the afterlife? Or, is the Kingdom of God something we reveal through the unique expression of our life?

Jesus intended a moment-by-moment focus and experience of God’s Kingdom. He was concerned with who we are in the present moment. Jesus states, “God’s Kingdom is within you.” Jesus reveals that part of our identity and purpose is to show God’s reality through our life.

Have you come to the place where the church is no longer working for you, but you continue to attend and are left wondering what is holding you back from going? Even when you know something is not right or even harmful, it can be difficult and painful to take the first step. It is normal to feel confused and need time and space to sort out the feelings and emotions. It is also easy to make excuses to delay or avoid the pain of leaving. Whether consciously or unconsciously, it is easy to procrastinate by making excuses or convincing ourselves that we will go, just not now. If you are stuck and not leaving, you may be relying on these 6 excuses.

After struggling with the decision and deciding to leave the church, and feeling ready to go, what happens now? Do you have everything you need to get the most out of the journey? Are there things you need to bring with you to be present in the process, enjoy the trip, and continue to grow? What should you make sure to have with you as you move forward? Here is what you need.

What is the first step in leaving the church? Here is how loyalty can get in the way and why you need to be able to say the phrase, "Not this!"

Does God want you to leave your church? Deciding whether or not to leave the church is often a painful, complex, and lonely decision. How does one choose the right thing to do or the next step they should take? Like any skill, the practice of discernment is developed over time and requires intention. Here is what no one tells you about God's will and the one thing you need for discerning your next step.

For many, the church provides a source of comfort for their faith and a connection with others. But what happens when the church is no longer working for you? Leaving church does not mean abandoning God or spirituality. For some, it has been the opposite. Leaving the church has led to a more vibrant faith and a more profound experience of God. Here is what to do when you don't know what to do about the church.

After leaving the church, I realized the church is asking the wrong questions. If we want to focus on what matters in life and what is really important, there is one question we should be asking.