Whiskey, Wine and Parenting

Do you remember how you were raised? Was it as fucked up for you as it was for the rest of us?

Belly up to the bar and let's discuss...

We sat down and compared notes on all the parenting advice we've received. And guess what? It's all a steaming pile of gluten-free shit...

Pull up a stool and listen to us bitch...

Cheers!

Have a seat. Grab a drink. We're talking about partying...

We are back from holiday hiatus. She's still bitchy...he's still drinkin'.

Pull up a barstool and join us!

When did Santa become not enough? Have a seat at the bar and join us as we discuss that little pointy hatted mother fucker!

Whiskey...not a big fan.

Wine...slightly more of a fan.

Oh...and there's booze!

We didn't get enough of the Horror last time. 

That's right, we cracked a couple more bottles and we're still obsessed with how much having kids is like living in a horror movie.

So pull up a stool and bullshit with us about the horrors of parenthood!

If you've ever listened to this podcast, you'll know that most parenting advise is absolute horse shit.

Pull up a stool and grab a drink while we talk about how our parenting decisions compare to others. Oh...and there's a list.

Pull up a stool. Don't mind the bloody hook or the candy laced with razor blades...it's all bullshit. Or is it?

That's right...we're talkin' Urban Legends.

Sit down with us...imbibe and let's shoot the shit.

Everybody has an opinion. And you know what they say? They're all fucking assholes...don't listen to them.

Grab a drink and listen to us and we slide into your ear holes and put your mind at ease...

We're all asshole parents.

My wife is a fucking saint and takes the time to sit down with our kids and cook with them.

Me? I feel like I am in the middle of a field of combat if I let them help me mix a protein shake.

Sit down and have a drink. We're cooking with kids!

The real answer? There is no such thing.

But we live in a world full of HOAs and opinionated assholes. So pull up a stool and have a drink with us.

We promise we'll at least say something nice before we try to make out with you...

Tonight we crack a few open and get a little raw. Everyone has been lying to you about what a relationship is. And the fuckers with the loudest mouths are usually in the shittiest ones.

So sit back, grab your big boy panties and drink with us.

The last one was so fun we decided to do it again.

Come with us. Have some booze with us. 

On this episode we get a little sloshed while talking about the benefits of whiskey vs the benefits of drinking wine. Oh and we ask each other questions...

Come for the booze...stay for the conversation!

We were lushes in our 20s....still are now. So nothing has changed at all! Except we get less sleep, eat better and are constantly without a social life because we have twin toddlers!

Cheers! Have a drink on us...

Our kids aren't even school age yet and we're already feeling the pain of BACK TO SCHOOL.  Join us as we take the edge off with some delicious cocktails and therapeutic rants.

Listen to our drunken ramblings about our favorite show, American Ninja Warrior. Why we love it, why we want our children to be ninjas and how it ALMOST gets us motivated enough to do some crunches.

Oh, and there's booze...

We compare our lives before kids versus after having kids. Sh*t has changed a bit...

Ever wondered what you'd do if the world was suddenly overrun by zombies? What is your weapon of choice? Do you throw other members in your group to the undead if they're not pulling their weight?

And does anything change if you have your kids with you?

Let's talk about surviving the zombie apocalypse.

If we had a dollar for every dumb f*cking question we get about the twins we would be thousand-aires!

I used to think we drank because we had kids, now I'm starting to  realize its because of the dumb questions.

Enjoy!

Today we talk about the Terrible Twos vs. being a Threenager.

As the twins transition from 2 to 3 we as parents have no idea what the fuck we're getting ourselves into. Except more booze!

This episode we talk about how to not give a f*ck and why it's actually a good thing. Especially if you're parents.

*Side note - There are so many f-bombs in the episode you might want to wear a helmet...you've been warned.

This episode we talk about the recommended amount of sugar your babies, toddlers and kids should be eating. Why they shouldn't eat too much. And we discuss that some foods that may seem healthy might not be.

Oh yeah, and too much sugar makes kids assholes...

As parents there are many different ways to discipline your children. We tried a bunch. And we talk about what worked and what failed for us. #parentingfails #parentingtips

Can you hashtag a podcast? :P

Ever heard the saying "The inmates are running the asylum"? I bet you think in that saying you think you're the warden, or maybe one of the guards? You're wrong! When it comes to being parents, we're ALL INMATES. And on this episode of Whiskey, Wine and Parenting we explore why prison life and toddler life are so similar.

In this episode we talk about organization. More importantly TOY organization and a few dos and don't.  Parents! Come for the topic, stay for the drinks....

On this episode Paige and I talk about losing our house to Hurricane Harvey and how we recovered.

**A Special thanks to all that donated towards our rebuilding!

This week we're talking about sleep, sleep schedules and why sleep is important. You know all those things as adults we completely disregard so we can watch more Netflix?

Tonight we talk about different parenting styles. Are you a Helicopter Parent, a Tiger Mom or a Cersei Lannister?

In this Episode we talk a little about why we started this podcast. Oh...and did I mention Paige is one of the Iron Born? 

Topics:

Why we drink what we drink

French Parenting

The Great Chocolate Conspiracy

The Dog Poop Guy

And Paige reveals the kids are conspiring against us