WifeSavers Podcast

WifeSavers Podcast

By Ramona Zabriskie
Ramona Zabriskie, multi award-winning author, celebrated marriage mentor and global educator, founder of Wife for Life University and the WifeSavers Education Membership, answers real wife questions alongside her husband of 41 years, Dale Zabriskie. Their entertaining conversations about the challenges and intricacies of the marriage relationship are full of actual experience and powerful, proven advice. Thousands of wives in over 70 countries are learning how to better resolve their worries and more lovingly relate to their husbands with thrilling results. Email the show at wifesavers.org
More places to listen

More places to listen

Ep 29: Creating (or Saving!) Your Family Vacation
Are your carefully laid vacation plans falling short of expectations? After hours of research, deal shopping, and blog hopping are your getaway dreams turning into a family-fueled nightmare? How can you facilitate magical memories while keeping spirits high, bellies full, and sanity spared? What should you do when kids are bickering, Honey is snippy, and you are losing patience for your vacation before you even leave the house? Learning to shift your goals and gain a new perspective on the purpose of family getaways can turn inevitable travel trials into treasured memories.   In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “Creating (or Saving!) Your Family Vacation”, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie, and her husband of 40+ years, Dale, share tried and true approaches for keeping your cool on a family getaway.  THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “We took a trip this weekend as a family. Despite all my daily efforts leading up to the trip, there were moments when the kids were fighting, husband was frustrated and harsh and I was anxious as all get out!! How does this happen? Who flipped the switch?!! Is vacation really that disruptive to family life or is it just me? Please help me understand how to keep my WifeSavers foundation when we go on a family vacation!!” Listen and learn why your focus for family travel may need to shift, how to get and keep everyone on the same team, and how to accomplish your goal of treasured family time with a family that loves one another better by the time you’re home again.  Key Points in this podcast: How to shift your focus from pure logistics What to use as a guide and measuring stick for success The way to manage disruption, stress, or chaos in the moment Easy strategy for keeping yourself proactive and positive How to keep relationships on the front burner Specific approach to reflecting and re-setting each day “What a husband and wife conversation should sound like. ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcast listener Related episodes: Ep 27: Getting Him on Board With Best Parenting Practices Ep 14: Dealing with Extended Family Ep 10: How Do I Find Balance? A Woman’s Greatest Challenge Ep 7: Feeling Burnt Out After Too Much Stress Ep 1: Helping Your Husband Bond With the Kids
37:13
June 6, 2019
EP 28: When He’s Overwhelmed by Family Life
What do you do when your husband is too often grouchy or down at home? Is family life falling short of his expectations, or is he falling short of your expectations? Either way, it's challenging to your marriage, and to his relationship with the children. You want to share the joys of marriage with him but how can you be positive enough for both of you? How can you see things from his perspective when his struggle stokes your own worries? In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “When Family Life Overwhelms Him”, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie, and her husband of 40+ years, Dale, answer a wife who is tired of trying to cope with her husband’s negativity within the family.   THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “My husband has been struggling off & on with depression and anxiety. He is angry much of the time and struggles to cope with our kids as they overwhelm him. I find it exhausting to be constantly challenging the story he tells himself. This just makes parenting more difficult and it makes marriage hard for me. I would love any advice you might have!” Listen and learn why your husband may be feeling anxious and depressed, why this naturally affects family life, and how to help him regain a sense of control, balance, and energy. Key Points in this podcast: Your dissimilar approaches to managing pain/emotion How parenthood may be affecting him  Possible causes for your anxiety over his anxiety 5 ubiquitous male drives that underpin male fears 4 “male masks” used to hide or postpone experiencing emotion 5 common “male” fears that are stirred up by family life Strategy for helping him regain a sense of balance, control, and energy “I love listening to both Ramona and Dale interact and laugh with each other - it just makes me happy! Their podcasts model respectful and joyful interactions in marriage and reminds me to laugh more often, especially with my husband. ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcast listener Related episodes: Ep 27: Getting Him on Board With Best Parenting Practices Ep 22: Finding and Pursuing His Quest Ep 16: His Criticism Hurts: What to do When Your Husband is Unkind or Unfair Ep 1: Helping Your Husband Bond With the Kids
57:04
May 23, 2019
Ep 27: Getting Him on Board With Best Parenting Practices
What do you do when your husband is counteracting your parenting style or you’re counteracting his? Especially in the heat of the moment? And how do you get him interested and enthused about your latest and greatest approaches to teaching or disciplining the kids? You want to be able to trust him as a father, but how can you when the two of you are not on the same page? Working as a parenting-team is critical to not only the kids’ upbringing but to the success of your marriage.   In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “Getting Him On Board With Best Parenting Practices”, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie, and her husband of 40+ years, Dale, answer a wife who is struggling to convince her husband that there’s a better way to parent their child.   THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “I've started employing a new parenting method which is in contrast to my husband's and I see my child responding beautifully to it. However, it'll take time for her meltdowns to reduce significantly. What should I do to get my husband to employ these positive parenting principles?”  Listen and learn how to help your husband (and yourself!) feel more open-minded about different parenting styles and how to help him actually engage with you in an approach to parenting you can both feel good about.  Key Points in this podcast:  - Why raising the kids in a unified style is important to her  - Possible causes for his apathy or antipathy to her approach or suggestions  - The problems that are caused when you disagree about parenting  - Seven common differences between mother/father approaches   - Four critical things to avoid when you’re recruiting his interest and involvement   - Four key things to do that will help inspire his enthusiasm and willingness  “Ramona and Dale’s adorable witty banter back and forth puts a smile on my face! I love their positivity and vulnerability. They give amazing tips from both sides of a relationship and I’m loving applying their tips to my marriage! ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcast listener  Related episodes:  Ep 25: He Doesn’t Really Listen: How to Communicate So He’ll Care  Ep 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What To Do When You Don’t  Ep 1: Helping Your Husband Bond With the Kids
54:46
May 1, 2019
Ep 26: When He’s Traveling For Business
Are you dreading or resenting your spouse’s next business trip because it’ll be up to you to hold down the fort? Without a partner’s on-the-ground practical and emotional support, personal and family life can become overwhelming. Logistical complications as well as emotional and physical stresses take a toll on both husband and wife. You’d really just like to be together and get (or give!) help, reassurance, and hugs when they are needed most.  In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “When He’s Traveling For Business”, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her traveling husband, Dale, answer a wife who is seriously worried about her spouse’s obligation to be away from home for work.  THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “My husband is preparing to be several states away from home for two-week intervals (home for two, away for two) for the next 36 weeks. I’m not at all looking forward to this. When he talks about it I feel ‘walls’ blocking my thoughts, and all I know is how I feel about it.” Listen and learn how to manage your road warrior’s absence in a way that will tone down the stress, spare your heart, and bring out the best in your relationship. Key Points in this podcast: - Appreciating your unique stresses while he’s away  - Recognizing the pressures on him - How to set up “safety nets” to protect you both - Ways to involve him in family life despite his absence - Strategies for keeping your relationship vibrant and relevant - Strengthening your healthy independence - How to make the most of your reunions - The costs, benefits, and strategies of traveling together when possible "I have really loved this podcast. The advice is top-notch but the best part is the humor and discussion back and forth between Ramona and Dale. I feel like they are the encouraging- parents and good example we all wish we had! ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcasts listener Related episodes: - Episode 21: Romance and Desire That Last - Episode 18: To Transform Your Marriage in 2019, Focus on This - Episode 10: How Do I Find Balance? A Woman’s Greatest Challenge - Episode 8: Do You Believe in Him? How To Show Him and Why You Want To  
59:10
April 11, 2019
Ep 25: He Doesn’t Listen: How to Communicate So He’ll Care
Everyone knows that a successful marriage depends in large part on how well a couple communicates with each other. What should be natural, easy conversation can become discouraging or frustrating though when a wife feels that her husband isn’t really paying attention to what she has to say. If this becomes a pattern of interrelating, she may assume the worst about him and the relationship.   In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “He Doesn’t Listen”, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is frustrated with her husband’s lack of engagement when she’s trying to talk with him.   THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “I would say one of the biggest struggles we have is communication. Sometimes I feel like it’s difficult for us to talk about the simplest things. It gets very tiresome to me because I don’t even feel like I can make a suggestion or offer my opinion because, he doesn’t really listen. Or he starts to listen and then after a while he’ll check out or tune out. I’m definitely looking for better communication skills.” Listen and learn the potential real reasons behind a husband’s distant demeanor, and how to improve your communication style so that he’s more likely to listen up! Key Points in this podcast: - The difference between casual and active listening - Her POV: Five possible reasons you may think he’s not listening - His POV: Eight explanations that are closer to the truth of it - How your expectations and his attempts to listen get out of alignment - Six strategies for optimizing his willingness to listen and engage - How his listening skills can improve and mature as yours do Related episodes: - Episode 18: To Transform Your Marriage in 2019: Focus on This - Episode 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What To Do When You Don’t - Episode 11: Turning Negative Communication With Your Husband to the Positive "Great ideas you can easily implement. It’s a fun listen too! ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcasts listener
48:14
March 26, 2019
Ep 24: Tech and Relationships Part 2: Husband and Kids
The fun and functionality of our screens are creating a seamless interaction between us (the users) and the greater world. There’s a lot of good in that. But there’s also a lot to be aware of and concerned about. Are you or your husband and children becoming hyper-stimulated by virtual activity and in the process, becoming desensitized to one another? When parents and kids, husbands and wives, choose to immerse themselves in their devices instead of in one another, they’re experiencing what is aptly called “the great divide”.In the conclusion to this two-part series, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, complete their answer to a wife who is feeling increasingly estranged and neglected by a husband absorbed in his mobile devices and gaming. THROW ME A WIFESAVER: How do the kids and I become more interesting than his cell phone? And what to do about hubby's video gaming in the evening downstairs when I want to spend time with him (especially a war game)? Listen and learn how to get your spouse and kids to work together to create, and then support, a family tech and media plan. Key Points in this podcast: How a couple and a family can collaborate on solutions Eight questions that will get the family thinking and talking Five sample family media standards Six sample family technology standards Tactical musts to support personal and family cybersecurity Tactical options to help protect your relationships and maintain the family plan Five steps to proactively counter the negative aspects of today’s domineering media and online culture Related episodes:  Episode 23: Tech and Relationships Part 1: You Episode 18: To Transform Your Marriage in 2019: Focus on This Episode 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What To Do When You Don’t "Ramona and Dale’s WifeSavers podcasts are so delightful, humorous, and full of golden information! ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcasts listener
52:45
March 11, 2019
Ep 23: Tech and Relationships Part 1: You
How has technology impacted your most important relationships? With all our compulsive “connecting”, many of us are actually “disconnecting” from the loved ones that are present, the ones who are depending on us in so many ways to “be there” for them. How do we embrace technology without losing ourselves or our closest relationships in the matrix? Multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is feeling increasingly estranged and neglected by a husband absorbed in his mobile devices and gaming. THROW ME A WIFESAVER: How do the kids and I become more interesting than his cell phone? And what to do about hubby's video gaming in the evening downstairs when I want to spend time with him (especially a war game)? Listen and learn how a wife and mother can help manage and prioritize the health and well-being of herself, her marriage, and her family in a hyperconnected, tech-mediated world. Part one of a two-part series. . Key Points in this podcast: - The “threats” posed to families by the overuse or misuse of technology - Eight technology-induced addictions - Six questions to help determine if there is an addiction at play - Four uses of technology to evaluate your own dependence by - Recognizing and avoiding technological narcissism - The science behind our digital impulsiveness - A simple way to determine whether to engage with tech or the people present in any given moment Related episodes:  Episode 18: To Transform Your Marriage in 2019: Focus on This Episode 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What To Do When You Don’t "Full of experiences and wonderful advice that inspires me to become a better wife, which in return makes him a better husband. ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcasts listener
53:52
February 28, 2019
Ep 22: Finding and Pursuing His Quest
Most men, once married, know they need to fill their pockets with more than love; they need to do something; to be somebody. He may be so focused and driven that he leaves the family in the dust. On the other hand, his career path may be more of a meandering stroll than a focused climb. Maybe he's too discouraged or too comfortable with the status quo? Or does it seem that one-too-many opportunities have passed him by? Multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, explain how most men view their “work” or their quest for “a work” in a way that answers a wife who is baffled and even frightened by her husband’s direction in life.  Throw Me a WifeSaver: “I don’t know what my husband’s quest is because I don’t think he knows, either. That’s a HUGE frustration in our marriage and it’s becoming a big problem. Any advice?” Listen and learn how a worthy “quest” is defined for a man: a fulfilling dream, a rewarding pursuit that will help him mature into his best, most courageous, most loving self for the sake of the whole family. Key Points: - How a man’s work is related to his identity and self-respect - Myths about achievement and career development - The weighty considerations in a man’s mind regarding his work choice - How to be a help in the process without creating stress - The definition of a “quest” - The single most important consideration in settling on a direction - The four attributes of a worthy and effective “quest” Related episodes: Episode 8: Do You Believe in Him? How to Show Him and Why You Want To Episode 9: How to Help Your Man When He’s Unsatisfied at Work "These podcasts are life-changing! Absolutely love them. So inspiring! ✭✭✭✭✭” 
50:03
February 13, 2019
Ep 21: Romance and Desire That Last
Feeling desired, even “wooed”, is the romantic high that that poetry, film, literature, and music have prepped women for all their lives. But how realistic is it to expect the passion, mystery, and excitement to continue throughout a lifelong marriage? Is it possible to create on-demand at any age or any stage?  Multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is longing for days past when she felt that her husband was more drawn and devoted to her.  Throw Me a WifeSaver: “My husband was INCREDIBLE with me for so long...he was doting on me, loving on me, encouraging me. Now I don't feel that way, and I don't know how to fix it. What can I do? How do I bring romance back into my marriage?” Listen and learn how to re-ignite and sustain the amorous fun and fascination you used to feel in your relationship! The answers are more doable than cynics might think and more down-to-earth than romantics might expect! Key Points: - Why “romance” is important to women - Our two great needs at odds in the quest for romance - How today’s expectations of marriage differ from the past - The definition of love vs. desire and why we want both - 3 dynamics that make us desire, or feel drawn toward, our spouse - 6 challenges that will bust complacency and cultivate excitement
 "I love listening to the dynamic between Ramona and Dale and hope that my husband and I will be like them in 30 years!" ✭✭✭✭✭ iTunes/Apple listener
49:31
February 7, 2019
Ep 20: It's Not Fair! (but who's keeping score?)
Life often feels unfair, especially at home, where every member of the family absolutely depends on every other member doing their part. When a husband or wife, in particular, is lacking or slacking, the other spouse can feel undue pressure. The result is frustration, overwhelm, and resentment. Multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is exasperated with her husband for not carrying his fair share of family life.  Throw Me a WifeSaver: “I'm having a hard time changing my thinking to be super appreciative of my husband's (lack of) help around the house and kids...He is a good man but boy did he get lucky with me. I do SO MUCH that it's downright not fair. Do you have a mantra for me as I work through this?” Listen and learn how to relieve the pressure on yourself and your marriage by incorporating a whole new approach to “fairness” in family life. Key Points: - Why “fairness” feels so important to us - How a “matcher mentality” affects personal relationships - 3 different ways to look at “fairness” in family life - How to evaluate the effectiveness of your personal approach and philosophy - 3 key skills or attitudes needed to achieve optimal “fairness” - Examples of how to work together more effectively as a couple and family
44:17
January 24, 2019
Ep 19: Wars Over Chores: Recruiting His Help With the Housework
 Who does the bulk of the housework in your house? Maintaining a home and managing a family is a big job optimally shared by all family members, including husband and wife. But what if your kids or husband don’t see it that way? How do you motivate them to help out, and to do it willingly and well?  In this episode, multi-award-winning author and global marriage educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is feeling exasperated in her attempts to get her husband and sons more involved in the everyday care and operations of the house. Throw Me a WifeSaver: “No matter my approach, I wake up most days wondering how and when I opened a bed and breakfast. While I truly and deeply love them and sincerely seek out ways to serve and honor my husband and family, I also need them to be contributing members. Any attempts I have tried to discuss this with my husband has failed miserably. How do I encourage my husband to contribute? How do I serve my husband and boys joyfully without creating the illusion that they are not expected to do their part in the family?”  Listen and learn how you can most effectively persuade your children to do their chores and your spouse to take on more responsibility in the home. Key Topics:  - How you may be micromanaging and how it affects the family - How spouses might perceive “home” differently - The attitude that will change the environment in your home - A specific approach to helping your kids “own” their chores and want to improve at them - What your husband wants and needs from you regarding his help  - “The Language of Respect”: a highly effective strategy for recruiting your husband’s help in a way that he will appreciate and be motivated by 
39:58
January 11, 2019
Ep 18: To Transform Your Marriage in 2019, Focus on This
  Looking for a New Years resolution that will improve your relationship? How about one that won’t bog down your “to-do” list; one that’s so simple, it’ll take only a few seconds here and there. That’s right, no matter what state your marriage is in, this concise, uncomplicated approach will not only immediately impact your feelings toward each other, but will also have major long-term repercussions for the positive. In this episode, multi-award-winning author and global marriage educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who, in her quest to improve her marriage, is curious to know where best to focus her limited time and energy. Throw Me a WifeSaver: “What are some examples of things we can do with my time to improve my relationship with my husband? Would you recommend it be time spent with him or is time spend doing acts of service for him?” Listen and learn what wives and husbands should focus most on if they want their relationship to thrive for a lifetime. Key Topics: - The magic in marriage researcher’s John Gottman’s “5 Magic Hours” - Simple daily and weekly rituals used by couples in thriving marriages - Why minor instantaneous interactions are so consequential -The scientifically proven #1 most effective thing you can do for your r relationship - Real examples of how to apply that approach - A 3-second 3-question way to decide whether or not to use your smartphone in a given moment when you’re with your spouse  - How your marriage can actually increase your time and energy Free ebook: 5 Lies We Tell Brides and 5 Truths That Save Wives Learn more about the WifeSavers Education Membership
37:51
January 3, 2019
Ep 17: Forgiveness in Marriage
Feeling frustrated and disappointed in your husband? Are his mistakes and shortcomings piling up? Or are you feeling bad about your own choices and behaviors? Everyone knows that saying or hearing “I’m sorry” can help, but actually extending or requesting real and lasting forgiveness is often the greatest challenge in marriage. In this episode, multi-award-winning author and global marriage educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, talk about how to get through or past ordinary or common offenses that have caused pain in your marriage. Throw Me a WifeSaver: “Can you talk more about forgiveness?” Listen and glean new insights into how forgiveness actually works and why it is worth the effort. Key Topics: - The signs and the downfalls of victimization - The “advantages” to feeling “put upon” - How focusing on vindication affects other relationships - The psychological, physiological impact of victimization - The 5 steps to replacing “put upon” with “powerful” - What “everyday forgiveness” encompasses - The  4 things forgiveness is not - How the “how” of forgiveness is in the “why” - The 3 popular “why’s” that don’t work and the only “why” that does - A powerful statement to use that expresses forgiveness precisely - The 3 steps or stages in restoring the relationship - The only truly effective way to request forgiveness - How forgiveness is possible and worth it
55:46
December 26, 2018
Ep 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What to Do When You Don’t
Is there an issue in your family or marriage that the two of just can’t see to agree on? One that you both feel strongly about? How will you ever get on the same page? In this episode, multi-award-winning author and global marriage educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who would like to resolve a real concern with her husband but is reticent to bring it up because she knows he’ll disagree with her. Throw Me a WifeSaver: “What is the best way to have a conversation with my husband to try to work on and come to a compromise on a big issue on which we do not see eye to eye?” Listen and learn how the two of you can productively navigate your way through the difficult conversations that focus on red-button issues. Key Topics: - How the “big” issues differ from natural, everyday conflict - The specific approach proven by researchers to be the most effective - Your top three objectives during a critical conversation
- How to avoid taking responsibility for your partner’s emotion - Ways to down-regulate defensiveness - The 6 conversational stages that will guide you to a constructive conclusion
- A natural, simplified approach to accomplishing those stages - The hosts’ model of a conversation on a critical issue in their own marriage - The real purpose of the exercise or how to measure success

56:35
December 14, 2018
Ep 15: The Mother-in-Law Relationship and How to Make It Better
What kind of relationship do you have with your mother-in-law? Is she a source of support for you and your family? Or of aggravation? How do the two of you go from feeling polite, distant, or competitive to warmth and friendship? In this episode, multi-award-winning author and global marriage mentor and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, tackle this uniquely sensitive relationship in answering a wife who is unsure how to approach her husband’s mother, a woman she has a hard time being around, let alone connecting with. Throw Me a WifeSaver! “The holidays are upon us and I would love to hear any wisdom you have with regard to dealing with mothers-in-law. We’ve been married for almost six years and this topic has come up many times in the past and has often created quite a big wedge between us in our marriage. I recognize that she doesn’t intend to hurt my feelings, but I need to develop some conflict strategies to learn how to deal with her. I’m more than open to any advice here.” Listen and learn how to create (or improve upon!) a pleasant, productive relationship with your mother-in-law. Key Topics: - Why this important relationship is worth the investment - The specific fear that interferes in this relationship between women - How the relationship may be impacted by stereotypes - Understanding better her probable intentions and real desires - Which of you bears the responsibility for improving things - The three stages mothers and daughters-in-law must progress through and how - Real examples of relationships that grew past misunderstanding and tension - The three mantras that can change everything
59:09
December 5, 2018
Ep 14: Dealing With Extended Family (especially through the holidays!)
Do you ever struggle in your relationships with his family, or his with yours? Extended family dynamics can be tricky, especially during the intense togetherness and expectations that are often part of the holidays. In this episode, multi award-winning author and global marriage mentor and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, speak from their 40+ years of experience in answering a wife who is worried about navigating upcoming decisions about, and encounters with, extended family. This Week’s Question: “What if my husband and I have different ideas about what makes the perfect Christmas? My husband wants to stay home with just us and the children, and I want to be with all my extended family, and we go through this every year.” Listen and learn how to plot a course and steer your husband and children through any extended family gathering so they feel content and secure throughout, and happy with the experience at the end. Key Topics: - Compromise vs. Accommodating any time of year - 
Understanding his POV about your family and holiday wishes
 - What you should do first before discussing plans with your husband 
- The three things to prioritize when spending time with extended family during the holidays - 
Seven strategies for managing and making the best of time with extended family as a couple
53:10
November 28, 2018
Ep 13: He Never Says Thank You: How to Get (and Give) More Appreciation
Do you feel UN (or under!) appreciated? Does your husband seem impassive, unaware, or inconsistent in his notice of all you are and all you do?  Disappointment, disconnect, or disrespect is often the direct result of feeling taken for granted. In this episode, Ramona and Dale answer a wife who knows her relationship and her family could be improved by more frequent expressions of thankfulness, but who doesn’t know how to motivate or inspire her husband to comprehend the obvious: she and the family need and deserve his appreciation. Listen and learn how to create a culture of gratitude in your marriage. Today’s WifeSavers Question: “My husband and I are having difficult times because our relationship is missing this important phrase: thank you. How I can I help my husband practice this more? Thank you!” Key Topics: - Why hearing “thank you” is so important to a woman
 - The common ways spouses fail to appreciate one another 
 - How “appreciation” is different than saying “thank you”
 - Detecting his nonverbal demonstrations of appreciation
 - How to ask for more verbal expressions
 - The impact of her appreciation on him
 - He wants her appreciation for this one thing most of all
 - Creating a culture beyond “thank you” and “appreciation”
58:22
November 21, 2018
Ep 12: His Criticism Hurts: What To Do When Your Husband is Unkind or Unfair
Ever feel that your husband is too quick to express his disapproval, to point out your “mistakes”? Is his occasional or even chronic negativity towards you hurting the relationship? Ramona and Dale answer a wife who suffers from a sense of bewilderment and betrayal every time her husband focuses on (what he perceives to be) her shortcomings. Listen and learn how a woman can negate or arrest his negativity by effectively discerning between—and optimally responding to—different types of criticism. Today’s WifeSavers Question: “I often feel I am unappreciated and unfairly criticized by my spouse. When I have tried my best, and things are running smoothly in the household, I am still not measuring up in my husband's eyes. I know this because of what he says. Help.” Key Topics: - The three fears his criticism excites in her - How his criticism violates three of her most essential needs or desires - How to discern between the three types of criticism - Ways she can respond effectively to each type of criticism, including exact phrases - Understanding and managing toxic or chronic criticism - The six behaviors to avoid when addressing or responding to his criticism - Defining different forms of abuse - Ten WifeSavers principles to keep in mind as she speaks her mind
1:13:24
November 14, 2018
Ep 11: Turning Negative Communication With Your Husband to the Positive
Discouraged and frustrated by communications with your husband that leave both of you feeling miserable? It may be that your what you are saying is being heard very differently than you intend. Ramona and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who doesn’t mean to come across as negative and unloving but is afraid that’s exactly how she’s being received. Listen and learn how with a few tweaks in approach and wording a wife can completely alter the outcome of almost any conversation with her husband to the positive. Today’s WifeSavers Question: “Sometimes when I respond negatively to things with my husband, I know right away that I've gone about it all wrong. I definitely don't want to handle things in an unloving way it just seems to come out in a burst of emotions sometimes before I even know how to package it in a more positive way. Any suggestions?” Key Topics: - Why his perceptions may be formed or based on the words and phrases you are using - Identifying seven characteristics of negative language that you may be unaware of - What actual messages you may be sending inadvertently - Mindset or paradigm shifts that will undergird permanent changes in your communication style - Three simple but powerful linguistic approaches that will lessen confusion and leave you both feeling better
49:44
November 7, 2018
Ep 10: How Do I Find Balance? A Woman’s Greatest Challenge
Do you feel like the hub of a wheel and all the spokes are squeaking? Everyone and everything seems to need you right now, which means someone or something is being neglected: YOU especially. What would it take to feel more "balanced"? Ramona and her husband Dale answer a wife who is wearing out; spread so thin between competing responsibilities and relationships, she's afraid no one is getting "enough". Today’s WifeSavers Question: “I find that often I just run out of time and energy to focus on anything. What can I do to help this problem lessen? How do I find balance?" Listen and learn why a woman gets so easily "out of balance" and how she can realign herself and her relationships so that everyone feels more steady and satisfied. Key Topics: - The inherent gifts of womanhood that make her susceptible to overdoing
 - False perceptions or definitions of "balance" that fuel frustration
 - The exhausting struggle between a woman's two great needs or desires
 - How an inner "hierarchy" can guide her choices 
 - What "responding" and "romancing" have to do with restoring balance
 - Why a husband is uniquely positioned to help her balance
54:15
October 31, 2018
Ep 9: How to Help Your Man When He's Unsatisfied at Work
Has your man felt stalemated, unmotivated, or rudderless in his career? Have you seen him act depressed or anxious about his current job? Ramona and Dale, who have been there, answer a wife who is very worried for her husband because he’s so unhappy at work and because the strain is affecting their marriage. Today’s WifeSavers Question: “My husband has been at a point for a while where he is unsatisfied with his job, but he doesn't have any clue what to do. Lately, it seems like he's become another person. He goes to work, comes home, and his time is mostly spent on his computer or his phone. I’m drowning in worry, fears, and insecurities. I feel like he's slipping further and further away. I’m afraid I'm not doing good enough as his wife and it's hard for me to keep control of my emotions. Help!” Listen and learn what’s really going on inside for both of them and what a wife can do to help her husband out of the doldrums and moving towards his dreams again. Key Topics: - Where his anxiety and depression may be coming from - Why he is withdrawing from her - How the male brain deals with stress and emotion - Why his behavior triggers worry and fear in her - The potential impact of her understanding and involvement - Four ways to get him energized and moving towards his dreams
50:55
October 16, 2018
Ep 8: Do You Believe in Him? How to Show Him and Why You Want To
Is your husband depressed, distant, aggravated, demoralized? It may be that he’s unsure you really trust or have faith in him. Ramona and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who has just discovered her husband has silently felt unsupported for years, and she’s eager to repair the damage. Listen and learn how a wife can restore her faith in her man and rekindle his love for her.   Today’s WifeSavers Question: “I discovered during a conference that my husband and I are attending, the thing my husband resents about me more than anything else...His notes read: "I forgive her for not believing in me." I need to understand how better to show that I believe in him. Where to start?” Key Topics: - What she may  be doing inadvertently, that says to him that she doesn’t believe - The six questions she has to answer to restore her faith in him - What attitude will restore his trust in her - The actions that will best demonstrate her belief in him - The promising prognosis for their marriage
46:01
October 9, 2018
Ep 7: Feeling Burnt Out After Too Much Stress
Ramona and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who in the aftermath of excessive and prolonged stress, is feeling used up and burnt out. Listen and learn how a woman can bring healthy energy back into her life without costly vacations, elaborate strategies, or wearing out loved ones in the process. Today’s WifeSavers Question: “I feel like the aloe plant that's been forgotten on the porch...Sometimes I wonder if all the care & attention in the world will be enough to resurrect that poor aloe/me!” Key Topics: • Why the search for happiness may be the wrong approach • Easy adaptions to bring joy into her life • The consequences of a women’s non-stop thinking and activity • Why we need regular doses of time alone and time with other women • What a husband can do to help, and the advantages to him • Approaches to self-education to restore worth and mental health • Approaches to finding new perspective through “inspiration” • The Key to avoiding depletion
52:36
September 26, 2018
Ep 6: We Have Little in Common: Creating Connection Despite Your Differences
In this episode, Ramona and Dale answer a wife who is struggling to connect with her man who she feels is her “opposite." Learn how a couple can find, create, or build intimacy despite different interests and approaches to life. Today’s Question: “We have very different personalities and our perspectives are exact opposite based on our experiences… I have wondered is there a point to continue with not much in common? How do I remedy this?” Key Topics: - Why feeling disconnected is a crisis that needs addressing - What a wife and husband could be “forgetting” or misunderstanding - Whether or not “having similarities” will solve their problems - The two actions will have the most impact on her feelings towards him - The optimal use of time to foster connection - The “circle” exercise to discovering or creating common interests - How to become involved in each other’s sphere of interests - The truth behind the premise that having nothing in common means you’re not compatible
43:09
September 19, 2018
Ep 5: Too Controlling? Changing the Boss Lady In You
Ramona and Dale answer a wife who can’t seem to help coming across as controlling. Learn why a woman may fall prey to this way of interrelating and how only slight modifications to her attitudes and communication style can improve her relationships. Today’s WifeSavers Question: “I’ve been bossy my whole life. I feel like nothing would ever happen unless I ‘push’ a little. I don’t like that about myself, but it’s like I can’t turn it off. How do I stop it?!” Key Topics: - How contemporary feminism has affected women’s attitudes towards assertiveness - How “bossing” is different from effective, assertive leadership and communication - Some reasons, causes, or triggers of “bossy” behavior - How a husband may feel toward her “boss lady” approach - Why some women find “switching gears” between different roles difficult - Four great solutions for “breaking” the habit if it’s hindering or hurting her relationships
44:14
September 11, 2018
Ep 4: Your Physical Relationship During Pregnancy
In this episode, Ramona and her husband, Dale, answer a wife, who late in pregnancy, is struggling in her physical relationship with her husband. Learn what unique dynamics are in play at this stage of family life and how taking them into account and making adjustments can help a wife strengthen her marriage. Today’s WifeSavers Question: “I’m now 37 weeks pregnant and feel completely unattractive. But just because my body is busy doing one thing doesn't mean the rest of me still doesn't want to be wanted. What should I do?” Key Topics: - How becoming parents impacts your sexual relationship - The importance of maintaining healthy, physical intimacy through all stages of family life - Adjustments that have to made to your physical relationship during pregnancy and newborn stage - Common mental blocks and stresses during this period - Realistic expectations and time tables for physical intimacy before and after delivery - The impact of body image or how she feels about her own body as
26:55
August 7, 2018
Ep 3: Wanting Him to Say “I love you” More Often
In this episode, Ramona and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is longing for more verbal affirmation and expressions of love from her husband. Learn how a wife can ask for, inspire, recognize, and receive his expressions of love. Today’s WifeSavers Question: “My husband rarely says I love you. I can’t even remember the last time. I hate always being the first one to say it, like I’m prompting him. What can I do?” Key Topics: - How and why he expresses his feelings differently from her - What affect her discontent is having on him - How personality and family background affect his communication - Ways to encourage him positively to meet her need - The most effective and productive perspective on the situation - How to lessen the irritation and disappointment she feels
26:32
August 7, 2018
Ep 2: Getting Your Husband to Prioritize Your Needs Too
In this episode, Ramona and her husband, Dale, answer a wife whose husband is so swamped with his work and education, her needs are at the bottom of his list. Learn how a wife can peacefully and productively recruit her husband’s help and support without manipulating, pressuring, or nagging. Today’s WifeSavers Question: "What I'm wondering is, how do I help my husband see that my needs and wants need to be a priority to him too?" Key Topics: - Becoming aware of and having confidence in her own needs - Why he may appear unaware or uncaring - Strategy for articulating her needs - What he needs from you in order to succeed with her - The benefits to him of working with her to meet her needs - Whether or not to prioritize “our” needs over “my” needs - How to motivate him to want to continue to help and please her - What her patience and steady efforts over time will yield in their relationship
36:57
August 7, 2018
Ep 1: Helping Your Husband Bond With the Kids
Nowhere to turn with your marriage quandaries? In the WifeSavers podcast, multi award-winning author and marriage educator, Ramona Zabriskie, helps women fix personal and family frustrations by answering real-wife questions. Send yours to Ramona at wifesavers.org or @WifeSavers on Instagram, then listen in! Today’s WifeSavers Question: “What are some strategies for helping my husband build a relationship with our kids? He loves them and understands the importance of relationship with them but doesn’t really know how to go about it.” Key Topics: - Strategies for husbands to build relationships with their kids - Facilitating one on one time with kids - Differences in parenting styles - Maternal vs paternal approaches to parenting - Facilitating family activities - Establishing a foundational relationship between husband and wife - Respecting dad’s need for down time
45:00
August 2, 2018
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