Name: Amy

Reading: The Shame, Makenna Goodman

Why did you want to read this? 'The weight of motherhood is a backpack full of stones.' This book messed me up -- but in a good way. I first read it very shortly postpartum. It felt like such consolation, after all the sentimentality and raw emotion of feeling motherhood suddenly happen to my own life, to read this wild, complicated book about a mother who loves her children entirely, and is entirely complicated, disappointed, competent, and failing, all at once. I'm obsessed with the idea of failure within ordinary committed motherhood, and in some ways that feels like the thesis of this book. It felt like it was written in a voice related to mine. Not the same, but recognizable to me. Like being accompanied -- that's a big thing.

How did you record yourself? I recorded sitting in our 'cozy corner' where my toddler and I look at his Richard Scarry and lift-the-flap books every day. It's a big floor pillow under our front window, with lots of extra pillows -- one big and round like the moon. The best light in the house. I had a cup of coffee that quickly grew cold because I didn't want to take breaks to sip it. My toddler is at the Children's Museum with my mom. Just me and the dog in the house, so quiet. I hadn't read this chapter in a while -- reading it aloud was a treat.

Content warning: this episode contains reference to sexual assault.

Ellen reads Maggie Nelson

women readBy Freya & MelNov 10, 2021