WTF News
By Jess & Alyssa
Just two unemployed journalists trying to make people laugh with the strangest, most outlandish news we can find. Welcome to WTF News.
WTF NewsAug 06, 2018
00:00
30:15
Man Crashes Car Because He Has To Take A Sh*t
In this week's weird news, Jess and Alyssa talk about infamous mayonnaise ice cream, two 70-year-olds fighting in a Costco, and a stolen shark in a baby stroller.
This week we asked our listeners: Would you rather eat a gallon of mayo ice cream or fight a 70-year-old for cheese?
Let us know on Twitter @WhatTheFCKnews
Insta @WhatTheFCKnews
E-mail us too! WhatTheFCKnews@gmail.com
LINKS:
Yes, Hellman’s has frozen over. Mayonnaise Ice Cream is Here goo.gl/jBC1CV
The samples at Costco were free. Two men in their 70s got into a fight over them, SC police say
www.thestate.com/news/local/crime/article215857825.html
They stole a shark in a baby stroller and briefly got away with it www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2018/07/31/us/stolen-shark-aquarium-san-antonio.amp.html
Man crashes into house, says he had to poop kimatv.com/news/local/man-crashes-into-house-says-he-had-to-poop
This week we asked our listeners: Would you rather eat a gallon of mayo ice cream or fight a 70-year-old for cheese?
Let us know on Twitter @WhatTheFCKnews
Insta @WhatTheFCKnews
E-mail us too! WhatTheFCKnews@gmail.com
LINKS:
Yes, Hellman’s has frozen over. Mayonnaise Ice Cream is Here goo.gl/jBC1CV
The samples at Costco were free. Two men in their 70s got into a fight over them, SC police say
www.thestate.com/news/local/crime/article215857825.html
They stole a shark in a baby stroller and briefly got away with it www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2018/07/31/us/stolen-shark-aquarium-san-antonio.amp.html
Man crashes into house, says he had to poop kimatv.com/news/local/man-crashes-into-house-says-he-had-to-poop
Aug 06, 201830:15
F*ckbois Making Headlines
In this week's weird news, Jess and Alyssa talk about a man who stole his date's car to go on a another date, a burglar with an underwear mask, and a sore loser who called 911 because of a foul play.
This week we asked our viewers: Would you rather your date steal your car or go on a date and find out they're, *ahem* into horses?
Let us know on Twitter @WhatTheFCKnews
Insta @WhatTheFCKnews
E-mail us too! WhatTheFCKnews@gmail.com
LINKS:
Man steals date’s car, then uses it for another date wreg.com/2018/07/17/man-steals-dates-car-then-uses-it-for-another-date/
Pervert, 31, who broke into a stable to have sex with a horse says the animal gave him consent - because she winked at him www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5964819/Man-claims-horse-gave-consent-sex-WINKING-him.html
A basketball player called a foul — in to 911 goo.gl/DTEx5P
Burglar with boxer briefs on head being sought by Texas police goo.gl/cE7gGn
This week we asked our viewers: Would you rather your date steal your car or go on a date and find out they're, *ahem* into horses?
Let us know on Twitter @WhatTheFCKnews
Insta @WhatTheFCKnews
E-mail us too! WhatTheFCKnews@gmail.com
LINKS:
Man steals date’s car, then uses it for another date wreg.com/2018/07/17/man-steals-dates-car-then-uses-it-for-another-date/
Pervert, 31, who broke into a stable to have sex with a horse says the animal gave him consent - because she winked at him www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5964819/Man-claims-horse-gave-consent-sex-WINKING-him.html
A basketball player called a foul — in to 911 goo.gl/DTEx5P
Burglar with boxer briefs on head being sought by Texas police goo.gl/cE7gGn
Jul 30, 201831:46
THIS WOMAN PUT 82 GRAMS OF DRUGS UP HER VAGINA
In this week's weird news, Jess and Alyssa talk about a professor who asked for dick pics, a pilot who chose his vape over his career and some mischievous beavers who ate Paul Ryan's car.
This week we asked our viewers: Would you rather receive 36,000 dick pics or shove 82g of drugs up your body?
Let us know on Twitter @WhatTheFCKnews
Insta @WhatTheFCKnews
E-mail us too! WhatTheFCKnews@gmail.com
Links: Professor Wants Pictures of Penises — For science nypost.com/2018/06/26/professor-wants-pictures-of-penises-for-science/
Vaping co-pilot caused Air China plane to plummet, officials say goo.gl/HQ3Zxg
Police Find 82 Grams Of Drugs In Wisconsin Woman’s Vagina www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/desiree-webster-vagina-smuggler_us_5b43e393e4b0c523e261d67f
A Family Of Woodchucks Ate Paul Ryan's Car www.npr.org/2018/07/12/628515994/a-family-of-woodchucks-ate-paul-ryans-car
This week we asked our viewers: Would you rather receive 36,000 dick pics or shove 82g of drugs up your body?
Let us know on Twitter @WhatTheFCKnews
Insta @WhatTheFCKnews
E-mail us too! WhatTheFCKnews@gmail.com
Links: Professor Wants Pictures of Penises — For science nypost.com/2018/06/26/professor-wants-pictures-of-penises-for-science/
Vaping co-pilot caused Air China plane to plummet, officials say goo.gl/HQ3Zxg
Police Find 82 Grams Of Drugs In Wisconsin Woman’s Vagina www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/desiree-webster-vagina-smuggler_us_5b43e393e4b0c523e261d67f
A Family Of Woodchucks Ate Paul Ryan's Car www.npr.org/2018/07/12/628515994/a-family-of-woodchucks-ate-paul-ryans-car
Jul 23, 201836:30
THIS SNAPPING TURTLE ATE A PUPPY?
In this episode, Jess and Alyssa talk about terrifying reptile stories, a bitter divorcee's smelly revenge & a restaurant's popular promotion gone wrong.
We also ask out listeners: would you rather watch a person get eaten by a snake or watch a puppy get eaten by a snapping turtle?
Let us know on Twitter @WhatTheFCKnews
Insta @WhatTheFCKnews
E-mail us too! WhatTheFCKnews@gmail.com
Links: US teacher 'who fed sick puppy to snapping turtle' charged- https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/world-us-canada-44344859
How This 23-Foot Python Swallowed a Man Whole-
https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/03/python-snake-swallows-man-whole-indonesia/
All-you-can-eat deal bankrupts Chinese restaurant in 11 days because business 'was TOO GOOD'- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5861491/All-eat-deal-bankrupts-restaurant-11-days.html
Bill Gross got revenge on ex-wife with fart spray: court papers - https://nypost.com/2018/06/17/bill-gross-got-revenge-on-ex-wife-with-fart-spray-court-papers
Jul 16, 201838:32
Body Parts in the News
In our first episode of WTF News, Jess and Alyssa talk about some interesting news making headlines, like a guy and his friends eating his own leg and a human toe thief. Hear what we have to say about all this and several other stories. We have plenty of ridiculous questions and commentary on all the chaos that’s happening in the world around you. Links: This Guy Served His Friends Taco Meat He Made From his Own Amputated Leg- https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/gykmn7/legal-ethical-cannibalism-human-meat-tacos-reddit-wtf Man charged with stealing human toes from dead body exhibition- https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12072908 Small Town Mayor Wins 3 Vote Landslide- https://www.npr.org/2018/06/15/620230335/small-town-mayor-wins-in-3-vote-landslide Bakewell pudding sent to the edge of space goes missing- https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-derbyshire-44536052
Jun 29, 201830:32