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You Are Being Unreasonable

You Are Being Unreasonable

By You Are Being Unreasonable

A podcast about people being unreasonable on the internet. Specifically on Mumsnet.com's AIBU forum.

Our theme song is 'I Feel Fantastic' by Jonathan Coulton from the album 'Our Bodies, Ourselves, Our Cybernetic Arms' (2005) which is licensed under a CC BY-NC 3.0 license.
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006 - In which fresh milk is opened and Hugh Jackman puffs himself up

You Are Being UnreasonableFeb 15, 2018

00:00
30:33
106 - The end

106 - The end

An announcement about the future of the You Are Being Unreasonable podcast. 

Oct 16, 202106:11
105 - The Last Will and Testament of Simon Bowie

105 - The Last Will and Testament of Simon Bowie

"It would be hard to patronise a bear."


Diving once again into the most horrid spaces on the British internet as we explore what people are talking about this week. We get into British people describing food as 'Moorish', banging around the word 'lush' too much these days, repeating people's names to sound patronising, odd quirks (mostly related to eating frozen food), defining 'family' in order to pass on jewellery and Ikea furniture, and we meet someone shitted off at people saying their name in a private hospital in Australia. Note that this podcast episode also doubles as Simon's will and by listening to it, you are witnessing it for him. This is legal and real.

Aug 12, 202142:23
104 - Phone-stealing cats and the net worth of Julius Pringles

104 - Phone-stealing cats and the net worth of Julius Pringles

"Nationalise Tebay, I say."


More keen insights into Mumsnet and Reddit's /r/AskUK. This week, we discuss dramatising stories by adding 30 minutes to time periods, what to do if a cat steals your phone, some Randian nonsense about collective responsibility, "trying" to keep in touch, and we discuss the personality and net worth of the Pringles mascot.

Jul 29, 202140:39
103 - Online dating PowerPoints and dogs with smaller dogs as pets

103 - Online dating PowerPoints and dogs with smaller dogs as pets

"If you go home with someone at the end of the night and they don't do the voices when they read you The Hobbit, don't fuck them."


This week's word of the week is 'petty' so look forward to all the pettiness in this episode. We cover a lot of birthday card interactions around thanking card-givers or not writing names in cards; whether online dating should require video and reading from a script; and how to deal with a grifting little boy holding your dog hostage. Somehow this all involves saying please to an app, clapping someone getting up, dogs with smaller dogs as pets, and dating with PowerPoint presentations.

Jul 15, 202135:43
102 - Pants on a washing line and gentle reminders to use verbs

102 - Pants on a washing line and gentle reminders to use verbs

"One Mumsnet, one podcast."


We're united in our love of odd web forums and back to discuss more unreasonableness. This week: appending 'Gently...' to a sentence to make it more, well, gentle; sending literal children to work; sleeping through your leaving announcement at work; what to put on your washing line when you have a barbecue; cancelling the flights of someone using your email address; and a lot of discussion about how sentences need both verbs and appropriate punctuation.

Jun 24, 202137:15
101 - Jostling the car at a petrol station and a journey to The Magical Cavern

101 - Jostling the car at a petrol station and a journey to The Magical Cavern

CONTENT WARNING: This episode includes discussion of eugenics, forced sterilisation, the Holocaust, and child abuse. It's all contained in the discussion of the fourth thread from 24:50 to 30:12.


"Believe it or not, it's Mr. Bean."


Delving back into the Room 101 of Mumsnet to dig up the most unreasonable and frankly immoral threads on the AIBU board. What if your partner tells you that they're not your friend? What places in the world give you the weirdest, most immaculate vibes? Should you charge your partner rent or charge for the "wear and tear" of the white goods? Should you move in the car at a petrol station or will that cause petrol to spill? And is it immoral (yes) to force the sterilisation (yes) of someone who "doesn't deserve" to have a child (yes)?

Jun 10, 202136:30
100 - Steamed badger and piss walls

100 - Steamed badger and piss walls

"So she's sending her kids into the woods somewhere..."


100 episodes! We're celebrating with a trip to the Mumsnet Classics board and a journey beyond Mumsnet to look at the wide world of UK forum-posting. On this very special episode, we meet the Penetration Man and ask about reasons for dumping someone, we discuss builders' drinking fifty-one cups of tea and not going to the toilet, we meet an unhoused father gives his children badger meat for lunch, and discuss cancelling dinosaurs for their lack of conservative family values.

May 13, 202133:58
099 - Thicc hobbits on the beach and opening crisp packets upside-down

099 - Thicc hobbits on the beach and opening crisp packets upside-down

"Big jeans for Tik Tok teens."


As we hurtle towards our 100th episode, a moment of reflection with some corrections to previous episodes. We also discuss: How does one go to the beach? How does one do beach? And what would a hobbit wear at the beach? What happens when you open a crisp packet upside-down? Is opening crisp packets the best way to come out as LGBT? Are there any women out there without imposter syndrome? And what to do with old pound coins that aren't LEGAL TENDER.

Apr 29, 202135:35
098 - Stealing cakes from robots and catfishing by wearing clown make-up

098 - Stealing cakes from robots and catfishing by wearing clown make-up

"AIBU to think that maybe my husband is lost in the great abyss of his unending need to be validated?"


We're back to provide our commentary on the strangest Mumsnet AIBU threads of the last couple of weeks. This episode, we discuss how to congratulate a husband who can't get enough of that sweet sweet validation, worrying about stealing a cake from a supermarket self-checkout, how people manage to live without bookshelves and what is the worst single book that someone could have, and the frankly terrible take that wearing make-up is a form of catfishing. 

Apr 15, 202136:24
097 - Forced perspective counterfeit furniture and mentors stealing our jobs

097 - Forced perspective counterfeit furniture and mentors stealing our jobs

"Pizza. Cheese on toast. Magnums."


Like the mighty Ever Given, we are refloated and are making our way safely down the Suez Canal of Mumsnet. This week, we ask: Is it unreasonable for an enterprising mentor to get a job that their mentee went for? Should you email the company that a scam artist works for? What three foods would you eat for the rest of your life? And we discover Mumsnet's surprising response to discussions of the role of the police.

Apr 01, 202136:36
096 - Misremembering Vimto as 'Vimpto' and the strangest job application process

096 - Misremembering Vimto as 'Vimpto' and the strangest job application process

"Where did the Stacys go?"


Enjoy this episode of You Are Being Unreasonable... or else. This week we ask if '... or else' is a fun, flirty thing to text or a weird threat, whether you need to tell people where you work as part of a job application, whether people who have been furloughed need to be more productive when they return to work, and we discuss the Mandela Effect, a term which should refer to being a revolutionary anti-racism activist and pioneering reconciliatory statesman but actually refers to slightly misremembering trivial things.

Mar 18, 202136:03
095 - Hyper-capitalist predatory alphas and platonic cuddle-friends

095 - Hyper-capitalist predatory alphas and platonic cuddle-friends

"CAKE UP, MUMMY!"


We're pleased to outline the roadmap for easing restrictions on this podcast. Soon you'll be able to listen to this podcast outside with one other person. This episode, we thoroughly roast those hyper-capitalist predatory 20 year-olds who are invariably business coaches, recruitment agents, or estate agents. Is it unreasonable to object to a builder taking a fireplace (after you've told them to take it)? What about objecting to work making you walk 1000 steps a day? Is it unreasonable to take a neighbour as a platonic cuddle-friend? Or to stop asking neighbours to keep meowing out the window?


References:


The redecorated globe: https://twitter.com/leemc87/status/1365059611288559617

Northern Independence Party angry at a parasitic landlord: https://twitter.com/FreeNorthNow/status/1364909811746414592

Mar 04, 202139:55
094 - Zooming with a 70 year-old beagle and spotting penises in the background

094 - Zooming with a 70 year-old beagle and spotting penises in the background

"Opening a big coat and it's just full of dog collars."


Everyone is mad at runners and Mumsnet is folding in on itself by discussing GETTING RID OF THE AIBU BOARD. Our livelihood! This week a friend is accused of being beloved Peanuts character, Snoopy, during Zoom and Microsoft Teams meetings, nights out with as the only woman in a man-dominated workplace, how to deal with stray penises in friends' photos, a radical suggestion to remove AIBU and restructure Mumsnet entirely into thematic categories, and Simon is offering church offices and roles for money. So Simony.

Feb 19, 202133:17
093 - Very special brain geniuses and online gynecology courses

093 - Very special brain geniuses and online gynecology courses

"The pedagogical approach for postgraduates is INSTANT FEEDBACK."


We're still in lockdown and Mumsnet has as little good chat as we do. But we struggle on and discuss taking a fancy little three year-old to a pre-deputante ball at the Ritz, being complimented on one's "very nice vagina", tips on how to bag a wealthy man while avoiding all discussion of structural inequality, and Simon gets angry about fees discourse in UK Higher Education. Again.

Feb 04, 202134:51
092 - Shopping basket etiquette and mysterious marital essays

092 - Shopping basket etiquette and mysterious marital essays

"Serving poutine for six out of a shopping basket."


Join us as we explore the last social media site that hasn't banned Donald J. Trump and answer more Am I Being Unreasonable questions. Are we allowed to remove shopping baskets from supermarkets or not? Where have all the walkers in my Wicker Man-esque folk horror village come from? How much cheese does the McDonald's Filet-O-Fish come with and how much would Jon Bon Jovi want on his Filet-O-Fish? Is this mysterious essay in an envelope evidence of a husband's sordid affair? We end the episode with this classic mystery and, in a surprising turn of events, actually solve it!

Jan 21, 202138:01
091 - Information-delivery musicals and bringing back the clap

091 - Information-delivery musicals and bringing back the clap

"And what are you?"


New year, new You Are Being Unreasonable. Mumsnet AIBU are struggling with an excess of weirdness this year and we investigate this madness with a general review of the state of Mumsnet's AIBU board in 2021. We also discuss defining people entirely by their function to capital, whether musicals are the most efficient information-delivery mechanism that there is, and a couple of Mumsnet ideas to deal with coronavirus in the UK: more clapping and/or full communism.

Jan 07, 202131:41
090 - Christmas Hell-dimensions and shoeboxes full of Fabergé eggs

090 - Christmas Hell-dimensions and shoeboxes full of Fabergé eggs

"I agree. But not with a lot of passion."


A Christmas Eve spectactular! Join us as we dive into Christmas Mumsnet and discuss the lack of realism of flying reindeers, paying Dr. Christmas to decorate your house for the holidays and the 2018 masterpiece, CHRISTMAS MADE TO ORDER, Christmas "virtue signalling" and propping up charities through shoeboxes, putting Christmas jammies into a Christmas Room 101 Hell-dimension, and our holiday gift guide for 30 year-old vegan hipster men.

Dec 24, 202041:46
089 - Meet the number one buyer of passata in the UK

089 - Meet the number one buyer of passata in the UK

"Why do people always start with peas?!"


Our not-quite Christmas episode! Among the many non-Christmas related threads we discuss this week, we worry about our increasing reliance on vaccines (without actually knowing what vaccines are) and discuss hot bread injections, a partner describes his mother as an artist despite her having no creative outlet, Sainsbury's rank us based on how much passata we buy and we discuss our ASMR of boiling passata, and some manager tries to trick us into talking about dossing while working-from-home. You can't fool us, Manager!

Dec 10, 202035:03
088 - A Christmas fight club, jizz on a mirror, and closely guarded secret supermarket buys

088 - A Christmas fight club, jizz on a mirror, and closely guarded secret supermarket buys

"I think the workers should seize the means of production: the office kettle."


Secrets abound this week as we share our exciting and closely guarded secret supermarket buys. Why not share your closely guarded secret supermarket buys with us on Twitter? Lord knows there's nothing else to do. We also determine whose kimchi is whose and becoming the best wife in the world, look at the intelligence-measuring properties of quiz shows and changing the IQ test to a Frasier-based test, examine the yawning gap between labour and capital as expressed through the prism of the office kitchen, and we think about the radio call-in energy of mindless questions about closely guarded secret supermarket buys.

Nov 26, 202038:01
087 - In which we ask you to post cash through the letterbox, no worries if not

087 - In which we ask you to post cash through the letterbox, no worries if not

"It's important that I keep my blood-cocaine levels up because I'm breastfeeding this '80s child."


People on Mumsnet are so different to the people we know in real life. This is entirely a good thing as we discover as we dive into the site again. This week, we discuss a husband complaining about creamy garlicky pasta bakes because he'd prefer to scoff Maccies and burning a curry so much it turns into a kebab, or someone rounding up their age, how people on Mumsnet are nothing like any of the people in real life, the meaning of the phrase "up for grabs" and encouraging people to drop cash through the letterbox, rounding up ages and enjoying a Jesus-themed birthday party at 33, and we meet Mumsnet's new mascot, the Mumsnet Chicken.

Nov 12, 202032:10
086 - In which we send people back to the end of the Fussy Queue and reboot Frasier so he's a club DJ

086 - In which we send people back to the end of the Fussy Queue and reboot Frasier so he's a club DJ

"Eat kale to keep hale."


Get in an autumnal cocoon in your baby-seal room with the latest You Are Being Unreasonable episode. This week, we address unreasonable questions and rushing through niche references to ask: Is it unreasonable for a teacher to give a pupil a bag of kale, nature's gag prize? How long should we expect to keep expensive chairs like the ones in Frasier's expansive apartment? Should people ordering fancy coffees be required to stand in the Fussy Queue? And we relitigate Bridget Jones' lean-in feminism *checks notes* 24 years too late.

Oct 29, 202038:10
085 - In which we stockpile cotton buds to create a speakeasy of banned hygiene products

085 - In which we stockpile cotton buds to create a speakeasy of banned hygiene products

"The vast spectrum from Coldplay to Ed Sheeran."


We all love music, rummaging in our ears for wax, and accumulating cultural capital so we discuss those and other issues of the day. This week, we cover the suggested age ranges of the various BBC Radio stations and what age you should be to enjoy BBC Radio 1, the avant-garde radio plays that Liza Tarbuck puts on on BBC Radio 2, a boss telling his employee excessively and loudly about his DARLING WIFE, stockpiling plastic cotton buds to "rummage in the ear for wax, some new charitable campaigns and the podcast-in-a-podcast, Simon's Tweet Review.

Oct 15, 202036:42
084 - In which we téléphone á la police

084 - In which we téléphone á la police

"Rule two: put terrorists... in the bin."


Autumn's here! We can really start dressing and we can get into some more Mumsnet threads. This week: paying for things that are later made available for free and telephoning la police; teaching primary school children about 'cancelling' Woody Allen and Roman Polanski; The Fickle Spiteful Gran falling out with her grandchildren and throwing away all their presents; accidentally messaging ex-boyfriends and the WhatsApp Gif Challenge; and depositing hundreds of birds in the bank.

Oct 01, 202035:37
083 - In which we dress as a sexy bao bun

083 - In which we dress as a sexy bao bun

"About once a month, they talk about Gordon Brown and some bigoted woman and no-one knows why."


We're taking Alan Sugar's advice this week and getting back to the office. Fortunately our workplace is this podcast and, unlike every other podcast, it's not excruciatingly dull. This week: we take a sweeping look at the limits of the podcast as a medium; we don't tell our colleagues about our lives, our involvement in fight clubs and studying at The Secret University; we dress up for the postman and expose the Obvious Boob; we dress up for Lord Sugar and expose the writing team behind his terrible puns on The Apprentice.

Sep 17, 202037:34
082 - In which creepy dolls work to reduce the stigma of HIV/AIDS

082 - In which creepy dolls work to reduce the stigma of HIV/AIDS

"I'm adamant that Tom Hanks, James Belushi, and Bill Murray are the same people."


Conspiracy theories and creepy dolls in this week's episode as we uncover some shocking truths about beloved American actors. This week, we discuss stacked 'speak to the manager' bobs that you can go out with, what to do with creepy dolls and how to kickstart a horror franchise with Mabel and Mabel 2: The Daughtening, which conspiracy theories Mumsnetters think hold some weight largely those to do with Princess Diana, 9/11, Jeffrey Epstein, and Boris Johnson's baby (not one big conspiracy theory), and whether you should put a photo of yourself on your CV alongside your "extensive Microsoft Office skills".

Sep 03, 202039:08
081 - In which landlords steal shoes and Bran Stark is a messy bitch who lives for drama

081 - In which landlords steal shoes and Bran Stark is a messy bitch who lives for drama

"It's All Gravy Baby... Or Is It?"


Another episode of our The Apprentice / Game of Thrones mash-up podcast, Nuggs of Wisdom. Is it unreasonable for landlords to kick fellow human beings out of their homes during an international health crisis? Is building a kickass Wild West town in The Sims 4 nerdy? Why is everyone on Mumsnet so DRAMATIC?! We also run some new features: Mumsnet ASMR and another 'is gravy OK with this specific food?' thread.

Aug 20, 202035:50
080 - In which we tax the robots and uncover a counterfeit children's books market

080 - In which we tax the robots and uncover a counterfeit children's books market

"I need to know if Gigolo Joe ejaculates."


The Mumsnetters have some funny ideas this week about an underground counterfeit children's books market and taxing robots rather than, say, human billionaires. We'll give all these ideas the attention they deserve as well as discussing social distancing from the Edinburgh Tattoo, whether Spielberg's sex-worker robots ejaculate, how Kafka tried and failed to cancel himself, using eugenics and IQ for dating, and we discover that rarest of things, a Mumsnet thread with no replies from anyone.

Aug 06, 202033:38
079 - In which Jamie Oliver has a big face and a wide tongue

079 - In which Jamie Oliver has a big face and a wide tongue

"Are priests allowed to vote?"


Some real Cronenbergian body horror in this episode as we discover a freethinker who avoids the 'rona by slithering along like a snake, a bathroom carpeted with hair, and Jamie Oliver's wide wide tongue. Very normal podcast. We get to these topics by discussing the difference between sliced bread and toast, a neighbour, a greedy apple-fiend, stealing apples, being a radical freethinker not like the rest of the sheeple, sweeteners in lemonade and which fictional British characters are shy Tories, and going to bed at Pimms o'clock.

Jul 23, 202034:33
078 - In which we name children after non-dead magicians

078 - In which we name children after non-dead magicians

"Dressed as a glowstick dressed as a banana dressed as a bridesmaid."


This episode is so vid-19. Some genuinely interesting questions this week as Mumsnetters ask why copyright dates on TV shows are shown in Roman numerals and we ask which magician's name is best for a child. Well, maybe that last one isn't so interesting. Among other things, this week we determine the best colour schemes for weddings this year and the best wedding theme, Bananas in Pyjamas, we invent a new incomprehensible system of British numerals to replace Arabic numerals, and we ask if it's reasonable to ask a whole village to be quiet so one person can have a lie-in.

Jul 09, 202038:06
077 - In which all skeletons are pretty much the same size

077 - In which all skeletons are pretty much the same size

"Why can't you use a child's Doc Marten in lieu of a tampon?"


This episode is, for some reason, for the dads out there. But please do feel free to listen if you're not a dad. This week, we talk about how we've all been let down by the UK education system w/r/t skeleton studies, teaching cursive handwriting to infants, the animal rights issues raised by Peppa Pig visiting a zoo, the VAT implications of having a child's frame, and interpersonal conflict on eBay over high-street brand clothing at low low prices.

Jun 25, 202034:52
076 - In which Timmy dresses a bad satsuma as Anne Boleyn
Jun 11, 202036:29
075 - In which we do a socially distanced Macarena and hurl Gratitude Pebbles at vulnerable elderly neighbours

075 - In which we do a socially distanced Macarena and hurl Gratitude Pebbles at vulnerable elderly neighbours

"I mean, that's just what I would do if I were starting a campaign of hateful motivational rocks."


We celebrate our second wedding anniversary: the podcast anniversary. As part of our celebrations, we discuss when it's appropriate to do the Macarena under the current circumstances and suggest that the UK Government do the Time Warp, we receive mysterious pebbles with sinister messages on them, we receive a huge box of clothes as gifts every single day and discuss if shoes are clothes, and we wear a truly monumental amount of underwear per day despite the fact that pants are not an infinite resource.

May 28, 202037:07
074 - In which robots scam neighbours into buying McDonald's and bees get in the nuggs

074 - In which robots scam neighbours into buying McDonald's and bees get in the nuggs

"Press 1 to buy some land."


Which supernatural beings are crap? Vampires, for sure. We discuss whether vampires could get the 'rona as well as neighbours demanding money for a mysterious group-buy of McDonald's food, robots with long numbers running sophisticated phone scams about out-of-date chicken goujons, using this time (and massive privilege) to become self-sufficient, and Simon tries out a new tagline for the podcast.

May 14, 202030:00
073 - In which his Bombay potatoes are a joke and we forage for DVDs

073 - In which his Bombay potatoes are a joke and we forage for DVDs

"Why is there always a buffet at this workplace?"


COVID-19 will surely lead to massive changes in the way we live in the future. Could it be the end of popping-round culture? Could it be the start of prank-calling culture? Can we wear gymwear on our weekly trip to the supermarket? Are we just going to start leaving our obsolete physical media out on the pavement? Will we start foraging for DVDs? We discuss these sweeping societal changes as well as what to do if your husband and his potatoes are an absolute joke? He's looking like a total clown at the work buffet. 

May 07, 202036:23
You Are Being Unquizonable

You Are Being Unquizonable

This week there's a You Are Being Unreasonable quiz! Enter at https://tinyurl.com/yabuquiz

Apr 30, 202001:33
072 - In which we set our Zoom backgrounds at work to the things we fear the most

072 - In which we set our Zoom backgrounds at work to the things we fear the most

"There's no such site as Mumsnet."


An episode of bold takes this week like 'there's no such site as Mumsnet', 'men do not exist', and 'frozen coleslaw is a thing that should be'. This week, we discuss which food-related words are too awful to mention and helpings of school dinners, we change our personalities along with our Mumsnet usernames, we strategically place pineapples for our Zoom meetings, we sing Enter Sandman with our neighbours for the carers, and Helen sends Simon to improv jail.

Apr 23, 202033:56
071 - In which we welcome our new alien overlords by performatively playing violins in the street

071 - In which we welcome our new alien overlords by performatively playing violins in the street

"Are German nipples the worst?"


An Easter special! In which Easter is barely mentioned. This Easter live show was livestreamed on YouTube and you can watch the full unedited video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9TAU7DOf_E


Instead of Easter, we discuss the creepy musical children next door, huge bums and the correct way to measure the size of bottoms, how the lockdown has us all saving money and how Gregg Wallace must be pleased about this, we wildly speculate about aliens (or maybe AI) arriving during lockdown, and we hear about Helen's plans for the Kesha jukebox musical.

Apr 16, 202034:49
070 - In which we clap for the soap opera actors

070 - In which we clap for the soap opera actors

"Designated survivor, Ian Beale."


We're organising clapping for Mumsnetters this week. We're clapping for everyone else in the country so why not Mumsnetters? Mumsnet is full on lockdown nowadays so we cover what counts as essential shopping and whether this includes two cucumbers, how soap operas should handle this global health crisis, how and when to name and shame your neighbours for failing to clap, and if anyone would like to have penises for arms.

Apr 09, 202033:18
069 - Nice

069 - Nice

"Moral outrage: it's a big phrase for a little chilli."


We're still in lockdown and we're all hoarding beans. Or Haribo Bears which can be used in place of beans in many recipes. We'll get into all that culinary sacrilege and also talk about websites where hunky priests discuss if they're being unreasonable, being a grow-your-own hipster mad at this new grow-your-owners during the global health crisis and learning what spaghetti is, changing usernames to prevent being outed as Mumsnetters and being no-filter, no-makeup kind of people, and we discover what 'Netflix and chill' means in front of important business clients. 

Apr 02, 202035:59
068 - In which we read Ayn Rand's Willy Wonka and the Fountainhead

068 - In which we read Ayn Rand's Willy Wonka and the Fountainhead

"A little ten-year old boy is desperate to go to a toilet paper conference."


We're social distancing this week for our first online livestreamed show! If you want to see our faces, you can watch the whole unedited stream at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pviWRPj6wjU


In this week's episode, we receive some strange tickets and estimate the cash value of the golden tickets in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, we teach Masterchef presenters about the proper use of pronouns and imagine a new BBC show, Mastergrammarians, we teach children which British politicians are suitable to sing 'Happy Birthday' to and discuss stockpiling washing-your-hands, and we hear about a dream starring an ex with profound implications about our current global situation.

Mar 26, 202039:31
067 - In which we go on a date with a catfish-dog and listen to cursed seashells

067 - In which we go on a date with a catfish-dog and listen to cursed seashells

"Don't put yogs up your foof."


Good news! We're temporarily moving to weekly You Are Being Unreasonable episodes to help provide some relief from... everything. In non-COVID-19 chat, we discuss "tricking" friends into eating vegan sausages and going on holiday with the Sausage Lads, dating dog-owners and dating Human Centipedes, when it is and is not right to throw something from a colleague's desk into the bin, what to do when you get spice in and around your "foof", and how comfortable we both are throwing shapes (?) on the dancefloor. This episode is accidentally brought to you by Richmond's Vegan Sausages and The Amazing World of Gumball on Cartoon Network.

Mar 19, 202033:10
066 - In which we eat salty flaccid chicken wings and plant knives in the back garden

066 - In which we eat salty flaccid chicken wings and plant knives in the back garden

"My knives are stabbed into the garden with the handles sticking out..."


We recorded a little further in advance than usual this week so we take some time to predict the future which is now your past when you read this in the present. Clear? Good. This week we discuss the frankly horrifying prospect of turgid chicken skin and decide which foodstuffs can accurately be described as "flaccid"; how to dispose of knives without looking like a knife fetishist and why not to create tiny knife cemetaries in your background; being elected Toilet Monitor on a train and using the train toilet as an office space; the COVID-19 conspiracy theory that's all the range among the gullible of Mumsnet and how Illuminati HQ came up with the virus.

Mar 12, 202035:12
065 - In which we are not everyone's personal snack bitch and Elton John outlives us

065 - In which we are not everyone's personal snack bitch and Elton John outlives us

"Just care yourself up by your bootstraps."


Some weeks we cover the tough questions about politics and economics and etiquette in the modern age. Some weeks we ask, 'Should you literally steal candy from a baby?'. How is a hapless husband supposed to get snacks if his wife doesn't buy them for him and he's not allowed to eat baby snacks? This week, we also listen to the reasonable and knowledgable claims of the Flat Earthers, we assess a Classic Mumsnet Scheme to set up a job-share between one million UK unemployed people to be a single care worker, and we panic over how to write invitations to events.


Thanks to Imogen for providing us with the 'snack bitch' thread.

Feb 27, 202036:16
064 - In which we launch a pirate radio station for kids that jams frequencies to play Baby Shark

064 - In which we launch a pirate radio station for kids that jams frequencies to play Baby Shark

"I was just grateful that we didn't have a dead old man under a washing machine."


Gregg Wallace gets an extension this week as we discuss the rules of etiquette for offering a worker on your property a drink (if you're the host of BBC's Eat Well For Less and Inside the Factory). If a houseguest comes to stay, should they bring a gift? And what should it be: some Frubes; a cheap Zinfandel? What motivational songs do out-of-touch Mumsnetters send to another out-of-touch Mumsnetter to pump up a Gen-Z-er? And should we let children go to pirate-themed parties so they can learn to torrent and dress up as Napster?

Feb 13, 202037:43
063 - In which hamster balls are cancelled and we slide into a friend's husband's DMs to talk about 🔥 and 🍆

063 - In which hamster balls are cancelled and we slide into a friend's husband's DMs to talk about 🔥 and 🍆

"'Your very existence is a hot take' is a weird thing to say to someone."


We're big into the social media this week. This episode is practically a lesson in social media etiquette and frankly we should be charging you for this training. We get into bosses who want you to advertise to your friends via Facebook and WhatsApp; printing out and laminating memes for your meme in-tray; what the flame emoji means and whether you should use it to comment on your friend's jacked husband on Facebook. We also discuss what to do if you have a parcel from China to collect from the Post Office, what to do if your hamster is infected with the coronavirus, and what to do when someone you manage is going for the same job interview as you and the interviewers make you buzz in like University Challenge.

Jan 30, 202037:32
062 - In which we come up with inventive names for houses and we cover breasts with slotted spoons

062 - In which we come up with inventive names for houses and we cover breasts with slotted spoons

"You've got a slotted spoon to try to eat that satsuma? What are you on about?"


What is irony? What is sincerity? We discuss this philosophical and cultural conundrum in-depth as we look into someone's "sincere and heartfelt apology". This week, we take out three billboards and bake some apology muffins to apologise for delaying a driver at a crossing, we discuss a boyfriend talking about breasts with a friend and "what they could do with them", we take a double bedroom in our new new-build house as a dressing room and confine our children to smaller rooms, and a colleague uses a mountain of plastic every lunchtime to cut up pineapples with plastic forks.

Jan 16, 202038:56
061 - In which we throw latte art parties for children

061 - In which we throw latte art parties for children

"Bonkers or normal?"


Another year; another You Are Being Unreasonable. Please settle yourself down for the annual shareholder's meeting of YABU Industries. We start the year by pondering if instant coffee is a disaster at a child's birthday party, how you get recruited by MI5 and MI6 and meeting spies in fields, the history of French plaits and their cinematic representation, and how we should all answer the phone in 2020.

Jan 02, 202034:55
YABU Live 8th December 2019 - In which we do another festive live podcast recording

YABU Live 8th December 2019 - In which we do another festive live podcast recording

"Christmas is my favourite time of the year and I don't want it overshadowed by pigs."


Ho ho ho and "Merry" "Christmas"! This is the recording of our Christmas live show performed at the Effra Social in Brixton, London in aid of Mermaids UK (https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/). Thanks to the generosity of everyone who came to the show, we raised £450 for Mermaids UK to help support gender-diverse and transgender children in the UK. This year, we think of the best Secret Santa presents you can get for £3 in Asda, we dress children up in yellow leggings to be the Beyoncé of the school nativity version of Kill Bill: Vol. 1, we employ a cleaner to clean up our palatial mansion for 30 hours per week (but not over Christmas), we ponder over extensive arguments about what to do with micro-pigs over Christmas, and we tackle Am I Being Unreasonable questions from the audience.

Dec 24, 201948:52
060 - In which we find BiggerJugs.co.uk indelibly inscribed on our bank statements

060 - In which we find BiggerJugs.co.uk indelibly inscribed on our bank statements

"Why not trickle out your truths over the Christmas dinner table?"


It's been a tough week but we're still here to bring community, solidarity, and hope through the medium of a snarky podcast about Mumsnet. This week, we meet our favourite new recurring character, Trickle Truth the festive fairy who drip-feeds truths, and we talk about offensive company names for banterous lads, using 'partner' to describe your husband or wife and what 'other half' refers to, people filming in houses without the homeowner's permission and the possibility of being Home Alone-d, look at IMDb's incorrectly-regarded-as-goofs section, and, unsurprisingly, we get political with some chat about negotiating salaries and the importance of collective organising to improve pay and conditions in the workplace. 

Dec 19, 201937:45
059 - In which we fry Gregg Wallace in a big pan

059 - In which we fry Gregg Wallace in a big pan

"We're not saying people have to stop: we just wish they would."


As the Christmas season approaches, we're thinking about our Christmas dinner: a roasted Gregg Wallace, too much sriracha sauce and Neopolitan layered Angel's Delight pudding in an ornate crystal bowl. This week, we get into TV cooks who use too many utensils and the differences in portion control between gourmet cooking and cooking at home, cover versions versus originals and those slow piano covers for John Lewis ads, inventive ways of eating Angel's Delight, and calling people cockwombles, wankspatulas, twunts, and the like.

Dec 05, 201933:45