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You and Me and BPD

You and Me and BPD

By Stef RB

You and Me and BPD is hosted by Stef, a person living with Borderline Personality Disorder as well as being on the Autism spectrum. If you have BPD, are interested in hearing some experiences of what it is like to live with this disorder, or if you love someone with BPD then you might learn something by listening to these episodes. I am one person and these are my experiences, but if they relate to you feel free to suggest episode ideas or reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound.
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Your Story Matters (End of Season Three)
Your Story Matters (End of Season Three)
Hello! This is the end of Season Three!!! Thank you so much for supporting this journey and being with me as we unpack mental health issues and learn to find some more compassion for ourselves. I am so grateful for the growth that this year has brought the podcast and for each of you who took the time to listen to these episodes. As I mention in this episode, there is still time to contribute to the Online Gallery I will be creating in the new year (the jotform can be found on my instagram Linktree) and the book I recommend is called Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder by Blaise Aguirre and Gillian Galen. If you want to reach out to me, I can be found on my instagram @journey.bound and although I will be taking a break from posting and make episodes, I will still be free to message and connect with you - even just to tell you how much I value you being on this earth with me. Thank you so much again for all your support; this podcast is only alive because someone like you believed enough to listen and engage with it. I do not take any of this for granted and I hope you have a wonderful Winter season. Sending you so much love and calming energy 🖤💗💜
23:10
November 30, 2022
Bonus Episode - Deep Relaxation Meditation
Bonus Episode - Deep Relaxation Meditation
I am leading a Yin Yoga + Deep Relaxation class for my Buddhist group so I decided to record a Deep Relaxation Meditation for the podcast aswell. This meditation is focused on relaxing the body and creating more awareness of our internal feelings and sensations; it is typically done in a lying down position and can be a great practice to utilize when we are experiencing stress or anxiety. The actual meditation begins at the 4minute mark. Thank you for letting me share this beautiful practice with you 🖤💮
28:41
November 22, 2022
Convo with Elyse
Convo with Elyse
In today's episode, I sat down with Elyse Brouhard (@elyse_brouhard on Instagram) to talk about her zine, Handle with Care: Living and Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder. I reached out to Elyse over DM and I am so happy we got to have this conversation about her creative process and daily life living with BPD. If you want to check out the zine, it can be found on the Microcosm Publishing website https://microcosmpublishing.com/catalog/zines/14497 where you can purchase a physical copy. Submissions are still open for the online gallery that I mentioned in the last mini episode so if you want more information or to submit some art / writing pieces, head over to my Instagram @journey.bound and you can find all the information there. I hope our conversation helps you to feel less alone and you know that I am supporting you on your mental health journey 🖤💗
27:37
November 14, 2022
Call for Submission!
Call for Submission!
Hiya! This bonus episode is to let you know about the online gallery I am hoping to create called You and Me and BPD: Collective Stories. If you have any digital art, poems, short stories, or mixed media pieces associated with your experiences with BPD, I would be honoured if you submitted them using this form https://form.jotform.com/222973735144258 or go to the Linktree in my Bio on Instagram (@journey.bound ). There is a pinned post on my instagram profile for more information, but also feel free to reach out and DM me if you want clarification or need some assistance. The form will be open until December 31st, 2022 and can be done anonymously if you are worried about speaking openly about your experiences. Thanks for listening and talk to you soon 💗
06:11
November 03, 2022
Searching for Love
Searching for Love
This episode is all about love, specifically focusing on some of the issues that people with BPD face when they are trying to find romantic relationships. This topic is often spoken about from a very bias opinion, painting a picture of toxic relationships that are a direct result of BPD but I think it's important to note that many times, people with mental illnesses can be the victims of abusers and those who try to take advantage of our negative mental states. Obviously it's impossible to cover all aspects of why finding love is so hard for people with BPD but I try to give some reasoning behind why we might act the way we do, especially when it comes to being paranoid about people leaving us. The fear of abandonment is something that comes from deep within us, usually as a result of tumultuous childhood's and low self esteem. If we give our worth to someone else - putting them up on a pedestal where their love is all that matters - we might find ourselves feeling broken when we recognize that they can't fix us... They are human. Humans are not perfect, even if we desperately want them to be. The ability to change and grow is something that has to be supported. If you want to talk about this episode or just want to reach out, you can find me on instagram @journey.bound 🌸 I hope you find love that doesn't hurt you but helps you to heal and grow 🖤
39:43
October 18, 2022
Conceptualizing Self Harm
Conceptualizing Self Harm
In this episode, Jay joins me to discuss what Self Harm is and why people engage with this type of activity. This episode might be triggering to those who are not ready for this type of honest discussion so please be safe and feel free to skip this episode if you find at any point you are feeling overwhelmed 💗 We will be discussing some statistics that can be found in the Self Harm Toolkit https://www.suicideinfo.ca/local_resource/self-harm-and-suicide/ and talk about our own experiences with self harming in the form of cutting. According to researchers, 65-80% of people with BPD have used self harming as a form of emotional regulation, although it is important to remember that self harm can also be a symptom for other mental health illnesses such as depression or PTSD. As I hope we have explained, there are many reasons why people self harm and it is my goal that we continue to have these types of honest conversations to allow people to feel less stigmatized if they need professional help. Feelings are hard to manage alone so please don't hesitate to reach out on my instagram @journey.bound if you want to talk or need some more resources. I hope you know you are not alone in any of your struggles and I hope you find ways to experience this beautiful life in a way that is loving towards yourself and your body 🖤
35:33
October 05, 2022
Disability in the Workplace
Disability in the Workplace
*Please forgive my bad editing skills at the beginning* In this episode, I speak about my struggle to find meaningful work and how working can be hard for those with mental health disabilities. I haven't worked since mid-2020 and not working causes me a lot of anxiety, but trying to find a job that works for my physical and mental limitations is incredibly hard for me to find. A lot of people have a lot of opinions about why people choose not to work, but I honestly think working just doesn't seem fulfilling to some people and we could benefit a lot more from community based activities rather than trying to find a job to fill our days. Towards the end of this episode I speak a little more openly about my own thoughts and struggles so I hope this helps you to know that you are not alone if you are in the same boat. Life is hard my friends, so feel free to reach out on my instagram @journey.bound if you feel like you need someone to talk to. I'm not an expert about this topic but I try to speak openly and honestly so hopefully something in this is meaningful to you.
31:04
September 23, 2022
Suicidal Ideation
Suicidal Ideation
Here are some helplines if you feel triggered by this episode •TALK SUICIDE CANADA #1-833-456-4566 (45645 for text) •SUICIDE & CRISIS LIFELINE in America #988 to connect with a local Suicide prevention helpline •UK SUICIDE PREVENTION PHONE LINE #0800-689-5652. In this episode, we talk about the differences between Passive suicidal ideation and Active suicidal thoughts. We discuss some of the reasons people might choose to commit suicide, as well as how prevalent suicidal thoughts can be for people living with BPD. Many of us living with trauma will experience suicidal ideation - especially during times of heightened emotional distress - but we need to find people we can trust to speak only about what we are experiencing and even set a safety plan in place if we feel like we cannot handle our own inner thoughts. There should never be shame associated with speaking openly so I hope this conversation can help you to feel motivated to seek professional help if that is what you need. I want you to be here with me so feel free to reach out at any point over on my instagram @journey.bound and I can send you some resources or helplines. We are in this life together and I hope you know how important you are 🖤
32:47
September 07, 2022
Spiraling & BPD Episodes
Spiraling & BPD Episodes
In this episode, I try to contextualize the idea of Spiraling and how it can lead to what some people call a 'BPD Episode.' Spiraling, to me, is kind of like falling down the rabbit hole; it usually begins when I experience some negative self talk and can lead to feelings of existential dread or overwhelming sadness. For many people, Spiraling leads to 'Episodes;' times where we might lash out against others or experience rage because we have been triggered and don't know how to engage in safe emotional regulation. Episodes can last from a few minutes to sometimes hours or days, causing increased stress and physical exhaustion. In my experiences, it's important that I meet my spiraling with a lot of self compassion; remembering that I have experienced many of the same emotions before and providing myself the time to really sit with how I am feeling in a safe and mindful way. Therapy and having a safety plan if we become overwhelmed can be extremely helpful if you are just beginning to pay attention to your triggers and what an episode is like. BPD is a very individualized disorder; what works for one of us might not work for others so open communication is extremely important if you want to know how to help someone when they begin to spiral. Always remember that asking for help is a very brave thing to do; you are never alone in your struggles to get better. I am right there with you. If you want to reach out about this episode or just to talk, message me on instagram @journey.bound ❤️
31:31
August 20, 2022
Convo w/ Alicen - Favourite Person Continued
Convo w/ Alicen - Favourite Person Continued
In this episode, I sit down with Alicen - @alicenricard on instagram - who is one of the co-hosts of the Not Enough Spoons podcast. Alicen wrote an article called "To Those Who Don't Understand My Favourite Person Relationship (2020)" which I found when I was researching my Favourite Person episode from a while ago. I reached out to Alicen in May and asked her to be a part of the podcast so we could further discuss what a Favourite Person is and how to navigate this often intense relationship. I am so thankful to Alicen for sharing her time and experiences with me during this conversation. If you want to reach out to her, you can get in contact through the Not Enough Spoons Podcast page on instagram or message her directly. As always, I am sending you so much loving energy and hope that you gain some insight through this episode. If you want to be a guest or have any questions/comments, feel free to message me @journey.bound on instagram.
30:02
July 29, 2022
Identity Disturbance
Identity Disturbance
In this episode, I speak about the topic of Identity Disturbance; a clinical term used to describe the chronic symptom of unstable identity. Many people with BPD struggle with feelings of Identity Disturbance; they might feel like they don't understand who or why they are the way they are, and thus might start to self identify with things or people around them as they morph into a different version of their 'self'. I've struggled with this for most of my life; constantly trying to find something to ground my identity with so that I can feel more secure in who I am and how I exist in this world. I recently realized that this kind of fragmented self is who I am; I can't keep hoping or wishing I will become a less 'broken' individual. Self compassion is honestly one of the hardest lessons to learn because the world we live in is not built for those of us who live with trauma. This episode is very honest so if it resonates with you, feel free to reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound ; I hope you know that you are never alone and I love you with all your fragmented parts 🖤
30:03
July 06, 2022
Comorbid Diagnosis + My Autism Journey
Comorbid Diagnosis + My Autism Journey
In this episode, I touch on the topic of Comorbid Diagnosis before telling you a bit about my own journey to getting diagnosed as Autistic. Research estimates that 50-96% of people with BPD are living with a comorbid mental health condition, whether that is depression or anxiety, other mood disorders, or even substance abuse issues (to name a few). Understanding how to treat these comorbid diagnosis can be integral to our understanding of what BPD means for us, as we can get the treatment we need to be able to handle the emotional rollercoaster that BPD is. In regards to my Autism Journey, I talk about what my testing process was like, how long it took, and also the cost, because where I live, most adult services for Autism testing is paid out of pocket which makes it highly inaccessible for many people. I am thankful to those who have spent their time sharing their own autism stories as that is what prompted me to want to get tested, and am thankful for you to give me the space to talk about what it's like now living with both BPD and Autism. Life can feel incredibly lonely sometimes so I thank you for giving me the space to unpack my own mental health. As always, feel free to reach out if you liked this episode or relate to what I've spoken about @journey.bound in instagram and be kind to yourself 🖤 sending you so much love.
37:02
June 13, 2022
Ways to Support Someone with BPD
Ways to Support Someone with BPD
In this episode, I offer 5 tips on how we can support someone on their mental health journey. The majority of messages I get from people who listen to this podcast ask how they can support their partner, loved-one, or friend who has BPD. Offering support is such a beautiful thing to do but it can also leave people feeling confused or afraid of saying the wrong thing. The 5 tips I gave are : 1. Do your Research 2. Develop Open Communication 3. Practice Empathy 4. See the individual in the diagnosis and 5. Take care of your own personal mental health. Offering support to people needs to come from a loving perspective, not from a place of judgement or thinking that you can 'cure' someone else. These tips can also be applied to other mental health situations but I tried to keep it pretty specific with how BPD operates in individuals. If you have any comments or suggestions for future episodes, please reach out on instagram @journey.bound 🖤
26:39
May 18, 2022
Feeling Low
Feeling Low
Today's episode is a bit of a ramble; I'm not feeling the greatest and I decided to just talk about the reality of how mental illness can affect my daily life. I've been feeling this sense of impending sadness over the past few days - not being able to concentrate, feeling more pain than usual, feeling restless and distracted - and when I woke up, I knew it was going to be a hard day. Some days are like this; it can last for a few minutes to a few hours to the whole day, but as I've learned how to live with myself, the days become easier to manage. If any of this resonates with you, I hope you can reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound and I can give you my support and encouragement because it is not easy. Check in on your friends. Tell people you love them. And take care of yourself because I love you and want to see you be your best self 🖤
28:53
April 27, 2022
Favourite Person Phenomenon
Favourite Person Phenomenon
In this episode, I try to breakdown the 'Favourite Person' phenomenon that seems to have become synonymous with BPD due to the rise of social media forums which speak about this topic. A 'Favourite Person' is more than a best friend or intense romantic partner; they seem to represent some type of innate need that someone is looking for i.e they provide stability or affection or help someone to feel more secure in themselves. Sometimes, this dynamic can result in possessiveness and jealousy, other times it creates an imbalance in the relationship and can quickly become toxic. Therapeutically, there isn't a lot of research around this phenomenon but since 2020, the idea of a 'Favourite Person' has grown in popularity when you look at articles related to BPD and Google searches. I can't speak for everyone's experiences, but I try to provide some context about what I've been through and what I've learned by listening to others who have been through similar situations. If this episode spoke to you or you just want to reach out, please contact me on instagram @journey.bound . I hope you know you are strong and loved and resilient; I believe in you and I am rooting for your success ❤️
33:55
April 19, 2022
Bonus - Guided Meditation
Bonus - Guided Meditation
In this bonus episode, I decided to record a Guided Meditation to encourage you to find some sense of stillness and mindfulness in your every day life. The actual meditation starts around the 2min mark, with a short introduction before we begin. I meditate to work on my emotional resiliency during times of stress and to allow myself the space to work through my emotions. This was recorded in my backyard so I hope hearing the bird sounds won't be too distracting; I actually find that they help me to focus a little more on my breath. If you enjoyed this, please reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound and let me know! I know this is slightly different than the typical episodes but I hope you enjoy it. ❤️
13:33
April 14, 2022
Psychosis and Hallucinations
Psychosis and Hallucinations
This episode was inspired by a poll on my Instagram where I asked people if they would be interested in learning more about psychosis and hallucinations, especially within a BPD context. I start by providing some definitions and examples of what psychosis is, then I talk about my own experiences and how I've come to terms with understanding my own hallucinations. 3 in every 100 people will experience a psychotic episode in their life so it is extremely important for us to destigmatize this information and continue the conversation about how it can impact our daily lives. One thing I forgot to mention is the high comorbid rates within the BPD community so it is very possible that you could have BPD and schizophrenia or some other type of psychoeffective disorder; especially if you are experiencing psychosis on a regular basis. As always, reach out to me on my Instagram @journey.bound if you want to talk, have a question, or want access to any of the research I used. I know there is still a lot of unpacking to do around this topic so I hope that you continue your own research and learn that mental health is truly an individual journey, although it can be helpful to realize that none of us are every truly alone. Sending you so much love and healing 🖤🌸
33:44
March 22, 2022
The Basics Revisited
The Basics Revisited
In this episode, I decided to go back to the basics of what BPD is. I talk about the history of this mental illness, the 9 symptoms that are associated with getting a diagnosis, and some of the critiques or controversies around this often misunderstood disorder. I wanted to revisit the format of my first episode, The Basics, as I felt like my understanding of this mental illness has changed and shifted with the more research I have done and what I've learned from other therapists and people who live with BPD. As always, feel free to reach out to me on instagram @journey.bound and let me know what you think or just to say hello. I'm really happy about being back to making episodes and I am sending you so much love on your mental health journey 🖤🌼
31:52
March 11, 2022
Season Three Intro
Season Three Intro
Hello! Welcome back to Season Three of You and Me and BPD. I am so excited to be making new episodes again and to continue to get to connect with people who live with BPD and/or autism. As I mentioned in this episode, I was re-diagnosed with BPD at the end of August, along with the new diagnosis of being on the autism spectrum so this season will be slightly different from previous seasons because I have a different understanding of my mental health and overall well-being. This is just the beginning and I am so thankful for each of you who take the time to listen and connect with what I have to share. If you want to message me or have any questions, feel free to reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound and if you want to support me further, maybe check out https://www.buymeacoffee.com/youandmeandbpd 🖤🌼 Thank you for being you.
21:16
March 03, 2022
End of Season Two
End of Season Two
This is a little rambly episode where I sign off for the winter season. Winter, to me, is a time of deep introspection and rest so like last season, this podcast will be on hiatus until the spring (or summer, depends on how I feel). Thank you so much for listening and messaging and being a part of this little corner of the internet; I never expected anyone to listen to this podcast and I am continuously surprised that you enjoy what I have to say. This was my first time talking about being diagnosed with autism, which is still something I am figuring out. Thank you Thank you Thank you for being here and sharing this life with me. Sending you so much love and I hope we can meet one day when our paths cross again. 🖤🖤🖤 (If you want to reach out, you can message me on instagram @journey.bound . I will be taking a break from that page aswell for the winter so I might not see messages straight away).
25:25
November 29, 2021
A Conversation with Cordelia
A Conversation with Cordelia
In today's episode, Cordelia and I spoke about her journey to diagnosis, what BPD is like in her daily life, and some of the ways that she makes sure that she is taking care of herself. Cordelia reached out to me on my Instagram to be a part of this podcast and I am so happy I got to interview her today and see some of the similarities and differences between how we both experience this often misunderstood disorder. My hope for this podcast was to be able to find a community of people who are willing to be honest and open about their mental health and I am so thankful to each of you who listen to my ramblings and want to share your own experiences and life stories. Thank you again to Cordelia, you were wonderful and I hope this episode helps you to feel more confident in sharing your story. As always, feel free to reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound if you have comments, questions, or want to share your own experiences.
41:09
October 28, 2021
Depression
Depression
This episode is all about depression; what the symptoms are, some of the ways I've experienced depressive states, and how important it is to allow ourselves to feel our emotions in a safe way. There is some talk about suicide and self harm, so if you are not in the best mindset to hear about these topics please keep yourself safe and skip this episode. I tried to give some tangible tips of how we can learn to process our depression by 1. Naming what we feel (even if it's many feelings at once) 2. Allowing ourself space to feel these emotions and get them out of our body (ripping paper or journaling are some of my fave ways to do this) and 3. looking for triggers so we can better understand what might put us into these depressive episodes. Depression is a complicated topic and can be hard to understand if you have never experienced this type of intense sadness, although it is my belief that everyone will experience some form of depression at least once in their life. If you are struggling, there is no shame in getting help so please look up local helplines wherever you are so you can have a "safety plan" if you really need immediate aid. As always, I love you and I hope you know you are never alone in your struggles. Reach out if you want some added encouragement or have any suggestions for this podcast on my Instagram @journey.bound. 🖤🖤
38:12
October 21, 2021
Family Matters - A Convo with My Mother
Family Matters - A Convo with My Mother
In this episode, I sat down with my Mother and had a conversation about my childhood, trauma, setting boundaries, and how we have managed to navigate our relationship while living with mental health issues. We talk about how important it is to have open forms of communication, as well as how generational teachings factor in to parent-child relationships when it comes to talking about and understanding mental health. Our relationship had not always been as open as it is now, but we have learned how to respect each other as individuals as well as learn from each other about what we need to function. As always, feel free to reach out if you have any comments or feedback about this episode on my Instagram @journey.bound. I just wanted to let you know that you are loved and I am so proud of you for being here 💜
45:25
October 02, 2021
Feeling Lonely
Feeling Lonely
In this episode, I talk about how I experience loneliness. The feeling of loneliness is one of the most human feelings we can experience, but I know that it can be hard to explain and hard to vocalize why we feel the way we do. I touch on the topic of 'spiraling' - when one emotion or thought leads to another and it feels like you are falling into a bottomless pit - as well as some of the ways that loneliness can contribute to an overwhelming sense of emptiness if we are not honest about how we feel. I made this episode because I feel lonely nearly all the time, and many of the messages I receive have to do with people telling me that this podcast has helped them to feel less lonely in their mental health journeys. As always, feel free to reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound; I will always answer your messages and send you loving thoughts. I hope you know that you are never truly alone in this world; the earth is your home and you are a beautiful part of it. I love you 🖤 stay safe 🌻
29:12
September 15, 2021
How to Explain BPD to Family & Friends
How to Explain BPD to Family & Friends
In this episode, I provide a quick rundown of what BPD is and some things that I think are important to talk about when friends and family are trying to understand what this diagnosis means. Of the most important aspects to this conversation, I think the main takeaways are to have more compassion and patience for those with BPD as it is a hard condition to live with and our triggers can exist in manifest in many different ways. There are a lot of negative stereotypes and ideas on the internet so I wanted to give a more clear understanding of what families, friends, and partners can do to support their loved ones who might be living with BPD. As always, feel free to reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound if you found this episode helpful, or if you have any other ideas/suggestions for future episodes. Thank you for being here in this world; you are truly loved. 🖤
27:54
September 07, 2021
Substance Abuse & Addiction
Substance Abuse & Addiction
2/3rds of people with BPD will struggle with Substance Abuse & Addiction issues. With the warmer weather and people starting to get excited for lockdowns to end, many of us will be put in situations where we can't hide our addictions any longer. This episode is to encourage you, spread awareness about the connection between BPD and addiction, and hopefully let you know that you are not alone in your struggles. From being addicted to food, self harm, or alcohol/drugs, addiction touches so many people in so many different ways and creates real harm for our bodies, our minds, and our relationships to the people we love. If you need help, here are a few resources...... WELLNESS TOGETHER CANADA #1-866-585-0445..... KIDS HELP PHONE #1-800-668-6868..... ADDICTIONS HOTLINE AMERICA #866-315-9123..... Please take care of yourself and find people to support you as you figure out what works for your life and what doesn't 🖤 As always, if you have any comments, questions, or suggestions for episodes, reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound
31:17
June 04, 2021
Meditation Practice Using the Breath
Meditation Practice Using the Breath
This is a short meditation practice using the breath. The actual practice starts around 12mins. These are the 4 statements we will be repeating to ourselves :::: A) Breathing in, I am aware of the in breath + Breathing out, I am aware of the out breath B) Breathing in, I am aware of the breath in my body + Breathing out, I am aware of the breath leaving my body C) Breathing in, I am calm + Breathing out, I am relaxed D) Breathing in, I am alive + Breathing out, I am here. 🖤 feel free to use any of these statements whenever you need a moment of mindfulness or to formulate your own longer practice.
20:37
May 27, 2021
Stress Management, Mindfulness & Meditation
Stress Management, Mindfulness & Meditation
Hello! Thank you a thousand times over for a year of this podcast. I am so thankful to every one of you who have given me a space to talk and connect and feel supported by this amazing online community we have created. Today's episode is about stress management, specifically how to make sure we are taking care of ourselves before things become so overwhelming we can't handle our emotions anymore. Personally, I struggle a lot with anger issues and trying to make sure I'm not taking out my negativity on the people around me so I figured maybe talking about how I handle and cope with stress/anxiety/physical pain can be a good introduction to incorporating mindfulness and meditation techniques into your life. Mindfulness, to me, is the act of being aware of your emotions and your reactions. It is a tool that can help us feel fully alive in this world, to be connected and take life one moment at a time. Meditation is a practice, something that takes dedication and effort to see results. Meditation is not 'clearing your mind of all thoughts' but rather coming home to your body, your mind, and your spirit in order to feel more at ease in this world. I truly believe that every person can benefit from having a meditation practice and I hope you check out the practice I have recorded for you to begin to learn how to meditate and use mindfulness in your every day life. As always, feel free to reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound if you have any comments or questions or just want to talk 🖤
32:55
May 27, 2021
Self Doubt
Self Doubt
In today's episode, I decided to talk about some of the self doubt I struggle with on a near constant basis. I talk a bit about Imposter Syndrome and how it relates to BPD, as well as many of my daily experiences when it comes to formulating my idea of 'self' and how I try to handle self doubt when it comes into my life. One suggestion I have for those of you who are struggling with self doubt is to take the time to really figure out who you are, not who you want to be, but what things make you YOU. I have a list of 1-4 statements/ideas which seem to be core to my sense of self that remind me of me when I start to feel myself losing touch with who I am. The last 5-10 mins of this episode is just me talking and forgetting I was recording so please just accept these honest, unedited stream of consciousness. This episode is weird 🖤 as always, reach out on Instagram @journey.bound if you want to talk or have an idea for an episode or whatever. Love you always 💗
28:31
May 14, 2021
Some Silver Linings
Some Silver Linings
In this episode, I talk about the aspect of 'reframing a situation' as it pertains to how we look at and understand what it means to live with Borderline Personality Disorder. A lot of my podcast is about spreading awareness and advocacy for the struggles we face, but honestly, it can be hard to talk from this kind of 'suffering' perspective when in reality, there are some pretty awesome things we get from living with this condition. Deep empathy, self awareness, and our intuitive way of being are a couple of the silver linings I see when I explore what BPD means to me. If you have any other silver linings or opinions about what your experience is, let me know on my Instagram @journey.bound. {{side note: I want to start monthly meditations as part of this podcast. Mindfulness and meditation have been the greatest teachers of my life and I really want to share some of my techniques with all of you. Let me know if you are interested}}
28:21
April 21, 2021
Accountability & Responsibility in Relationships : A Convo with my Husband
Accountability & Responsibility in Relationships : A Convo with my Husband
In this episode, I sit down with my husband and talk about how we handle the emotional rollercoaster of BPD in our relationship. Many of the messages I get from people who listen to the podcast are from people who are dating or married to someone with BPD so I thought a convo with my husband might provide some insight from a different perspective about what BPD means to us. We talk about apologizing and the benefits of being open with your partner, as well as how we important dialogue is when talking about issues or problems. As always, reach out if you have any comments or suggestions for future episodes on my Instagram @journey.bound.
29:58
March 28, 2021
Personal Accountability & Responsibility
Personal Accountability & Responsibility
In this episode, we look into how living with BPD or mental illnesses can affect how we are in the world and how we relate to others. Chronic mental illness changes everything about your being... how you see the world, and how you see yourself, so I think it is super important to talk about ways we can continue to hold ourselves accountable to others and responsible for our actions. In my opinion, self reflection is one of the most important parts of being able to learn from our past, how it relates to in our present, and how we can be better in the future. If we hold ourselves accountable for our actions after they have happened, we learn how to trust that we will not cause ourselves or others pain. When we learn how to be responsible before things happen, then we can gain greater agency in our lives and our emotions. As always, reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound if you have any comments, questions, or suggestions for later episodes. Thank you for being you.
30:45
February 24, 2021
Welcome to Season Two
Welcome to Season Two
Hey! It's been a while. This is a mini episode as an intro to season two of You, Me, and BPD. I am so thankful to all of you who have sent me messages about this podcast and how it has helped. Sometimes, talking into the abyss of the internet is scary, but I feel so seen and honoured to support you all on your journeys of understanding BPD and how it affects you. As always, don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions about this podcast on my Instagram page @journey.bound. Sending you all so much love.
14:48
February 18, 2021
End of Season One
End of Season One
Hello friends. First of all, thank you for being here. For existing as you do. For being who you are. This podcast has been something so fundamentally life changing and empowering and I am so thankful you have come along for the ride. Winter, for me, is always a time to rest and dive deep into who I am and where I am going, so I will be taking a break until the new year to really recuperate and learn from the lessons of what this year has taught me. Living with a mental illness is not a easy, but it can become something that gives you so much insight into yourself and why you are the way you are. I hope you find time to rest, to step away from the eyes of others and to hold space for yourself to grow. To plant seeds of growth and healing. Season Two will be more of this style of podcast; raw, emotional, just talking. That's the way I live and I hope that I can share my insights and downfalls with you over this crazy internet space. Thank you Thank you Thank you for being here. For being in this world with all of the gifts and talents you bring. I pray you find ways to create meaning in this world and that you know I am rooting for you. If you want to talk or say hi or have any comments/questions, get in touch over on Instagram @journey.bound. I'll see you in the new year. Sending you love. Stef 🖤
22:57
December 03, 2020
Fragmented Reality
Fragmented Reality
In this episode, I explain my concept of the self through the Fragmented Reality I experience on a near daily basis. I often can't recognize who I am, what I want, or how I exist in this world so I figured that it would be good to talk this out in case any of you have felt this way before. If you experience this type of fragmentation of self, I hope you know that you are not alone and that you deserve to be here in whatever way you can be. If you have any suggestions for episodes or comments about this topic, reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound and we can talk. Thanks for listening and thanks for being here along with me.
25:45
November 05, 2020
Diagnosis & Next Steps
Diagnosis & Next Steps
In this episode, I tackle the topic of receiving a diagnosis of BPD and some of the next steps you can take once you have been diagnosed. In my opinion, a diagnosis is a way to gain clarity of why you are the way you are so that you can decide what you want to work on to better yourself and your life. This suggestion was given to me by someone who listens to the podcast so I really appreciate being able to talk about my experience and give you some guidance of how you can begin to explore this world of mental illness. As always, reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound if you have any suggestions, comments, or just want to talk.
34:33
October 22, 2020
Social Media
Social Media
In this episode, I talk about my experiences with Tik Tok and Instagram; as well as how social media can impact a person's perception of themselves and having BPD. To be completely honest, I don't like social media very much because I've struggled a lot with finding my voice and dealing with the constant regret I have after posting something to my platforms, but we are social animals and sometimes it's nice to find community online. As always, reach out on Instagram @journey.bound if you have any comments, questions, or recommendations for future episodes. Hope this helps you in some way.
23:43
September 11, 2020
Black and White Thinking
Black and White Thinking
In this episode, I address the phenomenon of Black and White thinking (also known as splitting in therapeutic settings). I tried to address how it affects our way of looking at the world, some tips for how to identify this kind of viewpoint of life, and where this type of thinking might originate from. Black and White thinking can be extremely hard to navigate and understand so please take the time to do more research if this sounds like something you are struggling with. As always, reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound if you want to talk or have any episode ideas.
27:24
August 24, 2020
Stigma
Stigma
In this episode I try to break down the main causes of Stigma for those living with Mental Illnesses and how stigma within the healthcare system can often lead to a misdiagnosis of BPD. I touch on how mainstream media views those living with BPD as well as some of the gendered stigma associated with receiving this diagnosis. As always, if you want to get in touch, reach out to me on Instagram @journey.bound if you have an episode idea or just want to talk. Breaking the stigma around Mental Health disorders means many different things to many different people but since this is a podcast specifically about BPD, I tried to centre on the research and experience of this specific mental illness.
24:58
July 23, 2020
A Lack of Motivation
A Lack of Motivation
In this episode I wanted to address the common feelings of inferiority, lack of motivation, and low self esteem that many of us live with. Sometimes it can feel like we are in a battle against the world or our ideas of self, but I hope with this episode you know that you are not alone in those struggles; I hope you can see that we are all just trying to find a way to accept ourselves and each other more, despite the flaws we may have. This podcast is a way for me to unpack my own feelings while also starting conversations with those who might not be able to speak up so loudly about their own experiences. Please reach out on my Instagram @journey.bound if you want to talk or have any ideas/opinions about what future episodes I can make. I hope that we can find community in our shared experiences.
24:44
July 06, 2020
Dating & Diagnosis : A Convo With My Husband
Dating & Diagnosis : A Convo With My Husband
In this episode, I sat down with my husband and reflected on our first year of dating and how BPD affected our initial relationship. We met in summer 2015 and I got diagnosed in January of 2016, so my husband saw all the ups and downs that lead to me finally receiving a diagnosis. It was a hectic, intense, and emotional time but here we are, being able to reflect back and share what we learned. Hopefully, this can help offer some insight into what dating is like while living with BPD and how it might affect your partnership.
29:02
June 12, 2020
The Passage of Time
The Passage of Time
In this episode, I wanted to touch on the ways that traumatic experiences can trigger dissociation for those who live with BPD. I explained a bit about the theoretical ways that dissociation is understood, as well as the ways I’ve experienced trauma and believe that the dissociation I experience is a result of that trauma.
17:10
June 05, 2020
The Basics
The Basics
This is episode 1 of You and Me and BPD. I tried to provide a background of the symptoms of this disorder, some of the complications in getting a diagnosis, and a little bit of context of my own experiences living with this disorder.
18:32
May 28, 2020