My dog will eat my face

Further updates to my long battle for my hospice rights and care. If you, or someone you know is in hospice, pondering hospice, or similar situation, this podcast may be quite useful. Or not. You get what pay for, after-all. Your current balance due is zero. Although, I would accept a real large goose egg. That'd make my day. Dunno why.

The day I utmost feared has now come and passed. With it, some fears, but new challenges present themselves. Gee.... just like every other day in life!

Many things have changed in recent weeks, very suddenly, and not giving much hope. The quote used in the title here, I use with hope that I too am as mistaken as Frederick.

While I provide weekly updates as best I can, I think it's prudent to take a step back, and observe how my condition has changed over the past months or even years. Some observations may be surprising.

After planning a podcast topic this week, I was thwarted at the last moment by an unfortunate event. It's high time I provide the necessary disclaimer: I'm a freak of nature.

Well, I finally got what I've been asking my hospice team for, for many years. Blood work. I didn't get all of the results that I wanted, but what I did get is not unlike being pardoned for your planned execution by quartering, but rather being told you merely only have to endure abacination.

In this podcast I find myself struggling with anger, which has been tearing me down for years. I need to thwart this anger, and not turn to savagery.

I've learned one important thing in my life, and that is to say what you need to say to others when you can. It's not only good best practice, but an obligation we all have.

I dared to have a short conversation with someone who seems to cherish and love their drama and victimhood. How they responded surprised me.

I explore recent issues where I find myself lamenting the loss of my own identity. I question if I need to redefine myself, or has that not really changed?

I originally planned to not record any podcasts during the holidays, but had to squeeze one in after hearing perhaps the most naive and asinine theistic phrase for the entire previous year.

I'm normally quite "the Grinch" or "Scrooge" this time of year. But, even with physical problems, I seemed to find heaps of laughter and joy. It's not too hard to find. My secret; I'm too lazy to be sad or angry for more than a couple days.

I had a conversation with a hospice nurse I never met before, and she asked how could I be at peace with death. I couldn't give any abbreviated answer, but here is my subsequent attempt to do so.

I share three impactful moments in my life that are prime examples of ableism, a concept I long shunned because it sounded silly to me. But moreover, I resisted any labeling that may cast me as a "victim." Well, I was wrong. Very wrong.

In the episode published close to Thanksgiving, I share a different perspective that I have formulated over the years where having gratitude does not stop at the end of positive experiences.

A continuation of my last podcast, where I try to address the emotional issues that I experience in my long decline with Congestive Heart Failure.

When I begun this podcast some time ago, I composed an episode of what it's like to die of congestive heart failure (CHF). Having now been several years into this long transition, I think this topics could be more accurately addressed today.

Despite worsening health issues, which I will discuss with some brevity, I wanted to share the details of those who I adore with all my heart and who, even now, is the best part of my life.

We all have this occasional feelings if miss opportunities, and "what ifs" - how we may have missed a chance to improve our lives, even if fleeting. I had such a moment recently, but here I share how I have, actually, made the right choices in life.

I abhor victimization, and have never fallen into the trap of relinquishing that power over my happiness to others. Despite fleeting temptation, don't do this. And I'll explain why.

A new health scare has reared its ugly head, and I need to somehow find out what it even is. Also, I need to brush up my Welsh.

In a recent conversation with my hospice nurse, she asked particular questions that got me thinking. Specifically, am I "spiritual" or is there a better word?

In this podcast I provide a short health update, and then do my part to never forget a horrific event. Did you forget?

As I struggle to keep my life moving and facing terrible fatigue, I must find a way to be at peace with how I live today, to be able to accept whatever may come tomorrow.

Changes within my body in recent weeks have been mostly good, only some bad, but all of it is utterly confusing.

After the trials and tribulations of the past few months, I've faced an arduous task of rebuilding and returning to my normal, boring life. Sometimes you don't realize the value of something, until it's lost.

Yet again, after all the bad events in my life, the enduring potty pad saga continues. This time it includes a visit from the police!

Where have I been for the last month or so? Unfortunately, nowhere good. It was a journey through a viscous psychotic episode, a nursing home, and back again.

I wanted to give a full episode, as a sort of tribute, to my best friend. While only 20 lbs, and covered in fur, my best friend (prior and current) gives me tremendous support throughout all the years. He has been and continues to be essential help throughout my disease.

Last week I was caught in a rather depressive and exhausted state. When seeing a different counselor today, I had an epiphany that I used to slowly overcome much of this angst.

This podcast essentially is an unscripted explanation of the weeks of sadness I've had, and it has oozed to the top, putting me in a rather despondent state. I try to talk through it, and surprisingly, find some comfort within myself.

While not true in a literal sense, I am in the morally sense. What that means and how you will be on the cover too.

Grown utterly sick of the standard medical advice, I provide a proper solution for CHF sufferers. No, I have no medical degree.

Major shifts in my battle against CHF have turned me down a dark road. I don't know when it will heh even worse still, but I'm afraid to ask.

I've fallen victim to terrible psychological disposition that can strike at any time, and can cause more damage than just that to your intelligence, but to your sense of self. It's real. Is here. And I'm it's latest victim.

Ugh, I have not been doing well. I hope it's not a "new normal" for me. This is a brief health update for those who are interested. A thousands pardons for it being so brief, I hope to make a more complete podcast when I get my voice back (no more punk rock mosh pits and hockey games for me 😞)

As I manage my grim disability budget, I chased down some research relating to how power companies can very well kill their customers.

No matter how hard you may try, some people may just not like you; or even hate you. Be warned, but don't fret.