In much of my writing on addiction and self-improvement, I delve deep into my own personal experience. My hope is to connect with and empower others who feel held back in similar ways.
But now I’d like to take a different tact. I’ll be sharing mostly from “the literature” about how to break free from the root pains and shame lurking at the core of entrenched addictions and other limiting behaviors.
Sex addiction (or compulsive sex) is a great example of addiction becoming a bad relationship with something good or valuable. We in the west might be approaching sex in exactly the wrong way if the goal is to make the experience (the relationship) as enjoyable and meaningful as it can be.
A mature perspective is the key to overcoming addictions and other unhelpful forces in your life. Maturity comes from being unable to avoid seeing your values, hindrances, and state for exactly what they are.
Instead of trying to plan or force your way out of addiction, just SEE as much of who you are (your values) as you can. Then your perspective changes, and you watch yourself start to live as the person you most want to be.
“Why does everyone else seem so happy, together, free…?”
“What do they all know that I don’t?”
“Am I the only one that…?”
Have you ever felt more real than the people you’re surrounded by?
It’s not that you feel superior or want to be celebrated; you just wish you could connect with others, but most seem forever preoccupied with superficial distractions you can’t help but find unimportant.