almost human...
By A.K. Finn
almost human...Oct 02, 2018
Facing Addiction - DAY 23 | What we tell ourselves #3 (how to always be right/wrong)
What you should do in most situations is probably obvious. So why don’t you? Why isn’t knowing how much better it would be to do what you know you should enough of a motivation to actually do it?
Facing Addiction - DAY 22 | What we tell ourselves #2 (which came first: the thought or the feeling?)
If your thoughts are skewed by your limited state (via addiction or whatever else holds you back), could thoughts ever be used to change your state? What about your behavior? Learn to bypass and unravel unhelpful, deceptive conscious thoughts as you access the power of deeper unconscious knowledge buried beneath.
Facing Addiction - DAY 21 | What we tell ourselves #1 (intuition or indulgence)
We’ve been looking at the power of going public with your real experience to grow and change your life. But anything you consciously attempt to portray will be fraught with dishonesty and self-indulgence, putting you in your own way. Growth comes when you can cut through your own current filters by seeing and being as close to real as possible (over time) instead of being intentional.
Facing Addiction - DAY 20 | When you’re ready #2 (integration potential)
Seeing the big picture of your life means gaining a sense of the unknowable, ever-shifting balance of unique forces either pushing you forward or holding you back. So how can all your pushing, driving forces—your “whys” (your reasons for wanting to change) surpass the hindering forces—your addictions, compulsions, personal limitations…?
Facing Addiction - DAY 19 | When you’re ready #1 (unbearable feelings)
Today I dig into my own unbearable feeling of having wasted my most precious years: a fear of being frozen forever in inability, of wasted potential, of lost innocence or sense of adventure… Could a wider perspective reveal that nothing was really lost? Maybe there’s no need to beat yourself up for “wasting potential.” It’s a beautiful thing to see even your worst mistakes, tragedies, loss, and regrets all being somehow woven into a far bigger, richer picture or story.
Facing Addiction - DAY 18 | Another movement
Your reputation and responsibilities to others are only about as powerful a source of motivation to change as a fear of getting caught. Such indirect forces are too easy to negotiate with and ignore. But what can’t be outrun or hidden from are the values and beliefs you see yourself claiming publically over time.
Facing Addiction - DAY 17 | When will I start? #2 (slicing off your bottom lip)
Could going public with your real experience hold you accountable to return from addiction to a state of balance and control? Instead of trying to force yourself to quit something you’ve never been able to before, what if you could return to your real reasons for first doing/using whatever it is? No matter what, you didn’t start out as an addict.
Facing Addiction - DAY 16 | When will I start? #1 (good questions collecting dust)
Do you really have to hit rock bottom before you can hope to change? Is there no other way to grasp the importance of actually doing what you’ve never been able to before? How can you believe in yourself again (now) after having watched yourself fail time after time?
Facing Addiction - DAY 15 | Cost
Addicts are adept at self-deception, lying to themselves about being able to “quit anytime they choose,” and about just how much of their lives and resources really go toward getting their fix. Is it possible to limit your own ability to deceive yourself?
Facing Addiction - DAY 14 | “Final” blowout
Are addictions something you can ever get out of your system by binging? Today I walk through a typical week of addiction to share the reality of planning “final blowouts” every weekend for years . . . only to never actually quit come Monday.
Facing Addiction - DAY 13 | That’s it
It’s easy to always leap from a desperate longing for change to ever newer and shinier how-to plans; but could planning really just be hiding . . . putting off what you know you need to do as you (again) reconsider how? Could planning and strategizing be a comforting way to avoid actually changing NOW?
Facing Addiction - DAY 12 | Devil’s Lettuce—full circle
How many perfect plans to change have you watched yourself fail? Is a better plan really the answer?
Facing Addiction - DAY 11 | Put me out
Could seeing what your life looks like from the outside help you change your life? Going public with your journey of becoming the person you want to be is powerful; it shows you where you’re really at and what must come next (in an unavoidable way). So should you just go out right now and haphazardly fling the depths of your afflicted soul somewhere?
Facing Addiction - DAY 10 | Making more friends
Has recording your intentions over time ever made ignoring them more and more difficult? Has making your intentions known ever helped you follow through on them? Today I share how my addiction hindered my desire to reach out and connect with others; my hypothesis all along was that sharing about my addiction (while still addicted) would help me gain control and fulfill my desire to connect.
Facing Addiction - DAY 9 | Going in #2 (Devil’s Lettuce)
Are addictive/compulsive tendencies ever really effective at masking or solving deeper problems? Won’t those core issues just splay out in new and woeful ways when you try to run or hide from them? Objective perspective over time can help you uncover where you really went wrong, showing you what you need to do next to put your life back together.
Facing Addiction - DAY 8 | Going in #1 (my going-nowhere woes)
How does addiction affect your feelings about yourself, your state, your abilities, your future...? Have you ever felt unable to move forward in life no matter how hard you try?
Facing Addiction - DAY 7 | The test #2 (slowed down and in-between)
What first drew you to whatever you’re addicted to? Has addiction kept your real reasons for doing/using whatever it is from being fulfilled? Maybe let questions like these sit beneath the surface and collect in time the dust of your truest convictions and driving intuitions. Could whatever drew you to whatever you’re addicted to actually help you overcome your addiction?
Facing Addiction - DAY 6 | The test #1 (spiders and the sudden-sobriety fuzz)
Forcing yourself to resist the pull of your addiction can feel incredibly gloomy and unpleasant, consuming all your focus and drive. What happens when all your convictions for change get lost in the fuzz of sudden sobriety?
Facing Addiction - DAY 5 | Wrote while high?
Dreams and passions can be some of the clearest signposts to reveal potential you’re currently being kept from reaching. Can addictions and other personal imitations keep you from achieving (or even knowing) your dreams?
Facing Addiction - DAY 4 | Inner battle
Can drug experiences ever be beautiful or valuable? What if they’re scary or unpleasant? What if you’re addicted to the drug? To balance out the idea of weed’s “magic” and “value,” I share a particularly negative high experience that affected me deeply early on.
Facing Addiction - DAY 3 | Less is more
How much better or more beneficial would what you’re compelled to do be if you could wait for the right time for it? Are certain experiences better or more special when you can have them less often?
Facing Addiction - DAY 2 | Magic
As addiction pushes you to use/consume/do more and more, tolerance and imbalance rob the experience of its magic and value. Can that balance be restored? Is control possible after addiction? The magic (or value) of what I was addicted to seemed worth facing and overcoming the addiction for. That’s partly why balance and control have been my goals instead of lifelong abstinence.
Facing Addiction - DAY 1 | My name is and I
Held back by marijuana addiction, I set out in hopes of answering a single question: Could sharing your experience help improve your experience—could sharing help you overcome whatever’s keeping your experience from being as enjoyable or fruitful as it could be? Failing plan after plan to change, I was left with a single underlying hypothesis to test: that all I really had to do was go public with my real addiction experience, and then my addiction would essentially take care of itself.
Moving Meditation - A mask
Can identity ever be free and unique in a world of imposed standards and ideals? Can anyone actually be an individual when systems of quick categorization constantly divide us seemingly to our core to make us useful?
Moving Meditation - Exercise and health
Let your body show you how it wants to move. Then, instead of doubling down on some “perfect” plan or strategy, always be learning and implementing your own unique and evolving methodology when it comes to health and exercise.
Moving Meditation - Going public as a motivation
Standing up and letting your body move however it wants to shows you how you’ll need to prepare yourself, physically, to live the life you want; and finding a way to share your story or journey holds you accountable to that life.
Moving Meditation - A history of movement
Ever get high and just sort of feel your body wanting to move a certain way? What if letting yourself go with it (high or not) could mean tapping into something truly transcendent and unique to the core of your being?
Moving Meditation - The essence of martial arts
Standing and allowing your body to move freely for no set time can capture the essence of everything about martial arts except for the actual fighting moves.
Moving Meditation - You and your body
Find motivation and direction to reverse the effects of aging when you stand up and let your body to move however it wants to for no set time (the way children do).
Worth the Responsibility - Hearing Voices (Addiction and Conscience)
Once you can’t ignore what you should be doing, the voice of your conscience gets uglier and uglier the longer you keep putting it off.
Worth the Responsibility - Facing Shame
In much of my writing on addiction and self-improvement, I delve deep into my own personal experience. My hope is to connect with and empower others who feel held back in similar ways.
But now I’d like to take a different tact. I’ll be sharing mostly from “the literature” about how to break free from the root pains and shame lurking at the core of entrenched addictions and other limiting behaviors.
Worth the Responsibility - Sex Addiction
Sex addiction (or compulsive sex) is a great example of addiction becoming a bad relationship with something good or valuable. We in the west might be approaching sex in exactly the wrong way if the goal is to make the experience (the relationship) as enjoyable and meaningful as it can be.
Worth the Responsibility - When You Can’t Keep Ignoring (Addiction and Maturity)
Worth the Responsibility - Chased by Dragons (Addiction and Identity)
Worth the Responsibility - Now a legitimate Responsibility
Happy Cool Motivational Speaker
Almost Human
“What do they all know that I don’t?”
“Am I the only one that…?”
Have you ever felt more real than the people you’re surrounded by?
It’s not that you feel superior or want to be celebrated; you just wish you could connect with others, but most seem forever preoccupied with superficial distractions you can’t help but find unimportant.