The Unhooked Podcast
By Annie Highwater
Names, and minor details have been changed to preserve anonymity, but the experiences are real, raw and true. The purpose of this podcast is to let you know you're NOT alone. The world falls apart for everyone at some point, but ANYONE can recover and rise.
The Unhooked Podcast Mar 16, 2021
Lessons Learned, Annie with Ben pt 1
Bringing back a favorite, "My brother's friend Ben" is back with us today as we discuss experiences, strength and hope from some of the most trying times of life!
Listen to Part 1 and email your thoughts to:
Annieunhooked@gmail.com
Bear one another’s burdens…but shoulder your own load.
“You work on your side of the street… and I’ll tend to mine.” I say it often in more than one of my family relationships.
It’s a way of shaking loose from old patterns of enmeshment. I have learned if I don’t guard my time, energy, and peace, no one else will either.
Bear one another’s burdens—that’s support, kindness, empathy, safety…that’s showing up, being there.
And we don’t have to do any of it alone, when those burdens and loads become too much to bear…we have One to call upon who promises to do the heavy lifting.
Faith, hope and love,
Annie
Taking Space from People in our lives (without Guilt)
I tend to default to “all or nothing” thinking when it comes to thoughts around family members close to my heart. Especially if there’s any type of risk involved. Conflict, relapse, health, death…etc. My mind goes immediately to the scariest, most fatalistic, defeatist possibilities before I coach it back toward hope, calm and faith.
For instance…if an argument ensues and gets heated, my thoughts are often that it will be the end of the relationship, and that becomes what I believe I’m fighting for.
Realizing this inner process, I do know that often space is a good thing.
The key is in understanding that it’s not all or nothing and doesn’t have to mean the end of everything.
It doesn’t need to be forever or even span years and decades. It can actually just be for a time.
Listen in to hear a recovery related perspective of taking breaks from people in our lives.
“If one person in a family or relational dynamic does work to heal, the situation is bound to improve.”
Let faith, hope and love rebuild the house.
Prayer:
Lord, help us in seasons of separation to call You down into the void, calm and comfort the emotions that rise and lead us to healing, wisdom, renovation, and restoration according to Your great love, mercy and kindness for each of us.
Peace to you,
Annie
SUD/Addiction is not an issue of prodigal or sin! It’s a complex health and medical condition
A person struggling with an addiction, contrary to what many in a faith-based belief system may think… is not the same as a prodigal son, or an evil person. Though their behavior may align with dishonesty or wickedness at times. They’re being tormented by evil, as much as their behavior is causing pain and torment, sorrow and damage in the lives around them.
The cycles of addiction are rarely (as in the case of the Prodigal Son in Luke chapter 15), a situation of leaving the home once…and then returning to loved ones and family for permanent restoration, with gifts and a party to celebrate! As was the case in that story.
Receiving someone back into the home over and over with gifts and a celebration isn’t always wise when addiction is active. This is a situation unique to any of our usual problem solving, people relating skills. It requires lots of wisdom, patience, compassion, and the courage to set healthy boundaries as we work out our patterns of responding.
It’s a process.
SUD and addiction are complex.
How the condition began… whether trauma, injury, experimenting or whatever the situation from which it first ignited… all are unique and complicated. No two stories are exactly alike.
Upon realizing the tornado of substance abuse was resident in my home, I can remember in desperation turning to leaders of our church, who were clearly at a loss. Yet several gave one-line answers regarding parenting, discipline, and directing me to the promises of Scripture that applied to sickness or the “sin” of our ordeal.
I often sensed judgment for a lack of faith, and an attitude that a lack of “righteousness” was probably the root cause of our struggle. Where might we (me especially) have got it wrong to incur such terrible consequence?
Never mind that John 9:2 describes a man who was sick and those wondering which sin in the family caused it were rebuked that it was for God’s glory…
Never mind Job’s friends, known as “miserable comforters,” pronouncing fault on him for his own suffering, and God rebuked those friends Job 42:7-17 directing Job to pray for them as part of his healing and restoration…
Blame and misjudgment are prevalent in many church settings. What those dynamics have in common with the unchurched world is that they solve no problems and do no good.
Safe, respectful accountability and kind, productive truth speaking are not the same as blame, accusation, mis-judgment and condemnation.
Not even close.
We get it so wrong in faith systems sometimes (I know I sure did, I believed my fair share of condemning notions!), we miss great opportunities to bind up one another’s wounds and offer hope, support, guidance, and healing.
The good news is that with awareness and mindfulness, we can elevate in this area and do better.
1 Corinthians 13 says “Love does not fail.” (Love can be healthy and self-respecting).
Shame shrinks hope, wisdom and kindness open hearts.
Faith, hope and love,
Annie
Unhooked, Recovery and Faith ?
Can the Bible effect addiction and recovery? Does faith play a role? What if your community of faith has been a painful, abusive, condemning and outcasting experience and you've been damaged?
How can faith then apply and parlay into helping relationships surging with conflict, addiction, alcohol or dysfunction?
These are some painful, deep questions I have struggled with in my own life. I don't pretend to have all the answers even still! But I'm happy and eager to have the conversations.
In this new season of The Unhooked Podcast we will take an honest look into all things recovery when it comes to addiction, alcoholism, recovery and "church folk."
Recovery story and what's to come 2022!
The “Unhooked Podcast” can also be heard on Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found. Check it out! 👇
Mom to Mom, meet KL Wells and hear her story!
KL is a community leader, influential speak and a Mother. For more than 20 years she collaborated with hundreds of non-profit organizations, effectively leading iniatives with CEOs, senior executives, board directors, trustees, and philanthropists that have attracted hundreds of millions of dollars to ignite organizational and community-wide change.
She recently changesd the course of her career where her mission for helping families and parents of addicted loved ones has inspired her to launch VoiceInCourage, which is an emerging community that provides instrumental resources for individuals who need to heal, connect and grow during some of the most challenging times of their lives.
Listen in as KL Wells openly shares her journey and the perspective that have given her so much comfort and hope while navigating a situation near and dear to my own heart—the struggles of an addicted child.
You connect with KL Wells at www.VoicesInCourage.com
The “Unhooked Podcast” can also be heard on Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found. Check it out! 👇
Feelings of Jealousy and Envy
This episode of “The Unhooked Podcast” 🥊 takes a look at: “Feelings of Jealousy and envy.”
Just to keep it real...it can sometimes be hard to see others living their BEST lives, seeing pictures of holidays, weddings, graduations, social media perfection (or running into them in the grocery store as we are dying on the inside), when we are going through one of our WORST seasons of life. What do we do when it hurts to see and wish others well, because our lives seem to be on hold?
Or...even disastrous.
When our kids, partner, or family are off running wild and involved in scary behaviors, when all we want is "normal?" It's common to feel those pangs of jealousy and embarrassment from time to time—listen in as I personally relate!
The “Unhooked Podcast” can also be heard on Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found. Check it out! 👇
Shadow Beliefs, Behavior Patterns and Schemas
“The Unhooked Podcast” 🥊 In this episode of the Unhooked Podcast, the topic is: “Shadow Beliefs, Patterns and Schemas.”
Those inner, hidden, underlying belief patterns that lead us back to the same old behaviors, and the same old pain. Can we heal them?
Listen in to hear knowledge shared from the experts and the rooms of recovery!
The Unhooked Podcast can also be heard on Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found.
Check it out! 👇
Why you shouldn't give up!
The Unhooked Podcast 🥊
“Why you should never give up!”
These last 18 months have been some of the most brutal days for my family, to be honest I thought about throwing in the towel more than a few times.
Listen in as I share why it was important that I not give up - and why it matters that you don't either!
The Unhooked Podcast can also be heard on Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found. Check it out! 👇
Surviving a Wilderness Season
“Surviving the wilderness”
There are seasons of life that simply knock the breath out of us.
If you (or someone you know) are dealing with adversity, crisis, chaos and trauma...this episode of the Unhooked Podcast might be helpful.
Tips for managing our way through the hardest times of life align well with survival skills we use to guide us through the wilderness!
Check out this episode of "The Unhooked Podcast" about the benefits of opening the door to your heart to get it out, and when it's wise to hold our peace and sit on our "stuff."
"The Unhooked Podcast" can be heard using this Anchor link, or on other platforms such as Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found.
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How Many Friends Have Deleted You lately?
• How many friends have deleted you lately?
In this short episode we take a look at applying recovery principles to the way people handle differences of beliefs and opinions these days.
(Note: for the sake of clarity, when it comes to keeping in mind that you could be wrong when you go at someone - regarding the part about the message I received in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, it's interesting that the point this person felt she needed to make ended up being incorrect. She came out of no where, furious, shaming and finger wagging...only to be inaccurate.)
Can we take a breath before we write someone off (or cuss them out) about how they view things?
Listen in and please email your thoughts to: Annieunhooked@gmail.com
Check it out!
Don't Talk, Don't Trust, Don't Feel
“Don't Talk, Don't Trust, Don't Feel,” those are the unspoken rules for families with communication problems.
Listen to this episode of "The Unhooked Podcast" for examples, experiences and counsel from the rooms when it comes to not being able to communicate with family members, or those we are in relationship with.
"The Unhooked Podcast" can be heard using this Anchor link, or on other platforms such as Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found.
Check it out!
Unending Arguments
Unending Arguments
You know those conflicts that spring up but never seem to have an end? The bottom-less pit kind of arguments, they return frequently and the awkward and sometimes even heated feelings rise up anytime we speak of the subject, or cross paths with anyone involved...
Listen in to this episode of the "Unhooked Podcast" to hear wisdom from the rooms when it comes to dealing with people who push our buttons!
"The Unhooked Podcast" can be heard using this Anchor link, or on other platforms such as Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found.
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Everyone Needs Support
“Everyone Needs Support”
We all need support, every last one of us. No one gets it right all the time and none of us can handle the heavy things on our own.
Even animals and birds, even trees need support! Our pets often know exactly how to support us.
Listen in to this brief episode of the "The Unhooked Podcast" to hear about the benefits of support from family, friends and rooms we can trust.
"The Unhooked Podcast" can be heard using this Anchor link, or on other platforms such as Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found.
Check it out! 👇
"Woe is Me" (how to manage the Eyeores in your life with wisdom and healthy kindness.)
There's always a crisis, an upset, a down side and a problem; and usually even a problem with the solution to the problem!
Listen in to this quick hitter episode of the Unhooked Podcast, with input from the rooms when it comes to dealing with those who constantly call with chronic problems, and never ending bad news.
"The Unhooked Podcast" can be heard using this Anchor link, or on other platforms such as Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found.
Check it out!
What do I do when drama and chaos ERUPT??!!
Hear about the "Drama Triangle" and listen to a few points about High Conflict Personalities, which we may all cross paths with (or even be ourselves) from time to time.
The good news is - we don't HAVE to get swept up in every tornado of chaos, or accept every invitation to drama!
"The Unhooked Podcast" can be heard using this Anchor link, or on other platforms such as Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found.
Check it out!
Talking about our "stuff," what good does it do?
(Our dysfunction...our "junk.")
One thing I know, feelings need oxygen to dissipate, once they hit the air healing can begin.
It doesn't mean unload to every checkout clerk or radio show, some things we need to work through before we share them...and it's definitely crucial to be careful to reveal our treasured personal information to people who are SAFE to tell sensitive things to.
One of my favorite examples of releasing what's within is the story of a small tribe a missionary lived with' they'd been through intense suffering and misery, yet were known to be the most friendly, positive, happiest group of people in their area. Listen to find out why!
Check out this episode of "The Unhooked Podcast" about the benefits of opening the door to your heart to get it out, and when it's wise to hold our peace and sit on our "stuff."
"The Unhooked Podcast" can be heard using this Anchor link, or on other platforms such as Itunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found.
Check it out!
10 Types of Dysfunctional thinking
Listen to this "Unhooked Podcast" and hear how we can sometimes veer into wrong thinking in the midst of struggle.
The Unhooked Podcast can also be found on Itunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music and wherever most podcasts can be downloaded.
Check it out!
How to know if you or someone you know has a problem with alcohol...and the Sinclair Method
It's good to stop and check yourself now and then to see if there might be some changes necessary in order to be as healthy as possible and that includes our relationship with alcohol (even when it comes to fun, acceptable, social drinking).
Check out this episode of the Unhooked Podcast and ask yourself some of the questions that might be indicators that it's time to take a break, or make a change.
Or pass it along to someone who might benefit from knowing the specific signs of struggle.
This episode concludes with information about the Sinclair Method, an option of alcohol treatment for those with a severe struggle, or anyone who feels unable to stop cold turkey. The Sinclair Method is gradual and gentle, with lots of support and solutions...and an amazing success rate for those hoping to achieve sobriety.
(The Sinclair Method can be used for alcohol treatment - as well as for help and relief from opiate dependency.)
Listen in, check it out, pass it on!
The Unhooked Podcast can also be found on Itunes, Google Play Music, Spotify, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found. Check it out!
Have a Healthy Amends Process
Having an intentional process means we can live free of guilt and regret, as well as freedom from taking ownership for the moods, attitudes and rudeness of others!
Listen in, check it out, pass it on!
The Unhooked Podcast can also be found on Itunes, Google Play Music, Spotify, Stitcher and wherever most podcasts can be found. Check it out!
What do I do when I am OVERWHELMED by fear?
The Unhooked Podcast is also available on Spotify, Itunes, Google Play Music, Stitcher, Overcast and where most podcasts can be heard.
Listen in and check it out!
New Season
Jessica Pt. 2
Back again for Part ii with a friend from the rooms!
Continuing...
Jessica shares openly; she doesn't pull punches, even when it comes to the notion that her "own default is crazy." I get it! Trust me.
I love listening to her in the rooms. Hearing, "I'm Jessica..." also signals me to sit up and listen because she is about to share. I know she will describe something wild, hard, fearful or painful that she has been through, and then land that plane with self-discovery, ownership and ultimately—victory.
Jessica is proof positive that there is just something about those rooms...that works (if you work it).
Listen in to the first half of her story as Jessica brings the recovery!
The Unhooked Podcast can also be found on Itunes, Google Play Music, Spotify, Stitcher, Overcast and wherever most podcasts can be found.
Check it out!
Jessica Pt. 1
Back again with a friend from the rooms!
Jessica shares openly...she doesn't pull punches, even when it comes to the notion that her "own default is crazy." I get it! Trust me.
I love listening to her in the rooms. Hearing, "I'm Jessica..." also signals me to sit up and listen because she is about to share. I know she will describe something wild, hard, fearful or painful that she has been through, and then land that plane with self-discovery, ownership and ultimately—victory.
Jessica is proof positive that there is just something about those rooms...that works (if you work it).
Listen in to the first half of her story as Jessica brings the recovery!
The Unhooked Podcast can also be found on Itunes, Google Play Music, Spotify, Stitcher, Overcast and wherever most podcasts can be found.
Check it out!
Scott From the Rooms Pt. 2
Bouncing back after a cruel, cruel summer with a brand new pod!
Part II of the Unhooked conversation is with Scott, a dear friend from the Nar Anon Rooms of Recovery.
Scott's story has twists and turns that anyone can relate to. From being introduced to his Father later in life, and finding out his Dad had been signed to play professional baseball, spent decades jumping on trains and being homeless, to finding his way into the rooms of recovery and changing lives him...
Onto Scott's marriage that led him through the heartache and turmoil of a spouse addicted to powerful prescriptions...
To years later seeing the disease show up in his beautiful, young son. Scott dove into recovery and absorbed the healing in ways that have carried him through the valley of the shadow of death. He is a wonderful example of beauty for ashes, strength, kindness and the fine people we find in the rooms.
Tune in to Unhooked to hear the second half of Scott's incredible story!
Scott From the Rooms Pt. 1
Bouncing back after a cruel, cruel summer with a brand new pod!
This Unhooked conversation is with Scott, a dear friend from the Nar Anon Rooms of Recovery.
Scott's story has twists and turns that anyone can relate to. From being introduced to his Father later in life, and finding out his Dad had been signed to play professional baseball, spent decades jumping on trains and being homeless, to finding his way into the rooms of recovery and changing lives around him...
Onto Scott's marriage that led him through the heartache and turmoil of a spouse addicted to powerful prescriptions...
To years later seeing the disease show up in his beautiful, young son.
Scott dove into recovery and absorbed the healing in ways that have carried him through the valley of the shadow of death. He is a wonderful example of beauty for ashes, strength, kindness and the fine people we find in the rooms.
Tune in to Unhooked to hear the first half of Scott's incredible story!
Joseph, a Friend from Twitter
Joseph, a former TV Meteorologist, gives an eye opening description of what it's like to work in that drama driven atmosphere and the tools he discovered as he took a deep "inner dive" into who he is and what he wants to do with his life .
Listen in and check him out! Twitter: @humbleuhost
The Stuck Stops Here! Podcast Host Tami Atman
Tami Atwood, Host and Creator of the Podcast, "The Stuck Stops Here," about dealing with toxic family has done the deep, often excruciating work to analyze herself, her pathologies and to heal her life.
She is not a therapist, clinician or life-coach…she is simply someone who faced her life and found a way to transform her wounds into wisdom.
As her webpage page describes it: “How I broke the cycle of generational dysfunction, one Aha moment at a time.”
Many times I refer to my recovery journey as a "Patchwork Process," listen in to Tami share her own process of healing that was custom built to fit her life as well.
Whatever it takes to heal - we all have work to do!
When Things are Stressful and Strange, Applying Recovery with Ruth and Beau
We are definitely living in trying, unpredictable times!
This week on the Unhooked Podcast, friends Ruth and Beau return and bring the recovery for times that are strange, stressful and uncertain. If you are feeling intense pressure, and feeling alone in it...listen in to the concepts of recovery that we have found comforting and helpful in trying times.
The Unhooked Podcast can also be downloaded on Itunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music and wherever most podcasts can be heard.
Sean, Recovering Husband and Family Member
One of my favorite people this week, Sean from the rooms I personally attend.
Sean, often called the "Tea Guy" for his masterful way of finding peace when chaos hits, brings the recovery and stories that are all too relatable in this episode of the Unhooked Podcast.
Listen in as he describes the journey of his young family!
Cara - Recovering Family Member, Writer and Creator of "My Girlfriend Voice"
Cara recently shared her story of being painfully affected by the addiction of her son, in an article I posted on my Recovery Writer Facebook page, (You can read it here: https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/my-sweet-baby-my-firstborn-son-is-homeless-mentally-ill-and-addicted-to-heroin/?fbclid=IwAR0mHpTaj-nLuZbAJCcKLym143ymaIp_0zW6me8PTQsvYUxSotc35yI2kLM)
She is easily recognized as someone that the term “Wounded Healer” applies to and has moved through the pain and adversity within her family, to find peace and strength in the midst of harsh circumstances. Nothing I respect more!
Cara is the creator if a unique webpage called “My Girlfriend Voice,” check her out! mygirlfriendvoice.com/ Listen in and check her out!
Kylie
Today’s "Unhooked" conversation is with someone I connected with over social media, which I love. She is someone who gets it.
Kylie generously shares her story of being deeply affected by addiction with more than one family member (like many of us), which includes the death of her Mother. As I said, she gets it and she is open about it. We need more like her! People who share their experience help us all find comfort in the fact that we are not alone. To quote her from her page, Addicts Ripple... "Everyone wants to feel like they relate to someone.
Unless you have lived this life, or suffered a loss of this magnitude you won't understand it." That is speaking my language, our language. It is SO true. Which is why support is life saving, in my opinion.
Listen in as Kylie and I discuss the effects on your own personality when it comes to loving someone who has an addiction; from becoming an over-analyzer, to repeating relationship conflict within friendships...she shares a similar journey of realization and the patchwork process of healing and recovering from patterns of dysfunction.
You can find Kylie on Facebook as well as her personal page : https://addictsripple.com/ Listen in and check her out!
Janelle Explains the Healing Process of IASIS
Greek word "IASIS" meaning: Healing. There are many types, paths and processes when it comes to healing and recovery.
Recently, I have become curious about the process and healing effects of a treatment called, IASIS. So I thought I would record a podcast as I learn about it myself!
Janelle, a recovering family member as well as a trained and certified IASIS practitioner returns to the podcast to educate us and answer questions, as well as describe who Micro Current Neuro Feedback might be a helpful for.
Listen in as she shares stories and successes ranging from addiction, PTSD, anxiety to autism, We find it to be fascinating stuff! I even discovered a practitioner opening in my hometown.
Dr. Nicole Labor talks the Neurobiology of Addiction 101
This Unhooked conversation is with Dr. Nicole Labor, who is board certified in both family medicine and addiction medicine.
She is currently the medical director at OneEighty, a treatment center that offers inpatient and outpatient chemical dependency and behavioral health services in Wooster, OH. She is also the director of the addiction medicine Fellowship for Summa. Dr. Labor is also medical director for Interval Brotherhood home as well as the EsperTreatment Center in Erie, PA.
In recovery herself since 2005, Her Addiction Assassin Facebook page says she is the; Addiction Medicine Physician, spiritual gangster, Superhero ninja warrior pirate, ringmaster of the shit show.
First created to educate other physicians and medical professionals, Dr. Labor's lectures are something I post regularly (Here's a great one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ras8yOq30WY&t=48s),
Dr. Labor has also written a fantastic book that I would say, is the best I have read when it comes to understanding chemicals and addiction behavior. "The Addictoholic Deconstructed" is a book I personally recommend that EVERYONE read, whether you've been addicted, loved someone who has struggled with addiction, or just need to know more (we ALL need to know more, check it out!).
Listen in as Dr. Labor explains some profound points and reveals information in such a simple way that we all can come to a new understanding.
Addiction is described as "a hole in the soul through which the cold wind blows." Understanding opens the way for solutions.
You can find Dr. Nicole Labor on her Addiction Assassin Facebook page, or at the website: https://www.theaddictsdoc.com/
Kathleen Cochrun - Heart of a Warrior Woman
Today's conversation is with an incredible woman, whose posts I have followed for some time now. I had the privilege of meeting her this past year at an AMAZING retreat in Santa Barbara, California. A retreat that she is the creator of, called Heart of a Warrior Woman...
What works for my family may not be what works for yours, and vice versa - yet, regardless of the approach or process, we are all in this together. The support, understanding, kindness and compassion we show one another as family's impacted by addiction is EVERYTHING that matters.
In short, Kathleen Cochran has been through many of the struggle all of us have walked the floors trying to figure out. She has remained by her daughter’s side through her battle with substance use disorder. Their sixteen-year path has included over 20 rehabs, IOPs, sober livings, a therapeutic boarding school and a partridge in a pear tree.
After being labeled an “enabler” and “codependent”, then directed to allow her daughter to hit rock bottom, Kathleen became determined to find a more compassionate approach. She researched and read, devouring hundreds of books on a wide range of approaches and tools. She aligns with the practice of harm reduction, to keep our children alive until they can find their way to recovery and CRAFT, as a more effective approach to communicate and encourage sobriety.
Kathleen is passionate about helping other mothers. She shares her experience and knowledge to lessen the angst of their journeys. Kathleen and partner Allyson Abraam together are creating a community where true sisterhood can flourish. Where women can find the knowledge, strength, joy, and compassion that is needed to endure the journey of loving their children through addiction at a retreat (I have personally attended and found to be healing and wonderful) called “Heart of a Warrior Woman.”
Listen in as she tells her story and gives wisdom and insight into the path no one would choose for their family, but together we are rising strong from.
Kathleen can be found on Facebook, Instagram and by logging onto https://www.heartofawarriorwoman.com/ Listen in and check her out!
Allyson Aabram
I met this amazing woman on a retreat in Santa Barbara, California and felt an instant warmth and connection. I have been eager to have her on the podcast...we discuss the effects of addiction on the family, in particular as it impacts the heart of a Mother.
Allyson describes her journey to acceptance as her son has been unbelievably incarcerated as the result of an overdose.
She shares her family's situation in a very raw, real yet hopeful way with me in this conversation. Allyson offers so much hope and insight for women struggling adjacent to a son or daughter's addiction. She gets it! Years of hiding her son’s problematic drug use left Allyson feeling isolated. She captured her secret life in a blog called "What is Behind My facade?" that was shared by Arianna Huffington.
The overwhelming support empowered her to continue writing. She has been a guest writer on HuffPost, Addiction Unscripted, Love What Matters and other sites. Allyson’s perspective and writing shifted after she attended the National Harm Reduction Conference in 2016. Instead of punishing her son’s addiction, she focused on mitigating its damage.
She became aware of the stigmas and injustices endured by those fighting for sobriety, and motivated to expose them. As traumatic experiences became the norm (something anyone affected by this disease can relate to), Allyson was compelled to find personal growth in the circumstances.
She wished for a culture that encouraged women to move beyond the negativity and find purpose. A true introvert,
Allyson found unexpected joy in attending the first Warrior Women’s Retreat in May of 2018. The sheer volume of mothers in need of connectivity inspired her to help grow the event into Mecca.
You can connect with Allyson @ https://www.heartofawarriorwoman.com/ listen in to the podcast and check her out!!
Allyson's Huffpost Blog: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-facade-my-son-is-a-heroin-addict_b_8914552?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAH73FyANu55nEkJ8qIwOysooV2WotYhCN59_1tD_T0vEchDyzWAgrIAPycSn8pmycqOyL5sR6k6n8L0WwS4hX6DZjdSiuf0V4DSMjBHgbr8VKYksP68hHjasJizLDWP70d9oorONZO-5QoEcnPTd6sGEMtop-ediUSHz39fcc9Wf
Safe Station, the Firehouse saving lives Pt. 2
Back for Part II with Whitehall Division of Fire's Asst. Chief Chris Menapace, joined by Community Paramedic Randy Jones, this conversation was recorded from the firehouse.
Listen in as these two first responders and who I like to call "heroes in the work of the addiction epidemic" share stories from the SAFE Station; where anyone needing relief and recovery is welcome through the doors without fear of arrest, rejection or judgment.
Safe Station, the Firehouse saving lives Pt. 1
Back again with Whitehall Division of Fire's Asst. Chief Chris Menapace, joined by Community Paramedic Randy Jones, this conversation was recorded from the firehouse.
Listen in as these two first responders and who I like to call "heroes in the work of the addiction epidemic" share stories from the SAFE Station; where anyone needing relief and recovery is welcome through the doors without fear of arrest, rejection or judgment.
Joan, a conversation from the sidelines
"The Unhooked Podcast"
This week's conversation is with Joan, a fellow Mom from the rooms. Joan has years of experience under her belt when it comes to healing the effects of family addiction, alcoholism and dysfunctional religious beliefs.
A lot heals in the process of recovering - including your perception of yourself, along with the types of friends you remain close to, or see the need to distance yourself from.
Listen in as Joan shares her story regarding her marriage, navigating the addiction struggles with her daughter, as well as relearning how to view things from a non-condemning perspective in order to have peace.
Check it out! 💕
What is Peer Support? With Thrive CEO Brian Bailys
Peer support occurs when people provide knowledge, experience, emotional, social or practical help to each other. It commonly refers to an initiative consisting of trained supporters, and can take a number of forms such as peer mentoring, reflective listening, or counseling.
Having come to understand the value of supportive peers for myself, I'm excited to introduce the topic of Peer Support as it relates to recovery and emotional and mental health and healing, with Thrive Peer Support CEO, Brian Bailys. Brian shares his own recovery success story and resulting passion for offering support and encouragement for others with what began as a mobile peer support app and has spread to face to face as well as emergency room settings.
Listen in to hear Brian's journey and the incredible work peers are doing for one another in Ohio and all across the nation! Check out Thrive here! https://thrivepeersupport.org/
Regan
Regan (daughter of Janelle, featured on the last week's podcast), shares her personal story and inside view of addiction and recovery.
At just 19 years old, Regan has experienced already the nightmare of addiction and relapse, as well as the relief of recovery. She describes the impact substance use has had on not only her own life, but upon the lives of those closest to her. As her family suffered on the sideline, having to make the excruciating decision to allow her to go live her life, her way - Regan quickly realized that it was not the life for her, and that those who loved her most were were waiting to welcome her home.
As she continues the work to recover and move onward, Regan shares her story of falling into the trap of drug use to soothe personal struggles, which led to heartbreaking separation from her family, and even a "Britney Spears head shaving moment."
This beautiful young woman is a brave example of how not only are substances readily available to young people - but recovery is an incredible design for life out of the depths of it.
Listen in to hear Regan's story of reality, recovery and HOPE!
Janelle, a Mom in recovery
In this episode, we hear the story of a Mom who like so many in this epidemic - becomes desperate and frantic after discovering her young daughter's substance use and eventual struggle with addiction.
Janelle shares her fight for her daughter's life. Listen as she describes her own personal awakening and revelation of the need for education, support and recovery for herself in the midst of her daughter's spiral into addiction while still in high school, as well as the relief of finding a treatment program that was the best fit for their family.
Janelle's process of recovering has been like many of ours; the shock and horror of addiction coming for a much loved child, leading to a deep dive into introspective truth and transformation.
On this side of the situation, Janelle shares the passion with many of us who share our family's success story in order help lead hope to traumatized family members going through the nightmare of a son, daughter or other loved one falling into addiction, by starting a PALs support group, the first one in a 50 mile radius of her Houston suburb.
Addiction is a crisis I would wish on no family. However, what the process of recovery does within a family is the gift I'd love every household to experience.
For more information about the process of IASIS mentioned in this podcast, check out: https://microcurrentneurofeedback.com/
My Recovery; sharing in a meeting...
If it wasn't for a process of recovery, and finding my way into some amazing rooms - I would still be a broken, fearful mess. Most likely I'd still searching for that one answer or event to finally heal my life. With my emotional well-being at the mercy of people and situations outside of myself, which is a great way to live a miserable life!
This episode was recorded in a family support group meeting, in the same room where I found hope, acceptance, connection, love, encouragement and confidence to face my insecurities and go to work on my own dysfunction.
Beginning with a bit of our backstory, to examples of family frustrations, to where we are now - the trajectory of my life has had many twists and turns. Where we are now is just about as far as you can get from where we used to be! From my relationship with my family, Mother, son and with rude people!
Many situations included in my 2nd book, "Unbroken, Navigating the Madness of Family Addiction, Alcoholism, Dysfunction and Heartache." While It's impossible to cover everything in a share, I wanted to hit the highlights and share what recovery has taught me, given me, and what I'm doing with it now. What an honor to share more of my recovery story with some of my most favorite people from the rooms of recovery and support.
If you or someone you know are affected by a loved one's addiction, alcoholism - please find a meeting along with safe, healthy, compassionate support, it'll alter the course of your life! Peace is possible!
Still learning,
Annie
Author of books: Unhooked, and Unbroken, Navigating the Madness of Family Dysfunction, Addiction, Alcoholism and Heartache
For information, comfort, encouragement and support:
Codependents Anonymous Parent Support – TAPU Family Recovery Support
"Not Far From Me"
"Not Far From Me" is published by the Ohio State University Press and is a beautiful collaboration of stories ranging from first responders, to poets and prison cells, to grieving family members, librarians, school teachers and administrators and even a chapter written by me!
This book paints a portrait of families and communities not only ravaged by addiction - but many times more open and stronger as a result of the great suffering the epidemic has caused.
Listen in to the heartfelt experiences of those from all over Ohio, the heart of it all; where the opioid epidemic that has swept the nation not only has many of its roots, but also from where hope, strength and recovery continue to rise.
You can find information about this book and its contributors at: notfarfromme.org/book/ as well as on Twitter @OhioOpiods
Dr. Donna Marks
I have been familiar for the work of Dr. Donna Marks for a while now, through the connection with her incredible daughter Hanna. I spoke with them on Recovery Radio a couple of years ago and was profoundly impressed.
Donna Marks has been a licensed psychotherapist and addictions counselor in private practice in Palm Beach County for over 30 years. Dr. Marks specializes in working with individuals who have been unable to break unwanted patterns of behavior by working through the internal obstructions that stand in the way of achieving one’s life goals.
She believes that the combined methods of psychoanalysis and spirituality are a powerful method to not only heal the past and find freedom, but to also obtain meaning from all of those life events—the essential requirements for lasting change and a promising future.
Listen in as Dr. Marks talks about her background, beginning as a single Mother, waitressing to pay the bills...all the way through to Grad School and a private practice where she incorporates healing concepts of truth, recovery and a Course in Miracles.
I could not help but open up some of my own areas of need when speaking with her!
You can find Dr. Donna at: http://drdonnamarks.com/
Katie, a Mother's Addiction Journey
Similar to the trajectory my own family life has taken, Katie has now dedicated her life to those that are affected by substance use disorder, coaching families through the chaos of their loved ones addiction, and a sought out expert for stigma reduction training to law enforcement, first responders, hospitals and workplace wellness.
Katie sits on several local and national boards, has been invited to congressional hearings, testified in front of the FDA, and a national speaker on addiction. Katie is also one of the leading forces behind the creation of Hope Not Handcuffs in which she was awarded the PAARI Leadership award for her advocacy work, in addition to a Global Humanitarian Award.
Katie is a professionally trained and certified family recovery coach, interventionist as well as an executive life coach. She has been a featured author/blogger for national advocacy groups in addition to being interviewed on Fox, ABC, NBC, Fox Sports and featured in the December 2018 issue of Time/Money Magazine.
Katie and her daughter Brittany also co-founded a blog, where they dig deep about their journey at www.amothersaddictionjourney.com, which reached over a million views and seen in 146 countries within 30 days of its inception and has been syndicated in over 30 publications, including USA Today and Babble by Disney. Katie lives with her husband John, and their youngest daughter Brooke in Macomb Twp, MI.
Our side of the house needs to be a part of the solution and work on a recovery process of our own, listen in as Katie shares her family's story and we swap personal experiences of recovery and even moments when we both recount LOSING IT over something unrelated in the wake of the stress.
You can find Katie and Brittany at: www.amothersaddictionjourney.com/
Author, Professor and person in recovery - Gigi Langer
"A Higher Power for me just needs to be a Force greater than my fears..." I found that comment, among many others in this conversation to be deeply revelational.
I personally love Writers and Authors, especially those who speak a language of recovery, in this Unhooked conversation I met with Author Gigi Langer. Gigi holds a PhD in Psychological Studies in Education and an MA in Psychology, both from Stanford University. As a professor, she won several awards for her teaching, and (as Georgea M. Langer) wrote four books for educators as well as hundreds of articles on professional growth.
As a person in recovery, Gigi hasn’t had a drug or drink for over 30 years! Through speeches, retreats, and workshops, she helps thousands of people improve their lives at home and at work.
Listen in as she tells her journey and hits the high notes on so many recovery related issues, I learn something from her every time she posts, shares, writes and now speaks on this week's podcast! You can find Gigi at GigiLanger.com check her out!
Heartland High - the new face of recovery and private school!
A hybrid of private school and all things recovery, Heartland is Ohio’s first recovery school and I could not be more excited to give listeners an inside view. Heartland High school is pioneering new ground and making history, using grace, kindness, compassion, wisdom and all things recovery.
Listen in as Heartland School Director Dr. Paige Stewart and Student Engagement Coordinator Jennifer Belemu share their personal experiences as well as professional goals for Heartland High, where they believe in a system of love, not legalism. Heartland leads with a pulse of grace-based learning that gives honor , dignity and confidence to its students in order to send them off into adulthood THRIVING.
Love this school! Check them out: www.facebook.com/HeartlandHS/
Recovery - also needed for the Parents and Family Members of an Addicted Loved One!!
In this week's episode I sat down Brenda Stewart, founder of The Addict's Parents United and the Mother of two adult sons who have suffered with substance use and addiction. Together we cover the effects on the family members, in particular the parents of a son or daughter afflicted with an addiction or alcohol problem.
Our side of the house can be crazier and become as sick (if not sicker) as the one struggling with chemically fueled behavior. And we are not usually even high. Those in the peripheral get triggered, suffer from PTSD, depression, anxiety, stress induced physical conditions and so on. Addiction effects the health of EVERYONE.
Also - stress led both of us to experience panic attacks. Brenda and I discuss that subject and share coping methods. Because those are the WORST!
We read questions from parents and family members, including how to manage when a son or daughter says vicious things or makes threats for money, how to manage the stress, fear and sadness, and what might someone say to a friend or family member who has an addicted son or daughter.
We both agree on one thing for sure - families DO recover! But it's a group effort.
Listen in for this information and HOPE filled conversation!
Brenda's organization The Addicts Parents United can be found on Facebook and at https://www.tapunited.org/ Check it out!