Ask Aubree: Self-Love Coaching

By Aubree Henderson

Self-love coach, self-help author and professional calm-in-the-chaos Aubree Henderson answers listener-submitted questions and shares healing encouragement to help you love yourself a little better.

Submit a question or topic for a future podcast or learn more about Aubree at www.aubreehenderson.com or on social @ahhhhbree!

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103: Demystifying Foster Parenting with Marisa Whelan (New Alternatives for Children)

Ask Aubree: Self-Love CoachingApr 13, 2022

00:00

01:00:32

103: Demystifying Foster Parenting with Marisa Whelan (New Alternatives for Children)

In this episode, my wife Laura Henderson and I sit down with Marisa Whelan, Foster Parent Recruitment Specialist from New Alternatives for Children (our NYC foster care agency) for a conversation about our journey to becoming foster moms, what it takes to become a foster parent, and some common misconceptions and myths about the world of foster care. If you have questions about becoming a foster parent or are just curious about the world of foster care, this episode is for you.
Learn more about New Alternatives for Children or register for a foster parent orientation at www.nackidscan.org
Follow New Alternatives for Children (NAC) on Instagram @nacfosterparents and @nackidscan
Reach out to Marisa directly at mwhelan@nackidscan.org
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Hang out with me on IG @ahhhhbree
Learn more about coaching with Aubree and other services at www.aubreehenderson.com

Apr 13, 202201:00:32

102: Belonging to yourself.

LEARN MORE ABOUT COACHING: www.aubreehenderson.com FIND ME ON IG & TIKTOK: @ahhhhbree

Feb 12, 202223:54

REPLAY: It’s okay to be hungry for love.

This week, I'm sharing a replay of an episode from April 2020: People need other people, babe. Now more than ever. So let’s talk about how our people-pleasing beliefs hold us back from real connection - even when we’re in the process of unlearning and healing from them. Also, a guided meditation to accompany this reflection.

FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree
www.aubreehenderson.com Excerpt from @yumisakugawa on Instagram.

Poem - “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

Feb 07, 202231:51

REPLAY: Where do you get your confidence?

This week, I'm sharing a replay of an episode from October 2020 (which happens to be one of my most-played episodes ever!) answering a question I hear often - “where do you get your confidence?” - including three strategies to help you source & strengthen your own self-confidence. FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree www.aubreehenderson.com

Jan 31, 202215:10

REPLAY: Why you should befriend your inner critic.

This week, I'm re-sharing one of my favorite episodes, originally shared in April 2020.

Most of us have an inner critic - with familiar refrains of “you’ll never be good enough” or “you’re a failure”, these internal voices can be a nuisance at best and deeply painful at worst. I‘ve been asked how to get rid of one’s inner critic - and I don’t believe you can (or should). In fact, I think you should make friends with it.⁣ ⁣

Struggling with your own dilemma or have an area of your life where you just need a pep talk? Want to be featured on a future episode? Submit a question to be answered on the next podcast at aubreehenderson.com or @ahhhhbree on instagram!

Jan 24, 202232:27

REPLAY: The gift of feedback with Adeola (Ola) Whitney

Does giving feedback make you want to puke? Do you get defensive at just the possibility of getting constructive criticism? This week, I'm sharing a replay of an April 2021 episode - a very special interview with my mentor and friend Adeola (Ola) Whitney, who taught me a ton of what I know about giving and receiving feedback artfully.
FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree
www.aubreehenderson.com

Jan 17, 202201:02:37

101: What if someone I love won’t speak my love language?

This week, a listener asks “what if i ask for my love language, but then get told by someone I love that they won't give it to me?”

Jan 10, 202228:36

100: Why ultimatums aren’t always a bad thing.

We've always been taught that ultimatums are a relationship no-no - this week, I tell you why I've changed my mind about ultimatums and don't think they're all bad.

Order my new book, Breaking Up With People-Pleasing, on Amazon or wherever you get your books!⁣ ⁣

Get $10 off your first shipment of luxury undies from Underclub when you use code AUBREE at underclub.com⁣ ⁣

Hang out with me on Instagram @ahhhhbree⁣ ⁣

Got a question? Fill out the form on my website or email me at hello@aubreehenderson.com⁣ ⁣

Learn more about me & my work at www.aubreehenderson.com

Dec 13, 202118:00

99: Why you should let people fuck up.

Many of us feel the impulse to make sure that the people we love don’t make mistakes or experience hard things. In this episode I explain why sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is let someone fuck up.

Dec 06, 202117:24

98: 3 tips for sitting with difficult emotions.

So many of us have learned to avoid, solve, or distract ourselves from our difficult or painful emotions - but what does it look like to sit and be present to your feelings? In this episode, I share 3 tips for sitting with and allowing yourself to experience challenging emotions.

Follow me on Instagram - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

Nov 29, 202121:03

87: That conversation you're afraid to have? It's probably the most important one, too.

Welcome back, babes! Ask Aubree is back after a restorative hiatus and today, we're talking about why the conversations we're scared to have are often also the ones we need to have the most. Hang out with me on Instagram @ahhhhbree Got a question? Fill out the form on my website or email me at hello@aubreehenderson.com Learn more about me & my work at www.aubreehenderson.com

Oct 04, 202116:14

86: How proactive rest & pause practices will change your life.

This week, I share a reflection on the importance of pause and rest and why we should practice them proactively. Also, speaking of pauses - announcement about what the next few months will look like for this podcast!⁣
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FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree⁣
www.aubreehenderson.com

Jul 19, 202124:22

85: 3 reminders for when you feel like you're backsliding in your growth.

We've all had those moments when we've been working toward a goal, healing from something, developing ourselves, or building a new skill when suddenly we saw an old habit or behavior creep in and wondered "is all my progress for nothing? am I failing? am I reverting back to my old self?"

Don't worry - this doesn't mean you're failing or backsliding. In this episode, I'll tell you why, and share 3 reminders to give yourself next time you feel this way.

FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

Jul 12, 202124:54

84: What does it look like to choose yourself?

After last week’s episode about the desire to be chosen, I got lots of questions about HOW to actually choose yourself. What does this look like as a practice? I walk you through an example in a guided meditation.

Jun 28, 202120:05

83: For anyone who just wants to feel chosen.

Most of us have stories and wounds that we carry from childhood all the way into our adult relationships. This week, I’m speaking to anyone who has ever longed to feel chosen.⁣
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FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree⁣
⁣
www.aubreehenderson.com

Jun 21, 202123:07

82: What if you're already in your worst-case scenario?

For many of us, pursuing a goal we're invested in is scary because it requires risk - which can sometimes tempt us to stay where we are to avoid the potential pain & disappointment that accompanies risk. In this episode, we explore the issues with this mindset and questions to ask yourself when you find yourself in this situation.

FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

Jun 14, 202127:04

81: How to mindfully receive & respond to apologies.

We've talked in a couple of episodes about how to give better apologies - being specific, checking in with the other person, being accountable for your actions, and avoiding unnecessary apologies when gratitude will serve you better. But what about when you're on the receiving end of the apology?

FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

May 31, 202121:19

80: Your permission slip to stop pretending to enjoy things when you really don't.

What are the things in your life that you are actively choosing and pretending to like, but that drain your energy? Things you’re saying you enjoy, when really they make you feel like garbage? Consider this episode your permission slip to let go of the things that make you feel like shit.

May 24, 202122:17

79: Shifting your mindset from perpetual apology to gratitude.

Are you a chronic over-apologizer? In this episode, I uncover the underlying beliefs that cause us to compulsively apologize and the transformative shifts that a gratitude mindset can help you make.

May 17, 202121:20

78: REPLAY: Guided Meditations for Self-Compassion

Three guided meditations to cultivate love & compassion toward yourself.⁣ ⁣ 2:23 guided meditation for self-acceptance ⁣ 12:15 guided meditation for worthiness⁣ 26:42 guided meditation for self-love⁣ ⁣ FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree⁣ www.aubreehenderson.com

May 10, 202133:19

77: How do I source validation from within?

A listener asks: how can I provide my own validation and reassurance when I’m so used to needing it from other people? Why do we need attention, affection, and affirmation from others in the first place?

May 03, 202126:55

76: REPLAY - Guided meditation for disappointment & rejection.

This week, I'm sharing a replay of an old favorite from September 2020 - a guided meditation to build self-compassion and increase positive self-talk in the face of disappointment and rejection.

FIND ME ON IG - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

Apr 26, 202124:22

75: Three Listener Questions - Roommates, Boyfriends, & In-Laws

This week, I answer questions from three listeners who are all navigating boundaries and asking for what they need in three very different types of relationships.

FIND ME ON IG: @ahhhhbree
www.aubreehenderson.com

Apr 19, 202132:50

74: The gift of feedback with Adeola (Ola) Whitney

Does giving feedback make you want to puke? Do you get defensive at just the possibility of getting constructive criticism? This week, I'm joined by my mentor and friend Adeola (Ola) Whitney, who taught me a ton of what I know about giving and receiving feedback artfully.

FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

Apr 12, 202101:01:31

73: Listen to this when you have a vulnerability hangover.

You know that feeling after you’ve shared something personal or tender or vulnerable? When the anxiety sets in or you’re worried about what the other person is thinking or you inexplicably feel like you wanna puke?⁣
⁣
Yep - that’s a vulnerability hangover! And this week I’m telling you how to handle it the next time you have one.⁣
⁣
FIND ME ON IG - @ahhhhbree⁣
www.aubreehenderson.com

Apr 05, 202124:23

72: How to ask for more of what feels good in your relationships.

We talk a lot about boundary-setting when someone’s behavior is hurting us - and that’s obviously important, but what about the stuff that feels good? In this episode, we talk about how to ask for what you *do* want, and why it’s important to name what already feels good in your relationships.

Mar 29, 202131:07

71: You’ll probably never get rid of your nagging thoughts... and that’s okay.

You know those nagging, automatic, inner-critic-driven thoughts that come up all the time and make you feel like shit? Well... those might never go away. No, not even when you’ve worked on your healing and recovery for years. In this episode, I’ll tell you why that doesn’t mean you aren’t still healing & growing.

Mar 22, 202129:48

70: Demystifying Codependency - a conversation with Whytli Rogers

This week, I'm sharing an interview I did earlier this year with Whytli Rogers for her podcast, In the Wake with Whytli. Whytli is a mental health advocate, certified life coach, and survivor - her podcast is a space for conversations about topics that are often shrouded in stigma and shame, but need to be talked about more. In this conversation, we talk all things codependency - what it is, where it stems from, and how to love others while still loving yourself.

HANG OUT WITH ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

Mar 15, 202143:23

69: It's ok to want what you want: your sex questions, answered.

This week, I answer your sex & self-worth questions - we're talking oral sex, pelvic pain, non-monogamy, sexual shame, queerness, and more. FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree www.aubreehenderson.com

Mar 01, 202138:02

68: Guided Meditation for Self-Compassion & Connectedness.

This week, I walk you through a guided meditation created to tune into and hold compassionate space for difficult emotions. Listen when you want to get present in your mind & body, need to sit with your feelings, or just want a yummy moment for yourself.

FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

Feb 22, 202115:36

67: How do I ask for what I need if I don't know what I need?

I often preach about the importance of asking for what you need - but how can you do that if you don't know what it is that you need?! In this episode, I share some strategies to try when you're not sure what you need, so you can gain the clarity required to name your needs.

FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

Feb 15, 202118:05

66: Why we need rituals.

Humans thrive on rhythms, routines, and rituals. In this episode, I share a little bit about the roles that rituals play in my life and how they can be a benefit to yours, too!

FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

Feb 08, 202126:20

65: Can I be platonic friends with someone I’m attracted to?

A listener asks: Is it okay to feel sexual attraction for a friend? How do I deal with the guilt of having a close friendship outside of my relationship with someone of the same gender as my partner? How can I talk to my partner about my friendships when there is insecurity there?

Feb 01, 202146:32

64: It's not your job to endure being treated like shit.

The 4th and final installment of "It's not your job to..." - a series on the things we've been socialized to believe are our responsibility, but in reality are NOT our job!
This week: it's not your job to endure being treated like shit! Why we're made to believe that tolerating shitty treatment is an admirable quality, and the mindset shifts to support better boundaries.
INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree
www.aubreehenderson.com
RESOURCES FOR FOLKS EXPERIENCING VIOLENCE OR ABUSE
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
www.ndvh.org
National Dating Abuse Helpline
1-866-331-9474
www.loveisrespect.org
National Child Abuse Hotline/Childhelp
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
www.childhelp.org

Jan 25, 202127:26

63: It's not your job to keep other people comfortable.

Part 3 in "It's not your job to..." - a series on the things we've been socialized to believe are our responsibility, but in reality are NOT our job!

This week: it's not your job to keep other people comfortable! Why we are so quick to prioritize other people's comfort over our own happiness, and strategies to begin to unlearn these habits and move toward authenticity over approval.

INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

www.aubreehenderson.com

Jan 18, 202133:32

62: It’s not your job to “fix” other people.

This week, we continue our series on things that aren’t your job. Next up - other people’s healing & emotional wellness. Shout-out to my wife, Laura Henderson, for joining me on this one!

Jan 11, 202139:04

61: It’s not your job to prove that you’re worthy.

It’s a new year, babes! So it’s the perfect time to kick off a series about things that are not your job. First up - proving to anyone that you’re worthy, lovable, or good enough.

Jan 04, 202127:11

60: REPLAY - You aren’t selfish for asking for what you need.

Enjoy this replay of one of my favorite episodes, originally recorded in February 2020.

“Asking for what you need doesn't make you selfish." To some, this is a simple statement. To others, it's a radical notion. In this episode, we dig into the people-pleasing patterns and experiences that make us terrified to ask for what we need and how we can break that cycle. A listener writes in about the pain of rejection.

www.aubreehenderson.com

INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

Dec 21, 202030:40

59: REPLAY - How do I get comfy with conflict and confrontation?

Enjoy this replay of one of my favorite episodes, originally recorded in October 2019!

In this episode, we hear from a listener who struggles with conflict and prefers to avoid it altogether, but wants to know how to approach conflict and confrontation in their relationships with confidence and health.

www.aubreehenderson.com INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

Dec 14, 202025:02

58: REPLAY - Is self-care keeping people from getting shit done?

Enjoy this replay of one of my favorite episodes, originally recorded in November 2019!

In this episode, I respond to a letter writer who is struggling with anger at others around them who are prioritizing self-care at the expense of their work and relational roles and responsibilities, and asks for strategies to reframe their thoughts and interactions around this.

www.aubreehenderson.com INSTAGRAM - @ahhhhbree

Dec 07, 202029:24

Ask Aubree: Self-Love Coaching

By Aubree Henderson

Available on

103: Demystifying Foster Parenting with Marisa Whelan (New Alternatives for Children)

Ask Aubree: Self-Love CoachingApr 13, 2022

103: Demystifying Foster Parenting with Marisa Whelan (New Alternatives for Children)

102: Belonging to yourself.

REPLAY: It’s okay to be hungry for love.

REPLAY: Where do you get your confidence?

REPLAY: Why you should befriend your inner critic.

REPLAY: The gift of feedback with Adeola (Ola) Whitney

101: What if someone I love won’t speak my love language?

100: Why ultimatums aren’t always a bad thing.

99: Why you should let people fuck up.

98: 3 tips for sitting with difficult emotions.

97: Breaking Up With People Pleasing with Andrea Seydel (Part 6)

96: Breaking Up With People Pleasing with Andrea Seydel (Part 5)

95: Breaking Up With People Pleasing with Andrea Seydel (Part 4)

94: Breaking Up With People Pleasing with Andrea Seydel (Part 3)

93: Breaking Up With People Pleasing with Andrea Seydel (Part 2)

92: Breaking Up With People Pleasing with Andrea Seydel (Part 1)

91: I can do hard things when I need to.

90: Stop f*cking downplaying your joy & excitement.

89: Guided meditation to calm your inner critic.

88: No answer is also an answer.

87: That conversation you're afraid to have? It's probably the most important one, too.

86: How proactive rest & pause practices will change your life.

85: 3 reminders for when you feel like you're backsliding in your growth.

84: What does it look like to choose yourself?

83: For anyone who just wants to feel chosen.

82: What if you're already in your worst-case scenario?

81: How to mindfully receive & respond to apologies.

80: Your permission slip to stop pretending to enjoy things when you really don't.

79: Shifting your mindset from perpetual apology to gratitude.

78: REPLAY: Guided Meditations for Self-Compassion

77: How do I source validation from within?

76: REPLAY - Guided meditation for disappointment & rejection.

75: Three Listener Questions - Roommates, Boyfriends, & In-Laws

74: The gift of feedback with Adeola (Ola) Whitney

73: Listen to this when you have a vulnerability hangover.

72: How to ask for more of what feels good in your relationships.

71: You’ll probably never get rid of your nagging thoughts... and that’s okay.

70: Demystifying Codependency - a conversation with Whytli Rogers

69: It's ok to want what you want: your sex questions, answered.

68: Guided Meditation for Self-Compassion & Connectedness.

67: How do I ask for what I need if I don't know what I need?

66: Why we need rituals.

65: Can I be platonic friends with someone I’m attracted to?

64: It's not your job to endure being treated like shit.

63: It's not your job to keep other people comfortable.

62: It’s not your job to “fix” other people.

61: It’s not your job to prove that you’re worthy.

60: REPLAY - You aren’t selfish for asking for what you need.

59: REPLAY - How do I get comfy with conflict and confrontation?

58: REPLAY - Is self-care keeping people from getting shit done?