Resentment-Free Relationships
By Becky Smith
Resentment-Free RelationshipsJan 24, 2024
206. Creating a Safe Space
Acknowledging and accepting your partner's feelings without agreeing with them is crucial for building a strong connection. Understanding the difference between validation and agreement, using active listening techniques, managing frustrations without defensiveness, and resolving conflicts constructively is essential. This guide aims to improve relationship dynamics, reduce conflict, and foster a deeper connection with your partner. Let's talk. Sign up now. https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships
00:00 Welcome Back & Today's Focus on Validation
00:22 Understanding Validation in Relationships
03:44 Key Points on Validation and Emotional Connection
04:58 Practical Tips for Validating Your Partner
06:46 Real-Life Scenario: Handling Household Chores
09:38 The Impact of Validation in Personal Relationships
10:46 Conclusion: The Journey of Improving Validation
205. How To Deal With A Defensive Partner
Becky discusses the challenges of dealing with a partner's defensiveness during conflicts, particularly for those who often prioritize others' needs over their own. Click here for a safe space to talk. https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships
.00:00 Introduction to Navigating Partner Defensiveness
00:45 Lessons from Bear Lake
02:02 Understanding Partner Defensiveness and Conflict
03:01 Strategies for Managing Defensiveness and Conflict
05:33 Setting Boundaries and Self-Care During Conflict1
4:48 Conclusion and Invitation for Further Support
204. The Power Within
This episode delves into the concept of personal authority Becky discusses the significance of reflecting on our responses, actions, and feelings to own our personal authority.
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
00:04 Exploring Dog Training and Personal Growth
01:29 The Concept of Inner Authority
02:05 Applying Inner Authority in Personal Relationships
04:39 Empowering Yourself Through Inner Authority
06:23 Conclusion and Reflections
203. Shift Your Lens: Learning from 'What Alice Forgot'"
In this episode, host Becky delves into the unique experience of re-listening to a book she had read years ago, 'What Alice Forgot' by Liane Moriarty. Re-experiencing the book offered her new insights, emphasizing how different stages of life can alter one's interpretation of a story. The narrative of Alice, who forgets a decade of her life, serves as a foundation for Becky to explore the significance of perspective in shaping our understanding of ourselves and our relationships. She highlights the positive changes in Alice's interactions when she views her life through the lens of her younger self, noting the decrease in defensiveness and increase in empathy. Becky extends these fictional themes into real-life applications, suggesting introspective questions that encourage curiosity and empathy to improve personal relationships. The episode aims to inspire listeners to consider their past and future selves in navigating current challenges, promoting a mindset of growth and openness.
00:00 Welcome to the Podcast: A Rare Dive into Rereading
01:05 Rediscovering 'What Alice Forgot': A Journey of Perspective
02:11 Exploring the Impact of Perspective Through Alice's Story
03:18 The Power of Perspective: Lessons from Alice's Experience
05:43 Applying Fictional Insights to Real-Life Relationships
08:23 Practical Steps to Embrace Curiosity and Reduce Defensiveness
09:38 Final Thoughts and Encouragement to Explore New Perspectives
202. Hidden Dreams
Becky delves into the concept of 'hidden dreams' within relationships, drawing on insights from John and Julie Gottman's work on healthy conflict. Becky highlights how perpetual arguments often mask deeper, unexpressed desires and values. Through the lens of the Gottmans' personal experience and a detailed example of their methodology, she illustrates the transformative potential of uncovering and empathizing with these hidden dreams for resolving conflicts. The episode emphasizes the significance of thoughtful questioning in revealing underlying aspirations and acknowledges that, although not all conflicts are solvable, their manageability improves with mutual understanding and empathy. Becky encourages listeners to embrace the role of a 'dream catcher' in their own relationships and shares avenues for feedback and further discussion on this vital topic.
00:00 Welcome to the Healthy Conflict Series: Unveiling Hidden Dreams
00:21 Understanding Perpetual Arguments in Relationships
01:32 The Gottmans' Discovery: The Technique of Hidden Dreams
01:56 The Iceberg of Conflict: Uncovering Hidden Dreams and Values
02:58 Judging Desires: The Pitfall of Value Judgments in Relationships
03:57 A Real-Life Example: The Gottmans' Cabin Conflict
05:29 The Power of Understanding and Dialogue
08:33 Practical Steps: Questions to Uncover Hidden Dreams
10:30 The Unsolvable Nature of Some Conflicts and the Value of Empathy
11:24 Applying the Dream Catcher Technique in Your Life1
2:28 Conclusion and Invitation to Share Your Experiences
https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships
201. Manage Conflict: Find Common Ground
In Becky's 200th podcast episode, she talks about handling conflicts well. She starts where the last episode ended and talks about the third step: calming yourself and the other person down during arguments by taking breaks or doing calming activities like breathing exercises. Then, she talks about the fourth step: compromising, which she says isn't a bad thing but should be done in a fair way that respects everyone's views. She shares a personal story about resolving a conflict. The fifth step is about dealing with the deeper reasons behind conflicts. Becky wraps up by summarizing the steps and saying that dealing with conflict can bring people closer. She also mentions a webinar coming up where she'll talk more about handling conflicts healthily.
00:00 Celebrating 200 Episodes: A Milestone Moment
00:31 Diving Into Healthy Conflict: Steps to Navigate Disagreements
01:01 Soothing Strategies: Managing Emotional Flooding in Conflicts
04:28 The Art of Compromise: Finding Middle Ground
08:17 Addressing Emotional Injuries: Beyond the Surface of Conflict
10:37 Wrapping Up: Recap and Looking Forward
200. Repair Attempts in Conflict
In this episode, we delve into the second step of the five-step series on resolving conflict, as taught by the Gottman Institute. The focus is on making and receiving repair attempts to manage conflicts effectively. The host, Becky, emphasizes the importance of starting conflicts softly, avoiding the 'four horsemen' that escalate fights, and adopting positive repair attempts. Techniques such as using 'I feel' statements, staying polite, and employing the Gottman repair checklist are discussed. The podcast also addresses the challenge of practicing these methods, especially for individuals prone to being people pleasers or suffering from codependency. Becky concludes with an invitation to an upcoming webinar that aims to help listeners foster healthy connections through better conflict management.
00:00 Welcome & Series Introduction
00:15 Recap: The First Step to Resolving Conflict
01:09 Deep Dive: Techniques for a Soft Startup
02:43 Understanding the Purpose of Conflict Resolution Techniques
04:27 Introducing Step Two: Making and Receiving Repair Attempts
05:47 Exploring Positive Repair Attempts
08:27 Practical Tips: Implementing Repair Attempts in Daily Life
08:53 The Importance of Practice and Persistence
09:39 Invitation to an Upcoming Webinar on Healthy Conflict
10:50 Closing Thoughts and Goodbye
199. Understanding the Four Horsemen of Conflict
This episode features insights from John and Julie Gottman's research on conflict in marriage, advocating for healthy disagreement as a key component of intimacy and trust in relationships. Host Becky debunks myths about conflict-free marriages, introduces the concept of 'soft startup' for resolving disagreements, and discusses how to avoid the 'four horsemen of the apocalypse' (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) for better communication.
00:00 Welcome to the Healthy Conflict Series
00:11 The Importance of Healthy Conflict in Marriage
00:45 Learning from the Gottmans: Embracing Conflict for Intimacy
03:30 Understanding Your Conflict Culture
04:08 The Gottmans' Five Steps to Resolving Conflict
05:19 Identifying and Overcoming the Four Horsemen
10:01 Self-Reflection and Improvement Exercise
14:09 Practicing Healthy Conflict Responses
15:30 Homework and Preview for Next Week
198. Refreshing Your Culture of Conflict
Refreshing Your Culture of Conflict
In this podcast episode, Becky discusses the importance of recognizing and improving the culture of conflict within marriages. She draws an analogy between renovating a home and refreshing a relationship's approach to conflict, emphasizing the need to identify and change unproductive behaviors and thoughts. Despite the challenges, the effort made to enhance conflict resolution is valuable, aiming to strengthen relationships. Becky encourages listeners to engage with the series to learn about fostering healthy conflict and better disagreement practices in marriage.00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:45 Understanding Conflict in Relationships01:57 The Importance of Awareness in Conflict Resolution02:40 Home Refresh: A Metaphor for Conflict Resolution04:41 The Process of Refreshing Your Conflict Culture05:39 The Cost and Reward of Conflict Resolution07:08 The Value of Relationships and Conflict Resolution07:38 Conclusion: The Journey to Healthy Conflict
197. Breaking Free from Emotional Overload
In this podcast, the host, Becky, discusses a common question asked by her coaching clients about managing emotional responsibility towards the feelings of others. She explains the challenge faced by empathetic individuals who are closely connected with their family, friends, or colleagues and feel obliged to take on their emotions. She discusses the importance of awareness of this emotional over-responsibility and offers advice on tolerating discomfort associated with others' feelings. Some recommended thoughts to help maintain emotional separation include acknowledging that other people's emotions are not about oneself, and understanding that one cannot fix someone else's feelings. Becky emphasizes the importance of acceptance and letting go of the need to change or take responsibility for others' emotions.
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast00:16 Understanding Emotional Over-Responsibility00:52 The Double-Edged Sword of Empathy01:44 Example of Emotional Over-Responsibility03:09 Steps to Let Go of Over-Responsibility04:12 Thoughts to Help Tolerate Uncomfortable Situations07:33 Visualizing Emotional Boundaries08:12 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
196. Rebuilding Trust and Dating after Divorce
Rebuilding Trust and Dating after Divorce
In this episode, host Becky answers a question about recovery and dating after divorce. She emphasizes the importance of thorough grieving and the role of forgiveness in healing. She asserts the necessity of building self-trust and confidence, and the ability to manage negative emotions to be ready to date again. She encourages viewing adversities as growth opportunities. Becky ends by offering a free consultation session to listeners for further assistance. https://calendly.com/believefitness/45
00:00 Introduction and Podcast Purpose
01:01 Addressing Listener's Question: Post-Divorce Recovery
02:01 Understanding the Grieving Process
02:32 Recognizing and Processing Pain
04:46 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Forgiveness
06:08 Building Trust and Dating Post-Divorce
08:27 The Power of Self-Confidence in Dating
12:08 Embracing Adversity as an Opportunity for Growth
13:02 Recap and Closing Remarks
195. Five Pillars of Healthy Relationships
Overcoming Codependency and People Pleasing: Five Pillars of Resentment-Free Relationships
In this Valentine's Day-themed podcast episode, Becky addresses resentments that often affect relationships due to codependency and people-pleasing behaviors. Becky offers a 12-week coaching package introducing five pillars for healthier relationships, free from resentment.
The first pillar is 'Selfhood' where individuals work on building confidence and identity. The second pillar involves learning to have 'Healthy Conflict' while managing anger and learning assertiveness. In the third pillar, 'Emotional Support', individuals learn to understand and manage their feelings. The fourth pillar 'Boundaries' revolves around the understanding of being assertive without feeling guilt. The fifth and final pillar helps in understanding 'Codependency and People Pleasing Tendencies' and how to support people without being overly responsible for their emotions. You are invited to contact Becky via Instagram or to book a call through a link in the show notes if interested in her coaching package.
00:01 Introduction and Valentine's Day Reflections
00:46 Invitation to Work with the Coach
01:16 Understanding Resentment in Relationships
01:42 Five Pillars to Overcome People Pleasing and Codependency
02:22 Pillar One: Selfhood
04:59 Pillar Two: Healthy Conflict
07:04 Pillar Three: Emotional Support
08:18 Pillar Four: Boundaries
09:19 Pillar Five: Understanding Codependency and People Pleasing
10:42 Recap of the Five Pillars
11:47 Invitation to Connect and Conclusion
194. Tapping Away Stress with Rachel Hall
Becky and Rachel Hall discuss the concept of 'tapping', a technique she has been practicing for over ten years to manage pain, depression, and anxiety. Trained through Brooke Snow's Creation Coach certification, Rachel shares her journey dealing with depression and celiac disease, and how tapping has helped her cope with these conditions. She explains tapping as an alternative to acupuncture, using pressure points to signal the brain's reaction towards relaxing the body and mind. Rachel and Becky discuss how it can be applied practically in managing emotions and stress. This podcast concludes with Rachel guiding Becky through an extensive tapping demonstration, offering listeners a firsthand account of its therapeutic potential.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Presentation
00:28 Rachel's Personal Journey and Life Coaching
01:48 Introduction to Tapping
03:23 Benefits and Mechanism of Tapping
04:27 Practical Application of Tapping
08:02 Tapping and Emotional Processing
11:20 Demonstration of Tapping Session
22:17 Reflections and Conclusions
27:56 Contact Information and Closing Remarks
193. How to Deal With a Grump
Learn five strategies for dealing with a grumpy family member: not taking the bad mood personally, resisting the urge to 'fix' the other person's emotion, reflecting on their feelings by verbalizing empathy, asking open-ended questions to understand their situation, and setting healthy boundaries. The message throughout is helping listeners to understand better, respond to, and navigate grumpiness in their relationships without attributing it to their self-worth, granting valid space for emotions to come and go in a respectful and caring manner
.00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
00:08 Understanding the Grumpy Mood
00:19 Don't Take It Personally
01:11 Avoid Trying to Fix the Mood
01:51 Reflecting on Their Feelings
03:36 Asking the Right Questions
04:14 Setting Healthy Boundaries
05:23 Recap and Conclusion
192. Back To Basics
Welcome to "Resentment Free Relationships" with your host, Becky. In this episode, she celebrates the podcast's nearly five-year journey, expressing gratitude to listeners. She dives into the Self-Coaching model by Brooke Castillo, a key tool in her life coaching practice. Becky guides you through its five elements: circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results. She also introduces the Law of Creation model by Brooke Snow, offering a different perspective. Both models aim to raise awareness in thoughts, feelings, and actions, as foundational tools for self-improvement.
- 00:00 Intro and Podcast Journey
- 00:51 Consistency Matters
- 01:28 Back to Basics: Life Coaching Tools
- 02:31 Understanding the Self-Coaching Model
- 04:45 Applying the Model: An Example
- 07:39 Power of Perception: Thoughts Shape Feelings
- 09:10 Introducing the Law of Creation Model
- 11:27 Comparing Both Models
- 11:55 The Power of Awareness in Self-Improvement
- 13:46 Recap and What's Next
- 15:14 Closing Remarks
191. Overcoming Self-Abandonment
Becky talks about self-abandonment and its impact on relationships, particularly close family relationships. You will learn to identify five self-abandonment signs: fear of rejection, misunderstanding self-worth, avoiding negative emotions, reliance on external validation, and lack of boundaries.
00:00 Introduction and Personal Anecdote
00:39 The Importance of Close Relationships
01:45 Understanding People Pleasing and Codependency
03:03 The Concept of Self-Abandonment
03:30 A Real-Life Example: The Tire Pressure Incident
05:33 Recognizing Self-Abandonment in Relationships
08:42 Five Warning Signs of Self-Abandonment
13:51 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
190. What's in it for you?
Resentment Free Relationships: How to Improve Your Close Family Connections in 2024
In the January 2024 episode of the Resentment Free Relationships podcast, the host outlines the purpose, which is to assist listeners in improving their relationships, particularly close family ones.
She aims to teach listeners how to stop seeking approval and feeling overly responsible for others' feelings while building their self-confidence and authenticity. Encouraging self-discovery, knowledge acquisition, and personal growth. Emphasizing understanding personal identity, setting boundaries without fear, and effectively dealing with conflict and emotions. The upcoming year promises to be a period of learning and self-awareness, contributing to a peaceful and harmonious personal life.
00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast
00:39 The Ultimate Goal: Fixing Your Relationships
01:12 Learning to Stop Bending Over Backwards
02:08 Overcoming Guilt and Shame
02:23 Building Trust and Authenticity in Relationships
03:08 Learning to Set Boundaries and Say No
03:42 Overcoming Fear of Anger and Conflict
04:01 What to Expect in the Coming Year
04:12 Invitation to Tune in Weekly
04:37 Gratitude and Closing Remarks
189. A Year-End Audit -Wins and Wisdom
Year-End Review and Reflections: Wisdom and Wins of 2023
Becky reflects on the triumphs and lessons of 2023. She recounts personal experiences ranging from getting her bachelor's degree and becoming a certified life coach, to family projects and real estate ventures. She discusses embracing the challenges and changes that come with shifting stages of life, specifically in menopause and body acceptance. Becky also explores professional achievements in her coaching business, discussing topics she's tackled with clients. The aim is to encourage you to reflect on your victories and lessons of the year.
00:00 Introduction and Christmas Experience
01:28 Year in Review: Personal Achievements
06:50 Year in Review: Business and Career Milestones
10:03 Year in Review: Health and Fitness Journey
13:17 Conclusion and Encouragement for Listeners
188. Resentment-Free Holidays
Click on the link https://calendly.com/believefitness/45 and sign up for a free session where we will chat. about where you feel stuck, and where that negative emotion, which can turn into resentment, is bubbling up for you. So if you're feeling a lot of that resentment or feeling stuck click on the link, find me on Instagram, send me a DM, and let's chat.
187. How to Break Self Deception
In this episode, we discuss the importance of being honest with ourselves and how self-deception can manifest in various aspects of our lives. Through thought-provoking questions, we aim to bring awareness to these hidden patterns without the weight of self-judgment.
Key Questions Explored:
- What am I pretending not to know, or what am I pretending to not know is true?
- What is the thing I keep avoiding or not wanting to deal with in my relationships?
- What am I afraid to admit to myself, and how does it affect my choices and actions?
- What am I avoiding in my life, consciously or unconsciously?
186. Secret Contracts
Welcome to "Resentment-Free Relationships" with Becky Smith! In this episode, we explore the concept of "Secret Contracts" inspired by Kim and Penn Holderness. These silent agreements in relationships, formed through routine, can be both efficient and potential sources of dysfunction. We discuss common triggers like unequal household chores, drawing from personal experiences and reflections. Becky shares her own journey of renegotiating responsibilities, emphasizing open communication. As relationships evolve, she encourages non-judgmental discussions for adapting roles. This week's challenge: identify and discuss your secret contracts. For a helpful guide, visit BeckySmithCoaching.com and grab the freebie on "How to Get Along with Your Mother-in-Law." Thanks for tuning in – see you next time!
184. Becky's Guide to Ditching People-Pleasing on 'LDS and Loving It'
Becky joins Jordana Theissen as a featured guest on the "LDS and Loving It" podcast. Getting into some real talk about kicking those people-pleasing habits to the curb and building relationships without the baggage of resentment.
Becky shares her story, shining a light on how high-functioning codependency can mess with your vibe and why self-awareness is Key. She's all about swapping out those "shoulds" for what you truly want, putting you back in the driver's seat of your decisions.
Chatting about the nasty side of resentment, with some practical tips, allowing everyone to spot their patterns without piling on the shame. Ultimately, she's cheering on self-compassion, being true to yourself, and building real connections. It's like a heart-to-heart chat with your besties but with some seriously good advice!
183. Making Sense of Trauma with Denita Bremer
Learn how to identify and understand trauma, explore the role of the nervous system, and discover practical tools to navigate fear and build safety in relationships. Instagram @Denitabremer
denitabremer.com/
182. Resentment-Free Housework with Sabrina de Jong
Hey there! 🎙️ Join us for a cozy chat with the fabulous Sabrina de Jong as we unpack the mysteries of household life. Ever found yourself drowning in resentment? Fear not! We're turning that negativity into pure empowerment, drawing lessons from the amazing "Both Things Are True." Sabrina spills the beans on navigating the wild world of housework, sharing tips that might just change your daily grind. And guess what? Housework isn't just chores—it's a legit learning lab! Inspired by the brilliant essays of Kate Holbrook, we're diving deep into the unexpected lessons hidden in the mundane. Don't miss out on this heartwarming convo that'll make you see your to-do list in a whole new light! 🌟✨
181. Faith Matters 2 with Kristen Rutter
In this podcast episode, we continued our conversation with Kristen Rutter about the Faith Matters Conference. Here are the main points:
Jared Halverson talked about understanding opposites and encouraging open questioning without judgment.
Patrick Mason discussed the importance of creating a safe space for open discussions and the commitment to stay in the faith for positive change.
Jodi Moore addressed common fears related to faith and the need for empathy and understanding in addressing them.
The compass analogy stressed staying grounded in faith while seeking truth from various sources.
You can connect with Kristen Rutter on her Instagram (@Kristen.rutter.coaching) and find resources on her website (KristenRutterCoaching.com) for spiritual and self-connection.
180. Faith Matters with Kristen Rutter
In this episode of the "Resentment-Free Relationships" podcast, hosted by Becky Smith, Kristen Rutter is the featured guest. The episode primarily revolves around their shared experience attending the Faith Matters Conference and its unique approach to faith and spirituality. Kristen discusses key takeaways from notable speakers at the conference, emphasizing the importance of understanding faith transitions and creating safe spaces for open conversations.
Get Kristen's freebie at www.kristenruttercoaching.com.
Instagram @kristen.rutter.coaching
179. Spiritually Minded Podcast Guest
Spiritually Minded Podcast - Show Notes
1. Shifting Perspectives:
- Explore the importance of seeing life from God's perspective.
- Discuss the difference between worry and genuine love.
- Embrace the concept of family as a learning laboratory.
2. Striving for Good, Not Perfection:
- Focus on aiming for goodness rather than perfection in relationships.
- Understand the power of love and hope in transforming hearts.
- Let go of the pressure to "fix" others and place trust in Christ.
3. Trusting in God's Plan:
- Reflect on the Savior's role in guiding loved ones back.
- Highlight the significance of hope and trust in God's divine plan.
- Emphasize the value of self-love and non-judgmental attitudes in nurturing relationships.
178. Anger Phobia
Anger phobia is an extreme fear of anger in oneself and others. It can lead to avoidance of conflict, which can damage relationships and prevent personal growth.
Key Points
- Anger is a normal human emotion, but it can be harmful if it is not expressed in a healthy way.
- There are two main components of anger phobia: judgment and fear.
- Judgment can lead us to believe that anger is always bad, while fear can lead us to avoid it altogether.
- Both judgment and fear can be based on past experiences, such as being raised in a household where anger was not expressed in a healthy way.
- It is important to challenge our judgments about anger and understand the underlying fears.
- Once we understand our fears, we can start to develop healthier ways of dealing with anger.
Questions to Consider
- What is your relationship with anger?
- What do you think about anger in yourself and others?
- What fears do you have about anger?
- How do your fears about anger affect your relationships?
- What can you do to develop healthier ways of dealing with anger?
Action Steps
- Start by paying attention to your thoughts and feelings about anger. Notice when you are judging anger or feeling afraid of it.
- Challenge your judgments about anger. Ask yourself if they are true.
- Explore your fears about anger. What do you fear will happen if you express or experience anger from others?
- Develop healthy ways of expressing and dealing with anger. This may involve learning new communication skills or seeking professional help.
Conclusion
By understanding our judgments and fears about anger, we can develop healthier ways of dealing with this emotion.
177. Effective Communication Part 2
Tara Schmidt, a licensed marriage and family therapist, gives more real-life examples of communicating better in a family.
176. Tara Schmidt, A Therapist's Guide to Effective Communication
Tara Schmidt, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, joins the podcast to share her wisdom and advice on relationships.
The episode explores essential aspects of relationships, focusing on presence, trauma, attachment, and effective communication.
The Importance of Presence:
Presence is crucial in relationships, as trauma often stems from past wounds.
Trauma is defined as emotional wounds that affect our perceptions and responses.
Relationship issues often result from individual learnings and past wounds.
Staying present helps prevent misunderstandings and reactions triggered by unresolved traumas.
Recognizing and Managing Triggers:
Emotional reactions can signal underlying trauma or wounding.
Slowing down and identifying the root of emotional reactions is essential.
Communicating with your partner about your triggers fosters understanding and compassion.
Cultivating awareness and self-regulation skills is crucial for managing emotional triggers.
Attachment Styles and Their Impact:
Secure attachment involves creating a safe environment where individuals can be themselves.
Insecure attachment styles, such as anxious and avoidant attachment, result from inconsistent caregiving.
Anxious attachment can lead to clinginess and seeking constant reassurance.
Avoidant attachment may result in self-sufficiency and emotional distance.
Nurturing Safe Attachments:
Parents should create emotional safety and support in the home.
Safety includes allowing everyone to be themselves without fear of ridicule.
Healthy conflict resolution models positive relationship dynamics for children.
Balancing authenticity with emotional support promotes secure attachments.
Effective Communication:
The speaker-listener technique emphasizes active listening and empathy.
The listener's role is to understand the speaker's perspective without defensiveness.
Suspending one's own narrative temporarily facilitates empathetic listening.
Encouraging empathy and understanding in relationships leads to improved communication.
Conclusion:
Building resentment-free relationships involves presence, trauma recognition, attachment awareness, and empathetic communication.
Effective communication requires active listening and suspending one's perspective temporarily.
Nurturing safe attachments and emotional support within families is essential for healthy relationships.
175. Short and Sweet: A Self-Help Tip
This insightful episode delves into the transformative power of naming your emotions. Join us as we explore why identifying and labeling your negative and positive feelings can be a game-changer for your emotional well-being. Discover the Harvard-developed emotions list and learn how it can guide you toward greater emotional awareness. By the end of this episode, you'll understand why naming your emotions is not just a simple practice but a profound tool for self-discovery and personal growth. Tune in to boost your emotional intelligence and move closer to a happier, more empowered you.
174. Relationship Repair Guide
Podcast Title: Resentment-Free Relationship Podcast
Episode Title: Relationship Repair Guide
Show Notes:
In this episode of the Resentment-Free Relationship Podcast, the host shares valuable insights on repairing relationships without falling into the people-pleasing trap. Here's what you'll learn:
Acknowledging Hurt and Pain: Discover the importance of openly expressing your feelings and how a simple technique from puppy training can help you address misunderstandings with honesty and respect.
Finding and Owning Your Part: Understand the challenge of not overextending responsibility for others' emotions, especially if you tend to be a people-pleaser. Learn how to separate facts from narratives and respond thoughtfully to criticism.
Compassion and Empathy: Explore the power of dropping defensiveness and practicing compassion and empathy when addressing misunderstandings. Understanding how seeing things from the other person's perspective can aid in repairing relationships.
Tune in to gain valuable insights into repairing relationships with emotional maturity and honesty, without succumbing to people-pleasing pitfalls. Don't miss out on nurturing healthier, resentment-free relationships in your life.
Sign up for the Find Your Calm Yog/Lifecoaching workshop Saturday September 30th 2023 4:00pm at www.yogaascension.com
173. Sunday Talk
- How to create a new habit.
- The "USED" Acronym:
- U: Understand Doctrine, Principle, and Application.
- S: Start Small and Simple.
- E: Experiment to Find What Works.
- D: Drop Self-Judgment.
Applying the "USED" Framework:
- Practical examples of applying the framework to daily life.
Conclusion:
- Encouraging listeners to use the "USED" framework to follow principles consistently.
Sign up for the Find Your Calm Yoga-Life Coaching Workshop at www.yogaascension.com
172. The Perfectionism Trap
Episode Title: The Perfectionism Trap: Discovering the Path to Self-Acceptance
Episode Description: In this episode, join Becky, your host, as she dives into the intricate realm of perfectionism. Sharing her personal experiences, Becky opens up about her battles with perfectionism, procrastination, and people-pleasing—challenges many can relate to. Drawing inspiration from Brené Brown's insights, she guides you through the true nature of perfectionism and its impact on self-worth. Explore the transformational power of redefining "perfect," liberating yourself from its grip, and embracing self-acceptance. Becky offers practical strategies for overcoming perfectionism and finding peace in imperfection.
Key Takeaways:
- Discovering the interconnected struggle with perfectionism, procrastination, and people-pleasing.
- Brené Brown's perspective on perfectionism as a shield against pain, judgment, and shame.
- Rethinking the definition of "perfect" and its evolution across cultures.
- Unveiling the weight of perfectionism and its effects on self-worth.
- Recognizing the self-destructive nature of chasing perfection.
- Strategies to challenge perfectionism, including self-compassion and shifting expectations.
Episode Highlights:
- The unexpected shift in topic reveals Becky's passion for addressing perfectionism.
- Insights from Brené Brown's research and her insights into perfectionism.
- Redefining the word "perfect" to encompass deeper qualities beyond flawlessness.
- Strategies for embracing authenticity and breaking free from the perfectionism cycle.
- Real-life instances of applying strategies, from video content creation to fitness instruction.
- Encouragement to identify perfectionism's presence and take steps towards change.
Connect and Learn More: Ready to conquer anxiety? Join Becky's upcoming Yoga Life coaching workshop "Find Your Calm" on September 30, 2023, from 4 to 6 PM. Gain valuable tools to manage anxiety and find serenity in everyday life. Secure your spot now and take the first step toward a centered existence. www.yogaacension.com
Thank you for joining. Connect with us on social media @beckysmithcoaching.com on Instagram and continue the conversation. Remember, self-acceptance is the key. Until next time, practice kindness toward yourself and embrace the beauty of imperfection.
171. The 4-Step Process to Change Your Reality
In this episode, you will learn a powerful 4-step process that can help you change your reality. Becky shares tools that can help you to implement these steps, such as breath work, journaling, and meditation. If you are ready to change your reality, listen to this episode and learn how to use these powerful tools to create the life you want.
Sign up for September 30th workshop at www.yogaascension.com
170. How to Set Boundaries and Not Feel Like a Jerk
Setting boundaries is an important part of taking care of ourselves. But it can be difficult, especially if we're used to putting the needs of others before our own. When we set a boundary, we may feel guilty, angry, or scared. These negative feelings are normal, but they don't mean that we're doing the wrong thing.
169. 5 Healthy Ways to Deal with Family Members You Don't Like
This episode offers 5 healthy ways to deal with family members you don't like. The good news is you don't have to like them to start creating a healthier dynamic right now.
168. How to Make a Good Decision
In this episode, we explore the paradox of decision-making. On the one hand, we know that making decisions is essential to living a fulfilling life. On the other hand, we often find ourselves paralyzed by fear, indecision, or the feeling that there is no right answer.
We discuss the different factors influencing our decision-making, including our thoughts, emotions, and values. We also explore some simple tools and techniques that can help us make better decisions, even when there is no clear-cut answer.
Making good decisions is a powerful skill to help us achieve our goals and live our best lives.**
Here are some of the topics we discuss in the episode:
- The different types of decisions we make in our lives
- The factors that influence our decision-making
- The difference between good, better, and best decisions
- How to overcome the fear of making decisions
- How to own our decisions, no matter the outcome
- Simple tools and techniques for making better decisions
Enjoy this episode!
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167. Enneagram 2: The Need to Be Helpful
Becky discusses the Enneagram personality type 2, also known as the Helper. She talks about the key traits of type 2, both positive and negative, and how type 2s can grow and transform. Becky also shares her personal experience as a type 2 and offers tips for other type 2s looking to improve their lives.
The podcast is packed with valuable information for type 2s, and it is also a great introduction to the Enneagram for anyone who is interested in learning more about this fascinating personality typing system.
Here are some of the key points:
- Type 2s are motivated by the desire to be loved and accepted.
- They are often very caring and nurturing towards others but can also be people-pleasers and codependent.
- Type 2s can grow and transform by learning to set boundaries, say no, and focus on their own needs.
- The Enneagram is a powerful tool for self-understanding and personal growth.
If you are a type 2 or if you are interested in learning more about the Enneagram, I highly recommend listening to this podcast. It is packed with valuable information that can help you better understand yourself and live a more fulfilling life.
166. The Progress Principle
How to make Progress?
Celebrate each step as you move forward. Acknowledge small wins. Reflect on your progress. Celebrate your small wins.
Check out my new Website www.beckysmithcoaching.com
165. How To Disapoint Others And Why It Matters
Tune in to explore the delicate balance between belonging to others and being true to yourself. Learn how knowing your own wants, setting boundaries, and building emotional tolerance will set you free from Resentment.
164. Personal Freedom
Learn how the lies we tell ourselves can imprison us. It is beautiful to realize that you are in charge of your own personal freedom, no one else. The president, Congress, Supreme Court, or even the Constitution cannot entirely grant you freedom. Freedom is an inside job. Set yourself free by clicking the link https://calendly.com/believefitness/45 to chat with me on a freedom discovery call.
163. Presenting Resentment-Free Relationships
Discover "Resentment Free Relationships": Uncover the secrets to stronger connections without resentment. If you're tired of feeling anxious, frustrated, judged, hurt, or resentful in your relationships then this is the episode for you. Schedule a free 20-minute call and start your "Resentment-Free Relationship" today. https://calendly.com/believefitness/45
162. How To Own It With Grace
Learn three practical strategies to handle difficult situations with grace: finding the truth, embracing discomfort, and focusing on the positive. Improve your personal and family relationships by tuning in, and start owning it with grace today!
Click for your free fix my Relationships Call https://calendly.com/believefitness/45
161. Conflict vs. Contention: Understanding the Difference
This episode explores the fine line between conflict and contention and why understanding this difference is crucial in relationships.
Awareness is the first step in handling conflict with grace and fostering healthier relationships. Are you ready to resolve your conflicts before they become contentious sign up for my free Fix Your Relationship call now.
160. How to Have a Bad Day
Join us as we explore the importance of accepting and learning from bad days in this episode. Becky shares her personal experience and highlights the value of allowing ourselves to feel emotions without judgment. Discover how curiosity and acceptance can lead to valuable insights on embracing life's ups and downs with grace.
159. How to Re-create Your Marriage
158. More Often Than Not
Becky gives you some language to think of yourself and to think of motherhood in a different way. One that's maybe a little more truthful, that's a little less perfectionistic, and one that can kind of shatter that pedestal and that idea, and bring it back down to the real world that we live in.
Short and Sweet: Feeling Stuck Look For The Judgement.
This week. Feeling stuck. Look for the judgment.
Short and Sweet: An Introduction
Introducing a new segment called Short and Sweet. It will be just what it sounds like. Just a few things that are on my mind. Maybe they're quick wins. Maybe they're a little bit of inspiration or aha moments that I've had during the week. Enjoy!