Break the Cycle with Bethany Dotson

In this episode, we delve into the sensitive topic of self-shame when it comes to relationships. While you may appear successful and driven to the outside world, your love life may tell a different story. We discuss the frustration of repeat failures, despite investing in therapy, self-help resources, and even unconventional methods like Ayahuasca and ketamine therapy.

Join us as we explore the all-too-familiar pattern of self-sabotage that emerges when you start to like someone. We address the desire for a great relationship, often shrouded in shame and self-doubt. Is it possible to trust yourself again, and do you believe anyone would want you now?

We dissect these disempowering questions and more, especially the late-night rumination about your Ex when the kids are with their Dad. Tune in as we provide insights into how to stop beating yourself up and unveil the blueprint to heal your relational trauma and deep-rooted self-shaming.

If you're ready to break free from this cycle and pursue the happiness and love you deserve, this episode is a must-listen. Join us now!

Welcome to another episode of BREAK THE CYCLE where we explore the intricate reasons behind attracting narcissistic partners. If you've been stuck in the aftermath of a toxic relationship, or find yourself in repeated patterns with unavailable partners, this episode is a must-watch.

What You'll Learn:

• Why years of therapy might not have solved your relationship woes.
• The conflict between a successful career and hidden personal struggles.
• The consequences of hiding your true emotions and how it affects your life.
• The lingering effects of past relationships and how to move forward.
• Strategies to break the cycle of attracting toxic partners.

Timestamps: 00:00 - Introduction to the topic 02:30 - Therapy and self-insight: benefits and limits 05:45 - Career success vs. personal struggles 08:10 - The impact of past relationships on family life 11:30 - Feeling alone in social settings 14:50 - Strategies to avoid toxic relationships 18:00 - Conclusion and actionable tips

#NarcissisticRelationships #EmotionalWellbeing #SelfImprovement

• A look at the contradiction: How someone successful in their career can still be a magnet for emotionally unavailable partners.
• The silent struggle many face, despite seeming like they have it all together.

Main Content:

1. Understanding the Lure of the Narcissist
• The allure of charm and confidence, and the initial attraction.
• How they prey on empathetic individuals and use manipulation tactics.
2. The Toxic Cycle
• The highs and lows: Why it feels like a roller coaster.
• Recognizing the signs of gaslighting, invalidation, and manipulation.
3. Facing Reality Post-Breakup
• Why do some take longer to move on from narcissistic relationships?
• The prolonged effects of trauma bonding.
4. The Healing Process
• Therapy: Benefits and challenges.
• The role of self-awareness and self-education.
• Why 12 hobbies or a retreat might not be the ultimate solution.
5. Breaking the Pattern
• The scarlet letter syndrome: Attracting broken individuals.
• How to rewrite your love story.
6. Dating Again
• How to identify red flags early.
• Learning to trust yourself and your judgment.
• Creating and maintaining boundaries.
7. From Existing to Living
• Rediscovering joy in everyday moments.
• The role of self-love in reclaiming your life.
• Embracing vulnerability without compromising on self-worth.

Conclusion:

• Empowerment: You are not defined by your past relationships.
• Steps to regain control, find genuine love, and start truly living.

Call to Action:

• Share your stories and breakthrough moments with us on our social media platforms.
• Reach out if you resonate with today’s episode.

Welcome to Episode 42 of Break the Cycle! In this illuminating episode, we take on a heavy topic that many struggle with—loving the process of dating again after facing repeated betrayals. Whether you've been steering clear of dating for months or even years, or you've been engrossed in your career to avoid dealing with the emotional toll, we've got you covered.

We understand, the dating game can sometimes feel like a revolving door of disappointment and emotional unavailability. You've put in the hard work to improve yourself, yet the cycle persists. You're tired of investing in connections that seem promising only to end up being another cautionary tale. But what if you could break the cycle and magnetize yourself to healthy, meaningful relationships?

Today's episode explores:

1. Identifying Unavailable Patterns: How to spot red flags early in the dating process.
2. Therapy vs Transformation: Why your previous therapeutic journey might not have led to lasting changes in your love life.
3. The New Rules of Online Dating: Tips for navigating the digital dating landscape without losing your sanity.
4. Work-Life-Love Balance: How engrossing yourself in your career could be a defense mechanism and what to do about it.
5. Healing Trauma & Codependency: Concrete steps you can take now to break the cycle and start fresh.

BOOK A FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL: For single, professional women who meet specific criteria, we’re offering a complimentary breakthrough call to explore how you can heal trauma and codependency, elevate your life, and attract healthy partners.

Qualifications for the Breakthrough Call:

1. Single or divorced. You must be 100% DONE with an Ex.
2. Professionally successful.
3. Have had prior therapy but haven't seen lasting changes in your love life.
4. Ready for healing and transformative change NOW.

Tune in and let's take the first step towards breaking the cycle and embracing a future where love is not just possible, but fulfilling and authentic.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your support helps us bring more life-changing content your way.

Connect with us:

Picture this: by day, you're a powerhouse. A go-getter. A woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. You're fiercely independent, strong, and unstoppable. Yet, by night or behind closed doors, when it comes to love, you find yourself falling into a pattern of codependency, always available, always accommodating, always trying to heal or save your partner. Sounds familiar?

You may have been told by a therapist or realized after exhaustive research on narcissistic abuse that you exhibit traits of codependency. But how can that be? After all, in your daily life, you're the exact opposite. It's a puzzling dichotomy that many face - being hyper-independent in most facets of life but inexplicably codependent when it comes to romantic relationships.

On this episode, we delve deep into this paradox. What draws the assertive, independent woman to emotionally unavailable men? How can someone, who stands so strong alone, become so entangled in the needs and whims of another in love? And most importantly, how can you heal from this cycle?

Whether you've felt like you played the role of a therapist, cheerleader, or caretaker to your ex while managing everything else in your life, we're here to break down why this happens and what can be done about it.

For those ready to understand this pattern and seek change, join me in this enlightening episode.

In this episode, we are joined by renowned relationship coach, Bethany Dotson, who is here to talk about how successful, driven women can break the cycle of falling into emotionally unavailable relationships and finally trust themselves again. She dives into the importance of self-love, understanding past trauma, and cultivating self-awareness.

Timestamps:

• 0:00 - Introduction to Bethany Dotson and the topic of the episode
• 2:45 - The frustration of repeating the same patterns in love
• 5:00 - Understanding why you keep meeting emotionally unavailable partners
• 8:30 - How trauma affects our choice of partners
• 11:15 - The importance of healing past traumas for healthy relationships
• 13:30 - Bethany shares the 5-shift blueprint for healing trauma and attracting healthy partners
• 16:00 - Tips for breaking the cycle of codependency
• 18:15 - Building self-awareness and understanding your relationship patterns
• 21:00 - How to trust your judgment in relationships
• 23:30 - Techniques for coping with fear of pushing a great person away
• 26:00 - How therapy can help in understanding and breaking your patterns
• 28:15 - The role of self-love in finding and maintaining a healthy relationship
• 31:00 - Listener questions: How to recognize red flags early on in a relationship
• 33:15 - Listener questions: How to deal with the pressure from family and friends about your love life
• 35:30 - Final thoughts and wrapping up

Links:

Episode Overview:
Navigating the choppy waters of emotional aftermath following a breakup, especially if the relationship was abusive, can be one of the most challenging experiences of one's life. In this episode, we'll dive deep into the emotions, coping mechanisms, and transformative ways to overcome the profound loneliness that may ensue.

Timestamps:

• 00:01: Introduction to the episode topic
• 03:45: Real stories - the raw emotions of post-breakup
• 10:30: The paradox - missing chaos when life becomes calm
• 14:20: Self-reflection: "What's wrong with me?"
• 18:15: Unpacking the history - unavailable partners & emotional unavailability
• 23:00: The dangers of loneliness
• 28:00: Coping mechanisms vs. Healing
• 35:00: Breaking the patterns that push love away
• 41:00: Steps to overcome loneliness
• 45:10: Rebuilding after trauma
• 49:20: The journey to falling in love again: with life, oneself, and a partner
• 54:15: Closing thoughts & call to action

Key Takeaways:

1. Loneliness is Natural, But Not Permanent: Even after a tumultuous relationship, the emotions you feel are valid. But they're not your life's sentence.
2. The Chaos Comfort: Why we sometimes miss the bad times when things start to calm down.
3. Redefining Relationship Norms: It's possible to relearn love, how to choose partners, and how to connect on a deep, genuine level.
4. Rebuilding and Thriving: Overcoming the patterns that lead to emotional distance, and finding love that enriches your life.

Resources Mentioned:

Are you a highly accomplished woman who's rocking it in her career, yet struggling to find lasting love in your personal life? If you've experienced the frustration of attracting the wrong type of partner well into your 40's, 50's, or 60's, you're not alone. Join us on our upcoming live podcast as we delve into the top 5 habits that might be keeping you stuck in this pattern.

In "Breaking the Cycle: The Successful Woman's Guide to Healing Her Love Life," we'll explore the common challenges faced by smart, successful women who seem to excel in their professional pursuits but struggle when it comes to matters of the heart. We'll discuss the emotional gut-punch of seeing your Ex move on quickly after everything you've invested and the heartbreak of falling for someone who turned out to be worse.

Hosted by relationship expert Bethany Dotson, this transformative episode will be packed with eye-opening insights and practical tips to help you break free from the shackles of past trauma, rebuild your confidence, find inner peace, and ultimately attract healthy and loving partners.

During the episode, Bethany will unveil her exclusive 5-shift blueprint, a proven method used by her successful female clients to heal from past wounds, overcome codependency, and create thriving love lives. If you're ready to step into your best life and become truly magnetic to healthy partners, this episode is a must-listen.

Are You the Commitment-Phobe? 🤔💔

You find yourself in a cycle of unavailable, commitment-phobic, or emotionally abusive relationships, all while telling yourself "you're worth it." You may claim to desire a healthy relationship, but in the next breath, you're content with never dating again.

If you've reached 40, 50, or 60 without experiencing a fulfilling relationship, it's time to examine your own commitment issues. Ignoring red flags, intuition, and mounting evidence that a relationship isn't right for you keeps you trapped in this cycle. Avoiding dating or giving chances to those who blow hot and cold won't bring the lasting change you seek.

In this episode, we'll dive deep into how your own commitment issues are blocking you from the fulfilling relationship experiences you desire. We'll explore common traps that keep you stuck and provide insights on healing your fears of emotional intimacy.

How to Attract an "Equal" When You've Repeatedly Attracted Dysfunctional Relationships

You excel in your career, loving what you do and working hard. But when it comes to love, you find yourself repeatedly attracting partners who fall short of being the true partner you deserve.

From unavailability to addiction, infidelity, or narcissistic traits, these relationships leave you feeling lost and settling for less than you deserve. Your most recent Ex might have been the worst, leaving you questioning if you can ever attract an equal partner.

But don't lose hope! Join me as we delve into breaking this heartbreaking cycle in your love life. No need to swear off dating, become a workaholic, or spend years in talk therapy.

Are you a smart, successful woman who is navigating the dating scene again after a divorce or a toxic relationship? Perhaps you spent years hoping your partner would change, only to find yourself back on the market.

It can be a daunting experience, especially if you feel that men your age come with significant baggage or lack the communication and follow-through you desire in a partner. You've tried various avenues like online dating, going out with friends, attending social events, and taking care of yourself physically. Yet, you find yourself attracted to emotionally unavailable men or encountering those with their fair share of baggage or bad habits.

Maybe you've convinced yourself that all the men in your city are wrong for you or that high-level men only want younger women. You might even believe that finding love at 40, 50, or 60 is impossible, especially if you have a history of dysfunction and failed relationships.

But what if the key to meeting quality men your age isn't about the where, but rather the how? What if the fear and resistance within you are the barriers keeping love at bay?

Join us as we delve into the secrets of meeting quality men at your age and debunk the notion that a less-than-stellar love track record defines your future prospects. Discover the 5-shift blueprint that has empowered my successful female clients to heal past traumas, experience a surge in confidence, find inner peace, live their best lives, and attract healthy partners.

Why Being a Successful, Driven Women is Making You Magnetic to the Wrong Men

On the outside, you have your ish together. Successful career. Ambitious. Goal Oriented.

Except you always wind up with dysfunctional partners. Your family is concerned. Your kids roll their eyes when you talk about dating. You secretly feel like something's wrong with you.

And you do whatever you can to get rid of feeling inferior: lots of therapy, workaholism, shopping, travel, peak experiences that temporarily take you out of your mundane life...

You're doing all the "right" things...but keep meeting all the wrong men. Or avoiding love altogether in favor of....more work and excess busyness.

Tune in to learn WHY your drive is a match for unhealthy partners and what needs to shift in YOU so that you break a lifelong cycle of abandonment and disappointment in your love life.

Thank you for tuning in to our podcast! We hope you've enjoyed the episodes and found them impactful. We would love to hear your feedback, so please take a moment to leave us a rating and review wherever you listen. Your thoughts mean the world to us and help us continue to improve.

As a smart, successful woman you've likely struggled your entire life in love.

Aside from maybe a high school sweetheart, you repeatedly attract unfulfilling, unavailable or even abusive relationships.

Your most recent Ex was likely the worst.

You know you're the common denominator.

But even with years of talk therapy and hard work on yourself, you still can't get it right in the love department.

You're not sure if you can trust yourself to choose better. You're not sure you can trust other people. Dating = more disappointment.

You're stuck in no-man's land. Achieving in your career. Looking good on "paper". But feeling empty and alone inside.

If this sounds like you, tune in to learn what NOT to do...common traps so many intelligent women make when healing and learning to trust after narcissistic abuse.

For single professional women ready to heal narcissistic abuse trauma, open their hearts to daily happiness and eventually a great partner, book a free breakthrough call to see if we can help you break your cycle. Women who are a good fit are:

1. Successful professionally / in other life areas.
2. 100% done with her Ex
3. Have had prior therapy but didn't receive lasting change. There's still a GAP.

Still struggling to emotionally let go of your Ex?

Even though you know it would never work out?  
Still struggling to feel happy every day and trust yourself  YEARS later? 

Did you this was toxic, but still did everything you could to make it work?  

Worse, did he LEAVE you? 

Move on at lightning speed, while you're left picking up the pieces trying to feel excited about a future you didn't ask for? 

Tune into this week's episode for insights on emotionally MOVING ON and feeling EXCITED about your future post divorce or narcissistic Ex. 

For single professional women ready to heal narcissistic abuse trauma, open their hearts to daily happiness and eventually a great partner, book a free breakthrough call to see if we can help you break your cycle.

Women who are a good fit are:

1. Successful professionally or in other areas of their life

2. 100% done with her ex

3. Have had prior therapy but didn't see lasting change. There's still a GAP

RECLAIMING YOUR POWER: How to Live Your Best Life After Narcissistic Abuse

Maybe you just exited a long marriage with someone who, you eventually learned through a wise counselor or your own research...was a narcissist.

Maybe you knew things were off from Day 1...but thought with enough love you could work through anything.

Maybe all was great until Year 10...when the addiction or abuse started.

Maybe all of your romantic relationships have been unfulfilling...your most recent being the worst.

And now, you're picking up the pieces. Painting on a smile for clients and colleagues at work.

Lying to your kids that you're fine. Feeling like a ghost at church, work events or school functions when everyone else seems to be getting it "right" in love.

You suffered in silence long enough in a toxic relationship...and now that you're free...the suffering continues. Almost worse than before.

To everyone outside, you seem to be doing "fine". You're doing all the right things therapists and your mountain of self-help books tell you to do... but INSIDE?

You're crumbling. Stuck. Anxious and empty.

Tune in this week as I break down the exact steps I personally used and that I teach my clients to heal the past and live their best lives after betrayal trauma, divorce or narcissistic abuse.

YOUR TOXIC EX: THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?

When you're super honest with yourself....you've never had a truly healthy, satisfying relationship. After decades of waiting for your "Prince", you fell for your Ex.

Who was the MOST emotionally unavailable, abusive or dysfunctional person you'd been with YET. Of course, it didn't start that way. You may have sensed red flags immediately...but all of the love bombing quickly canceled out your concerns.

You're smart, driven, successful. You've had therapy. You're growth oriented...and yet the SAME TRAP keeps happening in your love life. You may now have so many walls up, you worry you'll push a really great person away. You may long for a healthy relationship....but have no idea how that could happen. You may even reminisce about who you WERE BEFORE you met your Ex. And silently beat yourself up for staying so long.

If you're in limbo after your Ex, continuously meeting duds in dating (while he moved on at lightning speed), tune into this week's EPISODE for important concepts needed to shift you out of stuckness and into soaring confidence.

When Janet enrolled in Break the Cycle, she’d been following me for years.

She came across some videos when she was still in an unhealthy marriage.

Janet, like many women we work with, married young.

She knew in the first 3 months of her marriage that she’d picked the wrong person…

But fear of displeasing others, among other things, caused her to stay.

For 23 more years.

In that time, they had 2 children. She built a successful sales career.

But for 23 years stayed small within the walls of her marriage.

She battled people-pleasing and perfectionism… wanting to be liked by others and fearing “making people feel bad”.

Years of watching our videos and content, helped her find the courage to finally leave her husband for good.

When he moved out during the divorce process, she booked a call, enrolled right away in Break the Cycle and never looked back.

She thought this was going to be a “how to meet Mr. Right” kind of a program. How to never fall for another narcissist again…

She wasn’t expecting such deep, profound changes in just 3 short months.

Afterall, if you consistently wind up in unfulfilling relationships…the common denominator is you.

Today, she has a deeper bond with her teenage kids.

She can be around her Ex with ZERO animosity and co-parent in a healthy way for her kids.

She received a promotion in her sales career that provides more financial security as a single mom.

She LOVES being alone, whereas before, weekends without her kids made her anxious, lonely and insecure.

She sets boundaries with others without guilt now. She communicates through conflict with grace and staying centered in her heart.

And she’s the most confident, radiant version of herself.

A lot of people think it’s going to take YEARS to see any kind of changes after such a long time in a dysfunctional relationship.

But with the right plan, evidence-based methods for healing trauma and guidance, you can make massive changes in 90 days.

TUNE IN BELOW to hear Janet’s powerful story of transformation and the advice she has to other women who are still struggling to heal after narcissistic abuse.

ARE YOU ADDICTED TO DIFFICULTY?

You may have been "addicted" to your Ex.

So now that you've left...

And you've faced your fears of starting over and being alone and the risk of never meeting anyone ever again and dying alone...

You vowed to be the BEST version of you EVER...

You focused 1000% on your career. Travel. Retreats. Therapy. Coaching.

You learned 9,476,987,253 ways to spot a narcissist thanks to the internet.

Maybe you started a business. Or 3....

But no matter what, you STILL FIND YOURSELF feeling drained and resentful.

You always seem to DO MORE than everyone else at work. While they get all the good clients, accounts and prime vacation time...WTF?

You go out with your girlfriends...only to drink too much and get caught up in complaining about how crappy online dating is when you're 50.

You go to church or your kid's parent weekend at college...only to feel like something's wrong with you when you see all the couples, and you're alone.

You certainly didn't PLAN for this to be your life.

No one wakes up one day and decides to marry an emotional abuser and spend years hoping to make it work out.

No one says they want to be a "workaholic" when they're 10 years old.

Abuse is never your fault...but could it be that you're actually addicted to difficulty and chaos?

And making things WAY MORE DIFFICULT than they need to be? Tune in to find out....and how to break your OWN internal addictions to unavailability and feeling like the victim so you can have more joy, inner peace and love in your life.

ARE YOU MORE CONTROLLING THAN YOUR EX?

Perhaps you've been on the receiving end of a brutal divorce with a narcissist who seems to purposely argue and drag things out....JUST to piss you off. MORE.

Perhaps you sensed red flags with your Ex in the *first week* but stayed 20 years, hoping he would change.

Perhaps now, that you're single and figuring out who you are again, life feels like a giant rut and you constantly question whether you'll ever find love.

Perhaps you've also found yourself in unfulfilling career environments...

Getting roped into projects you don't like, picking up the slack for low performing colleagues...or worse, working for a narcissistic, no-way-you-can-win boss?

COULD ALL OF THIS....really boil down to your own control issues?

Yes, yours.

Tune in to find out...and most importantly how to heal the trauma, fear and insecurities BEHIND your fixing, rescuing and control issues so you can experience *healthy* love.

You work extremely hard on yourself.

You're probably extremely hard on yourself. PERIOD.

You've pushed yourself to be successful in your career.

And while someone like you *should* have an amazing partner...

All you keep getting are emotionally unavailable or abusive men.

Workaholics, alcoholics, complain o-holics.

You've ignored SO MANY red flags over the decades, you could teach a masters program at Harvard on how to get into sh*tty relationships and drain yourself hoping it works out.

So it's only natural that you have massive trust issues.

Those SAME trust issues bty, may be keeping you in a draining career or position, because deep down you don't believe in yourself in enough.

It's a lot easier to blame your trust issues on your Ex...when your intuition was telling you from date 1 this guy was bad news.

But blame won't heal you. Whether it's your Ex...or your boss.

It makes your trust issues worse.

AND actually makes you an emotional match for another toxic person (or career) later on.

Tune in with me to learn how to heal the trust with YOURSELF and attract more success in life and healthy men...even if you've never had a healthy relationship before.

Did you dedicate DECADES to your Ex?

Did you sense red flags EARLY on...and hoped they were nothing? Hoped you could handle them? Hoped he would change?

Did you FIGHT SO HARD to make it work...and now can't stop ruminating about how fast he moved on?

Or worse, questioning if you should've even left in the first place?

Are you trying your best to stay super busy at work...but find your performance is down...that it's a struggle to get through every day?

Do you feel embarrassed around other parents at school functions? Like an outsider around happily married coworkers?

Are you numb, afraid of the unknown and don't know HOW you'll ever feel joy, excitement and love life single...let alone EVER meet another partner...who's healthy?

If you're SICK AND TIRED of living in the rearview mirror...many months or YEARS after your Ex and you're terrified of winding up alone, this episode is especially for you.

TOP 4 MISTAKES KEEPING YOU STUCK AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE...EVEN IF YOU'VE DONE ALL THE THERAPY AND SELF HELP

You're smart and driven. And yet, at 40, 50 or 60...you've never had a healthy romantic relationship.

They *start* off OK, but your MO is ignoring many, MANY red flags...hoping this person will change.

Addicted to an unavailable person you know isn't right for you, but that you can't quit.

Losing yourself in the process.

Your last Ex was the worst of them all. Even after years of talk therapy and googling your eyeballs out on the "narcissist."

WHY? FOR THE LOVE ALL THAT'S GOOD AND HOLY does this keep happening to you?

In spite of your best efforts, you might be making one (or all 4) of these common mistakes.

If you long for daily happiness, fulfillment, unshakeable self trust and someone to share your life with I'm breaking down the exact roadblocks keeping you from that experience.

It's not ignoring red flags. It's not that you need to learn the signs of a "narcissist" or get better at boundaries.

You're 30, 40, 50 PLUS. You've never had a healthy relationship.

You'll tell yourself your narcissistic Ex *started healthy* and try to make that count.

But I'm not here to sugarcoat the (painful) reality of only knowing unhealthy love.

Maybe your thing is rushed intimacy followed by painstakingly hollow distance, makeup and breakup cycles...or gaslighting and you minimizing the bad behavior to stay in it...and go back to the good times.

You've meditated. You've prayed.

You've talked it out in counseling. To your friends. To your concerned family....who can't understand why such a successful, amazing person like you keeps winding up with men nowhere near your level.

You've rehashed your painful childhood traumas. You've read. You've retreated. You've been the shoulder to cry on for SO.MANY.DAMN. PEOPLE. Ex's, family, friends, clients, your kids.You get massages. Mani/pedi's. You're involved with your kids. You feel guilty for the damage and relationship examples you set for them and pray to God they do better.

You're an outstanding woman with a heart of gold, who's come SO FAR from any past heartache and trauma... so why the hell do you keep winding up with men who can't give you what you need?

Even when you've tried EVERYTHING TO work on yourself and heal?

You're missing a few hairline tweaks...about YOU. You are the barrier. YOU are standing in your own way.

And I'm going to be breaking down the 3 most common things you're likely doing right NOW that are blocking you from true emotional freedom, inner peace, self-trust and amazing, emotionally available love (when all you've known are narcissists, emotionally unavailable duds and commitment-phobes).

HOW DO I EMBRACE VULNERABILITY AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE? Even if every time I've let my guard down, I'm betrayed or disappointed?

How do I ever trust myself again?

How will I ever know I'm trusting the right person when I do date again?

How will I know if those are red flags or just me being terrified and overreacting?

Likely questions that have circulated your mind since you left.

As a smart, driven woman you may have turned to your career to fill the hole your Ex left.

Swapping one codependent relationship...for another.

Your heart longs to share your life with someone...but with your track record, you have ZERO confidence in your ability to actually have that.

When around friends or colleagues, you may plaster on a fake smile....but go home feeling empty.

You can be amongst friends...but still feel deeply disconnected and like the "outsider".

When you stop and think about it, no one really knows the REAL YOU.

Your heart KNOWS you must be vulnerable to have the type of love you want...but you've spent so many decades GUARDED, overachieving or walking on eggshells, that you don't know HOW to let the walls down.

Tune in as I break down the exact steps for embracing and BEING vulnerable...even if you've repeatedly attracted dysfunctional relationships and your last Ex was the WORST.

OVERCOMING YOUR #1 BARRIER TO HAVING A HEALTHY, LOVING RELATIONSHIP...(Even if you're 40 plus and have repeatedly fallen for toxic partners)

******************************************************

You work hard on yourself. Maybe you came from a dysfunctional childhood (like 70-80% of the population).

And you vowed to NEVER be like your parent(s). So, you doubled down on your education.

You landed a great career. You secured the finances, the car, the vacations. You probably got married to what you "thought" was your soulmate...only to later recognize he was a narcissist.

When you're REALLY HONEST with yourself... EVERYONE you've ever fallen for is unavailable or some shade of "narcissist".

It's like no matter how much therapy you try, how many YEARS you take off dating to "find yourself"

You keep walking into the same familiar trap in love.

Believe it or not, you're not cursed. And you're not doomed to ongoing betrayal, loneliness or being single with 14 cats. (Unless of course, that's your dream scenario).

Tune in to find out why...after ALL THE WORK you've done on yourself...love continues to elude you.

WHY YOU FELL FOR SOMEONE WORSE THAN YOUR EX

Even if you took time off to heal and love yourself

You're a strong, successful woman. You work hard in your career. You've likely raised children. At times single handedly.

A stranger looking at you would assume you have your ish together.

A stranger looking at you probably WOULDN'T peg you as a woman who attracts dysfunctional or abusive relationships.

In fact, you may be telling yourself your marriage didn't work out simply because you grew apart. When you knew very early on there were red flags.

You might tell yourself narcissists are everywhere...and lots of women date them. It can happen to anyone.

Perhaps to avoid facing the hard truth that you keep winding up in unavailable or dysfunctional relationships.

In fact, your most recent Ex...may have been the WORST of them all.

Even when you did all the therapy and self help books and hobbies to rebuild your sense of self when you left.

So WHY are you still struggling? Tune into this week's episode for some key insights and exactly what you need to do in order to shift this lifelong pattern.

When Candis came to me, she was emotionally at rock bottom.

She’d just left a 15 year toxic marriage.

She’d never had a healthy romantic relationship.

She had childhood trauma and a long career in law enforcement.

Being “guarded” at work and walking on eggshells at home was all she knew.

She’d been in talk therapy…but felt she was just talking in circles.

Venting over and over and over again about her Ex.

NOT feeling better.

And in many ways, feeling even WORSE than she did when she was IN the marriage.

When she came across my Facebook Ad…and then watched the webinar, she was intrigued...but skeptical.

Could something she found on Facebook actually be legit?

Was I a scam?

Could she trust me?

These were all normal fears in her mind.

Understandable, especially coming from someone with trauma and massive trust issues.

But her heart resonated with what I said. Her gut told her to book a call.

And she took a leap of faith and enrolled in Break the Cycle and WENT ALL IN.

And life for her hasn’t been the same since.

In just 3 MONTHS…Candis has made more progress than she ever did in talk therapy.

Life is better than she could have imagined. She’s happy. Confident. Embracing life. Attracting healthier people.

The most emotionally stable she’s been in a long while.

And most importantly TRUSTING HERSELF in relationships.

Tune in to hear her inspiring, powerful transformation story.

If you’re a single or divorced professional, high achieving woman who feels dead inside after an emotionally abusive marriage…and likely a lifetime pattern of dysfunctional relationships…

DOING A TON OF WORK ON YOURSELF...BUT STILL MEETING THE WRONG MEN (OR HUNG UP ON AN EX)?

You may have heard from a well meaning therapist that it's going to take a LOOOOONNNG time to heal from your Ex, the divorce.

And really...your overall pattern with men.

You may have seen comments in forums: "I left 8 years ago, and I'm still destroyed."

You may have spent years (if not most of your life) in therapy. Trying your damnedest to undo your childhood trauma.

You've read. You've meditated. You've Reikied. Taken time off dating. Taken solo walks in the woods. You've journaled your heart out. Gone on retreats. You've smudged sage, prayed, gotten in shape, gotten a new home, a new promotion, a new wardrobe, a new haircut...heck, even a new car.

And yet...inside, you still feel lonely. You still aren't sure you can trust yourself. Or you still find yourself falling into the same pattern with men.

What the hell? You've worked so hard on yourself...is life just unfair? Are you going to have a broken picker forever?

No. That is, not if you apply what I'm going to share in this week's episode.

THE HORRENDOUS COST OF HOPE

You likely told yourself "I hope that's nothing to worry about" the first time you sensed red flags with your Ex.

You probably got REALLY GOOD at hoping you'd finally get it right together. Even after years of mounting dysfunction.

You may be now HOPING one day the right one comes along...even though it's been years since you've been on a date... or you tend to pick people apart citing reasons it would never work.

You may be a workaholic, HOPING that one day when you finally have X amount in your retirement account, more time...

Or that when you finally finish those kitchen renovations ....that you'll be happy and have a chance to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

If you're 40, 50 or 60 plus... consider yourself a driven, goal oriented woman who's never had a healthy, romantic relationship, tune in live with me as we explore the high price tag of HOPE and what it really takes to actually solve a lifetime of love dysfunction and have healthy relationships.

HOW SMART, CAREER WOMEN HEAL A LIFELONG PATTERN OF ATTRACTING "NARCISSISTS" AND BECOME MAGNETIC TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

You're educated. You work hard in your career. You're probably an overachiever. To people on the outside, you're successful at what you do and have your shit together.

Except on the INSIDE...you're crumbling.

You stay chronically busy to avoid feeling lonely at night when you come home.

You just got out of another toxic relationship (who felt like your soulmate and who was WORSE than your other Ex's)

Your kids roll their eyes when you talk about dating. (Ouch) OR your kids may be picking the wrong partners too, which leaves feeling like you've failed them.

And you constantly wonder if you'll EVER have a healthy relationship...or if you're just supposed to accept that you're somehow "broken" and meant to be alone.

You've probably done LOTS of work on yourself already: therapy, books, retreats, research...but you still struggle with boundaries.

You still feel like something's wrong with you. And you keep avoiding dating. Or choosing the wrong people.

If this is you, this episode will break down the steps needed to heal this toxic pattern in your love life...without 5 more years of therapy or researching your eyeballs out on the "narcissist."

So many smart, high achieving women repeatedly fall into dysfunctional relationships. That often, progressively get worse as the years roll by.

She may spend many months researching her Ex's toxic behavior...only to find herself dating another unavailable or abusive partner a few months or years later.

By the time she hits midlife...the future feels bleek.

She may paint on a smile to coworkers, and seem like the confident leader at work...

But behind closed doors, she feels empty.

Alone. Like a fraud. Separate. And doubtful if she'll ever feel truly happy or know what an incredible relationship feels like.

Sadly, many women camp out here for YEARS...if not DECADES. Going to work. Getting caught up in the daily demands of life.

But 5-10 years later, still standing in the same place. Feeling separate, unhappy, uncertain. Or in many cases, falling for another unhealthy partner...ignoring all the red flags and staying long past the expiration date AGAIN.

Tune in with me Thursday 11/10 as I break down what it takes to transform the trauma you've been through in love into a catalyst to live your most wildly fulfilling life.