SHIT (Self.Help.Ideas.Thoughts.)

My dear friend, Ashlee, is someone I’ve admired for over a decade, as an endless student of life, fierce advocate for positive change, and badass human who always speaks her truth. Ashlee shares her experience of living in Africa and what she wants you to know about the culture, then takes us on her Ayahuasca journey in the Netherlands.

Our lives have seasons to them. Only WE can determine our next moves or non-moves. Are you taking too much action or perhaps avoiding it, altogether?

Hilary, a dear friend and Licensed Mental Health Counselor, shares her personal experience in this role, as well as answers my questions on the complexities of trauma. Hilary feels that a good therapist should feel like a “warm hug.”

Hooray for pain! It’s too easy to avoid feeling our pain, especially if we’ve been doing so for many years. This past week I’ve been feeling some old, foundational pain, which I’m choosing to see as an opportunity to feel it before bottling it or distracting myself.

I’ve been in Marijuana Anonymous for close to one year now. It still feels silly to admit that, since M.A. isn’t spoken of very often. That said, I have a sponsor who’s been a deeply supportive, guiding light for me in all aspects of my life. In this episode, she answers many questions about M.A. and shares her insight on addiction in general.

My bladder has been unreliable for as long as I can remember. Here are some of the fun details!

I’m feeling silly and unhinged and discussing my relationship with being present. Sometimes we spend the whole day in our heads, but all it takes is a little practice to live in this current moment.

We all have desires and dreams, yet many of us find a million excuses for why pursuing them isn’t practical or even possible. Whatever you believe, you’re correct. Let’s change these beliefs.

Rory James is a very funny and talented comedian and the host of podcast “I’m Super Excited” - where he shares weekly positive hilarity with all kinds of amazing guests in the creative biz. He’s my dear friend and has killer biceps.

Affirmations like these have positively changed my daily life in ways that I never expected - which is why it took me so long to get into them. My self esteem is higher and I feel good about who I am on a more consistent basis. Committing to saying them for 21 days in a row gives you an opportunity to FEEL the difference. Enjoy the process 😉

From eating disorders to Bipolar 2 to BPD, my dear friend, Esther, shares a detailed account of her experiences through the most difficult periods of her life and how she got help.

I share my feelings about Inauguration Day and my new perspective on how to move through overthinking and obsessive thoughts.

Even when things are going okay, fears and anxieties creep in and can be relentless. While we don’t want to perpetuate them, sharing them is important, as well as plenty of other techniques to get us to a more calm state of mind.

It’s 2021 and WOW, this new year feels like a big deal. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves at times like these and let’s not forget that we just made it through 2020. Let’s give ourselves a break. We can take action without obsessing over the results. Also it’s your party and you can cry if you want to.

If there was ever a time to have learned a few things, this was the year. Here’s what I’ve learned about myself on a personal level in 2020. 🥸 Cover Photo: my 2020 Vision Board that I created at the end of 2019 😮

Each of our family dynamics are different and yet all of them can be painful, aggravating, loving, and supportive. Although our families have typically been our blood relatives, we are gifted with opportunities to CREATE family members with new humans who we cultivate loving relationships with. Even if we struggle with our family foundations, we always get to choose to nurture healthier relationships with others. This is important to remember, especially around the holidays.

Codependency is not uncommon and it presents itself in different formats. I share my experience with it and what I’m doing to help ease my codependent tendencies. As impossible as it may sometimes seem, we EACH deserve to live our lives without feeling restricted by the behaviors of another person.

I’m grateful for this platform to speak my thoughts and feelings, to make fun of myself, that I found a new therapist, and for my pants. Gratitude lists HELP.

Do you believe you deserve to experience joy? This answer is very telling. Also spoiler - you do! I also discuss the excuses we make in making positive changes for ourselves and how balance feels damn near impossible.

I’m delving into my qualms with the Law of Attraction. The LOA makes so much sense. But what about all of the layers and complexities of human feelings and emotions?

Actress, Yogi, Healer, and Creative Nikki Tilmouth graciously shares her process in getting sober, coming out as bisexual, the importance of living in authenticity, and the spiritual lessons she’s learned on her journey.

As I drink my Dunkin Donuts coffee, I discuss my feelings on The Law of Attraction and why I’m really digging it.

How giving myself permission has allowed me to change how I move through the current world. Whatever rules and guidelines we’ve created/adopted for ourselves - emotionally and otherwise - sometimes we need permission to do things differently.

My medication management took a turn for the worse, but I’m hoping to now be on the right track. How surrendering has brought me some peace during this time. What does surrendering mean for you?

Baby Steps. We’re being pushed to look inside ourselves and are given the opportunity to change the things in our lives that need adjusting. But it happens one day at a time and patience is key. I share a fun movie clip that resonates with this topic and give a progress update from this past week.

Loving ourselves has somehow proven to be challenging beyond belief. What does it even mean? Here are my experiences, thoughts, and also a progress update.

It’s difficult to feel pain, in any capacity. But oftentimes, we tend to distract ourselves from feeling it. I believe our lives becomes easier when we allow ourselves to feel and accept discomfort, allowing for a smoother growth process. Our feelings don’t disappear just because we’re afraid to confront them. We are capable of doing this.

It’s imperative that you understand that these feelings are temporary, even when you’re feeling hopeless. I’m very newly back on medication, hoping for the best, and sharing more details of this process. Whatever format your mental illness takes, you are not alone. Trust me. You are loved.

I’ve hit a painful wall. (Most walls would be painful) Lots of lessons being learned, daily. I want to help, desperately, and I will. But I have to take care of my body and mind, first. It’s an admission that’s difficult to share, but it’s the truth.

Nothing we say is going to feel *right* at this moment, but we have to have an open dialogue. I share memories of prejudice growing up, my thoughts on the recent necessary upheaval, and being an empath during this time.

There’s so much more I could think, say, and do......God help us.

I share how I’ve been taking matters into my own my own hands when it comes to my serotonin levels, how things are progressing, and the role my subconscious beliefs have taken.

In this episode, I discuss the importance of accepting reality, the utmost importance of sharing our thoughts and feelings, and recent techniques that have helped me, immensely.

An honest disclosure of my fears with where I’m going with this. Details of where I am, chronologically, in my process, and WHY I decided to make these changes for myself. Advocating for anti-depressant medication and why they can be so important. Then, a brief admission of rage while running errands in quarantine. Remember: wherever you are, honor it. Love yourself, accept yourself, make room for all of the messy aspects that come with being human.

An unscripted, messy chat to kick things off, while walking in a park (please mind the occasional winds) For an hour, I share my experiences with my drug of choice, weed, my depression, my recent “sobriety,” and microdosing with psilocybin. All of these chemical changes began just slightly prior to the U.S. being in Quarantine, but this is a brief history of where substances and I began and where I am, currently. The purpose of this episode is not to condone OR bash any substance in particular. I have found that many people have questionable attachments to them, and my hope is that this admission could provide some comfort for others who question their own relationships with them. I am NOT an expert, but merely a human going through an experimental evolution, that perhaps some will relate to.