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Betrayal Recovery Radio: The Official Podcast of APSATS

Betrayal Recovery Radio: The Official Podcast of APSATS

By Betrayal Recovery Radio
Betrayal is traumatic, and those who have been betrayed by partners living secret lives of sexual addiction deserve to be empowered and supported with knowledge and resources to allow them to move from shock through grief and into growth. On Betrayal Recovery Radio, important topics for both sex addicts and their partners will be shared through conversations leading to hope and healing.
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Life Integrity, with Michelle Dyett-Welcome and Dr. Jake Porter
After the discovery of sexual betrayal, betrayed partners need much more than "mere sobriety" for trust to be rebuilt. In this episode, Dr. Jake interview APSATS Certified Partner Coach Michelle Dyett-Welcome on the topic of life integrity. By focusing on issues of character and the necessity of core values living, those who have committed betrayal can experience deep healing for themselves, and make a space for the healing of their partners and relationships.   Links mentioned in the show: https://apsats.org https://go.drjakeporter.com https://bectspsa.com michelle@bectspsa.com https://www.facebook.com/bectspsa https://www.instagram.com/michelledyettwelcome/
45:09
June 23, 2022
What I've Learned So Far: Essential Reflections on Working with Addiction and Betrayal, with Dr. Jake Porter
In this episode, Dr. Jake reflects on some of the things he's learned over the years he's worked with sex addicts and betrayed partners. He discusses why these lessons are important for both professionals in the field but also those individuals seeking to recovery from the consequences of addiction and betrayal. Dr. Jake expands on these eight lessons: Betrayal is an issue of justice. Disclosures can be healing rather than traumatic. Co-occurring disorders must be assessed, diagnosed, and treated. Empathy is essential for individual and relational healing. No one can set a boundary for anyone else (ask for disclosure). Grief is where the healing happens. Lack of capacity is different from lack of will. Values provide a positive direction for change. Listen in to be empowered with knowledge that can change the course of your healing journey. Links mentioned in the show: APSATS.org drjakeporter.com daringventures.com "Are You On the Coaster" Video
56:53
June 09, 2022
Disclosing Truth After Betrayal, with Dan Drake, Janice Caudill, and Dr. Jake Porter
Discovery of sexual betrayal erodes safety, trust and intimacy in relationships. This brings devastation to the partner and the relationship. So how do we start the process of healing after sexual betrayal? One major way to begin healing is through a formal disclosure process, facilitated by a professional. In this episode, we’ll explore what a formal disclosure is, as well as the benefits and risks of doing a disclosure. We’ll address best practices in the full disclosure process, including exploring different options for how these disclosures can take place. We’ll utilize resources we’ve created for facilitating safe and effective disclosures, and how couples can begin to heal after sexual betrayal. Links from show: drjakeporter.com www.disclosurehope.com www.intensivehope.com apsats.org
54:58
June 09, 2022
Resiliency in the Wake of Trauma, with Sara Schulting-Kranz and Dr. Jake Porter
Our difficult life experiences and traumas, including those we have collectively experienced in the last few years, have created an opening for personal growth, healing, and an opportunity to connect within our community in a way that we were never offered in the past. Through her own experience of walking through personal devastation and loss while healing in nature, Sara shares the principles she’s developed and uses to guide men and women on healing retreats in the Grand Canyon and Alaska. Together we create upward positive change while deepening internal relationships, fostering forgiveness, implementing thought-leadership tools that create belonging, and empowering through authentic leadership that fosters change in the world.
54:02
May 26, 2022
Putting Together the "Plan" After Betrayal w/ Tiffany Comiskey & Dr. Jake Porter
When someone is suffering from Betrayal Trauma, they are typically frightened, angry, confused, sometimes frozen in a state of shock wanting to just feel safe. So safety and stabilization is the immediate mission with a betrayed partner. Throughout the healing process the partner will constantly be pointed back to the issue of safety because that is the root to being able to trust again. Regardless of how long she has been on her journey, she can have a plan, which will be formable as she moves through the recovery process, on day one. This plan can benefit both the healing of the betrayed partner individually, and the healing of the relationship — if the betraying partner is willing to join in.
47:57
May 05, 2022
How Intimacy Clarifies Grief and Empowers Growth
Both the addict and the partner suffer from the loss of time, meaning, and clarity. Connecting together through pain, shame, and helplessness (vulnerability) enables them to recreate a shared story of suffering and recovering together. Learning to grieve one's own losses is critical for individual recovery; learning to grieve shared losses is critical to relational recovery. When the addict, in particular, learns to walk through the partner's experience there is an empathic exchange that recreates a new story in the safety of being seen, heard, and felt. Grief is clarified in that the past takes on new meaning. Both the addicted partner and the betrayed partner begin to view their history as a shared truth. As a result, they are empowered to experience growth toward an entirely new and different relationship — one that is healthy and life-giving. Links: http://apsats.org http://go.chooseconnectionsummit.com http://daringventures.com/windell
49:12
April 21, 2022
Understanding Grief After the Discovery of Betrayal, with Dr. Jake Porter
Grief is an inevitable part of the healing processes for those who have been impacted by the discovery of betrayal, as well as for those who have done the betraying. Grief and mourning, the second phase of APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model, is where those who have experienced loss begin to create a new meaning that leads to healing and the ability to move forward. In this episode, Dr. Jake discusses grief as it relates to betrayal trauma. Discovery insights from clinical theories of grief, the neurobiology of grief and trauma, and practical ways to move through the grief process. Links for the episode: APSATS.org DrJakePorter.com Show notes can be found here: http://shorturl.at/nBCGX
59:34
April 14, 2022
When Self-Help Hurts, with Dr. Jake Porter and Jessica Guillory
Recovery is meant to be a journey, not a destination. Healing is not an end unto itself, but a process needed to make another way of living possible, without the weight of trauma and addiction. In this conversation between Dr. Jake and Jessica Guillory, an APSATS-trained LPC, they discuss how people can begin to see signs that efforts for recovery might be getting in the way of post-traumatic growth.
49:37
April 07, 2022
Addiction & Betrayal Q&A, with Dr. Jake Porter and Andrea Rogers, CPC
The twin processes of recovery from sex addiction and healing from betrayal trauma can be complicated. The complexity of the wounds, both individually and relationally, can leave people feeling disoriented and lost. In the Q&A session, Dr. Jake Porter and APSATS Certified Partner Coach Andrea Rogers take on those questions from actually folks in the trenches of the recovery process. Links mentioned during the show: http://APSATS.org https://www.fullyalivecoachingllc.com http://drjakeporter.com http://chooseconnectionsummit.com
01:00:23
March 31, 2022
Couples Heal with Empathy, with Carol the Coach and Dr. Jake Porter
Couples who have suffered the consequences of sexual addiction and betrayal have quite the journey ahead. While traditional models of recovery focus on parallel processes of recovery for the addicted and betrayed partners, Carol the Coach's new model — ERCEM — helps couples begin healing together through the power of empathy. Links mentioned in the show: APSATS.org ChooseConnectionSummit.com https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com/ DrJakePorter.com
57:01
March 24, 2022
Tell the Truth: Using Polygraphs Effectively w/ Stephen Cabler & Dr. Jake Porter
The use of polygraphs in sexual addiction recovery has been a long-debated subject, but one with increasing use by many clinicians and coaches. Many disclosure processes now take advantage of polygraph technology as a tool to increase effectiveness. In this conversation with polygraph examiner Stephen Cabler, Dr. Jake draws out some basics about how to use polygraphs effectively in the recovery process.
57:02
March 17, 2022
Effective Advocacy After Spiritual Trauma w/ Stacey Sadler and Dr. Jake Porter
A sadly common experience of betrayed partners is finding additional trauma rather than support when they go to leaders of their faith communities. Though they often mean well, religious leaders sometimes end up furthering the damage done to coming to them in crisis after the discovery. Betrayed partners need to understand the dynamics of spiritual trauma in order to process and heal from the harm they've received.  In this episode, Dr. Jake interviews APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Stacey Sadler, LPC, on her experience, both personally and professionally, facing spiritual trauma. Stacey also shares her thoughts on how those who have gone through such trials can become effective advocates for change within their faith communities. Links in this episode: APSATS.org DrJakePorter.com StaceySadler.com BeautifulOutlaws.com
50:16
March 10, 2022
HONORING CAROL THE COACH: A CELEBRATION OF SERVICE w/ Dr. Jake Porter
With 175 episodes and more than 200,000 listens, Carol Juergensen Sheets started APSATS' Betrayal Recovery Radio podcast and built it into an established and trusted source of information, comfort, hope, and help to individuals and couples suffering from the effects of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. After three years of service, Carol the Coach is stepping down as the show's host, passing the reins to Dr. Jake Porter. In this episode, Dr. Jake will host a time of celebration honoring Carol the Coach for her dedication to the field of betrayal trauma recovery. Join us for this special time of fun, laughter, and remembrance.
56:54
February 03, 2022
Thinking Outside of the Box with Carol the Coach
No one should do “this” alone..  And with GFY Coaching, is going to describe their mission to ensure you don’t have to. Carol will be interviewing both Gail and Judy who have shifted their vision from establishing and growing our business to what some would call, a grandiose proposition, where we work to reach ALL partners who want and need help overcoming the pain and devastation caused by sexual betrayal. There are so many women out there who desperately need the help, but are unaware of it… and even if they are aware, they either can’t afford the help they need, or they don’t know how or where to find the resources that are available to help them. This leads us to the first element of our Practice’s focus…educating the community around us…stepping out of our APSATS community and into places that have never even heard the term sexual betrayal trauma.. educating, training and shedding light on this topic to anyone end everyone who is willing to listen. Churches, state organizations, community centers, wellness centers etc. time/cost effectiveness ..we can help more people at one time and at a much lower rate.
40:20
December 10, 2021
Find Your Post Traumatic Growth
In today's podcast, Carol the Coach reminds partners that they can get to PTG!
25:53
December 05, 2021
A Couple Finds Their Purpose with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is talking with Mathew and Joanna Raabsmith who work together helping couples and individuals find healing and transformation when sexual betrayal occurs. Today, they will share their own story of healing and restoration from the damage of addiction and betrayal in their marriage. They seek to use their training and experience to empower other couples to find healing and wholeness in their own unique journey.
01:00:00
November 06, 2021
What Can He Do to Understand Your Problem with Carol the Coach
During phase two of APSATS trauma model, the SA, and often times the partner herself may ask “Why can’t I/she get over it” or “why are we stuck and not moving forward”? When working with couples it is essential that the SA learn As much information as he can about betrayal trauma. And part of that information is not only about the timing and the patience that the SA needs to have but also how he needs to have the tools to help his partner move towards forgiveness. The partner never will “get over it” but she can grow from it and use her experience to become an even better version of herself, and eventually the couple can heal as well. But it all starts with safety and stability. Today, Carol the Coach willl be talking to Tiffany Comisky who wants couples to recognize the trauma of partner betrayal.The goal here is to help the partner move into a place in the relationship where she is finally feeling safe enough to feel “connected” with the SA. Much too often the SA wants to move straight into the post traumatic growth stage, especially if he is feeling free from his own pain of addiction and/or isn’t dealing with the shame of it so wants to put it behind him as fast as possible. But it simply doesn’t work that way. The SA needs to understand the damage that has been done to his partner and to their relationship is not an easy fix, but if he has the attitude of “I’m willing to be here for my partner and help her through this trauma for as long as it takes” then there is hope. The biggest challenge is having the stamina to do this.
45:14
October 27, 2021
Is It Possible to Renew Your Sexuality Again with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is interviewing Bonny Burns and her mission is to help couples re-engage in sexual intimacy after sexual addiction. It is easy for couples to feel defeated. Usually couples experience sexuality at different levels, Listen as Bonny gives some tips to restore the trust and communication that a couple needs to build safety.
50:59
October 21, 2021
ERCEM--New Couples Recovery Model with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is announcing her new model that she is teaching clinicians and coaches to Help Them Heal. ERCEM teaches the addict how to help them heal.
20:55
October 15, 2021
The Queen of Trigger Busters with Carol the Coach
One of the greatest casualties to sexual addiction is when a partner has to deal with triggers. Dorit Reichental  has developed a Trigger Busters technique that sex addicts can use with their partners to assist in managing the triggers. Listen as she and Carol the Coach dialogue about how a husband can be the support she needs to quiet the triggers!
59:44
October 09, 2021
The Difference Between Sexual Sobriety and Recovery with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dan and Angie Andrew who want the community to understand the difference between sobriety and true recovery. They believe that the coupleship with thrive when both people do their work and support each other's recovery. They will discuss the tools for recovery  that keep the lines of communication open and promote good self care.
01:00:00
October 03, 2021
Attachment Styles of the Betrayed with Carol the Coach
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing James Annear of Core Relationship Recovery who has researched the attachment styles of betrayed partners and has found extreme wounding that effects deep trust and intimacy. Today, he will be talking about the 4 attachment styles and how they are effected when "heart wounding" occurs.
01:00:27
September 26, 2021
You Deserve to Know the Truth with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dan Drake and Janice Caudill on their new book, Full Disclosure: How To Share The Truth After Sexual Betrayal.  They recognize that doing a full disclosure can be both daunting and difficult, so they will be talking about their step by step approach they have created in their new workbooks. They have participated in hundreds of disclosures and have years of experience and are committed to helping you navigate a complicated yet vital part of healing after sexual betrayal.
01:00:20
September 17, 2021
Does Your Partner Have An Intimacy Disorder with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Marie Kriebs an expert in intimacy disorders, partner betrayal and vulnerability. As an APSATS trained therapist, she believes it is important to educate betrayed partners about healthy intimacy and the importance of personal growth and self awareness. She will be sharing some of the myths about vulnerability and helping our listeners to identify how and when they can be more vulnerable.
59:18
September 09, 2021
Educating the Church About "The P Word"with Carol the Coach
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Catherine Etherington who is a part of the Naked Truth Project about some new programing that is coming out that will help you and the church know how to support addicts, partners and families all over the world! They have set up a P Word Conference to stream critical information to help set up programming to keep our communities safe. This conference will have experts from all over the world who will start the conversation to find hope and strength in the recovery process. And it can start with the church!
26:58
September 02, 2021
Is Sex Addiction a Crime with Carol the Coach
Sex addicts who knowingly have sex with their spouses while having unprotected sex with others are violating their spouses by undermining her self-determination over her body.  When the partner of the SA has no idea she's been "having sex" with her spouse's sex workers, a crime has been committed. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Alex Katehakis, Ph.D, Clinical Director of Center for Healthy Sex, who believes that sex in a relationship where intimate deception is taking place is a non-consensual act and leaves many partners feeling "raped"  having been exposed to multiple sex partners and the potential to contract an STI, some of which can be fatal. Find out why few women get honest enough with themselves about the gravity of this type of gross violation!
56:10
August 26, 2021
Healing Broken Hearts with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Laura Jenkins and Sherri Payne, who have supported the APSATS team to help women who are hurting and alone. They would like to share their story of the betrayal they experienced in their marriages over many years, how Ithey  said “no more”, and overcame their fears to rebuild a life that was shattered. You may have experienced this, or know a woman close to you who struggles in her married relationship. Laura Jenkins says, "Our struggles are held very close and hidden, the pain and isolation leading to additional trauma beyond what our partner’s sexual acting out has dealt us."  Having gone through this and found a certain level of healing, Sherri Payne acknowleges that they have felt a definite call to help women Iand in a place of safety as they navigate through the betrayal. Her not for profit, Unbound and Free is a "pay it forward" program is a ministry that that can help partially pay to help another woman who needs access to coaching and mentoring. Laura Jenkins founded Safe Haven Mentoring to be a resource, to provide a safe, compassionate haven for women to be heard and help them navigate this mindfield of hurts and disillusionment.She acknowledges, 'My first step in rebuilding my life was focusing on myself, and getting educated and as a coach I am here to help you rebuild yours too! Listen as these two mentors explain how they are giving back!
36:47
August 19, 2021
How To Work Through Partner Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Partner betrayal is devestating and you need the skills to get through it. Listen as Carol the Coach gives you tips on how to work through the pain! Today, Joanna Raabsmith is going to be talking about how she empowerw partners as their spouses struggle with sex addiction, infedelity and betrayal. When partners find out about the discovery, they typically feel disempowered and the imbalance can make them feel even more unsafe and insecure. As they become more empowered, they have more control and their personal healing increases.
42:25
August 12, 2021
Why Grief is Vital to Healing
Grief is a step that many many betrayed partners miss in the aftermath of Discovery day. However, it's vital in the healing process. It is in the 2nd phase of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model. It matters. Today, Lyschel Burket is going to talk about why grief is so important to the mind, body and spirit and how to effectively work through it to get to restoration of self.
45:07
August 05, 2021
How Can You Create Your Own Transformative Experience with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach is talking with trauma specialist Dr. Diane Hovey who believes that after the disclosures, the endless questions, river of tears, and tsunami of shame, the pain remains. The journey to uncover the roots of what went wrong fades in and out of the mists of  reality. Some resign. Others encounter a shift in perspective that no longer allows them to continue in the same manner. This is a turning point. A point where possibility is an opening for a new beginning. It is a place of clarity, where one can finally take flight or put down new roots.  It is a place of healing, growth, and possibility. Dr. Hovey asks what is needed to get to this point? The focus  of this talk is on fostering a paradigm shift that allows us to move beyond the never-ending search for answers and the ultimate fix. We will explore the meaning making process and spiritual dimension of healing that contribute to a new way of being. This will include ways to contemplate our own relationship with pain and suffering, on how we store and re-story our experience in a manner that is transformative.
46:39
July 22, 2021
Teaching Empathy Skills Around the World with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach and Dr. Jake Porter will be talking about the Empathy Certification that is teaching Clinicians and Coaches how to encorporate empathy skills in early couples recovery work. ERCEM (Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model), is a premier relational training and certification that navigates professionals how to work through sexual addiction and partner betrayal from the APSATS model using the 3 phase model that works with couples to get them to post-traumatic growth. This is a premier training that has ground-breaking exercises to instill trust and empathy. The 4-day training is  from September 28th thru October 1st, 2021. To register go to APSATS.org and look for the training tab. Working with couples is hard work, but with infidelity and compulsive sexual behavioral disorder, the picture becomes much more complicated and requires extreme knowledge of how to work with couples from a partner sensitive approach and ERCEM will provide strategies that will repair the relationship and build trust back into the coupleship. Register now to be guided by these amazing couples therapists who believe in restoration for the couple and want to show you how to help couples navigate through the devestation of partner betrayal!
45:53
July 16, 2021
How Do You Rebuild Trust with Carol the Coach
When you are betrayed by someone you trust, your whole world is turned upside down.  Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is going to discuss the devastating impact betrayal has on every part of your person and how to survive one day at a time.  She will share how broken trust can make you question your beliefs about your spouse, friends, yourself, your life, and God, and will help you see how you can learn to trust once again.  Dr. Hollenbeck is an APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional and offers Three Day Trauma Healing Intensives in her Orlando, Florida office.  Please visit her website at www.CrystalHollenbeck.com.
45:47
July 15, 2021
A Community for Couples In Recovery with Carol the Coach
Karen and John Rellos will be sharing a community they are building for couples who are recovering from sex addiction and partner betrayal. They recognize the need for couples to have a safe community to "walk beside" other couples on this very bumpy messy road of healing. They want to provide a membership that fosters ongoing support in a safe private community with other couples who have been impacted by sexual betrayal. Listen as they share with Carol the Coach their vision to support couples in recovery.
43:38
July 14, 2021
My Spouse Was Extorted for 50K by a Transgendered Prostitute w/ Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach interviews Michelle whose husband was extorted for 50K and Michelle shares how she is coping and struggling with his choices.
01:00:01
July 01, 2021
A Workshop for Betrayed Wives with Carol the Coach
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing a recovery coach who has created a unique program for  betrayed wives. He explains that after a few years in The Silent Addiction as a sex addiction recovery coach, and also working as a workshp counselor for Be Broken and their Gateway to Freedom Weekend Workships for sex addicts, my heart has been burdened by the brokenness of the betrayed spouse. As a person who actually created a betrayed spouse by my own improprieties of use and an illicit affair I watched how my now ex wife struggled in so many ways while I chased my own needs.  As I coach men in their sexual addiction recovery, I am often engaged with the wives at times.  I see their trauma and pain.  I hear their rage and hopelessness and fear.  I have now gathered my ex-wife and her husband and my wife and we are spearheading this retreat for betrayed wives.  He says, "We will tell our stories, we will have special teaching directed at the women about their value, worth and incomparability.  We will have seasons of worship and meditation and prayers. We will offer some class exercises all in the confines of a small retreat center outside of Orlando FL January 14-16, 2022. " The website is https://www.thesilentaddiction.com/healing-the-soul.html.  They can just visit THESILENTADDICTION.COM and click on the tab for Healing the Soul.
46:31
June 19, 2021
Porn Can Be the Gateway for Illegal Activity with Carol the Coach
People will tell you that "it's only. looking at images." But we know that looking at adult images can take anyone down and today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Joshua Shea who is a recovering ponography addict who made the error of engaging a teenage girl in an online chatroom for which he was arrested and served 6 months in jail. Joshua says that it all started with . He has gotten clean, and has made it his mission to help others with the addiction. Listen as he talks about his struggles to get back up and create purpose in his life.
01:00:01
June 17, 2021
How Are Children and Families Affected by Sex Addiction with Carol the Coach
Repeat of APSATS vice-president Jessica Eidens whose specialty is to assist partners in how to handle the complexities of Sex Addiction in the family.
59:45
June 10, 2021
Validation is So Important in Empathy Building with Carol the Coach
Validation is so important to creating intimacy and connection. Often the validation piece is the hardest part for people to “get”. This process helps learners understand how and why it is so important and just how to do it. The step by step process walks them through it easily. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing APSATS therapist, Stacey Sadler hascreated the Victory Through Validation program. It consists of a FREE 8-day e-course in the form of 8 daily emails taking one letter of the word VALIDATE each day and explaining it. Each day has questions in a pdf formate for the participant  to download and take the deep dive into the real work. She has also produced a 90 minute webinar that shows me working through the Victory Through Validation process with a sex addict/partner in recovery. Each runs through a situation that they would like their spouse to validate them in. She  breaks in with teaching moments throughout. She also offers a group  coaching zoom call for 4 couples at a time teaching them the process.
45:47
June 03, 2021
Becoming Whole: Healing from Emotional Abuse with Carol the Coach
Emotional abuse can have devestating affects on partners. They are so vulnerable and their self esteem is already fragile from betrayal and then they experience the emotional abuse and they question theirselves and their reality.  Raquel Custer is currently a Bloom for Women betrayal trauma coach at Addo Recovery. She is a certified life coach specializing in betrayal trauma, mindfulness practices, and family life. She is trained through APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists and has her own private practice, The Healer's Art, LLC. Mindfulness, meditation and body work have all been integral parts of her healing and she incorporates them into her work as a coach. Raquel has spent the last three years learning MBSR, mindfulness based stress reduction and will give us a brief introduction to the benefits of mindfulness meditation and self compassion as tools for healing trauma from betrayal. She believes that it is self compassion that helps you heal from emotional abuse.
43:57
May 27, 2021
Does Your Husband Exhibit Narcissistic Traits with Carol the Coach
Riana Milne knows that 9 out of 10 women struggle in life and love. Partner betrayal results in such a trauma wounding that leaves you wondering if you will ever be able to trust him again. And if he continues to be self-absorbed and self-interested leabing empathy behind you may want to assess for narcissistic personality disorder. Today Riana discusses that disorder and helps you to know where you need to go next. She is going to help you learn the signs.
45:51
May 20, 2021
A Male Partner's Experience with Carol the Coach
Male partners seem to face a special circumstance in their betrayal because there are less resources available and the fight an extra layer of shame because it effects their masculinity. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Gary Ownes who is a male spouse of a female sex addict. He has written a book to help other men who find themsellves in the battle of their lives. Gary shares his recovery story and his transformation back into his self esteem and masulinity.He wrote Betrayed Husbands Survival Guide and offers it as an e-book.
54:15
May 13, 2021
What Is Dissociative Identity Disorder with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Rebecca Ray wh wants to talk about the dissociative process that can affect partners due to on-going stress, abuse, and psychological terror. This disorder causes disruptions or breakdowns in memory, awareness, identity and or perception and she wants are listeners to know that they CAN live normal lives when they manage the symptoms and the triggers!
47:06
April 29, 2021
Learn How to Grow Stronger with Carol the Coach
If you want to learn from the Master....we have an expert on post traumatic growth on the show to help you with betrayal and other forms of trauma. Today Carol the Coach is interviewing Dr. Dayton who has been a guest expert on NBC, CNN, MSNBC, Montel, Rikki Lake, John Walsh, and Geraldo. She is the author of 15 books including Neuropsychodrama in the Treatment of Relational Trauma, The ACoA Trauma Syndrome: How Childhood Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships, Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance, Trauma and Addiction: Ending the Cycle of Pain Through Emotional Literacy, Heartwounds: The Impact of Unresolved Trauma and Grief on Relationships, Forgiving and Moving On, The Living Stage: A Step by Step Guide to Psychodrama and Experiential Therapy, and The Magic of Forgiveness. You can also read blog posts by Dr. Dayton on The Huffington Post and Thrive Global. Her films and videos include The Process (a 73-minute award-winning docudrama that uses psychodrama to tell stories of addicts), Adult Children of Alcoholics, Trauma, and The Body: A Psychodramatic Approach and Healing Childhood Abuse through Psychodrama. She is going to talk about ways for partners to find their strength and live their best life!
55:15
April 22, 2021
A Sex Adddicts Journey to Teach Men How to Rebuild the Relationship with CTC
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Matthew, who will be sharing about his work helping men who have committed betrayal and/or who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior restore their lives and relationships. He and his wife Joanna, have been working in the field of betrayal/addiction recovery for over 5 years helping couples rebuild what was lost. He explains to Carol the Coach that his particular focus of this effort has been in coaching men to reclaim their authentic, healthy self in order to constantly show up as safe and loving to the people who have been wounded by their behaviors. His  research and experience has taught him that in order for this to happen there is vital work for the betrayer to restore identity and safety for himself/herself. This work of restoration includes forgiveness of others, practicing self compassion, emotional regulation, mindfulness, and empathetic growth. He has seen men transform from dangerously destructive for their partners to radically supportive, patient, and safe toward those that they victimized. Every man who reaches out  wants to get it right. They want to love and be loved well. They want to clear the wreckage of their past. They want their partners to feel safe and secure. He will be explaining that he gets the privilege of helping them learn the tools they need to go from wish to reality.
53:04
April 15, 2021
Complex Trauma and the Aftermath with Carol the Coach
Betrayal trauma creates a pain that has been described as worse than the death of a loved one. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Amanda Elliott Asproni who wants to help betrayed partners work through the trauma. Clients who come into counseling with betrayal trauma alongside untreated complex trauma/PTSD struggle with the healing process in nuanced ways compared to betrayal trauma alone. She will be explaining the differences for clients who present with both complex and betrayal trauma?  And she will be sharing how their recovery journey compares with clients who suffer from betrayal trauma?
48:12
April 08, 2021
The Pandamic Has Changed Everything or Has It ... with Carol the Coach
During the last year, all of our lives have changed drastically. While we now have more access to therapy and recovery groups than ever thanks to online platforms and Telehealth, we are also facing isolation and stressors that can severely derail or escalate addiction and trauma. Recovery in a post pandemic world takes new levels of commitment, but can also deepen our growth more than ever. Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Faith Niece who works with partners and families to navigate through the trauma of sex addiction partner betrayal while in a pandemic.
40:27
April 01, 2021
A Relationship Restoration Program for Couples with Carol the Coach
There are many types of residential,  intensive and individual programs designed to help the addict, but today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Timothy Lee, who founded  the New York Pathways Relationship Restoration Program. We are featuring this program  because it works from a partner sensitive approach in that it includes loooking at partner trauma. Timothy describes treating both the addict and the betrayed partner and working to restore the relationship. He defines the addicts program as the following: we work from the addiction treatment model, which focuses on abstinence, psychotherapy, peer support and 12-step recovery. For our partners, we are mainly using a trauma model of treatment, helping the partner establish safety self-care and setting boundaries. We also work with the conjoint therapy model. The model focuses on various tasks to be completed to maintain good individual and relational recovery.He does this by meeting with his therapist along with his partner and her therapist. Listen as he talks about why he believes this to be such an important treatment program for couples!
46:12
March 25, 2021
Tools To Help You Heal from Partner Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Today Carol the Coach is interviewing Jenni Rochelle who has created a coaching program for women healing from betrayal trauma.  It’s a six-month, private coaching program for women who are in the later stages of healing and are ready to reclaim and rediscover themselves.   The website is www.jennirochelle.com/beautyafterbetrayal
44:30
March 18, 2021
Understanding The Recovery of Partner Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Carol's guest was unable to appear so she talked about her new book "Unleashing Your Power" and how that book can move you through the 3 stages of partner betrayal. As you listen to the show, ask yourself what you can do to detach from the pain and grow from the inner strength that you have inside.
37:51
March 11, 2021
Helping the Sex Addict Develop A Healthy Sex Plan with Carol the Coach
Returning to a healthy sexual relationship is complex and often times partners want to know that their spouse will not be triggered by resuming  a sexual relationship. Partners do not want to be compared to unhealthy sexual images or experiences and wish they could "know" what their  husband is thinking while they are being intimate. Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Alex Katehakis, who has written a workbook for sex addicts  to help them develop a sexual health plan that emphasizes the many dimensions of healthy sexuality. Listen, as they talk about the sensitive subject of sexual reintegration.
49:43
March 04, 2021
Can Brain Spotting Heal the Brain with Carol the Coach
Lots of professionals are finding brainspotting an efffective technique to process trauma. Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Julie StOnges who took the training and has found it is absolutely the quickest way to help children and people who have ADHD. She also believes it can help with partner betrayal. She has been tracking clients progress and their emotional states and have found measurable differences . She saw amazing patterns of processing, pain, relief, joy and even God spots. They call God spots a space where God shows up and speaks love and acceptance.  She describes "Brain Spotting" as an experience which uses your upset memories or thoughts along with stressful body sensations to isolate spaces in your brain and mind where trauma or stress has not assimilated into your story. Facial reflexes and breathing patterns indicate how processing is going and what stage you are in. Most clients say it is the last time they ever feel the pain to that extent. Listen as Julie, shares this exciting process for trauma.
47:07
February 25, 2021
Experiential Therapy Can Unlock Doors to Healing with Carol the Coach
There are many great forms of therapy out there today to help partners and sex addicts process betrayal, trauma, recovery, and other important issues for healing.Today, Mike Vaugn shares with partners, a powerful type of therapy that can connect addicts to the pain that may have contributed to their addiction and deceit.  One of the more powerful types of therapy is called experiential therapy. We all know that the joys and sorrows in life impact not only our minds, but also our bodies. With that said, experiential therapy helps clients process fully because it engages our whole body. It is often said that just as wounds happen through experience, healing happens through experience as well. Experiential therapy is designed to help healing through techniques that engage the whole person.
47:51
February 18, 2021
How Can You Heal Wounded Marriages
Sex Addiction can fatally wound a marriage relationhsip.  Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is an APSATS therapist and helps marriages move from a place of woundedness to a place of healing.  She conducts Three Day Marriage Intensives for couples who have a consistent recovery path with Sex Addiction Recovery and Betrayal Trauma Recovery, and are ready to move from a place of woundedness to a place of healing in their relationship.  She wants partners to know there is hope for building and maintaining a strong, fun, loving, intimate, healthy marriage that includes a healthy and fulfilling sex life.   Visit her website at www.CrystalHollenbeck.com.  She has offices in Orlando and Tampa Florida.  You can call her at 407.408.6521 or email her at Crystal@CrystalHollenbeck.com
49:24
February 11, 2021
Has Your Chilhood Trauma Interfered with Your Relationship?
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Riana Milne who is a relationship expert and personal life coach who has studied relationhip trauma and she wants to go over the 10 adverse childhood events that sabotages relationships. Many partners have had childhood trauma and would like to understand what they have experienced and what they need to do to cope with it. She also wants to offer some free gifts to our listeners who want to understand their self and the relationship.
56:35
February 04, 2021
What if Recovery Isn't Working with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing a couple about Sexual Addiction and Partner Betrayal and how to get clarity when it doesn't feel like recovery is working. Listen to their story and what they have tried to get healthy.
54:38
January 28, 2021
A Partners Story with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing a partner who wants to share her story of betrayal and how she found meaning from it.
48:51
January 21, 2021
Finding Serenity through Creativity with Carol the Coach
Peggy Matheson has created a coloring book that will bring about serenity. She drew a few sketches when she was a young woman, but had such a love for the performing arts that drawing quickly fell by the way side. Earning a BFA in Music Dance Theater from Brigham Young University was a jumping off point that punctuated years of performances on stage and on screen. Her tenacity to create the most impact with a performance has informed her ability to create poetry and drawings that not only resonate but also delight. After college, a parallel path was forming as her desire for freedom from pain drove her to do deep emotional healing work. She eventually found a modality that transformed her life and subsequently became a Certified Journey Practitioner helping others heal their pain through restorative guided meditation.Above all Peggy is a believer. She is a believer in the power to become our best selves and that life and relationships have meaning and purpose. For years, she felt her mission was her successful marriage. When it ended abruptly, she began to put the pieces together and discovered she’d been living in an emotionally abusive relationship. Now she’s an APSATS trained Partner Coach (CPC-c) and trained Family Life Coach (BCC-c) working with those seeking to transform themselves beyond their doubts, negative beliefs, trauma and especially betrayal trauma. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Peggy on how she found a way to bring grounding and resourcing to women.   Peggy facilitates creativity workshops using guided meditation, movement, and music as well as supporting individuals on their healing journey.
56:27
January 07, 2021
The Complexity within an Asian-Interracial Coupleship with Carol the Coach
The importance of sex in human relationships, especially with our spouse, is well known to us as a vital element in developing and maintaining a healthy marriage and relationship. Thus, the betrayal from a loved one, related sexual affairs, brings traumatic experiences for many. It would not surprise to say that the relationship between sexual compatibility and marital satisfaction is a universal experience for many couples. However, the impacts of culture in navigating sex in a relationship bring unique challenges in Asian-interracial relationship. US society has a long history of stereotypes toward Asian women. A mail-order bride is one of the good examples. The description of "exotic" and "submissive" Asian women intensifies non-Asian men's unrealistic expectations toward Asian women. The adult/sex industry's spreading influence that commercializes Asian women's sexuality adds to the modern era's complexity. On the contrary, in Eastern cultures, women's sexuality, especially the value of virginity, has been highly valued, not only to an individual but also to the family legacy. Therefore, Western culture's rapid influence that promoting autonomy and individual happiness brings unique challenges to many young Asian women when married after having a sexual relationship with others before their marriage. The terms of Narita Divorce in Japan and Honeymoon Divorce in Korea are good. Thus, Asian women married outside of their ethnic group in the US face multiple challenges to navigate without many resources.   Tonight, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Chun-Shin Taylor, an expert in partner betrayal, who wants to educate us on the nuances and the complexities of working with Asian-Interacial coupleships.
39:56
December 23, 2020
Restoration in the Coupleship with Carol the Coach
Helping couples heal is an APSATS misssion. Today, Carol the Coach interviews Clinton and Charity Munoz, who  knows how difficult it is to restore the relationship after sexual addiction recovery has been initiated. want to talk about how important individual help is to get first, what their roles are in the restoration process. They believe in the process of rebuilding intimacy and trust after infidelity. Once a couple is getting traction in the healing process, they want to help them understand how they can have a thriving marriage even after infidelity. In the beginning, there are a lot of questions in understanding the role the wife now plays to the husband, aka not an accountability partner, and understanding the role the husband now plays to the wife, aka make her feel safe again. Today, they will share the process of how couples can create a thriving mariage.
51:41
December 17, 2020
Is Your Relationship Toxic with Carol the Coach
Listen as Carol interviews Liza Young on Toxicity. Liza is a therapist with over 15 years of experience in helping  people overcome life's most difficult situations. Liza has developed an online video course called Toxic Free Relationship. This course is designed to help you identify if your relationship is toxic, and what to do about it. She provides videos worksheets, and resources to help guide you to hope and healng.You can find out more about this course at www.lizayoungcounseling.com. You can hear her on her own podcast which is Therapy Extended with Liza Young.
46:56
December 12, 2020
Helping Couples Move Beyond Partner Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Replay of Carol the Coach talking with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck talking about helpping couples heal.
48:16
November 19, 2020
Seeking Christian Resources for Partner Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Debby Flanagan who has more than 25 years of ministry experience helping women find healing from sexual and love addiction and trauma. As a survivor, she has a special connection with women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse. Debby works closely with women in recognizing areas of codependency and developing healthy boundaries.Debby is passionate about helping women discover their true identity in our Lord and the joy they experience when they find lifelong healing from shame and trauma.She works for Pure Desire and helps women access recovery tools that will reinforce their relationship with God.
56:38
November 12, 2020
What is Gaslighting with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach interviews expert Sarah Morales who is  an expert and teaches courses on "gaslighting." Gaslighting can happen when an addict purposefully denies reality and projects that that there is something wrong with you for believing that there is something wrong wiith him. It can leave you feeling shaky and confused and it can make you doubt yourself. Listen as Sarah shares strategies for rebuking "gaslighting attempts."
51:41
November 05, 2020
Communication is the Key to Connection with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Lyschel Burket who is a certified professional coach who would love to spend some time unpacking a common tool used by couples as they step into the space of healing and rebuilding. The tool is commonly used as a check in tool. Which means they use this tool as guardrails to their time in order to create connection, communication and safety with one another. Many call this tool FANOS - which stands for Feelings, Affirmations, Needs, Ownership and Sobriety/Self Care.  I believe this tool was originally offered by Debra & Mark Laaser with Faithful & True Ministries. It has also been sighted in Stephanie Carnes newest book Courageous Love, A Couples Guide to Conquering Betrayal.
53:22
October 29, 2020
Why A Therapeutic Separation May Be the Next Right Step with Carol the Coach
Repeat of the therapeutic separation show.
56:18
October 23, 2020
A Listener Has Lots of Questions about How to Stay Safe with Carol the Coach
Partners have lots of questions as to what they can do to seek safety.  Listen, as Carol the Coach and Hope talk about ways to rebuild  trust when she still doesn't feel safe. We talked about tools to create more safety in her relationship.
55:13
October 12, 2020
The Essentials for Relationship Repair with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Dr. Merry Frons who has specialized in treating couples with relationship and sexuality issues for over 30 years. She has very specific philosophies as to how to treat the partner individually and in couples therapy. She has written a step by step  protocol that helps the couple through the healing journey together. Her book, The Trust Solution was written because she believes that restoring trust is the basis of repairing the relationship. Listen as she shares what she believes are the essentials when treating sexual addiction and couples who have experienced partner betrayal.
56:14
October 08, 2020
A Couple Shares Their Recovery with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing a couple who went through sexual addiction and partner betrayal.. It resulted in a lot of hard work and research on partner betrayal.. Cat suffered from PTSD and needed to learn how to manage the triggers. She also began to write to help partners understand what was happening to them. Together she and Frank have commited to helping  couples through difficult times. Cat has a series of 4 books that take you through that jouney.
51:01
October 01, 2020
Should I Stay or Should I Go with Carol the Coach
Discovering your husband has broken his wedding vows by betraying you emotionally, sexually and financially, is extremely traumatic.  Having to make a decision to stay married or get divorced is one of the most difficult and pressing decisions every partner struggles with.  The incredible sense of fear and confusion facing this decision can be debilitating.  Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is going to discuss the struggle partners have with this painful decision and offer guidance on how and when to make the decision to stay in or leave your marriage. Listen as Carol the Coach and Dr. Crystal help you to feel safe!
55:59
September 24, 2020
Leading Men Into Recovery with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is interviewing Mark Denison who has produced resources to help sex addicts find lasting freedom and recovery. As a man in recovery, (he still attends two 12-step meetings each week), he knows the importance of a specific plan for recovery. He will be talking about his two primary resources: 90-Day Recovery process and new Freedom Groups. The 90-Day Plan utilizes his 90-Day workbook, daily readings, daily written exercises, and weekly calls. Next week (September 21),  he launches five new Freedom Groups, based on his new 400-page workbook, Life Recovery Plan. The purpose of this workbook and the groups is to help men’s recovery stick. Many of his wife, Beth’s clients are the wives of the men with whom he works. Mark will show men how to take their recovery to the next level with his recovery tools.
55:03
September 17, 2020
Are You An Adult Child of an Sex Addict with Carol the Coach
Are you an adult child of a sex addict? Do you feel confusion, fear and avoidance in your own relationships? Or do you feel best when you are intimately involved with someone? Adult children of sex addicts often are the forgotten population when we talk about sex addiction; but their experiences are a valid and rich contribution to the treatment of sex addiction and prevention of the generational addiction cycle. Adult children of sex addicts often suffer from maladaptive attachment patterns themselves having not experienced a healthy template, they feel lost and confused in relationships or desperate and anxious without relationships. Jessica will touch on the importance of taking time to process thoughts and feelings related to growing up in a family where sex addiction was present, why feeling anger is helpful and some helpful tools on how to move forward and stop the generational cycle.
55:14
September 10, 2020
Grounding and Educational Resources for Betrayed Partners with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Jill Manning who is excited to announce the launch of a digital download store that offers therapeutic handouts and worksheets specifically designed for betrayed partners. Well-designed and trauma-informed, these resources are easy to integrate into clinical or coaching work, including group therapy.
50:42
September 03, 2020
Principles to Recovery for Partners with Carol the Coach
Partners need a guide to heal and today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Beth Denison who is passionate about helping women find hope and healing after sexual betrayal. She developed materials that combine scriptural insight and sound psychoeducational information with a trauma sensitive model to guide women through a path of recovery. This was published in her new workbook called 12-Week Partner Recovery Guide: Journey to Healing from Sexual Betrayal. She coaches partners both one-on-one and in groups as she leads them through the workbook.
48:20
August 27, 2020
Boundaries Require Consequences with Carol the Coach
One of the toughest reactions and responses to partner betrayal is figuring out what boundaries you might need to feel safe. Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Boundaries Expert Aarti Chidambaram. Aarti believes that  boundaries are only words if there are not strong consequences. She will be discussing "Boundary Challenges" that partners face.She will be discussing "Layered Consequences and how this empowers partners to hold a space for what a partner will accept in her relationship. Aarti wants partners to have her empowerment tool ICE-R as it supports healthy boundaries.
57:20
August 20, 2020
Undestanding Sexual Addiction with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach interviews Brian Martin who works with partners to show them how to assess whether the addict is working on his recovery in an efficient way. He will also be talking about how to recognize shame in an addict and how to interface with shame and anger appropriately.
57:06
August 13, 2020
Coaching Can Take your Life to the Next Level with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach wants you have tools that cof the self.  It will help you with your healing and it will help you in your restoration so that you can move towards  more restoration You  will want to  listen as Jen Coles shares tools and tips to be your best person. There are many great tools and exercises available to partners of sex addicts as they go through their healing journey.  Jennifer’s signature approach to coaching is called ACE.  “Awareness creates Choice which then Empowers”.  To that end, her staple tools include the Personal Chaos Index, Values Assessment, and The Wheel of Life.  We will introduce to these tools and how they’re used during our conversation today.
54:29
August 06, 2020
You Are Not Crazy, You Are Being "Gaslit" with Carol the Coach
Repeat of the 2018  show with APSATS Gaslighting expert Sarah Morales who help you figure out if you are being manipulated.
57:05
July 30, 2020
Survival Tools for Mom's During Covid 19 with Carol the Coach
We are living through unprecedented times right now. Motherhood alone is challenging and difficult, but with the added stressors in today’s world AND experiencing betrayal trauma it can feel like you are drowning every day. Today’s segment will talk about the survival mechanisms moms can be forced into and hopefully bring some normalization and sanity around being a good enough parent in today’s landscape. How to give yourself a break while still being the best parent you can be and utilize concrete skills to show up for yourself and your kids.
55:41
July 23, 2020
Self Worth Means Honoring Yourself with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach will be  interviewing Coach Julie StOnge who wants to help partners to know that they worthy no matter what has happened to them. Julie explains, "My relationship with me was never that good. I have come to realize with partners that aside from cultural binds that may hold them in fear of change, there is a break down with their own relationships with self. I work on this simultaneously with partners. The three areas of focus for every partner are goals you can control, self worth, and data collection." Self worth means talking nice to yourself, seeing your history and knowing you are trustworthy, respecting your time and feelings, knowing you have innate worth, and believing in your potential. Negative self talk starts at a very young age. Negative film also runs early in life. The pattern can be broken with a dialectical approach of mindfulness training, embracing change, and embracing acceptance. Having the right resources can help you to change your life!
57:08
July 16, 2020
Can You Teach a Sex Addict to Use Their Intuition with Carol the Coach
We all know that Sex Addicts often times fear that they don't possess the intuition to know how to be sensitive to others. Josh Nichols believes it might be just the oposite. In this interview Carol the Coach and Joshua Nichols will be discussing a recent article he wrote entitled “Managing Your Superpower: What Mister Rogers Has in Common with Sex Addicts.”  This is part 2 of a 2 part series. In essence, Josh believes that Fred Rogers, commonly known as Mister Rogers, and many sex addicts have something very unique in common – they are empaths. Empaths have what seems like a natural ability to feel and experience the emotional energy around them.  Whereas Fred Rogers seemed to understand and harness this energy, sex addicts are often overwhelmed by it.  Mister Rogers somehow figured out how to manage this superpower and use it productively in his life.  For sex addicts, these intense feelings have become unmanageable; hence the reason for using sex and sexuality as means for coping. Partners want their spouses to develop the skills to be more sensitive and Josh is going to share what he does to help these menget in touch with a skill they may already possess. Join us for an interesting dialogue about empathy!
52:53
July 09, 2020
Are Sex Addicts Really Empaths with Carol the Coach
We all know that Sex Addicts often times lack empathy. Well Josh Nichols believes it might be just the oposite. In this interview Carol the Coach and Joshua Nichols will be discussing a recent article he wrote entitled “Managing Your Superpower: What Mister Rogers Has in Common with Sex Addicts.”  This is part 1 of a 2 part series. In essence, Josh believes that Fred Rogers, commonly known as Mister Rogers, and many sex addicts have something very unique in common – they are empaths. Empaths have what seems like a natural ability to feel and experience the emotional energy around them.  Whereas Fred Rogers seemed to understand and harness this energy, sex addicts are often overwhelmed by it.  Mister Rogers somehow figured out how to manage this superpower and use it productively in his life.  For sex addicts, these intense feelings have become unmanageable; hence the reason for using sex and sexuality as means for coping. Join us for an interesting dialogue about empathy!
51:47
July 02, 2020
EMDR Can Address Your Trauma with Carol the Coach
EMDR is an effective trauma treatment for partner betrayal. Find out how it can help you!
54:25
June 25, 2020
Stabalizing Your "Financial House" with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Ericka Young who is a Financial Coach and wrote the book, Naked and Unashamed 10 Money Conversations Every Couple Must Have. She gives solid advice for couples who want to transform the way they deal with and manage their money.
51:29
June 18, 2020
What Do I look for in a Good Polygrapher with Carol the Coach
Repeat show about how to find the right polygraph examiner.
01:00:19
June 04, 2020
"Who Am I Beyond Trauma?" with Carol the Coach
Following the 3rd phase of the APSATS MPTM Model requires that you see your self as a survivor and a thriver. Carol the Coach is interviewing Gaelyn Rae Emerson who has created a rare and exciting new project for partners of sex addicts. Focused and fueled toward post-traumatic growth, Rediscovering Me is an “out of the box” kind of partners support group—one that’s perfect for women who are wondering “what’s next” on the journey of healing from sexual betrayal. Rediscovering Me is a refreshing opportunity for women who are sick and tired of resources that revolve around sex addiction, an endeavor that begins by asking the question, “Who Am I Beyond My Trauma?” Gaelyn is here today with two of her colleagues, Jacki Elsom and Esther Elmer. The three of them are eager to introduce this project to our Betrayal Trauma Radio listeners!
53:40
May 28, 2020
Race and Recovery with Carol the Coach
Coach Andrea has noticed that woman of color have specific challenges as partners in recovery and she wanted to talk about why the African American community may have different needs or expectations around problematic sexual behavior. She  and Carol the Coach will be talking about the need for research around her hypothesis.
54:44
May 21, 2020
The Partner Sensitive Approach to Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewed by Caroline Brown who wanted to learn more about partner betrayal from a partner perspective. She offered to interview Carol to help listeners know what they should look for when seeking help the "APSATS Way."
53:26
May 14, 2020
Partner Betrayal in the Church with Carol the Coach
Frequently churches are the first responders to help couples facing infidelity and sex addiction. Often times they are ill equipped to know how to handle it from a partner sensitive approach. Hence, they do more damage to the partner and contribute to her pain. Listen as Marie Celano talks about how she is educating the church leaders to provide services to partners from a trauma perspective. This will be an inspiring conversation that may motivate you to set up services in your community.
55:09
May 07, 2020
Help Her Heal Groups for Addicts and Couples with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is interviewing Rebecca Maestas who is going to start two Help Her Heal groups for 14 weeks that will also includes a couple's component to teach the couple how to do the work to help her heal. This is a first for sex addicts and their partners and so we are excited to be finding out about this innovative program.
43:55
April 23, 2020
Good Recovery Requires a Committee with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Richard Butler who professes that he had to use a variety of tools and experiences to solidify his recovery. His recovery activities have included: Intensives, Couples Retreats, Counselling, Coaching, 12 Step Programs, and Mindfulness Tools. Listen as he shares his inspiring story of recovery, redemption and giving back!
54:14
April 16, 2020
Betrayal Groups within the Church Can Be Safe with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Shann Davis who leads a confidential women’s ministry group at Lakepointe Church in Rockwall, Texas called Sisters on a Journey for women who have been betrayed by their spouse’s sexual sin (affairs, both physical or emotional.)  Her goal  is to help empower the women through Jesus Christ and find their identity in Him.  Most women enter the class traumatized so they spend the first several weeks learning various tools for stabilization and self-care.  The group discovers through scripture who God says they are which helps begin to dispel the lies that partners come to believe as a result of the spouse’s deception and gaslighting.  By finding their identity in Christ, they give up the victim role and embrace the strength and power believers have in Christ.  They work on understanding they cannot fix anyone else and talk about boundaries and what those look like.  A turning point for the women is when they share their personal story and are affirmed by the others in the group.
52:01
April 09, 2020
How tto Navigate Through Marriage with Carol the Coach
Where I think I can serve your audience is talking about connection and attachment and why coming out and volunteering for Sidewalk Talk and getting more active connection can be part of recovery.     Carol the Coach is going to interview marital therapist Traci Ruble who will be sharinf what she has learned about connection from listening to her clients. She will be talking specifically about her work with couples. She does alot of pre-emptive work talking about sex and arousal as part of building a relationship vision.  She continues to be amazed how few folks talk about their expectations for marriage or prior to launching in and find prevention can be really great medicine by getting clear on expectations.  Fun fact: She and her husband got so clear on expectations that they made a list of everything they hated about each other and shared it with one another before they got married so they could agree they were not signing up for a fixer-upper but an "I see you and know what I am getting myself into" marriage.
50:33
April 02, 2020
How Can I Take Care of Myself with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Richa Badami who is a master at making partners feel safe after their truama responses and triggers. In her book “Coming Home to the Heart – Transforming Trauma into Infinite Possibilities for Healing” Richa shares her story of sexual abuse as a child growing up in India, and her powerful journey of recovery from it. Years later, as a recovered partner herself, she brings all of her personal experience, training and intimate knowledge, to help support and empower her clients, guiding them on a path of restoration after betrayal recovery.
55:40
March 26, 2020
How Can We Stop Cultural Gaslighting with Carol the Coach
The Super Bowl half time show is cultural gas-lighting. Dolly Parton posing for Playboy at 75 and everyone applauding her because "she's still got it" is cultural gaslighting. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Lyschel Burket who will explain the ramifications of this phenomena.Cultural Gaslighting is the psychological manipulation in which our culture sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual, situation, event, or moral thought. It makes the culture question their own memory, perception, or judgement, often times evoking a cognitive dissonance and other changes in personal value and worth such as low self esteem and self hate.Let's talk about what we can do to deal with this manipulation.
59:02
March 19, 2020
How and When Do You Forgive with Carol the Coach
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Sara Schulting-Kranz who recently did a ted talk on forgiveness as a partner of betrayal. She is currently writing a book on forgiveness and has lots of experience guiding clients on their own healing journey outside of fours walls. She believes that nature and clarity help the process of forgiveness. Listen as she shares her story and the keys to finding forgiveness.
56:14
March 12, 2020
Support As You Move Into Divorce or Seperation with Carol the Coach
Join Carol the Coach who will be finding out more about Coach Andrea’s support group through Fully Alive Coaching Divorcefor divorced and separated partners. Going through partner betrayal is tough but combining it with a separation or divorce requires lots of support from others. Listen as Carol finds out about a support group that will help partners get through this and grow!
52:08
March 05, 2020
Community is the Antidote to Porn Addiction with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach knows that partners often get frustrated when their husbands attend so many meetings that they feel like a Recovery Widow. Today's guest, Carl Thomas wants to speak on the importance of "community" when it comes to finding freedom from things like compulsive internet behaviors and sex addiction. He has created a Live Free Community App and Small Groups Online to help men that may not have a face to face group to go to to get the support they deserve.
53:47
February 27, 2020
Partners Share This Show w/ Your Spouse to Disrupt Fantasies w/ Carol the Coach
Women can endlessly worry about what their husbands are thinking when they see a provocative woman or image. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Drew Boa who wants to help Christian men stop using by helping them to learn how to interrupt their sexual fantasies. Listen as he explains how he got help and what he advises  men to do to interrupt the arousal template that is driven by fantasy.
57:46
February 20, 2020
Group Coaching Programs Add Value with Carol the Coach
Nothing beats the power of Sisterhood. According to Brené Brown, “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Sarah Morales and Jenni Rochelle who will be providing a group coaching proram for partners to heal.  The coaches explain "The reason why Sisterhood is such a super healing power is that it offers women the opportunity to show up and be seen, heard and witnessed by other women who know exactly how you feel." Sisterhood offers you all the other elements that are so essential to your healing - safety, self-regulation, support, story, spirituality and strategy.  You can literally get all of that from Sisterhood and one of the best ways to get the Sisterhood that you need is through a group coaching program just for women who have been through what you’ve been through.
47:35
February 13, 2020
Partner Betrayal Can Rock Your Faith with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Judee Alvarado and Julie StOnge, about the faith conference that represents a collaboration of organizations coming together to support women who have experienced betrayal and abuse in their intimate relationships. Partners, counselors, coaches, and those in ministry are encouraged to come. All are APSATS trained in the The Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model.  One of the main issues addressed will be the deconstruction and reconstruction of faith. Faith can be broken down due to incorrect clergy advice and handlings, unanswered prayers, the acting out partner unwilling to enter sobriety and recovery, an incorrect victim theology, and years lost with a person mishandling emotions and staying in addiction. Barbara Steffens, Laurie Hall, Catherine Etherington, Lyschel Burket, Kristin Carey and Karen Rellos will address how faith can be rebuilt and we can find our true selves again. There will be a powerful time of reflection, prayer, and connection led by Barbara Steffens at the end.
57:06
February 06, 2020
How to Prioritize Your Life with Carol the Coach
Slavery to work, distractions, people and emotions block us from feeling like a priority in our relationships and this affects how we experience sexuality and intimacy.  For betrayed partners these distractions become triggers that eat away at the trust the couple is trying to repair. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing co-author of Help. Her. Heal. Allan J. Katz, who has written a new book, Hey! What About Me? which is a book about  how to make oneself and others a priority. For partners to heal, they need to know how to temper out of control emotions and how to begin to trust and protect themselves.  Instead of spending all their time working they need to balance that with play and not remain a human doing, rather a human being. When emotions shut them down, they need to know how to deal with resentments, shame, guilt, fear and eventual forgiveness. He tells sex addicts that in order to become a priority in your partner’s eyes you both have to work on replacing character defects with healthy character traits.  This is the spiritual journey about faith, love vs. indifference, generosity vs. deprivation, diligence vs. laziness and the difference between sobriety and serenity. A partner has to learn how to trust other people again because after trauma this is difficult.  But, also being able to trust oneself is equally important.
54:56
January 30, 2020
How Is a Polygraph Exam Helpful with Carol the Coach
Every traumatized partner asks the question, "Will I ever be able to trust my addict spouse again?" and every person struggling with sex addiction comes to the realization that dishonesty and a lack of accountability have been a way of life for way too long. Today Carol the Coach, will be interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is going to discuss the use of a lie detector exam in the recovery process. She will inform us how the exam can provide benefit for both the addict and the partner and she would know because she uses them individually, and in her highly sought after 3 day intensives.
01:00:01
January 23, 2020
Surviving SexualAddiction and Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jenni Rochelle who has written a guidebook on how to survive the trauma of sexual betrayal. It is free and can be found at www.sexaddictionguidebook.com. She will be sharing 6 essential elements for getting through the process of partner betrayal. .Jenni has a heart for partners and she is currently working on a Masters in Spiritual Formation and so she will also be speaking about spiritual truama and how partners need to find support in their faith community so caregivers need  to find assistance in making that a smooth process for the partner.
50:04
January 16, 2020
Divorce Can Feel Devastating with Carol the Coach
Sexual Betrayal sends you on a journey that can feel like despair and when it results in divorce, it can leave you feeling totally overwhelmed, Listen as Carol the Coach talks to Kim Petroni who went through that experience and vowed to help women get through the proceses easier.She has practical tools and tips that she believes will make your journey easier!
58:56
January 09, 2020
A Partners Journey with Carol the Coach
Repeat of APSATS President Laurie Hall talking about having read the first book on Partner Betrayal
48:41
January 03, 2020
Repeat of How Therapeutic Seperations Can Be Helpful to the Marriage with Carol
What is a therapeutic seperation and how can it be helpful to the marriage.
56:18
December 26, 2019
How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex with Carol the Coach
Healthy sexuality is a topic that many families have been silent on, while culture is shouting at a louder volume than ever. As parents, you have the opportunity to provide a healthier pathway for good education. Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Tracy and Rodney Wright who wrote a book, How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex. This book focuses on 10 Principles to help parents learn to create healthy family cultures to connect and communicate with their kids.
57:02
December 19, 2019
Neurofeedback Helps Partners to Cope with Carol the Coach
Betrayal effects the brain and leaves partners having trouble with racing thoughts, speech difficulties and problems making decisions. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Kristi Knight an expert in neurofeedback who has conistently worked with partners to get their brains back on line.Find out how this treatment can help you to feel safe again and manage the triggers of partner betrayal.
01:00:01
December 12, 2019
Don't Underestimate The Power of Mindfulness with Carol the Coach
Resourcing is the quickest way for partner's to get their brain back online.Today, I will be talking to Richa Badami who is an APSATS trained personal transformation coach. She brings nearly 20 years of coaching, workshop and retreat leading experience to partners who have been impacted by someone else's problematic sexual behavior. Her approach is not only partner sensitive, it is trauma informed and mindfulness based. In her book "Coming Home to the Heart-Transforming Trauma into Infinite Possibilities for Healing" Richa shares her story of sexual abuse as a child growing up in India, and her poweful journey of recovery from it. She also is a recovered partner so Richa knows about trauma!
52:47
December 05, 2019
Repeat of The Boundaries Show for Partners with Carol the Coach
My client who is an expert regarding boundaries to keep her self safe shares her journey with other partners.
44:41
November 28, 2019
Married for 36 Years to a Sex Addict with Carol the Coach
Beth Denison has been married to a pastor for 36 years and her story includes their recovery together. They started a recovery ministry and have found some key components to helping couples heal. Beth is a Certified Life Coach and has written a 12 Week Recovery Workbook for groups. Listen as she shares her amazing story!
01:00:00
November 21, 2019
A Partner's Shame with Carol the Coach
Carol will be interviewing Liza Young, who is a counselor who has a passion for helping women through sexual betrayal. Liza willl share how she has seen shame interfere with the progress toward healing and how to work through it and move towards empowerment. She will talk about the steps one most take to feel good enough and valued again.
58:22
November 14, 2019
Using the Trauma Lens to Work with Partners with Carol the Coach
Repeat of a show on traum
01:01:29
November 07, 2019
APSATS Advocates for Your Safety with Carol the Coach
Repeat of the show introducing Laurie Hall who will describe her vision for APSATS with Carol the Coach.
48:41
October 31, 2019
EMDR Can Help You with Carol the Coach
Find out the benefits of EMDR and how it treats trauma. Repeat of an earlier show
54:25
October 24, 2019
Creating Safe Space for Partners with Carol the Coach
Windell Gill will be speaking with Carol today  on the program that he has developed for sex addicts wo want to become helpers tward their partner's healing. Creating Safe Space: How to Help the Healing When You Did the Hurting is a 12 week course that helps men to learn the skills to rebuild safety and trust.
01:00:01
October 17, 2019
How Pornography Hurts with Carol the Coach
People will tell you that "it's only. looking at images." But we know that  can taklooking at adult images can take anyone down and today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Joshua Shea who is a recovering ponography addict who made the error of engaging a teenage girl in an online chatroom for which he was arrested and served 6 months in jail. He has gotten clean, and has made it his mission to help others with the addiction.Listen as he talks about his struggles to get back up and create purpose in his life.
01:00:01
October 10, 2019
Partner Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Repeat of the show
56:18
October 03, 2019
Betrayal: From Chaos to Purpose with Carol the Coach
Larry Billotta experienced betrayal in his marriage and uncovered several priniples that provided relief to men and women affected by betrayal. He believes his childhood programming also contributed to his issues and he is going to share with Carol the Coach how he unhooked from this programming.
50:38
September 26, 2019
Helping Partners Heal with Carol the Coach
Repeat of the show
56:18
September 26, 2019
Are Polygraphs Reliable with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach interviews Jen Cole who has handpicked Dave Robbins whose partner sensitivety allows the coupleship to get a good polygraph assessment.
01:00:19
September 19, 2019
My Husband Was Blackmailed with Carol the Coach
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Michelle who has wanted to inspire partners by sharing her story of her husband's out of control sexually addictive behavior and the havoc it cause in her family. Michelle was able to take back her life by supporting her husband into getting the help he needed and working towards creating the family life that she had always wanted.Despite the trauma, Michelle was able to find the positives that his crisis would bring the family.
01:00:01
September 12, 2019
Sexual Betrayal and Your Fractured Attachment with Carol the Coach
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing James Annear of Core Relationship Recovery who has researched the attachment styles of betrayed partners and has found extreme wounding that effects deep trust and intimacy. Today, he will be talking about the 4 attachment styles and how they are effected when "heart wounding" occurs.
01:00:27
September 05, 2019
Emotions and Empathy with Carol the Coach
APSATS president Laurie Hall and Carol the Coach will be talking about strategies they use to help partners heal. They will be discussing Internal Family System work and Empathy techniques that restore safety, stabalization and healing from grief. Learn how to manage painful emotions to help you heal from sexual betrayal.
56:09
August 29, 2019
Does Your Spouse Need "Longer" Term Care with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol will be interviewing Tim Kiernon who has worked at Prescott House after graduating from their program. He is a proponent of longer term treatemt as he firmly believes that the more time an addict has to work on his recovery, the better off his family has for their own healing. If your spouse has been struggling with good sobriety, this may be the answer!
57:39
August 22, 2019
The Unforgivable: My Husband is in Love with My Daughter with Carol the Coach
Today Carol the Coach will be talking with Amy whose husband committed the worst form of betrayal, he cheated on her with their adult daughter and had a baby. Listen how Amy talks about how she is restoring her sense of trust after this horrific sexual betrayal.
48:18
August 15, 2019
How to Heal from Sexual Betrayal with Carol the Coach
There is no greater pain than the pain of sexual betrayal and today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jennifer Josey a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist who is also a CSAT. She will be sharing what the most important things  the SA can do to repair trut in his/her relationship. She also will be giving tips on the partner can do to heal from the betrayal.
01:00:00
August 08, 2019
The Gifts of Recovery with Carol the Coach
Tim Stein is a partner sensitive therapist who wrote Gifts of Recovery to help men and women in recovery from sex addiction find healing. He believes it has great merit for the partner in recovery because each day iincludes a quote, a therapy lesson and or a therapy metaphor and much of the book has a relational lesson too!
58:21
August 01, 2019
Are Women Who Love Sex Addicts in Abusive Relationships with Carol the Coach
Repeat Show of whether women are in abusive relationships if they love and addict.
57:32
July 20, 2019
Is Sexual Deception A Sexual Assault with Carol the Coach
Sex addicts who knowingly have sex with their spouses while having unprotected sex with others are violating their spouses by undermining her self-determination over her body.  When the partner of the SA has no idea she's been "having sex" with her spouse's sex workers, a crime has been committed. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Alex Katehakis, Ph.D, Clinical Director of Center for Healthy Sex, who believes that sex in a relationship where intimate deception is taking place is a non-consensual act and leaves many partners feeling "raped"  having been exposed to multiple sex partners and the potential to contract an STI, some of which can be fatal. Find out why few women get honest enough with themselves about the gravity of this type of gross violation!
56:10
July 18, 2019
Partners Finally Have a Partner Sensitive Intensive Program with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is interviewing Cathy Walls who works at PCS - Psychological Counselling Services - and is the first to offer the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Model for partners who want intensive treatment. Listen as Cathy helps you to determine whether this would be a good fit for you!
01:00:00
July 11, 2019
Partner Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach talks with experts on partner betrayal.
55:11
July 05, 2019
You Deserve the Truth with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dan Drake and Janice Caudill on their new book, Full Disclosure: How To Share The Truth After Sexual Betrayal.  They recognize that doing a full disclosure can be both daunting and difficult, so they will be talking about their step by step approach they have created in their new workbooks. They have participated in hundeds of disclosures and have years of experience and are committed to helping you navigate a complicated yet vital part of healing after sexual betayal.
01:00:20
June 27, 2019
A Recovering Couple Helps Couples in Recovery with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is talking with Mathew and Joanna Raabsmith who work together helping couples and individuals find healing and transformation when sexual betrayal occurs. Today, they will share their own story of healing and restoration from the damage of addiction and betrayal in their marriage. They seek to use their training and experience to empower other couples to find healing and wholeness in their own unique journey.
01:00:00
June 20, 2019
Getting to Know Carol the Coach with Guest Host Jen Cole
Coach Jen is going to be interviewing Carol the Coach. The show has been running for a year now and Coach Jen thought it was time for you to get to know the host "up front and personal." She will be asking Carol about her personal journey so that the listeners will know what obstacles that she has had to face in her life.
57:31
June 14, 2019
How to Work with Male Partners
Listen as Andy Johns talks with Carol the Coach about the nuances of working with male partners.
51:03
June 06, 2019
How Can We Help Our Daughters Manage This Crisis with Carol the Coach
How do you help your daughters work through sex addiction when it ravages your family. Kristin Cary talks about a program that has helped daughters work through their trauma and band together recognizing that they are not alone. Daughters in the Battle has a unique program that gives daughters the support that they deserve.
01:00:00
May 30, 2019
Resources For A Partner Struggling with Sexual Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jean who has struggled with her husbands sexual addiction. She was able to work through the addiction and has come out feeling like her marriage has survived and thrived. Jean is now helping others to get through this process and she wants to share the resources to build your tool box and come out of this with a personal sense of power.
01:00:01
May 23, 2019
A Partner Talks about Emotional Safety with Carol the Coach
Today Carol interviews Anne who is the producer and host of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast. She spent years of attempting to help her husband recover from his sexual addiction, yet problems worsened and he was arrested for domestic violence. Anne has made it her mission to help other partners keep themselves safe and she would like to share her journey with us!
01:00:01
May 16, 2019
How to Identify and Address Abuse and Neglect with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck who believes when a couple enters treament for sex addiction recovery, their lives have been turned upside down and both parties will most likely be engaginging in abusive behaviors towards one another. Their relationship is in turmoil and they are experiencing a plethora of feelings. A good counselor has to be able to address and identify the abuse and neglect cycle that exists so that healing can occur. Dr. Hollenbeck believes that it can be advantageous to see the addict, the partner, and the couple.She is going to talk about what the couple can do to provide each other with safety for healing.
01:00:01
May 09, 2019
What is the Difference Between Sobriety and Recovery with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dan and Angie Andrew who want the community to understand the difference betwwen sobriety and true recovery. They believe that the coupleship with thrive when both people do their work and support each other's recovery. They will discuss the tools for recovery  that keep the lines of communication open and promote good self care.
01:00:00
May 02, 2019
Healing from Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing partner specialist and author Mari A. Lee, who co-wrote Facing Heartbreak and Healing from Betrayal. She is going to share her own story and he work with both addicts and partners. Partners will leave this show with resources, information and a renewed sense of hopeful empowerment for their own healing and reclaiming of self in the aftermath of intimate betrayal trauma
57:49
April 25, 2019
A Recovering Marriage Requires Focus with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach interviews Cherie, a partner who had to change her perspective about marriage after she learned of her husband's betrayal that required a 65 day stay in rehab. This woman has totally changed her perspective on marriage and has redesigned her life to find meaning from the tragedy. She believes that recovering together is a blessing from God. Find out how she not only survived the crisis but now has thrived from it.
54:58
April 18, 2019
Introducing the New President of APSATS with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is interviewing Laurie Hall, new president of APSATS, who shares her passion for partners and the vision she has for APSATS going further, Laurie talks about her groundbreaking book, An Affair of the Mind which was one of the first books ever published on how sex addiction affected her family. Laurie has always wanted to inform partners on how they could protect themselves and their family .Find out why helping to guide APSATS is part of the legacy that Laurie wants to continue!
48:41
April 11, 2019
There is Help for Male Partners with Carol the Coach
Male Partners Speak Up! We know that male partners are hesitant to speak up because of the stigma they  feel about having been betrayed. Today, Carol the Coach interviews APSATS candidate Andy Johns who wants to help male partners get the services that they deserve. Find out what resources are out there for male partners.
51:03
April 04, 2019
When Do We Need an Intensive with Carol the Coach
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Sharon Rinearson and James Annear share their excting "We-ness Model" of healing that can build trust and safety for couples dealing with sexual betrayal. Their homey healing cener is a testament to their personal therapeutic styles and their passion for helping couples traverse this painful journe of chaos and pain into a balanced life of love, truth, and trust.
56:19
March 28, 2019
Helping Couples Heal through this On-line Opportunity with Carol the Coach
Helping Couples Heal is a comprehensive in-person and online program that was developed based on a workshop that Marnie Breeker facilitated for many years woth Dr. Omar Minwalla. She now offers it with Duane Osterlind whose mission is to help individual struggling with process addiction. Marnie and Duane share the tools and strategies to heal from relational trauma. Carol the Coach will help share why this proraming is so powerful!
55:12
March 21, 2019
PTSD: Do You Have Abuse in Your Past with Carol the Coach
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing David Essel who will be explaining common issues that plague partners who have abuse in their past. David is going to identify the symptoms and manifestations of PTSD and help partners work through the deep healing that needs to occur to work through the trauma that accompanies sexual abuse and betrayal. Listen as he shares some healthy resources to help balance the trauma.
55:46
March 14, 2019
How Can Groups Assist in the Healing of Partner Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Karen Rellos, APSATS Coach, who is a partner herself and has an amazing story about the relationship healing that occurred in her life. She feels that groups were instrumental in that journey and she wants to let parnters know how they can find sanity in an unsafe situation. We will be joined by 3 other partners  who have experienced the benefits and blessings of group!
58:47
March 07, 2019
Relational Recovery in the UK with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Catherine Etherington who will be talking about the Life Recovery Program recently launched by Naked Truth Project.. The Life Recovery Program is the "next step in support groups" bridging the gap from sovriety to rlational recovery within marriages and committed relationships.
51:00
February 28, 2019
When Is a Therapeutic Separation Necessary with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is interviewing  MJ Denis who defines a Therapeutic Seperation as a process that occurs while the couple is working towards reconcilliation but needs the seperation for safety. Find out what the guidelines are when considering doing a Therapeutic Separation.
56:18
February 21, 2019
Why You Need a Trauma Lens to Work with Partners with Carol the Coach
APSATS believes that partner betrayal requires a therapist or coach who understands trauma. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Angela Bolen, LMFTA who specializes in family sytems and understands that it is imperative to look at betrayal through a trauma lens so that the professional can help the client understand what is happening to her when she discovers that her husband is a sex addict. This is a great show for anyone who wants to understand what is happening neurologically to the brain after discovery.
59:59
February 14, 2019
What Do You Do If You Decide To Leave with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Gaelyn Emerson who is a full-time life, relationship and divorce recovery coach, “down in the trenches” with men, women and couples reeling (and healing!) together from the traumatic impact of sexual betrayal. In addition to her work with recovering couples, Gaelyn is a uniquely passionate advocate for women whose relationships DON'T survive, creating programs for divorced, divorcing and/or separated partners of sex addicts. Gaelyn is credentialed through Impact Coaching Academy, the International Coach Federation and the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. She also utilizes advanced training in problematic sexual behavior, abandonment, abuse, grief, trauma and peer facilitation. Gaelyn coaches clients through her private practice, Women Ever After, LLC (womeneverafter.com) and is also onstaff at CORE Relationship Recovery. Gaelyn will be talking about helping partners deal with the transition of separation and divorc
57:43
February 07, 2019
An Interview with Barb Steffens and her Vision for APSATS with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing President Barb Steffens as she steps down from APSATS. Barbara Steffens was the recepienct of the Carnes Award in 2018 for poutstanding contributions in the field. She will be talking about the vision that APSATS continues to hold as the premier Partner Sensitive Training Program in the world. APSATS trains clinicans and coaches internationally to provide services to partners who have been impacted by loving/living with someone with sexual addiction. During the interview, we will talk about the history of APSATS, the Multidimentsonal Partner Trauma Model and the advances that have been made in the field as well as the hopes and vision for the future of APSATS.
55:36
January 31, 2019
A Course in Healing from Gaslighting with Carol the Coach
cSo many partners have to face gaslighting when they are uncovering their spouses addiction. Even after recovery they will find themselves wondering if gaslighting is continuing to occur. Carol the Coach is going to be interviewing Sarah Moreles who developed a self study course on gaslighting.  Listen as she helps you to determine the strategies to combat this psychological betrayal.
51:41
January 24, 2019
How Does Shame Show Up In Your Relationship with Carol the Coach
Shme is recognized as one of the most painful emotional experiences and plays a tremendous role in the cycle of addiction. Shame can haunt partners too and can derail a partners healing. Today, Carol the Coach is talking to "Shame Specialist" Jake Porter who will talk about the powerful emotion of shame and it's more powerful antidote, vulnerability.
56:22
January 17, 2019
Don't Let Sexual Addiction Affect Your Health with Carol the Coach
Dealing with an addict can wreak havoc on your health. Author Cat Clark writes about this in her memoir Sitting on the Porch Swing. In her book, she details how sex addiction effected her immune systme and how partners need to  increase their self care as they tend to their own recovery. She dealt with her husband's sex addiction for over 19 years and believes that their treatment would have been expediated if they had seen a counselor that understood sex addiction and partner betrayal. Cat has some special tips for partners who are on the roller coaster of sex addiction!
58:13
January 10, 2019
Virtual Groups Increase Your Support
Carol the Coach interviews Shawna Meek who is running Restoration Partner Groups to help women find encouragement, accountability and hope after betrayal trauma has occured. She knows that from research that groups can better heal and find hope from others that have gone through these heart-shattering experiences.
54:45
January 03, 2019
Are You Being Abused in Your Relationship with a Sex Addict with Carol the Coach
If you are wondering if you are being abused in your relationship...this show will help you learn about techniques that SA's may use to keep you from discovering them.
57:32
December 27, 2018
Improving Your Concious Relationship with God with Carol the Coach
Are you having trouble feeling a solid connection with God? Listen as Carol the Coach speaks with experts who will deepen your relationship with your Higher Power.
01:04:31
December 25, 2018
How Can We Suppport Partners with Carol the Coach
Don't you wish that there was a "Do's and Don'ts List" for  people who work with partners? Professionals, pastors, friends and family are well meaning but they often times are unclear as to how to support a woman who is suffering from sexual betrayal. Lyschel Burket has put together a list of Do's and Don't to help anyone who is on the front line and wants to have some healthy guidelines for helping Partners heal and deal with partner betrayal.
57:06
December 20, 2018
How Can We Support the Kids Through Sexual Addiction with Carol the Coach
Kids are smart and they can sense or know when Discovery has occured yet they tend to get lost in the shuffle once betrayal trauma surfaces. Carol the Coach interviews Jessica L. Eidens,CSAT, CCPS who is a specialist helping families get through the pain, tension and stress that comes with problematic sexual behavior.
59:45
December 13, 2018
Is Micro-Cheating a Form of Sexual Addiction with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck who is a specialist in helping couples heal from relational betrayal. She is going to discuss the topic of Micro-Cheating and discussing how you can identify it in your relationship.
57:29
December 06, 2018
Faith Related Re-Traumatization with Carol the Coach
Although well meaning, people in your faith community can betray you because they don't have enough education and information about partner betrayal and trauma. Carol the Coach interview's Karen Trifiletti who has made it her mission to help faith communities become more partner sensitive. She helps partners to deal with the retraumatization that can occur with her faith community when well intentioned pastors or leaders victimize the partner or give bad advise. Listen as Karen gives examples of key identifiers that will help a partner to know how to handle this institutional trauma.
59:50
November 29, 2018
Here are Some Important Resources for Partners with Carol the Coach
Happy Thanksgiving...I am with my family today but I am airing a show on partner resources to help guide you to accessing more support. Talk to you next week at our regular time! Carol
01:01:34
November 22, 2018
How Can the Couple Deepen Their Relationship with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach is interiewing Christian Hutcheson, an expert in couples therapy. Dr Christian believes that she has found a technique that moves couples into deeper recovery when they have reached a plateau in their couples work.She believes that she has found the secret to enriching the couples relationship and she wants to share it with you!
48:16
November 15, 2018
Rebuilding Your Sexual Relationship with Carol the Coach
I am training Clinicians and Coaches this week so this is a replay of a show that talks about how to build your sexual relationship in a way that makes you feel safe! We will see you back next week for live Betrayal Trauma Radio.
59:40
November 08, 2018
EMDR Can Help You Calm the Triggers with Carol the Coach
EMDR is a wonderful therapy designed to help you integrate the traumatic experience in a manner that allows you to recall the memory without feeling intense trauma. EMDR was created to help you integrate the traumatic experience so that you process trauma and build more resiliency. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Cheri Hammer who has a specialty of working with betrayal trauma and teaching partners how they can manage their triggers to live calmer lives.
54:25
November 01, 2018
Emotional Regulation and Shame Resiliency in Partner Recovery w/ Carol the Coach
Judy Kelly  is an LCSW and a CSAT who is trained in Dr. Brene Brown's work on shame resiliency. She works with couples experiencing sexual addiction and wants to help partners work through emotional self regulation and shame resiliency. Carol the Coach will be inteviewing Judy on her Daring Greatly and Rising Strong Workshops that she does to promote healing and good self-esteem.
58:52
October 25, 2018
Getting Clarity by Understanding Gaslighting with Carol the Coach
While gaslightiing is something that is an issue in many, many relationships, the gaslighting experience is not always the same. Like most things, there is a scale or a degree that a sex addict may use gas lighting to maintain his addiction. Listen as Carol the Coachh interviews gaslighting expert Sarah Morales who wants to share the red flags so that you will be able to identify it. She maintains that you must know what it really is so that free yourself from the harmful effects.
57:05
October 18, 2018
How to Use Trigger Busters in the Relationship with Carol the Coach
One of the greatest casualties to sexual addiction is when a partner has to deal with triggers. Dorit Reichental  has developed a Trigger Busters technique that sex addicts can use with their partners to assist in managing the triggers. Listen as she and Carol the Coach dialogue about how a husband can be the support she needs to quiet the triggers!
59:44
October 11, 2018
A Partner Gives Back with Carol the Coach
So many partners want to give back to other partners but are not sure how to start. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Coach Cat who shares her own personal story of being a partner, and having limited supports to get her through the crisis. What did she do? She got the needed training to work with partners and give back by becoming APSATS trained and creating curriculum for the Naked Truth Project in the UK. She is living proof of how you can grow stronger from this crisis!
52:54
October 04, 2018
How Do I Stop These Triggers with Carol the Coach
Partners of sex addicts experience an emotional roller coaster due to the unique and powerful trauma of sexual betrayal. Lisa will be explaining to Carol the Coach the phenomenon of triggering and the potential damage this can cause, outlining her favorite methods for successful namigation of these occurrences i the daily lives of partners.
58:17
September 27, 2018
Rescuing Partners from the Trauma Triggers with Carol the Coach
Anyone who has experienced the trauma of betrayal knows the reality of the dreaded triggers that plague the lives of partners. In the context of the relationship in which the betrayal occurred, these triggers often merge with the addict's own relational trauma scripts which greatly affects a partners sense of safety.  Listen as Carol the Coach interviews "Trigger Expert" Jake Porter, who has a method that your spouse can use to make you feel safe and help work you through the trigger.
57:07
September 13, 2018
A Sex Addict, His Polygraph, and His Recovery with Carol the Coach
Listen as Carol interviews a sex addict who wants to share his recovery from addiction and the role the polygraph has played in his healing and growth. He wants to communicate the powerful and positive impact the polygraph has had on his recovery and sexual brokenness and the positive impact it has made on his life and marriage.
01:00:03
September 06, 2018
Using A Partner Sensitive Approach with SA's and Partners
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Tim Stein MFT, CSAT, CCPS who has made it his mission to deal with the aftermath of sexual addiction by using a partner sensitive approach. He will be discussing the benefits to sex addicts, the betrayed partners and the relationships of incorportating a partner sensitive approach into the sex addict's individual and group therapy work.
58:45
August 30, 2018
What the Church Can Do to Support Partners with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Lyschel Burket who is a Lead Hope Caster for  Hope Redefined Ministries, an organization that assists Churches in providing partner sensitive guidance when sexual betrayal has occured. Lyschel discovered first hand how churches, although well meaning, did not provide the proper guidance to partners and she has made it her mission to educate churches to minister to partners to restore hope and mend deeper wounds that occur as a result of partner betrayal.
56:37
August 23, 2018
Partners and Sexual Trauma with Carol the Coach on Betrayal Recovery Radio
There is a growing awareness, research and appropriate treatment modalities about the traumatic impact of learning of a loved one's addiction, However, there is a distinct absence of research seeking more information about the sexual impact of the addiction on the partner's sexual experience. Carol the Coach is interviewing Jeanne Vattuone who will be helping us understand sexual trauma and how this effects partners and how they can heal from it.
56:21
August 16, 2018
A Partners Journey with Carol the Coach
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Evelyn who has a story to share about loving a sex addict who has been in and out of recovery. She wants you to know that despite the intense pain behind her story, she has managed to grow stronger. She has vowed to help other women on this journey. She is currently writing a memoir to help provide a guide that will empower other women.
55:03
August 09, 2018
Vulnerability and Intimacy After Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Marie Kriebs an expert in intimacy disorders, partner betrayal and vulnerability. As an APSATS trained therapist, she believes it is important to educate betrayed partners about healthy intimacy and the importance of personal growth and self awareness. She will be sharing some of the myths about vulnerability and helping our listeneers toidentify how and when they can be more vulnerable.
59:18
August 02, 2018
Discovering your Spouse's Secret Betrayal with Carol the Coach
Relationship Betrayal Trauma Recovery  is essential for a person to heal from the wounds of being betrayed by their spouse or intimate partner. However, knowing what to do when you discover the secret betrayals can be overwhelmingly confusing. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck who specializes in helping individuals and couples heal the wounds of Relationship Betrayal. Today she is going to help partners understand what to do from discovering their spouse's secret betrayal to expectations for the process of seeking professional help.
56:19
July 26, 2018
When Can We Work on Our Relationship with Carol the Coach
Things have changed and what we know at APSATS is that once an addict is in good recovery, we need to start working on the early fundamentals of couples work to help the partner feel safe. Listen as Jeanne Vattuone talks about the principles of working with the coupleship after discovery, recovery, and disclosure
01:02:18
July 19, 2018
Boundaries Are Essential For You and Your Spouse with Carol the Coach
Boundaries are essenntial in good sexual addiction recovery. Not only do they keep you safe, but they let your spouse know what the consequences are if they are violated. Carol and Pam have hammered out some good boundaries and consequences that have worked well in Pam's family. Find out how to create healthy boundaries or fine tune the ones you already have!
43:41
July 12, 2018
Can Polygraphs Really Help a Sex Addict Stay Sober with Carol the Coach
Carol The Coach will be interviewing David Robbins who is a certified polygrapher and uses them regularly to help sex addicts build trust in their wives and to increase the accountability factor that helps to keep them sober. He has given over 200 polygraphs to sex addicts and finds it particularly helpful after disclosures. Listen to this facinating interview and decide if you want to use polygraphs in your relationship!
01:00:19
July 05, 2018
Couples Can Survive Sexual Addiction with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach interviews Coach Karen who has lived through partner betrayal and shares her inspirational story of how she and her husband healed together. She explains that recovery work is necessary for both the partner and spouse but then they must work on the coupleship to regain the intimacy that they lost. Coach Karen will share some thoughts, tools and suggestions for those who are beginnng  to navigate this road back and desire to know what true reconciliation might look like.Listen as Coach Karen shares her wisdom from her own personal story!
01:00:03
June 28, 2018
Are Women Who Love Sex Addicts in Abusive Relationships with Carol the Coach
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Anne Blythe, Founder and CEO of Betrayal Trauma Recovery which helps women dealing with the abusive nature of their relationship with ography users. Anne explains that coming to grips with the fact that you’re in an abusive relationship is a process, and Betrayal Trauma Recovery aims to help women through the process and get to safety - hopefully with their relationship in tact because BTR believes people can change. To ensure your emotional, physical, and sexual safety through the process, there is a specific, proven path, set out by the APSATS multi-dimensional partner trauma model that is followed exclusively at BTR because all BTR coaches are APSATS certified and work together as a team to support clients through the process. BTR has daily online support groups and individual sessions for clients. Listen as Carol shares these important services for you!
56:02
June 21, 2018
The Devastation of Partner Betrayal Your Source for Healing
Today, Carol will be interviewing Barbara Steffens, APSATS President, who will be sharing the history of why she started APSATS and how partners of sexual addiction can seek the safety they deserve. Nothing destroys trust like sexual betrayal. Beyond broken vows, a woman discovers that the man she loves has been compulsively visiting adult websites,chatting on line or having multiple affairs must deal with the devastating blows to her self-image and self-worth. She must grapple with the fact that the man she loved and thought that she knew has lied and deceived her. Where does she go for help? Carol the Coach will be hosting this show to help you find the strength and the resources to get you through this crisis. She is an APSATS trained therapist who understands partner betrayal. She knows that you can get through this and wants APSATS to be your source for healing! Carol and APSATS have made it their mission to provide support as you navigate through the betrayal and as APSATS President Barbara Steffens says, "Find safety in an unsafe situation."
54:10
June 14, 2018
Betrayal Recovery Radio Presents Partner Betrayal 101
This is a description of the show that we have created for you as you deal with being a partner of a sex addict and work through the trauma and drama in your life. You didn't cause this, you can't cure it but you can keep yourself safe and we are going to help you figure out how to do it!
13:22
June 06, 2018