Between Us & Y’all: Conversations between a Mama & her young adult son.

Happy Friday BU&Y Family! Episode 23 of the Between Us & Y’all Podcast is available for your listening pleasure. This is our FINAL EPISODE for Season 1!! This has been such an awesome journey. Nafees & I have learned so much from all of our guests and look forward to what’s to come in future Seasons. We thank you for your support, for listening in, and for being a part of our BU&Y family. We appreciate you!

In this final episode, we are joined by one of our favorite Mama/son duos and dear friends Mama Adero & her son Nadir. We have been friends with them for close to ten years, with Nadir being one of Nafees’ first best friends, so it is only appropriate that we end Season 1 with this type of friend & guest just as our first guests to the podcast were also of this same friend type. Mama Adero ‘Nas’ as we affectionately call Nadir has always been an amazing resource to Nafees and I and so many others and we are grateful for having them in our lives. We learned so much from them in this episode as we discussed the topic of International & Interacial Relations, focusing on Maintaining your identity.

As families of African centered, religious, and any other tight-knit community type within communities of African descent, we want to create space for our young people who come from these backgrounds and who need to be prepared to enter general society at some point. We want to arm our young people with the tools to communicate, do business, etc. with people who don’t look and think like them while also teaching them how to maintain their unique identities during those processes.

Sometimes this process may involve a conversation about topics that are not comfortable for certain families who are not in favor of interracial or even international relationships/friendships of the same race or community type. Although it may be uncomfortable, creating space for this type of dialogue will allow our families to work through differences before they become things that cause communication blockages or other breakdowns in our family structures. When our young people are able to function successfully on the foundations set at home in the larger society, it is then that we can learn about the lessons we have instilled in them.

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It was awesome to hear Nafees & Nas dialogue on their experiences of entering into community & educational spaces that were drastically different from what they were used to and how they endured. It was also encouraging to learn how Mama Adero has supported Nas in this new path in life and how that process was very similar to my own.

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We give thanks for everything shared with us and our listeners on the topic and hope you will too. 

About our guests:

Mother, wife, Virtual Assistant at Kilombo

Rising Senior Prescott College (Regenerative Ecological Design major), Musician

Business advertised: Nzuri Drummers: thenzuridrummers.com

On IG @nzuridrummers Shirts advertised in this episode:  Nzuri drummers Mama Shirt

Family motto: “If you get, give, if you learn, teach.”-Maya Angelou

In this episode, we are joined by my beautiful and dear friend Mama Ayo & her dynamic daughter Noni. Mama Ayo is a community Mama who has assisted in both raising & educating so many children, including Nafees. Her example as a mother & friend is one that I’ve worked to model after, and am grateful for. Noni is amazing in so many ways, and we are so grateful for having her on the podcast as our second young adult female voice. We are discussing the topic of Social Media, focusing specifically on understanding your brand/image being virtually created, and how to make the best of one’s presence on any social media platform.

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As parents, social media is something that we saw being created and evolved into a world of its own. It changed the way we communicate, how we do business and so many other aspects of life. We have made the changes necessary to create our own social media presence, but taking the time to understand this process for our young people whose lives have always included social media is very much necessary.

Whether we are opening a dialogue about social media safety or what types of images/virtual brands we are all aiming to create, having an open mind and intentional space for this conversation in our family discussions can be an eye-opener in many ways. As Mama Ayo stated, “Social media branding is almost like a performance and it shows who we really are.” Understanding your young person’s social media brand, and allowing them to understand yours can really help our families understand who we are in the virtual and real world.

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We give thanks for everything shared with us and our listeners on the topic and hope you will too. Listen to the full episode here: https://anchor.fm/betweenusandyall

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About our guests:

Ayo Nkita Mayala: Mother, wife, educator.

Noni: Daughter & rising sophomore at Spelman College.

Business highlighted Adinkra styles: Clothing line: IG @adinkrastyles (Shirts in episode: Sankofa t-shirts)

Family motto: “Simba Simbe. Hold up that which holds you up.”

Happy Friday BU&Y Family! Episode 21 of the Between Us & Y’all Podcast is available for your listening pleasure. We are down to the first of our last three episodes in Season 1 !!

In this episode, we are joined by a creative & powerful Mama son duo, Myriam Dondzina & her son Azariah Richardson. We are discussing the topic of Unbiased Topics, focusing on Appearance/Presentation & Work Ethic. 

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As parents, many of us are sticklers of how all of our family members present ourselves to the public. Many of us believe that every member of the family is a representative, and with that we want every representation to be a good one. Some of us really take the saying, “Cut from the same cloth” to heart. We want our family members to match our clothing and character inside and out. This can all be very overwhelming and confusing for our young people when we don’t create space for open dialogue about the process.

We also have to consider that our young people are seeking to be unique and nonconforming to societal norms. They want to stand out and make a statement that presents something new. Learning the intentions behind their style choices can start with fair and honest conversations void of judgment or negativity.

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This conversation was so impactful. Nafees and I had a chance to explain our views on being African centered Muslims presenting ourselves to our community. We loved learning how that was received and shared in terms of core values for Myriam and Azariah. They blessed us with examples of ‘radiating your best self with your appearance’ and how that may or may not be a thing when looking for a mate. We also discussed our family’s approach to work ethic and how we work together inside and outside the home. We learned so much, and loved the playful and insightful dialogue shared!

We give thanks for everything shared with us and our listeners on the topic and hope you will too. 

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About our guests:

• Myriam: Wife, Mother, Professional, & Martial Artist.
• Azariah: Rising College Freshman, dancer, and overall creative cool Brotha.

Business highlighted: Org co-founded by Myriam: Capoeira Angola: Martial Arts group: FB Grupo Nzinga de Capoeira Angola / Atlanta

Family motto: “Don’t procrastinate, Celebrate” & “There’s a thousand ways to get things done, so just do it.”

Happy Friday  BU&Y Family! 

In this episode, we are joined by the amazing Mama Jana Johnson Davis and her two powerful young men Kobi & Khari.  We are continuing the conversation on the topic of Money Management, focusing specifically on Investment Ideas & Monetizing Hobbies.

In our last episode, we were discussing ways to save our money, how to budget it, and bank account management. Once we have those important factors in place, we can benefit greatly from exploring the topics of investing and monetizing hobbies. We are living in a time where a simple idea or hobby can easily turn into a very lucrative business. Being open to a conversation about these topics allows our families to not only support each other but to also develop what could be a means to financial freedom for generations to come.

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We were very grateful for the insight shared by Mama Jana on how she and her husband Mawuli have been very intentional about allowing their son’s creativity and personal visions to have the freedom to thrive. Oftentimes, children of two very public and influential parents are not given this type of freedom and are expected to mirror the lives of their parents with no room for even the slightest desire for change. Both Kobi & Khari are entrepreneurs along with being students, and they spoke freely, confidently, and affectionately about what it feels like to have discussed their investment ideas with their families and friends then saw their hobbies turn into goals achieved with monetary gains. How dope is THAT?!

The relationship between Jana and her young men reminded us so much of our relationship. You can tell that the young men love their parents so much and seem to have a soft spot for their Mama & a sweet spot for their Baba. You can also tell this family has done their homework on both investment ideas and monetizing hobbies.

We give thanks for everything shared with us and our listeners on the topic and hope you will too. Listen to the full episode here: https://anchor.fm/betweenusandyall

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About our guests:

• Jana Johnson Davis: Mom, Educator, City of schools of Decatur board, Internship Director for Davis Bozeman Law Firm.
• Koby Davis: Howard graduate in Marketing, future GA State Law student.
• Khari: Rising junior at Howard, Film.

Businesses highlighted:

• Kobi: Powermoves Only Management (PMO) Music company: IG @pmomanagement,  Email: pmomgmt@gmail.com
• Khari: Hari Creates: IG @airhari_ @haricreates (clothing & film services)
  

Family motto:

“Do what you love and everything will come after that.”

“Just do the work and everything will fall into place.)

“The will to win is nothing without the will to prepare.)

Happy Friday  BU&Y Family! Episode 17 of the Between Us & Y’all Podcast is available for your listening pleasure. 

In this episode, we are joined by my beloved friend Drea D'Nur and her beautiful daughter Sehrea to continue the conversation on Navigating Adulthood. We are focusing on making a name for yourself as it relates to your family’s legacy, and how to remain connected to your family after moving out. 

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Every family has a legacy, and every member of that family contributes to it. Aiding our young adults in the process to ensure they are both present and intentional about their contribution is very necessary. We can also be intentional collectively about what remaining connected looks like for our young people after they begin to spread their young adult wings, whatever that looks like. 

This was our first time having a mother/daughter duo on the podcast! It was such a special moment, and the insight shared was powerful. It’s so very important to include the feminine perspective in a podcast like ours which aims to create safe spaces for mothers and sons to discuss important topics.

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We aim to raise young men who are effective communicators in every way possible. Engaging our young women in these developmental conversations early on allows for well-rounded perspectives.

We learned so much from Drea & Sehrea. They were open, honest, and full of so much love.

We enjoyed this episode very much, and hope you will too. 

*About our guests:

Drea D’Nur: Mother, music artist, entrepreneur. Follow on all outlets (Drea D’Nur.)

Sehrea: Music artist, writer, oldest of five, producer, and college student. Follow on IG: (sehreandayu)

Business highlighted: Feed Buffalo @feedbuffalo owned by Drea D’Nur. This is Buffalo New York's first Halal food access resource center. Learn more at Feedbuffalo.org (IG, FB)

Family motto: “What is our way? LOVE! 💜💚

We are so happy to have Mama Yinka Winfrey and her young man Ayinde to join us for this episode. They joined us to continue our conversation on Navigating Resources focusing on understanding what is known as an ‘esusu’ also known as a ‘sou-sou’. An esusu describes traditional forms of cooperation in African societies where groups of individuals contribute to informal savings and credit associations for their mutual benefit. This conversation is timely as there are many currently participating in esusus around the country to either make up for financial setbacks they are facing due to the global pandemic or simply to participate in collective economics with friends and family.

As a people, we have always been resourceful and much more productive with the collective support of any kind, especially the financial kind. Including our young people in conversations and even chances to participate in the collective economics our families participate in provides them with valuable lessons that will benefit both them and our families for generations to come.

We are also discussing religious vs human resources, defining and discussing these types of resources as we understand them. Including this in the conversation allows for our young people to understand why we may invest in the resources that are necessary to support our faith practices, as well as to help them utilize the resources available through the people in their lives. This was a very informative and powerful conversation, and we hope that you both benefit from it and enjoy as much as we did!

A little about our guests:

***Mama Yinka: Mother, owner of the business highlighted in this episode: Ruby Royal Floral: Floral arrangements/floral design: IG: @rubyroyalfloral: Phone: 770 882 9515

***Ayinde: Rising 10th grader, avid reader, accomplished young academic, and overall great young man.

Family motto: “7 principles to live by: 1. Live life well 2. Have fun 3. Be happy 4. Make mistakes/Own them and learn with them 5. Travel & explore yourself and the world 6. Eat well 7. Be happy”

We are glad to be back! Episode 14 of the Between Us & Y’all Podcast is available for your listening pleasure.

Really grateful to have my good friend and amazing Mama Keitra Bates and her son Baraan to join us for this episode. They joined us to begin a conversation on Navigating Resources. We are specifically focusing on understanding how city resources work and really understanding what utilizing the skills within your network means. How appropriate is this topic in a time like this?

As we aid in raising our young men and women, there is an assumption that they will automatically learn how to navigate and benefit from the resources offered within their city, State, etc. when they are on their own. This is however a skill that needs to be explained in great detail early on, especially in a society plagued with things like gentrification, red-lining, etc. As their first teachers, we owe it to them to include this important topic in our family conversations. We also owe it to ourselves as parents to benefit from the resources available around us in every way.

Mama Keitra and her young man were a joy to learn from. They were very laid back and full of pure wisdom. We shared laughs and great discussion. This conversation was amazing. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

**A little about our guests:  Mama Keitra is the founder of ‘Marddys’ shared kitchen facility (featured on NPR and other local news stations), a wife, mother, community advocate and friend. (Find more information at marddys.com)  Baraan: 15 year old game developer and rising high school Junior.  Family motto: “Who’s job is it?” (If you don’t do the job, you’re leaving it for someone else)

As we take steps to return to our normal posting schedule, in lieu of a traditional episode, we are offering a special dedication to Nafees, our cohost, his sister Yasmine and every single one of our listeners who have lost a parent. Nafees & Yasmine lost their father Omar Hassan last month. This was a tremendous loss not only for Nafees, but to Omar’s entire family, his friends, and community who remain behind. We pray that God has mercy on Omar’s soul, that he is granted paradise, and that his memory lives on forever. Ameen.

We’ve given this dedication a special title, “Five before Five.” That comes from a hadith that reads, “Take benefit of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death” *For our listeners who aren't’ familiar with hadiths, they are collections of traditions containing sayings of the prophet Muhammad (Peace & blessings be upon him) with accounts of his daily practice, or his sunnah.

I asked a few close friends and family to share with our listeners advice including any ways their view on this hadith may or may not have changed for them in their process of healing after losing a parent. I hope these words serve as a gift towards healing and are received with love.

It is so very important that we make space in our conversations after this type of loss. Even if it is a simple check-in daily or every other week to check on each other, doing so can do wonders to assist in healing our hearts. It is a form of therapy that we all deserve, and I pray that we receive this type of support. Ameen.

Many families have opted into the option of homeschooling or what many refer to as ‘Unschooling.’ The new traditional schooling process involves families making their own decisions about their family’s learning needs and process for family education overall. This process varies for different families, but what remains the same is a goal to not only think outside of the box at all times but to allow for free thinking and an education process that truly focuses on acquiring life skills in every way possible. There are many families who have also taken this approach as it relates to their career paths. They are committed to what we have labeled, ‘Uncareering’ where financial gains occur using family passions and skills.

In this episode, we engage in a conversation about what the process of charting one’s path really looks like from both the parent and young adult’s point of view. As parents who choose to follow these paths, it is important to develop healthy conversations about everyone’s expectations, challenges, and anything else that comes up. Conversations like these allow for a healthy and productive process to take place. It allows everyone to chart and support a collective family course and teaches our young adults who may one day be parents to learn early on the steps towards taking charge of their future in either the Unschooling or Uncareering process.

Liza and her two young men shared so many valuable tips on how they have approached this topic and how both Unschooling and Uncareering has impacted their lives. This family is focused on transparency and a commitment to being supportive of each other, which are extremely important steps towards healthy communication in any family.

We hope you enjoy everything shared in this episode as much as we did!

*The Garza/Lakes family mottos: “Remember who you are & have as much fun as you possibly can” “Be grateful” This family is big on transparency in everything they do.

* Liza is a musician, artist, poet, designer, and the other half to the band known as ‘Grow.’ Her work centers around love and identity. Info about her sons:

• Eli Lakes (Singer, songwriter, producer, the other half of the Band ‘Grow’)
• Ezra Lakes (Plays basketball, shirt line creator)
  

*Businesses advertised in this episode:

• Liza: Contact: Music, poetry, products, band booking: @lizagarza (Fb, Twitter, IG)
• Eli: Contact: Music, band booking @elilakes (IG)
• Ezra:Contact: Clothing & other products _freebuckets_ (IG)
• Band: Grow Official Music

**Special for this episode: *Ezra Lakes: First person to DM ‘Free buckets to say that they heard this podcast gets a FREE SHIRT!**

For those born and raised in a faith practice, or even those families who have recently begun their commitment to one religious practice, discussing expectations vs reality as it relates to adherence is very much necessary. We cannot assume that anyone will automatically think or live the same way we do and cannot place that type of assumption on our young adults. Being intentional, strategic, and gentle in your approach when you do have this discussion will help in the long run. It will allow you and your young adults to feel appreciated, heard, and empowered.

We also have to be aware that just as we parents have questions regarding both interfaith and intrafaith practices, our young adults will have questions too. Including some space for those topics in your religious adherence conversation can be really helpful as well. It will offer tools for understanding others as well as tools necessary to navigate through those things we may not understand within our own faith practices.

Nafees & I learned so much from each other in this episode. This was a really good conversation, and we hope you enjoy it!

*We would like to dedicate our standard business mention to all of our listeners who are business owners and celebrating ‘Eid ul Fitr! We wish you an amazing Eid and hope you had time to spend with your families and loved ones. Eid Mubarak!

In this episode, our guests, Karimah & her son Samad Noble continue the conversation on the topic of Drugs, offering insight on their strategies for discussing Profit Abuse & Peer Pressure.

Conversations about drugs have expanded from the time that “This is your brain on drugs” tagline was a thing. We live in a society where drug sales and use has not only been legalized, but it has been normalized in the media, social spaces, and our homes. There are many families of color who have an interest in having healthy conversations regarding drugs as it relates to profit vs abuse. There is an interest in being a part of the changes taking place throughout the world regarding legal sales, education, and being proactive in protecting our bodies, families, and communities from drug abuse. It is imperative that families open up about what peer pressure really looks like for young adults as well as for parents in discussing this topic. We hope you enjoy everything shared in this episode as much as we did!

Karimah is a mother, wife, ELA teacher, and great friend. Samad is a rising senior at Morehouse College.

*The Noble family motto: “I’ve got your back.” “Together we’re strong.”

*Shirts: MXGM Black Control of Black Lives shirt & Camp Pumziko Shirt (visit cadnational.org)

Our household conversations about drugs don’t commonly include touching on the topic of drug use within certain faith practices and how that differs or is similar to recreational drug use. Being open to this discussion may help your young adult or even the parents to navigate the conversation with ease. It’s also important to include in your conversation what ways social trends have an impact on one’s view or usage of drugs either in a religious or recreational setting. We hope you enjoy this conversation!

*Product advertised in this episode: IWI Fresh BODY oil. Visit iwifresh.com

When we communicate with our sons, it’s inevitable that conflict will arise. One of us may become frustrated with the tone, lack of a clear explanation offered, and other things that cause frustration. Strategies to work through that frustration isn’t a one size fits all type of deal. It’s important that you and your son have identified and tried your own strategies before your frustration leads to conflicts that cause harm. And as we all continue to grow in our mother/son relationships we will also need to discuss our plans to adapt to change as it relates to how we communicate with each other.

In this episode, our first guests, Sudani & her son Qasim offer insight on their strategies for Resolving Conflict, Avoiding Tension and different ways to Adapt to Change. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

*Shirts advertised in this episode: WeBuyBlack short-sleeved shirt. (visit webuyblack (dot com)

Communication whether verbal or non-verbal is something that happens on a consistent basis in our lives. When mothers and sons communicate, they can face breakdowns and breakthroughs if they are committed to using healthy strategies as well as identifying any barriers that may exist in their communication. As we grow in our relationships, the importance of checking in with each other is vital to maintaining good communication. In this episode, Nafees and Jaasmeen offer healthy conversation starters to set the stage, strategies to be an effective listener, and the importance of checking in with each other.  We hope that you enjoy! 

*Shirts advertised in this episode: Fantastic Negrito ‘The Last Days of Oakland 2016’ tour shirt. Visit fantasticnegrito (dot com) for more information on this shirt and artist.

Continuing the very necessary conversation on mental health for mental health awareness month. This episode focuses on the self-esteem and the impact music has on mental health.

Just as many adults may suffer from self-esteem issues, it should be no surprise that young men & their Mamas deal with this issue as well. Discussing you and your son’s methods for keeping your self-esteem in a good space is powerful and allows for healthy mental health support.

It’s also important to understand how music may be impacting your mental health. Music can be used as a tool to heal when we are aware of it acting as a healing factor in our overall mental health as well as any ways music may cause negative triggers that may be harming that health. We hope you enjoy this episode and our discussion on the topic.

Happy & healthy mental health awareness month!

*Artist’s work advertised in this episode: Nafees, multi-media artist: @dangerouskimchi (IG) & his homeboy Zuri Rios, fashion designer @taavirue. Follow these two young men who use art as a healing tool in support of their mental health on IG.