Binchtopia
By Julia Hava & Eliza McLamb
BinchtopiaMay 11, 2021
Girlbossing Too Close to the Sun
In this episode, the ladies break down multi level marketing businesses, how they prey on the loneliness of women, and explain why they’re basically all cults. Digressions include why men need to stop overstaying their welcome, the rich cosplaying as poors, and a special birthday astrology reading for a listener. Merch: propfront.com/binchtopia. Patreon: patreon.com/binchtopia
Baseless Claims (w/ Allegra Chapman) *TEASER*
Mommy's Little Miserable Existence
The ladies discuss the abject horrors of domestic life and explain why your moms are so sad all the time. Digressions include our gynecological updates, Joan Didion’s iconery, and the OnlyFans rebrand. Patreon: patreon.com/binchtopia Merch: propfront.com/binchtopia
Eliza's Existential Question Hour *TEASER*
In this special bonus episode, Eliza chats with her college bestie, religious scholar Kate Twomey, about spiritual materialism, psychedelics, the whitewashing of eastern religion, higher self alignment, and much more. The full episode is available at patreon.com/binchtopia. Merch is available at propfront.com/binchtopia
My Twin Won't Stop Posting Hole. *UNLOCKED*
In this unlocked Patreon bonus episode, the ladies use their genius, powerful minds to review some r/AmITheAsshole submissions. Patreon: patreon.com/binchtopia. Merch: propfront.com/binchtopia
This Murder Was Sponsored By HelloFresh
In this episode (which is unfortunately not sponsored by HelloFresh) the ladies unpack our culture’s obsession with true crime. They explore why women love it, the ethical dilemmas associated, and how some of you freaks want to fuck the Columbine shooters. Plus, a surprise guest! Support us on Patreon patreon.com/binchtopia. Buy our merch at propfront.com/binchtopia
My Twin Won't Stop Posting Hole. *TEASER*
In this episode, the ladies use their genius, powerful minds to review some r/AmITheAsshole submissions. Listen to the full episode at patreon.com/binchtopia
Panic! At the Gender Performance
In another theory episode, Julia breaks down Judith Butler’s concept of gender performance. Digressions include Harley’s rise to fame, BBL community updates, and Jeff Bezos’ unfortunate return from space.
Heterosexuality Is a Trauma Response
In a special episode, Eliza uses her incomplete Gender Studies degree to give a crash course on Adrienne Rich's theory of compulsory heterosexuality. Digressions include Julia's stint in the tuberculosis unit, why men are afraid to get their balls checked out, and how to let your female friends know you love them. Patreon: patreon.com/binchtopia. Merch: propfront.com/binchtopia. Honor Mat George's memory by donating to glsen.org or operationbreakthrough.org.
To All The Boys I've Banged Before *TEASER*
In an episode that could never not be paywalled for personal and professional reasons, the ladies rank their complete and chronological lists of sexual partners -- the good, the bad, and the Geminis. Find the full episode at patreon.com/binchtopia. Find merch at propfront.com/binchtopia
My Close and Personal Friend, Beyoncé
In this episode, the ladies dissect celebrity culture and the concept of parasocial besties. Digressions include the horrors of pregnancy, why stalking was legal until the 90’s, and how Madison Beer saved our lives.
How to Pop Your Chrussy in a God Honoring Way
In this deep dive on Godly Wives, the ladies discuss the history of Godly wifehood, what it takes to be one, our contemporary Godly idols, and the tradwives' twisted relationship with history. Digressions include the movement to let Sha'Carri smoke weed, YoungLife trauma, and a merch reveal! Merch is available at propfront.com/binchtopia. Bonus content including extra episodes, reading lists, and livestreams is available at patreon.com/binchtopia
Drunk Witchstory *TEASER*
To celebrate 666 patrons, the ladies get tipsy and tell the tales of two historical witches, Catherine Deshayes and Ursula Shipton, in front of a live studio audience. To hear the full episode along with other bonus episodes, reading lists, and more, go to patreon.com/binchtopia
I Can't Believe It's Not Bread!
In a round-up of cultural commentary, the ladies discuss the Bo Burnham special, Britney's testimony, the end of The Kardashian reign, and much more. Digressions include a look into Subway's unethical and inedible practices, Julia's beef with the Evangelicals, and why mommy vlog TikTok is canceling Eliza.
Flewed Out For Teen Torture
The ladies unpack the Troubled Teen Industry, from its hippie cult origins to the money laundering scheme it is today. Digressions include an explanation as to why both girlies are so hungover, our vocal fry haters, and how some of you need to parent better.
Juulspiracy
The ladies tackle the new-age nicotine epidemic with a discussion about the history of cigarettes, why Marlboro was #ForTheBoys, and how Juul made addiction cool again. Digressions include a review of Lorde's emotionally stable single, life updates from your mommies, and an enticing offer for anyone who can crack Eliza's cigarette habit.
All Tangents *TEASER*
Consider this episode an immersive experience. It's like you're sitting on our couch, a bong rip in (if you partake), listening to us gab about Jeff Bezos' space exploration, elementary school bullies, shoplifting tips, and everything in between. The full episode along with reading lists, newsletters, livestreams, and other bonus content is available at our Patreon, patreon.com/binchtopia
Binchtopia Says "Gay Rights!"
To kick off pride month, the ladies tell the stories of queer historical icons Felice Schragenheim, Lilly Wust, and Ralph Kerwineo. Digressions include a dip into the Kink At Pride Discourse, a Netflix-worthy mailbox moment, and some resources on where to put your coins this Pride month. Gay rights!
Alexis Ren Body Tutorial
The ladies discuss the history of eating disorders, the misconception of anorexia as "the white woman's disease," and the psychology behind pro-anorexia online spaces. Digressions include Brandy Melville's fatty-proof storefront, Kate Mossgate, and the burning question of whether or not Elijah Wood will wear wigs.
Patreon Loveline *TEASER*
The ladies take questions from the binchies about situationships, "intellectual" men, queer dating, and more for the first Patreon loveline. The full episode is available at patreon.com/binchtopia
Zarapocalypse
The ladies discuss the evolution of fast fashion and dissect the industry’s environmental and social impact. Digressions include some gynecology wisdom, House of Sunny’s reign of terror, and the return of cheugy discourse.
In My Old Hag Era
The ladies talk pedophilic beauty standards and grooming through the lens of Courtney Stodden's marriage, and dissect Susan Sontag's "The Double Standard of Aging." Digressions include the Mouseaccre, dads we wouldn't like to fuck, Leonardo DiCaprio's hatred of women over 24, and the benefits of being a spinster.
Incel Hell
The ladies take the red pill and delve into the history of Men's Rights Activism, Inceldom, and Pick-Up Artistry. Digressions include Valerie Solanis’ SCUM Manifesto, Kendall Jenner’s heartbreaking battle with anxiety, and Julia’s new arc as a Peloton influencer.
Pussy Riot: Why Men Hate Cats *TEASER*
The ladies welcome their new feline bestie and discuss the historical hatred of cats and its ties to sexism. Related and unrelated digressions include the Salem Witch Trials, shtetl life, anti-vaxxers, "cheugys" and Tiktok fatfishing. Full episode is available on patreon.com/binchtopia
Ted Bundy Was a Skims Baby
This week, the ladies got their little rat brains into a true crime/psychoanalysis crossover after watching the documentary "Crazy Not Insane." They discuss serial killers, dissociative identity disorder, Internal Family Systems therapy, and the unsettling Skims pop-up shop in The Grove.
Drunk Herstory: Traitor Peggy + Typhoid Mary *UNLOCKED*
*UNLOCKED FROM PATREON* In the first ever Drunk Herstory episode, Julia and Eliza tell the stories of two historical legendresses and #TheirImpact. Consider this an immersive experience, as the ladies get progressively more drunk as the episode continues.
The Simp-osium (w/ Michaela Okland)
In this super special episode, Julia talks with Twitter legendress Michaela Okland, creator of She Rates Dogs: The Podcast. The girlies discuss the phenomenon of simping (and the moral quandaries involved), online dating, and the male gaze. They also reflect on being famous internet man-haters, their people-pleasing behaviors, and whether or not Jesus was a short man.
Corporations Are People Too!
In this episode, the ladies explain how corporate advertising tricks your rat brain and advise you on how to break out of the matrix. Digressions include Khloe Kardashian’s most recent body reveal, the faults of the body positivity movement, and the mysterious joint a ghost left in our haunted apartment.
Drunk Herstory: Traitor Peggy and Typhoid Mary *TEASER*
The IV Leagues
The ladies discuss the sociological experiment that is American college, with digressions including Chet Hanks' white boy summer, our haunted apartment, and Eliza's college hangover from Hell/nonconsensual blood transfusion
I Don't Have Shit To Say To Anyone
Pick me... choose me... love me... we've all known her & we've all been her! This episode, the ladies talk about "pick me" behavior, discuss the implications of the term, and read some listener submissions about your most flopulous times as a pick me. Digressions include reading Kaitlin Bennett's tradwife tweets, Julia's brief stint as a second amendment stan, and Eliza's fourth grade Clay Aiken cosplay
Astral Projecting in Whole Foods
This week, the ladies discuss pop spirituality, twin flames, #manifesting, and the fourth dimension. Digressions include Eliza's nationwide Whole Foods ban and the consequences of having rancid vibes.
I Have To Be the Hottest Girl in the Ayahuasca Circle for Some Reason *TEASER*
In the third bonus episode, the ladies introduce our first ever guest, Kat Keene, for an EXTRA SPECIAL chat. Kat, certified Real Adult and fake big sister to Eliza, talks with us about her personal rejection of cultural scripts, romantic relationships, psychedelics, and tells the story of her first time taking Ayahuasca. Listen now on patreon.com/binchtopia
Cleopatra, Come to Brazil
This week, the girlies discuss Khloe Kardashian's new face, the ethics of plastic surgery, cyborgian aesthetics, bimbo feminism, and more! Also in this episode: an iconic phone cameo from Julia’s historian Father to discuss the smells of the 17th century and the power of Cleopatra’s nose.
It's Always Been March
In a COVID retrospective episode, the ladies review some historical and pop culture moments from our eternal March, and read some of your stories about how you got through it. Digressions include our dream blunt rotations, reading our quarantine diaries, and debating the existence of true good and evil
Refried Therapy *TEASER*
In the second bonus episode, the girlies chat about some general life updates, Rosamund Pike's #girlboss return in I Care A Lot, and eventually jump straight into some trauma talk to regurgitate our favorite therapeutic advice. The full episode is available at patreon.com/binchtopia
First Annual Girlboss Summit
This week, the ladies talk girlboss feminism and present deep-dives on their favorite respective #Girlbosses, Anna Delvey and Nellie Bly. Digressions include the war on millennials and heinous male tiktok actors.
Gaslightning McQueen
In a bit of a heavy hitter, the girlies discuss FKA twigs’ Elle interview, the psychology of abusive relationships, why some people heal by joking about their trauma, our own experiences with relationship abuse, and read submissions of yours.
Oops!...I'm a Ward of the State *TEASER*
In the first bonus episode, the girlies discuss the documentary 'Framing Britney Spears, the accompanying #FreeBritney movement, other wronged female icons, the ethics of involuntary commitment, and personal anecdotes of trying to get loved ones into treatment. The full episode is available at patreon.com/binchtopia
Love is a Six Car Pileup: The Valentine's Day Special
The only thing better than a hallmark holiday that commercializes the only altruistic experience we have left is an extra long episode to bitch about it! The girlies discuss #FreeBritney, bell hooks, MORE rat psychology, attachment theory, and read some of your submissions about your worst v-day experiences
The Self Care Industrial Complex
Nooo don't be depressed ur so valuable to the economy aha
Honey, I Monetized the Kids
This week, the ladies discover that We Live In A Society..... they discuss the Stonk market, mommy vloggers, the panopticon, rat psychology, and generally lament on how the internet has fried all of our brains.
Call Her Binchy
All about sex! This week, the ladies discuss Armie Hammer's cannibal sexts, Mia Khalifa's career after porn, Call Her Daddy feminism, and the sex positivity movement. We also share stories from our own personal sexual awakenings, and listen to a few of yours!
Chit Chat, Coup, & Chill
The ladies usher in 2021 with a chatty episode about our impending national doom, Bean Dad, taxidermy, and reflections on 2020. New year same apocalypse, baby!
Anatomy of a Flop
All about flops! The ladies discuss flopulous celebrity breakups, eras, and personal relationships, and respond to some listener mail to decide if they should drop the flops in their love lives. Digressions include why we shouldn't worry about what's in the vaccine, revolutionary LARPers, and Margot Robbie, who doesn't have sh*t to say to anyone
Welcome to Binchtopia
In the introductory episode, the girlies discuss male TikTok poets, the ethics of tranquilizing orphans, Foucault, and the social politics of chickens (do they have brains btw????)