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CAOS

CAOS

By Alan Sharland
Communication, Conflict Resolution, Conflict Coaching, Conferences, Conversation, Complaints, Community, Creativity...And Other Stuff..including many other topics that arise from the world of Mediation and Conflict Resolution Support.

Alan Sharland is Director of CAOS Conflict Management in London, UK. He has been a Mediator since 1994 and now also trains Mediators and Conflict Coaches in skills that help people respond creatively to their unresolved conflicts - in the community, the family, the workplace, with organisations.

CAOS - Promoting Mindful Communication, Growth Through Conflict
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ANGER IS NATURAL! It is a Source of Energy for Useful Change! This Podcast Addresses How to use Anger Constructively, not Destructively!
This podcast explores and distinguishes between what helps anger to be acknowledged and then used constructively to create useful change and what prevents that possibility when it is used destructively towards vandalism, abuse and violence. It leads to 6 main points about how to use our anger constructively rather than be ‘taken over’ by it and misdirect it towards destructive actions.    This podcast was inspired by terrorist and tragic events in London and Manchester in May/June 2017  including the Grenfell Tower fire in West London, and the different ways of responding to these events shown by different members of the community, media and politicians.    The aim of the podcast is to help listeners reflect on their intentions for how to use their anger and to direct it towards aims that benefit everyone rather than continue and escalate the personal criticisms and even violence, abuse and destruction that can sometimes follow such events.   If you would like further support for asking questions in the way described in the podcast, please see this video on the use of effective open questions that support conflict resolution: https://youtu.be/A8l1x9Qn1b0   Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict   Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com    Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 26 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland If you would like Conflict Coaching via Skype or FaceTime, please contact Alan via this webpage: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching.html Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com Books and ebooks: The Simple Effective Skills of Conflict Resolution e-book https://www.communicationandconflict.com/conflict_resolution_skills.html   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
26:00
September 9, 2020
HOW OUR LANGUAGE CAN ENTRENCH US in a VICTIMHOOD MINDSET or it can HELP US TO RELEASE OURSELVES FROM IT!
In this podcast, Alan explores the ways in which a 'victimhood mindset' can become established within us if we don't stop to consider how we speak about our difficult situations. It will often be that simple changes in how we say things....developing more 'mindful communication'....will help us to review how we are seeing our difficult situations and in turn change how we are dealing with them in ways that feel more personally powerful, more active and from less of a position of victimhood.   See the video of this podcast at this link: https://youtu.be/Z7rTP-HLA_Q The video Alan refers to later in the podcast about a quote by Eckhart Tolle can be found at this link: Contemplations on Conflict: ECKHART TOLLE - ON AN UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL, YOU DO NOT WANT POSITIVE CHANGE https://youtu.be/Whb4Mnik3Ys   Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland Alan's book 'How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All' provides further insight into the ways in which mediation, conflict coaching and particular management approaches to workplace disputes can enable more effective resolution of those disputes.  https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 If you would like Conflict Coaching via Skype or FaceTime, please contact Alan via this webpage: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching.html   Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/   Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS Intro/outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
32:24
August 13, 2020
WHY MOST WORKPLACE BULLYING + HARASSMENT POLICIES DON'T WORK + HOW THEY COULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE!
In this podcast, also available as a video on youtube, Alan outlines what he sees as the 6 main flaws that occur in most 'bullying and harassment' policies which lead to inevitable frustration and ineffectiveness as a response to bullying and also in some cases to harassment. He then goes on to detail the reasons why these are significant flaws and the ways in which such policies can be much improved - including the greater effectiveness and clarity that would arise if there were separate policies for bullying and for harassment in recognition of their different legal statuses.   See the video of this podcast at this link: https://youtu.be/smoWRKWIQbY Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others.   He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk  Alan's book 'How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All' provides further insight into the ways in which mediation, conflict coaching and particular management approaches to workplace disputes can enable more effective resolution of workplace disputes.  https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316   If you would like Conflict Coaching via Skype for FaceTime, please contact Alan via this webpage: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching.html  Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland If you are looking for consultancy and support in relation to developing more considered, effective bullying and harassment policies, please contact Alan via this webpage: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/enquiry-page.html   Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  https://www.communicationandconflict.com    BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316   A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221   CREDITS  Intro/outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200  
45:28
March 9, 2020
The Illusion of Bullying, The Reality of Harassment
In this podcast, Alan talks about the 'illusion' of bullying where a common difficulty for people having difficult relationship challenges at work is that if they wish to prove it is bullying  it "...is like a ghost, we may think we have seen it, but if we try to pin it down in order to prove it exists we find ourselves clutching at thin air." Investigations into bullying allegations commonly fail to come to a conclusion and while they continue and also at their inconclusive end, the people involved experience various emotional and psychological challenges and will often be signed off work as a result of diagnosed stress. The usual processes involved in investigating bullying leave those affected feeling passive and powerless to have any influence over their situation. This arises predominantly because no legal definition of bullying exists and so any attempts to ascertain whether it has occurred or not are thwarted by the subjectivity of the situation. This leads to accusations of a cover-up or a white wash or conspiracy but in fact it is due to the fundamentally ineffective and unworkable attempt to respond to bullying in the same way as harassment is responded to. But harassment IS legally defined and so proving its existence is not like 'proving you have seen a ghost', it is real and observable and with sufficient evidence, a claim of harassment can more easily and effectively be proven.  Alan goes on to talk about various consequences of this confusion between the illusion of bullying and the reality of harassment and why bullying allegations need to be treated differently - to the extent that letting go of the very idea of 'bullying' in order to focus on more specific and useful descriptions of the difficult behaviours involved in any broken or difficult workplace relationship would be a more effective way of dealing with the situation. This is where mediation and conflict coaching and effective management practices are more suitable in that their focus is not on 'proving that bullying has occurred' and so that unnecessary detour can be avoided. Instead, those directly involved can play an active role in improving the situation through being supported to restore the broken relationship and create a new way of interacting that is more respectful, creative and productive than that which existed previously.  YouTube video by Lawyer about  Fair Work Commission https://youtu.be/wWzCj9jUaMA Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk If you would like Conflict Coaching via Skype for FaceTime, please contact Alan via this webpage: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching.html Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com BOOKS: How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
31:13
February 27, 2020
Avoid 'negative people' or 'energy vampires' and become agoraphobic and powerless instead!
There are many social media posts that advocate 'staying away from negative people' as a way of living life to the full and to achieve 'happiness'. In this video and podcast Alan talks about the many downsides to this approach to life that are not often considered in such suggestions, initially that simply to see someone as 'negative' is in itself 'negative' and so it would seem we then must have to stay away from ourselves! This self-contradiction or hypocrisy will then often lead to an approach to life where we persistently cut ourselves off from more and more. people as their inevitable human 'negativity' emerges in the relationship we have with them. Indeed some people reach a recognition that they have always cut ties with someone when they have felt upset as a consequence of the person's actions and as a consequence they have become isolated or even 'agoraphobic' with regard to going out and engaging with people in case they come across the growing number of people they see as 'negative' or 'energy vampires'.  The phrase 'energy vampire' is applied to people who are seen as 'sucking the life out of us' as if anyone has that capacity and, again, ignores our own part in any such experience that if someone shares a personal difficulty they are having with us, we are worn out by it when we feel we have to 'fix' them as a consequence or 'take on their burden' when simply listening without that self-created expectation is more healthy both for the person experiencing difficulty and for us in that we can listen without feeling we have to take over and carry the difficulty the person is communicating about for them! The sense of 'life being sucked out of us' is a misinterpretation as that is, of course, impossible, but if we feel tired from the listening to someone speaking about their life challenges it will be because we are trying to take on something we have no power to do and so we are tiring ourselves out by doing this. They are not 'energy vampires' we are trying to 'rescue' them and control something we have no control over....that will inevitably be tiring.  This is the article by Nikki Sapp that Alan refers to in the podcast: https://fractalenlightenment.com/32288/life/how-to-find-yourself-through-your-perception-of-others Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk If you would like Conflict Coaching via Skype for FaceTime, please contact Alan via this webpage:  https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching.html Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com BOOKS written by Alan: How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS  Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200 Images from www.pixabay.com and www.unsplash.com 
24:43
February 13, 2020
Why Conflict Resolution Does Not Need AGREEMENT - But it may be a side effect...
In this podcast Alan discusses a frequent misperception that conflict resolution has to involve agreement when there are various situations he has seen through his work as a mediator and conflict coach, and in life outside of those processes, where conflict has been resolved without any need for agreement. It is possible to resolve conflict through being able to 'respectfully and creatively disagree' and indeed this is what we all do each day anyway in our personal and working lives - we just do it so easily we don't even recognise it has happened. When a conflict has become stuck or entrenched or is repeatedly occurring there can be a belief that in order for it to be resolved then there needs to be 'agreement' reached on different things. Alan discusses why this is a misperception and a myth that can even make things worse and more difficult if not questioned.  Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com BOOKS written by Alan: How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
33:23
January 22, 2020
Using Mediation in Complaints - NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student Complaints and others
In this podcast Alan discusses the use of mediation in a range of different areas of complaints. He focuses on the 3 types of complaint he has provided mediation in as well as more general considerations about complaints systems and the ways in which mediation can be useful in helping to resolve complaints where the normal procedures have not proven satisfactory and conclusive.  Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com BOOKS written by Alan: How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
36:54
January 15, 2020
It's Not You It's Me!...No Actually it IS YOU! ....But Really.....It Just Is!
This podcast looks at the journey that can happen in any relationship, whether personal or at work where a difficult feeling or experience starts to occur and we look to allocate 'cause' or 'blame' for it. At first our impulse may be to look to ourselves with negative judgements and criticisms but in many ways that makes it even more likely that when we can't find a clear cause within ourselves we react strongly with the suggestion the 'cause' or 'blame' is to be allocated in someone else. This need to identify an individual whether ourselves or another for a difficult situation arising is the basis for many unresolved conflicts. Often the difficult feeling will arise simply because something has changed in our life circumstances and we look to explain it as being about 'us' or 'them' rather than it just 'is' as a consequence of the infinite number of things that can change in our daily experience and the fact that we sometimes struggle to accommodate those changes.  Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 26 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management trainer and consultant. Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com Subscribe to the CAOS podcast on Anchor at:  https://anchor.fm/caotica  or on iTunes at: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/caos/id1492578653 TRAINING: To train as a Mediator in the CAOS model: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html   To train as a Conflict Coach in the CAOS model: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html BOOKS:   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
25:07
January 12, 2020
HOW TO HAVE USEFUL, PRODUCTIVE COMMUNICATION WITH SOMEONE YOU DISLIKE, DESPISE OR EVEN HATE!
In this podcast, Alan discusses the common ways in which difficult discussions become unproductive and repetitive and, in contrast, how those discussions can become productive and useful if we are aware of the pitfalls of using personal labels within our own contribution to the communication.  When we can see how to take more control of our part in discussions  with others whether face-to-face, by email and even on social media, we can optimise them to serve a useful purpose in helping us to move forward in a challenging situation. This arises when we develop more mindful communication in order to respond to conflict in a way that helps to learn and change and grow.  Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 26 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant. Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com Subscribe to the CAOS podcast on Anchor at:  https://anchor.fm/caotica  or on iTunes at: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/caos/id1492578653 BOOKS  How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
27:06
January 8, 2020
How Universities Make Use of Mediation and Conflict Coaching
In this podcast, Alan describes some of the many ways in which university communities make use of mediation, conflict coaching and other conflict resolution support processes. Alan has worked with universities since 2007, starting with student complaints mediation and since then moving on to various other areas of disputes within universities including staff/staff workplace disputes and group disputes as well as the other areas described within the podcast and video.  For more information about the use of mediation in universities visit this webpage:  https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/university-mediation.html If Peer-to-Peer resolution support training is of interest to you please visit these webpages: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/student-accommodation-conflict.html https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/student-group-work-conflict.html Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others.  He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk   Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland   Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/    Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com    BOOKS written by Alan: How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316    A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221    CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
20:31
January 5, 2020
CREATIVITY FROM CONFLICT: BEING AT EASE IN CONFLICT SITUATIONS
As we go into a new decade with much division and disagreement from the last few years, what can we understand about conflict? How can we become at ease with conflict and see it as an opportunity for learning, change and growth?   In this video and podcast Alan looks at some positive potential consequences of engaging with conflict if we can be more accepting of its inevitability in life.   Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant.    Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland   Alan refers to an article in the podcast which expands upon using conflict as an opportunity for learning, connection and insight and this can be found at this link:  https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140421222449-47950092-conflict-is-an-opportunity-use-it/   Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/    Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com    Subscribe to the CAOS podcast on Anchor at:  https://anchor.fm/caotica  or on iTunes at: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/caos/id1492578653   BOOKS  How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316    A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221    CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
24:54
January 1, 2020
Contemplations on Conflict: Byron Katie - The 4 Questions and Turnaround of The Work
CONTEMPLATIONS ON CONFLICT - Alan Sharland introduces quotes, poems and other sayings relating to conflict and gives his thoughts on how they can be interpreted and their significance to his work as a mediator and conflict coach and also personally. If you have your own thoughts about the sayings or approaches he 'contemplates', please share them in the comments section below.    The Work by Byron Katie  The 4 Questions of 'The Work' by Byron Katie  1. Is it true?  2. Is it absolutely true?  3. How do you react when you think that thought?  4. Who would you be without that thought?   The Turnaround   In this video and podcast Alan gives his understanding of the process of 'The Work' which has been a significant influence for him personally and in his work as a mediator and conflict coach.    Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant.    Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland   Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/    Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com    Subscribe to the CAOS podcast on Anchor at:  https://anchor.fm/caotica   ..or on iTunes at: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/caos/id1492578653   BOOKS  How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316    A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221    CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
29:25
December 29, 2019
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS 'BODY LANGUAGE'. Why The Idea it Exists Obstructs Effective Communication!
There are many suggestions in books and videos that ‘body language’ exists, but in many ways it is a ‘fantasy idea’ that means we think we know what other people are thinking and feeling - and so we don’t have to take the risk of asking them! Unfortunately it is usually used to ‘confirm’ our negative beliefs about people and this makes sense when you recognise that when we think we are ‘reading body language’ we are really just projecting our assumptions and biases and stories on to others.   The famous ‘Mehrabian Myth’ is an example of where the belief in the idea of body language has trampled over the real point of Mehrabian’s research and his results to come to the false representation of his findings to say that ‘Communication is 7% the words, 38% tone of voice and 55% facial expression’. This is completely wrong as a representation of his findings but such is the belief in the idea of body language the myth has gained traction.  In the following link after 23 minutes through the recording, is an interview with Professor Mehrabian himself who talks about how his research is commonly misquoted and his thoughts about that. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/b00lyvz9 Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk   Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland   Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/    Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com    Subscribe to the CAOS podcast on Anchor at:  https://anchor.fm/caotica   or on iTunes at: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/caos/id1492578653   BOOKS   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316    A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221    CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
17:05
December 28, 2019
The Personal Challenges of Being a Mediator and their Potential Impact on the Mediation Process
In this video and podcast Alan looks at the personal challenges that arise from being a mediator and whether the mediator's approach to these challenges is to default to a 'fixing' approach to the dispute between participants or whether they can stick to the discipline of the process and continue to provide a creative space in which participants can create their own answers to their dispute, complaint or other difficult situation.    Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others. He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk   Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland   Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/    Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com    Subscribe to the CAOS podcast on Anchor at:  https://anchor.fm/caotica   Podcast on iTunes at: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/caos/id1492578653   BOOKS  How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316    A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221    CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200
46:03
December 27, 2019
A GUIDED MEDITATION AND VISUALISATION TO HELP YOU USE YOUR ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY
This is a Guided Meditation and Visualisation that helps you use your anger constructively. We can sometimes express our anger destructively through abuse, criticism or even violence. This is more likely to happen when we direct our anger towards trying to control things we can't control. This visualisation and meditation will help you use your anger constructively towards creating positive change by focusing on what you can control.    Listen through to the end, or take a break and pause the video at times to reflect more deeply than the podcast allows and even to take notes. If you prefer to watch a video of this which has the text shown on screen please go to the YouTube video of the meditation.  Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Connect with Alan on LinkedIn  Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Music: Still by Bob Holroyd, from album Fluidity and Structure:  Ice and Sand from the YouTube free music library
17:18
December 19, 2019
GROUP MEDIATIONS FOR TEAM CONFLICT - WHAT HAPPENS, HOW THEY WORK...
In this podcast Alan describes what happens when he provides mediation for groups, the approach he takes, common experiences, why group mediations have the potential for more movement and creativity than 2-person mediations. He also discusses common misconceptions about what might happen in a group mediation and why the issues over which the mediation is originally referred will often not be the issues that the group feels are the most significant or important to deal with.   Find out more information about team and group mediation available in the London, UK area.  Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman:
32:34
December 17, 2019
ALTERNATIVE DISPUTE RESOLUTION (ADR) - in what way is it 'ALTERNATIVE'? The unique approach of MEDIATION!
In this podcast Alan scans through some of the processes that come under the heading of 'alternative dispute resolution' (ADR) and looks further into why mediation is a unique alternative within that category of processes because it is a non-adversarial process.   This makes it particularly suitable for some types of dispute while adversarial processes (such as arbitration, adjudication and going to court) are appropriate for other types of dispute.  Knowing which process is suitable for which kind of situation will mean better use will be made of all of these processes. Often there is confusion about this and so processes which are inappropriate to the situation are attempted but lead to frustration because it cannot provide a useful and satisfactory outcome for those involved. Additionally, processes which didn't used to be called 'mediation' and which are still adversarial in nature are now having that label attached to them, leading to ambiguity about the role of the mediator and the process concerned. Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman:
20:47
December 12, 2019
What is 'impasse' in mediation? Does it exist? A Podcast for mediation practitioners and interested others....
Mediator-diagnosed impasse: If impasse is assumed by the mediator(s) to be present when not actually stated by the participants this can be based on an expectation or ‘requirement’ of participants to ‘perform’ in a preconceived manner for the benefit of the mediator(s). (Are they smiling, have they come to ‘agreement’, have they made an action plan, can it be put down on paper?) Indeed, the participants may not be stuck at all, just not doing/saying/deciding what the mediator thinks they ‘should’ be. As a consequence, a tug-of-war ensues - caused by the mediator(s) and so the situation does indeed become stuck! A perceived going-round-in-circles may be simply a revisiting of an idea or issue, perhaps a few times until it feels more comfortable and makes more sense to the participant(s). If the mediator tries to stop that or do something to prevent it being spoken of repeatedly it may mean the participants never get a chance to come to terms with it in a way they feel comfortable with. To think we, as mediators, perceive impasse when not explicitly stated by the participants can be a great indication of the extent to which we are wanting to control or direct or ‘rescue’ the people involved in a dispute rather than help them to create their own answers. This allows us to adjust our practice accordingly if we remain mindful about such experiences. Participant-stated impasse:  If participants state for themselves that they think they are in impasse it can simply be an honest and vulnerable openness about their perceptions and feelings about their situation at a given time in the discussion. There is no reason why that cannot quickly change without the mediator having to do anything ‘special’ to ‘make’ it happen. Sometimes an expression of impasse/feeling stuck can be just like stopping for a rest on a long journey to look around and see where we are rather than feel we have to keep ‘moving forward’, particularly where we might be a little unsure about where we are going and how we will get there, wherever ‘there’ is. On that basis a summary from a mediator of what has been discussed so far without any attempt to direct the way forward can be supportive as the participants can, while resting on their journey, be helped to look back on the places (issues, topics etc.) they have visited so far. The willingness to express a feeling of stuckness or impasse is, in many ways a gift to the mediation process as it opens up new possibilities for questions that can be asked in relation to that feeling or expression that did not exist before. Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman:
18:58
December 10, 2019
WHY MEDIATION IS VOLUNTARY AND COMPULSORY MEDIATION WOULD BE INEFFECTIVE!
Mediation is a voluntary process. Its effectiveness comes from the fact that participants are present with an intention of trying to create a different way forward in their situation. They are not present because they 'have to be'. This is crucial to any outcomes being both appropriate and sustainable because the participants will create what works for them and not what a third party imposes on them.    Alan presents his interpretation of 3 different perspectives that often propose the idea of making mediation a compulsory process: The 'system-led' view, the 'practitioner-led' view and the 'moral' view. A feature of all of these views is that they make the wishes and context of the participants secondary to other interests and as a consequence there will be little incentive for participants to engage with the process and a greater likelihood that the mediator will take a 'fixing' or directive approach to the process and as such it will be little different to the adversarial processes that mediation is designed to be an alternative to.    Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK. Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman:
23:12
December 4, 2019
HOW WE MAKE OURSELVES POWERLESS AND STUCK IN CONFLICT AND WHAT WE CAN DO TO CHANGE!
In this podcast Alan talks about the ways in which we can convince ourselves we are powerless and stuck in conflicts we are involved in by focusing on the things we can't control and overlooking what we can. We will often use 'personal' comments towards people and critical labels about their ideas and actions which means we make it more likely they will focus on those and react against them than focus on the issue we are having a problem over.  These links are referred to in the podcast in case you wish to explore them further:  Principle 1 - That we treat each other with respect Principle 7 - That we challenge or explore the behaviour not the person LinkedIn article - Customer Service - A Conflict Analysis:  Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK.   Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman:
24:51
October 30, 2019
IN A DIFFICULT SITUATION? DO YOU REALLY WANT AN APOLOGY? Do you risk remaining stuck while you wait for one?
In this podcast, which is the audiofile of the YouTube video of the same name,  Alan asks some questions in relation to having an apology in a difficult situation or for a past experience. What does it mean to you to have one? Do you 'demand' one? What if you don't get it? What if you do? How real and genuine does it feel if you had to demand it? Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK.  This video explores something that often comes up in dispute situations but which can mean different things to those involved depending on the circumstances and what led to an apology, if given and what can mean people remain stuck while waiting for one if it doesn't happen.  Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman:
18:58
September 21, 2019
WHY BULLYING INVESTIGATIONS DON'T WORK! Using the 'ACAS Guide to Bullying + Harassment' to explain why not!
Using the ACAS Guide to bullying and harassment at work, this podcast, which is the audio file from a YouTube video of a similar title looks at the reasons why investigations into bullying allegations will almost always fail to reach a conclusion (less than 1%) and so all involved will feel let down, frustrated and even resentful, often leading to suggestions of conspiracy and cover-up when that is not the cause.  Here is the ACAS Guide to bullying and harassment at work referred to in the podcast:  Here is the ACAS Policy Discussion paper referred to in the video: Alan also explains why it isn’t useful to speak of bullying and harassment in the same breath as harassment is legally defined while bullying isn’t and so to use the same approach to both is ineffective and leads to the many difficulties that arise when carrying out bullying investigations. Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years and in the last 10 years particularly he has provided mediation, conflict coaching and training in workplace dispute situations which invariably involve allegations of bullying.  If you are looking for consultancy and support in responding effectively to allegations of bullying that do not rely on an investigation but provide an alternative approach, please contact Alan via this webpage:  Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman:
47:58
September 20, 2019
Contemplations on Conflict 4 - Eckhart Tolle - ON A DEEPLY UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL, YOU DO NOT WANT POSITIVE CHANGE
"Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let it go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed, angry or hard-done by person. You will then ignore, deny or sabotage the positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon. It is also insane." Eckhart Tolle (2010). “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment”, p.189, New World Library CONTEMPLATIONS ON CONFLICT - Alan Sharland introduces quotes, poems and other sayings relating to conflict and gives his thoughts on how they can be interpreted and their significance to his work as a mediator and conflict coach and also personally. If you have your own thoughts about the sayings he 'contemplates', please share them in the comments section below. In this podcast, also available on youtube,  Alan discusses the relevance of this quote to his practice as a mediator and reflects on its significance in responding creatively to conflict. Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman:
18:34
September 7, 2019
A Guided Meditation and Visualisation to Help You Resolve Any Conflict in Your Life!
This is a Guided Visualisation to help you respond more effectively to conflict. It starts by asking you to reflect on the ways in which you are presently responding to your unresolved conflict and goes on to help you create new, self-supporting, effective ways of responding to the conflict.  Listen through to the end, or take a break and pause the podcast at times to reflect more deeply on your situation and even to take notes if you would find that helpful. Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 20 years and in this visualisation he distils his understanding of how people fail, and then succeed in responding effectively to the different interpersonal conflicts they experience at work, with their partners, in their families, with their neighbours. Step by step you are taken through an initial awareness of yourself and how you are affected by the conflict, through an opportunity to see if you are responding in either of the two ways that never resolve a conflict, then on into an opportunity, for yourself, to create more effective ways of responding.  This is the audio file from a YouTube video of the same title. Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict, and training people to work in such situations  during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach, trainer in these skills and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK If you are based in the UK and would like to train to be a Mediator or Conflict Coach, contact Alan via this link for more information. BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Music: Still by Bob Holroyd, from album Fluidity and Structure available on iTunes. 
33:07
September 5, 2019
RESCUER SYNDROME - HOW TO RECOGNISE THE SIGNS, to 'OWN' YOUR RESCUE FANTASIES - AND LET THEM GO!
We can all get drawn into trying to 'fix' people who have a difficulty of some kind. The problem with rescuing people in this way is that we do it out of an assumption that they are not capable of fixing things for themselves and so we try to 'take over' the problem for them and give them our fix.  There are many unfortunate consequences of doing this both for ourselves and for the other person, not least that we become caught up in something we have no control over and experience a lot of stress and frustration as a consequence. Stress and frustration brought upon ourselves by over-identification with another person's life situation - as if we are trying to live their life as well as our own. This can also become very difficult for the person we think we are 'helping'. It can prevent them from recognising their own capacities and power in their situation, it can feel very intrusive in ways that they may feel are unpleasant and it can lead to a breakdown in the relationship between ourselves and the other person because we become frustrated and dismissive towards them when they don't accept our 'fix' and 'great ideas'.  This podcast, taken from a video available on the Communication and Conflict YouTube channel,  goes through some of the many ways that rescuer syndrome can show up in our relationships whether in a personal or professional situation so that we can recognise it in ourselves and seek to lessen our rescuing and help our colleague or friend in difficulty to create their own answers to their situation. Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict, and training people to work in such situations  during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach, trainer in these skills and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK If you are based in the UK and would like to train to be a Mediator or Conflict Coach, contact Alan via this link for more information.  BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman:
24:12
September 3, 2019
Contemplations on Conflict 3: "The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory but progress" - Joseph Joubert
"The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory but progress." Joseph Joubert CONTEMPLATIONS ON CONFLICT - Alan Sharland introduces quotes, poems and other sayings relating to conflict and gives his thoughts on how they can be interpreted and their significance to his work as a mediator and conflict coach and also personally. If you have your own thoughts about the sayings he 'contemplates', please share them in the comments section below. In this podcast, also available on youtube,  Alan discusses the relevance of this quote to his practice as a mediator and reflects on its significance in responding creatively to conflict. Alan's videos are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK. Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel: Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: Visit the Communication and Conflict website: Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman:
25:26
August 26, 2019
Contemplations on Conflict 2: "Conflict is the beginning of consciousness." - Mary Esther Harding
CONTEMPLATIONS ON CONFLICT - Alan Sharland introduces quotes, poems and other sayings relating to conflict and gives his thoughts on how they can be interpreted and their significance to his work as a mediator and conflict coach and also personally. If you have your own thoughts about the sayings he 'contemplates', please share them in the comments section below.  "CONFLICT IS THE BEGINNING OF CONSCIOUSNESS" - Mary Esther Harding from her book 'The I and the Not-I: a Study in the Development of Consciousness' In this podcast, also available on youtube,  Alan discusses the relevance of this quote to his practice as a mediator and reflects on its significance in responding creatively to conflict.  Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management consultant in London and across the UK.  Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel:  Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page:  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:  Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict.  CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: 
24:29
August 21, 2019
Contemplations on Conflict 1 : "The Conflict Between Right and Wrong is the Sickness of the Mind"
CONTEMPLATIONS ON CONFLICT - Alan Sharland introduces quotes, poems and other sayings relating to conflict and gives his thoughts on how they can be interpreted and their significance to his work as a mediator and conflict coach and also personally. If you have your own thoughts about the sayings he 'contemplates', please share them.  In this podcast he considers a translation of  'Hsin-hsin Ming' by Seng-ts’an quoted in the book 'The Way of Zen' by Alan Watts The perfect way is without difficulty Save that it avoids picking and choosing. Only when you stop liking and disliking  Will all be clearly understood. A split hair’s difference,  And Heaven and Earth are set apart! If you want to get the plain truth, Be not concerned with right and wrong. The conflict between right and wrong  Is the sickness of the mind. Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management trainer and consultant.  Subscribe to the Communication and Conflict YouTube Channel:  Check out the Communication and Conflict Facebook page:  Visit the Communication and Conflict website:    Alan is Director of CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK BOOKS How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict.  CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: 
32:22
August 19, 2019
What is Conflict Coaching? What does the Coach do and what is the CAOS Model?
In Podcast 3, Alan Sharland describes what is involved in Conflict Coaching. What the Coach does, what clients come to discuss, how the process supports them in creating a better way forward in their difficult situation. Alan also discusses the 5-day course which Conflict Coaches attend in order to become a CAOS-trained Conflict Coach. Further details can be found at the link lower down. If you would like to purchase the book Alan has recently had published called: 'A Guide to Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution' - please see this link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 If you'd like to ask a question or make a comment about the content of any CAOS podcast please use this link to do so: www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/enquiry-page.html Please also feel free to request topics for future podcasts to cover on the topic of communication and conflict resolution. Alternatively, if listening via your Anchor app you can leave a voice message with your question/request/comment. Thanks for listening! If you like the music used on the podcast it is by Bob Holroyd - details here: Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: bobholroyd.com If you think others might find the podcast interesting please share it on your networks and if you like it please indicate that in the way available on the platform you hear it on. If you'd be interested in training to be a Mediator or Conflict Coach, check out the CAOS Conflict Management webpages that offer this to see when the next courses are available: Mediation training: www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html Conflict Coaching training: www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html
24:16
December 5, 2018
What is Mediation? What does a Mediator DO?
In Episode 2 from CAOS, Host Alan Sharland, Director of CAOS Conflict Management in London UK talks about what happens in a mediation, how it is designed as a process to help people create a better way forward in their difficult situation, whether that be a neighbour dispute, workplace dispute, family conflict, group dispute, complaints situation or other difficulty. He describes the 'mechanics' of what a mediator does to support people in creating their own answers to their difficult situation and why the mediator's role is not to 'fix' the situation for people but to support their communication and creativity in fixing it for themselves in whatever way works for them. Apologies that there are a few paper shuffles in the background from time to time! If you'd like to ask a question or make a comment about the content of any CAOS podcast please use this link to do so: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/enquiry-page.html Please also feel free to request topics for future podcasts to cover on the topic of communication and conflict resolution. Alternatively, if listening via your Anchor app you can leave a voice message with your question/request/comment. The next podcast will be about Conflict Coaching! Thanks for listening! If you like the music used on the podcast it is by Bob Holroyd - details here: Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: bobholroyd.com If you think others might find the podcast interesting please share it on your networks and if you like it please indicate that in the way available on the platform you hear it on. If you'd be interested in training to be a Mediator or Conflict Coach, check out the CAOS Conflict Management webpages that offer this to see when the next courses are available: Mediation training: www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html Conflict Coaching training: www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html
40:23
October 28, 2018
Welcome to CAOS - A Podcast about Communication and Conflict......And Other Stuff!
The very first episode of CAOS! This episode gives an introduction to the aims and intentions for the podcast, to the host Alan Sharland and to mediation and conflict coaching as processes that support the resolution of conflict. After that's done we'll look at the first topic.....What is Conflict? We'll look at the more common associations with conflict and then look at the way in which Mediation and Conflict Coaching 'sees' conflict - as an opportunity for learning, connection and insight. If you want to find out more about the exercise mentioned called '4-word build' you can find details at this link: www.communicationandconflict.com/4-word-build.html If you like the music used on the podcast it is by Bob Holroyd - details here: Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: bobholroyd.com If you think others might find the podcast interesting please share it on your networks and if you like it please indicate that in the way available on the platform you hear it on. Thanks for listening! If you'd be interested in training to be a Mediator or Conflict Coach, check out the CAOS Conflict Management webpages that offer this to see when the next courses are available: Mediation training: www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html Conflict Coaching training: www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html
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October 20, 2018