It's the Journey
By Carlo Pietro Sanfilippo
It's the JourneyAug 22, 2022
102: Reflecting on the Past Year as You Plan the Next
“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”
― Tony Robbins
It's easy to get overwhelmed this time of year as people who had amazing years, or want you to believe they did, start posting highlights. No matter what kind of year you had, this is a good time to pause and reflect.
In this episode I took some time to walk you through what I think about as I look at my year and begin to plan the next. This episode pairs well with my last one I did about goal setting. If you haven't seen that you I'd really recommend these two as a complimentary pair.
101: Goal Setting Strategy for the New Year
Please let me know what you think and as I move into my 4th season of this podcast, let me know what you'd like to hear more of!
Best of luck in your New Year and thanks for listening!
Cheers,
Carlo
101: Goal Setting Strategy for the New Year
“The ability to set goals and make plans for their accomplishment is the “master skill” of success. It is the single most important skill that you can learn and perfect. Goal-setting will do more to help you achieve the things you want in life than will anything else you've been exposed to.”
Brian Tracy
We're in the final month of 2023 and now is a great time to review your progress for this year and plan the next.
In this episode I took some time to explain the process I've used over the last 14 years. I've been studying goal setting since I graduated college. It was an important part of my personal life and my professional life as a former financial planner. I developed this process over the course of my career and it works.
So, if you are ready to build a plan that will move you steadily towards your dreams, this is the episode for you.
100: Still Following the Fun
I can't believe I've recorded 100 episodes!
This idea I had over 5 years ago that took a couple of years to come to fruition has been so fun and rewarding.
I've had the honor of sitting down with so many amazing and inspiring people to dive into their stories and wisdom.
On this Thanksgiving day I'm so grateful to all the people who have helped me, encouraged me, and said yes to joining me on the show.
I took some time in this episode to dive deeper into this.
Mentions:
Here's the language school that I've been attending during my time here in Italy that I mentioned during my show. Scuola Leonardo da Vinci ®
99: Chelsea Ritter-Soronen, Knowing and Living Her Why
I'm super excited to publish this 99th episode that is a conversation I had with one of my dearest friends and a truly inspiring human being, Chelsea Ritter-Soronen. Chelsea is the Sole Proprietor and Principal Artist of Chalk Riot, which is Washington D.C. based company with "an all-women mural crew specializing in vibrant pavement art, including ephemeral chalk art, “3D” illusionary and immersive works, and industrial roadway installations". She and her amazing team just celebrated their 10th year as a business!
In the time I've known Chelsea I've watched her grow Chalk Riot from a dream to company that is doing HUGE, complex, beautiful projects around the country.
This list of accomplishments and projects Chelsea manages is amazing.
There are so many life lessons in this episode. I know you'll love it.
Give Chalk Riot a follow on Instagram at: chalkriot
Follow Chelsea at: iamchelsea_art
Chalk Riot Website to learn more
Chelsea's Artist Website.
Find all her links in the profile sections of those acounts.
Check out her GATHER Artivism Fellow in Focus Fellowship.
98: Change Requires Courage
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
― Leo Tolstoy
Change can be very scary...I know. I fought it for many years trying hard to be the Carlo I thought I was supposed to be.
I built a world around me that supported and reinforced that version of me. Once I started changing, it upset that ecosystem.
So, along with dealing with my own fears, I had to deal with the fears, comments, and criticisms of others. I look at this now as a necessary part of the process that took me on a transformative journey to where I am right now...living from a back pack in Sicily.
Substack coming soon.
97: Updates on My Experiments with Minimalism, Studying Italian, and Life Itself
I just finished my 6th week in Italy and am taking a break with my studies to explore a little.
I took a break to share what I've learned so far and I shares some of the thoughts I've been chewing on as I explore. What I did not do, however, is comb my hair. :)
If you aren't following my travel Instagram you can see lots of what I'm seeing on carloz_adventures.
Check out my blog if you want more of the kinds of things I talk about here in a written format.
Last, if there are topics you want me to dive more deeply into please let me know. I get asked all the time how and why I'm doing what I'm doing and I'm trying my best to share what I can so you can live your dream.
96: Sarah Woodard Travels, Following Her Intrigue Around the World
This week I'm delighted to bring you Sarah Woodard. Sarah is an experienced solo traveler who has been to over 90 countries! I'm so grateful that she took time from her busy life to share her wisdom and stories on It's the Journey.
Sarah is a digital creator who shares her passion for travel on her Instagram Page sarahwoodardtravels along with tips and tricks to help you on your next adventure. There are so many lessons and life skills that we can learn from travel and adventure that are helpful in our every day life. In this episode we talked about:
- How important it is to have and follow our curiosity and intrigue.
- How important it is to just say yes sometimes and dive into what our heart is calling us towards. (I devoted a whole chapter to each of these in my book AfterLIFE, Waking Up From My American Dream)
- How following our dreams and facing our fears builds our confidence
- Tips and tricks for solo travelers from an absolute pro!
- How our actions and decisions impact the lives and destinies of those around us
- How we can vocalize our dreams to the most important people in our lives as we go through life so that no one is burying their dreams
We cover all this and more in this really fun episode.
Thank you for listening. Give Sarah's Instagram a follow and likes. I know you love her beautiful content and the sense of fun and joy she brings along as she shares her passion.
Follow It's the Journey wherever you enjoy podcasts. You can find all my information at CarloBlog.com.
95: Protect Your Energy and Confidence as You Pursue Your Dreams
It takes courage to set out to achieve the things we want to do, have, and be in our lives. It's easy to wreck our confidence if we don't take care to protect it.
In this episode I took some time to chat about this and expand on some of the ideas in my latest blog post on Substack. If you haven't seen that here's the link!
94: Moving Towards Our Dreams & Updates from Turin, Italy
This is my first episode I've recorded on the road since last year. I'm back in Italy again pursing my own dreams. This time instead of moving around so much, I'm settling in various places to to live and learn.
I have a few things I'm experimenting with for my life that I took some time to share here along with a few ideas from my most recent blog that I published on my substack. Find a preview of that here
Episode 93: Rachel Michelle, Learning to Listen to the Lessons Life Gives Us
In this episode I had a fun and insightful conversation with Psychologist Rachel Michelle.
Rachel PhD candidate working hard on her dissertation “Healing Women’s Health: An Intimate Depth Psychological Inquiry"
She took time out of her schedule to dive into topics that include:
- Discovering what we are meant to do
- Learning to suspend our fear and lean into suffering to see it as a teacher
- Learning to have Psychological Faith to look for the meaning in our suffering
- What is our shadow self?
- Finding our shadow in others
- What is Individuation?
- And her amazing insights as she works to bridge the gaps in Depth Psychology and Women's health.
Rachel is a delightful human being full of wisdom and useful insights. I'm so grateful she took time to share them here.
Follow her on Instagram at Your.Beautiful.Myth
Learn more about the work she is doing at The Pelvic Empowerment Movement Here.
Episode 92: Houses, Still, Eat Money
Because the curriculum in most of the educations system in the US omits practical tools and lessons to help us become financially literate, we often go through life making mistakes out of a lack of understanding. Housing cost cause people so much stress because of inaccurate assumptions that I hope to clear up here.
For additional thoughts on this check out my blog
Episode 91: Tonje Moe, To Pursue our Dream, We Must Listen to Our Dreams. An Artist's Journey
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
― C.G. Jung
I've spoken here and shared in my book what a powerful tool therapy was for me, especially what Carl Jung called Shadow Work, which Ken Wilber described as shining light into the recesses of our soul.
This week I was delighted to have a conversation with Tonje Moe about her experience with a form of art therapy that also helped her dive into her dreams to learn how to use them on her journey.
Tonje is an amazing artist from Norway who was named in the prestigious publication 100 Painters of Tomorrow in 2014, and has received numerous grants, awards, and public commissions. She shared a bit of her journey that has taken her from Norway to Scotland, Australia, and back again to her beautiful Norwegian homeland where she lives with her lovely family and creates magical art that is often inspired by her dreams.
This is a great episode to learn more about therapy, art therapy, dream analysis, and learning to listen to your dreams.
Follow Tonje's journey and see her art on instagram HERE. Give her a follow to see her beautiful work and inspiring journey!
Check out her website HERE.
Episode 90: Knowing What You Want, Thoughts and Exercises to Help You on Your Journey
“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what's left and live it properly. What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness.”― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Figuring out or even rediscovering your dreams that you may have buried is one of the most important things you can do with your life. I took time in this episode to share some tools I've learned that have helped me on my journey.
Here is the link to a full blog article and show notes.
Episode 89: Exploring Positive Psychology with Marsha J. McCartney, Ph.D.
“Success requires persistence, the ability to not give up in the face of failure. I believe that optimistic explanatory style is the key to persistence.”
― Martin E.P. Seligman
The news and social media are awash with negativity. It seems everyone is telling us what's wrong, who is bad, who is at fault, and why we should be angry and scared.
It's overwhelming sometimes.
So, this week I am excited to bring a conversation I had to to you with Dr. Marsha J. McCartney. Dr. McCartney is a professor of Psychology at the University of Kansas who specializes in the field of positive psychology. In this episode we touched on the following:
- what is positive psychology?
- the importance of accepting our range of emotions as part of the human experience
- tools you can used to help you on your journey
- books that might be helpful like
- Learned Optimism" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">Learned Optimism, Martin Seligman, PhD
- The How of Happiness" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">The How of Happiness
Thank you so much for listening.
If you enjoy the work I'm doing, please consider a cup of coffee priced monthly subscription to get access to additional essays I've been working on.
Learn more HERE.
Episode 88: Happy 4th, Declare Your Own Independence to Build the Life You Want
"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
Steve Jobs
On this 4th of July I wanted to take some time to talk about how important it is for us to take the time and energy it takes to define our hopes, dreams, visions and to make a plan that takes us in the direction of that dream.
It's easy to feel overwhelmed if you are at all paying attention to the news so we have to make an effort to look inward at what we want and what we can do about it.
Than you for listening.
Episode 87: We Can Find Our Path In Unexpected Ways, And it Doesn't Have to Be an Expensive College
Last week I had the pleasure of sitting down with Ellen Green Niedringhaus. During our conversation she told me the story about how a yoga class sparked a passion in her that altered her path and journey. She followed that passion and it lead her to becoming a yoga teacher, studio owner and entrepreneur.
I've witnessed this so many times in my life and at a personal level. To me it highlights the absurdity of the pressure that is put children when it comes to college. This pressure along with a lack of skills taught around self knowledge, skills assessment, career choices, and financial literacy lead millions to making poor emotionally driven decisions that trap people in a lifetime of debt and often unfulfilling careers.
This week I dove into thoughts around this that will hopefully be helpful to anyone who might making life choices around school and careers or maybe anyone who is helping a child, grandchild, niece, nephew or even students make these impactful life assessments and decisions.
Highlights:
- Help kids or yourself think about what problems you want to solve versus what "you want to be".
- Think about the kind of income that is even possible from a field of study and possible career and asses both the cost to obtain the education as well as potential earnings.
- Explore all options to keep debt low like local schools, taking longer to study while working.
- If you find yourself with student loans make a plan on how you'll get rid of them. Financial planning is profoundly helpful in making big decisions around budgeting, career choice, major purchases, and how to spend your time and money. I've found planning, coaching, and therapy to be a powerful combination.
- Finding the a mentor or even the right book can help you on your path.
If you've made it this far, I hope you've found this helpful. Please consider supporting It's the Journey with a monthly subscription here.
If you're a new follower and haven't read my book, I did my best to outline the steps I took to change my path and live my dreams. Check out AfterLIFE, Waking Up From My American Dream.
Episode 86: Ellen Green Niedringhaus, Her Yes to Yoga and Feeling Good Changed Her Life, and Could Change Yours
I was so honored to sit down with Ellen Green Niedringhaus this week to talk about her journey. While raising 2 amazing children Ellen is also an inspiring yogini, yoga teacher, and owner of 2 lovely yoga studios that are beautiful communities full of great students and rock star teachers.
Ellen is just a lovely, inspiring soul full of grace, joy, and wisdom that she loves to share.
Years ago while working as a paralegal she took a yoga class one day and was so inspired by how it made her feel that she had to follow that feeling to see where it would go.
That one class and her courage to say yes to something that called her lead her to yoga teacher training, becoming a teacher, starting a yoga studio and then taking on another! Watch or listen now to the many lessons Ellen takes from her yoga practice into her life.
If your curious about her studios or giving yoga a try, take a class at one or both of her beautiful studios with any of her amazing teachers.
Learn more about classes and teacher training opportunities here. Give her studios a follow to stay informed and inspired!
Episode 85: Barbara Ginty, CFP-Bringing Intention to Your Financial Decisions to Live Your Dream
This week I was so lucky to sit down and have a conversation with Barbara Ginty! Barbara is a Certified Financial Planner who in a addition to having a successful practice has an amazing podcast called Future Rich Podcast. She has published over 200 episodes packed with information to help you gain financial literacy and get comfortable with things you should be thinking about to in your financial planning.
Barbara has has been featured on Yahoo Finance, NY Post, Refinery29, NBC, and CNBC. She is also one of the female advisors chosen to contribute to the Money Diaries Book, which was published in 2018.
To learn more about Barbara's amazing female hosted and female focused podcast, check out her website that has tons of useful tools and information about courses she offers!
And give her a follow on Instagram HERE.
If you want to dive more into Episodes around Personal Finance, here are a couple I published that you may like that felt related to the conversation I had with Barbara:
- Episode 57: Thoughts on Financial Planning
- Episode 62: What Does it Mean to be Able to Afford a House?
Episode 84: Video, Success Leaves Clues
“If you want something you've never had you must be willing to do something you've never done.”
Thomas Jefferson
One of my brain’s favorite things to do is to trace the path I’ve followed to where I am today.
While dwelling on the past can be a waste of time and energy, painful and destructive even, learning to look for patterns of behaviors and habits to see what worked and what didn’t can be a powerful tool.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I'm working on a full blog post for this episode to post on my new substack. I'll do my best to organize the information in a useful way that you can use as you pursue your dreams.
Stay tuned!
Episode 84: Success Leaves Clues
Thomas Jefferson
One of my brain’s favorite things to do is to trace the path I’ve followed to where I am today.
While dwelling on the past can be a waste of time and energy, painful and destructive even, learning to look for patterns of behaviors and habits to see what worked and what didn’t can be a powerful tool.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I'm working on a full blog post for this episode to post on my new substack. I'll do my best to organize the information in a useful way that you can use as you pursue your dreams.
Stay tuned!
Episode 83: Abundance & Ambition
“We are not rich by what we possess but by what we can do without.”
Immanuel Kant
“If all you want is more, you’ll never have enough”
Me :)
In this this episode I’ll dive into some thoughts that have been bouncing around my head for awhile concerning what abundance and ambition means and Can mean for you as you make your way through life.
As I said in my book, I chased the American Dream as it was presented to me for too many years of my life. Once I woke up from that and began pursuing my own dream, I got feedback that sometimes felt good and other times felt like criticism.
In this episode I dive into how I learned to deal with and understand these reactions and ideas on how you can define your own abundance and ambition as you make your was along on your journey.
As always please like and follow everywhere you can, give the show some stars and a review, repost when you feel an episode has been helpful or interesting to you.
Thank you!
Episode 82: Jaqueline Alio, A Delightful Conversation with One of Sicily's Leading Historians!
When we say yes to our dreams and follow the threads that pull at our hearts, it can lead us to new places and new people.
My Yes Ands, as I shared in AfterLIFE, Waking up From My American Dream) lead me across the ocean to the homeland of my grandparents and that journey, with the help of Rick Steves, lead me to Jackie Alio!
Last fall before I hike across Sicily, I spent 2 hours wandering the streets of Palermo like a kid in a candy shop absorbing the stories and lessons Jackie shared with me. In preparation for my next trip to Sicily I've begun reading some of her books. I was absolutely delighted when she said yes to coming on the show to share some of the things we talked about and to expand on the books she has written, including her soon to be released book: Kingdom of Sicily, 1130-1266, The Norman-Swabian Age and Identity of a People.
See the full show notes and all the links at Carloblog.com!
Episode 81: Elli Richter, WTF is Human Design, Book Preview
Episode 80: Doing the Difficult Things
My son was telling me about an essay test he had to do where his professor gave the class 3 options to choose from. As he was describing that I remembered actually enjoying those kinds of projects, especially when it was a subject I was interested in. I realized that's all I'm doing here except the essay questions pop in my head every now and then and then I write or podcast about them..so, here goes.
I was posting a reel the other day with some videos I made on my pilgrimage. I was answering one of the questions I had gotten many time and that was "Is it hard". My journey was difficult in many ways at different times, but I enjoyed it for so many reasons. As I made my way across the island my mind had so much time to wander about why we do hard things and how often they become stepping stone for massive growth and wonderful life lessons.
I dove into this topic here in my 80th episode.
Thank you for listening and Enjoy Your Journey,
Carlo
Episode 79: Lessons from my Sicilian Pilgrimage on Minimalism
This week I took some time to try to crystalize some of the thoughts that were bouncing around my head on my hike through the mountains of Sicily from Palermo to Messina.
Part of the reason one does such a trip is to hopefully think about aspects of our lives and I did just that for hours each day. For nearly 30 days during my stay in Sicily I lived out of a backpack. I became very conscious of my things and was aware of why I carried each item and the purpose it could serve. I cannot say the same thing for all the stuff I still have in my home, which is massively reduced from what it used to be and from what the average American owns.
In consciously streamlining my life, my possessions, and commitments of my time and money have profoundly changed my life for the better and I'm searching for ways to continue this. My life on the road reinvigorated me for this project.
I've shared some of my thoughts here!
In this Episode I mentioned 2 other episodes where I discussed how simplification of my life has help me. Find those here:
Episode 58: Have Less, Live More
Episode 78: Julie Boll, Values Driven Living
"Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are.”
― José Ortega y Gasset
I've have had many episodes where I spent time discussing planning and goal setting, but I haven't hit on the importance of our Values and how much they drive us in the right direction.
This week I'm excited to share this wonderful conversation I had with Julie Boll, CDTLF, CPCC on the importance of Values. Julie's 20 years of experience as a Dare to Lead Facilitator "people and organizations get clear on where they want to go and how they will get there. And then help them hold themselves accountable to propel their organizations forward." (from her website)
About Julie:
As a certified Dare to Lead facilitator (CDTLF), Julie Boll teaches people how to lead and live more courageously using the Dare to Lead framework developed by Dr. Brene Brown. Julie is the founder of Julie Boll Consulting, a consulting firm dedicated to helping people and organizations make the most of their time, energy and resources so they can maximize their impact on the community. Julie is a former grants professional with a $10 million track record in awarded grants and over 20 years experience in the nonprofit sector, serving in marketing, public relations and grant development roles. Julie is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC), and McNellis Compression Planning® facilitator. Julie holds a Bachelor's Degree in Public Relations and a Masters Degree in Education, both from Quincy University.
Learn more about Julie's services here:
Follow Julie on LinkedIn
Episode 77: Intentional Imbalance to Avoid Stagnation
“The boldness of his mind was sheathed in a scabbard of politeness.”
― Dumas Malone
Everywhere you turn these days there are articles and gurus promising Balance. When we are really into something or are super excited about a goal our lives can't help but becoming out of balance in the sense that certain activities take up a greater part of our time and energy. If we want to become really good at something, learn a new skill, or really go after some big life goal, we have to put lots of energy into that.
I think lots of us are burned out because we aren't' directing the imbalance. It's coming from external places or from a lifetime of relationships and commitments we wouldn't choose if we had to do it all over again. If we aren't careful, our life will go by in an instant and well have wasted what we had on a balance if things that never made us feel alive.
I took some time this week to dive into this in my first episode since I got back from Sicily.
Episode 76: Facing Our Fears, And the Fears of Others
Episode 75: Updates and Thoughts from the Trails of Sicily. Thoughts on Pleasure vs Happiness
Episode 74: How We Treat Strangers
Episode 73: Updates From the Road in Sicily
Episode 72: On the Road from Sicily, The Plasticity of Normal
Episode 71: Sicilian Pilgrimage Introduction
Episode 70: Use Your Career for Personal Development, Not Your Life for Career Development
In this episode, I reflect back on how I used my career to achieve my goals and develop as a person. I recently was giving my son some advice as he started working a part-time job during college. He's studying business and working at a pizza restaurant in the kitchen. I encouraged him to observe how the business itself functioned. How he was managed and trained. How they handled inventory. How they served customers. How they handled problems. I told him that what he was learning in those areas was likely going to be far more valuable for his growth than what he is learning in school. That was my experience from my first experience earning money cutting grass to my final career.
In hindsight I found a way to make the most out of situations I found myself in and that made huge difference in my life.
Are you using your career or job to grow personally? Where is it taking you?
Episode 69: How Free Time Can Change Your Life
When are lives are so full of the "have to's" of life, we don't have time to think about what WE really want to do, have, or be. Intentionally freeing up my time gave me the space to look inward. That practice helped me rediscover my path and my life has and is changing from this.
Listen now to learn why you should created some space and time away from the grind to look at your path.
Episode 68: How Do You Know When You're Done?
Since I retired from financial planning this year people have asked me 2 question more than anything else. What are you going to do, and How I knew I was done.
Today I'm going to dive into the second one, because, like Steven Covey recommended, I think it's helpful to begin with the end in mind. That end, the lifestyle we think we want to live and how much it will cost, will evolve as we go through life; but I firmly believe that proper planning, early and often, is vital to your success.
Listen now to learn more.
Episode 67: Would You Rather Quietly Quit, or Live on Purpose?
"I always resented all the years, the hours, the
minutes I gave them as a working stiff, it
actually hurt my head, my insides, it made me
dizzy and a bit crazy — I couldn’t understand the
murdering of my years
yet my fellow workers gave no signs of
agony, many of them even seemed satisfied, and
seeing them that way drove me almost as crazy as
the dull and senseless work."
Charles Bukowski, American Poet
It’s so funny now how quickly themes and topics rise and fall on the interwebs bringing forth discussion, arguments, debates, judgment, snarky sniping and lots of hashtags.
Quiet Quitting is the newest thing I’ve been seeing, and like so many other issues today people seem to quickly organize themselves into 2 camps on an issue. Is it good, or is it bad? From a guy who lived what I feel like was a half life for the first 40 something years of my life…quiet quitting scars our souls and robs us of OUR precious lives. Henry David Thoreau said “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.” I remember reading that with the sting of knowing that is what I was doing, but I didn’t believe that I could or deserved any better.
At the same time, American corporate culture has more than quietly quit the teams of people it needs to survive. Expecting no work life balance, no boundaries, and a pizza lunch to make up for eeking out a living while the CEO and upper management are raking in ridiculous incomes and will lay off thousands if needed to cut costs and keep their bonus. Casual Friday and Employee of the Month awards were supposed to make up for no real vacation time and being held captive at your employer by your health insurance. Because of how so many companies treat their employees, I can understand where this comes from…but it’s toxic for EVERYONE.
For me, when I find myself in anything that I’ve quietly quit or I’m in a relationship, friendship situation that has quietly quit ME, I set a goal to fix it or remove myself from that as quickly as possible. Immediately when possible. With this mindset, I’ve deconstructed virtually every aspect of my life in the last decade, and you can too.
What is Quiet Quitting?
An article by Axios described it as “performing only the tasks they’re required to, giving up on going “above and beyond,"”. Other posts I’ve seen have described it as “acting your wage”. That is doing the work you work hired or contracted to do and no more. Still others describe it as doing the bare minimum to not get fired.
So, is this a good thing? A bad thing?!
Listen now to dive into this and let me know your thoughts.
Episode 66: Moving Outside the Comfort Zone with Everett Morley
I've written and talked about how our time in covid was like a collective time out for many of us, and if you've been following and listening a while you know during my timeout, I restructured a huge part of my life. I was delighted to find yet another example of someone who did this as well who wanted to share their journey with you.
Everett Morley took her time during covid to make changes with her career and relationship. In this episode she shared that story as well as how meditation and time alone in nature has been helpful for her.
Here were some things I took away from this fun episode:
- It's important to recognize if a job, relationship, or even our location isn't right for us. It doesn't have to be terrible, but if it's not lighting you up, you may be wasting your life
- Find your way to soul search. To look inside to discover what you DO want
- Meditation and time alone in Nature were helpful for Everett
- Chapter one of my book, AfterLIFE, Waking Up from My American Dream was called "Trust Yourself" and that message was reinforced by Everett today.
You can follow Everett on ticktock and instagram here!
Episode 65: How Do Mondays Feel Compared to Fridays?
If we’re not careful, we’ll spend 5 days of our lives looking forward to 2, and 40 plus years looking forward to however many years we can live in retirement. We’re taught from an early age that’s the norm. For me, I learned it from family, friends, T.V. shows, that I was supposed to dread Monday and LOVE Friday. That I needed to work hard to get a job that paid money so that I could have enough to quit it one day.
Love what you doBecause I’m a problem solver, I dove into a finance in college and as a career because I was determined to understand this puzzle. If figuring out freedom was the goal, I was “supposed to” strive towards, why not go right to the rule book? So I did, and I was lucky enough to go to work for a company who specialized in working with small, closely held businesses. I was trained to help them with many things, and retirement was one of them. What I learned from them was invaluable.
I was shocked how many times I’d ask the business owner I met about their retirement goals. Lots of times they told me that they had no intention of retiring. They loved what they did! Now, it’s easy to imagine someone doing something glamourous like being a artist, writer, or actor saying such a thing, but an owner of a concrete company, a restaurant, or a machine shop?! 20 something year old Carlo was surprised and curious. I asked them why, and they told me!
Most often people in this situation had spent a lifetime building something and they were proud of it. They loved their customers and employees. The derived a sense of purpose from continuing to do this thing they had devoted their life to and a sense of satisfaction from how this business impacted the families of their team, as well as their own.
So, if you are lucky enough to find something you are really good at, that gives you a sense of purpose and meaning, and ultimately you feel you have nothing to retire From, then you’ve hit the jackpot!
Know Your WhyAnother way to find more meaning in the days of your life, is to have a really clear understanding of why you are doing it and then align your life, habits, and behavior around that why.
I consider myself lucky to have found a career that allowed me to build a business that aligned with my skills and passion. It was because of that alignment and my decision to start a business) that I was good enough at it (and lucky) to have the success I wanted. But, in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to do forever. I knew it was something I had to do for money and I didn’t see a path that allowed me to immediately change what I was doing without putting my family in a bad financial situation.
In AfterLIFE, Waking Up from My American Dream, I walked through the changes I made with my business to bring it into alignment with my higher purpose and clearer vision, and these are the actions that ultimately brought me the financial freedom I had been looking for.
Bonus
A key point though is that even if you absolutely love what you do, you should do your planning for your financial freedom in case you don’t get to decide when your done. Your health, the economy, your company, or any number of things could take away your ability to keep doing what you do...or you could find yourself burned out one day. I’ve even seen people’s desire to work change when grandkids come along.
A friend once told me that the best decision in life is the one that gives us the most options...and building your financial freedom does just that.
Good luck to you!
Episode 64: Diane Marie Pisera, Founder of Italy in a Jar Candles
Saying YES to our dreams and stepping forward in that direction, even if we don't have the answers or feel ready, is SO important.
Diane Marie did just that and she shares her beautiful stories and wisdom with us here. I was inspired and so grateful for our time together, and I know you will love her story too.
Here are some key lessons I loved hearing and want to capture:
- Years before she knew she wanted to create this company that captured her love of candles, travel, and Italy (where she was born and raised for the first 9 years of her life) Diane Marie knew she wanted to be an entrepreneur. Even though she didn't know in exactly what way, she said yes to that dream and began reading and studying to be prepared
- When the idea came she was ready and launched into it (during covid like I did with this project!)
- Diane Marie shared how journaling has been an important part of her journey to: set goals, reflect on her progress, record her emotions, and cultivate an attitude of gratitude to keep her confidence up as she moved in the direction of her dreams.
This episode is so fun and full of stories and advice you can take action on. Give it a listen and please check out Italy in a Jar Candles and give her a follow on social media and her newsletter!
Thank you for joining me. Please visit Carloblog.com to learn more about the book that inspired this project. AfterLIFE, Waking Up from My American Dream.
Episode 63: Digging into Goals
“First say to yourself what you would be;
and then do what you have to do.”
― Epictetus
When I graduated college and began my first job, my manager loaned a copy of a Brian Tracy seminar to me. One thing he said that stuck out to me was that fewer than 3% of adults have clear written goals for their lives, but those who did often accomplished great things. I was determined to be in that 3% and I must say that doing so has made a tremendous impact on my life.
Here are some things I learned on my journey that I’d like to add to why clear written goals are important:
- If you have clear goals you can model them
- You can look at all your goals, time, and resources to see if they are compatible and realistic
- You can prioritize your actions (sometimes we need to live out of balance to work through big goals)
- Weigh benefit of one vs another
- Build a specific action plan
- Discover what you need to learn or where you need help
- Weigh the cost of achieving
- Look at possible risks or obstacles
Last, really ask yourself why you want something. Or, better yet, ask what outcome you are seeking. For example, if you want enough money to by a place in San Diego because it has beautiful weather near the beach, are there other places like that in the world where you could accomplish this for a fraction of the cost in terms of time, money, and ultimately life?
Listen now to to dive more deeply into all of this!
Episode 62: What Does it Mean to be Able to Afford a House?
The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.”
Henry David Thoreau, Walden
From time to time I see snarky comments floating around the internet with folks commenting about how they’ve been paying rent for 10 years without missing a payment, but the banks won’t qualify that person for a house. I absolutely understand the frustration but it comes from a partial understanding of the trust cost of owning a home.
Home ownership has become one of the defining features of the American Dream and it can be quite devastating and difficult for people who see this dream as a part of life and also forever out of reach. The insane housing market now coupled with high rents is making this feel worse. I’ll tackle renting vs. Owning another time. Today, as part of a series I want to do on financial literacy, I’d like to dive into what it means to be able to “afford” a thing and in this case specifically a house.
Before I start, I’m not giving any specific financial advice, just broad observations from my personal experience as a homeowner and a former financial planner for the previous 27 years.
Ok with that out of the way, let’s dive into what I mean.
First, banks do want to lend money and to as many people as possible who can pay them back with interest. Lenders are customers. The reality is, sadly, that a huge number of people who did “qualify” to buy a house, can’t really afford it, or at least that house, and it has a profound impact on their lives.
When you “qualify” for a loan they banks look at your credit score to see what kind of risk you might be from your history, your loan to value ratio, and your debt-to-income ratio. The rule of thumb I was taught in my training as a financial planner was the 30% rule. That is, spending 30% of your income on housing is a good place to start.
Problems:
- Real time depreciation is rarely budgeted for accurately, if at all. If you buy an investment property, the government acknowledges the fact that you have to keep investing in the asset to keep it up and gives you a tax break to help pay for it, this isn’t recognized the same way for you as a home owner. According to investopedia, the depreciation for rental homes is 27.5 years, or 3.63%. A quick google search shows that the average home price in the US is over $400,000. To use that as an example, a homeowner should budget $14,520 per year to account for entropy. That is, repairs and maintenance.
Episode 61: Remembering Your Why
Do you know why you do what you do every day? Why you sell a piece of your life nearly every day of the year and likely will for decades to come AND why you spend the fruits of you labor the way you do?
What are you actually working for or towards? We tell ourselves we are working for our future for our family or some other grand and noble thing, but have you ever taken inventory to see if your actions actually are helping you realize your “Why” in life? Is what you’re doing actually putting you on a trajectory to realize what you want?
If right now, your doctor gave you 24 hours to live and you just had time to ponder your life...would you be happy with how you spent it?
If you had 10 more years to live would you stay on your same path or change it radically?
If you would change it, then why not do it now? Why not commit to whatever it is you really want to do, have, and be? Look at how radically and quickly the Covid lockdown changed nearly every aspect of many people’s lives. Change can come at us externally in profound and brutal ways and we have the ability to cope and adapt. Just look at the millions of refugees around the world who have had to pick up and leave their home...forever. Many Americans have a story of some ancestor who came here with nothing to leave some turmoil, unrest or disaster.
We often forget that we can make those changes in our own lives.
Remember, I’m asking you this as someone who had to get knocked to the ground and lose nearly everything to see that I had lost my way. And I want to emphasize this is not about being “done” having a certain amount of money or things, about retirement, or what you do for a living your...how (I’ll talk about that in a future episode) it’s about whether the actions you are taking helping you fulfill whatever you see as your purpose in life. It’s about, as Mr. Nightingale said, the progressive realization, the pursuit of happiness...the Journey!
When the dust settled from the losses I faced in my divorce and the death of my parents I set out to restructure and rebuild virtually every aspect of my life to bring the outcomes I wanted for my Why. I got things out of my personal life that kept from having the time I wanted to spend with my son. I got rid of more and more expenses and responsibilities that absorbed my time and money that kept me from building my financial freedom. I put time and energy into my business to I could earn what I needed to be free. I kept my expenses low so I could pay down debt and build assets.
Now, unlike what we went through with Covid, I’ve done this over a decade of my life. It has required lots of work including therapy, coaching, journaling. Podering, talking to others to get advice, and trying and failing at different things as I go along.
My why wasn’t to quit working. My why was to build a life centered around growth, freedom, time for my family, and to channel my energy into helping others. I had all of that while I was still working in my business. If I hadn’t been able to step away from it, I’d feel in my heart that I was living in alignment with my goals. When I knew clearly what I wanted, I gained focus, discipline and energy I needed to really go after my dreams!
If you don’t know your why, I’d recommend making that your purpose. If you don’t know why you’re here or how you want to spend your life then that should be your dominant focus. Nothing will have a greater impact in your life or in the lives of those around you.
Start journaling every day. Let your mind and imagination wonder as if there were no limits. Dive into therapy, meditation. Find a coach. Find people who have similar dreams!
Learn more at carloblog.com
Thank you and enjoy your Journey.
Episode 60: How Quality over Quantity Impacted my Professional Life
I’ve said before, nothing had a greater impact on my ability to achieve my goals than simplification. My recent episodes have focused on personal life and the benefits of fewer material things to reduce the cost and complexity of my life and how this freed up space for my growth and development.
This week I want to look at how this impacted my first business and former profession as a financial planner.
Like most businesses, the beginning was very much a somewhat desperate time. I had no clients, no income and needed to find lots of the former for the latter. The failure rate in that business was extremely high. The company I started with told me that after the first year only 1 of 3 new planners would still be around and by year three, on a third of those who survived the first year would still be in business. I was 24, married and a father so failure wasn’t an option. I was determined to be in the small group who made it, and I’m grateful that I was.
The problem was that each year I had this huge internal and external drive to “grow”. To get more clients. To make more money. It always felt like there was no end in sight. It all about growth, more, bigger, better. Plus the complexity, materialism, and expense of my personal life was driving my professional life and thus stress.
Read the full blogpost here.
Episode 59: Be Your Own Agent of Change for the Life You Want
For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” ― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
You can start anew at any given moment. Life is just the passage of time and it’s up to you to pass it as you please.” ― Charlotte Eriksson, You’re Doing Just Fine
When we dive into something new we have to be willing to push through that tough beginning part when we are so consciously bad at whatever we are trying.
The past decade I have purposely thrown myself into new situations to learn new things and this concept of being a freshman really helped me.
So many people are proud of things they did once, a long time ago but once they become adults and professionals they are afraid of “looking stupid” or feeling awkward. Guess what! You, and I, and everyone is ignorant of more things than we are competent at. If you are not comfortable being a freshman then you are stuck at whatever level of knowledge you have until you check out. Or you’ll just keep adding micro levels of new information to what you already know or can do. Boring.
People have told me they could Never do improv and just make up conversation. I remind them that they just made up that whole sentence without any prior rehearsal. Others tell me they are incapable of learning a language and I point out they they are doing just fine with English though they didn’t know a word when they were born.
Life has a way of making us freshman anyway. Each new stage of life throws us into things we’ve never done before. Each emergency makes us do things we’ve never done before. Throwing ourselves into the discomfort of conscious incompetence and then working towards some level of competence or even mastery builds those muscles and confidence for when life throw things at us…as this pandemic has illustrated so well. Think about things you can do now that you couldn’t do a year ago. Maybe you mastered video conferencing or have become more of teacher for you kids as they worked at home along side you! What is normal for you now that you hadn’t done a year ago? Congrats!
I’m writing this because I find myself a freshman once again with all the new things I’m learning with the book/podcast/blog project. I was scared to start my book. Scared I couldn’t finish it. Scared no one would like it. I had so much anxiety about the first sessions I recorded my podcast. I prepared the best I could, got the best advice I could find, but eventually the first day of school arrived and I had to just do it. Last week I recorded my 9th episode and I was so thrilled at how much easier it was than the first ones. It’s exciting because something I had never done 2 months ago is something I’m becoming more and more comfortable with. And that, boys and girls, is fun.
We are going to be living in this weird covidy world for a big part of this year. The post-covid world is going to be different. What do you want for yourself in that world. What do you want to be, have, do? Make a list and begin. Now. Enjoy the awkwardness of being really bad at something and enjoy the process of learning. Learing about a subject or diving into just learning more about yourself.
The time will pass either way.
Episode 58: Have Less, Live More
“I believe a desirable future depends on our deliberately choosing a life of action over a life of consumption, on our engendering a lifestyle which will enable us to be spontaneous, independent, yet related to each other, rather than maintaining a lifestyle which only allows us to produce and consume.”
Ivan Illich
The lessons I learned in AfterLIFE weren’t intentionally meant to be about minimalism, but stumbled into what many would call that. I don’t like that or the notion of “downsizing” because they imply only doing without and ignore what one is gaining. Conserving the resources of time and money by “minimalizing” offers the freedom to use that time and money in more life enhancing ways.
After my divorce, I simply had fewer things, a smaller home, and no yard. My first impulse was to work hard to replace all those things, but then I saw I had less things…but more time. More space for living, learning, growing, creating, and experiencing. As a father, I could say “yes, I do have time to play” instead of “no, we have to do yard work this weekend”. I haven’t mowed, raked, weeded or any of those, for me, mind numbing wastes of life in 11 years and haven’t missed them one time. If you have a home and enjoy those things then you are living your life as you wish and good for you! But, most people I’ve met do those things because they think they have to. I’ve saved thousands of hours of life, and tens of thousands of dollars by “minimalizing” and “downsizing”. I did something that implied doing without or having less, but I used the freed up time and resources to have a life time of adventures, learn new skills, and build financial security for myself. Less consumption has lead to more time, freedom, and joy. Less stress and anxiety, and less waste of life.
My time in the COVID lockdown reinforced this again. Suddenly there we 500 hours of time freed up by things I couldn’t do and things I didn’t have to do. I used that time to finish and publish my book, launch a podcast, structure a deal to sell my financial planning practice and being a new chapter in life, and dive into some therapy to work through some shadows that the pandemic stirred up. Instead of focusing on the things I couldn’t do, I dove into things I could do with all the found time. (IMPORTANT NOTE: I want to acknowledge what a privilege it was that I had a profession that allowed me to keep working safely at home. I know millions couldn’t do that.)
Episode 57: Thoughts on Financial Planning
Last year when I announced that I was exiting my career as a financial planner people were curious about two big things:
1) What was I going to do?
2) How did I know I could do it?
The first on I tried to answer through my book (AfterLIFE, Waking up From My American Dream) and podcast (It’s the Journey), and that is I’m going to live a life of growth and purpose through the pursuit of my passions and interests. The other question was a result of years of planning and that’s what I want to talk about now.
Below is a blogpost I published in 2018 when I was a financial planner. For years and years I had been frustrated with the confusion that exists about what planning is and annoyed at how the financial industry sometimes perpetuated that confusion though everyone calling themselves a financial planner no matter what it was they actually did. I used to say it was as if every car salesman started calling themselves transportation consultants while still working for a car manufacturer.
I wrote this to try to help clear up the confusion and it resulted in new clients seeking me out as existing client wanting to take a fresh look at planning for themselves or loved ones. I’m talking about it still because people keep asking me how I knew I could pursue my dreams away from that career. I had a Blueprint and a roadmap I’m still following as I live my dreams. I hope you will begin today on yours!
To read the full blog post, please go to Episode 57: Thoughts on Financial Planning On Carloblog.com.
Thank you so much and enjoy your journey!
Carlo
Episode 56: Pursuing what you want vs what you are “supposed” to want
Enjoy and feel free to comment or share.
Thank you,
Carlo
“Man must choose whether to be rich in things or in the freedom to use them.”
― Ivan Illich
Dream schools, dream cars, dream houses, dream weddings, and dream vacations are are often the things society encourages and expects us to want and do...so many of us, including me for decades, pursue these things without much thought because these thing were laid out for us as just what you do...
To read the full blog post, click here to visit my website.
Episode 55: Keeping Our Promises...To Ourselves
It's been a minute, because according to my calendar it's nearly June! As life swings back to a more normal pace, or whatever this new normal is shaking out to be, I've taken some time to settle into the changes my life has been going though. In this episode, I took time time to catch you up on things and reflect on an expansion of the concept I talked about in Chapter 1 of AfterLIFE. In that chapter I described how important and difficult it was for me to learn to trust and listen to my heart and how foundational that was to all the changes that followed from that shift to this very day.
Without question, we are living through strange times. So much is shifting and these changes can shake us to our core. It's essential to have trusting and loving relationships to get through this, and those begin with the trust and love we have for ourselves and then radiate outward to every other part of our lives. Given this importance, it remains a focus in my life, and I wanted to share some thoughts that may be helpful to you on your journey.
Other News:
Last week I learned that AfterLIFE is a finalist in the Mind & Spirit Book Awards for Spirituality and Enlightenment Non-Fiction, a division of the 2021 Chanticleer International Book Awards (the CIBAs)! I'm so thrilled and honored by this recognition as well as the kind and beautiful feed and reviews I've received from so many of you! Thank you! Next month they'll choose the winners for each category, so keep your fingers crossed!
Next, I worked with the talented folks at Independent Press Award, who recognized AfterLIFE with 2 distinguished favorite awards, to create my very first book trailer! You can watch that HERE if you like.
That's all I have for today. I'm working on and through lots of projects that I'm not ready to talk about yet, but stay tuned! In the meantime, give yourself the gift of time to reflect on and make a plan for your dreams and get to work on building and living the life you want…right now! The rewards and joy from that are the person you become along they way on YOUR Journey.
All the best,
Carlo
Episode 54: Sometime Self Care Is Doing the Hard Things
The craziness of the pandemic and all the other things going on in the world threw me off my game from an exercise standpoint. Last fall as I was thinking about this year, I set some goals and made my personal health a priority. These past couple months as I've been changing and restricting what I eat and increasing my exercise with strength training and yoga, I've been feeling better and better. What I'm doing is tough and not always pleasurable in the moment, but I'm making steady progress towards an important personal goal, and that makes me happy.
This got me thinking about this concept of self care and I thought I'd talk about some things I've learned.
I hope this is helpful as you work towards your dreams and goals.