Clearly Unqualified

Hey all you cool Cats and kittens!! 5/5 would recommend Quarantining for physical health... but if it’s putting a test to your mental health, here are some of our favorite shows and movies we recommend to binge watch while practicing social distancing! You already know we are talking Tiger King, Joe Exotic and that BITCH CAROL BASKIN! We also give our reviews for everything from Little Fires Everywhere to The Masked Singer to the Disney/Pixar movie Up!

Jacklyn and Riane get socially responsible and check in over FaceTime... tune in to find out how they are staying positive and surviving self isolation!! This is a quick one, but we can’t wait to get back to bringing you guys a full serving of tea very soon!! Stay Healthy Everyone ♥️

So remember last week when it was a simpler time and we said not to be worried about Coronavirus... yeah we were DEAD WRONG!! As we are getting closer and closer to an inevitable quarantine, here are a few tips that might help you get through two weeks of self isolation! We also sprinkled in a few stories of people doing amazing things when everything in this world is completely terrifying and unsure!! We’ll get through all of this you guys!! We’re in this together ♥️

There is so much going on in the world right now... coronavirus, the presidential primaries, Demi Lovato is BACK... we can’t even keep track of everything! So we decided to change up the format of this episode a bit and just dissect some of the biggest news stories from this week 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do us a favor, think of three things you like about yourself right now. It can be anything; do you think you have nice hair? Are you compassionate to animals? Have you recently had to be strong when you didn’t think it was possible? You’re AMAZING!! However, there still may be that voice in the back of your head telling you there is not even one good thing about you. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but that voice is DEAD WRONG!! What would you tell your best friend if they asked you to name three things you like about them? You know for a fact you would be listing 100 ways that bitch was a fucking KWEEN and a serious BADASS!! We need to start doing the same thing for ourselves so the voices inside our heads telling us we are not enough can shut the fuck up and we can get back to being the BAD BITCHES we know we are!!

This week we are hanging out with our new podcast friends Jeff and Nick from The Hardly Working Podcast! Tune in, get your Q-tips ready for some good ear sex and join us while we discuss some important topics like therapy, men’s hair cutting tips, turd worm fishing trips, lgbt bingo, our love of so many Courtney’s, and so much more!!

Yes, we all want to save the turtles, but this episode ain't about no straws!! We're talking recycling exes, friends, hookups and more!! Like, did anyone else get a text from their past on Valentine's Day?? Whelp, one of us obviously did... and it inspired this episode!! So grab your reusable straws and get ready to hear about how we are saving the planet with all the recycling we've done over the years!! But also, SAVE THE FUCKING TURTLES!!

To drunk text or not to drunk text?? That is the question... maybe go through the following checklist before sending out that drunk text: are both of your eyes open? Are you in clear view of your friend group that you came to the bar with?? Can you actually type words into a sentence that makes sense??? If you’ve said yes to one or more of these; then go ahead!! Text away!!

For every new relationship, there are just so many possibilities for red flags... but what level red is it?? Are they a slightly pink flag where you see their potential and nothing sets the alarm bells off in your head?? Or are they the dreaded crimson red flag where alarms are blaring to the point where you should probably just hop on a plane and move to sunny Mexico and change your name to get away from them... not that we’ve had to do that before 👀 In this episode we will help you navigate the RED FLAG LEVELS™️ so you can keep your budding romance(s) on track!!

Why does the world look like a giant garbage fire? Because it’s a man’s world obvs 🙄 jk jk... but we are so glad that we are finally in a time when we’re changing the dialogue surrounding what little girls can grow up to be! Who knows, maybe when we grow up we’ll be astronauts or scientists too!!

It’s so easy to take everything on yourself, what’s one more client? You need someone to babysit?? I’d love to go to your cousins hamsters girlfriend’s 4th birthday party!! I GOT YOU GIRL!! But what happens when you don’t got it? No one wants to admit they need a little help now and then!! But guess what, every one wants to be there for you too!! So let them!! Use those resources girl!!

Dear Clearly Unqualified,
All advice I've found on the internet is a garbage dumpster that is on fire. Please help!!
Sincerely,
Dumpster diving in the name of love

10... 9... 8... 7... omgggg you get it 🙄 HAPPY NEW YEAR!! This is the last episode of the year, no... OF THE DECADE!! We’ve reflected on 2019 and honestly you guys, what a garbage fire!! Jk, jk 2019 was one of the most challenging and rewarding years of our lives! But as they say... 2020 is going to be our year... and yours too... we just know it ♥️

Twas the day before Christmas and all that you hear, is ya girls from Clearly Unqualified spreading some Holiday cheer!! Whether you’re shopping or wrapping we’re here to entertain, and try to help you from feeling that holiday strain! So get nice and cozy on your couch, snuggle up, we’re making Christmas cookies and hot cocoa; now that’s what’s up!! Thank you all for every like, subscribe and share, from one pediatric therapist and one who styles hair!! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays ❤️💚

In the immortal words of Paula Abdul: “And you know - - it ain’t fiction, just a natural fact. We go together cuz opposites attract.” You hear it all the time but what is it that makes the complete opposite person from you so appealing?? Is it the excitement of the unknown that attracts us? Is it the old saying that the grass is always greener on the other side that makes us think that they’re our perfect match?? Hell if we know!! Listen while we try to figure that one out!!

It’s true, some girls don’t watch porn! But some of us do... A LOT!! Of course Jacklyn and Riane are on the opposite ends of the porn watching spectrum... can you guess who watches a lot and who doesn’t?? 🤷🏻‍♀️

You meet someone... and you wait. You wait for them to make a move, you wait to text them, you wait for them to add you on the socials, you wait to have sex, and you wait and you wait and you wait... or is that just us??

Your hostesses with the mostestes are doing double duty this week!! We decided to host a podcast and a Friendsgiving... what were we thinking??! Listen to our guests tell us what they’re thankful for while getting your elastic waistband pants ready for actual Turkey Day!! We are grateful for all of you this year!!

Are you sick and tired of the stigma surrounding mental health?? Well you should be! In this episode we talk about the mental health field and also our own struggles with the topic!

It’s 2019, we’re all out here taking nudes and feeling empowered! However, do you keep yours locked up or do you display them for anyone to see? Let us know if you’re Team Riane or Team Jacklyn in the comments!

What are the 10 best ways to breakup with someone? Ghost, ghost again, ghost but with style? That’s usually how we do it!! Listen while we explore some other options with special guests Rob and Meg!

Picture this: you’re at a family party. Crazy Aunt Dolores is approaching FAST! You can already hear the first question she is going to ask you, “When are you going to find a boyfriend?” Well Crazy Aunt Dolores, this episode is for you! Tune in to find out how we could possibly survive as single women in this day and age!

Testing... testing... is this thing on?? We hope so!! Welcome to Clearly Unqualified!! In our first episode, get to know hosts Jacklyn and Riane as we introduce each other and invite you into our friendship. We’re so excited to start this ride with you! Buckle up!