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Cocoa Butter Junkie

Cocoa Butter Junkie

By Michelle
A podcast on the everyday reflections and experiences of a Kenyan woman. An examination of life living through mental health issues, grief, growing up a.k.a kicking and screaming into adulthood, the experiences of being a woman in Kenya, making friends as an adult, and struggles with faith.
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EPISODE 3. The day I found out my brother was dead

Cocoa Butter Junkie

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EPISODE 19. More random thoughts, poems, pieces and such from 2016
In the episode I go back to a painful period in my life Pieces I read in the episode https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/living-someone-else-s-life-9ee14b30b422 https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/practicality-a-k-a-kicking-and-screaming-into-adulthood-895c4c895ed2 https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/my-eyes-are-wide-open-168904d7203f https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/my-dear-brother-565100275861 https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/thoughts-inspired-by-death-and-the-new-year-61680a021fc7 https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/one-empty-mind-521ae3262f3 THIS WEEK'S RECOMMENDATIONS https://www.youtube.com/c/thefuturishere https://www.instagram.com/thefuturishere/ The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram and Facebook. Please share, rate and review! Email me cocoabutterjunkie@gmail.com Thank you for listening! Consider supporting the podcast : https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie https://www.buymeacoffee.com/cocoabutterjnky Music Happy African Village by John Bartman Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8
17:42
November 29, 2020
EPISODE 18. What therapy will not do
In the episode I examine common misconceptions about therapy HELPFUL RESOURCES https://www.instagram.com/p/CHs3ZGMhdIZ/ The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app  https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram and Facebook.  Please share, rate and review! Email me cocoabutterjunkie@gmail.com Thank you for listening! Consider supporting the podcast : https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie https://www.buymeacoffee.com/cocoabutterjnky Music  Happy African Village by John Bartman Birds by Monk Turner Fascinoma-04 Its Your Birthday Instrumental Version by Monk Turner Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8
19:46
November 22, 2020
EPISODE 17. The things we say to ourselves a.k.a Automatic Thoughts
In the episode this week, let's examine how we talk to ourselves. This weeks recommendations Dr. Tracey Marks https://youtu.be/Ux0FHPux6J0 Softie The Film https://youtu.be/vfKFuvjFn_4 https://www.softiethefilm.com/watch The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram and Facebook.  Please share, rate and review! Email me cocoabutterjunkie@gmail.com Thank you for listening! Consider supporting the podcast : https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 Further reading https://www.mindwell-leeds.org.uk/myself/feel-better/practise-self-help/depression-self-help/challenge-how-you-think-depression https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/stop-automatic-negative-thoughts#1-remove-should-thoughts https://positivepsychology.com/challenging-automatic-thoughts-positive-thoughts-worksheets/ https://cimhs.com Music  Happy African Village by John Bartman Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami Ellie's Home Stretch by The Green North Sound Society Fascinoma-04 Its Your Birthday Instrumental Version by Monk Turner
23:52
November 15, 2020
EPISODE 16. Crazy people don't go to therapy ft. Muhu
In the episode we talk to Muhu, a counseling psychologist about the therapy process, exploring what it is, what its not and common misconceptions about it. MTRH-Moi Teaching and Referral Hospital You can book a session with her on +254714807447 Growth Catalyst https://www.growthcatalysts.org/ Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 This weeks recommendations Dr. Ramani https://www.youtube.com/user/DoctorRamanDurvasula The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram and Facebook. Please share, rate and review! Email me cocoabutterjunkie@gmail.com Thank you for listening! Consider supporting the podcast : https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Music  Happy African Village by John Bartman Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami Ellie's Home Stretch by The Green North Sound Society
52:10
November 8, 2020
EPISODE 15. Emotional Abuse:Examining our own toxicity
Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 In the episode this week we explore emotional abuse, starting with ourselves This weeks recommendations Zikora https://www.amazon.com/Zikora-Short-Chimamanda-Ngozi-Adichie-ebook/dp/B08K942N84 Notion https://www.notion.so The podcast is available on Audible and Amazon Podcasts https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/d8e039f7-7f1d-4309-a628-0c140bbdc725/Cocoa-Butter-Junkie Follow me on the socials @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram and Facebook. Please share, rate and review! Email me cocoabutterjunkie@gmail.com Thank you for listening Consider supporting the podcast : https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Music  Happy African Village by John Bartman Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami Ellie's Home Stretch by The Green North Sound Society
24:48
November 1, 2020
EPISODE 14. A Conversation with Ama
On the episode this week, A Conversation with Ama This weeks recommendations Conversations with Ama https://anchor.fm/conversationswithama/ Sam Vaknin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uM13pZxBLM An open letter to South African Men by Vusi Thembekwayo https://medium.com/@vusispeaker/an-open-letter-to-south-african-men-d290022c356d Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app  https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram and Facebook.  Please share, rate and review! Email me cocoabutterjunkie@gmail.com Thank you for listening! Consider supporting the podcast : https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Music  Happy African Village by John Bartman  Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami Ellie's Home Stretch by The Green North Sound Society
59:42
October 25, 2020
EPISODE 13. I do not give you my consent
On the episode this week is a submission I received from one of you guys, a listener... This weeks recommendations Criminal UK Season 2 Episode 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtHBrjgDjes Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Please share, rate and review! Email me cocoabutterjunkie@gmail.com Thank you for listening Consider supporting the podcast : https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Music  Happy African Village by John Bartman  Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami Ellie's Home Stretch by The Green North Sound Society Into It by Kwon
47:06
October 18, 2020
EPISODE 12. Is a table a table? ft. Ntombi
Today I talk with Ntombi from the Podcast Season 2000 about making the same episode on both our podcasts :-)  This weeks recommendations Go listen to Ntombizodwa: Season 2000 Unspoken Feelings of a Gentleman I & II by Pierre Alex Jeanty How to Stop Feeling So Damn Depressed: The No BS Guide for Men by Jonas A. Horwitz PhD Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram and Facebook. Please share, rate and review! Email me: cocoabutterjunkie@gmail.com Thank you for listening! Consider supporting the podcast : https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Music  Happy African Village by John Bartman Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami Fascinoma-04 Its Your Birthday Instrumental Version by Monk Turner Ellie's Home Stretch by The Green North Sound Society Into It by Kwon
47:23
October 11, 2020
EPISODE 11. What grief feels like...
Hey there! I’m baaaack!! For real this time! Welcome to Season Two of the podcast!!!! In this episode, I tackle what I’ve been up to since I took a break & what grief has been like for me Grief definition from  https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/grief https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grief Read The 128th stage of grief here https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/the-128th-stage-of-grief-6118de96ca23 The stammer https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/the-stammer-73170532fcf1 I am so down in the dumps, my soul is overwhelmed. https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/i-am-so-down-in-the-dumps-my-soul-is-overwhelmed-309055584f9e Listen to Episode 2 here https://anchor.fm/cocoabutterjunkie/episodes/EPISODE-2--My-Mental-Health-Experience-efhl75 Listen to Episode 3 here https://anchor.fm/cocoabutterjunkie/episodes/EPISODE-3--The-day-I-found-out-my-brother-was-dead-efmq4e Listen to Episode 8 here https://anchor.fm/cocoabutterjunkie/episodes/EPISODE-8--Women-Vs-Womanhood-in-Kenya-ehel26 Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Notes on Grief | The New Yorker https://www.newyorker.com/culture/personal-history/notes-on-grief MDQ’s episodes on CTA https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLY82RVylbju3bkK_ya_PD0w0690w9Loi2 Passenger List.  https://passengerlist.org/  Unmarried  https://www.showmax.com/eng/tvseries/9e6vwnk0-unmarried The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials  @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Please share, rate and review! Thank you for listening Consider supporting the podcast : https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 Music Happy African Village by John Bartman Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami
27:01
October 4, 2020
I AM HERE FOR YOU, THE EMPTIEST PLATITUDE
Hey, so here's a bonus episode as I work  on Season 2. It's taking a  shape I hadn’t planned on but I am happy it is going the way it is…can’t  wait to release it.  Just a few more days! Platitude definition read from wikipedia : https://g.co/kgs/zUYhkr Take me up on the offer. I am really here. Go to anchor.fm/message/cocoabutterjunkie and leave me a message.  Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8  This week I’m listening to  Where should we begin with Esther Perel, a podcast that follows one couple’s therapy session of different couples with Esther Perel.  The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app : https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials  @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Please share, rate and review! Thank you for listening! Please consider supporting the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Music Happy African Village by John Bartman Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami
09:19
September 13, 2020
EPISODE 10. The Glitz and Glam of the Behind the Scenes
I need a mental health break guys....and I'm taking it. So this will be the final episode of this season. But worry not, I will be back with more episodes in a few weeks. I'm taking this time to work on them. In the mean time, you can learn what it takes to work on this podcast. Lemme know if you're interested in an IG live and what topics you'd like covered in Season 2. Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/message/cocoabutterjunkie Please consider supporting the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Peyton Sawyer's Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/peytons-podcast/id292591486 Serial Podcast https://serialpodcast.org List of Kenyan Podcasts I'm currently listening to  Otherwise   Surviving Nairobi Legally clueless Living truthfully CKIZA The Human Interest podcast My African Start up story Too Simple The backstory Mwende Says This week's recommendations Jesus & Jollof Podcast https://jesusandjollof.simplecast.com/ Twilight App https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.urbandroid.lux&hl=en The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials  @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Please share, rate and review! Email:cocoabutterjunkie@gmail.com Thank you for listening! Music Happy African Village by John Bartman
25:50
August 16, 2020
EPISODE 9. First-born manenos & pressuring a friend into therapy
On this episode , another phone call with a friend. We just got right into it, talking about identity crisis, toxic work environments, giving on empty, friendships ,first born manenos ,boundaries,COVID-19 and I basically pressure Mary into therapy :-) Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 This week's podcast recommendations @rangipop @ginodrawsit @homewithrue @islandboiphotography All in Instagram Psych2go : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkJEpR7JmS36tajD34Gp4VA Wahura Kabutha : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuCsv_d1SHgOk9wV_tZugdQ The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials  @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Please share, rate and review! Thank you for listening. Please consider supporting the podcast on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/message/cocoabutterjunkie Music Happy African Village by John Bartman Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami
01:18:10
August 9, 2020
EPISODE 8. Women Vs Womanhood in Kenya
On this episode I explore sexual assault, sexual harassment, women and their work, catcalling, the importance of having a thick skin and a few other gems on what it means to be a woman in Kenya in 2020 A huge thanks to all the ladies who submitted their stories for this episode. If you would like to submit your experiences, please contact me via email on cocoabutterjunkie[at]gmail.com or social media   Please have a look at this video in IG  https://www.instagram.com/tv/CBIvDepDFvk/?igshid=qjhk2f5rxzb0  https://www.instagram.com/tv/CBC61PjATCc/  I Know This Much Is True TV Series  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4KBGydqlVk  Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app  https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie  Follow me on the socials  @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.  Please share, rate and review!  Thank you for listening and please consider supporting the podcast  https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie  Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/message/cocoabutterjunkie Music  Happy African Village by John Bartman  Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami
01:06:26
August 2, 2020
EPISODE 7. I just wanted to win ft. Magarita
This week I talk to another high school friend about losing a brother, her mental health journey, how her family has adjusted to her condition, experiencing work as a woman and of course how 2020 and COVID have affected her life.   Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 This weeks podcast recommendations The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek https://simonsinek.com/the-infinite-game The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck Kina https://stories.showmax.com/kina-series/ The podcast on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1LcY5LYBt24l43nL_SrnkKAv2RK4KOry The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials  @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Please share, rate and review! Thank you for listening Consider supporting the podcast https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Music Happy African Village by John Bartman Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami
01:30:08
July 26, 2020
EPISODE 6. I didn't know I was feisty ft. Christabel
It’s a  long episode guys so get your favourite drink and snack and settle in. I have a guest!  We talk about one woman’s journey into adulthood, newly found freedoms as an 18 year old. family ties , the importance of relationships and community outside of family, racism, sexism, mental health, the patriarchy, misogyny, resilience, workplace harassment, making it, OCD and therapy, growing up outside of Kenya, respect or the lack thereof for women and why no one is listening,  and of course 2020 and COVID… Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 This weeks podcast recommendations Impact Theory by Tom Bilyeu In therapy  The podcast on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1LcY5LYBt24l43nL_SrnkKAv2RK4KOry The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Follow me on the socials  @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook Consider supporting the podcast https://www.patreon.com/cocoabutterjunkie Music Happy African Village by John Bartman Not Remembering her by Esther Abrami
01:09:20
July 19, 2020
EPISODE 5. Toxic and Positivity don't belong in the same episode title
The anxiety was high this week, so I may sound like I’m hyperventilating :-) In the episode today , I give quick update on the state of my mental health , talk about toxic positivity and let you in on some IG accounts I am loving this week. Mentioned in the episode Cocoa Butter Junkie on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1LcY5LYBt24l43nL_SrnkKAv2RK4KOry The Psychology group video https://thepsychologygroup.com/toxic-positivity/ Teachers seek mental health support  https://parentsafrica.com/2020/06/29/report-shows-that-400-teachers-sought-mental-health-support-in-april/ https://citizentv.co.ke/news/400-teachers-sought-mental-health-support-over-depression-in-april-report-337021/ IG accounts mentioned in the episode @africacovidexhibition @pichaimages @melaninjourney @dopeblackart and  @notesfromyourtherapist. The podcast is available on your favourite podcast app https://www.linktr.ee/cocoabutterjunkie Leave me a voice note :-) anchor.fm/cocoabutterjunkie Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 Music: Happy African Village by John Bartmann
12:10
July 12, 2020
EPISODE 4. The random thoughts and musings of a grieving sister
Today I will read some stories, poems and thoughts I wrote the year after my brother died.  As I said, COVID-19 has forced me to think about my brother’s death more these last few months. The first year, to deal with the shock of losing him, I would write. Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 Links  mentioned in the episode https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/that-first-walk-5215dde29e06 https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/i-want-to-be-normal-f10461979f1e https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/hopes-and-dreams-i-had-for-my-brother-29e7c719995 https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/be-strong-f436c4b550f1 https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/lessons-from-my-brothers-death-2d8ee6d2abc6 Follow me on the socials @thiskenyanwoman on Instagram & Twitter  Podcast Pages @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook Music: Happy African Village by John Bartmann
10:24
July 5, 2020
EPISODE 3. The day I found out my brother was dead
Today I tell you about my brother, the journey to finding out he’d died, the first time I saw him in a casket, his burial and the journey since For those not from Kenya,  * Matatu = public transport bus ,  * Matatu stage = bus stop,  * Maragoli = one of the ethnic communities/languages spoken in Kenya,  * Safaricom  = most popular Telcom in Kenya * Town = the city * Fundi = Tailor Doing this episode was really hard for me. Recording and editing the audio took a lot. Reliving the death of loved one is hard. I didn’t realize just how hard it would be... The day that this episode goes live was supposed to be my brother’s birthday. June 28th. He would be turning thirty. You will hear a lot of   “…at some point” “…aaaand…”, clicks, and awkward laughs  :-) I wrote this  couple of months after my brother died…I mentioned it in the episode https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/that-first-walk-5215dde29e06 https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/i-want-to-be-normal-f10461979f1e https://medium.com/@thiskenyanwoman/hopes-and-dreams-i-had-for-my-brother-29e7c719995 Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 Follow me on the socials @thiskenyanwoman on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook Podcast Pages @cocobutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook Music: Happy African Village by John Bartmann
20:48
June 28, 2020
EPISODE 2. My Mental Health Experience
In this episode I talk about the first time I realized that my mental health might not be at 100%. I talk about signs and symptoms of depression and anxiety, seeing a doctor for the first time, getting on medication and my experience on the meds. Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 Apps I use (on Android) are Inuka, Youper, and Wysa. I follow @nedratawwab on Instagram  On Youtube I follow Psychology Demystified, Dr Tracey Marks, Live by Design with Grace Kariuki and Therapy in a nutshell   I have also done a Pinterest Board on Mental health. Have a look and see if you feel any of the same symptoms. https://www.pinterest.com/msmiira/selfcare/mental-health/  Follow me on the socials @thiskenyanwoman on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook Podcast Pages @cocoabutterjunkie on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook Music: Happy African Village by John Bartmann
12:13
June 21, 2020
EPISODE 1. My Vision Board Vs 2020
Welcome to the Cocoa Butter Junkie podcast. I’m Michelle and this is my podcast.  This is a podcast on the everyday reflections and experiences of a Kenyan woman. An examination of life living through mental health issues, grief, growing up a.k.a kicking and screaming into adulthood, the experiences of being a woman in Kenya, making friends as an adult, struggles with faith and bunch of other topics. Today I talk about my vision board versus everything 2020 has brought with it. Follow me on @thiskenyanwoman on Twitter and Instagram. Let me know how COVID has affected your plans for this year by leaving a voice note on anchor.fm/cocoabutterjunkie Please take 5 mins and give me your feedback-->https://forms.gle/A2d84D8TRkxeDdUe8 Thanks for listening! Music: Happy African Village by John Bartmann
05:27
June 14, 2020