Dad Jokes Daily

Someone’s Stolen My Toilet!?

An episode of Dad Jokes Daily

By Sammy Davies
About
A daily source of the most cringe worthy comedy.

Check back each day for another dad joke to share with your family, colleagues, neighbours, team mates (or just to enjoy yourself ... we all have a guilty pleasure!)
More places to listen
A daily source of the most cringe worthy comedy.

Check back each day for another dad joke to share with your family, colleagues, neighbours, team mates (or just to enjoy yourself ... we all have a guilty pleasure!)

More places to listen

Someone’s Stolen My Toilet!?
Someone’s stolen my toilet !? 😫😫😫
00:13
October 18, 2019
What’s Got More Letters Than the Alphabet?
What’s got more letters than the alphabet? 🤔🤔🤔
00:14
October 17, 2019
I’m Only Friendly With 25 Letters ...
Im only friendly with 25 letters of the alphabet ...
00:17
October 16, 2019
What’s The Saddest Fruit?
What’s the saddest fruit? 🤔🤔🤔
00:14
October 15, 2019
Why is No one Friends With Yogi?
Why is no one friends with Yogi? 🤔🤔🤔
00:16
October 14, 2019
Which Vegetable Hates War the Most?
Which vegetable hates war the most? 🤔🤔🤔
00:16
October 13, 2019
The Teacher Who Drew On The Window
Did you hear about the teacher who drew on the window?
00:18
October 12, 2019
What food do monkeys eat?
What food do monkeys eat?
00:17
October 3, 2019
Shout Out
Shout out to all those people asking ...
00:13
August 30, 2019
Holding The Door Open
Something pretty lovely happened today ...
00:19
August 29, 2019
Nations Capitol
Which Nations capitol is the worlds fastest growing?
00:20
August 28, 2019
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
00:15
August 27, 2019
Hit in the head with a soda can
Did you hear about the guy who was hit in the head with a soda can?
00:17
August 26, 2019
Nobel Prize
Did you hear about the scientist who REALLY wanted the Nobel prize ...
00:17
August 23, 2019
A Year as a Vegetarian
I just spent a year as a vegetarian...
00:15
August 19, 2019
Dogs Chasing People On Bikes
The Police called to tell me my dogs were chasing people on bikes ...
00:18
August 16, 2019
Fire Pit
Ever since I’ve been sleeping in the fire pit ...
00:13
August 15, 2019
Sign Language
I know sign language
00:13
August 14, 2019
The Bad Sport
The Bad Sport Baseball Player
00:21
August 13, 2019
Apple’s Self-Driving Car
Apple’s Self-Driving Car
00:16
August 12, 2019
A Good Egg Roll
How do you make a good egg roll?
00:13
August 9, 2019
Three Conspiracy Theorists
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar ...
00:15
August 8, 2019
What’s the quickest way to make AntiFreeze?
What’s the quickest way to make AntiFreeze?
00:13
July 26, 2019
Someone Stole My Lamps
Someone Stole My Lamps
00:14
July 25, 2019
Why Didn’t the Cat Go to the Vet?
Why Didn’t the Cat Go to the Vet?
00:16
July 24, 2019
A Car out of Spaghetti?
A car out of spaghetti?
00:21
July 23, 2019
Do French Men Play Video Games?
Do French men play video games?
00:16
July 22, 2019
What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day?
What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day?
00:14
July 19, 2019
What do you call an Alligator with a vest?
What do you call an Alligator with a vest?
00:14
July 18, 2019
What do you call a dead parrot?
What do you call a dead parrot?
00:13
July 17, 2019
What do you call a nose without a body?
What do you call a nose without a body?
00:13
July 16, 2019
What do you call a communist sniper?
What do you call a communist sniper?
00:13
July 15, 2019
I’m Colour Blind?!?
I’m Colour Blind?!?
00:18
July 12, 2019
Hippo or Zippo?
What’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo
00:16
July 11, 2019
Drinking Brake Fluid
My mates are worried I’m drinking too much brake fluid ...
00:15
July 10, 2019
Picture in Jail
Picture in Jail
00:17
July 9, 2019
My Ex-Wife Misses Me
My Ex-Wife Misses Me
00:13
July 8, 2019
My Wife Needs More Space
My Wife Needs More Space
00:13
July 5, 2019
Twenty Happy Years
Twenty Happy Years
00:18
July 4, 2019
Past, Present & Future
Past, Present and Future
00:17
July 3, 2019
I Upset Someone on The Bus
Upset someone on the bus
00:20
July 2, 2019
Is Mum a Good Cook?
Is Mum a Good Cook?
00:16
July 1, 2019
I Haven’t Spoken To My Wife In Years
I Haven’t spoken to my wife in years...
00:15
June 28, 2019
My Wife Asked Me To Talk Dirty
My wife asked me to say dirty things to her last night ...
00:17
June 25, 2019
My Wife Asked Me To Clear The Table
My Wife Asked Me To Clear The Table
00:15
April 12, 2019
My Wife Drew Her Eyebrows Too High
My Wife Drew Her Eyebrows Too High
00:15
April 11, 2019
What Rhymes With Oranges?
What Rhymes With Oranges?
00:16
April 10, 2019
Have You Heard The Rumour About Butter?
Have You Heard The Rumour About Butter?
00:14
April 9, 2019
Transcript From The Trial
Transcript From The Trial
00:30
April 8, 2019
Don't Call Me Shirley
Don't Call Me Shirley 
00:17
April 5, 2019
If You're An American Before You Go To The Bathroom ...
If You're An American Before You Go To The Bathroom ...
00:21
April 4, 2019
Saw A Baguette at the Zoo
Saw A Baguette at the Zoo
00:16
April 3, 2019
I Like Telling Dad Jokes
Confession - I like telling Dad jokes ... 
00:16
March 29, 2019
Stolen Microsoft Office
To who ever has my copy of Microsoft Office ... 
00:17
March 28, 2019
What Did the Pirate Say on His 80th Birthday?
What did the Pirate say on his 80th birthday???
00:19
March 27, 2019
Invisible Man's Job Offer
Why didn't the invisible man accept the job offer?
00:14
March 26, 2019
French Fries
Did you know that French Fries weren't originally made in France?
00:16
March 25, 2019
I Bought Some Shoes From a Drug Dealer
I Bought Some Shoes From a Drug Dealer ...
00:15
March 22, 2019
My Son Asked For A Bookmark
My Son asked "Can I have a book mark?"
00:18
March 21, 2019
I Used to Work in Shoe Recycling
I Used to Work in Shoe Recycling ...
00:16
March 20, 2019
A Furniture Store Keeps Calling Me
A Furniture Store Keeps Calling Me
00:14
March 19, 2019
What Do You Call A Fat Psychic?
What Do You Call A Fat Psychic?
00:14
March 18, 2019
Why Do You Never See Elephants Hiding?
Why Do You Never See Elephants Hiding?
00:14
March 15, 2019
I've Never Been to a Gun Range
I've Never Been to a Gun Range
00:14
March 14, 2019
The Rotation of the Earth
The Rotation of the Earth ...
00:14
March 13, 2019
Have You Ever Heard of the Shovel?
Have You Ever Heard of the Shovel?
00:14
March 12, 2019
Giant Pile of Cats
What do you call a giant pile of cats?
00:13
March 5, 2019
Why Does Santa Only Come Once A Year?
Why Does Santa Only Come Once A Year?
00:16
December 25, 2018
Why Couldn’t Santa Get Down The Chimney?
Why Couldn’t Santa Get Down The Chimney?
00:16
December 25, 2018
What’s Santa’s Favourite Cereal?
What’s Santa’s Favourite Cereal?
00:15
December 25, 2018
Wouldn’t Buy Velcro
Wouldn’t Buy Velcro ...
00:13
December 4, 2018
What Did The Grape Do?
What Did The Grape Do?
00:14
December 3, 2018
Jokes About Retired People
Jokes About Retired People
00:19
November 20, 2018
Why Couldn’t The Bicycle Stand Up?
Why Couldn’t The Bicycle Stand Up By Itself?
00:14
November 19, 2018
How Does a Penguin Build It’s House
How Does a Penguin Build It’s House?
00:23
November 17, 2018
What Do You Call Am Italian With A Rubber Toe
What Do You Call Am Italian With A Rubber Toe?
00:14
November 15, 2018
What Do You Call A Mexican Who’s Lost His Car
What Do You Call A Mexican Who’s Lost His Car?
00:13
November 13, 2018
Spanish Fireman
Did you hear about the Spanish Fireman?
00:15
November 10, 2018
Coffee Police Report
I was just reading a story about a coffee that filed a police report ...
00:15
November 9, 2018
A Joke About Paper
A Joke About Paper?
00:15
November 8, 2018
Pterodactyl Toilet
Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl going to the toilet?
00:15
October 27, 2018
Lose Your Contacts
What happens when your phone looses all its contacts?
00:15
October 26, 2018
Just A Fan
Just a fan, getting in touch, saying how good a job I’m doing. So. Ya’know. 😊
01:17
October 25, 2018
Prison Library
I've been offered a job in a prison library...
00:16
October 4, 2018
What Day Scares Eggs?
What Day Scares Eggs?
00:08
September 27, 2018
Nostalgia
Thats the thing about nostalgia ...
00:08
September 14, 2018
Pictures of Peter Pan
Pictures of Peter Pan
00:10
September 13, 2018
My Wife Told Me I Was Average
My Wife Told Me I Was Average ...
00:10
September 11, 2018
Gullible
Gullible
00:08
September 10, 2018
I Make Up New Words
I make up new words all the time ...
00:10
September 7, 2018
Refusing To Take A Nap
00:08
September 6, 2018
What Do You Call A Can of Soup
What Do You Call A Can of Soup ...
00:09
August 29, 2018
Writing a Joke About Construction
Writing a Joke About Construction ...
00:08
August 28, 2018
Stop Impersonating a Flamingo
Stop Impersonating a Flamingo ...
00:11
August 27, 2018
I Don’t Trust Stairs
I don’t trust stairs anymore ...
00:10
August 17, 2018
Why Are Skeletons So Calm?
Why are skeletons so calm?
00:09
August 15, 2018
Why is 6 Afraid of 7?
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
00:09
August 14, 2018
How Does Steve Get Exercise
How does Steve (from Minecraft) get exercise?
00:09
August 8, 2018
I’m on a Seafood Diet
I'm on a seafood diet actually ...
00:09
August 7, 2018
What Do You Call A Cow With No Legs
What do you call a cow with no legs?
00:08
August 6, 2018
What Did The Zero Say
What did the 0 say to the 8?
00:08
August 4, 2018
What Did The Baby Corn Say?
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
00:09
August 3, 2018
Slept Like a Baby
I slept like a baby last night ...
00:10
August 2, 2018
Slept Like a Log
I slept like a log last night ...
00:07
August 1, 2018
Whiskey Diet
I'm on a new whiskey diet ...
00:08
July 26, 2018
Why Was the Big Cat Disqualified
Why was the big cat disqualified from the olympics?
00:05
July 24, 2018
What Did The Daddy Spider Say
What did the daddy spider say to the baby spider?
00:06
July 23, 2018
3 DVDs Back to Back
Last night a friend and I watched 3 DVDs back to back ...
00:08
July 21, 2018
Sandwich Walks Into A Bar
A sandwich walks into a bar ...
00:06
July 20, 2018
Deleting My German Friends
I've deleted all my German friends from my mobile phone contacts ...
00:08
July 19, 2018
Giving Away Dead Batteries
I decided to give my dead batteries away today ...
00:06
July 18, 2018
Termite Walks Into A Bar
A termite walks into a bar ...
00:05
July 13, 2018
My Dogs Got No Nose
My dogs got no nose...
00:09
July 12, 2018
Invisible Man Got Married
The Invisible Man got married to the invisible woman...
00:09
July 11, 2018
Why Do Crabs Never Give
Why do crabs never give to charity...
00:08
July 10, 2018
Giraffe In A Pub
Man takes his giraffe into a pub...
00:18
July 9, 2018
What's E.T. Short For
What’s E.T short for?
00:07
July 7, 2018
Proud Of My Nose
I'm really proud of my nose...
00:07
July 6, 2018
Two Birds Sitting On A Perch
Two Birds sitting on a perch...
00:09
July 5, 2018
What Did One Snowman Say
what did one snowman say to the other...
00:08
July 4, 2018
So Afraid Of Lifts
I've got a friend who's so afraid of lifts...
00:09
July 3, 2018
How Can You Tell An Ant
How can you tell if an ant is a girl or a boy...
00:12
July 2, 2018
I Used to Be Indecisive
I Used to be indecisive ...
00:09
June 29, 2018
How Many Apples
How Many Apples Grow On A Tree ...
00:07
June 28, 2018
Mountain Climbers Baby
My Mate The Mountain Climber Had A Baby ...
00:10
June 27, 2018
Restaurant On The Moon
Restaurant On The Moon...
00:09
June 26, 2018
Why Did The Skeleton Feel Lonely
Why Did The Skeleton Feel Lonely ...
00:10
June 25, 2018
Call Me A Taxi
I Asked My Dad To Call Me A Taxi ...
00:10
June 24, 2018
Can I Watch The TV?
Can I watch the TV? Yes ... but ...
00:09
June 23, 2018
The Original Dad Joke
The original 'Dad Joke' - what's brown and sticky?
00:08
June 22, 2018
What Do You Call A Deer Part 2
What do you call a deer...
00:09
June 21, 2018
What Do You Call A Deer Part 1
What do you call a deer...
00:08
June 21, 2018
Long Time For A Table
Took the family out for dinner and it took a long time to get a table...
00:15
June 20, 2018
At The Barbers
I was at the barbers...
00:11
June 19, 2018
The Biggest Knight
Do you know who the biggest knight is...
00:09
June 18, 2018
Best Way To Communicate With Prison
Do you know the best way to communicate with someone in prison...
00:09
June 17, 2018
A Friend Who Lives In Switzerland
I've got a friend that lives on Switzerland...
00:15
June 16, 2018
Did You Hear About The Scarecrow
Did you hear about the scarecrow that got a medal...
00:09
June 15, 2018
Three Guys Walking Dowm The Street
There were three guys walking down the street...
00:09
June 14, 2018
Alright?
My boy asked me if I was alright...
00:09
June 14, 2018
Job In A Calendar Factory
Growing up I had a job in a calendar factory...
00:11
June 13, 2018
Drove Past A Cemetry
I drove past a cemetery the other day ...
00:12
June 13, 2018
Don't Trust Atoms
Don't trust atoms...
00:10
June 13, 2018
Buying Milk
I was in the supermarket buying milk...
00:14
June 12, 2018
Apple Store Robbery
I saw a robbery at the apple store today ...
00:11
June 12, 2018
Anti Gravity Book
I’m reading a book at the moment about Anti-Gravity...
00:11
June 12, 2018
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