Not Allowed to Die
By Daniel J Maigler
Not Allowed to DieFeb 21, 2023
Should we always forgive?
In this episode we beg for better reviews on apple podcasts and we discuss when not to forgive a relative for bad behavior.
Summer plans to heal and grow
In this episode Mariska and I discuss making a plan for self improvement during the summer and why summer can be the best time to seek mental health treatment in a partial hospitalization program.
Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: boundary setting
in this episode Mariska recovers from her bath and we talk about boundaries with family members.
Tips for College Selection Anxiety
In this episode Mariska and I share some tips about how to think about the process of finding and selecting colleges that families should consider. I deal with this challenge literally every work day as a social worker in public school where over 90% of graduates go to a four year college and I was a guidance counselor for five years of my career. Let me know if you want more college thoughts.
Bikini Anxiety
In this brief episode Mariska and I talk about body dysmorphia and its secondary gains. To be frank we are also checking out new recording software so be patient with us.
Maigler guests on Think Differently Podcast
In this episode Marc Hans of the Think Differently Podcast has me on to talk mental health and Paws for Patrick. Mark's podcast is typically about design and so he has a unique perspective. In addition, we are old friends so it is a fun conversation.
Getting psychedelics to the people who need them with Josh Halu
Josh Halu from PsycheX: PsycheX | Creating a world free of pain. Naturally
Josh joins Mariska and me to share his journey from suicide loss survivor, to West Point and a distinguished military career, through his own mental health struggles and now his founding of a company that helps connect who want to explore psychedelic treatment to options.
Legacy of Ms. Yvonne: be the love you want to see in the world
In this episode Mariska and I talk about the impact of Ms. Yvonne on the lives of my boys when she was their day care teacher, and how she can be an example of how we can share love. Also how we can view legacy when we did not know a person completely.
Also a chance to weigh in on whether regular listeners of this show would like to be known as Mariskavites, Markiskateers, Team Maigler, or something else.
When your therapist hurts your feelings
In this episode Mariska and I explore options for how to react when a therapist hurts a clients feelings in session and how it feels from the therapists end of things.
Parent denial of emotional needs
This week Mariska and I explore how to react when a parent's response to a request for help is to deny that the issue exists.
Challenges of communicating with psychiatrists
In this episode Mariska and I share some dilemmas that my clients have been facing in communicating with their psychiatrists. We talk about why this happens and some work arounds.
In addition, some quick advice to bring up conversations with people you care about regarding loved ones they have lost.
opportunities in conflict
An update on Mariska's teeth, a request for advice from listeners about how they prepare for the end of a pets life, and some lessons from a couple of my clients on how conflict in a relationship can be a blessing and an enhancement to relationships.
side effects of meds and sleep tips
In this episode Mariska and I explore how to think about side effects you may be experiencing when starting a new medication and some ideas of what to do when you cannot fall asleep.
Self Therapy journaling and Did I kill a rabbit?
Happy Boxing Day. In this last episode of 2023 Mariska and I give some tips for how to structure your journaling to act as a bit of a therapist to yourself. Also trigger warning in this episode I talk about hitting a rabbit when driving in my car and how that threatened to take me down a path of nasty magical thinking.
Lying liars who lie
In this episode Mariska and I discuss thinking differently about people who lie to us and why. We also talk about how to be a better manipulator of people, especially when we are manipulating them to help them.
Trauma Dumping vs Healthy Sharing, and the importance of Role Models
Mariska and I discuss the difference between trauma dumping and healthy sharing of traumatic information and experiences. We also touch briefly on the incredible importance of role models and how they can benefit us.
Is my body a time bomb?
In this episode Mariska and I discuss giving Tuesday, how to deal with the fear of very real illness concerns, and supporting people through the loss of beloved pets.
Dr. Anandappa on TMS and Esketamine for treatment resistant depression
Our most prestigious guest to date joins Mariska and I for an exploration of transcranial magnetic stimulation and Esketamine for treatment resistant depression. I have been so curious about both of these forms of treatment so to get an expert on both was incredible!
Dr. Helen Ofosu navigating mental health in corporate culture
Dr. Helen stops by for a chat with Mariska and I about how to navigate the stresses of corporate culture while dealing with mental health challenges.
About-Dr. Helen Ofosu-I/O Advisory Services-Coaching-HR (ioadvisory.com)
How to respond to, "Are you ok?"
What do you do if you are barely keeping it together and people ask you how you are doing? Mariska and I offer a couple of tips of how to respond in a way that is not a lie, but does not invite a lot of probing questions.
Real Monsters, and how to begin to stop them
Mariska and I talk about harassment of women again and the different ways people can feel violated. Trigger warning, episode contains a story of a person who has a violating experience on public transit.
We need to teach the 27/28 well meaning men how to Question, Support, and Interrupt to make sure that violence against women is a given that our society just accepts.
Challenges of interrupting sexual harassment
Today I went to a continuing education seminar on sexual harassment (Mariska was not invited but she knows all she needs to about this topic). It made me reflect on how situations in my life and those of my clients and former students when interrupting sexual harassment was much easier said than done. There are no easy answers here, but maybe a lens on which to view it a little differently.
Sexier before the nose job?
In this episode Mariska and I take on the idea of being "behind" friends, and peers in the race of life. We discuss whether Jennifer Grey looked sexier before she "improved" her nose. We reveal the secret of confidence being born in the knowledge that no person has more or less value to this world than you do. I must warn you, Mariska is very passive aggressively licking her paws in this episode in a shameless plea for you to rate, review, and share the pod.
The importance of Pageboy by Elliot Page
Mariska and I share our full throated endorsement for Elliot Page's memoir PAGEBOY. I toss out the names of a few other celebrity memoirs I love but I spend some time delving into what I get from a celebrity memoir that helps me in expanding my empathy and awareness for more universal experiences. We also get into the challenges of how to feel open to new love when you have survived intimate partner violence or how to approach dating when you are a person who really values intimacy with sex. There is a trigger warning in this episode because the book talks about coercive sexual situations and I make references to that.
Psychological safety and setting boundaries in the work place with Maurice Ducoing
Maurice Ducoing joins Mariska and I to help people in the working world, particularly corporate America, understand their value and how and why psychological safety is being emphasized as a means of preventing turn over and getting the best out of people.
How I decide what to disclose to clients and on podcast
The podcast has been on a bit of a hiatus as I have been dealing with a stressful time of my own. In this episode I share how I decide what to share with clients and the podcast audience about my life and challenges. I also share what some of the coping skills that have been helping me are.
SaveTwo.org, coaching for men and dogs together with Mike Overlie
Mariska thinks Mike Overlie might be our most intelligent guest so far. He helps men to open and up and connect with their feelings by working with them and their dogs at the same time. He has also set up a non-profit to help make this work more accessible to everyone. Home - Save Two
Louise Ashby on appropriate positivity after devastating loss
Louise Ashby shares how after losing her mother to cancer and her dream of an acting career to a horrific car accident that tore off half of her face and led to traumatic brain injury, she was able to not only endure the 28 surgeries and years of healing work (both physical and emotional) but embrace the new opportunities that came with it. She has dedicated her life to helping women and men who need to heal from any challenge and brings her experience and compassion as tools. Mariska was IMPRESSED and we think you will be too.
Author Tyler Wittkofsky on how writers can share their mental health journey
Mariska and I are joined by author and award winning marketing and communications professional shares how he has used his own mental health experiences to create multiple genres of writing and tips that others may want to follow if they would like to tap into their story.
please check out his website at Tyler Wittkofsky – Multi-Genre Author, Mental Health Blogger, and Podcaster
Treating depression with acupuncture with Dr. Alex
Mariska and I are joined by Dr. Alexander Joannou who talks about the incredible mental health impact that transformational acupuncture can have. About Dr. Alex | Dr. Alex Joannou (stickittodepression.com)
D.E.C.I.D.E.
Mariska and I share a framework we use when we are making decisions and we go through a couple of examples for clients of mine who are facing dilemmas from child support payments to supporting a sibling in addictions treatment.
Colin Kingsmill Unpacks Unworthiness
Life Coach and author Colin Kingsmill visits with Mariska and me to talk about the how whole person coaching can help let go of feelings of unworthiness, develop our identity and achieve our goals.
https://colinkingsmill.com/
Rape Crisis Support and a different perspective on adoption with Damonique Richards
Team Maigler Hall of Famer Damonique Richards joins Mariska and me on the podcast to share her experience of adoption and her volunteer work with Resilience where she helped support sexual assault survivors in the ER Home - Resilience (ourresilience.org)
Lie to your Dr. about weed?
In this episode Mariska and I explore the challenges of being honest with doctors about marijuana use. We talk about being assertive in medical and romantic contexts and the dangers for a little old dog of staying in the moment too much.
Coping with My Death Anxiety
In this episode Mariska and I announce my new email dmaiglerlcsw@gmail.com, make a plug for watching/listening to the podcast on Youtube, and talk about how I've been managing a recent bout of death anxiety by using meditation apps like Lets Meditate and Atom, exercising, and reminding myself I've been through this before. We also talk about vasovagal syncope and how one can respond to that.
Audrey Grunst shares the Growth and Resiliency Model and tips for determining right level of care
Mariska and I welcome the incredible dog lover and dynamic CEO, clinician, and author, Audrey Grunst, on to discuss a different approach to therapy that is really accessible and useful for individuals, families, and clinicians.
To learn more check out her book:
Amazon.com: Become Aware: Personal Development Planner (Bee You Personal Development Planners: Bold Color Series): 9798599762812: Grunst, Audrey: Books
And follow Audrey and Simply Bee counseling for tons of great tips on mental health
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simplybeecounseling/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simplybeecounseling
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/simply-bee-counseling/
Should you share your story publicly?
Mariska and I were helping the brother of a student I lost to suicide decide if he wanted to become a public speaker to use his pain to help others. In this episode we talk about how to decide if you should share your story, and how. This episode will not be on Youtube. Currently only my episodes with guests are in the youtube feed. If you want me to change that email me to let me know.
Healing from being adopted and the power of walking to resist temptation with Dallas Goodlet
Dallas Goodlet joins Mariska and me to talk about the hole in his heart that came from being adopted (by a very good family) and how that led to addiction, depression, self loathing and his path to healing, and how he has turned walking into a refuge from temptation and a place to get clarity.
EMDR with Becca Ferguson
Mariska and I finally get to talk to an EMDR practitioner! Becca Ferguson tells us about misconceptions and how EMDR actually works. In addition she is offering you 10% off of her mini courses with the code Not Allowed.
Check out Becca's website and courses: Online Courses, Workshops, & Group Therapy | Becca Ferguson, LPC (beccafergusonlpc.com)
Overcoming Narcissistic Parents with Dr. Praveena
Dr. Praveena works with parental narcissistic abuse victims. She has created a framework known as the Narcissistic Victim Empowerment Technique (NVET) to help victims find the freedom from manipulating and controlling thoughts of toxic parenting. She joins Mariska and me to talk about how to overcome narcissistic parents and partners.
Check out her website: Home - Narcissistic Victim Empowerment Technique (NVET) (dr-praveena.com)
When to challenge when to support?
Lately I have been wrestling with the appropriate time to push clients, question them, challenge them, encourage them, and/or just support them. As a therapist or a friend you want the people you talk to to feel comfortable and safe, but sometimes what a person needs to hear is not comfortable. In this episode Mariska and I delve into some of the challenges I have been facing in working with my clients to find what is appropriate for them each week. Sorry the audio quality is still not back to our old standards but it is improving.
Getting your shit together and laundry done
In this episode we explore several of my clients who are beating themselves up for not having their lives where they want them. Mariska and I hope to give them a way to reframe and have a little less self judgment.
Tips for releasing toxic shame
In this episode Mariska and I discuss some things to think about for therapists, clients, and anyone who is about to consider disclosing something or receiving disclosure of a memory that feels toxic and shameful to the person sharing it.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) with Dana Slowinski of the Family Recovery Center
Mariska and I get the chance to talk to Dana Slowinski, who has been teaching me about DBT for years. Dana is the co-founder of the Family Recovery Centers: https://familyrecoverycenters.com/
This is just a brief overview of DBT to learn more: https://depts.washington.edu/uwbrtc/our-team/marsha-linehan/
When your safe space is violated
When you or people you care about have had their safe space violated how do you not let yourself be consumed by anger and hate for the bullies who did it? In this episode Mariska and I discuss the violation of the privacy of the group room of the school where I work and how that impacts the kids who see that space as a refuge. Lots of references to my favorite movie It's a Wonderful Life.
How a therapist feels after a client suicide attempt
Ever wonder what a therapist is thinking after a client discloses that they made a suicide attempt? Mariska and I talk through my feelings after a recent disclosure.
An inspirational bi-polar journey with Steve Wilson
In this episode Mariska and I talk to author and support group leader Steve Wilson about living with bi-polar disorder for decades and how he has used his experiences to help others by leading support groups. It inspires me to see Steve's 50 year marriage and dedication to maintaining his mental health hygiene.
A link to his book: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/teetering-on-a-tightrope-steven-w-wilson/1142967489
Psychedelics and Mental Health with Nathan Gates
Mariska and I were elated to talk with Nate Gates host of Altered States of Context podcast, to talk about misconceptions and things to consider at the intersection of mental health and psychedelics. I am a genuinely big fan of Nate's perspective and feel like I always learn a lot from him.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/altered-states-of-context/id1574529959
Communicating your pain and Reframing Valentines Day
Mariska and I summarize what several of my clients have been struggling with this week including chronic pain, chronic non-suicidal depression, and writing a victim impact statement for a judge. We also touch at the end of a different way to view Valentines Day as perhaps a reason to celebrate the end of the HOLIDAYS.
Should I call child protective services?
In this episode Mariska and I discuss some things to consider when thinking about calling Child Protective Services (or Department of Children and Family Services in Illinois 1800-25-ABUSE). Never a fun thing to have to consider BUT if you do don't be afraid to consult with us.