Self-Compassionate Professor

Dr. Jennifer Costanza shares her journey from perfectionism, imposter syndrome, intense stress, and difficulty healing to feeling an overall sense of mental and physical well-being. She explains the importance of knowing your body’s stress response and emphasizes how making time to focus on your physical and mental health—finding ways to feel grounded, getting quality sleep, finding joy, etc.—makes you better at your job. Find Jennifer Costanza at https://www.rooted.life/ or @rooted.life on Instagram.

Dr. LuElla D’Amico describes how her own suffering during the tenure process opened up a whole new joyful adventure where she now shows up more fully for her family, her faith, her teaching, her university, her scholarship, her communities, and her own well-being. She offers inspiration, encouragement, and advice for academics who also aspire to be more whole. 

Dr. Victoria Wright shares her own story about leaving academia as a full professor. She now finds herself running the Ph.D. Life Coach Podcast and membership experience, helping PhD students and academics overcome overwhelm and procrastination. This work, as she explains, represents the culmination of having weaved together her research, skills she developed working with Ph.D. students, and the personal calling she answered during the pandemic. Find her podcast, The PhD Life Coach, anywhere you get podcasts as well as on her website at https://www.thephdlifecoach.com/.

This episode is not an interview, but a chat about the experiences of the Highly Sensitive Person, a designation perhaps overrepresented in academia. Drs. Geneviève Taylor and Danielle De La Mare discuss what it looks and feels like to process everything deeply, get overstimulated easily, feel emotions intensely, and notice the subtler parts of life. We also explore both the gifts and drawbacks of having a sensitive nervous system and ways we practice self-acceptance and self-compassion.

Our pausing practice is perhaps the most important part of creating more career wellness in our work, yet we don't have a social structure that supports pausing. In this episode, I discuss ways you might begin to think about pausing, how to structure an ongoing pausing practice, and the benefits of pausing for career wellness. During this seasonal transition, I hope you pause, detox, and declutter. Happy Equinox!

Kelly Miller tells the story about how her identity was deeply entangled with her work, the toxic work environment she found herself in, the suffering that ensued when she left the work, and the breakthrough that happened next. Kelly explains that her faith as well as her work with both the Enneagram and Primal Questions built a foundation for her to leap into the next chapter of her career. While she continues to heal, Kelly now actively leans into new places, people, and ideas that serve her new way of being in the world. Find Kelly Miller at https://www.kellymiller.co/ as well as @socialkellymiller on Instagram and TikTok and Kelly Miller on LinkedIn.

Paul Weigel talks about what it means to be authentic, true, and connected in both work and personal life. We explore what it looks like to make space for ourselves as well as others in the classroom and in other spaces. We also talk about the courage it takes to show up authentically, be present to deeper meaning in each moment, and hold work/life gently. Find Paul’s book, Iron Dad here.

Dr. Mary Mirvis discusses how her unconventional academic career is taking shape and her faith in the journey. First, we talk about writing: the huge role writing has played in her life since childhood, how she used writing to heal from burnout, and how journal-type writing has strengthened the relationship she has to her research. Second, we talk about the purposeful career: finding joy, openness, and freedom in the everyday as well as leaning into your career desires, even when they’re not culturally sanctioned. Find Mary at https://mary.mirv.is/. 

Dr. Shiri Noy explains how creating systems to manage research is essential to individual researcher well-being as well as a necessary practice for maintaining the health and integrity of academic research more broadly. In short, Shiri encourages researchers to think and talk more about project management so that we can find ways to feel more confident and less stressed in our research, do work that is best aligned to our values and ethics, as well as maintain/improve the health of our broader disciplinary fields and institutions. Find Dr. Shiri Noy as well as information about her book, Project Management for Researchers: A Practical, Stress-Free Guide to Getting Organized, at https://www.shirinoy.com/.

Happy Solstice! In this episode, I discuss what mean by solstice-inspired rest, why you should rest over the winter break, how to rest, and what to do if you find rest difficult. Overall, rest can do magic, but takes courage, especially for academics. I have a wish that you practice trusting the process.

Dissertation coach, Dr. Jen Harrison, explains how certain cultural and structural issues prevent professors and institutions from fully supporting their grad students in their writing process. She names a number of issues including an "inside-outside" problem whereby academia does not want to accept help from those outside institutions. In the end, both grad students and professors find themselves bearing the weight of such problems, but Jen offers recommendations to improve conditions for all. Specifically, she discusses the power of writing groups. Find Dr. Jen Harrison at https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harrison-rwp/.

Michelle Grosser describes her journey toward a more regulated nervous system, explains how to communicate safety to our bodies so that we feel more whole, more alive, and more intentional in our lives, and describes simple strategies for regulation. Find Michelle Grosser at https://michellegrosser.com/.

After a 27-year career in academia where she had been promoted to full professor, served as chair, as well as served as Associate Dean of Research at her institution, Dr. Martha Mitchell explains that she was ready for something new. Currently working as a manager at a national laboratory for approximately one year now, she has found the new work and new environment to be energizing, inspiring, collaborative, and exciting. In this role, she is also able to continue doing parts of the work she loved as an academic, namely leadership and mentoring. Find Dr. Martha Mitchell on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/martha-mitchell-45a69a8/

In this authentic and inspiring conversation, Dr. Azucena Verdín tells us about how she once did not like the ways she moved in the world, struggled with self-compassion, and easily spiraled into rumination. For a time, she believed leaving her academic career was the answer until she realized--after identifying the role anxiety was playing in her life--that she was only running from herself. She now belongs more fully to herself and is able to work and live with a much quieter mind than in the past. Find her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/azucena-verd%C3%ADn-phd-743605268/

You're invited to feel into Fall 2024 and let the new season teach you something! In this episode, I acknowledge the heaviness of fall semester and describe how you can "tap" some of this heaviness away. As you widen your vision and see your life beyond your academic responsibilities and feel connected to something bigger, you are better able to welcome a new season and approach it with intention. Happy Equinox!

Dr. David Weill shares his story about quitting his job—at the prime of his career—as the Director of the Heart-Lung Transplant Program at Stanford. Wanting more balance and a more contemplative life, he says, “I had a real sense that it was time to go.” He now writes in the mornings and does consulting work with transplant hospitals in the afternoons. His new novel about a transplant doctor, All That Really Matters, just came out.   

Dr. Yvette Martinez-Vu shares her childhood realization that anything can happen and discusses how this insight has shaped her career and life. She describes difficult times where she felt unwell in her work and in her body, explaining that in each situation--from burnout to a covid-inspired career pivot--she continually chose her own wellness and wholeness. Yvette emphasizes the importance of self-trust, leaning on her own values, the strength embedded in her support system, and the resources available to her through the privileges she has been afforded. Find Dr. Yvette Martinez-Vu on LinkedIn, Instagram @gradschoolfemtoring, and https://gradschoolfemtoring.com/.

Dr. Katharine Stewart shares her story about choosing to leave her position as Sr. Vice Provost and return to faculty, explaining that while she loves her administrative work, she also loves (and misses) her work as a teacher and scholar. Katharine urges academics to let their values lead, to bring their whole selves to their work, to honor the career seasons they find themselves in, and to foster trust among those they work with. From this place, she tells us, we thrive and our institutions of higher education also thrive.

Dr. Sheena Howard tells how the president of her institution called faculty into a room and announced the shut down of certain departments and the letting go of certain faculty. She describes the experience as scary and eye-opening, realizing that even though she was able to keep her job this time, that may not always be the case. From there, Sheena invested herself in building side hustles. She now teaches other faculty how to brand themselves for increased income. Find Sheena at on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsheenahoward/ or email her at sheena@poweryourresearch.com.

Happy Solstice! This episode kicks off the Summer 2024 season. I describe the importance of using the solstice as a natural stepping stone toward your career wellness destination--a time where you can reflect on where you are and where you're going. I offer one strategy to doing seasonal discernment and invite you to try it on for yourself: block off discernment time in your calendar, select a yes/no question about your career wellness destination, open space for answers to emerge, and once you have the answer, make plans to take action in the direction of your answer.

Dr. Jia urges us to create more space in our careers and lives: space for recovery, rest, compassion, self-compassion, and more. She shows us that space is not absence, but presence. Find Dr. Jia at publishedMD.com or email her at info@PublishedMD.com

Dr. Felice Russell describes how she navigated the difficult relationship she has always had with academia, leaning on self-trust, leaps of faith, and one-degree shifts to make the many career decisions that have gotten her to the place she is now: a school librarian who feels settled and content both at work and at home. Find Dr. Felice Russell on LinkedIn. Sign up for coffee chats at https://danielledelamare.com/.

Marny Requa explains that life transitions such as becoming a parent and menopause are not just short-term changes and then everything returns to "normal." They are major life transitions that deserve to be acknowledged, honored, and planned for. However, as Marny explains, we are not doing these things well on institutional, cultural, nor societal levels. She tells her own story about how she internalized these larger societal notions as a professor transitioning into parenthood, the challenges it presented, and the importance of giving ourselves grace. Marny also shows the huge positive impact available to our society if we shift our thinking and see life transitions for what they are (see the resources she mentions below). Find Marny at mrequa@gmail.com, on Instagram @worklifeshifts , or  linkedin.com/in/marny-requa Marny offers these resources for exploring this topic further: Nancy Schlossberg on life transitions: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gYXeH2MnzatL3oIeglQGG_kRDBLIx5-l/view  Neuroplasticity & father's brains: Abraham et al academic article linked here: https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.1402569111 Slate article on neuroplasticity that mentions the above research here: https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/06/fatherhood-makes-men-better-at-work-and-at-home-research-shows.html Center for Parental Leave Leadership website for resources on support during parental leave: https://cplleadership.com/ North American Menopause Society: https://www.menopause.org/

"Time is so precious," says Dr. Martha Kenney. In this episode, Martha describes the importance of finding your why--a process of pausing, going inward, getting re-acquainted with yourself, and naming your values. Once you know your why, you can allocate your time accordingly, aligned to the intentions you have for your life. Martha explains that her faith softened her to this process. And ultimately, as she explains, time management cannot work well until you know your purpose.

Happy Equinox!! Welcome to the Spring 2024 Season of Self-Compassionate Professor! First, I talk about how honoring the change of seasons invites a more intentional approach to work and life generally: 1) helps us to see beyond the academic calendar, 2) opens us to a sense of spaciousness, 3) gives us a sense of "punctuation" between seasons, 4) gives us permission to let go and let the seasons inform our timelines, and 5) anchors our daily, weekly, and monthly planning in seasonal goals, strengthening our commitment to seasonal goals. Secondly, I discuss the importance of detoxing (broadly defined) during early spring so as to ready yourself for the season.

Dr. Dan Lair, Associate Dean of Faculty and Student Affairs at the Metropolitan State University of Denver, talks about the benefits of perceiving our academic work as “just a job.” Specifically, Dan explains what work means to him, the pitfalls of tying your job to your identity, the impact overwork by his academic spouse (me!) has had on him, and surprising findings from his institution’s attempt to address faculty workload issues. He shares simple advice for dealing with overwhelm and breaking the culture of busyness. 

Burnout and betrayal expert, Lora Cheadle, discusses how self-betrayal often masquerades as burnout, how we can begin the process of healing from self-betrayal, and how to "dance" our way to authenticity.

Dr. Cynthia Ganote describes hiding her artistic interests in graduate school, believing that if her academic community found out that she sang, acted, and danced, she would not be taken seriously. When she took her tenure-track job, she put all of her energy and effort into it, letting go of her artistic work completely. While on the outside, Cynthia’s academic career appeared incredibly successful, on the inside, her spirit was dying. Cynthia describes the messages her body was sending at that time and how she came to eventually listen. In this way, Cynthia stresses the importance of “internal belonging”—belonging to yourself, behaving authentically, and letting the messages coming from within guide you in the career discernment process. Find Dr. Cynthia Ganote at cynthia@drcynthiaganote.com.  And join us in the SELF-COMPASSIONATE PROFESSORS Facebook group! 

No matter the career decisions in front of you--big or small--making choices from a place of wellness is key to paving a self-compassionate career path. We invite wellness when we invite slowness, connection to self, and connection to inner wisdom. Find your own self-compassionate career path in the Sabbatical Program, which begins September 1, 2023. Register here: https://danielledelamare.com/?page_id=1047

I explain how to know when boundary work is needed, how to use Christina Maslach's six sources of chronic stress (workload, values, reward, control, fairness, community) to find your boundary gaps, and I offer a meditation by Karla McLaren about how to feel an embodied sense of boundaries. Please remember to leave a review of the podcast!

As she prepares to leave one career behind and pivot full-time to another, Dr. Cara Jones describes experiencing a "busy season" in her career. In her academic job as a tenured associate professor, she sets strong boundaries to protect herself from excess nervous system dysregulation while also approaching her work with as much integrity as possible. In her blossoming work as an Internal Family Systems (IFS) practitioner, she experiences great spaciousness, a sense of timelessness, and a path to healing both herself and her clients. Cara also describes the general theory of IFS. Find her at https://www.integratingscatteredparts.com/.

Happy Solstice! Today I discuss why pausing and feeling into your career vision every solstice and equinox creates a solid structure on which your vision may take shape in the "real world." I also explain how to do your own summer solstice planning session this season and in the future. Find out more about the Sabbatical Program here: https://danielledelamare.com/?page_id=1047

Self-trust is an essential foundation on which one builds a self-compassionate career path. When we cannot trust ourselves to make decisions grounded in wellness, we can feel helpless, hyper-vigilant, or both, and get stuck in an unhealthy response cycle. In this episode, I discuss how we can break the cycle of distrust within ourselves in three major ways: 1) feeling the discomfort of unhealthy responses in our bodies, 2) choosing to connect deeply to something we care about, and in this pivot away from the unhealthy choice, 3) celebrate our commitment to ourselves and our own career wellness. I argue that when we run through these steps over and over again, we begin to create a neural pathway of self-trust and in time, choosing career wellness becomes our default. (Register for the Mindful Self-Compassion workshop series here: https://danielledelamare.com/?page_id=1066)

In this episode, I explain how walking a self-compassionate career path is extremely difficult, but how doing the work can help you to feel supported in mind, body, and spirit. I also describe my list of "ingredients" for paving such a path: 1) naming honestly your wants/desires for your career, 2) connecting regularly to self, 3) noticing intent when you agree to do something new in your work, 4) setting boundaries, 5) welcoming rest, silence, and slowness in your life/career, 6) being witnessed in a community. Also, you may register for the "Mindful Self-Compassion for Academics" workshop series here (https://danielledelamare.com/?page_id=1066).

Dr. Toyosi Onwuemene describes how healing from her people-pleasing behavior impacted the dynamics of her relationships at work, how she learned to find more supportive spaces and leave behind toxic ones, how she now invests in herself and those around her, and what she means by "fighting" for her career. Find Dr. Toyosi Onwuemene on Facebook and LinkedIn as well as Instagram @coagcoach.

I re-release my 2021 interview with Dr. Angela Gist-Mackey. She explains that her career journey began in advertising, but eventually she realized that not only was academia a better fit for her, it paved a path for her to fulfill a larger purpose. While in her advertising career, she experienced bullying by supervisors and was struck by the sharp differences in the organizational cultures in which she worked. Angela was fascinated by these organizational dynamics and so began her PhD in organizational communication some years later. Now, as a tenured professor at the University of Kansas, Angela has much wisdom to share about the career wellness lessons she has learned over the years. At the core of it all though, her sense of legacy and purpose steers her career as both a professor and co-founder of her family business. Find Dr. Angela Gist-Mackey at https://angelagistmackey.weebly.com/ or https://www.mackeyconsultingllc.com/. 

Professor of STEM Education at the University of Colorado and creator of the Whole Professor Project Blog, Dr. Erin Furtak tells the origin story of her blog, the epiphany she had that her approach to work was exacerbating her migraines, her commitment to feeling whole, and her ongoing journey to feeling well. Erin insists that wellness among academics is an important conversation that must be sustained. Find and subscribe to the Whole Professor Project at https://wholeprofessorproject.net/ and find Dr. Erin Furtak at https://www.colorado.edu/education/erin-marie-furtak. (Register for the "digest, rest, and envision" workshop series at https://selfcompassionateprofessor.com/).

I offer an update about Dr. Melva Robertson's academic career as well as re-release her 2021 interview. In it, she describes both her research about Covid and the Great Resignation as well as her own career pivot into academia after the Covid pause provided ample reflection time and insight. Melva explains that self-care, mental health, and finding calm are foundational pieces to career transition. Find her at http://www.melvarobertson.com/. (Register for the "digest, rest, and envision" workshop series here.)

Dr. Geneviève Taylor, Associate Professor of Career Counseling at the University of Quebec in Montreal, discusses the foundational role mindfulness has played in her career wellness journey, saving her time, inviting clarity and creativity to her work, helping her to set boundaries with ease, among other benefits. Find Geneviève at https://professeurs.uqam.ca/professeur/taylor.genevieve/.

Check in with yourself, take a self-compassion break, and sign up for the FREE "Digest, Rest, and Envision" workshop series May 23-25, 2023. Register here: https://danielledelamare.com/?page_id=1066

I announce my FREE workshop series, "Digest, Rest, and Envision," which will be offered May 23, May 24, and May 25 in one-hour sessions. Tuesday's workshop will help you to process emotions left over from the academic year. Wednesday's workshop will help you to rest and trust the process of rest. Thursday's workshop will help you to envision a new way of doing your career, based on wellness and self-compassion. In this episode, I also offer a strategy to navigate end-of-semester stress: 1) Climbing back into your body, 2) Feeling and listening to your emotions, 3) Finding trust that this process is time well spent, and 4) Taking Martha Beck's "3Bs" strategy (bag it, barter it, better it) to your to-do list. You may find the written version of this guide as well as my upcoming career wellness workshops here: https://danielledelamare.com/ 

Dr. Kimine Mayuzumi discusses her graduate school journey as an advocate for change in academia, her research and blog writing about the need for academics to slow down and be lazy, and how academics may apply elements of the Japanese Tea Ceremony to their work so they can come to enjoy their work more. Find the blog post she refers to here:  https://lazyslowdown.com/where-are-our-feelings-of-guilt-and-shame-coming-from/. Find Kimine at https://lazyslowdown.com/. Sign up for Kimine's free "anxiety to serenity" session at https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/appointment/lazyslowdown/anxiety2serenity

I describe the ways academic institutions socialize us into deficit thinking where we often come to believe we are not enough. And while having a deficit thought or story is not a problem in and of itself, believing such stories and allowing them to drive our careers is a big problem. I talk about how to disrupt this type of thinking as well as how to regulate your nervous system when you find yourself in a fight/flight state due to deficit thinking. Enroll for the sabbatical program here: https://danielledelamare.com/?page_id=1047

In this interview conducted by Dr. Sanne Frandsen in her Facebook group, Next Level Career Community for Women in Academia, Sanne interviews Dr. Patrice Buzzanell. Patrice explains what led her to academia, how her motherhood journey began in graduate school, her struggles, and the great success she has enjoyed overall in her academic career while also raising six children. Patrice also discusses her research about motherhood, women, and career as well as her experiences of being truly lit up by the coming together of her research in a way she had not imagined. Find Dr. Patrice Buzzanell at pmbuzzanell@usf.edu and Dr. Sanne Frandsen at https://www.sannefrandsen.com/ or find her Facebook group. Reach out to me, Danielle De La Mare, on LinkedIn or email me at danielle@selfcompassionateprofessor.com.

Continuing with our theme of connections, I discuss how all roads lead back to Dr. Sanne Frandsen! In this episode, I introduce Sanne as next week's guest host and tell several fun stories of connection and coincidence. I also re-release my interview with Sanne where she describes the power of narrative, explaining how many of our career problems manifest from the stories we tell ourselves. She offers two specific examples: how feelings of inadequacy and time poverty are often issues of mindset and can likely be managed by telling a new story. Sanne also explains that in career crises, people must navigate through messy and ongoing narrative changes until they are able to find something that fits. Find Dr. Sanne Frandsen at https://www.sannefrandsen.com, on LinkedIn at Sanne Frandsen, and in her Facebook group, Next Level- Career Community for Women in Academia, a group open to academic women anywhere in Europe.

In the spirit of connecting to those beyond our immediate circles, I re-release my interview with Dr. Alex Ketchum, author of Engage in Public Scholarship: A Guidebook on Feminist and Accessible Communication. Alex explains the value of engaging in public scholarship--a hopeful message for individual scholars, the academy generally, as well as society at large. She also describes her own experiences doing public scholarship, the need for broader engagement with academic research in our society, as well as the risks and challenges of doing such work. Follow Dr. Alex Ketchum on Twitter: @ketchum22.

Originally airing on the Papa PhD Podcast with David Mendes, this episode represents our "connections" theme for the month of March 2023.  "...an incredibly insightful conversation about the impostor phenomenon in academia and beyond with Marc Reid, PhD, author of You Are Not a Fraud – A Scientist’s Guide to the Imposter Phenomenon. Imposter feelings are ubiquitous in graduate school and throughout your career, especially after pivots into a new position or a new space. Marc has put a lot of thought into this question and was generous enough to come on the show to share his experience dealing with imposter feelings and what drove him to write a book on the subject." Find Dr. Marc Reid here: https://www.dr-marc-reid.com/book and find Dr. David Mendes and the Papa PhD Podcast here: https://papaphd.com/show-notes/. 

Dr. David Mendes, creator and host of the Papa PhD Podcast, explains when and why he began the podcast, the waves of uncertainty he has undergone throughout his career, how he has transformed, and how meaningful conversations have fueled his transformation. Also, catch my interview with David on the Papa PhD podcast on March 2, 2023! Find David on Twitter and Instagram at @papaphdpodcast, on LinkedIn at David Mendes, Papa PhD, or on YouTube at Papa PhD.  (For those seeking greater career wellness, schedule a 20-minute consult with Danielle De La Mare here: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18296021&appointmentType=11383525)

Dr. James Hedges, Dean of the Division of Online and Continuing Education at Weber State University in Ogden, Utah, discusses his career journey from faculty to administration. He also offers lessons learned: chaos can create opportunities, negotiation and confidence is key, discussing workplace issues with colleagues is important and therapeutic, and opening to and accepting ambiguity and failure is necessary, among others.

Corona Pritchard discusses how the burnout she experienced in her work was largely due to organizational dysfunction, her decision to make a career pivot, and the challenges around identity she encountered when she arrived in her new position. She also discusses what a healthy organization looks like as well as how to implement wellness practices into your life. Corona too asks us to consider this difficult question: "How would it change the way you approach your work if you understood that your first job was to be the healthiest person in the room?" Find Corona Pritchard at https://www.coronapritchard.com/. Also, find her on LinkedIn and Instagram. (Schedule a consult with Danielle De La Mare here: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18296021&appointmentType=11383525.)