CALL OF BOOTY with Sid & Devi

Today's romance scene might be better than ever & we might be ruining it by playing games with our very own selves! On this episode we discuss "Prevalence Induced Concept Change" and the amount of mental re-framing we can employ on a daily basis to improve our love lives. 

Follow along:

- Tinder is versatile af

- Your threshold for happiness

- Nothing is wrong = something is wrong

- Equal opportunity arguments

- Calm fight prevention, nah, can't relate

- Technology doesn't suck but you do

- Scrolling & trolling the newsfeed

- Jay & Bey are fighting like dogs & cats too

- We are chasing the wrong thing

- Content but no context

- Those fucking travel couples!!

- Your online activity needs some regulation

- These algorithms are getting the best of me

- Social media detox & cleanse

- Does eating more count as higher productivity?

- The upside to divorce

- Redefining "failed marriage"

- Unhappy together vs unhappy alone

- Even toxic relationships give you direction

Love Is Blind, But This Pod Is Lit!! Sid has indulged us by joining in on Netflix's 'Love is Blind' viewing frenzy & some late night texts of his incredulity has inspired this episode. You don't need to watch all 10 episodes, consider this the spark notes. 

Oh, and Welcome to Season 3 of Call of Booty.

- When you want in on the group chat

- Oh, it's real

- There's too many choices, I'm fatigued

- Now I'm doing a 180

- This is how they do down in the ATL

- Gilligan's Island up in here

- Your odor matters

- The most offensive person at the gym

- The most hated cast member of all time

- Why do players prevail?

- To challenge and be a challenge

- The next cities this show needs to be in

- What Love Is Blind LA, SF & NY would be like

- Is it just me or is it the editing?

- Our predictions of whose gonna last

- Drunk AF here in my pod

- Who really needs to be hosting this show tho

- Payday stats, we need to know

- Ok, ok, fine, I can be bought

- The purest dating show you'll ever see

- Key phrases that will get you far in life

- How to survive in Japan

Not only are we tolerating bad societal & dating behavior, we're perpetuating it. In this episode, we talk the major problems & some solid solutions.

Let's get down to it:

- Fake Lesbians

- The men suck movement

- Major tangent alert! courtesy of Sid

- Your childhood is ruining your dating life

- Human adaptation is too good that now it's bad

- "She's crazy" tangent (it's only Tuesday & it's been a long week)

- The most bothersome behavior

- Britney vs Christina

- Flirty girlfriends

- Why it doesn't pay to be a "cool girl"

- "He should do that" entitlement

- When you take advice from viral memes

- Men x materialism: the epidemic

- The VERY BEST way to put a superficial man in his place

- The psychology behind "u up?" texts

- People are not Postmates

- How to respond to a "u up?" text

- Don't blame it on the crazy

- Don't underestimate the impact

- The #1 reason for cheating

- Once again, our jobs are killing our romantic lives

- Is your marriage to your career or spouse?

- Unacceptable condom behavior

- Be willing to lose if he does THIS

- This is the change we need!

- Free product endorsement

She don't need you, she don't need nobody. But is this phenomenon a good or bad thing?

We weigh in:

- Can't have your cake & eat it too

- We need some hard & fast rules

- Feminists still want you to pay for their meal

- We're teaching our girls the wrong thing

- Men are getting cut out of the equation

- The New Rebellion

- Can't stand each other --> Understand each other

- What "free meals" are really all about

- We're conditioning a monster

- The ever-existing sexual double standard

- The bigger the body count, the bigger the issues

- The slut shame game

- What their sexual past means

- The Goldilocks number on your body count

- New trend alert: eunuch-shaming

- Be fucking grateful

- We are walking memes

- Bad dating habits we need to retire

- Are we actually trying to be together?

- There's some anger below the surface

- Vengeance on the one person that did you dirty

- It's not a competition

- Never say this again about women

We might be tired of our dating culture here, so what exactly is it like overseas?? What can men (and women) learn from our European counterparts? Join in & taste the foreign flavor with us & a special guest in this episode.

We're covering:

- Texting styles of the foreigners

- Cut out the BS wit a binary dating system

- Commit first, get to know them later

- Commitment-phobic, vet-happy Americans

- How the continents play hard to get

- The sweet side of ghosting

- Good ol' American work hard, play hard (to get)

- A culture of suspicion

- Which country is noticeably sexually charged

- Being PC kills sexuality

- Not everything is #metoo

- Is that a compliment or a come-on?

- (way too) Independent, wit liberty & justice for all...

- How the continents showcase masculinity

- European geographical advantages

- The Scandinavian countries are on to something

- Oh those foreign languages

- Ladies first: women making the first move

- For the last time, friendliness is not always flirtation

- Compliments that won't get misinterpreted

- What romance looks like in America

- The emotionless epidemic in this country

- Which cultures are nailing passion

- The wrong outfit for a movie

- The real reason for man purses

- An in-depth look at man buns

- The actual thing that makes a difference in your sex life

- Sexual wisdom & awareness

- Trending porn by country

- The red light districts

- Sex & religion can coexist

We also reference this lovely article:

https://www.pornhub.com/insights/2018-year-in-review#countries

It's a new decade & we're settling the hierarchy of relationship priority once & for all. Inspired by this article, "The Uncomfortable Truth About Who You Should Love Most (Between Your Spouse, Your Parents, And Your Kids)", we weigh lover, parents, kids, friends, job & hobby. Hint: Love gets top billing.

Topics covered:

- Never buy the warranty

- The craziest Costco returns

- Societal conditioning doesn't actually value romance

- Career is the real lover here

- The "grandfathered-in" trap

- Your hierarchy of priority determines your relationship compatibility

- The biggest modern parenting mistake

- When you're married to your parents

- Why you need to hit the town

- When your family is your baggage

- Do you choose your lover or your family?

- Your awkward double-life

- Is unconditional love actually bullshit?

- Why we need to stop saying this whole "dicks before chicks" thing

- Our possessive friends

- Define a "real relationship"

- Job vs friends

- Friends are the first to go... but they circle back around

- You bettah organize

- The checks & balances of your social life

- It's time to kiss your hobby goodbye

- Fuck it, the gym wins everything

- Life is a web, not a ladder #deep

Article link: https://thoughtcatalog.com/matthew-fray/2017/07/the-uncomfortable-truth-on-if-you-should-love-your-spouse-your-parents-or-your-children-most/

Ever caught yourself thinking, "isn't it weird that we dating but we ain't communicating"? You're definitely not alone. It's the age of communication breakdown & we're talking solutions on this episode.

- non-practical self-pardoning

- 'tis the season when all is forgiven

- fatass is a lifestyle

- if someone tells you thisabout their texting, dump em

- appropriate communication frequency when first dating

- when not texting for 24 hours is rude

- avoiding the double-text

- why there's no way to avoid a certain amount of game playing

- best ways to restart no-replies

- the art of timing & subtlety in sexting

- sexting yourself into a corner

- the classic thing guys do allll the time, don't be that guy

- sexual comments that you can get away with

- why faking it through sexting is the best option

- statement-making emojis

- k vs kk

- the most passive aggressive emoji

- voice-to-text mishaps will get you in trouble

- best ways to cover up auto-text mishaps

- the one thing you must do when your friend sexts you by accident

- diversifying modes of communication

- how to stand out on text

- 15 minute phone calls will change your life

- liven things up wit custom memes

- thoughts on the "pop in"

- the one thingthat let's you get away with anything

- good communication is a base need

Turkey Drop is the infamous time of year during the holiday season where people end relationships. Are you considering a breakup or trying to safeguard yourself from one? Tune in, because this is the episode for you.

Convo pieces we're cooking up:

- which times of the year clock in w/ the highest breakup rates

- solo during the holidays

- legit reasons to fake it through the holidays with someone

- why emailing your divorce request is okay

- warm up family & friends for your Turkey Drop

- pros & cons of breaking up before the holidays

- relationships that are the most susceptible to holiday breakups

- holidays are the most introspective time of the year!

- the most ethical way to breakup

- the worst type of guilt

- prepare yourself for Turkey Drop aftermath

- holiday rebound hookups

- let's really assess the point of fruitcake tho

- ways to save a dying relationship

- there's levels to these red flags

- the subtle ramifications of cheating

- employing fights as a reset button

- when your exit strategy backfires

- tolerance for game playing by decade

- Amazon saves the day yet again

Passion. We know what it is but we don't know how to explain it. Is it a missing ingredient in your relationship? Find out! In this episode we discuss:

- Another example of why Sid should never do the intro

- Passion: a history

- Friction, as it relates to passion

- Can sexuality & passion be separate?

- Passion is action-oriented

- What makes passion so attractive

- Defining passion & what it looks like in a relationship

- Sustaining passion in long term relationships

- The timelessness of passion

- Nostalgia works in your favor

- The BEST way to create healthy friction

- Passionate relationships don't always equal good relationship

- Passion needs parameters

- Why you need some mild conflict in your life

- Starting fights on purpose

- The good side of jealousy

- Name that cartoon

- The #1 reason why we want passion

- The one thing you cannot schedule into your day

- If your relationship isn't passionate, do THIS

- The thing you should do once a month

- 3 must-have things your relationship can't be without

- Conversational chemistry

Jaded & empty or resentful & predictable, which is the lesser of the 2 evils? There's obviously a sunny side to both options so we're building & debating the case for each like the 2 open-minded diplomats we are. In this episode we're breaking down what leads to happiness & fulfillment, no matter what your relationship status is. Topics covered:

- Now you can be even shadier on IG

- Getting stalked makes life exciting

- Swearing off any one thing is never effective

- Why being single is exciting

- Single & Spontaneous

- Having options

- The necessary revamp coming-of-age phase we all go through

- The small % of your life you're actually single

- Marriage & social validation

- The things you can get away wit when you're single vs married

- Married men live longer & we got stats to prove

- What male group chats are actually like

- The best parts of romantic fulfillment

- Long term potential is clear from the beginning

- When laughter is a problem

- Marriage has a spectrum

- Data analysis on your sex life

- Thoughts on scheduling in sex

- Resentful sex

- How to easily forgive your partner

- The obvious key to world peace

- When you're single & questioning your existence

- Societal pressure on women

- Feeling jaded & empty

- The numbers game involved to finding the one

- Carrying someone's baggage

- The surprisingly nice reason why marriage makes you less tolerant

- A realistic glimpse into married life

- Getting severely impacted by your partner's life decisions

- When to prioritize your own goals vs your marriage

- What open marriages are actually for

- Competitive open marriages

Devi got married last weekend & Sid officiated her wedding as all good friends do. We were all barefoot & beachside, did the thing organically with no rehearsal, so naturally, we're now full of the most solid advice. We discuss the highlights, the current state of marriage, long distance & yet another entrepreneurial idea! In this episode:

- True friends will officiate your wedding

- The financial damage of weddings

- Do you really need an $8,000 wedding dress?

- The current state of divorce rates

- Upcoming big business: divorces!

- You're doing your wedding planning wrong if you do this

- Our culture of insecurity

- Get your finances right

- Why officiating is harder than stand-up comedy

- Wedding script highlights + Jay & Bey get a nod

- How much men actually care about a wedding

- Marriage & societal conditioning

- The real reason for big, elaborate weddings

- Angry wedding planning

- To change or not change your last name

- What people don't tell you about marriage

- That rock on your hand is some liability

- Horrifying stats about ring insurance

- Non-negotiable wedding splurges

Busting a nut is evolution in a nutshell when you're banging like it's your last time on earth. We're discussing the injuries that come from this, fun themed days like Oral Sex Fridays & why sex injuries should be covered by insurance. More of the low down on this episode:

- Does sex actually feel like fucking an apple pie?

- What you can do with a Taco Bell bean burrito other than eat it

- When your balls take a beating

- How to still have fun when healing from a sex injury

- Health Net better open up their plan to cover sex injuries

- Should ball sucking be 1 at a time?

- How guys actually feel about tea bagging

- Sex pain & injuries are forgivable

- What to do when you can't carry the chick up in the air

- Doggy style & it's many injuries

- Keeping boners takes more effort than you think

- Female sex drive sustainability

- Getting raw & a PSA for cutting your damn nails

- It burns when you pee

-  A broken nut is better than having zika

- Passing out in the shower

- Yes, you can hurt your tongue during oral

- Slips into the wrong hole & other down for the count moves

- Death by sex

- Piercings are too high maintenance

- Leave your pets out of the bedroom

Introducing the "Wildcard Date Movement", dishing on DILFs, dating trends, discrimination & all the ways to get you to expand your horizon and date outside your comfort zone. In this episode:

- prototype discrimination beyond race

- creepy astrology types are more common than you think

- you're too comfortable

- what 90% of women on dating apps include in their bio

- there's more to them than their prototype

- even the best of us are too judgmental

- intentionally date outside of comfort zone

- attention-getting buzzwords for that dating profile

- WITHOUT FAIL, the first question you get asked when dating someone new

- when your friends date outside their type

- the question guys never ask eachother

- their diet is a type

- superficial reasons you're not dating someone

- white people brownie points: how white people win respect in dating

- let's put dick size stereotypes to rest

- Diving into FPS

- DILF's = Trendy Prototypes for 2019 & beyond

- discriminatory things you encounter in dating

- it turns out, men use make-up too

Sometimes it's innocent, occasionally it's intentional, every so often it's inevitable, but almost all the time - your ex reappearing isn't good news. In this episode we're talking:

- Poll: spit vs swallow

- Fixing your iron deficiency with sex

- When your ex re-emerges & infiltrates your life

- Dissecting someone's motive

- Do you confront or ignore exes that are in your space?

- You can't expect people to be like you

- How to deal when your ex ruins your favorite spot

- Opening up your violent third eye

- The famous lines of Tupac

- Having fun making problems for your ex

- Stalking situations

- When they no longer serve a purpose in your life

- Do they deserve the benefit of the doubt?

- When an ex has to stay in your life for mandatory reasons (kids, etc)

- How exes are like amputations

- It's easier to walk away from straight up assholes

- Dual custody of pets = unnecessary

- Breakups that divide friend groups

- Loyalty is dead

- Life just wants you to be fat

We're pulling from real life examples of what the current dating scene is like. We'll be talking about a bad string of dates, situations and: 

- What makes a good date vs bad date

- When their text & actual personality don't match up 

- Eye contact is an art 

- You can't practice chemistry 

- Cutting dates short 

- The move to try to salvage a horrible date

- Feeling deceived by their in-person appearance 
- When your date embarrasses the shit out of you 

- Too coked out, too fat, too hoochie... 

- Female dating is a group effort 

- Men need slumber parties 

- Fear of it being too good too fast 

- You like them a lot but you want it to slow down 

- Our opportunistic culture is ruining us 

- Eggs all in one basket or nah 

- Should you even trust your own instincts? 

- Do you eat the whole bag of chips now or space it out 

- Why middle school dating is so much better 

- Ways to be memorable 

- Digitally marking your territory 

- Wrong person, right time vs right person, wrong time 

- The scary part about meeting someone good 

- Everyone gives you attention when you're taken 

- The attitude that always attracts people 

- Is it harder for women or men to date? 

- Dating challenges specific to each gender

- How sexuality & attraction is different for men & women 

- Ways to make the dating scene better 

- People are less normal than you think 

Has today's world strapped us with the right tools for marriage? Is Jay & Bey's marriage real? How many people are actually happily married? In this episode we discuss the very important ponderings of: 

- Ratio of happily to unhappily married couples 

- Marriage is still a respectable gamble 

- Reasons people stay married 

- Mindset we should enter into marriages with 

- Mandatory pre-marital couples retreats 

- The Catholic Church is on to something

- Marriage culture customs & traditions is MIA 

- Marriage as a bucket list item 

- Relationship social validation

- What relationships do to your friend group 

- True love is not a conversation seller 

- Marriage is still the ultimate goal 

- Your single friends have better stories 

- Taboo conversations & perfect marriage social pressure 

- Conflict shame in marriage 

- Being afraid of your judgmental friends 

- Not every friend is a proper confidant

- Divorce is a great option for many people 

- Single is better than toxic relationship 

- Alternatives to marriage 

- Marriage from an evolutionary perspective 

- Is Jay & Bey's marriage real?

- The joys of companionship 

- Arranged marriages & learning to love each other 

- We're demanding too much of one person

- Married & isolated 

- Limit your relationship necessities to 3 things max 

You're back on the market & need to set up shop. Fire up those apps & get ready to recalibrate & re-equip. In this episode we're talking single-life strategy & all things:

- why your dating profile isn't getting matches 
- signs from the Universe you not ready 
- what's TMI on your dating profile 
- playing in to your competitive advantage 
- the KEY thing that makes women want a first date 
- conversation pitfalls to avoid 
- have friends of opposite gender audit your bio
- the 5 photos your profile needs 
- thoughts on professional shots 
- avoid the one blurb commonly on female dating profiles 
- the most effective apps for what you want
- escalating matches to dates: a real life breakdown of the numbers 
- the pros of afternoon dates 
- bad first date activities 
- why you can't discount a frappuccino date 
- how to cut people loose & scaling down your hotation
- the right way to feel about people coming back from the dead 
- yoga class & better places to hit on people 
- the mind shift to not waste your time
- statistically speaking, your proactivity is rewarded 
- solo self-care nights are a part of a balanced dating routine 

Sometimes, you see someone's true colors & it ain't pretty. We were gonna keep talking about biggest arguments offenses but this turned into a post-relationship analysis. We explore:

- when you end up with the same type of person over & over 

- rectifying parental issues w/ partner 

- ignoring & being colorblind to RED flags 

- when their personality in the relationships does a 180 

- entitled behavior 

- are these red flags actually deal breakers 

- ignoring your gut instincts 

- getting clear cut about your boundaries & deal breakers pre-relationship 

- why friend approval matters 

- investigating relationship intentions 

- do you want this or is it convenient?  

- being in denial/justifying behavior 

- fixable character traits vs incompatible character flaws 

- argument problems vs deal breakers 

- behavior on social media & respecting your partner 

- not posting about your partner on sm 

- way you compromise your relationship 

- "single energy" doesn't belong in committed relationship 

- pay attention to actions over words 

- are you with a narcissist? 
- when they keep your shit hostage post-breakup 

- why it's important to write down notes in relationships 

- in what point of a relationship do you seek therapy? 

- involving friends in your relationship drama 

- exit interviews could be fun 

We're all posting photos of the good times but never of the bad. Doesn't mean it ain't happening. In this episode Sid drops some big news & we also get into: 

- the deeper meaning to fighting 
- why your relationship needs arguments 

- most offensive argument problems

- both partners need emotional airtime 

- arguments cannot always default to one victim 

- what "active listening" actually is 

- why women don't leave the past in the past 

- the argument clapback 

- everyone should get a turn to be the designated calm one

- when giving them a taste of their own medicine is right 

- intention vs reception = 2 COMPLETELY different things 

- apologizing is a power move 

- the proper way to apologize (NO "sorry, but") 

- "sorry" does not buy you the chance to do it again

- the fast track to squashing an argument

- scheduling in "discussions"

- take your pick: maintaining your relationship or maintaining your ego 

- conflict resolution incompatibility is a deal breaker 

- there's only losers in a you vs me argument

- setting intentions pre-discussion (like in yoga) 

- arguing is a skill that you have to work on like reps at the gym

- residual "I hate you" post-argument feelings

- treat yourself after a blowout 

- call out your shortcomings

In this episode, we're weighing in on racism in dating, self-hating & discriminating. Show notes:

- gender reveals is the latest BS to plague social media 

- the pitfalls & plus sides of having a type 

- does having a type make dating harder? 

- the deeper meaning behind racial preferences 
- types that are too niche 

- when a type becomes a fetish 

- being their type vs their experiment

- how to tell if you're being fetishized 

- cinnamon vs nutmeg 

- biggest male insecurities in dating 

- the most common male aesthetic deal breaker for women 

- surprising female insecurities 

- what guys are really thinking when you eat on a date 

What is dating in LA really like?? We navigate the lovely dating problems & the perks that may or may not be exclusive to LA & ways to make romance work in any big city. Welcome to Season 2! In this episode: 

- The date spot better be closer to you or you're cancelling 

- They cancelled and you're stoked about it 

- Vegan Mingle: because LA vegans should only date LA vegans 

- LA leads the nation in gluten sensitivity 

- Avoiding "industry" people 

- Using dating profiles to market your business or gain IG followers

- Transient city mentality 

- Too many people coming & going 

- LA doesn't have a good metro system but we have a LOT of metro guys 

- Athleisure is a lifestyle 
- Why the number of good looking people in this city isn't a big deal 

- The 2 key places you need to know about to pick up ANYONE

- You don't want to date them, you want to network with them 

- Free meal opportunists 

- The best way to cut the date short 

- A great first date don't mean shit 

- Are people better in text or in person? 

- Passive agressive emojis 

- First dates are not the time to be creative 

- Thoughts on gym dates 

- Strange encounters: girls with knives and guys with eyeliner 

- Thoughts on back to back dates 

- Once again, dating is a second job 

Timing is everything & when it comes to sex, that statement still rings true. We're talking when to give it up, what to do if you gave it up too soon, communicating your sex agenda & bringing up STD's with your (soon-to-be) partner. Listen to this before getting horizontal wit anyone. A quick review: An in-depth revisit: how long should women hold off on sex?  The crucial thing women have to do with sex to be relationship material  When to be a hoe  How to actually approach the first date  Why you can't get past 3 dates without fucking  The inherent risks to sex beyond STD's & pregnancy  The problem with waiting too long for sex  Moves to do instead, before giving it up  Benefits of communicating your sex agenda  How to pull off a reset if you fucked on the first night  What to do if you're celibate  How putting "no fuckboys" on your dating profile actually comes off Time machine sex... try it tonight  Being a sex mentor This needs to happen before having sex for the first time  Sex itself is a determining factor for relationship potential  Demand those STD results 

This is Call of Booty & it's your oral duty to listen to this episode. We're talking all about the current oral sex culture and how our twerking, social media-centric generation is going to be having sex when we're old. Episode breakdown: 

- Samoas > Thin Mints

- Catching others & getting caught having sex or masturbating 

- Applauding noisy neighbors getting it on 

- Guessing about other couples' sex lives 

- Good looking people are actually not freaks in the sheets 

- Why 69 is overrated 

- What guys are actually thinking when you give them head 

- How to get comfortable when giving head 
- More gender inequality: girls can't really get road head 

- Cultural spit or swallow trends 
- The real reason why you should swallow instead of spit 

- Pineapple juice & other foods that really affect the taste of cum 

- Your balls have AI

- The pussy needs some downtime 

- The case for not having sex everyday

- Best places on the body to cum

- Sex injuries from food  

- Special occasion sex 

- The most underrated sex move

- People are probably having less sex than we think

- What sex is gonna be like in our 70's & 80's 

- Twerking at 80 years old 

- What's next on the sex frontier/sex industry 

- Is squirting real 

We could all be saying "Thank U, Next!" but half of us are getting back wit our ex sooo we're discussing what's the deal with that. We're hashing out: 

- Back with your ex for the wrong reasons 

- The dread of starting all over again 

- When has going back to an ex ever worked? 
- Real life examples of exes that have made it work 

- Getting a cat won't fix your relationship 

- The rules of going on a break or separation 

- Getting competitive during a "break" 

- The one time getting back together with your ex works 

- The fucked up thing that women find romantic 

- Keeping your ex around to get revenge

- Using your ex as as a placeholder for someone else 

- Being friends with your ex is pointless 

- Being physically grossed out by an ex once you're done 

- How exes ruin or prevent your next relationship 

- There's no need to be connected on social after a breakup 

- Famous exes that have gotten back together & are thriving  

- The key to preventing you from the trap of going back to an ex 

- Seeing your ex move on 

- Unspoken competition wit your ex of who can find someone new first 

- Having compassion for your ex & letting the past go 

- Let karma take care of your ex 

- Prenups: realistic or rude? 

- Flipping their shit on eBay

- What to do with the ring from a broken engagement 

Ass eating is how it's post to be. Or is it? Today we're exploring how the current digital/social age has shaped our sexual standards & expectations. We're sussing out sexual fantasy vs reality & what we actually want. Quick breakdown: 

- We're just 2 cynical Valentine's Day haters 

- Kanye wins V-day... (eye roll) 

- Guy's obsession w/ lesbians explained 

- Threesomes: whose requesting, logistics & strategy 

- Awkward threesomes in professional porn 

- How sex clubs & group sex can fuck up your game 

- Sex dungeons are a thing 

- Skin to skin contact > props 

- 50 Shades of Grey is like slam dunk contests 

- Caveman heritage: did they use props? 

- Choking & other fun ways to be degraded 

- Clit piercings are overrated 

- What even defines "good sex" these days? 

- Sex time travel 

- The big problem wit big dicks 

- Why anal sex is trending 

- Deep throating is a mainstay 

- You better come manscaped 

- Don't be that annoying person that doesn't FaceTime sex or send nudes 

- Strange sex bucket list items 

- Sending nude holograms is our future 

We're sounding off on the biggest dating complaints of 2019 & the key moves to improving your dating life so none of that is even an issue. We're talking: 

- Stop tryna date people & just get Bumble BFF 

- There are best & worst times to swipe (timing matters)  

- Accept that dating is a secondary job 

- Psyching yourself up for a date 

- Establish your signature home base date spot & make sure everyone comes to you 

- Flakiness & looking for any reason to DQ someone 

- Removing excessive pressure & expectation of Date 1 

- More happens when you look like you give less of a fuck 

- Humiliating public rejection 

- Make sure your wingman is a DUFF

- Get some uglier friends & use Bumble BFF to find some 

- Why it's vital to have a group of single friends if you're single 

- Don't date solo - build your crew 

- Get side jobs, go to workshops/meet-ups to meet ppl 

- Slow convo lead in or direct approach to getting numbers?

- Your personal trainer can double as your broker 

- "Dating requires support staff" 

- Be proactive and mass email your friends for referrals 

- Under what circumstance to implement a matchmaker

- Screening for psychos 

- Too many options is a problem  

- Throw away society applies to not giving people a fair shot 

- Stop focusing on checking boxes

- What you think you want in a partner doesn't even matter 

Drake said it's a short life, but that don't mean we can't keep playing games & having a little fun while we're at it. Enjoy part 2 of the games women & men play. 

On this episode: 

- An intro on manscaping

- Women get put into 1 of 2 camps in dating... which camp are you in?

- The ratio of serious to non-serious dating 

- Getting into their friend group

- Suggesting a trip together

- How many times a week you should see the person you're dating 

- Issuing effective ultimatums & when to do it 

- Psychopathic relationship trapping extremes 

- A very effective tactic that men use to trap women 

- How men who leverage money/status/career actually come off 

- If he don't have money, he better have THIS 

- Using the "accidental" text 

- You're never too old: 70 year olds do it too! 

- Drop a "baby" 

- The soft spot they have for their parents? Find out what that is & milk it to your advantage!  

- Get attention from others to get attention from your partner 

- Exploit what your partner finds sexy & what is universally sexy 

- Be versatile, fun & get your way 

- Game playing differences in your 20's vs 30's 

- Why Netflix n Chill is necessary 

The truth will set you free, but playing mind games doesn't cost you anything either... Or does it?? In this episode we cover: 

- We weigh in on the 10 year challenge 

- How women trap men into relationships 

- Best female tactics to get a relationship 

- How women "mark their territory"
- Friendship approval matters in leveling up 
- Consistent male campaigns & tactics to get a relationship 
- If playing hard-to-get really works 
- Being age appropriate (playing to their age) 
- Need a new career? Be an emotional assassin 
- Using social media campaigns as personal PR 
- Subtweeting to send a message 
- Accidentally tolerating the wrong person 
- How to get your partner to lose weight if they got fat 
- Manipulate/lead by example 
- Getting friends involved in manipulating partner  
- Use sex to get what you want 
- Be upfront to get what you want 
- Solve everything with bomb ass head (same conclusion every time) 

Have you ever lost a fun friend to a relationship? Are you always secretly hoping your friend breaks up so you can have your crew back? Or have you ever woken up one day and realized that YOU are that boring friend in a relationship?

In this episode we cover how to still be a fun friend, not let your new relationship suck the juice out of your personality and maintain a work-life balance. We cover: 

- Cuffing season & too many holiday engagements 

- Dating cycle syncing 

- Big issues: one half of the couple dominates the other 

- Common patterns: losing yourself in a relationship 

- Throwing funerals for your friends you lost to a relationship 

- Battles: disapproving friends vs significant other creating a divide 

- Interventions: not worth it 

- When your interests become your partners interest 

- Establishing safety words  

- Voltrons, Siamese twin couples & other pet peeves 

- Couples that offensively use "we" for everything 

- Establishing important parameters to maintain social life separate from partner 

- Don't be the couple that no one can third wheel 

- The smug factor 

- Blackmail photo folders to resurrect your fun friend 

- Thoughts on sour skittles 

- Asking your partner for "me time"

- Missing your partner is a good thing 

The threats to your relationship are everywhere: lurking at work, at Starbucks and on your damn phone. Use probability & statistics to not invite the wrong circumstance & cheat-proof your relationship. We discuss: 

- (irrelevant intro) when Costco feels bad for your dick & gives you a refund 

- Emotional & Physical Affairs  

- Define what is is detrimental to a relationship instead of defining "cheating" 

- Getting blindsided by cheating 

- The Golden Rule applies to fidelity 

- Respecting your partners grounds for cheating vs yours 

- Using the concept of probability & statistics to determine what's the right behavior 

- How common is cheating? 

- Common cheating stories (brought to you by the men on Reddit)

- The worst betrayals 

- Surprising undercover cheaters like Tiger Woods 

- Are we meant to be monogamous? 

- Shitting on on happy relationships/ getting coined as the "boring one" if happily in a relationship 

- Defending romance 

- Emotional terrorist relationship poachers

- Friends that try to undermine your relationship 

- When is cheating ever okay? 

- Policy on taking back cheaters 

- Understanding why ppl cheat 

- Not shaming your friends if they decide to take back a cheater 

- Would you want to know the details if you got cheated on?

- Who is more at fault - the partner or the knowing and willing home wrecker

- When you find out you're the side piece 

- What should the accidental "mistress" do?

- Worst ways to discover cheating 

- The threat of the workplace & co-workers 

- If all else fails, buy yourself an atoll 

From looking like you can outrun a T-rex to throwing surprising character curveballs, we discuss the many things that make you marriage material and how to get you from meeting in the WF aisle to down the aisle & to the alter. 

- You're doing it wrong: look frumpy on the streets & sexy at home
- Overcompensation & social overexposure takes you out of the running for marriage
- Guys hugging w/ mutual boners (excuse our tangent)
- What it really means to be basic
- The “IT” factor
- “We are a product of memes”: how social media is killing our uniqueness
- Show that you're multifaceted & do spontaneous shit
- Be a tootsie pop
- Getting steamrolled in a relationship
- Sticking to your guns on your values
- Don’t be a personality sponge
- Wifey material qualifiers
- Study Reports: on the most subconscious level, what we are looking for in our life partner?
- Women are looking for “frame” in men - find out what that means
- Yes, physical attraction DOES matter
- Post Sex aura
- Mischevious streaks - the couple that pranks together stays together
- It’s the butt culture - don’t have a flat ass
- Your past DOES matter
- Your demonstration of loyalty in turn works in YOUR favor
- Once again, your bj talents to the rescue
- How you handle crisis modes are huge  
- Be the best version of yourself ON BRAND
- Devour them like they're your last meal on earth

Basically, implement these tactics & get that bling on your finger. 

This episode contains everything you always wanted to know but never asked. Listen to the very end because you ar gonna learn somme truly insightful shit about the opposite gender. Golden education right hurr. - passing gas: where to draw the line on a normal but embarrassing situation - farting is a mood killer - embarrassing gas stories & when gas builds up all night long - tactics and concentration involved to disguise your noises - what guys think about accidental rips - why you should get a dog - shitting in front of your partner - disguising shitting in front of your partner (drowning out noise & smell with best strategies) - Pandora to the rescue - subtle ways to tell your partner that nature is really calling & they need to leave - the worst shitting offenses - Blumpkins: get familiar - Sid's under-the-sheets blow the gas away wind tunnel move (he swears by it, I'm skeptical) - morning breath is NBD - the strategy of eating onions & garlic together - simultaneous gas: make a pact - things that girls hide from their partner Male Dilemmas - random boners & tucking it in - being proud of your boner & boners at the gym - morning wood is a diff type of boner - yes, blue balls hurt & what it actually feels like - the alarming way that guys get rid of ball itch (in public) Female Dilemmas - period underwear & tricky period encores - guys perspective on periods... its not what you think - wet tampons & wet everything issues - staining your bed - male sympathy

We all have our deal breakers. Sometimes we can make exceptions, other times - all bets are off. Heed the red flags flags & jump ship before you drown. In this episode we discuss: Money: - When it's serious - separate bank accounts? - Societal conditioning/thoughts about money - Women out-earning their husbands - Having similar socioeconomic backgrounds Religion - Our thoughts on different religions in a relationship - is there space for a duo-religion household? - The right approach to not converting your partner/children to your religious agenda - People of different religions DO actually learn to get along! - Using Reddit for all your religious questions - Bacon lovers cannot fuck wit religious diet restrictions that ban pork! (Diet) - Diets: a new age deal breaker Kids - Dating someone w/ kids = damaged goods? - The truth is: kids are baggage - When do you reveal to the person you're dating that you have a kid - Women not being turned off by a man w/ kids - Major deal breaker: when someone doesn't like your kid Sex - DJ Khaled not eating pussy is a deal breaker!!! - Reasons why guys do not go down - Thoughts on anal - Bringing up areas of improvement for sex is awkward - How to make sex better with your partner - Swapping notes & making sex a workshop - The prevalency of faking orgasms - Pointing your toes makes you cum - Post-romp must-haves

Your relationship may be over, but its trail of slime is still all over social media for all to see. Learn best practices for not embarrassing yourself on social media & how best to be discreet in a new or serious relationship. Great shit that we cover: - Deleting photos w/ an ex on social media: do it out of courtesy or should no one give a fuck? - Keeping photos for memories sake, or fuck, maybe you just look good - Strategies for deleting photos off SM: subtle little by little or one huge sweep - Sad attempts to become an ice cream brand ambassador - How to handle close friendships with opposite gender once with someone new & it's serious - Testing your partner's insecurities & looking for red flags - Rebelling against jealous partners - Listing yourself as in a relationship on FB is tacky & embarrassing - Feeling obliged to "like" engagement or pregnancy photos or feel like a bad person - JLO is tha realest - Don't be that couple that merges personalities & tastes - Subtle & modern ways to still shout out your partner/express love on SM - Excessive honeymoon photoshoots - Put yourself on blast! - #Fatfat - Modern equivalents of old school romantic gestures - Hoe-proof (or not) your marriage by deleting social media - Relationships & terrorist threats are similar - Innocent flirting while in a relationship with others could be helpful? - 2019 challenge: post your realest and rawest shit ever - Accidental dick pic mishaps & other SM blunders

Breakups: They break us and they make us. We get totally destroyed then rise like phoenixes from the fire. At the heart of this episode we discuss how breakups differ between men and women, how we use breakups as a great opportunity for team bonding, and how best to recover. For a further breakdown: - The MOST PAINFUL kind of breakup - Breakup Armaggedon - When you can't eat Chipotle that's a bad sign - Do you plan breakups or spur of the moment? - Things that make you stay in a relationship a little too long - Villify the motherfucker to help you get over them! - Being more empathetic & reframing your thoughts when the other person is being a "crazy motherfucker" during the breakup - How guys rally after a breakup w/ their friends - How women rally after a breakup w/ their friends - Revenge Bod! - 3 things that you NEED to put in your breakup arsenal kit - Comparing EVERYONE to ex, even if relationship sucked - Remember the positives of a relationship vs the negatives - Breakup Coping mechanisms gone wrong - Monitoring your friends on social media to make sure they're alive - Breaking up = team bonding - Mend: the breakup app - Bashing your ex - helpful or nah? - Why people come back - Cutting off contact - what hurts more? Block/no contact, or seeing their shit online? - Do we truly want our ex to suffer the way we are? The answer is YES :P

You can best believe guys do their fare share of SM stalking. In this mixed-bag episode we also cover the dating app "Hinge", what IG attention realllly means & what everyone is actually doing with your nudes/dick pics. To break it down: - "Hinge" is a dope dating app & why you should be on it - typical dating app usage behavior - #VengeSwiping is real - guys DO social media stalk - what IG likes really mean (& should you be concerned?) - when people investigate the shit outta your social media moves - flattering or scary? - when you get caught hardcore social media stalking - IG celebs DO respond to your DMs - are IG Models a serious threat? - how men & women stalk on social media - nudes = cultural staple - tips for bomb nudes & protecting yourself from porno fame - nude blackmail - most requested & memorable nudes - sexting & devious girls - nude fails - conclusion: nudes can make or break you

On this episode we look at Romance, Chivalry & Old Societal Standards in the Modern World of love, dating, relationships, engagement and marriage. We cover: - first dates: who should pay in 2018 - insincere wallet gestures on a first date are a-okay - keeping tally on how many dates before sex (if you haven't boned already) - the magic number of how many dates before sex unofficial protocol - a warning on marriage from 2 people that have been married - a new frontier of relationships - the modern set up (aka we are doing it all wrong) - examples of modern chivalry - how women KILL chivalry - the ULTIMATE way women can show romance/gift give - the ULTIMATE way guys can show their commitment - would you do it?? - big ass engagements = not necessary - excessive photo documentation in our social media culture - pictures tell less than half the story of a relationship, don't be jealous

Sid starts the episode noticeably hangry but that melts away quickly b/c come on, it's sex. You can't be mad at it. A quick breakdown of what we cover in this "Talk Dirty to Me episode": 

- Favorite & least favorite things to hear in bed 

- Alter egos/say my name/baby noises 

- Is a strip show a millennial thing?? 

- Fettishes - Pube Hair etiquette/standards/expectations for BOTH men & women 

- Pubic hair woes, predicaments & pube trends 

- What to do if you're about to have sex but you're sporting a bush? 

- Sid recommends you rehearse your dirty talk. Come prepared 

- Queefing & embarrassing moments

 - Sex injuries 

- Sex insecurities 

- Lights, mirrors, starring in your own porno 

- Keepsafe app = a must if you are filming pornos

When it comes to dating & relationships, all we really wanna know is if this motherfucker is gonna waste our time. Because tryna decide what to watch on Netflix is already doing that. Anyways... Quick snapshots of this episode! - Dating people you're not that attracted to: "Date & See" or cut bait - How to know for sure if you're sexually attracted to someone (more of a problem for women) "Men Are Disgusting Animals" - News flash: People are disgusted that they fucked you - Are we being too too disposable with ppl? - Are ppl getting divorced too soon? - A better way to look at "lowering your standards" - 6 packs become dad bods real quick - Expedited leveling up - Sid's "practical", conservative & perhaps cynical POV on reasonable marriage timelines - How long is too long to wait for commitment? (dating to relationship, relationship to marriage) - Can you actually be friends wit someone after you fucked or had a relationship? Which camp are you in?

We get realllll candid & personal in this episode. Sid gives a comprehensive breakdown of "NoFap" & we discuss all things male & female masturbation. Hands down (your pants) one of our best episodes. You're gonna wanna tune in. - What is "NoFap" & do you have what it takes? - "Every guy has jacked off today" true or false - The legit benefits of NoFap - Can women masturbate too much? Female masturbation - Masturbating together/watching porn together - Personal best records for times of day - Mile High Club by yourself - Sid defends Kleenex - Sid is BEGGING me to cut out this last million dollar question but too fucking bad!! Listen till the very end Andddd we wanna hear from you! Where's the weirdest place you've masturbated?? How many times a day is your personal record?? (Yes, double ?? to make it creepier).

It's an era of blurred lines. In this episode we sound off on: - dating vs booty calls - "situationships" & "hotations" - implementing arguments to test level of investment - upgrading yourself from booty call status We also apologize in advanced for this episode... half of this episode is spent trying to get back on track from the tangents our guest was putting us on. Not our fault.

Make yourself more appetizing on dating apps. In this first episode we cover the big 4, your photo & profile strategy, things that sell, why Bumble makes you appreciate Tinder, which app to discriminate on & some other somewhat relevant shyt.