Drink Drank Drunk | A Grammar Show With A Drinking Problem
By Riveting FM
Drink Drank Drunk | A Grammar Show With A Drinking ProblemOct 02, 2017
#79: We're Baaaack (Please Don't Stash Us)
#78: We Quit?
#77: Toe Ring Gal
#76: Joel Schwartzberg, I’m Coming for Your Job
On this episode:
Linda doesn't love all doggos, or even puppers, but she'll never reveal her breed ranking. We research the origins of the internet's favorite word and realize this podcast is el doggo. Linda can't find Youtube and tells us to write like pubescent children if we want people to actually read anything. Lastly, your emails are ruining your life. Or at the very least, your credibility. BUT WE HAVE TIPS!
Check out our new store! Show your word nerd pride and support your favorite podcast. Get all the goods at shop.drunkwordnerds.com.
#75: Get This Woman a Dictionary!
On this episode:
We squeeze in a few more end-of-2017 lists because how can we resist the best sentences and most popular dog names of the year? Also, we reveal the trendiest baby name in U.S. history; you won't believe it. If you're planning to become friends with Morgan, keep your family tree handy. She requires it for all new friends. One of Morgan's many secret Facebook groups enjoyed a holiday thread about the words and phrases family members just can't get right. Let's all make fun of our parents!
#74: A Grammar Show With a Christmas Problem
On this episode:
IT'S CHRISTMAS! We know you woke up early and gathered your family to listen to this episode. Big news: The name Aryan catapulted to #32 for baby boys in 2017. Happy birthday, Jesus. Everything is terrible. By the way, the most popular girl name was like Ava but longer, and the #1 boy name took Morgan by surprise (hint: Jake Gyllenhaal's dog). We also review Dante's nine circles of hell for grammar nerds. Worth noting: Linda is a Trekkie, and Morgan once yelled at a guy for calling her a “doppelganger” because she didn't know what it meant.
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#73: It’s Always Cuffing Season When I’m Wearing Pants
On this episode:
Brian is ruining the podcast and Morgan is in a German immersion program. We throw out our best guesses for “Word of the Year” and reflect on how naive we were just a year ago. The Economist asks, “r the kidz ruining writing?” (no) and have no fear, the NSA is verrrrry busy with important grammar issues so our country is totally safe from any kind of threat.
Check out our new store! Show your word nerd pride and support your favorite podcast. Get all the goods at shop.drunkwordnerds.com.
#72: I’m Not Having an Australian Tell Me How to Speak English
On this episode:
Linda helps a listener out by distinguishing formal job titles from stupid job titles. Morgan moonlights as a Dr., but not in the Jill Biden way and we finally find out, “What is Coco thinking???” After a deep dive into Twitter exclamation points we talk about the latest hot jam, ‘Take a Knee, My Ass (I'm Racist)'. Lastly, um, uh, huh? Byeeeeee!
Check out our new store! Show your word nerd pride and support your favorite podcast. Get all the goods at shop.drunkwordnerds.com.
#71: Stay Tuned Lawyer Dogs
On this episode:
It's holiday card season, and that means one thing: We find out that all our friends and family members don't know how to write their own names. NO APOSTROPHES. There is no such thing as a lawyer dog, but for some reason, police officers thought that's what a man was requesting when he said, “Get me a lawyer, dog.” Guess who the judge sided with? We love BuzzFeed's Quibbles & Bits newsletter, and you will too. The most recent email delves into mental health terms we should eliminate from our writing (and everyday conversations). Also, Pittsburgh scares children with a creepy rendition of Noah's Ark. Neat episode!
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#70: John Stamos Is a Bot. Spread It.
On this episode:
We record on Friday the 13th and things get spooky, so don't clip your nails! We take a long, disturbing look at what Facebook considers hate speech while taking even longer looks at celeb butts on Instagram. We also learn that you could read thousands of books if you stopped being an online troll and that Brian was once literally white bread. Lastly, Morgan doesn't help nerds and Linda collects her junk mail. Cool!
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#69: You Are the Oprah of Bulleted Lists
On this episode:
Were you a BSB, 98°, or N*SYNC fan? And how committed were you? In this ep we discuss:
- Linda's interest in a *current* TV show
- The newest words to make the cut at Merriam Webster AKA who's off the schneid
- Which words the U-S-A can't S-P-E-L-L
- And Linda's biggest passion in life — bullets!
#68: Deer Whom It May Concern,
On this episode:
Looking for a new gig? This one's for you. We break down annoying words and phrases to delete from your resume (no, we're not doing the accents over resume); how to address a cover letter to—gasp!—a woman; and how to send a non-obnoxious follow-up note. Morgan's advice: List all the important people you know and your dean's list semesters in your email signature.
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#67: It’s Almost Pear Season
On this episode:
A studio makeover throws us off our game, but we push through to discuss the emoji that's the symbol of our time, the USC–UCLA fight over the spelling of Shakespeare (dorks) and the 10 things you probably don't know about the English language.
#66: I Work Where Jack Bauer Works
On this episode:
Did you know that once you go on the internet you're not nice anymore? We make this important discovery when talking about the over-correcting of online grammar. We also learn that both Morgan AND Linda have been tricked by fake news. Spoiler alert: no such thing as ocean crocodiles. Lastly, people think you're a full idiot if you in emails. Poor Smiley.
Links:
Northwest Independent Editors Guild
Policing people’s grammar online is never really abo
#65: You Do You, Cooter Brown
On this episode:
Hi to our new listeners! On this ep, we dive back into the Dictionary of American Regional English (DARE), discuss whether owls are solemn and stupid or wise lollipop lovers, and try not to throw up our boots. We also cover important grammar lessons as taught by Game of Thrones and discover that Coco is a “throner”.
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#64: Tickle Away Your Polio
On this episode:
I guess we can't record too far in advance because our story about Anthony Scaramucci is now as relevant as your most clever and colorful AIM profile. Enjoy our mocking story anyway. Also, how do you laugh? Haha, he he, lol, ha, heh, HAHAHA. There's something wrong with all of them. But they can all cure disease, probably. There's a new language of dating, so three old married people discuss its credibility while trying to contend with an especially tricky online slideshow. And have you thought about your postmortem social media presence? Linda has.
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#63: You Think You’re a Bunch of Lindas?
On this episode:
Welcome to our stupid Titanic podcast. On this episode we discuss sad lady stuff starting with, is the Old Grey Lady sexist? We defend uptalk (question mark implied) and dive deep into how Linda got so smart. Plus, proper “too” usage. Get into it!
Check out our new store! Show your word nerd pride and support your favorite podcast. Get all the goods at shop.drunkwordnerds.com.
#62: Xennials: Mixtapes, Dial-Up and Call Waiting
On this episode:
Who is a bigger mixtape nerd: Brian, who crafted works of art for girls who didn't care, or Linda, who made an entire “My Heart Will Go On” cassette? They're both dorks, and they're both Xennials. New York Times reporters stand up for their copy editors because journalistic standards and accuracy. Female doctors aren't introduced with their “Doctor” title as much as male doctors. OMG SHOCKING. Shout-out to the Northwest Independent Editors Guild conference, which Morgan and Linda wish they could attend but can't because of their upcoming nuptials.
#61: Tilde Swinton
On this episode:
Listener email time! Tildes are sarcastic. Is Frances a man or woman? An update from Anna, the boner photographer. And more.
Check out our new store! Show your word nerd pride and support your favorite podcast. Get all the goods at shop.drunkwordnerds.com.
#60: You Always Ignore Me When I’m in That Chair
On this episode:
Brian moved his seat in the studio, got laser eye surgery and switched from a Mac to a PC. After marveling at these major changes, we answer a listener question about ellipses. Apparently all we care about are email sign-offs, so we feature yet another article on that topic. Please note that if Morgan sees “Please consider the environment” in your email signature, she prints it and burns it. Did you know that vowels affect word order? You do now, dong-ding. Also, Brian wrote only one paper in college. This explains a lot.
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#59: Lie (NOT Lay) Down Sally
On this episode:
Remember the Tan Mom? We do. Anyway, guess who uses more semicolons: literary types or us normals. If you're about to get a dog, think long and hard about the name so your pup isn't a basic bitch (literally). Listener Anna emailed because every day she says, “Lie on the table.” Is she a doctor, a masseuse, a butcher or a murder? We don't know, but we explain the lie vs. lay situation. Lastly, if you're in the bushes, you probably fell in drunkenly. If you're among them, you're at the Bush family ranch.
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#58: Grief Bacon
On this episode:
The tres drunk word nerds record on Cinco de Mayo and it's a margarita fueled bonanza. We cover the hilarity of the K sound, English words with Spanish roots, and foreign words we should adapt ASAP. Linda also teaches us about initialism vs acronyms vs blends vs acrostic poems.
Lovely
Individual
Nerdy
Drunk
American
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#57: Buzz, Your Girlfriend
On this episode:
After discussing musicals and Morgan's 7th-grade choir career (not impeded by her back brace), the team does a deep-dive into corporate robot language, per your constant requests for more workplace jargon coverage. And since we can't get enough of the singular they, we answer a listener email about pairing verbs with the non-binary pronoun. Lastly, we discover “doggo lingo.” (“Discover” = we find out about it because NPR did a story of this years-long trend.)
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#56: Are We on iTunes?
On this episode:
We dive right in to our recent switch to bi-weekly casts. Or is it bi-monthly? Everyone is STILL doing emails wrong. Did you know you're supposed to print them? Men need to step up and start saying sorry and Linda shares her dream of launching a citywide campaign on street etiquette. Lastly, we discuss who is the worst Vanderpump Rules cast member. Spoiler alert: it's Katie.
Links:
Don’t let these bad habit
#55: When They Lowercased Internet the Room Went Wild
On this episode:
The gang announces some format changes but don't worry, it's still an email podcast! We break down more stuff you shouldn't be saying (typing) and get into the AP updates. Also, Morgan has a fascinating movie idea involving a fleet of vans and a 300-page grammar questionnaire and we learn that both Morgan and Linda are very sensitive when it comes to adopting one another's writing styles.
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#54: You Don’t Like Ampersands? (Take 2)
On this episode:
Morgan and Linda don't possess the brainpower required of daughters-in-law when they communicate with their in-laws. Terminology matters when it comes to healthcare plans, but mostly we debate if “healthcare” should be one word or two. Hot tip: Pick up five-year-old Edith Fuller for your fantasy spelling bee team. And finally, we delve into capitalization, quotation marks and italics when it comes to titles. Oh, and the reason Morgan isn't a ballerina today? Her back brace.
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#53: I Just Ideated
On this episode:
This is the second episode we recorded in one night, so temper your expectations. Morgan loathes business jargon, so never tell her that you're going to ideate how to architect a plan for decontenting. She also was never a track star because her coach wore Birkenstocks and left kids at Wendy's. On a related note, Americans and Brits use different sports terms. We home (not hone) in on the differences.
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#52: Two People Like Brian!
On this episode:
Abbreviations can be confusing: Is the BFD commissioner a big fucking deal commissioner or a Buffalo Fire Department commissioner? Or possibly both? Love is the most popular reaction on Facebook, but Brian and Linda cast doubt on the finding. We also share an unnecessary tip about flesh out vs. flush out.
Links:
Ambiguous abbreviations, Strong Language
#51: Call Your Mom! It’s Our 51st Episode.
On this episode:
It's our 51st episode, and we're talkin' emails. That's right—again. A study finally tells us which email sign-off is best. Thanks, science. We discuss four types of introversion and determine that Linda is all of them, and Brian is just a jerk. Etymology explains the reason salad and salt are kind of the same and why people with ovaries were once considered prone to hysteria. How times have changed…
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#50: You Don’t Want Her to Piss on Elsa?
On this episode:
Linda needs a baby bathrobe and she needs it now! In this episode, we cover the Nordic face off of hygge vs kalsarikannit. Also, we basically discuss filler words that you should cut out of your writing each and every time in order to utilize the very best words, actually. Do you care? Or could you NOT care less? Listen to find out!
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#49: Guys, I’m Not Italian
On this episode:
It's a theme show! The DDD crew talks dictionary and are joined by a very special guest, Linda's husband! We wax poetic about everybody's favorite badass word curator, Merriam-Webster, and have a husband vs. wife word quiz battle royale. Linda makes Polish jokes and the gang roasts her husband for being Italian. Classic 2017.
Links:
Ghost, Shade, And Humbl
#48: I Know What Habeas Corpus Means
On this episode:
Up your protest-sign game. We delve into the proper definitions of political terms and explain the difference between alternate facts and alternative facts.
#47: Can’t Slow Us Down, Mom
On this episode:
Join us as we look back on Jock Jams and internet speak that's past its prime. We cover enthralling topics like snake pregnancy. And whose style will reign supreme: US or UK? Find out if you're giving Realtors the respect they demand while listening to Coco mansplain. #blessed
Check out our new store! Show your word nerd pride and support your favorite podcast. Get all the goods at shop.drunkwordnerds.com.
#46: The Millennial on This Show is Obsessed With Baba Vanga
On this episode:
It's Baba Vanga's world. We're all just living in it.
Check out our new store! Show your word nerd pride and support your favorite podcast. Get all the goods at shop.drunkwordnerds.com.
#45: I Am a Woman With a Song Inside Her
On this episode:
Vacay, meh, fashionista and about 20 other words first uttered/recorded in 1992 are turning 25. Being “mom” is cool, so all DDD fans are MOMMMM. We break down historic vs. historical and explain what the heck a retronym is. Plus, Morgan addresses her childhood issues with bear hair and gender confusion (as in, people often mistook her for a boy).
Links:
&
#44: Obama Is a Double-Spacer
On this episode:
Barack Obama is a double-spacer, so we're over him. Canadians say “eh” because they're the nicest versions of all of us. yet another popular podcast scams our stories, according to Morgan. It's cool because we love Hidden Brain and its recent episode about changing language. A Harvard linguist points out all the words you're using incorrectly so you can hone your language skills. Also, jello shots. (Or Jell-O shots, if you respect trademarks.)
And visit the brand new DDD store at shop.drunkwordnerds.com and buy something!
Links:
#43: “Potential Misunderstanding About Our Dog”
On this episode:
Dan Gross from Elevated Nation joins the DDD gang to discuss dead animals, the business of cannabis, a lively real tweets/fake news debate, and words of the year. Dan drops some hot, very old Ramona Singer and Mel Gibson goss (separate stories). Email us for the pic. *wink* (Coco says you need to leave an iTunes review if you want to see the picture.)
And visit the brand new DDD store at shop.drunkwordnerds.com and buy something!
Links:
The Word of the Year for 2016 Isn’t a Word. It’s a Nu
#42: There’s Nothing Linda Won’t Bullet
On this episode:
Morgan's 2017 resolution: no more singing on the podcast. Can she make it? On this episode, we answer a chemistry Ph.D. student's question about bullet points, and probably let him down. Learn another language to increase your tolerance of ambiguity. A contronym is a word that is its own opposite. WHAT?! Also, we explain while vs. whilst and taste test wine gummies; enjoy our chewing.
Links:
#41: John Lithgow Is a Gem
On this episode:
This week Linda gets in her time machine to the recent past (2016) to watch ONE EPISODE of a culturally relevant show. Morgan takes a stand on dads, Phish is corrupting our government, and the patriarchy is over! Plus, we call out hyper grammar correctors and decree the cool, new baby name of 2017: Manager. Happy New Year!
Links:
#40: We’ll Explain Who Meatloaf Is to You Later
On this episode:
The gang is joined in the studio by Morgan's office mates after a booze-filled holiday work outing. That's right, the DDD token millennial is in the studio and sharing her (overly confident) wisdom. We talk holiday cards, the year's worst writing mistakes and the bane of Linda's existence — unattributed quotes. Also, Linda gets her wallet stolen. Sad!
We love Grammarly, and are proud to share their service. If you're too busy to listen to all of our amazing grammar and writing advice, just use Grammarly and let them d
#39: No Periods, All Exclamation Points, Occasional Question Marks
On this episode:
Close proximity is redundant, but you're always in close proximity to someone who's saying “close proximity.” Morgan tries to teach Linda about the undertones of certain emojis, even though she just wants a landline. Since this time of year can be tough, we discuss the idea of using writing to get out of your funk. Speaking of funk, we think Rihanna would make a great bridesmaid.
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#38: Ladies Be Second Class Citizen-ing
On this episode:
Linda and Morgan carry on the tradition of pissing off their listeners by talking about irritating TV shows for too long. Whatever happened to the WB? We also praise the AP for calling out racist language and harsh on female sommeliers.
Links:
Why Is the Second G in Gilmore Girls Lowercase?, Slate
#37: It Was Al-Gore-Together Horrible
On this episode:
The DDD crew records the night before Thanksgiving, in honor of all the turkeys that pass away. With gratitude in their hearts and slurring on their lips, they talk about “altogether” versus “all together,” terrible spelling and grammar among racists (plus why we might want to ignore it) and names for the toilet. In one word, classy.
Links:
Altogether vs. All Together, Grammarly
#36: Half the Pressure, Twice the Speed
On this episode:
Mary Norris, the comma queen, calls in to talk beer and pencils with the DDD gang. She also introduces us to the seedy Twitter underbelly of double spacers and answers a listener question about ellipses…
#35: [Rebroadcast] Comma Comma Chameel-eee-onnn
#34: Bye Bye Grammar
On this episode:
The DDD crew has new intro music and it has us on our beanwater! There is a war on grammar, aka a war on mad old dudes, and the battleground is the singular they. Morgan and Linda terribly predict the future of America while learning when to use woman vs. female. Linda weighs in on stuffy grammar rules and we outlaw apostrophes!
Links:
A high school teacher
#33: I Never Mind When You Misspell Nevermind
On this episode:
Bombshell: It's “never mind,” not “nevermind.” Sorry, Kurt Cobain. RIP. Someone else wrote about email sign-offs because we haven't been through enough. At least she claims a winner (and 26 losers). We translate British business speak, and then decide it would be best to keep English-speaking immigrants out of our country. And we have a T-shirt winner!
Links:
Nevermind or Never Mi
#32: Snails! It’s Bill Walsh.
On this episode:
Legendary copy editor Bill Walsh of Washington Post fame joins the DDD crew to share a very important message: Do not use apostrophes to pluralize your family name on holiday cards. (Morgan declares war on Christmas.) Also, old-fashioned curse words are weird. Dad-sizzle it! Do you know what a group of cats is called? Clowder. Weird.
Links:
Yes, I Could Care Less: How to Be a Language Snob Without Being a Jerk, Bill Walsh
The Elephants of Style : A Trunkload of Tips on the Big Issues and Gray Areas of Contemporary American English, Bill Walsh
Lapsing Into
#31: What Did Ja Rule Teach Us About Down-Ass Comforters?
On this episode:
Yet another reason we are just like killer whales: menopause. They go past Janet Jackson age to Bea Arthur territory. I am drunk, but Morgan is drunker than _____. There are three correct ways to end that sentence, but one is Oxfordish, or douchey. Fall brings on down-ass comforter season, Ja Rule's favorite time of year. Bless your heart, y'all, fixin' to, ugly as homemade sin. Thanks for your lovely sayings, the South.
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#30: Why Do We Love to Curse So Much?
On this episode:
Science says swearing is cool, so get the fuck over it. It's like wearing pants to the grocery store, or something. We dislike workplace jargon because WE DON'T GET IT. Linda can't remember what “on my beanwater” means, probably because of all the beers. Our latest iTunes review came in the form of a Nobel Prize–worthy poem.
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