Drunk Law School
By Nickel Productions
Subscribe to hear what happens when a law student and a podcaster mix liquor with the law. There are probably a few laws when drinking Claws, but we couldn’t tell you what they are.
Drunk Law SchoolJun 24, 2021
Bonus: Happy Birthday Annelise! (People v. Knoller)
Content warning: this episode contains mentions of grievous bodily harm.
Hello drunk law students! We are back to bring you a special episode from the DLS archive--featuring a special guest, terrible birthday singing, legal malfeasance, a highly questionable adoption, and yes, man-eating dogs. This episode was recorded in May 2020. Enjoy!
Show notes
- The Mamas & The Papas -- San Francisco
- You can find some of the naughty pics that Knoller sent to Paul Schneider here
Further Reading (courtesy of Annelise)
- Rolling Stone article covering the case
- Articles on Knoller's initial sentencing and subsequent parole denial
- Whipple's partner, Sharon Smith, also succeeded in suing Knoller and Noel for $1,500,000 in civil damages. The civil case was notable in that the San Francisco Superior Court ruled in July 2001 that Smith was entitled to bring suit as Whipple's domestic partner under the Equal Protection Clause, against the defense's argument that a same-sex unmarried partner did not have standing. She donated some of the money to Saint Mary's College of California to fund the women's lacrosse team (where Whipple coached before her death).
- You can read and see photos of Paul "Cornfed" Schneider here
Dolly, Get Your Bag! (Filartiga v. Peña-Irala)
What do you do if after fleeing from an oppressive regime in your home country of Paraguay and coming to the United States for a better life, you discover that the former head of the police force—a man who tortured and murdered your brother for political dissidence—had also fled to the U.S.A.? You dust off a two hundred year old law about piracy and GET. YOUR. BAG.
To read about why the term "alien" is marginalizing and explore a new alternative coined by our brilliant friend Dr. Arturo Castellanos, click here.
Drug Enforcement Assholes (Gonzales v. Raich)
On this episode of Drunk Law School, we ask a very important question—can the government ban vegetable gardens?
Drink: Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc
If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice
A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are Bastards"
How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
Bye Week
What Does the Fox Say? (Pierson v. Post)
Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Drink: Maker's Mark Old Fashioned
Please contact officials in Wisconsin and demand justice for Jacob Blake by clicking here. Donate to the Milwaukee Freedom Fund by clicking here.
If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice
A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are Bastards"
How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
"We'd Like to Import Your Mom" (The Naulilaa Case)
Other title candidates for this episode, which spends a little bit of time discussing international law (the actual topic), included:
- "JENSEN!!!!!"
- Internassional Relations
- "I will eat your ass!"
- "I wonder what's inside your butthole"
Please contact officials in Wisconsin and demand justice for Jacob Blake by clicking here. Donate to the Milwaukee Freedom Fund by clicking here.
If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice
A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are Bastards"
How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
Who Ya Gonna Call? (Stambovsky v. Ackley)
"Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'YES'!" -- Winston Zeddmore
Drinks: Ruby Red Grapefruit White Claw
Please contact officials in Wisconsin and demand justice for Jacob Blake by clicking here. Donate to the Milwaukee Freedom Fund by clicking here.
If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice
A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are Bastards"
How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
A Supreme Court Slap Fight (Marbury v. Madison)
The year is 1789. Back in those days, having actual slap fights in public was considered bad form, and somebody usually died in a duel (looking at you, Alexander Hamilton). So if you're John Adams and Thomas Jefferson and you want to have a slap fight but not actually, where do you go? The Supreme Court, of course!
Drinks: Bulleit Bourbon Kentucky Mule and Bee's Knuckles (combine 2 oz. bourbon, 1 oz. honey syrup, 1 oz. fresh lemon juice, and 1/2 tsp sriracha or more to taset; shake with ice and serve in a coupe glass)
Please contact officials in Wisconsin and demand justice for Jacob Blake by clicking here. Donate to the Milwaukee Freedom Fund by clicking here.
If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice
A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are Bastards"
How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
Just the Tip (Regina v. Dudley and Stephens)
Content warning: gore
Daniel cut his thumb off, and we read the case that most students learn on their first day of criminal law. Spoiler alert: shit is fucked up.
Drinks: Corona Extra
Please contact officials in Wisconsin and demand justice for Jacob Blake by clicking here. Donate to the Milwaukee Freedom Fund by clicking here.
If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice
A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are Bastards"
How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
BONUS: Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)
We're off this week prepping for season two (and year two, in Megan's case) so we wanted to try something different. This is our first drink-mixing audio guide, where we'll teach you how to make the Love Grows, a cocktail invented by our show and featured in our last episode.
If you want to read about the Pimm's Cup, click here.
If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice
A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are Bastards"
How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
BONUS: American Gothic (Katko v. Briney)
" 'I didn't mean to hurt anyone,' said the guy who definitely meant to hurt someone." - Ancient Iowan Proverb
Drink: Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes), an original Drunk Law School recipe.
Disclaimer: Neither of us is a lawyer. We don't know that much about the law and are trying our best. It's possible that we get stuff wrong on this show, and nothing heard in the podcast should be taken as a perfectly accurate description of standing case law. Nothing in this show constitutes legal advice, and we're not telling you that it's OK or not OK to do anything that might break the law. Please drink responsibly.
If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice Where to Donate
Black Lives Matter
What You Can Do (Megathread) A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are
Bastards" How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
Fighting Anti-Blackness Resource List (Harvard University)
Non-Optical Accompliceship Toolkit
Under Color of Law: Part 3 (Pearson v. Callahan)
Warning: this episode contains strong language not suitable for young listeners.
Section 1983 allows all of us to sue if our rights have been violated. But what if those rights don't exist? In 2009, the Supreme Court decided to find out.
Drinks: Hailstorm mint juleps, as made by John Dabney (further reading here).
Further reading for this episode:
Support protesters in Portland by clicking here. If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
- Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice Where to Donate
- Black Lives Matter
- What You Can Do (Megathread) A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are
- Bastards" How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
- Fighting Anti-Blackness Resource List (Harvard University)
- Non-Optical Accompliceship Toolkit
Under Color of Law: Part 2 (Graham v. Connor)
Content warning: police brutality and anti-Black violence.
Before you can sue a police officer under Section 1983, you have to pass a test—essentially demonstrating that your claim is good enough to proceed. It used to be that this test had four seemingly simple parts. But then Chief Justice Rehnquist came along. And the question is this—was William Rehnquist a reasonable man?
Drinks: The Baldy and Blood Hound as originally created by Tom Bullock, the first Black author of a cocktail book. His book, The Ideal Bartender, is available for purchase in various reprints or for free via Project Gutenberg.
Further reading for this episode:
- https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/a-1989-supreme-court-ruling-is-unintentionally-providing-cover-for-police-brutality/2020/06/08/91cc7b0c-a9a7-11ea-94d2-d7bc43b26bf9_story.html
- https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/23/us/colorado-fleeing-felon-rule.html
Justice for Elijah McClain
If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
- Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice Where to Donate
- Black Lives Matter
- What You Can Do (Megathread) A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are
- Bastards" How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
- Fighting Anti-Blackness Resource List (Harvard University)
- Non-Optical Accompliceship Toolkit
Under Color of Law: Part 1 (Harlow v. Fitzgerald)
Content warning: general discussion of police brutality against Black people.
What if we told you that, at least partly, the reason that police brutality persists so strongly in America today is corruption in President Nixon's Air Force? Drunk Law School is back with the first episode of a special three-part series on qualified immunity, Under Color of Law, with the case that created qualified immunity as we know it: Harlow v. Fitzgerald (1982).
Drinks: Gimlet and Gin Punch made in homage to Cato Alexander, the founding father of American cocktail making.
Further reading for this episode:
- https://www.lawfareblog.com/what-qualified-immunity-and-what-does-it-have-do-police-reform
- https://www.law.georgetown.edu/public-policy-journal/blog/its-time-to-limit-qualified-immunity/
If you're new to the fight for racial and economic justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
- Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice Where to Donate
- Black Lives Matter
- What You Can Do (Megathread) A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are
- Bastards" How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement
- Fighting Anti-Blackness Resource List (Harvard University)
- Non-Optical Accompliceship Toolkit
We're Back
The murder of George Floyd reinvigorated a national reckoning over police violence against Black people. And often, victims have no way to get justice. The reason? A hazy, convoluted legal doctrine known as "qualified immunity."
Drunk Law School will return on Monday, July 20, with Under Color of Law: a special three-part series that explores the origin of qualified immunity and how it intersects with police brutality.
In the meantime, the work of justice isn't finished. Breonna Taylor's killers are still free. Most U.S. cities have not passed meaningful police abolition. The United States still disproportionately kills and imprisons BIPOC, maintains segregation and unequal access to resources, and sits idly by while a global pandemic, largely controlled in nations with functioning governance, claims the lives of BIPOC at much higher rates than white people. The work continues.
If you're new to the fight for justice, or if you're looking for reading material, places to donate, and materials with which to educate yourself, please see below.
- Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice
- Where to Donate
- Black Lives Matter
- What You Can Do (Megathread)
- A Guide to Allyship and Why "All Cops Are Bastards"
- How to Support During the Black Lives Matter Movement (Megathread)
- Fighting Anti-Blackness Resource List (Harvard University)
- Non-Optical Accompliceship Toolkit
Learned Fucking Hand (United States v. Carroll Towing Co.)
With a name like "Learned Hand," you're either destined for greatness or being bullied at school a lot. Maybe both. But at least someone can finally tell us what the fuck duty is.
Drinks: Clementine Margaritas -- mix 2 oz. Espolón Reposado Tequila, 1 oz. fresh lime juice, .5 oz clementine juice, and .5oz simple syrup with ice. Shake and serve in a salt-rimmed glass.
Disclaimer: Neither of us is a lawyer. We don't know that much about the law and are trying our best. It's possible that we get stuff wrong on this show, and nothing heard in the podcast should be taken as a perfectly accurate description of standing case law. Nothing in this show constitutes legal advice, and we're not telling you that it's OK or not OK to do anything that might break the law. Please drink responsibly.
"You've Been Unduly Enriched by my Skins" (Hobbs v. Massasoit Whip Co.)
Drinks: Moscow Mule and Bailey's Hot Chocolate
Disclaimer: Neither of us is a lawyer. We don't know that much about the law and are trying our best. It's possible that we get stuff wrong on this show, and nothing heard in the podcast should be taken as a perfectly accurate description of standing case law. Nothing in this show constitutes legal advice, and we're not telling you that it's OK or not OK to do anything that might break the law. Please drink responsibly.
The Cult Boat Case (Whittaker v. Sandford)
After speaking with God and getting a little "higher" on life, a somewhat deranged and certainly narcissistic preacher from Maine named Frank Sandford decided to establish an outpost of his following, known as The Kingdom, in modern-day Israel. Things went more or less to plan—he established a chain of command between his followers and God by putting himself at the head (not culty), established "tiers" of followers (definitely not culty), and got a manslaughter conviction overturned (surely not culty in any way)—until Florence Whittaker wanted to go home.
Drinks: Omission Lager and Tanqueray Gin and tonic.
Disclaimer: Neither of us is a lawyer. We don't know that much about the law and are trying our best. It's possible that we get stuff wrong on this show, and nothing heard in the podcast should be taken as a perfectly accurate description of standing case law. Nothing in this show constitutes legal advice, and we're not telling you that it's OK or not OK to do anything that might break the law. Please drink responsibly.
Fireball (Derdiarian v. Felix Contracting Corp.)
A warning to listeners: this episode contains somewhat graphic descriptions of bodily harm from a construction accident.
"Mr. Worldwide to infinity
You know the roof on fire
We gon' boogie oogie oggi, jiggle, wiggle and dance
Like the roof on fire
We gon' drink drinks and take shots until we fall out
Like the roof on fire
Now baby give a booty naked
Take off all your clothes, and light the roof on fire
Tell her, tell her baby, baby, baby, baby
I'm on fire
I tell her baby, baby, baby, baby
I'm a fireball
(Fireball)" — Pitbull
Drinks: Wild Turkey 101, Tanqueray Gin and tonic, and Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey.
Disclaimer: Neither of us is a lawyer. We don't know that much about the law and are trying our best. It's possible that we get stuff wrong on this show, and nothing heard in the podcast should be taken as a perfectly accurate description of standing case law. Nothing in this show constitutes legal advice, and we're not telling you that it's OK or not OK to do anything that might break the law. Please drink responsibly.
Reading Period (O'Connor v. Oakhurst Dairy)
"For want of a comma, we have this case." — Judge David J. Barron, United States Court of Appeals for the First Circuit
Drinks: Pilsner Urquell and ice cream
Disclaimer: Neither of us is a lawyer. We don't know that much about the law and are trying our best. It's possible that we get stuff wrong on this show, and nothing heard in the podcast should be taken as a perfectly accurate description of standing case law. Nothing in this show constitutes legal advice, and we're not telling you that it's OK or not OK to do anything that might break the law. Please drink responsibly.
Five-Year-Old Smackdown (Garratt v. Dailey)
Welcome to WWE's Five-Year-Old Smackdown! In the plaintiff's corner, backed by an army of shameless lawyers and an insatiable hunger for vengeance, sporting a newly replaced steel hip, she's got medical bills and wants them paid: it's Ruth "One Hip Wonder" Garratt. And in the defendant's corner, weighing in at a measly forty pounds, don't be fooled by his small stature. He's got puppy dog eyes that could melt even the hardest hearts, and if that doesn't work he knows how to wield a steel folding chair: it's Brian "Big Baby" Dailey.
Let's get ready tooooooooo rumble!
Drinks: Bell's Two Hearted American IPA and the Rumdriver (it's just rum and orange juice, don't think too hard about this one)
Special thanks in this episode to Freesound.org user Benboncan, whose bell sample you heard at 6:20 and 7:10 of this episode. "Boxing bell" by Benboncan is licensed under CC BY 3.0.
Disclaimer: Neither of us is a lawyer. We don't know that much about the law and are trying our best. It's possible that we get stuff wrong on this show, and nothing heard in the podcast should be taken as a perfectly accurate description of standing case law. Nothing in this show constitutes legal advice, and we're not telling you that it's OK or not OK to do anything that might break the law. Please drink responsibly.
A Hopeful Time for White Men (Pennoyer v. Neff)
Dying of dysentery on the Oregon Trail, but make it edgy with a creepy teacher-turned-lawyer who tries to steal your land. Plus, the only time that our slow government bureaucracy ever helped anybody.
Drink: Taylor Fladgate 10 Year Old Tawny
Disclaimer: Neither of us is a lawyer. We don't know that much about the law and are trying our best. It's possible that we get stuff wrong on this show, and nothing heard in the podcast should be taken as a perfectly accurate description of standing case law. Nothing in this show constitutes legal advice, and we're not telling you that it's OK or not OK to do anything that might break the law. Please drink responsibly.
A Very Hairy Hand (Hawkins v. McGee)
For the debut episode of Drunk Law School, we ask the question: Is this podcast 100% perfect or 100% good?
Drinks: Batanga and Fire Road Sauvignon Blanc
Disclaimer: Neither of us is a lawyer. We don't know that much about the law and are trying our best. It's possible that we get stuff wrong on this show, and nothing heard in the podcast should be taken as a perfectly accurate description of standing case law. Nothing in this show constitutes legal advice, and we're not telling you that it's OK or not OK to do anything that might break the law. Please drink responsibly.
Syllabus Day (Introducing Drunk Law School)
What happens when a podcaster who likes to mix drinks and a law student with a taste for bourbon get together with microphones? Drunk Law School, apparently. Covering everything from calamitous contracts to tortuous torts, we explore legal cases both seminal and obscure. Along the way, we teach you the lessons that can be learned from case law and how to make a damn good Old Fashioned, all while knocking back a few ourselves. From Nickel Productions.
First Semester drops May 8th, with new episodes Mondays and Fridays. Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app.