The Total Whine Podcast

I share my four non-negotiables for balancing work and motherhood successfully. Here "successfully" is understood to mean "staying sane".

Were our grandmothers happier? Were things in general better in the past? Should we adopt lifestyles or hobbies from days gone by to be happier or even holier? In today's episode, I answer these questions using lots of non-cuss words.

An introspective look about where I started with Total Whine, where I am now, and where I hope to go. If you're new to the podcast, I recommend skipping this one in favor for one of my sex episodes first ;)

Suffering sucks, but it's part of life. Unhelpfully, most conversations talk about it in terms of needing to embrace it, smile through it, or avoid it like the plague. If none of those have worked for you, good news, there's another option. If you've ever wanted to have your pain taken away, or wondered why we suffer at all, this episode is for you.

It's the Feast of the Our Lady of the Rosary, my 11th renewal of Marian consecration, and I want to talk about my relationship with my Heavenly Momma. I think most Catholic women have struggled in their relationship with Mary at some point, and I want to share my experiences with her, not as a way to tell you where you need to be, but to invite you to think about Mary maybe in a way you haven't before.

In this episode, you are treated to the big ball of wire that is my brain where these wildly un-connectable dots - Catherine of Siena, Trad Bros and Ayn Rand - somehow connect. Find out how a conversation with a friend about the woman's experience of sex got my wires buzzing.

I asked my Instagram followers for topics they'd like me to discuss, and they delivered. I answered 3 questions:

1. Is it ok for Catholics to say "we're done" having kids, while still using NFP?

2. How to combat the "priests on a pedastal" mentality?

3. How to find supportive family/ couple friends and community in your parish?

The link I mentioned in my opening story: https://spermmeetseggplan.com/

The topic that only took me a year or so to tackle. My pitch can be summarized like so: yes, there are big issues with maternal care, but moralizing birth methods is not the solution. If you have no idea what birth wars are, you'll find out in the second half of the episode. The first half is just me going off about how we need to treat all birth with a deep sense of awe. Enjoy!

The episode in which I share our decision to homeschool this year. I also talk about why the urge to paint homeschooling as the morally superior decision in all situations because we live in a crazy world is, well to put it frankly, dumb.

You're going to love this conversation I have with my friend Fr. Andrew Clark of the Diocese of Arlington, VA about discernment. I saw a video of him talking about discernment in a way I'd never heard before and instantly new you needed to hear what he shared. In talking about NFP, one thing that comes up constantly is confusion over what discernment is, how to discern well, etc. Fr. Clark shares a beautiful, practical way to think about discernment, whether you're wondering if you should add a child to your family, or if you just need to log off Instagram - all synthesized from the wisdom of the saints.

And for those who know Fr. Clark and are wondering how we know each other, we kick off our conversation by answering that question.

It is definitely my passion to make space for people to talk about how NFP can be super sucky. But maybe I have some of you wondering: If NFP is so rough, why do it at all? Why not use some form of contraception instead?

In this episode, I answer this by sharing the question that led to my fully embracing NFP - Which means of avoiding or achieving pregnancy will help me and my spouse work towards wholeness in our marriage? Not the best sex or the most sex or the fewest fights or the most bliss. Rather wholeness, integration and Heaven.

I watched the Barbie movie and I laughed out loud. So many times! And I needed to spend a little time adding that to the noise. I also add my own critique on what the film has to say about masculinity. But mostly, this is me saying that if you enjoyed the movie as fun entertainment, you weren't alone.

In an episode that needs no introduction, I finally answer two of my favorite questions. I also share the results of the Instagram stories poll where I asked if you would mind me recording episodes with kiddo noise in the background now that they're out of school for the summer. The answer shocked me!

I included as much nuance as I could in both topics (without talking all day), particularly the vibrators. Did I capture everything? No. Will there be follow ups? More than likely. When will those drop? God knows.

This one is marked explicit, so keep this one out of earshot of the kiddos - but within earshot of husbands ;)

Today's episode is a weird conglomeration of my musings about how to both celebrate Mother's Day and the women who make the sacrifice of raising and loving little people AND to hold space for those who long for motherhood or who don't have children we can see. What does it look like to hold the both/and here? Spoiler alert, I don't really provide an answer. I'm opening the topic, and I'm asking for dialogue and honest ideas.

Hold on for some serious Catholic insider baseball in this part one of who knows how many episodes either directly or indirectly on this topic. I am getting into the nitty gritty of church teaching, what it actually says about sex and marriage, where this whole movement against NFP within the church comes from and why I speak out against it - all a result of 5 years of my own questioning and study. I read verbatim from sacred scripture, papal encyclicals, Canon Law, and  the Catechism, and pepper in plenty of my own commentary. 

When we talk about the  importance of motherhood, one of the questions that also pops up is this: how do we ensure that our children continue in the faith as they grow older? The answer might surprise you. As a part two to Episode 3: Where do mothers belong?, I'm taking a deeper dive into what our roles are as mothers when teaching our children about the character of God.

In the inaugural episode, Emily shares a little story about some of her kids' outbursts in mass, some important considerations if you've ever thought about doing a boudoir photo shoot, and why it's so important for *you* to be the first person that tells your kids about sex. 

Babies in mass  2:25 

Boudoir shoot 5:45 

Talking about sex to kids 15:25