Emotional Optimism: Living in The Silver Lining Podcast

Does your workplace truly celebrate diversity, or do they pressure people to conform? 

Today, we delve into a topic that affects us all – how to build a truly inclusive workplace where everyone can feel a sense of belonging.

Get ready for an eye-opening look at why fitting in should never come at the cost of fitting in.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• The trouble with culture fit

• The power of belonging

• Our differences make us strong.

Episode Highlights:

[00:00] The Power of Belonging

Brene Brown's quote, "True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are, it only requires you to be who you are" is something I’ve taken to heart. It emphasizes being your authentic self rather than feeling pressure to change to "fit in" to a company culture. 

[00:29] The Trouble with "Culture Fit"

The concept of "culture fit" can negatively impact workplace belonging. When you say, "a person doesn't fit in,” it implies someone is somehow not suitable for the company culture. And so, saying an employee "doesn't fit" the culture is antithetical to creating an environment where people can truly belong. 

No one is completely homogeneous with their coworkers - instead, the diverse backgrounds and experiences of all individuals is what makes a team dynamic and innovative. 

Rather than focusing on whether someone conforms to perceived cultural norms, companies should embrace the "motley crew" of people they employ. By hiring for skills and character over superficial "fit," workplaces can avoid exclusionary practices and ensure people feel comfortable simply being their authentic selves.

[00:50] The Wisdom of Many

Rather than focusing on hiring or promoting only those who seem inherently "smart," the diversity of perspectives on a team is what generates true intelligence. It's the "sum of the totality" or collective knowledge, skills, experiences and backgrounds that allows a group to be smarter than one.

Coming out can be an incredibly challenging experience for many people, often resulting in being estranged from loved ones who have difficulty accepting their sexuality or gender identity. When I came out, I faced rejection from my mother who didn't understand at first. The isolation of that period was incredibly difficult to go through alone.

However, moving to a new city where I could be myself without judgment was truly transformative. In San Francisco, I instantly found a community of LGBTQ allies who understood what I had been through. Surrounding myself with that support allowed me to heal and move forward into a new chapter of acceptance. Whether it's close friends, an LGBTQ center, or just moving to a more welcoming environment –- your people are out there!

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Personal story of coming out experience and being estranged from mother

• Importance of having a support system of friends, community, or LGBTQ center

• How moving to San Francisco provided a "playground" and instant friends

Episode Highlights:

[00:07] The Difficulty of Coming OutIt was a challenging experience of coming out to my mother. She didn't understand my sexuality at first and saw it only as a sexual thing, rather than an integral part of who I wasthey are. This lack of acceptance led us to become estranged from each other for some time. The isolation of this period was undoubtedly difficult to go through alone. However, moving to a new city eventually provided a fresh start as well as a place where we could fully be ourselves without judgment.

[00:35] The Power of CommunityIt’s important to have a strong support system, especially when facing challenges related to one's sexuality or identity. No one needs to go through such difficulties alone. Having even just a few close friends who can understand and empathize with what someone is experiencing makes a huge difference.

Beyond close friendships, being involved with the local LGBTQ community can help expand one's circle of support. For instance, community centers have amazing resources for people to connect with others. And there, they can gain acceptance and they can seek advice so they feel less isolated in their journey. And so, having that kind of community plays a vital role in feeling less alone and more empowered when navigating life's hardships.

[00:55] A Place to Be FreeMoving to San Francisco after a difficult “coming out” experience was truly transformative. The city was like a "playground" where I suddenly felt free to fully embrace my identity without judgment or constraints. It was easy to instantly connect with new friends who genuinely understood what I had been through. Surrounding myself with an encouraging community in a new home allowed me to heal from the isolation and start anew. Even just relocating to a more accepting environment can provide the safe space one needs to grow into their authentic self after facing rejection, allowing you to playfully move forward from a painful past into an optimistic future.

What kind of leader do you aspire to be? In our new podcast episode, we discuss the power of leading with love. Leaders who embody love not only inspire their teams but also foster environments of trust and respect. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Embracing love as a leadership quality

• The way we love others is the way we were loved

• The power of community

Episode Highlights:

[00:13] Embracing Love as a Leadership Quality

Leaders who embody love, who consistently demonstrate it in their actions and interactions, and possess the ability to both give and receive love, are the ones we aspire to follow. They not only represent the leadership of today but also set the standard for the leaders of tomorrow.

[00:42] The Reflection of Love: From Childhood to Success in Leadership

Our approach to expressing love is often a reflection of how we were loved during our formative years. This early experience serves as a foundation for how we either extend love to others or withhold it. By introspectively examining how our specific needs were met during childhood, we can better understand our own methods of caring for others. The way we attend to the specific needs of individuals within our team or company is crucial. Emphasizing once more, the capacity to love is fundamental to our success as human beings.

[02:00] The Importance of Community

In times past, we grew up in close-knit communities or tribes, where our needs were met by various members. However, modern society has shifted away from this communal living, leaving many feeling isolated and disconnected, except perhaps in workplaces, religious gatherings, or sports teams. This isolation makes us vulnerable. Yet, love serves as a “super glue,” binding us together. Our capacity to love varies based on our childhood experiences of love and care, or lack thereof, which can cause trauma. Nevertheless, we all possess the potential to embrace and embody love.

In today's episode, we delve into the concept of "kind candor" and its pivotal role in fostering a positive organizational culture. It’s an innovative approach that combines honesty with kindness when giving feedback to employees. By providing clear, specific, current, and actionable feedback, we enable employees to improve without feeling undermined. 

The ultimate objective of kind candor is to cultivate an environment of trust where employees are receptive to feedback, seeing it as an opportunity for growth and betterment in their roles. Tune in to learn more about how this strategy can revolutionize your workplace dynamics.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Background on moving to a culture of "kind candor" 

• Five principles of kind candor: kind, clear, specific, current, actionable

• Examples of giving feedback using kind candor approach

• The goal of kind candor

Episode Highlights:

[00:01] Moving from a Kind Culture to a Culture of Kind Candor

Our company's culture has focused on being kind for the past 14 years. This longstanding emphasis on kindness is something employees can rely on and feel they will be treated well. On the other hand, kind candor builds upon this existing kind culture by allowing for honest truths, or feedback, to be given to employees in order to help them improve. However, this feedback is done in a kind manner since the culture already emphasizes kindness.

[01:16] The Five Principles of Kind Candor

The five principles of kind candor are: Be kind. Be clear. Be specific. Be current. Be actionable. For example, an employee made multiple mistakes.  Point out the specific errors. Offer to work with the employee for free for the next 30 days to ensure the issue does not happen again. This offers clear, specific, current feedback on the mistakes, while taking an actionable approach to helping the employee improve through additional support, all delivered kindly.

[02:09] The Goal of Kind Candor

The purpose of kind candor is to help employees grow in their roles, not to punish them for mistakes. The feedback process is intended to build people up by giving guidance, rather than tearing them down or putting them on the defensive. When employees feel supported rather than attacked, they will be more open to feedback and improve based on the guidance. By implementing those five principles, you’re able to cultivate an environment where employees feel safe improving through honest discussions, rather than avoiding feedback out of fear.

Ever graded your own performance? In our new episode, we shed light on a unique exercise assigned  by Gary that had us all doing just that. We're sharing a fascinating leadership lesson: the power of self-graded performance. Hear how our team faced their weaknesses head-on to drive growth and collaboration. Discover how this transparency is steering us towards becoming the greatest organization in history.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Gary sets homework to self-grade performance

• Leadership shares grades and growth areas 

• Focus on partnership and making the organization the greatest

Episode Highlights:

[00:07] Leadership Shares Grades

We took Gary's homework assignment seriously and were honest about our weaknesses and opportunities. By openly admitting to grades of D or F in certain performance areas, it allowed for transparent discussion of improvement needs. This level of authenticity also likely helped foster collaboration, as others could understand how to support their colleagues better based on the self-identified challenges. Overall, it seemed to be a valuable exercise for the leadership to candidly assess their own performance.

[01:04] Commitment to Growth

We need to commit to spending time with each person every month to build partnership and address issues proactively. The goal is to build stronger partnerships where we can support each other and address any issues before they escalate. Making this commitment shows our willingness to improve in an important area through dedicated relationship building with our colleagues.

[01:32] Vision of Being the Greatest 

Gary's vision is for the organization to be the greatest in history. Honest self-evaluation, like the exercise Gary assigned, is crucial for achieving this ambitious level of success. By grading ourselves and openly discussing weaknesses and opportunities for growth, the leadership team can effectively work on improvements and partner together to help each other excel. This type of candid evaluation and support among the team will help drive them to reach new heights as an organization.

In a world where effective teamwork is essential for success, understanding the importance of emotional efficiency can revolutionize the way teams operate. In this episode, we delve into the realm of emotional intelligence and how it enables teams to have productive discussions and make quick decisions. By cultivating trust and fostering genuine connections among team members, emotional efficiency becomes the foundation for creating an environment where everyone feels safe to express their ideas and opinions. Join us as we explore how developing psychological safety and connection can unlock the true potential of your team, leading to enhanced effectiveness and collaboration.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Emotional efficiency speeds up decision making

• Trust and understanding come from time spent together

• Psychological safety allows open discussions

Episode Highlights:

Emotional Efficiency: The Secret to Effective Communication

At Vayner, there is a hidden gem that often goes unnoticed - emotional efficiency. Through spending ample time together, whether in pitches, events, or internal discussions, the team has cultivated strong bonds and trust. This not only creates a sense of psychological safety but also allows for a shorthand communication style. Conversations can dive deep into important topics, swiftly resolving them and leaving them in the past. This level of emotional efficiency enables the team to work with speed and effectiveness, constantly honing this invaluable skill.

Unlocking the Power of Emotional Efficiency: The Vayner Approach

One noteworthy aspect of Vayner's success lies in their mastery of emotional efficiency. Over time, team members have developed a profound understanding of one another, fostering deep connections and trust. This foundation enables swift, no-nonsense discussions that leave previous issues behind. Consequently, Vayner excels in being fast and efficient, constantly training themselves to maintain this crucial muscle. By embracing emotional efficiency, Vayner unlocks their true potential and paves the way for effective collaboration and decision-making.

Growth can be elusive when we're in the midst of it. But it is only truly realized when we emerge from the depths. It's a unique journey for each person, and to authentically discuss growth, we must acknowledge the vulnerable moments that shaped us. In this episode, learn how vulnerability allows us to shed our armor and authentically connect with ourselves and those around us. 

When you learn how to strengthen your relationships, foster growth, and become a more effective leader – new horizons await!

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• The power of vulnerability in leadership

• Leading with authenticity

• Sharing our lived experience in pursuit of growth

Episode Highlights:

[00:10] The Power of Vulnerability in Leadership

The number one skill for any leader and manager lies in embracing vulnerability. It can be learned or discovered through personal journeys, especially during moments of stumbling and growth. By shedding our armor and releasing shame, we create an environment where authenticity thrives. As leaders, our role is to work for and with our people, fostering a safe space where we can share our mistakes and lessons learned. Growth may not always be apparent in the depths, but by acknowledging vulnerability, we can inspire others and truly connect on our journey towards success.

[00:55] Leading with Authenticity

As leaders, our primary role is to work alongside and support our people. Gone are the days of asserting dominance and shutting others out. True leadership lies in creating a safe space where we can remove our armor and openly share our mistakes and moments of falling down. It's about acknowledging that growth is not always a straight path. By embracing vulnerability, we cultivate authenticity and inspire others to persevere, for it is in our shared experiences that true growth flourishes.

[01:35] Sharing Our Lived Experience in Pursuit of Growth

Understanding and measuring growth can be challenging while immersed in it. It's only upon resurfacing that we truly grasp the progress made. Growth manifests uniquely for each individual, making it essential to openly discuss our goals and vulnerabilities. By summoning courage and faith, we can step into our truth and embrace our imperfections. There is no shame in sharing our dyslexia or any other personal experiences. As leaders, we have the privilege of offering guidance based on our lived experiences. Let us seize this opportunity to inspire others and leave behind what doesn't serve them.

Introducing the Honey Empire philosophy where “honey” comprises 51% and the “empire” claims the remaining 49%. But here's the intriguing part, that seemingly small 1% holds immense significance. It represents our approach to treating people, our behavior, and our role as Vayner citizens. Behind every great business is great leadership. Hear how Gary Vaynerchuk and his team at The Honey Empire prioritize emotional intelligence and necessary life skills to build a top talent culture.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Embracing emotional intelligence and kindness

• The power of prioritizing people and essential life skills

• Uniting vision, behavior, and trust in pursuit of success

Episode Highlights:

[00:07] Embracing Emotional Intelligence and Kindness

In every situation, we strive to be the bigger person, making attempts to forgive, embracing kindness, compassion, and humility. These qualities form the very essence of our emotional intelligence, skills, and traits. However, embodying them can be challenging without self-awareness or guidance. The Honey Empire encourages us to embrace these values and make a positive impact on those around us

[00:47] The Power of Prioritizing People and Essential Life Skills at the Honey Empire

At the Honey Empire, we prioritize teaching necessary life skills alongside hard skills, resulting in remarkable success within our organization. By putting our people first, we experience internal growth, attract top talent, retain employees, and benefit from word-of-mouth recruiting. This investment in our team translates into exceptional outcomes for clients and a delightful experience for consumers. We believe that true ROI comes from valuing and empowering our employees, as they become more engaged, innovative, and motivated, even bringing their friends along as ambassadors of our mission. At the Honey Empire, we foster an environment where success and enjoyment thrive through a focus on essential life skills and prioritizing our people

[01:29] Uniting Vision, Behavior, and Trust in Pursuit of Succes

At the Honey Empire, we excel at seamlessly bringing together all the vital components and venturing into the market with purposeful behavior. Our approach is a unique blend of intuition and clear communication, often conveyed through grunts or quick texts. Gary and I have spent considerable time together, forging a strong bond of trust. It is my utmost commitment to bring his vision, mission, and desired culture to life within the empire. Together, we strive to achieve greatness and make our mark in the hunting industry.

This week, we delve into the unique culture of our company and the critical role of trust within it. Our discussion today offers key insights into how we empower new hires by immediately placing trust in them, recognizing their value from day one, and eliminating the need for initial proof of worth. We also shed light on the importance we place on active listening and inquiry for new employees, and how understanding the dynamics of our company can lead to effective contributions. Here's a glimpse into the episode highlights that unravel our unconventional approach to fostering a culture of trust and curiosity.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Immediate trust in new hires

• Recognition of employee value from day one

• No need for initial proof of worth

• Emphasis on active listening and inquiry for new employees

• Understanding company dynamics to contribute effectively

Episode Highlights:

[00:08] Prioritizing Trust: The Unique Pillar of Our Company Culture

• One of the most commendable practices we uphold in our company is our approach to trust. We are a company that puts trust first, a rarity in my experience. It's a palpable feeling here, unlike other places where 'people first' is only a slogan.

[00:27] Trust First: The Golden Ticket to Our Company Culture

• Our rigorous vetting process, often extending to six or eight weeks, ensures that we've thoroughly assessed each potential hire before they step through our doors. After numerous interviews and extensive discussions, it's only logical that we place our trust in you. We've invested considerable time in getting to know you. Hence, there's no need for you to prove your worth upon joining us. Your value has already been established. You've earned the golden ticket, akin to Willy Wonka's coveted prize.

[00:46] Embracing Curiosity: Navigating Your First Week in the Company

• In the first week of orientation, I emphasize to newcomers that their value is already recognized - they've made it through the door. Now, their contribution can expand by taking the time to listen and ask questions. Understand what drives us, what sets us apart. Explore why we're causing such a stir in the market, why we've chosen our particular approach. Delve into our methods and motives.

A safe workplace for all - that's the goal of today’s conversation. Listen in as we discuss how we, as leaders, can create an environment where people feel they belong and can be their authentic selves. We share insights on building trust and connections so that anyone who suffers in silence feels comfortable speaking up. Most importantly, they promise to support each other through options and solutions, not answers, and ensure no one has to go through challenges alone. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Fostering openness and comfort in workplace

• Creating a safe space and comfort in the workplace

• Embracing empathetic leadership

Episode Highlights:

[00:07] Fostering Openness and Comfort in the Workplace

Creating an inclusive and open work environment is a priority for us, where everyone feels safe and supported. While we strive to provide a conducive space for our team members, it is equally important that each individual feels comfortable enough to share their thoughts and experiences. Despite our best efforts, there may be instances where someone might not feel at ease. We recognize that this can happen even if we have done everything within our power to encourage openness.

[00:30] Creating a Safe Space for Belonging and Support

In our quest to foster a sense of belonging and importance among our team members, it is crucial to recognize that we cannot force anyone to change or open up. Our goal is to create a safe space where individuals feel valued and understood, but we cannot achieve this for everyone. Building trust and connection is essential in creating that safety, and while some may choose to share their experiences with us, others may find solace with different colleagues throughout our organization. We must strive to create a safe space for everyone. If you are unsure how to do this or feel uncomfortable, it’s important leaders are able to facilitate a conversation about it. 

[02:19] Embracing Empathetic Leadership: Prioritizing Well-being and Support for All

It takes self-awareness to step aside and prioritize someone else's well-being. Remember, it is not about us; it is about creating an environment where individuals can be heard and supported. As leaders, we are here to listen to them and connect them with the right person. We may not have all the answers, but it’s important we’re able to come up with options and solutions so we can be there for them in every step of the way. This is what empathetic leadership is all about - having each other's backs and ensuring that no one faces challenges alone.

As leaders, there are certainly tough days when we don't feel our best. In this insightful discussion, learn about the importance of self-compassion in leadership and why asking yourself "What do I need?" on those difficult days can help you refocus on self-care. I’m also sharing the challenges and loneliness of leadership, and why going easy on yourself is very important in self-care. 

Tune in for relatable advice on balancing empathy for others with empathy for yourself - even on your worst days. This is a must-listen for any leader looking to sustain well-being in high-pressure roles.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• How to practice self-compassion as an empathetic leader on bad days

• The power of asking yourself “What do I need?”

• The loneliness of leadership and the importance of self-compassion

Episode Highlights:

[00:08] How to Practice Self-Compassion as an Empathetic Leader on Bad Days

As an empathetic leader, it's natural to want to always show up as your best self. However, there will be days when you fall short and don't meet your own high expectations. It's important to practice self-compassion on these bad days.

When you find yourself in this situation, try to acknowledge your feelings and the fact that you're not perfect. Ask yourself what you need in that moment to help you move forward. Maybe it's taking a break, talking to a friend or colleague, or simply practicing some deep breathing exercises.

It's also important to let go of any negative self-talk or self-judgment. Remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes and that you're still growing and learning as a leader. Instead of dwelling on your shortcomings, focus on the positive actions you can take to improve.

[00:40] The Power of Asking Yourself "What Do I Need?"

As human beings, we all have moments where we miss the mark and don't meet our own expectations. During these times, it's natural to feel frustrated or overwhelmed. However, instead of dwelling on what went wrong, it's important to ask yourself a simple yet powerful question: "What do I need?"

By shifting your focus to your needs in the present moment, you can take steps to prioritize your well-being and improve your overall state of mind. It may be as simple as taking a break, practicing self-care, or reaching out to a supportive friend or colleague.

[01:08] The Loneliness of Leadership and the Importance of Self-Compassion

• Being a leader can be an isolating experience that leaves you feeling confused and overwhelmed. It can feel like you're having conversations behind closed doors that are alarming and stressful. It's important to recognize that it's okay to struggle and that you need to go easy on yourself. Finding compassion for yourself can be difficult but it's crucial for your well-being. Making friends and building a peer group is essential for support. Remember, you need each other – the group of peers you surround yourself with and the ones you don't want are equally important in your growth as a leader. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, it's not always easy but it's worth it.

Ever heard of the term “empathetic leadership”? But what does that really mean? In this episode, learn how empathy leads to kindness and compassion through our actions – rather than just emotions. Together, let’s explore how assuming others may be going through something and greeting them with care, tenderness, and support can positively impact others. This episode is a great reminder of the importance of focusing on how we make others feel!

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Empathy and its role in kindness and compassion

• Empathetic leadership and kindness in the workplace

Episode Highlights:

[00:10] Empathy and Its Role in Kindness and Compassion

• Empathy is the driving force behind kindness and compassion, shaping our ability to understand and connect with others. Teaching children these values is crucial, as they lay the foundation for empathy through behaviors like sharing and gratitude. In moments when we feel unsure, simple acts of kindness and asking how we can support someone can make a significant impact. Empathy goes beyond trying to fully understand another's perspective; instead, it allows us to be supportive passengers on their unique journey. Regardless of our differences, empathy enables us to connect on a fundamental human level and become skilled companions to those around us.

[01:52] Empathetic Leadership and Kindness in the Workplace

• We believe in the power of collective work and turning those we lead into champions, ultimately allowing us all to grow and succeed together. Empathetic leadership is at the core of our values, reminding us to do the right thing and be a source of calm for others in their storms. We recognize that everyone is facing their own challenges, so let's approach each interaction with tenderness and intention. Our energy speaks volumes before we even say a word, leaving a lasting impact on others. Let's prioritize making others feel valued and remembered, knowing that how we make them feel is what truly matters.

My path wasn't always clear - I struggled in school with dyslexia but found my strengths in sports and connecting with others. After some exploring and setbacks, I discovered a passion for human behavior that led me to a career in advertising. My story shows that success takes twists and turns. Have faith that every experience, even the hard times, contributes to who you are meant to become. Tune in to hear how I kept learning from life and following my interests, which allowed opportunities I never saw coming. I hope my story inspires you as you walk your own nonlinear path.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• A struggle with dyslexia

• Navigating the digital world

• Embracing adventure and coaching

• The power of versatility at VaynerMedia

Episode Highlights:

[00:09] Overcoming Challenges and Exploring Alternative Paths

Growing up as a dyslexic student, I faced significant struggles in traditional education. However, my passion for soccer and tennis allowed me to shine as a team captain. Despite my academic difficulties, I developed a love for people and embraced the messy journey of self-discovery. Taking a break from college, I delved into deep spirituality and energy work while living in San Francisco. This period of exploration eventually led me back to school, where I immersed myself in psychology and human behavior. The tools and knowledge I gained from studying Buddhism and energy work still guide me today.

[02:42] A Serendipitous Journey to London and Meeting Gary Vaynerchuk

• In 1998, I started my career in the digital industry, quickly excelling as a project manager with a talent for teamwork and motivation. This led me to advertising agencies in San Francisco, where I transitioned from project manager to account manager and eventually became a strategist, propelling my career forward. A fortunate opportunity arose to work at JWT London despite the economic downturn in 2009, leading to four successful years in the city. It was during this time that I crossed paths with renowned business figure Gary Vaynerchuk, resulting in an instant connection and my subsequent move to New York City to join him.

[04:42] Embracing Adventure and Coaching Along the Way

Before my time in London, I experienced the challenges of post-9/11 layoffs in the dot-com industry. To overcome this setback, I co-founded an outdoor adventure surfing company called Girls Adventure Owl in San Francisco. Spending 256 days in the Pacific Ocean teaching surfing, rock climbing, and mountaineering, I discovered my love for coaching and cheering others on. This passion for guiding and supporting others remains a core part of who I am today.

[05:25] The Power of Versatility and Collaboration at VaynerMedia

Joining VaynerMedia unlocked a world of endless possibilities. The company fosters a culture of becoming practitioners in various fields, allowing me to explore and excel in different areas. With each opportunity thrown my way, whether it's catching the ball or passing it to a teammate, I embrace the challenge and contribute to the team's success. It is this collaborative spirit that defines our work at VaynerMedia and empowers us to achieve greatness together.

Discover the power of relational intelligence and unlock the key to building meaningful connections. Tune in to this episode as I delve into the importance of authentic communication, self-awareness, and nurturing relationships. I’m also sharing some insights on why younger employees may try to get all their needs met at work and some perspective on how to widen your lens. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• The importance of relational intelligence

• Navigating the multigenerational workplace

• Embracing the beautiful chaos

Episode Highlights:

[00:07] The Importance of Relational Intelligence

Our experiences, from unmet expectations to missed achievements, can leave us feeling invalidated and craving support. Whether it's parents not attending our soccer practices or failing to secure a trophy, these moments shape our family dynamics, chosen connections, and relationships. Navigating the complexities of life requires a deep understanding of relational intelligence. This essential skill empowers us to engage authentically, communicate effectively, and thrive in various social settings. In today's world, developing relational intelligence is crucial not only for personal growth but also for navigating everyday interactions with ease.

[00:37] Navigating the Multigenerational Workplace

In today's workplace, we find ourselves amidst a diverse mix of five generations. Managing such a dynamic can be challenging, especially when considering the differing needs and expectations of Generation Z, Millennials, Generation X, and Baby Boomers. Younger individuals often come to work seeking fulfillment, driven by unmet needs in various areas of their lives. However, it is important to acknowledge that work alone cannot meet all those needs, just as relationships fall short in fulfilling every aspect of our lives. As we navigate this complex landscape, it is crucial to broaden our perspective and recognize that relying solely on the workplace to provide purpose, job opportunities, and personal growth is unrealistic. While there may not be a definitive solution, understanding this reality can help us reassess our expectations and seek fulfillment in a balanced and holistic way.

[01:37] Embracing the Beautiful Chaos

Life is a beautifully messy journey for all of us, and I find joy in the midst of it. It's an honor when someone trusts me enough to include me in their mess. With boundaries in place, I see myself as a passenger, never taking control or steering the car. I'm there to offer validation and support, letting them know that they matter and they are safe within the walls we create together. No matter what challenges arise, we can find solutions and rebuild. In this space, they can spread their wings and soar, knowing I'll be there as their faithful passenger.

Our ability to handle feelings develops over time, that’s why it's so important to have strategies for sharing or containing emotions appropriately at your job. As leaders, we play a key role in supporting staff through challenging times by providing guidance – not isolation. 

Today, let's talk about navigating emotional boundaries in the workplace and embracing emotional support in the professional setting. By creating a supportive environment where emotional well-being is prioritized, we can foster a healthier and more productive workplace.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Navigating emotional boundaries in the workplcae

• Embracing emotional support in the workplace

Episode Highlights:

[00:22] Navigating Emotional Boundaries in the Workplace

In the workplace, it's crucial to have self-awareness and know how much to share with colleagues, how much to keep to oneself, and what to save for therapy or close friends. However, some individuals may choose to express everything they're going through. As leaders or HR professionals who genuinely care, it becomes our responsibility to support and help them rebuild without isolating them.

[01:04] Embracing Emotional Support in the Workplace

In the past, emotions were rarely acknowledged or valued in the workplace until the arrival of Gen Z. There was no concern for how employees felt, even for something as minor as having a splinter. Nowadays, everyone has their share of challenges. As a metaphorical duty, my role is to listen and acknowledge their struggles by saying, "I hear you got a splinter." I then guide them towards the available resources, like a first aid kit, empowering them to take control of their own healing rather than simply providing a temporary solution like a band-aid. This approach fosters a supportive environment where emotional well-being is prioritized.

In the workplace, emotions are contagious. The energy we bring not only affects ourselves but also influences those around us. In this episode, I talk about how we can make a conscious effort to create a positive and supportive atmosphere where everyone's emotions are respected and acknowledged. Together, we can build a thriving work culture!

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• How Gen Z workers want more openness and transparency in the workplace

• The balance between sharing emotions at work and being too emotional 

• The importance of awareness of others and inclusive leadership

• The role of emotional contagion and how leaders set the tone

• The need for leaders to be aware of different workers' needs and situations

Episode Highlights:

[07:53] Navigating Gen Z's Emotional Expression in the Workplace

In our midst, we are fortunate to have an abundance of Gen Z individuals who are eager to open up and share their innermost thoughts, aspirations, challenges, and worries with you. It leads us to ponder the following: Where do we draw the line between appropriate and excessive emotional expression in the professional setting?

[08:28] Finding Connection Beyond the Screen

In this era of constant digital immersion, it is undeniable that a significant portion of our lives is spent in isolation, hidden behind screens. It is intriguing to note that despite the virtual barriers, we often remain oblivious to the most basic details about those around us, like their physical appearance. However, as we step into different cultural, professional, or social environments such as work, church, or soccer practice, we are bound to encounter individuals who share our experiences and stand alongside us, bridging the gap of solitude.

[09:10] The Power of Emotional Contagion: Spreading Positive Energy

In every social setting, whether it's a birthday party, a place of worship, or the office, there exists a fascinating phenomenon known as emotional contagion. When we enter a room, we carry with us a unique energy that has the potential to positively influence those around us. It is crucial to be cognizant of this power and the impact it can have on others, emphasizing the importance of being attuned to the emotions and experiences of those we encounter.

Creating a positive and compassionate working environment starts with leading by example. In this episode, we discuss the importance of leading with our hearts in a working environment. Leading by example is crucial to enabling and empowering others to do the same. The world in which we live can present triggers that affect our behavior, but consistency in how we show up is crucial. Learn how to create a positive working environment that enables everyone to lead with their hearts.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Modeling good behaviors to empower others to lead with their hearts

• The importance of consistency

• Showing up in a way others want you in the room

• Seeing the best in people

Episode Highlights:

[00:01] The Importance of Leading by Example and Consistency in Empowering Others

Enabling and empowering others to be their best selves starts with modeling good behaviors and leading by example. By consistently demonstrating kindness, compassion, and positivity, we can inspire others to do the same. Whether it's holding the door open or simply saying hello, small acts of kindness can create a ripple effect that positively impacts the workplace environment. Our actions can influence and empower others to lead with their hearts. So let’s strive for consistency in our behavior and be a positive force in the workplace, inspiring others to do the same.

[00:08] The Power of Positive Presence and Seeing the Best in People

When we show up in a way that others want us in the room, we bring positive energy that can influence and empower those around us. By demonstrating compassion and kindness, we can inspire others to follow suit and lead with their hearts. Seeing the best in people, recognizing their potential, and supporting them in their growth can make a significant impact on the workplace environment. 

Being consistent in our behavior, modeling good behaviors, and spending time understanding what might be preventing others from showing kindness is crucial. By taking these steps, we can create a positive and uplifting environment that enables everyone to thrive. So let's embrace the power of positive presence and see the best in people to empower them to lead with their hearts.

Today, we focus on the power of asking for help from those closest to us, the importance of understanding and connecting with the human experience, and what we truly deserve in life. In this episode, we highlight how we can all strive for a more fulfilling life and support one another in our journeys. Join us as we explore these universal themes and gain insights that can help us navigate the ups and downs of life.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• The power of asking your people

• Focusing on the human experience

• What we all truly deserve

Episode Highlights:

[00:27] The Power of Asking Your People

It's fascinating to feel deserving enough to approach certain individuals, regardless of whether you're reaching out to one or multiple people. If they're your people, you'll feel comfortable being vulnerable with them. It's crazy to think that despite our vastly different backgrounds and ages, we can still have meaningful conversations about universal human experiences. It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, or what your beliefs are - we all go through struggles and can relate to one another.

[00:32] Focusing on the Human Experience

It's pretty amazing that despite our vastly different life experiences and ages, we can still have such an authentic and meaningful conversation. This just goes to show that real issues affect everyone, regardless of their background, ethnicity, religion, or relationship status. At the end of the day, we all share the human experience.

[01:05] What We All Truly Deserve

We all want to lead fulfilling lives and avoid getting caught up in negative patterns. We deserve more than just a mediocre existence, and as we grow and evolve, we learn how to rise above our challenges and limitations. As we meet new people along the way, we naturally want to support and uplift them in any way we can. After all, we're all on this journey together.

In this podcast episode, we explore one of the most fundamental human needs - connection. We delve into the origin of the word "connection" and what it truly means for us as individuals living in a society. As humans, we seek to bind ourselves together, to connect with others in a way that allows us to become one. 

We discuss how the need for connection is wired into us from birth, how it shapes our work relationships, and why it's essential to belong. Join us as we explore the power of connection and how it can help us create magic in our lives.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Connection is a fundamental human need that comes from the Middle English word "binding together."

• Seeking connection allows us to become one in a moment of trust and validation

• Why validation is even more essential than connection 

• Connection and validation are crucial in building workplace relationships

• Human beings are wired to connect and belong but fail to recognize the importance of both in our personal and professional lives

Episode Highlights:

[00:30] Connection = Binding Together

"Connection" comes from Middle English and means "binding together." As humans, we desire connection and a sense of belonging through trust and validation. In these moments, we become one with others, sharing our experiences and validating our existence. This speaks to our human nature and the importance of building meaningful relationships.

[01:20] Building Mutual Trust and Validation

In a moment of connection, there is mutual trust and validation, and we share our experiences with each other. We listen to each other with empathy and validate each other's existence to the best of our abilities. This creates a feeling of becoming one with the other person.

[01:42] Why Validation is More Important that Connection

Validation is the act of truly seeing, hearing, and understanding another person. It means giving them permission to go forth and pursue their goals with the knowledge that they have your support and validation as a witness and mirror. In many ways, validation is even more essential than connection because it represents the next step in forming a strong bond with someone. It says, "I see you, I hear you, and I've got you." This mutual sense of validation allows us to bind together and do great things.

[02:24] Connection in the Workplace

The power of connection is something that we can all benefit from, especially in the workplace. We are wired to connect and belong, and this is our time to come together, bind with one another, and create something magical. So, do something! Bind together and make things happen. With connection and collaboration, anything is possible. 

In a world that constantly demands our attention, it's easy to overlook the little things that make all the difference. We don't need grand gestures or flashy demonstrations of affection to feel valued. Instead, it's the small moments - the validation in a conversation, the effort to check in on someone, the willingness to truly listen - that hold real meaning. Join us today as we discuss how these little things can create a big impact on our relationships.

Unfortunately, in our busy lives, these moments often fall by the wayside, and with them, the connections they foster. And yet, as many have pointed out, these connections are crucial. They form the foundation of psychological safety, the fertile soil in which trust can grow. In short, it's the little things that help us truly connect with one another and create a sense of belonging. So let's not forget to take a moment to appreciate them.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Why the little things matter in conversations

• Why bypassing validation and listening hurts relationships

• How creating a sense of belonging strengthens relationships

Episode Highlights:

[00:13] Why The Little Things Matter in Conversation

In our fast-paced lives, it's all too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily tasks and responsibilities. We rush from one thing to the next, barely taking a moment to catch our breath, let alone connect with those around us. And yet, it's the connections we make that ultimately bring meaning and depth to our lives.

That's why the extra moments we take in a conversation - the validation we offer, the effort to check in on someone, the willingness to truly listen and understand - are so incredibly crucial. These acts may seem small in the grand scheme of things, but they can have a profound impact on our relationships and our sense of belonging.

[00:35] Why Bypassing Validation and Listening Hurts Relationships

When we let the busy-ness of life overwhelm us, it's easy to forget the importance of truly connecting with those around us. We may engage in polite conversation, exchange pleasantries, and even discuss pressing matters, but unless we take the time to really listen and understand one another, we're missing out on something vital. In fact, when we bypass the crucial step of validation, checking in, and listening to understand, we're not just skipping an interaction - we're bypassing a connection. And it's those connections that really matter in the end. They form the fabric of our relationships, providing a sense of support, belonging, and understanding that can sustain us through even the toughest times.

[00:44] How Creating a Sense of Belonging Strengthens Relationships

Creating a sense of psychological safety is essential for fostering healthy relationships, whether in the workplace or in our personal lives. It acts as the foundation upon which trust and belonging can grow. If we take psychological safety as our common denominator, it's like the soil that underlies the growth of any plant. Just like plants need fertilizer to thrive, relationships need psychological safety to flourish. By establishing a sense of belonging and acceptance, we provide the nutrients necessary for trust and connection to take root. Once psychological safety is in place, the fibers of trust start to get sewn into the connection between individuals. Trust is the glue that holds relationships together, and it allows us to take risks and be vulnerable with one another. This vulnerability, in turn, leads to deeper connections and a greater sense of understanding and empathy.

Giving feedback to employees is an essential part of leadership and an essential part of a person's growth. However, it can be challenging to deliver feedback that doesn't come across as cold, biased or too personal. I have the honor of giving people my “subjective” feedback daily, and what I have learned in these years, is before I speak, it's important to ensure I am coming from a neutral place, my feedback will be clear and specific and it will also be kind and actionable. Coming from a neutral place can help ensure that the feedback is received positively and is aimed at helping the employee realize their potential.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Checking your motivations behind giving feedback

• Delivering feedback from a kind, clear and neutral place

• Turning employees into heroes

Episode Highlights:

[00:08] Delivering Feedback from a Neutral Place

As a person who regularly gives feedback to employees, it is crucial to approach every interaction with care. It is necessary to avoid letting personal biases and opinions cloud our judgments. When providing feedback, it's vital to ensure that we are coming from a neutral place, with the employee's growth and development as the focal point.

Before giving feedback, it's important to check our motivations. We need to ensure that we are coming from a place of equality and neutrality. It's crucial to remember that feedback is not about us, but rather, it's about the employee's growth and success. A neutral approach fosters a sense of safety, facilitating open communication with our employees. This improves our ability to deliver feedback that can be impactful and well-received.

[00:31] Turning Employees Into Heroes

Giving feedback can be scary, but it can also be an opportunity to turn employees into heroes. As a leader, it's crucial to approach these conversations with kindness, clarity, and good intentions. When delivering feedback, it's essential to be kind and clear with your intentions. Coming from a place of empathy and respect can help employees feel valued and supported. Being clear with your message ensures that the employee understands your expectations and the areas they need to work on.

As a leader, you may not have all the answers. Still, you have a good idea of some of the solutions employees should take to improve. Sharing your ideas provides employees with actionable steps they can take to develop and grow. This approach shows you're invested in their success and committed to helping them progress in their careers. As a result, feedback becomes an ongoing conversation, and employees trust their leaders to help them achieve their goals and develop in their roles.

At times, being vulnerable can be uncomfortable and scary, particularly in the workplace where there is an emphasis on projecting strength and professionalism. However, it is this vulnerability that often brings us closer to our colleagues and allows us to connect on a personal level. 

In this episode, we’re going to dive into how you can leverage vulnerability and turn it into a superpower. Let's break the stigma surrounding vulnerability. It takes courage to be vulnerable, and we want to celebrate that. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Creating a safe space where employees can be vulnerable and courageous is important for their well-being and performance.

• Fear of being seen as weak or sensitive may prevent people from being vulnerable at work.

• Encouraging vulnerability and offering support can foster trust and improve relationships between colleagues.

• Showing empathy and appreciation for someone's vulnerability can make them feel seen and heard.

Episode Highlights:

“I said to him “I want this to be a place where people feel like they can be vulnerable, where they can be courageous, and they don't have to ask if they can share something with another"

[00:02] Creating a Safe Space at Work

I had this moment today with an employee who came in and asked if he could be vulnerable with me and he shared some stuff going on with him that contributed to his performance issues amidst being a high performer. 

We all want a safe space for our employees to share their vulnerability, a safe space where they feel they can be courageous, where they don’t have to ask, and where their vulnerability is not seen as a weakness. 

[00:39] Recognizing Strength in Vulnerability

As leaders, we must strive to provide a safe space where employees can share their vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or retaliation. It's crucial to create an environment where they feel safe enough to be courageous by speaking up.

Vulnerability has often been stigmatized as a weakness; however, it takes an immense amount of strength to allow oneself to be vulnerable. And as leaders, acknowledging and responding to vulnerability can go a long way in creating an inclusive and supportive environment.

Whether in business or personal life, a pivot happens in a person’s life, usually, when there is a certain rumbling or hunger inside for more or for something different. This feeling of restlessness or dissatisfaction is often our nudge that we probably need to explore new opportunities, take on new challenges, or pursue different goals.

In today’s episode, I’m sharing how I pivoted from my role as a client service strategist to now, in service of the people. That rumbling started six years even before I actually did it. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Listening to the rumbling inside

• The value of a coach

• The importance of self-awareness to stay attuned to the signs around us

• Welcoming our signs and messages with open arms

Episode Highlights:

[00:16] The Value of a Coach

The decision to pivot is a deeply personal one, and the process will vary depending on the individual and the situation. However, it's important to approach the decision with an open mind, a willingness to take risks, and a commitment to makeing informed choices. Taking action can really be challenging and may require support, especially from a coach, to give you the confidence you need. 

[01:08] The Importance of Self-Awareness

When we are self-aware and in- tune with ourselves, we are more likely to recognize the signs and messages that we receive from our inner voice or intuition. By developing our self-awareness, we can better understand our own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and make more conscious and intentional decisions that align with our values and goals.

[01:21] Welcoming Signs with Open Arms

When we have that level of self-awareness, we can easily push away things in a relationship or bad habits or self-sabotaging behaviors that. It may come up and jump and get you in some way shape or form. But what’s important is you welcome them with open arms.

By welcoming these patterns with open arms, we can begin to understand why they are present and how they are serving us. This understanding can help us develop more compassionate and effective strategies for addressing these patterns and creating healthier behaviors and relationships.

Who wouldn’t want to be working for a company with the type of culture that’s kind and collaborative? If you are nodding your head, then you most likely relate to the vibes of that company - and you have that culture inside of you. You will then carry that with you, no matter where you go. 

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Figuring out different company cultures

• Culture is everyone’s responsibility

• Carrying culture with you

Episode Highlights:

[01:12] Identifying with the Culture That’s Already Within You

When you love what you’re doing in the company and you’ve already identified with it, then that culture is already within you. 

[01:24] Asking About a Company’s Culture

As you go and interview places, you're going to want to ask around if they’ve got a happy culture and what way is it reflected. A good way to find out about a company’s culture is to ask the interviewers themselves. 

[02:00] Everyone’s Responsibility

Fundamentally, culture is everyone's responsibility, for people to play a part in, and whether they want to cultivate it or not. And so, whether you’re a ray of sunshine or you wish to be cynical, whatever you do can impact the culture of the organization.

[02:19] Carrying Culture with You

By taking part in a company’s culture, then you’re also part of its growth. And so, even if you’ve already left the company, it’s still something that you can always take out of your back pocket whenever you need it. You’re carrying that culture with you and it’s with you wherever you go.

So many of us have a deep desire to “fix” people. We often feel so fulfilled when we think we are helping out, thinking we are the wise ol’ owls who have the answers. However there actually is no need to fix people, because we can’t. We can’t change anyone, only ourselves. In today’s episode, we talk about how you can get over this desire to “fix” people, the power of checking in with yourself, and the beauty of allowing certain things to take their time.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Fixing people is not what causes happiness nor is it your role

• The value of checking in with yourself

• The importance of emotional bravery and taking bold steps

• On courage and patience

Episode Highlights:

[00:14] Fixing People Doesn’t Define Happiness

Fixing people doesn’t make you happy - being a passenger with them is what’s going to make you happy. Be someone that provides a safe shore or an island for them to swim to and to achieve calm, steadiness, and hopefully, good insight. And so, fixing people is not what’s really going to fill you.  

You can't fix anyone, and you can only be with them to witness what's going on. Maybe offer some advice if asked, and just be an ear for them so that whatever comes out of their mouth will help them in course-correcting. They can then rewrite the story so that they're not the victims, and that it speaks the truth, and not just from the fabrication of our negative minds.

[03:13] The Value of Checking In with Yourself

It is very important to be constantly checking in with yourself every day, throughout the day. If you've fallen 12,000 times then be sure to get up 12,001 times – and that's the key.  And so, check in with your energy all day long because you might only need to take a walk or drink water for you to feel better and somehow reset. 

[05:49] Courage and Patience

Take a bold step, be courageous, and be emotionally brave. Be around people who are on the same frequency as yours, even if you completely have different lives and challenges. Things actually take time and it's worth it.

It takes a village to run and grow a business. You have to become committed and consistent to show up in the right community and for the right community. And even when you’re struggling with imposter syndrome, you will still have to show up for you every day. 

Our imposter syndrome is a close cousin to our limiting beliefs. These are both false narratives. They're a negative talk track, which isn’t true, but we have to outsmart it. And the only way to outsmart it is to get rational.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• We’re all beginners and students of life.

• The 3-column exercise to combat imposter syndrome

Episode Highlights:

[03:27] We’re All Beginners in Life

Many of us, if not all, are still beginners in different aspects of our lives.  We're all students. And we are all Teachers. Having this kind of mindset brings us together. 

[04:09] Exercise to Combat Imposter Syndrome

Column 1: What is that negative voice telling you and what is the imposter telling you? Maybe, it's telling you that you're not good enough or you're not smart enough. However, you cannot usually find the evidence to say, “Yes, I’m an imposter. You're right.”

Column 2: This next column is about where you write down how you know it’s true.  How do you know you’re not good enough? And you look around and you say, “Actually, I don't know that because I'm just as smart as everyone else.”

Column 3: Here, you say, “Look at the body of evidence. Look at the work I've done that tells me I’m actually good, I am smart, I am average height, and I am whatever it is."

Why is it easier to be negative? Well, it's not really easy. But it's a choice people make to see the world. But what happens if you refuse to see the world as half-empty, and instead, see it as half-full? Positivity is a choice as much as happiness is a choice. Unfortunately, a lot of people tend to only focus on the negative side of things and refuse to see the other side of it. What will you choose?

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Choose to see the world half-full.

• Life is a work in progress.

• Abundance is everywhere.

Episode Highlights:

[01:02] See the World Half-Full

Negativity is such a drag on the system. Choosing to see the world with the glass empty or almost empty only defeats you. It defeats the narrative that one must tell themselves in order to stay in that place of being right. 

[01:48] Abundance is Everywhere

Life is a work in progress, yet there’s so much abundance out there. There's an abundance of happiness, joy, and possibilities. There's so much waiting for us with open arms if we just learn to take it, grab it, embody it, and share it.

Today Nov 21st, marks the 15-year anniversary of my cousin Dayn taking his life. We had adopted Dayn as our brother.  A phenomenal, gorgeous, handsome, funny, and grateful human being, Dayn was a light in this world and his light went out. In this episode, I’m sharing some things I’ve learned over the years that I would have told Dayn today – although he might be listening to me right now as well. So I’m sending all of these thoughts out into the universe today.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• On nurturing relationships
• On love, courage, patience, and belonging
• On joy, gratitude, and forgiveness
• On passion, purpose, and presence
• On acceptance and action

Episode Highlights:

[00:58] On Nurturing Relationships

- Family first, last, and always. Blood will always run thicker than water.

- There is nothing like lifelong friends. Cherish them, keep in touch, don't disappear, and don't ghost them. They will be your memory when you forget, but they will also love you always, and most often,  laugh at any of your bad jokes.

- Answer the phone when you know the person calling needs to hear your voice. We may not use the phone much anymore these days since we use a lot of text messaging and everything else. But when that phone rings, pick it up.

[01:35] On Love, Courage, Patience, and Belonging

- True love is like water. True lust is like lightning.  Learn the difference. Make your choices wisely.

- Courage – when you taste it, don’t give up. Keep moving with it and life opens up.

- It's never too late to let love in. And it's never too late to let someone love the real you. It's never ever too late in the day to tell the people you love that you love them.

- Limiting beliefs – we all have them. Once you spot them, do your best to not let them take over. When you can acknowledge them, smile and put them all in the backseat.

- Worthiness, recognition, belonging, attention, love –  these are essential to us just like oxygen.

- It's okay to be a late bloomer. Be patient, your time will come.

[02:33] On Joy, Gratitude, and Forgiveness

- Music – find what moves you and crank it up!

- Bow down to each sunset, moonrise, and dawn… Bow down, rise up and give thanks!

- Happiness is your birthright – and it is a choice.

- Forgive yourself. Shame is a real killer of the soul. If you can’t kick it yourself, find someone to work it out with. You are bigger than it is.

[03:04] On Passion, Purpose, and Presence

- Never ever let someone steal your sunshine. There will be people who feel the need to do so… detach from them and walk into the light. Find stillness somewhere.

- Pause enough to look and see the goodness in others. Do this on purpose. Take time to listen. And be curious.

- Find a career that is not a job. Find what turns you on and lights you up and makes you want to get out of bed daily!

- Keep the past in the past.

[03:42] On Acceptance and Action

- You are I and I am you. We are all the same. With that, there is no judgment.

- It’s one thing to listen, and another thing to listen and act. Take action. Without it, there is no motion and there will be no outcome. You don't get points for holding back.

Don't take yourself so seriously. We are all in this together. Finally, in the words of Dayn, dance as though no one was watching. Wishing everyone beautiful sunrises, gorgeous sunsets, and a warm holiday season!

We can really never truly feel a sense of belonging if we are constantly betraying ourselves.

You might have heard of the term self-sabotage and wondered what that even means. Well, it’s actually the same thing as betraying yourself.

And part of that self-sabotage is having that feeling that you’re not worthy of anything. You’re not worthy of being loved or worthy of loving yourself. You can mask the pain with all the substances and relationships you have, but that will never go away unless you face it head-on. Don’t come looking for the solution outside when all the answers you need are right inside of you.

You are worthy of loving yourself. You are worthy of being loved. You are enough.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Your self-awareness journey is your birthright
• Looking into the ways we’re sabotaging ourselves
• Our responsibility to take care of one another

Episode Highlights:

[02:43] How to Find a Sense of Belonging

Some people might say emotions shouldn’t be in the workplace. But then as leaders, what are we running from? Finding a self of belonging is everybody’s work. And in order to do that, you have to find ways to develop self-awareness and practice vulnerability as a leader.

If you’re sabotaging or betraying yourself, there’s that feeling that you’re not worthy of anything. And that you don’t even have the right to be vulnerable. But this is everyone’s responsibility, not just yours.

It is our responsibility to take care of one another. And the only way to truly do that authentically is to be vulnerable with ourselves. Look at the things you might be running from and ways in which you are sabotaging and betraying your own sense of belonging.

It takes time, it takes work, and it takes support. But you can definitely start this journey of silencing self-sabotage by reaching out to others who might also be silencing their own selves through their own self-sabotage.

It’s not about winging your answers to the questions thrown at you. The point is – if you’re a great leader, your leadership skills are not something you need to read about before any conversation. It’s all common sense.

And so, the next time you’re asked to be interviewed, you can tell the interviewer to save their questions. Besides, there’s nothing better than having a natural and spontaneous conversation about something that is so intuitive to you.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Staying in your strength
• Kindness and empathy are common sense if you’re a great leader
• Some traits of a leader that should be a natural part of us

Episode Highlights:

[00:58] Should You Prepare for Leadership Conversations?

If you’re a great leader, there’s no need for you to prepare or read about leadership before having any leadership conversations because everything you do is just common sense for you. You don’t need to know the questions ahead of time to talk about the things you’re passionate about because that should naturally come through.

[01:46] A Natural Part of You

Your ability to listen and your desire to better something for someone else are things that should be a natural part of you. Empathy, kindness, and vulnerability are as natural as breathing , and not something that you need to study before talking about it.

As a leader, you’re standing at the ready – with heart, intuition, and common sense. You’re ready to serve, take care of people, be with them and ride with them. You’re there to guide them. And all of that is who you are already. It’s not something you need to think about when you’re asked about these things.

In this episode, I’m switching chairs with my good friend, Andrea Wetherald, as she interviews me. We go in-depth about starting life over again at 40, leading people, and walking together on this journey.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Claude’s dream at 9yr old to be a movie director
• Finding your creative outlets
• Starting life again at 40
• Everyone’s responsibility to cultivate the culture in your workplace
• Making people seen and heard
• Dealing with burnout

Episode Highlights:

[16:32] Building a Healthy Work Culture

Develop a mindset in your workplace that gives off a vibe where everyone is just walking each other home. There are minutiae, but as humans, there's not a whole lot of difference. We all experience similar emotions. We’re all going to experience traumatic situations at some point because that's just how life is. We’re also going to go through our own healing journey. We're all going to experience loss, joy, happiness, and wonder.

As a leader, you have to be able to instill in your managers the importance of caring about people and what they’re working on outside of work. Think about how you can serve and show up because that is what you’re called to do. As a leader, you’re there to hold your people’s hearts and help them hold their own hearts.

[25:24] Getting Past Your Fear of Advocating for Yourself

When you’re in a room full of people, it’s normal to have that fear of speaking up. But you’re not going to get any points for holding back. You’ve got to learn how to advocate for yourself.

If you're invited to a meeting, you're there for a reason. Speak up. There are a lot of things that may get in the way – hierarchy, limiting beliefs, etc. – but cultivating the culture of a workplace should be everyone’s responsibility.

Look to create a space where everyone can share their ideas because no idea is wrong. It doesn’t mean every idea is going to be accepted, but at least they know there’s a safe space for them to be seen and heard.

Do you have FOMO (fear of missing out)? Or are you just a voracious reader or avid learner who wants to constantly learn new, different things? At some point, you just have to learn to pause, take the time to read your mind, and ultimately realize that you don’t need anything else – because you are enough!

In this episode, sales and business growth coach and consultant, Martin Stellar, shares his insights into the power of reading your own mind as well as how to change your perspective in dealing with problems. Martin also stresses the importance of getting over yourself so you can focus on your customers or buyers instead.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Entering the monastery
• Changing your perspective on problems
• Living in the monastery vs. the outside world
• Dealing with external vs. internal struggles
• Why you need to get over yourself
• The “good egg” problem
• Not a numbers game, but people game
• The power of reading your mind

Episode Highlights:

[05:19] A Change in Perspective on Dealing with Problems – Both Externally and Internally

There is really nothing for you to make a fuss about because if you change your perspective, the problem becomes irrelevant and completely immaterial. When you’re experiencing external struggles or worldly problems, you can always deal with them by reading about them, Googling them, or getting a mentor or a coach. You can always find the solutions.

On the other hand, when you’re fighting against your internal battles, like self-arrogance, for instance, you may try to ignore that for years. But at some point when a pivoting moment finally happens, you have no other choice but to face yourself. And you can only deal with it either by letting that go or by learning to accept yourself despite your shortcomings.

[14:26] Get Over Yourself – and Focus on the Buyer!

Stop making it all about yourself when you're running your business. It's not about you, but your customers. Focus on them, be curious, and ask questions about them. Price is irrelevant at this point and you'll get that later anyway. But first, connect with your customers, show empathy, and see where that takes you. Once people make that switch, then sales and marketing will just come naturally without having to feel that you always have to do something.

[14:59] Not a Numbers Game, But a People Game

Realize that we are all separate beings and each of us is just a drop of water in this vast ocean. Now, what if you could stop thinking about your own droplets? Look at the other drop, and ask yourself questions about that person.

Instead of pitching yourself, step in with an open mind. Find out what is going on in the other person's life. what their concerns and visions are, and how they should solve them. Once you have sought permission to join them in that conversation going on in their head then both of you can create a shared vision and move forward together because you're not trying to sell something to somebody.

[37:00] The Power of Reading Your Mind

You could be a voracious reader, but how much do you actually remember what you read? How much of the knowledge, insights, and connections do you actually deploy in what you do? Sometimes, you have to let your thoughts meander and see what connections come up and just process everything in your mind instead of constantly adding information to it. Sometimes, you don’t need anything more than what you already have because you’re already complete as you are.

“It’s impossible,” said Pride.

“It’s risky,” said Experience.

“It’s pointless,” said Reason.

“Give it a try,” whispered the Heart.

This popular quote is a perfect depiction of this new era of leadership in the future of work. Leadership used to be something that just came from the top. People were bound by the confines of an organizational hierarchy that lead with fear and at times held them back from growing and flourishing.

But we’re now ushering into this new space of leadership where more and more companies have taken the courage to add color and texture to their culture, and have become more intentional with their leadership – which is to lead with a heart.

In today’s episode, find out how you can change the kind of leadership in your business today and what your next practice should be for your company?

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• The new era of leadership
• How we can change our leadership today
• Focusing on your next practices instead of best practices

Episode Highlights:

[00:50] The New Era of Leadership

We are now headed into an era where leadership at work is now filled with heart, courage, vulnerability, grace, curiosity, resilience, generosity, humility, acceptance, and so much more. We see humanity and empathy at work that the workspace now has never felt more alive and fluid.

We’re moving into a space where it’s okay for leaders to embrace and express vulnerability – they know they don’t have to have all the answers, nor do they have all the answers. It’s not always about being right, but about being better in the world.

Author Daniel Pink says, “Companies are finally realizing that we’re full-fledged human beings, not single-minded economic robots.” And that’s the way forward – 100% human at work.

[02:20] Transforming Leadership

Leadership transformation begins with those tough conversations. Have open discussions with your people and teams about real-world events. Make sure your employees feel seen, heard, valued, and that they matter. Provide them with challenges and opportunities for growth. Now, how are you able to do that?

This is all about the next practices, not the best practices. It’s no longer about what you did in the past that contributed to your business’ success. But what are the things you can do moving forward to help you evolve, and where are you evolving to?

Coming out of this pandemic, we all find ourselves in a space of great transformation. Now, it’s up to you how that transformation is going to look like for your company.

Ultimately, it takes courage for you to set aside your pride, experience, and reason, and start listening to your heart to become the space where all the magic happens!

The word "mental" is often thrown around, and it does make sense considering how the term is often associated with academic fields like psychology and psychiatry. However, the mere use of the term somehow ignites this stigma, which has been used by society for many years to signify crazy, deranged, or out of mind.

Mental health, mental fitness, mental issues – these are words that are still creating some stigma. And so, people who are going through something feel like they don’t have a safe space to be who they are, afraid that they would be judged.

As a society, we have to be more conscious and aware of how we’re using the term “mental” to de-stigmatize what someone is going through emotionally. This then shifts how we look at things from a mental perspective into focusing more on a person’s emotional health and wellness.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Using mental illness as a label on someone or something
• Using emotional health or fitness instead

Episode Highlights:

As a society, we loosely use the term “mental” to label people, things, and even soft skills and hard skills. But someone hearing it who’s going through something may probably be feeling shame or embarrassment that they want to run away because they don’t want to be labeled as such.

Now, what if we could all be more aware and more intentional with not using the term at all and instead, use the word “emotional” when referring to health or fitness?

Not only does it take help to take the sting away, it also makes people who are going through these emotional challenges feel like they’re seen, heard, and understood. And knowing they have that safe space to be who they are is a good start.

Quote:

“When we use the term mental illness as a label… there is a person who is cringing and hiding their head in shame and embarrassment.”

“Words like mental health and mental illness ignite this stigma… why not use the word emotional health?”

One of the things I love so much about life is you can learn anything from anyone at any time. Today, I’m sharing with you this 15-minute conversation I had with a media resident out of our West Coast office. He specifically asked me about this quote that you’re a product of the five people you surround yourself with.

As humans and social beings, we want to feel we belong, not just comfortable. We want to feel safe enough to become learners, students, and teachers, and feel safe even when we get things wrong.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Creating a safe place for people to learn and grow
• The 5 people that you surround yourself with

Episode Highlights:

The 5 People You Surround Yourself With

Heard of the quote that you become one of the five people you surround yourself with?

Now, even if we surround ourselves with those people, we do some ebb and flow and morph into one another because of our energies. And for some reason, we're attracted to those people and vice versa.

Whether that’s five people in our squads, or six people or 10 people, or even just two people in our squads, our squads are everything to us because they make our tribe, our people.

Kindness should never ever be mistaken for weakness. Whether we experience kindness, we deliver acts of kindness, or we witness other people being kind – we all get the same emotional payout. It's called feeling good.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• The science behind kindness
• Why kindness shouldn’t be mistaken for weakness
• Kindness is the glue.

Episode Highlights:

The Science Behind Kindness

Known as the hugging drug or the love drug, oxytocin is a type of hormone that gives us a sense of calm, confidence, and a sense of love. It creates safety and removes fear. This happens either when we are giving kindness, watching someone else be kind, or someone is kind to us.

Kindness is Not a Weakness.

Kindness should never ever, ever be mistaken for weakness. Nor should kindness just appear as a strategy that encompasses your well-being, nor a strategy at work or a sign you often see on the wall. It should be seen through your actions.

Kindness and empathy guide us through failures and springboard us into innovation because they create a sense of true psychological safety. It gives you a sense of belonging and that someone has got your back.

Kindness is the Glue!

Every single organization benefits from fostering kindness actively and proactively. There's a domino effect that happens which is exponential. Whenever a person receives an act of kindness, they are more likely to pay back an act of kindness. And they pay it forward, whether with a stranger and whether it’s as simple as holding the door for someone else.

It leads to an expanded heart which leads to a feeling of generosity as well as a culture of generosity in the workplace. Kindness is the glue, hence, it should never be mistaken for weakness because, in truth, kindness is strength.

Today, Sope Agbelusi gets as real as real gets, helping clients shift their mindsets and become comfortable with risk and uncertainty. Born in Nigeria, Sope moved to the UK when he was a teenager and later realized that he was living a life to please other people and behaving in ways that were not aligned to his true inner self and his true inner character. From then on, he made a decision to not live for others, but to live for himself.

As an executive coach, Sope helps leaders in organizations and startups grow to develop, as well as lead themselves and their organizations really well. He helps clients understand the value of inclusion, equity, and belonging to help create a culture that embodies these values in a practical way.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• People over profit
• Sope’s struggles as an immigrant in the UK
• Asking people how you can help them grow
• The idea of belongingness as you work from home
• Disruption from the lens of authentic leadership

Episode Highlights:

The Value of People Over Profit

In business, our people are your greatest asset. But a lot of times, people haven't been focused on. You see resignation and people just leave their spaces that they are no longer willing to tolerate being treated a particular way. Because now they have more options and opportunities to go to other places and because they've been treated as commodities, rather than being valued.

Organizations need to focus more on their people and look after their mental health. They have to create spaces where people can grow, evolve, and develop so you're going to be the best that profit just naturally follows.

Building a Culture of Trust

When you ask people how you can help them grow, a lot of times, they're taken aback by it. They think you're trying to trap them because they’re not used to it. But when they start to get to know you and you start to share a bit about yourself, they will realize that you're genuinely interested in them as people.

The more you get to know them, the better you'll understand what motivates them, not just inside of work, but also outside of work. Then the more opportunities you're able to create for them. When you approach people that way, the way they're also going to say thank you is to work hard. If you look after your people, you get the profit back.

The Idea of Belongingness When You’re Working From Home

The reason why people are crying out for change is that sometimes they feel unheard and they feel powerless to do anything about it. It's so easy to slip into a space and you start to deceive yourself into thinking you belong.

When you're at home, you can be yourself. You can wear what you want to wear and eat whatever you want to eat. But when you're at work, you're spending so much of your mental energy to fit into the crowd and to get involved with conversations, or to present yourself in a very particular way. All of that drains who you are from a mental aspect, and then it flows into your physical psyche.

Disruption from the Lens of Authentic Leadership

Disruption isn't necessarily a bad thing. First, it creates some fear and some anxiety. That's why you get peer pressure or conformity. But in authentic leadership, you don't get that fear because you're leaning into curiosity. Balancing yourself and balancing others are centered around self-awareness.