Fat Men, Small Talk! A Podcast

Following the traditional format, the guys eat some delicious kitten themed German candy and delightful caramels. Gum smacking aside, Aaron tells some really bad jokes and discusses professional pillow fighting leagues, while Skinny Alex is able to back up his combat skills and prowess. Aaron makes some food with random bits found in his kitchen. Tanner educates the neighborhood kids and gets winded moving a wheeled cart before the three discuss world records. Matthias is politely asked to attend another school while being heavily dosed and gets into an Indian Jones style swap of one treasure for another. In a bonus Matthias story, the boy begins his life of crime. Aaron educates the world about oversized cowboy boots for "special" purposes. The Fat Men's Real Problems this week Skinny Alex teaches us how to NOT suck when you are performing and Tanner gets down to the issues of low gravity for the Fat Man. The Tech of the Week reminds Tanner how long it has been since he had sausage and peppers. Alex proves he can play the guitar better than Tanner even though that was not necessary in any way. In the Fat Men of the Past, Tanner honors someone who has likely never been honored before for anything. Ever. Never ever. Ever. 

Tanner and Aaron take on a variety of new topics such as: Coronavirus, trap shooting, and some jokes! After a very brief check in, Aaron and Tanner take on a crowd favorite Ice Breaker involving belly buttons, plastic slicers, wolves (more than once) and even national landmarks! Matthias is up to his usual antics but also knows how to bring out the classics. Fat Men's problems never seem to go away and this time of year, they only get worse. The guys make some money with lactating bovines before getting down to business solving problems that don't matter in the Tech of the Week. This week's Fat Man of the Past may have a checkered history but his taste in women's apparel is unmatched in this or other galaxies near or far far away.

The trio of Tanner, Alex, and Aaron are back at it with musical accompaniment! Aaron tries out some new material while Tanner actually prepared something. Aaron gets distracted by aquatic mammal baskets and signage on the walls. This week's ice breaker investigates the coolest gagets around but stop shy of talking about gadgets. The meals of the week never cease to impress except for Crack Shak which, according to Aaron, is whack. Matthias struggles to behave at his specific behavior assisted school before having words with the bus driver. Tanner repeats a beloved Fat Men's Real Problem. Tanner and Aaron discuss sleeping in the cold. The tech of the week only encourages laziness around the holidays. They guys try their hand at some slam poetry with the assistance of the venerable Alex. A Dutch Fat Man of the Past trolls the world and the guys end up apologizing to very few people.

This week the guys try something new. An actual human that has actual talent! Instantly, the production value skyrockets to heights never before seen on FMST! The guys take a second to look through each other's phones to find some less than surprising content. Tanner's wife asks a little too much of a waiter and Aaron talks about some chicken while a vegetarian sits right there enjoying some wheatgerm...whatever that is. Matthias gets artistic and Aaron suggests that, maybe, Tanner has some hair in unwanted places. They discuss the inherit dangers of small, ground based, motion sensitive seating while Aaron politely suggests that Tanner may have a hard time getting himself off the floor. In other chair news, the guys discuss the merits and oddities of chairs meant for old or physically recuperating people that can easily be repurposed by fat people! The sponsor keeps us coming back for more...and more...and more but somehow always eludes Aaron no matter how many boxes he buys. Lastly, the guys talk about a random Dick.

In this episode, they guys are back again to rule the interweb with hilarity and charm. They have the longest brief check-in imaginable before Aaron gives a perfect synopsis of the State of the Union and a spot-on impression of President Biden. Aaron provides a fantastic review of a popular steakery and Tanner eats some sancocho, but not when you would expect Aaron continues his political rant with a critic of Russia's government. Matthias materializes beverages out of thin air and tends to the sick. Tanner hates moving, both kinds, and lodges his complaints. Pet and child messes are no match for this week's tech of the week. The weekly sponsor is Snaps. Buy them. They are delicious. The guys honor a diminutive fat man for all his previous and ongoing success.

In this the first installment of the third season of the award winning podcast Fat Men, Small Talk, the guys get right into it discussing new and exciting developments in the world of cereal, varying wavelengths of thought, and the joys of almost owning a home. Aaron finally feels safe at his place of employment before they dive into their New Year's resolutions. The guys resolve to do a great many feats but not eating doesn't come up. In fact, they discuss their holiday binging at length. Matthias channels Vidal Sasoon and has some fun with his cousin when they decide to make prison Jello. Aaron and Tanner are excited about not dying and the tech of the week really blows! The sponsor desperately tries to save the guys from their own laziness and while making them look as cool as Luke in an X-wing. The Fat of the Past really knows how to bring a meal together.

This week the guys bring a great special opener with Aaron contemplating what it would be like to be the half-brother of Jesus. Aaron brings in some extra special jokes for this special and Tanner sits there an laughs specially. The boys discuss the hottest children's toys after the decision was made to make an award winning comedy based on the true story of the life and events of Jussie Smollet. Aaron fondly remembers his first time and Tanner sits there in disbelief. Tanner and Aaron talk about their favorite food but, in a strange turn of events, Aaron swears off of the substance entirely. Matthias actually does some cute stuff that isn't naughty but is kinda douchey. Tanner has his typical yule-time rant about being mistaken for THE Big Guy. The weekly sponsor is endorsed by fraternities everywhere AND, in a first, a celebrity endorsement from Sir William Cosby. Aaron muses on the importance of viral video trends and Tanner talks about Fatty for a while.

Aaron and Tanner return from their hiatus to educate the public on India. Not the noble subcontinent but the Little India. McRib's make a cameo but are ultimately dismissed for much more important things like Public Service Announcements! Matthias acts appropriately in WalMart, and Aaron tackles the rise of clothing in this week's Fat Men's Real Problems. The men praise stay at home parents and, in an uncharacteristic move, the guys discuss exercise before diving into ancient Egypt in this week's Fat Men of the Past.

Aaron kicks us off with some "jokes" and doesn't stop for a very long time. Tanner and Aaron attempt to take out some endangered birds while enjoying a new hobby. Aaron reminisces about time he played a blubberous sea mammal in a local production. Tanner admits to taking things too far with a woman of the cloth. The guys try to get some things in bulk, other than themselves. Tanner's dad does a not-so-subtle impression of Bob Ross on a local establishment sans happy little trees or employees, for that matter, while Matthias gives everyone cancer. Fat men everywhere lament hard wood and attempt to launch skinny folk into space. Deliciously cheesy blobs delight and amaze the gents despite the yummy, though unfortunately named, dipping sauce. The boys discuss the merits of slowly roasting yourself into a human soup in the Tech of the Week and big purple gum drops are highlighted in the Fat Men of the Past.

Aaron and Tanner have a brief but, somehow incredibly long checkin, before talking at length about, you guessed it, FOOD!!! Aaron talks about a new literary venture and shares it in its entirety. The guys, and their unfortunate spouses, celebrate an anniversary. In the ice breaker the pear shaped pair channels Casey Kasem while spreading the love. Tanner stuffs himself into a booth and Aaron discusses his food privilege and the lowly gruel he has been forced to consume ever since Flemming’s. Matthias ensures Aaron’s chest gets some moisture, lays some land mines (not poop related), and shaves a pear. The fat men get real while exploring the problems they encounter. The weekly sponsor is controversial for its stance on murdering innocent sea creatures but is oh so helpful when you have a slushie. Tanner tries to guess the tech of the week which ensures that the, typically noble and refined humor you have come to know and love, gets dragged through the “mud.” Finally, the fat men inaugurate an honorary member of the club for his many accolades and achievements.

After a brief hiatus, the guys are back at it again! Tanner and Aaron discuss life changing events and near life ending happenings that happened while the podcast was not…uh…happening. They then have a small argument on the order of the agenda following a rather in-depth conversation on food. In the Ice-Breaker the guys give some fantastic advice for the dating public. In this week’s Matthias in the Corner, Boo Boo makes Aaron feel a little blue. Fat Men’s real problems helps the world become just a little more woke while this week’s sponsor actually represents

Tanner and Aaron return winded but happy to the best podcast you happen to want to listen to right now…please listen right now. We really need the money! The guys start out with Aaron pitching a new tattoo parlor and Tanner shooting off his gun. The ice breaker has the potential to entertain the massive if the guys could ever get the green light. Aaron regales us with tales pricey meat while people in the world are dirty, naked, and starving, most notably, his kids. Matthias clears Bryce's good name but instantly sullies his own good name by ruining, yet another, nice Polo. He then continues on his spree of terror by coming out of the closet leaving it pieces. The sponsor this week turns everyone on but the host have limited experience. The guys remember Sir Oliver Lodge in this week's Tech of the Week and pay tribute to the wonderful and powerful and tired Fat Man of the Past, who is also still alive.

Tanner and Aaron are back at it with a brief debate about soda. Aaron Neville makes a cameo. We have our first contest winner, and just a bit over a year of waiting! The guys risk some physical activity by talking about horrible ideas for home improvements. Tanner harks back to the roots of a classic italian dish made the right way before Matthias gets up close and personal with Aaron's ear. Tanner has a problem with a little back door buddy and the weekly sponsor keeps things gassy. The tech of the week keeps the gas moving through us and greatly improves the taste of H2O. In a surprise twist the Fat Man of the Past may or may not have even been fat!

Aaron and Tanner are back checking in on a very eventful week where not much happened. The dig deep into their past and fish out memories where things may or may not have been blown up and Aaron may or may not have been partially responsible for giving someone a heart attack. Mathias tests the patience of an beautician and the limits of Aaron's insurance as well as the tensile strength of his bed. Aaron encourages everyone to shop everywhere except at a certain blue and yellow themed electronics store. Aaron lauds the best of the best of inventors who keep things nice and chill before going taking us on an educational journey into the latest cures for insomnia. The guys finish the show with the standard apologies after which more apologies are needed and a heated discussion about the show's sign off ensues.

In this episode, they guys jump in right off the bat talking about Baja Blast Zero, a delightful treat! Now at your local Taco Bell! They move on to the latest and greatest of events of the week where Aaron's neighbors get the shock of their life and Aaron postulates about teenage prophylactics. Tanner has some terrible jokes and Aaron saves the day with his dirty phrases that aren't actually dirty. Tanner opens the floor talking about a massive amount of food he consumed at a local buffet while Aaron takes Mathias out for a night on the town to get him out of his shell and talking to people. Mathias later learns the art of invention and how fun hurling water can be. Tanner gets stuck while talking about the Fat Man's Real Problems and the weekly sponsor is pleading for assistance but, this time, for a very noble cause! The tech of the week is not as old as you think it is and aims to simplify your life. The Fat Man of the past is still technically in the present but, nonetheless, delights and mystifies despite his sometimes positive comments toward Donald Trump.

This week Tanner drones on about his drone while Aaron debates a new standard of acceptable business attire. The guys laugh at people giving terrible answers despite the fact they couldn't do much better. In the meal of the week, Tanner is excited about huge breakfast food and Aaron learns to avoid a strictly high fiber diet at midnight. Matthias tries to get the doors squeaky clean and white and also tries to restock his stash of coke at risk of life and limb. Aaron takes the fight to social justice warriors before crushing his soapbox and the weekly sponsor aims to increase sexuality by decreasing visibility. Aaron masks up for the tech of week and the bulbous duo bring back a beloved and long missed societal vestige.

This week Aaron and Tanner focus on the most meaningful parts of life, ducks doing the dirty and what a vegan human might taste like. The guys delve into their memorable meals of the week all of which will make them much fatter and are in no way embraced by the vegan crowd. Gladly, they move quickly on to the ice breaker where we find that Tanner isn't great at dating and we also explore the profound questions like, what level of hotness would you need see to get more intimate with your third cousin. Also discussed, how to really treat a lady at the dump! In this week's Matthias in the Corner, the young man introduces a new skill to his repertoire, blackmail! He also keeps the classics of outright surprise and shock alive and well. Tanner gets into a little trouble with Fat Men's Real Problems and the boys get spicy with the weekly sponsor. The tech of the week makes the portly pair use their floppy noodles to ideate many more uses for a common item and the Fat Man of the Past shows us the risk of taking too long in the john.

Tanner and Aaron are back this week discussing delicious meats and vegetables provided in large quantity for their consuming pleasure. Surprisingly quickly, they get into the ice breaker where they tackle various alternative ways to celebrate throughout the year and also get their own special day! Matthias helps out by giving the dog some much needed hydration and denim gently envelops the supple buttocks of the boys before the world comes together to finally agree on something, that something being delicious meat! The less techy Tech of the Week, keeps the guys, and Deshaun Watson, well oiled and slippery while butter greases the gullet of this week's Fat Man of the Past. As always, apologies are issued before a rather awkward goodbye.

On this episode, Aaron jumps right in to some quality jokes whiles Tanner gives up Catholicism for Lent. Aaron and Tanner give their two cents on the Megan Markle, Prince Harry crap. After some brief silence they move on to memorable meals from this week, largely involving the majestic buffalo and phallic shaped vegetables…but for consuming. In the ice breaker, the boys talk about being good neighbors and, along with that, some light murder and polite Canadians, as well as new products for protecting your car's shine. Matthias decides to testify of his faith before being sent back to the corner. Public nudity and noble creatures of the sea are identified in this week's Fat Men's Real Problems. Auditory isolation tops the tech of the week and the latest in mini-disk technology is discussed much more than it should have been. In an effort to continue celebrating women, the Fat Man of the Past is, in fact, a Jewish woman….not what you think, she probably never had male genitalia.

In this week's episode Aaron conducts an expose on Tanner where they discuss Tanner's aversion to autograph requests. Meals of the week take a decidedly un-woke approach. Matthias looks stately and dignified while smuggling ancient animals. Rude scales, and not at all their weight, depress the guys. In accordance with Biblical tradition, the two gents try out clothes for the first time. Tanner finally gets talk about the horseless chariot and the Fat Man of the Past this week barely makes the weight limit to qualify but has an impressive collection of musical instruments. Tanner and Aaron make an invitation to some musicians to start covering the FMST segment songs in order to drum up some cash and then the episode kinda just ends with some random rantings.

Aaron and Tanner are at it again talking about the news of the day that everyone wants to know, namely, did Aaron shave his dog to make him more socially accepted? Aaron tries to empower women everywhere but gets rejected in his efforts. They deviate from the more racy topics to discuss their memorable meals of the week but not before they test Zendaya's neck strength. The guys talk about weird candy for a while and discuss how patriotic you can be while fast tracking your diabetes. Matthias puts on a one-man show complete with multiple acts and various characters while his dad tries not to get too close. Tanner fails at judging his own girth as he presents the Fat Men's Problem of the Week. The weekly sponsor makes the guys a bit gassy but they are happy to take it, as long as you coat it in some sort of dressing! Tanner rushes into the tech of the week and doesn't bother to look behind him. An ancient Fat Man is honored by Tanner, Aaron and his own special cult before the guys get many, many biblical facts incorrect.

Aaron and Tanner try to keep things brief this week starting off by checking in on the day's events then moving right on to the main purpose of everything, food. Aaron and Tanner make predictions about the event everyone is talking about, eating during the Super Bowl, where Tanner is expected to actually take it easy on wings and poppers but only because he will be stuffed with other things. Matthias makes a break for it with little to no plan. Tanner talks the Fat Family through the struggles of being portly and sometimes needing an anchor to rely on. The weekly sponsor gives the guys a cold shoulder as well as paints the town a pale shade of brown. Tanner looks around the room for inspiration for this week's tech highlight and another fat man is honored, if only honorably, in this week's Fat Men of the Past.

Aaron and Tanner start out strong with Tanner's complete lack of anything new and exciting. The guys bring up soup, again, and debate on the proper pronunciation of Mediterranean delicacies. Aaron presents a scene from his hit new play. Bob tries to find love pirate style, and Aaron and Tanner try to get comfortable at the mattress store. In a fantastic new ice breaker, the portly pair focus in on ground breaking items of convenience from around the world…but mostly Japan. Oddly and uncharacteristically, fruit and its delivery system is discussed at length and entirely characteristically, diarrhea presents a problem to a teen-aged Aaron. Matthias tries to get a little screen time in this week's episode and pure metal belt buckles can't hold Tanner and Aaron back…or their front. The sponsor for this week's episode makes running tolerable, if not a little messy. A new segment is introduced with an all new hit single by Fat Men, Small Talk's very own Tanner and Aaron talks about his new transport! Ultimately, they end up apologizing to entire segments of the world population.

The Chafing boys are back in town looking for some soothing calamine lotion!!! In the season opener they catch up on all the holiday news and events but most importantly the endless vats of ethnic soups that were eaten. They muse on the greatest tragedy of the past few months…the day the nog ran dry before getting down to business discussing unique ways to transport your loved ones. They contemplate the risks of trying to go vertical and pleasures of going horizontal into your food. "Busy" little Matthias makes himself all the more slippery and Tanner is concerned with a growing global trend threatening the smallest and weakest among us. In a new first, their favorite drink lets them down by simply not showing up for a well intentioned swapping of fluids. The guys discuss pulling their big butts around and a friendly Polish man offers Aaron some unsolicited observations. Finally, the pair sets some goals for upcoming year and review the successes of the past.

In this "season finale", Aaron and Tanner placate their fans by discussing what is new in their lives, don't worry, their just like normal people…but fat. Moving on they discuss making their food, because no one else can cook that much, and slurping down way too much meat. Tanner drinks egg nog live, much to the jealous anger of Aaron who is without. They banter on the subject of good schools and others igniting a vicious rivalry that neither care too much about. Matthias is back in the corner getting cleaned up with some assistance. The guys feel shamed and targeted by certain clothing stores. A new sponsor invites all to have some friggin' class and sophistication and buy their product already upon threat of shunning. The tech of the week takes a terribly boring turn as Tanner drones on about…who knows what because no one could pay attention that long. Movies make their way into the podcast again as Tanner and Aaron test their knowledge of obscure passages and Aaron apologizes to an island nation.

Aaron and Tanner discuss all the latest and greatest events of this dull week but highlight what they chose to stuff in their sweet pink cheeks. They contemplate signs of times and Matthias joins them for another episode of stark irreverence. The guys lament this festive time of year and how a fake six pack just doesn't seem to land when you are husky. The guys talk about warming their posteriors and ponder on non-sex industry wood workers. Finally, the gents attempt to keep down their latest meal.

This episode Aaron and Tanner learn that drag racing isn't as sexy as it sounds. They find out the hard truth that celebrities really aren't like normal people at all…they're dumber. A special live edition of Matthias in the Corner pisses Aaron off, as well as on. A special guest calls in to the show, but isn't really that funny. The guys find it difficult to climb the social ladder, for fear that it may not hold up. The "Hoff" has a special message for everyone out there. Tanner makes bold predictions about the future trends in technology while Aaron prophesies what will definitely be the sport of the 80's. Tanner refuses to accept any kind of personal responsibility while Aaron discusses Americans from all over the world.

This week the boys get right into it with Aaron tasting his own foot…again. Surprisingly, they discuss food at nauseum but Aaron saves it with his genius life hack to make Diet Coke more palatable. Aaron also promotes his favorite charity, giving over and over and over. They dive right in to the ice-breaker by taking on the top names in music. Matthias gets a bit busy but taps into his inner creative side. Tanner and Aaron delve into the consequences of a good night's rest, as well as, put a great amount of pressure on horizontal surfaces while also testing the tensile strength of welded metal. A refreshing word from the weekly sponsor keeps them regular. Aaron provides a lengthy, impassioned, and unsolicited review of the Playstation 5. The portly pair of perpetuates of political prowess play a positively perplexing puzzle…penguin. They finish off trying to answer the question, what is the opposite of an apology.

Aaron and Tanner are at it again talking about Tanner consigning himself to eat peasant food in the form of leftovers. They discuss the farmer's three hot daughters and tempting treats. The veritable foodies spend way too much time talking about what amounts to sandwiches. The self-proclaimed linguists judge almost everyone around them on there improper use of words, punctuation, and syntext? Aaron creates a new endurance challenged comic book character, reviews the upcoming Playstation 5 (PS5)…over and over. Matthias shows us the importance of having a plan. The portly pair lament being able to hide themselves from the world. Random tangents abound across the duration of the show and the guys apologize for not being sorry.

Tanner and Aaron are back talking about bleeding body parts and aches that never go away. They talk about a fly's wonderful journey to a new land. Aaron discusses the joys and pitfalls of a surprise BM. They review the best of foods from the entire week! The squires discuss finest band names, both real and fake and Aaron regales us all with another installment of Matthias in the Corner. The boys discuss the difficulties of finding certain body parts and introduce a new anti-communist sponsor to the program. Lazy play is covered as well as the annoyances of modern commuting. The gang finishes up with a discussion on the retail market. Another not-to-miss episode!!!

Tanner and Aaron share a roast, but not the good kind. Aaron awkwardly handles a vibrating package. Aaron talks Tex-mex-necks fusion. The guys talk about stuffing themselves into ironically tailored shirts. A special sponsor this week allows the boys to carry on with the hilarity. They talk about the fluctuating capacity of the letter Y. A featured business brings knobs and knockers and other private parts to the conversation. Finally, the two geniuses go off on a couple of random rants.

Aaron and Tanner tackle the problem of summer concentration camps no one attends. They discuss the evolution of language and muse about the correlation of burrowing reptiles and the human anatomy. They postulate on the proper storage location of bodily secretions. The guys attempt to scratch at the itches that have been bothering them and have a lively discourse on the merits and features of waste receptacles. They also talk about product inspiration.

Aaron and Tanner dive into the virtues of becoming the victim and look to expand victim-hood for people everywhere! AnalTech becomes the proud official non-sponsor of FMST. The guys finally get to an icebreaker ripped straight from headline news. Aaron's kids un-begrudgingly weigh in on his fatherhood and the guys sweat it out.

They guys go in-depth on jobs no one wants to do but need to be done, who is allowed to use racial slurs. Aaron graces us with a sweet lullaby of his least favorite things. Matthias ensures he will be the last to carry the family name. Aaron and Tanner talk about the hard hitting question on everyone's minds, Soups vs. Stews. They extol the many benefits of silicone; not just for bodily enhancements anymore! Who knew? Food is also brought up a little...ok a lot...ok almost everything was about food, or, at least, became about food.

In a surprise twist, this is probably the least offensive episode to date! Tanner and Aaron read reviews from some of the Nation's top tourist destinations. Chris drops by to spit some diamonds the guy's way...exactly two diamonds. Aaron talks about his close association with the BLM movement (Black Licorice Matters). They talk feminism and popularity. They discuss Halloween costumes and Mr. The Rock. Aaron dresses as a naughty nurse...ing home patient and Jay Z and Portia Di Rossi drop by for a chat.

Aaron and Tanner talk about intimate relationships they didn't have with Naomi Campbell and Skakira. Tanner eats a 3 day old hamburger. Aaron gets debriefed (not as hot as it sounds). They acknowledge other fat men quite aggressively. They discuss MLS restarting and how no one cared. Tanner and Joe Rogan agree to a cage match and sports. Tanner dreams of the Isles of Cheese and, of course, discuss Matthias as he gets comfortable at home. Oh yeah, food is mentioned a little too.

Mike Tyson is in no way affiliated with this show but, funny times sure are! Join us as we talk about the real things that matter like Amazon reviews and projectile bodily functions! We read our first Yelp review. As per your expectations, hilarity ensues! 

In an accidental ode to Canada, Aaron and Tanner discuss great Canadians, a song that just can't be placed, play a hilarious, if not too long, game of Would you Rather, Sloppy Joseph's, and discuss the problems with sitting.

Aaron and Tanner look into preventing World War III, talk about amazing tech, and have a riveting discussion on food. Oh, also, there was some talk about great and terrible movies.

Aaron and Tanner return to their hilarity with great discussions on the topics everyone loves to discuss such as, what is new in the news and of course the fan favorite Matthias in the Corner!

Tune in for Tech of the Week and Product of the week. We have a special caller in replacement of our fan email and Aaron and Tanner try their hand at the No Laugh Dad Joke Challenge.

Join us as we hear about Aaron's illegal  abduction, we talk about flooding bathrooms and breaking bidets and have a very serious discussion on colon health as we recommend proctological doctors.

Aaron and Tanner talk about fat men's problems, the tech of the week and read some amazing international fan mail! They also have some great discussion on what things make them laugh (besides themselves)!

We pick up where we left off talking about fruit and cover a lot of ground. From erotic swings to musical stylings of MF Doom. We also get our first LIVE caller to the show! 

Aaron and Tanner announce a big new contest, we talk music, tech of the week and a new revelation in the fruit industry! Look out for Part 2 coming soon!

These are all jokes. Please do not take anything seriously except that we are fat men and this is our normal type of small talk. 

Tanner and Aaron discuss: food, comedy, music, fine arts, family, technology, sexuality, and, most importantly, food.