Family Home Evening with Bad Mormons
By Mandi & Charlotte
Two ExMormon sisters and their siblings share cocktails and expletive filled stories of growing up in a dysfunctional Mormon family and other tales of deviance, debauchery, and overall questionable life choices that probably shouldn't be repeated in public.
Fernet, Tequila, & Tattoos
Aaaaaaaaand we're back! The Mormon church has publicly come out in support of legislation that protects same-sex marriage (WHAT?!), we mourn the death of Twitter, and we dig way back into the vault of 2 days ago for a story about how we had 17 martinis and several shots of liquor each and made some magic happen with our good friends from WA. Our day jobs are super demanding at this moment in time and after 121 episodes, we are changing up our cadence to bi-weekly episode releases and suspending our Patreon account until we can give you the quality entertainment you've come to expect from Bad Mormon Corporate headquarters. Thank you so much for your support over the years, WE LOVE YOU INTERNET (except Ted Cruz... fuck that guy).
November 28, 2022
Yeezy Come Yeezy Go
We are here to spread the gospel of our new church (House Of Blues), Mormon blessings, and share some laughs at the expense of the artist formerly known as Kanye West. DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!!! CONTENT WARNING: This week's episode contains some graphic and tasteless conversations about early-term miscarriage. If this is upsetting to you we suggest skipping this episode.
October 31, 2022
Beef Wellington To Beef Bologna
Charlotte, Cortney, and Mandi stuff ourselves in the closet of a BNB in LA with the trashiest comfort foods we can find, hit up Universal Studios Hollywood Horror Nights, and spend an evening of costumes and cocktails at The Magic Castle. We also share our fitness tips for those who want peak performance from their body's blood alcohol tolerance for the Sunday NFL Seahawks vs. Chargers game at SoFi stadium.
October 24, 2022
Mandi reviews the local playhouse production of "Little Shop Of Horrors", we get stoked for our upcoming reservation at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, we try to make sense of Republican voters, and Charlotte and Mandi get kitchen tattoos in a less-than-sanitary college house.
October 10, 2022
V. I. Peeing Ourselves
We're OBSESSED with Andor and having fun with Dragons. MTG asks for privacy so we'll give her the same respect she gave David Hogg, the teen she bullied after he survived a school shooting. Mormon Corporate Headquarters has officially sanctioned tattoos and making out, and we enjoy a Pixies concert at the House Of Blues in Anaheim, CA.
October 03, 2022
Tiffany, Charlotte, and Mandi discuss the relevance of modern medicine, we dive into our collective PTSD uncovered by the new Netflix series "Sins of our Mother" about a Mormon woman who is brainwashed into a cult and (SPOILER) a lot of people are murdered, and we make Tiff the most jealous she's ever been because we went to the Corey Feldman show without her. In Loving Memory: ❤️Johnny Rainbow and Dr. Love Wisdom🌈 FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fhebadmormons...
September 26, 2022
We survived Sin City yet again, but not without seeing Tommy Lee's balls. Omega Mart and Area 15 do not disappoint, we miss a golden opportunity for quality podcasting, and Ron DeSantis and pals LITERALLY human traffic men, women, and children across state lines to Martha's Vineyard in a political stunt to "Own The Libs". MAGA people are garbage... change our minds.
September 19, 2022
The Modern Lights
Sister Tiphphany joins us this week for a little light-hearted fun and a whole lotta rage. We have a new favorite Twitter follow, Jason Selvig, we bask in the glory of Richard Ayoade, and we finally get T-train's review of "Prey" the Predator prequel on Hulu. We also try to remember the events of that fateful night when T-stroyer survived the great puddle stomping of... some year we might as well call 1999. FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/FHEBadMormons TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fhebadmormons...
September 05, 2022
This week we take some notes from Shane Snow on how to have a productive debate, Mandi has an existential crisis, and we dip a toe into cautious optimism about the future of humanity. Did we ever tell you about that time Perry Farell played a show at Nordstrom in San Francisco?
August 29, 2022
The Luckiest Punks At Lucky 13
It's been a delightful week in politics. Rudy Giuliani is on the verge of an indictment regarding his involvement with election interference in Georgia. Donald Trump was issued a no-knock warrant and several boxes of evidence were seized (no passports as the former guy claims). There's some super shady stuff happening at corporate Mormon headquarters. Charlotte confiscates fake IDs while Mandi gets lucky in the city by the bay.
August 16, 2022
We here at the Church Of Evil celebrate death in all its forms and we are so grateful to the demonic entities making laws in the state of Indiana, USA. The magnitude of needless heartache, hardship, and agony in our future is almost unbelievable. Thanks Religion! Living hemorrhoid Alex Jones had his own ass handed to him in court, our neighbor town of San Clemente is begging for someone, ANYONE to please pay attention to them, and nothing screams BAD CHOICES like a 15-year-old getting a glove-less basement tattoo FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons
August 08, 2022
In The Beginning
Cheers to 110 episodes! Mandi gets a tattoo machine, Charlotte gets excited for our Dad to visit, and we tell a tale that starts in New Orleans at Mardi Gras, throws in an alcohol-fueled cruise ship adventure, and ends with a brand new baby podcast.
August 01, 2022
Tales From The Tiki Bar - Pt. 2
Jump on in for this parable! Our friend Michael hosts us at the Tiki Bar where we speak nothing of politics and religion, and get straight into the LSD stories!!! Your favorite!
July 25, 2022
Tales From The Tiki Bar
We recorded this episode at the hottest Tiki Bar west of the Mississippi! This was a super fun one as we play Mormon Corner catch-up with our long-time friend Michael. You are gonna want to hear about our movie recommendations, why Republicans and Democrats can both suck it, and you definitely don't want to miss this new perspective on an old favorite story. *Apologies for the audio it's a little static-y for the first 5 minutes
July 18, 2022
It's a major SUNDAY VIBE kinda show! If you enjoy mostly coherent champagne-fueled stories about Monkeypox, Mormon MomTok, romantic fantasies involving Paulie Walnuts, and the story of that time our sister sold weed to Snoop Dogg... you've found your new favorite podcast!
July 11, 2022
Holy Hell Hotel
The coolest of shit: Stranger Things, The Secret Lives Of Pets, Magical Mornings! The fucker-est of this motherfucker: The SCOTUS stripping away our rights... again and again, right before our eyes. Charlotte attends an event in Monterey, CA, and in an attempt to do good and pay it forward, is scammed by a grifter.
July 04, 2022
Life Begins At Conception...
...and ends with an AR-15. We dive into the crimes against humanity enabled by the most corrupt supreme court in America's history. We share tips and tricks on staying safe during a protest and what to do if you're arrested. With the passing of a childhood friend, we reminisce on simple happy memories and try to remember that life is too short to waste your time and energy pleading reason onto deaf ears. Do good, be kind, and stand up for those who need help. If you're considering donating money, skip the politicians and check out: https://abortionfunds.org/ https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/rightfully-ours/bans-off-our-bodies
June 27, 2022
You Can't Buy Cigarettes, The Baby Needs Diapers!
A parable: Covid has intruded on our Father's Day family reunion in the motherland. Charlotte finds sweet deals. Tiffany plays white trash for our entertainment. Mandi recalls an all-access pass to a show in Hawaii thanks to an old friend from Logan.
June 20, 2022
As the pioneers before us, we travel through Utah to the land of Zion. Unlike the pioneers, we encounter a horrifying little food stop that is not fit for human consumption. A group of racist militia is detained in the back of a Uhaul truck in Idaho on their way to a pride parade in Coeur d'Alene. Mandi teaches Charlotte about the Aryan Nations and we attend a Founders Day celebration in a tiny farm town.
June 13, 2022
Pro Life Reborn
Ex-Born Again Christian and former Pro-Life abortion clinic protester Susan joins us to share her story of growth and transformation along the journey of life... where we realize nothing is absolute and every human has more than one facet that informs their story. We also talk shit on the new 'Top Gun Maverick' movie.
June 06, 2022
Adventures On Freemont Street
This week in the darkest timeline, we learn about 'The God Makers', we are loving Under The Banner Of Heaven and Brené Brown's podcast 'Unlocking Us'. We're pretty underwhelmed by the new series of Stranger Things and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Question, why is it so easy to buy an AR-15 in America? Throwback to that time Charlotte got a sculpture of her face made on a trip to Vegas.
May 30, 2022
You've Been Hit By The Clock Bandit
Everyone can relax because The Kids In The Hall are back with a new series on Amazon Prime! Arika joins us on our 100th episode as Mandi digs up some racist old Mormon children's videos we watched in church; We spend way too much time watching the Depp v Heard trial when we should be paying attention to the Supreme Court, and we reminisce on simpler times as teens in the early 90's.
May 23, 2022
Keep Your Enemies Close; Keep HR Closer
It's been a fun week of Breakfast with the Beatles, a Mormon mansion, a Renaissance Faire, a Paul McCartney show, and Star Wars Nite at Disneyland! We are looking forward to voting against Todd Spitzer as the DA in Orange County, CA, and (while we are on the topic of excrement) giving you a review of the new emergency mini toilets we got in the mail today! Also, we figured this was a good time to tell you about the worst manager ever to hold the title.
May 16, 2022
Kickstart My Heart
Charlotte, Mandi, & Cortney record this exceptionally NSFW episode at the Disneyland Hotel as we prepare for the Star Wars nerd convention at Disneyland After Dark! Why does the family-friendly, happiest place on earth inspire us to talk in detail about the "World Famous Penis Chart" with contributions from groupies around the world? Because we are horrible people. If XXX rated isn't your jam, maybe skip this one.
May 09, 2022
Kneel Before JisLord
We had a ton of fun watching our friends make a movie, MTG causes #Satan to trend on twitter, the President lands some zingers at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, and the New York Times investigates Tucker Carlson's show finding it "the most racist show in the history of cable news'. Our friend Matt gets pranked on Craigslist and Mandi's dream crush crashes his car straight into her heart.
May 02, 2022
We ascend closer to our final form with a VIP membership to the House of Blues and The Magic Castle (and a super-exclusive secret invite to a performance at the Hollywood Bowl!). MTG apparently can't remember anything that's happened in the last 3 years, Madison Cawthorn still sucks, and Johnny Depp is being vindicated in court as the world witnesses traumatizing recordings of himself and an undiagnosed psychopath, Amber Heard. Mandi tells her favorite SF story and Charlotte is a Bellingham bartender's worst nightmare.
April 25, 2022
Sorrowful Empty Womb
Aaaaaaaaand we're back! From disposable urinals to California cops using copyrighted music to avoid accountability to the Hunky Jesus contest in Dolores Park... there's some cool shit and some bullshit in this world. We're doing our best to find balance. Grab a glass of champagne and come join us!
April 18, 2022
Our Friends James, Bree, and Az join us from down under for some laughs and a trip down memory lane! We force James onto the Mormon Trail, compare politics in our two countries, remember the good old days of trying to avoid a drunken brawl at a Sir Mix-a-Lot show and reminisce about the glory days of Satanic Panic.
April 04, 2022
The Battle Of Seattle
Toybox wine, new tattoos, and trap music for kids set the scene for this 11th-hour recording! MTG is truly terrible at every single thing she does (even bullying people), Will Smith brazenly assaults Chris Rock, on stage, in front of the whole world during the Academy Awards, and we share the latest trends and our hottest tips on what to do if you are tear-gassed by the police or pepper-sprayed by a greaser gang!
March 28, 2022
Not My Wine Hand!!!
This week we offer our condolences to Mandi's wine hand, and a parable worthy of a bird sanctuary participation trophy.
March 21, 2022
Charlotte, Mandi, and special guest Mysterious Molly get silly and attempt to entertain after a long day of drinking in the sun. We introduce Molly to the Mormon Trail, learn more about evil in human form, Madison Cawthorn, and share a few memorable trips to Baja...inspired by many shots of tequila.
March 14, 2022
The Return Of Swallows Day!
You're invited to join us as we learn about Utah's mysterious Kays Cross, get pumped for Swallow's Day, and obsess over platform shoes. Ricky Schroder is fighting for his right to prioritize his comfort over the life of anyone else, civilians in Ukraine are fighting back against Russian soldiers and Florida introduces the "Don't Say Gay" bill (probably for attention). We turn to the comedy greats for some laughs and fun memories during these frustrating and depressing times.
March 07, 2022
We're back! Just when you think it's safe to be cautiously optimistic about the re-opening of the world... innocent people in Kyiv are getting bombs dropped in their city and there's a very real threat of a nuclear attack. Russian soldiers are using Tinder to hook up with women in the country they've invaded and are getting catfished for intel. We demand an apology from George Bush for "Citizens United" and share stories of an illegal beach camping trip in Hawaii and a sea turtle rescue mission in Mexico.
February 28, 2022
Sippin' on wine, tackling our feelings for James Gunn, and wondering if avoiding prosecution for inherent racism is really behind Tesla's big move out of California... that's what we're bringing to the internet in this week's episode! Don't worry, we absolutely did some stupid shit in our youth and are drunk enough to tell you about it. Again.
February 14, 2022
It's Like Getting Bitten By A Zombie
We share a SPOILER filled review of The Book Of Boba Fett, discuss the benefits of being vaccinated in modern society, and spin yarns of puppies, rich folks, banana slugs, and our favorite adopted parents who welcomed a bunch of degenerates to share a taste of the good life in the Pacific Northwest.
February 07, 2022
Sex Crime Super Villain: Matt Gaetz
We dish the goods on our current favorite show binges, make ear love to our Patrons, and finally nail down a solid plan for our New Religion; along with developing artwork and our first commandment... thou shalt embrace concert karma. But this week's real fun lies in sharing our discovery (late, we know) of just how fundamentally vile a person Matt Gaetz actually is.
January 31, 2022
The Flavor Of Steve Bannon's As5hole
Your favorite classy lassies drink chardonnay from a bowl and captivate with classics like, "MTG Gets A New Name:" "Would You Rather: GQP Edition" and of course the inspiring title of this episode. We also tell drunk stories and embarrass ourselves repeatedly for your entertainment.
January 24, 2022
Asian "Iceman" Top Gun Dentist
Well... we caught the Omicron (luckily we are vaxxed and it's fairly mild) and 'Schitt's Creek' is on binge. Charlotte explains the rules over at the NHL. We check in on the folks investigating the attempted coup at the US capitol this time last year, we willfully mispronounce the "Koch Brothers" and their secret dark money empire, and we dig up some funnies for your listening pleasure.
January 17, 2022
Three Girls Five Buttholes
Charlotte, Mandi, and Cortney travel to AZ to cheer on the Seahawks as they take on the Cardinals in their home stadium. We learn that Satan controls the water, Ted Cruz and Tucker Carlson get in a fight on Fox Entertainment Network, Liz Cheney once again proves that Republicans can be decent human beings (while MTG repeatedly proves the opposite). We tell stories of road trips, piercings, being molested by TSA, all while the words "balls" and "buttholes" are spoken a combined total of 1,285 times. Enjoy! SEND US YOUR STORIES! FHEBadMormons@gmail.com FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook:
January 10, 2022
Backstreets Back Alright!
The LDS church owns BILLIONS in stock equity, MTG has been permanently banned from Twitter. The assistant police chief in Kent, WA has been suspended for being an outright racist. Mandi assists Tiffany in fulfilling her destiny as a key member of the Backstreet Boys ultimate superfan street team and becomes a fan herself. SEND US YOUR STORIES! FHEBadMormons@gmail.com FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons
January 03, 2022
Trump Takes The Bait
Religion continues to be super weird. In the purest form of karmic retribution, Alex Jones is in the news asking for "family privacy". Anti-vaxxer and Qanon worshipper MTG's portfolio is found to be largely funded with vaccine manufacturer stocks. Joe Biden owns Donald Trump in a genius move that further splinters his base. Llano county Texas is actually the tiny town from "Footloose". We continue our saga of adolescent tales of alcohol, vomit, and a memorable trip to the Old Country Buffet. SEND US YOUR STORIES! FHEBadMormons@gmail.com FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons
December 27, 2021
Evil Has A Face
A judge in Louisiana is fired for being the worst kind of racist, Joe Manchin screws over the middle class (from his yacht he bought with coal money), and Dominion is allowed to move forward with their defamation lawsuit against Fox "News"! Mandi recalls an encounter with the monster who would go on to commit the murder of Trisha Autry from Hyrum, UT. SEND US YOUR STORIES! FHEBadMormons@gmail.com FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons
December 20, 2021
Chutes and Blink 182
CW: Child Abuse/Sexual Assault. We share more stories of one our favorite places in Logan Canyon. Reality TV person Josh Duggar is convicted of possessing CSAM (Child Sexual Abuse Material... accept our early repentance for using the term "Child Porn" which are two words that should never belong together). Take a trip back to the 90's where we share stories of our favorite classic drinking games as well as some fun ones we made up ourselves. SEND US YOUR STORIES! FHEBadMormons@gmail.com FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons
December 13, 2021
The Foxboro Hot Tubs Live @ The Stork Club
It's been a tough week. Joel Osteen reminds us why we should be taxing churches. Lauren Boebert is more awful than we thought. Madison Cawthorn spouts backwoods old-timey revival nonsense on the house floor. MTG needs a juice box and a nap. Republicans continue to love their guns more than their kids. Mandi and Charlotte caution against the dangers of putting yourself in Satan's reach by drinking alcohol and going to shows. SEND US YOUR STORIES! FHEBadMormons@gmail.com FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons
December 06, 2021
Meet The Boeberts
Our new favorite hashtag #ETTD leads us down a satisfying path to the Cyber Ninjas. We've heard just about enough hateful shit-talk from US Representative Lauren Boebert this week to last a lifetime and it seems the rest of the country is with us. Back in Spencer ID, Mandi finally answers the question "can a train suck you under?". Young Charlotte is paid a visit from the sheriff. SEND US YOUR STORIES! FHEBadMormons@gmail.com FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons
November 29, 2021
LOOK AT MY ASS! Don't Look At My Ass
It's a beautiful Sunday in a world that is increasingly ugly. Listen in for a spoiler-free review of "Ghostbusters: Afterlife", and spend an hour with us as we deliberate how to begin the process of actual progress as a civilization, despite the fact that people will always have differing opinions. Charlotte overcomes a bully who tried to destroy her business. Mandi outwits a terrible landlord.
November 22, 2021
Justice Butt-Chugging Kavanaugh
We cozy up with comfort food from 'The Mormon Trail'... sorry 'The Major Victory For Satan Trail'. We ask for help from the internet to make violence-inciting racist Steve Bannon's Wikipedia page a little less glorified and a little more accurate. The trial for the men accused of murdering Ahmaud Arbery ON CAMERA in broad daylight is off to an unacceptable start. The trial for Kyle Rittenhouse is underway and is also incredibly infuriating and problematic. Grunge girls on LSD meet drunken country loggers during a 2am Denny's adventure. Teenage Charlotte gets her first taste of standing up to "The Man" SEND US YOUR STORIES! FHEBadMormons@gmail.com FOLLOW BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons
November 15, 2021
Mandi and Charlotte discuss the eerie similarities between the Islamic Taliban/Christian Fundamentalists and the GOP/Nazi Germany early 1900s. We celebrate a new beginning of an America that is 80% vaccinated and spending our tax dollars on water, power, internet, and roads rather than pointless border walls. We entertain with stories of putting drugs in your butt and hijacking a roller coaster! And never forget... in a world filled with Aaron Rodgers'... be a Colin Kaepernick.
November 08, 2021
Death By Video Game
We share some hot tips on our new favorite podcast, a smoother re-entry to Disneyland, and what it's supposed to be like at a Mormon dance. David Trent, one of the super-spreaders of Qanon conspiracy theories like Frazzledrip and Pizzagate turns out to be (SURPRISE) a convicted child molester. Don Trump Jr. somehow manages to reach a new low. The Kyle Rittenhouse trial is off to a bad start. Fox News streaming service is airing ACTUAL NAZI WHITE SUPREMACY PROPAGANDA (billed as a documentary) with Tucker Carlson. Shout out to the Hawaii ENLIGHTENED Ingress team... and the game that inspired some very bad decisions.
November 01, 2021
Little Cesar's Hot Car Lot
In yet another example of conservatives only caring about people before they become people... A woman in Oklahoma is sentenced by a jury to four years in prison for having a miscarriage. Matt Gaetz is in big trouble. Charlotte ditches Wall Street for Bitcoin, Mandi ditches her paycheck for a bet on a football game. We give you the deets on Omega Mart Las Vegas (no spoilers) and our Executive Genius Creative Director reminds us of that time that Mandi made a REALLY BAD DECISION involving a couple of super-shady mechanics/pizza dudes.
October 25, 2021
AT&T Is Cancelled
It's an epic ExMo mail day! We dish the realness during an unboxing of hilarious and delicious-smelling candles from our friends at The ExMo Candle Co. Former FBI deputy director Andrew McCabe (fired by Trump hours before his retirement) wins his pension back. AT&T is hemorrhaging customers as the world learns about One America News (OAN). Marjorie Taylor Greene continues to steal the souls of babies. We share a funny listener story, and Mandi & Yvette have a wild night in Vegas and learn the value of a cabana in the cold desert winter. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT to our brother Casey, who will always be cooler than we are.
October 18, 2021
Castrate The Racists
We discover ProPublica which leads us down a dark and twisted path... juvenile court judge Donna Scott Davenport in Rutherford County, TN, has a history of jailing children for profit (seriously). In California this week, a ninja attacks a group of military soldiers with a katana, and "Stealthing" is now a crime. We tell you what's cool on Netflix and take a childhood trip down memory lane; Utah, USA where we got our start at making poor life choices like drinking ditch water, eating icicles, handling feral cats, cow poop contamination and so much more!
October 11, 2021
Disobedience To Husbands
We revel in the absolute deliciousness of the judgments against Alex Jones for being a pile of human garbage, Marjorie Taylor Greene acts like a rabid sociopath, and a racist 'Proud Boy' is convicted of shooting up a police station posing as a BLM protestor. The righteous Mormon publication 'The Miracle Of Forgiveness" gets Amazon reviews, Mariah Carey buys produce, and Mandi & Charlotte experience live music for the first time since the pandemic. Our new sponsor, "Sacred Uterus Of Holy Texas" makes its debut.
October 04, 2021
Cheers To Rock N Roll - A Parable
FHE with Bad Mormons parables are a perfect on-the-go substitution for our regular episodes! All the fun stories, with none of the politics or current events to weigh you down, conveniently packaged in a bite-sized episode! Step into a blast from the past with Charlotte, Mandi, Ozzy, Slaughter, Randy Rhodes, Tom Petty., & Ugly Kid Joe. AND for the first time on the internet... introducing our patent-pending "Kid Rock Lameness Scale"!
September 27, 2021
Exquisite Punishment Is Imminent
We learn that "White Mormon Jesus" has some serious kinks about sinners. We are introduced to the concept of "Q Tips" (hint... it's not for wiping away errant eyeliner strokes), review the tRump 9/11 boxing extravaganza (Very bad... really poor numbers. Terrible ratings), and we discover how the far-right conspiracy theorist "Justice for J6" rally is crumbling under the pressure of right-wing conspiracy theories. We also relive teenage antics, learn about false memories and share some of our favorite budget-friendly tips and tricks!
September 19, 2021
Have you ever wondered the significance of that dream where you're shopping for a new house to rent, but all the houses are floating on giant styrofoam bricks and it is imperative that you get one with the perfect closet sliding door? This and other very important dream interpretations are yours this week for the low low price of FREE. Also, our friend Joey has a solution to the current hotbed of national debate... Abortion.
September 13, 2021
Under His Eye
We take a look at the "Fetal Heartbeat" abortion law that the state of Texas has just imposed upon its citizens and review the years-long groundwork that's been laid by the conservative Republican's to ensure its approval (And according to some theorists... the beginning of the end of the GOP as we know it). Charlotte is forced into manual labor while on vacation. Mandi avoids prison in Panama.
September 06, 2021
An Evening With Metallica
...(and other bands your Dad likes). Mandi and Charlotte discover the luxury of linen sheets as well as a truly horrifying Mormon publication called "The Miracle Of Forgiveness". Dave Grohl continues to amaze and inspire. Charlotte wreaks havoc at a .38 Special/REO Speedwagon/Styx concert. Mandi relives her first concert experience camping out for tickets at Smith's and spending... An Evening With Metallica.
August 30, 2021
Eat The Rich
Three daughters of a conspiracy theorist have an unscripted conversation fueled by whiskey, affogatos and wine. Have the uber-rich successfully created a society designed to oppress, divide and keep us in a life of servitude? Or maybe it's just nature taking its course in an attempt to bring order back to the chaos we create when one species becomes overpopulated. We also rate celebrity plastic surgery.
August 23, 2021
Charlotte and Mandi rate and review wine from Trader Joe's, The Magic Castle, Disneyland, The D.I. and Somebody's Attic as they exist in the Covid Delta Variant timeline. Mandi accidentally makes racist Christmas ornaments. Charlotte accidentally discovers (with the help of quantum physics and string theory) that we are most definitely already dead... multiple times over.
August 16, 2021
Trump Worshipers, Ted Cruz & The KKK
This week's episode was dusted off from the audio vault... We recorded this at 2am after a night out in the City of Sin. Enjoy! Charlotte, Mandi, and Andrea have a lot to say about the state of our country, recorded shortly after the insurrection and attempted coup at the hands of the former president and his followers. We share our small-town white girl perspective on the problematic public education system, racism in America, and corruption in politics. We learn that Vice media was co-founded by Gavin McInnes, who went on to start the racist, misogynistic, Islamophobic, transphobic, and anti-immigration hate group known as the Proud Boys.
August 09, 2021
The Legend Of The 419
Charlotte, Mandi, and special guests have some fun at Josh Hawley's expense, we add another "R" to our favorite things to poke fun at. Charlotte gets a lesson on the freshness and quality of the "Taco Time" restaurant chain. We share with you some of the ridiculous adventure stories from the infamous 419 in Bellingham, WA.
August 02, 2021
A Very Wholesome Podcast
Charlotte and Mandi discuss the latest fuckery in the infamous "West Memphis Three" case. Mandi goes to church camp. The girls go fishing with Dad and all the siblings work tirelessly to uncover the truth about whether or not our father has ever tasted beer. Trigger warning: Fish were murdered.
July 26, 2021
Charlotte's Thai Vacation - Directed By Eli Roth
Mandi and Charlotte drink and talk about wine while we share with the world excerpts from a horrifying LDS book called "Woman" sent to us by one of our favorite listeners. Charlotte goes to Thailand to see a Ping Pong Show and narrowly escapes execution; "Hostel" style. In a blatant act of shameless self-promotion, we plug our new FHE Bad Mormons MERCH STORE launching on Thursday, July 22nd (Currently available exclusively to the Patreon club with VIP variant options!)
July 19, 2021
I Was Dead Sober! ...Other Than The Acid
Former US national security advisor Michael Flynn confirms his family's weird Q Anon oath/chant is actually a "Simple Family Statement". Charlotte shares the uncomfortable story of her very first time taking LSD. Mandi shares her story of the 700th time she took acid, became clinically insane, and listened to Tool: Undertow (Track 69) on repeat for an entire winter in a basement in Hyrum, UT.
July 12, 2021
Star Spangled Tiddies
Cthulu is trending on Twitter this week. Arika delights us with tales of campsite intruders, exploding cheeze whiz and revenge. Charlotte learns the value of functioning ankles. We taste test a variety of rare and delicious whiskey. Video (and tiddy's) available exclusively for Patrons!
July 05, 2021
Hawaiian Throat Punch
As the saga of "The Corrupt Leading The Blind" continues to unfold in the US, Rudy Giuliani excels at being a pile of human garbage. Britney Spears pleads with a judge to allow her to remove an IUD and free her from other acts of subjugation at the hands of her father. Charlotte is secretly a motherfucking ninja (WOAH INDESTRUCTIBLE!) Mandi continues to get punched in the face for a paycheck.
June 28, 2021
High Powered Executives, Rolexes & A Private Jet
Charlotte is showered with lavish gifts from a High Powered Casino Executive. Mandi puts on the pressure after an invite to a Hollywood party via private jet from Honolulu. It's a pretty awesome episode.
June 21, 2021
It's time to repent for all the plastic we've been allowing to form the GPGP in the middle of the ocean. Mandi creates a hellish auditory landscape where you are forced to imagine life on the Mormon Trail led by Brigham Young. All the siblings take part in sabotaging our mother's attempts to persuade Californians to vote for Prop 8 in 2008. Alkaline Trio, Rise Against, Thrice & Gaslight Anthem make for a Halloween to remember.
June 14, 2021
How To Not Get Cut In Half During An Elevator Rescue
Cheers to 52 episodes... one full year of drinking and podcasting! Charlotte and Mandi (mostly) remember some excellent fun in San Francisco. Charlotte defies the laws of normal bodily functions. Mandi gets rescued from an ancient elevator by SFFD's finest (literally). Bay to Breakers makes a cameo.
June 07, 2021
400 N. 100 E. Bikini Car Wash
Texas attempts to pass a terrifying conservative abortion law (Handmaid's tale anyone?), Teenage Mandi and Arika devise new and exciting ways to make money. Charlotte drinks champagne.
May 31, 2021
Car Trouble, Girls?
Charlotte finally answers the age-old question... "What exactly is Spotted Dick?" Mandi and Tammy have an unwanted adventure on the Greyhound bus. Charlotte almost flips her brand new car on the freeway (and again in the snow). Fire makes a cameo.
May 24, 2021
Get In My Vagina Sam Rockwell!
Mandi and Cyrus get married and throw a fabulous party in Las Vegas. Charlotte gets high and motorboats Mandi's boss. Penthouses get thrashed. Fun is had by all.
May 17, 2021
You Got Iced!
Charlotte drinks beer, Mike's Hard Lemonade, sake AND wine, and then records her beautiful voice for your enjoyment. Charlotte, Mandi, and Cortney recall our fondness for Zima, Boones Farm, and simpler times. Smirnoff Ice creates an untameable monster. Cortney befriends an innocent man incarcerated in Nevada named Jerry White.
May 10, 2021
Can I buy you a drink?
Listen in as we delight you with stories of alcohol-saturated bad choices and a rare smart choice that could have easily ended badly. Pants down in front of the Hemlock in SF? Check. Invited onto a yacht in Florida? Check. Spoiler alert... we're still alive! Plus a bonus message from a special Patron. Fun for probably none of your family!
May 03, 2021
Once You Go Black...
We swim down the deep dark internet sinkhole that is Corey Feldman's current form, as well as embarrass ourselves in new and exciting ways for your entertainment. Bright light city gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire... VIVA LAS VEGAS!
April 26, 2021
The Coreys, The Episode
This episode has it all! We managed to talk about Racist America, The World Series of baseball, riots, drunken tattoos, girls in lingerie performing sub-par musical numbers, AND THE COREYS all into one show-stopping episode!
April 19, 2021
Charloquin Novels... The writers room
Charlotte, Mandi and Cortney begin the process of writing our very first romance novel.
April 12, 2021
This Podcast Doesn't Even Exist
As it turns out we are probably already dead and this podcast is a weird manifestation of purgatory. Enjoy!
April 05, 2021
I thought I found "The One”...but she was too DRUNK :(
Take an audio glimpse into Mandi's bedroom and listen in on Charlottes brief love affair with MC Chris, what we imagine pioneer women would do with a food synthesizer from the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) and Tiffany's review of her neighbor Ron. We put the FUN in dysfunctional!
March 29, 2021
Sloppy Chachi For Mayor
Mandi, Charlotte, Tiphphany and Cortney share stories of our time on Verona Street! Listen to delightful stories like, "The Silent Intruder", "Wheelchair Olympics" and of course, "Sloppy Chachi for Mayor". Hang onto your panties because this week we're introducing Tiphphany's new segment titled "One & 1/2 Stars"!
March 22, 2021
All Aboard The Drunk Delinquent!
So making bad choices whilst intoxicated is kiiiind of our thing... but this one was REALLY STUPID (even by our incredibly low standards). Enjoy the nefarious tale of a family of seafaring drunkards pretending to be watermen. Oh and if you ever find yourself in need of an expert on maritime law... probably don't call Charlotte.
March 15, 2021
Frankenstein Sex Slave
Sister Tiphphany makes a rare appearance and delights us with toilet stories yet again. Listen in while a trio of sisters chat, laugh and remember the time Tiphphany faked an orgasm on a stage in front of a packed house. It was very dramatic and inspiring.
March 08, 2021
Rush Limbaugh's Greatest Hates
No matter where on the political spectrum you land, we think it's safe to say that we can all raise a glass to Rush Limbaugh... (Just to be clear Mandi and Charlotte are toasting the fact that a horrible garbage human; who has created so much hate, racism, discord and divide for the sole purpose to creating financial wealth and personal gain is gone from our planet forever). CHEERS! P.S. If you haven't seen the 1995 cinematic masterpiece "The Last Supper" starring Bill Paxton, Annabeth Gish, and Cameron Diaz... do yourself a favor and check it out 😉
March 01, 2021
Nuts to Butts
Mandi, Charlotte, Mandy & Jesse, Tony, and Craig take the podcast to Mandy & Jesse's backyard to have a few drinks to share jokes and memories about our friend Dave who tragically passed away unexpectedly in the night. He was a great friend and father and we will miss him very much. Hold your people close, tell them you love them, and remember tomorrow is never guaranteed. Fly high, Dave... you will live forever in the hearts of the people who love you.
February 22, 2021
Isn't it weird how many murderers find themselves in Bellingham, WA? Aside from the famous murderers who've imbibed at the infamous Waterfront Tavern...we've got a few murder-y stories for you this week. We cross paths with the D.C. snipers, remember a murderous co-worker, and touch on the conspiracy theories of the smiley face killer. Oh and you don't wanna miss one of Mandi's most embarrassing drunken fails.
February 15, 2021
We embrace our new spirit animal, the majestic shark, while drinking cocktails that DO NOT contain carrot juice. Listen to a funny shark story, but this episode is a short one. It's been a rough week after the needless accidental death of a dear family friend and all-around sweet, smart and wonderful human being. Take care of each other and don't take your life for granted. It could be over at any moment.
February 08, 2021
Fifty Shades Of Gross
Sit back, relax and enjoy our abridged (and illustrated!) rendition of the classic fan fiction novel, Fifty Shades Of Grey. It's way more entertaining than the original, unless you're some sort of sick weirdo. Trust us, we're the good ones.
February 01, 2021
Iggy Pop & Dallas Xquisite Have A Baby
We are drinking champagne 🍾🥂on the last night of Horrible Orange's last day in power! What better time could there possibly be to record a podcast?! Do you remember your first trip to the strip club? We do! Well...mostly. We probably reveal a few too many family secrets in this one... but that's why you love us. XOXO 💋💋💋
January 25, 2021
Welcome to the Jungle Baby!
We can't stop talking about the Trump worshippers rioting at our nations capitol. Also, Mandi and Charlotte remember the first time we met, some funny church memories and the summer of '86 when Mandi was kidnapped/ran away to Las Vegas and used her intuition and sense of self-preservation to thwart a kidnapping ring. Technically that's what happened. FOLLOW FHE BAD MORMONS ON SOCIAL #BadMormons #Religionisbullshit Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FHEBadMormons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FHEBadMormons Twitter: https://twitter.com/FHEBadMormons YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCszgZ1LeYakFUckKKZqFEig
January 18, 2021
Wait, I brought the mushrooms?
Remember when we could have parties, gather in groups to socialize and hug our friends? We remember some of the more epic parties we've attended and, as usual, go off on a long rant about the Trump worshippers.
January 11, 2021
Pee In Her Butt!!!
When we woke up this morning... "Peeing In Her Butt" wasn't even a glimmer in our Covid-fogged brains. Yet here we are. Please enjoy yet another unsolicited rant on our political, religious and overall world views lumped in with a story about kegs of microbrew, 2 old ladies recklessly endangering lives in an RV, and high caliber musicians being forced to cater to our drunken whims. We'd like to take this moment to formally apologize to John Linnell of They Might Be Giants.
January 04, 2021
The Coronavirus Christmas Special!
Charlotte and Mandi got a very special Christmas gift this year...CORONAVIRUS! We put together a tiny mini-episode in case anyone is curious about our symptoms and experience so far. We promise we'll be back with a proper episode next week! And in the meantime just remember... if our little sister can labor and deliver a baby while wearing a mask, I bet ***YOU*** can wear one at the grocery store for 5 minutes if you try real hard!!! ***The wealthy, entitled, conspiracy-theorist, Trump-Loving and usually-but-not-always White People of Orange County, California... and our Mother***
December 28, 2020
It's Jim's Dad!
Mandi and Charlotte welcome our friend and resident fun time 'Party Girl' Andrea to the show where we scratch the surface of some of our crazy San Francisco years... this one involves about 150 Burners rolling at a private beach house in Pacifica. It got real weird.
December 21, 2020
Charlotte's Bush Story
You can' t choose your family... but you can choose how much alcohol to consume in a single day! You might be asking "how could alcohol possibly lead to a story about a bush"? Listen, if Moses can have a bush story, so can we. Saddle up and settle in for another embarrassing true story in the sordid lives of Bad Mormons.
December 14, 2020
Blackout 182 THE REDEMPTION
Mandi and Charlotte tell tales of an epic concert that was nearly ruined with too much alcohol... much like the first iteration of this very episode. Cheers!
December 07, 2020
Point Break LIVE!
Are we gonna jump or jerk off? Mandi and Charlotte reminisce about some of the times we were fortunate enough to experience the insanely clever, wildly entertaining and pure comedic gold that is Point Break LIVE. Let's get radical!
November 30, 2020
Maybe we shouldn't tell this one? (pt. 2)
Part 2 of a recording we did with our Executive Genius Creative Director, Cortney. We promise you'll have more fun than taking shots of Fireball and getting on a roller coaster, or your money back!!!!
November 23, 2020
Maybe we shouldn't tell this one?
Charlotte, Mandi and Cortney meet up in Palm Springs to record a story for you and drink ALL THE WINE. Cheers!!! (And stay off the phone when you've been drinking... trust us on this).
November 16, 2020
Tammy's Mom (has got it goin' on)
We all have "Crazy Mom" stories, but trust us when we tell you that Tammy's mom is the Supreme Queen Lunatic of Unstable Kingdom. Enjoy this parable, brought to you by Mandi, Charlotte, Arika & SATAN! (P.S. We forgot to thank the Navajo Nation for pounding votes and turning Arizona BLUE)
November 09, 2020
Charlotte, Mandi and Cortney recall our love for Matthew McConaughey, a very memorable camping trip and the story that started the beginning of a lifelong friendship. We also need you to Google "Duck Penis" and "Geoduck". Sorry in advance.
November 02, 2020
Spooky Tales in Nightmare America
Charlotte, Mandi and Arika get in the Halloween spirit with stories of the unexplained, weird and freaky. The US presidential election is looming and there's a huge amount of tension in the air... have a drink with us and take the edge off!!! Did you vote yet?
October 26, 2020
Mistakes were made.
Mandi and Charlotte discuss repressed memories, Mark Hoffman (master forger, murderer and our Dad's Home Teaching partner), the dangers of electricity and Charlotte's irrational hatred for the time-honored pastime we know as the sport of golf.
October 19, 2020
Class of 93! Let's take LSD!!!
Charlotte, Mandi and her childhood friend Arika tell stories of some memorable acid trips involving Logan Zoo, Arika's garage and that time when aliens or magic saved our asses when some stupid kids very nearly burnt Logan Canyon to the ground.
October 12, 2020
Lauri's Dirty 30 feat. Alkaline Trio
The whole gang reunites in Bellingham to throw an Alkaline Trio themed surprise birthday party for Lauri. The party was epic and the day after was shitty... just as you've come to expect from Bad Mormons.
October 05, 2020
Tropical Cocktail Tales
Lauri, Charlotte, Cortney and Mandi spill the embarrassing details of a boozy trip to Key West for Charlotte's 21st birthday. Also, how drunk should you be in a hurricane?
September 28, 2020
BONUS EPISODE! A Parable - Brought to you by Meat Tent!
Cortney and Tiffany finally admit to the attempted murder of their friend and sister. (Mandi was not harmed in the making of this mini-sode)
September 24, 2020
Trashy Daytime TV Stars
Lauri and Cortney fly to the big city to be on a nationally syndicated daytime talk show. We thought all the people who went on those shows were telling made up stories for entertainment... as it turns out, the world can be a fucked up place sometimes.
September 21, 2020
Tiffany On Ice!
Tiffany, Charlotte and Mandi recall LSD trips, Logan High School shenanigans, and exciting adventures in Tiffany's bodily functions. You really don't want to listen to this one. It's shit.
September 14, 2020
Cobra Kai FUCK YEAH!
Holy Jesus if you've made it this far with us... you know we should be dead by now. Logan canyon/cabin stories and Medieval times!!! All the booze and LSD did not help, but somehow we're still here with you, recording our most asinine decisions eternally and for all time on the internet. Cheers!
September 07, 2020
The Roommate From Hell - Amanda Exotic
Mandi, Charlotte, Tiffany and Cortney reminisce about the "Historical House on Utter Street" where we slowly but surely debunked the theory that ghosts might be stealing everything we owned. Amanda and Tigers and Bears, Oh My! Bonus vocal montage of some of the many times we've been very, very drunk and probably on mushrooms. SPOILER ALERT!!!
August 31, 2020
Teenager Hump Juice
Charlotte, Mandi and Robert Downey Jr. hang out at Magic Mountain with the family and Cortney. Mandi lights herself on fire drunkenly trying to prepare a Thanksgiving feast. Enjoy the embarrassment! ***FULL DISCLOSURE - RDJ does not actually appear in this episode, even though we're pretty sure he'd be into it***
August 24, 2020
BONUS EPISODE!!! Fundamental Mormonism: A beginners guide to starting you own cult!
CW: Child Abuse/Rape - Charlotte, Mandi and Casey talk the convenience of religious revelations, the many claimants of the coveted title of "The One Mighty And Strong", and our direct relation to the aforementioned. ******Recorded several weeks ago; apologies for the audio quality ******* 🤟🏻🤟🏼🤟🏽🤟🏾🤟🏿
August 20, 2020
You girls are WILD! Like the Spice Girls!
Sister Tiphphany joins us for psychedelic tales from the Tonasket Barter Faire, VW engine failure on the edge of the Sawtooth wilderness, and more than one story involving (our alternate episode title) "Some Sort Of Feces".
August 17, 2020
GHOST STORY!!! (Plus light-hearted vandalism, fraud and B&E)
Mandi and Charlotte get a major audio upgrade and ditch the whole boring podcast thing for the super cool 90's pirate radio thing. Talk Hard.
August 10, 2020
LSD Adventure... can we turn on the sirens?!?!
Special guest and former hetero-life partner Cortney joins us for a trip down memory lane including our weekly Monday "Adult Movie" night and that time Cortney and Mandi willingly got into the back of a cop car while high on LSD.
August 03, 2020
Oh what, you’ve never set anyone on fire?
Mandi gets fired from the movie theater for lighting her co-worker on fire, Charlotte lights paper, nature, plastic, her sister and herself on fire.
July 27, 2020
The Goth Squad... Home Depot’s worst nightmare
Mandi recalls the day Charlotte was born... Charlotte meets strangers on the early internet and fulfills her destiny as a member of The Goth Squad
July 20, 2020
Ricardo Montalban's Fabulous Chest
Mandi and Charlotte tell stories about the time our Mom kidnapped us and hid out with the polygamists of Southern Utah.
July 17, 2020
Aaaass Youuuuu Wiiiiish!!!! A Kickball Story
Mandi and Charlotte discuss the pros and cons of doing copious amounts of drugs in the Mendocino Woodlands.
July 17, 2020
Symbols of Satan - Baptisms for the Dead
Mandi and Charlotte talk about baptisms for the dead, death, dying and DMT
July 17, 2020
Thanks For Not Disowning Me, Dad!
Teenage Charlotte drops acid, Teenage Mandi gets a tattoo.
July 14, 2020