Fresh Start Podcast Series

Liz Becker is the Co-founder of the National Association of Divorce Professionals and Creator/Senior Trainer of the Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS™) Program. Liz is also a Licensed NLP Master Practitioner, Communications Skills Coach & Trainer, and has more than a decade of experience in working with both divorcing clients and the professionals who serve them. 

Having worked in the divorce industry for many years, she has a keen sense of detecting specific issues that create obstacles for all parties involved in the process. Whether she was conducting NLP Certification Trainings, co-parenting workshops, or speaking at conferences, Liz has always found great reward in educating people on how to communicate more effectively and achieve positive change both personally and professionally.

Taking responsibility is perhaps the hardest thing to do. That is because it requires you to empathize with the other person. Acknowledging that you may have done something that impacted somebody else in a negative way implies a negative intent and challenges our sense that we are well-meaning rational beings. 

Describing how the act affected the other person negatively generates trust and credibility. It makes it clear that you are looking at the situation from the perspective of the other person. Offering restitution indicates your willingness to repair the relationship.

To download your PDF of the Fresh Start Healthy Relationships Workshop: Conflict Resolution Techniques for Partnerships - Managing Emotions, please click on this link https://www.freshstartmediation.ca/resources or email don@freshstartmediation.ca

During an argument we want our partner to listen to us, whereas closeness with our partner is greatest when we listen to them.

By simply being inquisitive about our partner, we create a deeper, more meaningful conversation. In a disagreement, we need a better understanding of what motivates our partner to believe that their solution resolution to a problem is better than ours. By doing so, we can be more creative in how we meet our needs and the needs of our partner.

To download your PDF of the Fresh Start Healthy Relationships Workshop: Conflict Resolution Techniques for Partnerships - Managing Emotions, please click on this link https://www.freshstartmediation.ca/resources or email don@freshstartmediation.ca

When reflecting on a previous argument, did you feel the urge to accuse your partner of doing something wrong, or did you have the desire to make your partner feel as bad as you did?

These are entirely normal reactions. After all, no reasonable person would act the way your partner did in this situation. At the same time, these approaches are not so useful when you need to resolve a conflict. We all have a certain self-image that includes a perception of being a reasonable, well-meaning person. Violent language is threatening because it attacks that image. In contrast, non-violent language calls on our willingness to improve and be a better person.

To download your PDF of the Fresh Start Healthy Relationships Workshop: Conflict Resolution Techniques for Partnerships - Managing Emotions, please click on this link https://www.freshstartmediation.ca/resources or email don@freshstartmediation.ca

You will see the word “needs” mentioned a few times throughout this podcast. Now may be a good opportunity to explain what they are. 

When you think about your disagreement and eliminate the judgments about your partner and yourself, what was it about and why was it so important?

The answers to these questions tell you about your needs.

To download your PDF of the Fresh Start Healthy Relationships Workshop: Conflict Resolution Techniques for Partnerships - Managing Emotions, please click on this link https://www.freshstartmediation.ca/resources or email don@freshstartmediation.ca

The relationship between emotions and a destructive argument is like fuel and fire. Without negative emotions, you would not be able to maintain a destructive argument. The reason that emotions so powerfully drive us to disagree has to do with our sense of who we are. Invariably, if challenged by behavior we perceive as a threat to our sense of self we feel the need to respond either by withdrawing if it is unsafe to disagree or by preparing to engage in an argument.

To download your PDF of the Fresh Start Healthy Relationships Workshop: Conflict Resolution Techniques for Partnerships - Managing Emotions, please click on this link https://www.freshstartmediation.ca/resources or email don@freshstartmediation.ca 

Arguments can become destructive when they don’t lead anywhere; when your partner doesn’t understand how to help you meet your needs. As a result, arguments become repetitive, grinding away at the appreciation and respect you have for each other. Invariably this happens when the argument shifts from a conversation about the issue to one that includes judgments of the other person.

Listen in as Andrea Richards, Mediator, provides you the reflection, insight and practical steps to avoid destructive arguments with your partner.  

To download your PDF of the Fresh Start Healthy Relationships Workshop: Conflict Resolution Techniques for Partnerships - Avoid Destructive Arguments please click on this link https://www.freshstartmediation.ca/resources or email don@freshstartmediation.ca  

The Fresh Start podcast series is designed to help you understand where conflict comes from, and to build the toolkit to ensure the healthiest ways to deal with it.

Each week, we will be talking with a leader in their field, that understands the nature of conflict, and why we can sometimes fall into the traps that escalate them.

Whether at home, work or social situations, conflict can be all around us. We look forward to providing you the information you need to build resiliency, communication skills and healthier relationships

After all, as Max Lucado once said: 'Conflict may be inevitable, but combat is optional'.

Tune in each week and start creating your very own Fresh Start.