God's Not Watching

It's a Christian football movie. What's not to love?

As in, apart from bad acting, empty characters and uninspiring football scenes, name us one thing to not love about this movie.

We don't know about any other Christian football movies, so that makes us about 40% sure this is the best one.

Because, for all it lacks in believable characterisation and depth of story, it doesn't make up for in football.

It's not a good movie but it's not that bad. Like at least it has football. Kind of. In a way.

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The year is 2015, and evangelical film production company Pureflix is still riding the wave of the massive success of their 2014 phenomenon, God's Not Dead. So they decide to hire the same two writers to write basically the same movie, again, except this time with even more characters, covering even more themes at even less depth, and all with that tried and trusted persecution complex we've all come to know and love. The movie is called Do You Believe, and let me tell you – we don't.

Join us for the second instalment of our excruciating journey through the post-God's-Not-Dead Pureflix Cinematic Universe.

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The most consistent feedback we've received from our fans has been, "Make your podcast longer! Bigger, wider, and longer, I say. Looooonger!" So we knew that in order to make our loooongest episode yet, we needed to find a movie of epic proportions, perhaps a movie that's "bigger than Ben-Hur".

Unfortunately all we could find was Ben-Hur, the 2016 remake of Ben-Hur, the 1959 remake of Ben-Hur, the 1925 adaptation of Ben-Hur, the 1880 novel. But THIS version of Ben-Hur features budget Jason Momoa, as well as at least two Game of Thrones actors in minor roles, which is what Christians want, just like they want 15% more podcast.

Would God watch this film? Join us to find out...

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Ja Rule. He stars in this Christian movie. What else do you need to know?

Also, he plays a Latino guy.

Welcome to the next instalment of the Flirt To Convert Cinematic Universe. This time, a movie based on a true story of a guy who, the film points out, is very intelligent, handsome, and incredibly rich. And considering he’s the very guy who wrote the screenplay, we think that’s pretty reliable information!

Listen to us all hang on to our sanity by a single thread as we discuss this ridiculous movie about an ex drug dealer who finds Jesus through dating a very romantically irresponsible, concerningly materialistic church girl.

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After four episodes of thoroughly lambasting and roasting every Christian movie that comes our way, our audience could be forgiven for wondering whether it's even possible for us to be pleased. Can there even be such a thing as a movie that deals with Christian themes and that we actually think is good?

So after subjecting ourselves to way too many horrible movies, we finally decided to talk about an example of what we think a great Christian movie can be.

In this special episode of God's Not Watching, we review Noah – a movie that, on the whole, we loved.

This film was somewhat controversial because of the liberties it takes in its adaptation of the Biblical text – so controversial, it seems, that you can't even buy it at Koorong. We think that is truly a crying shame, and we hope this episode convinces you to give Noah a second look.

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Critics are calling it "edgy", "powerful", "hilarious", "their best work yet."

Yes, that's what they're saying about God's Not Watching podcast Episode 4 in which we review this terrible, awful movie, which critics panned.

Did you ever want to hear international best-selling author/itinerant preacher Priscilla Shirer preach a sermon on prayer, but also be watching a movie at the exact same time? You can now do that thanks to the 2015, Christian movie extravaganza – War Room. But, as the maxim goes, just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Created by the Kendrick brothers, the people who brought you Fireproof, Courageous, and Facing the Giants, this movie features not one, but two international best-selling female author/itinerant preachers – Priscilla Shirer AND Beth Moore – playing the role of actor.

Would God watch this movie? Find out now.

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What do you get when you cross Mean Girls with Must Love Dogs with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?

You get the worst movie with the best premise – Christian Mingle: The Movie.

That's right. The real-life online dating service, Christian Mingle, has its own real-life movie with its own real-life movie star Lacey "Gretchen the Mean Girl" Chabert.

Join us for our deep, nuanced, intelligent discussion of the ethics of flirt to convert.

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If you thought our first episode was hot, you're gonna think this next one is, well... ya know, more hot! We're going full fireproof in episode 2.

If you thought Netflix's Marriage Story (2019) was the best movie about marital breakdown, you were right, because Fireproof (2008) is all about marital breakdown and it's nowhere near as good!

Get ready for the movie where everything gets saved, from burning houses, to childhood actor Kirk Cameron's marriage, to childhood actor Kirk Cameron himself.

So put on your fire helmets and sound the sirens. It's Christian movie time.

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