Halal Cartels
By Halal Cartels
Global hot takes from a couple local brown guys living in the center of a sundowning empire.
hosted by
Gabe Pacheco
Sameer Naseem,
And just like the Wu, we do it for the children
IG: @gabepac1
IG: @sameermon
Contact: Halalcartels@gmail.com
twitter: @halalcartels
www.patreon.com/Halalcartels
Intro Music by SAREEN @sareenpatel @Brownprivilege
An Ex-Gangster for Capitalism, a Former Guerilla for Peace,and a T-1000 walk into a bar
In this episode, we chopped it up talking about Gabe’s folks visiting town, the Lower East Side and Alphabet City, and Zohran's campaign. We touch on the legacy of war hero, gangster for Capitalism, and later-pacifist Smedley Butler. We talk about the new documentary on Gustavo Petro's election in Colombia, “Petro”. We also delve into the implications of automation and AI in warfare, drawing parallels to dystopian narratives in cinema, particularly in the context of modern society's challenges.
Chapters
00:00 Community Engagement and Local Politics
02:37 Cultural Fusion and Culinary Experiences
05:31 Urban Green Spaces and Climate Solutions
08:24 Historical Reflections on War and Imperialism
13:56 Smedley Butler: A Voice Against War
18:33 Hope in Latin America: Gustavo Petro's Rise
24:38 Political Violence and Its Justifications
27:28 Populism and Political Campaigns
31:05 The Role of Media and Public Perception
34:59 The Dystopian Reality of Modern Warfare
45:07 Cultural Reflections in Sci-Fi Movies
2+2=5? w/ Luisa Diez
In another Why You Mad/Halal Cartels crossover, Luisa and Gabe Pacheco discuss a recent trip to Havana, Cuba, a vibrant, complex, society full of public life and community engagement.
Topics include disinformation, tourist art & cultural exchange, code switching with locals, lying & propaganda, consumerism & interpersonal relationships, and the shared (but distinct) disillusionment prevalent in both Cuba and the US.
Check out Why You Mad for more episodes about art culture comedy from a Latino Leftist perspective , etc. with Luisa’s regular co-host Jake Flores: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-you-mad/id1476317902
Holiday in Cuba! Alternative Realities and Possible Futures
Experiences and observations from a recent trip to Cuba, discussing the etiquette of air travel, cultural differences, and the unique societal structure of Cuba. Contrasting the experiences of tourists with those of locals, highlighting issues such as food deserts and health in both Cuba and the US. In this conversation, we explore the rich cultural tapestry of Cuba, focusing on communal living, generational bonds, and the warmth of hospitality. We discuss the significance of communal spaces, the impact of capitalism on culture, and the unique experience of dining in Cuba. The conversation also touches on the iconic Cuban cigars and the preservation of cultural identity amidst external pressures. We reflection on and highlight the contrasts between life in Cuba and the United States, particularly in terms of community, freedom, and identity.
NYC is a Ghost Town, Zohran for Mayor, and Tankies saved Cambodia: With Davidson Boswell
In this episode, Davidson Boswell joins the hosts to discuss a range of topics including urban planning, the impact of American politics on tourism, and the increasing paranoia surrounding surveillance in modern America. The conversation delves into economic predictions, the flaws of the immigration system, and the legacy of cultural icons who have faced deportation. They also explore the misuse of antisemitism in political discourse, the role of comedians in reflecting societal issues, and the uncertain future of consumerism. Davidson shares his reflections on Cambodia and the Khmer Rouge, emphasizing the importance of understanding history while navigating the complexities of modern politics.
00:00 Welcome Back and Introduction to Davidson Boswell
02:52 Nature, Urban Planning, and Climate Change
08:16 The Impact of American Politics on Tourism
11:03 Cultural Paranoia and Immigration Concerns
15:04 Economic Predictions and Cultural Shifts
20:09 Historical Context of Immigration and Deportation
24:27 Art, Activism, and the Fight for Freedom
25:42 Cultural References and Entertainment
28:01 Historical Context and Immigration
30:02 Antisemitism and Racism in Society
33:05 Censorship and Digital Identity
36:01 Consumerism and Identity Crisis
40:12 Political Commentary and Future Outlook
45:50 The Heart of New York: Accessibility and Affordability
49:05 Political Landscape: Zohran vs. Cuomo
51:58 Crown Heights: Tensions and Violence
55:47 The Legacy of Genocide: Reflections from Cambodia
01:01:59 Traveling Through History: Lessons from Southeast Asia
01:11:04 Final Thoughts: The Future Ahead
Creepy Crawling Apocalypse with a Sam Jackson Voice Over While We Put the Chipotle on Layaway
In this conversation, Gabe and Sameer explore various themes ranging from the experiences of comedians on the road to the societal implications of modern consumerism and entertainment. They discuss the irony of living in a world where basic needs like clean water are compromised, while simultaneously, people prioritize extravagant experiences like mega concerts. The conversation also touches on mortality, social justice issues, and the impact of financial trends on everyday life, particularly for younger generations. In this conversation, Sameer and Gabe explore various themes surrounding the current financial landscape, the disjointed nature of work culture, the impact of celebrity on job opportunities, and the rise of the creator economy. They discuss the implications of workplace politics, the entertainment industry's struggles, and the absurdity of social media trends, all while emphasizing the importance of community and personal responsibility.
Green Card Deportation to a WeWork Detention Center in Damascus
In this conversation, Gabe and Sameer explore the intersection of passion, business, and ethical consumerism, reflecting on the rise and fall of WeWork and the implications of corporate control over the workforce. They discuss the illusion of choice in democracy, the impact of remote work, and the importance of food and water as fundamental human rights. The conversation also touches on the consequences of U.S. foreign policy and the dangers of societal distractions. Sectarian violence in Syria, the possible deportation of Mahmoud Khalil.
Keywords
business, passion, ethical consumerism, WeWork, corporate control, remote work, democracy, surveillance, food security, foreign policy
French Connections, Oval Office Roasts, and Fly Coach with Parachutes
In this conversation, Gabe and Sameer discuss the current state of the U.S. government, reflecting on the perceived dismantling of social safety nets and the implications of recent political changes. They delve into the impact of air travel safety, the effects of war on society, and the representation of conflict in media. The discussion also touches on the intersection of crime and politics, the role of surveillance technology, and the historical context of the drug trade. They conclude by examining cultural perceptions of crime and the influence of social media on behavior. In this episode, Sameer and Gabe explore a range of topics from the complexities of human nature and the historical context of cannibalism to the implications of US foreign policy and the illusion of heroism surrounding figures like Zelensky. They discuss the importance of global awareness through travel, the evolution of warfare, and the consequences of military interventions. The conversation highlights the cyclical nature of power dynamics and the often overlooked realities of historical narratives.
Space Travel or Three Hermanas
In this episode of Halal Cartels, hosts Sameer and Gabe engage in a lively discussion covering a range of topics from the launch of Gabe's new child-friendly historical podcast to the challenges of navigating the comedy scene in the age of social media. They delve into the implications of reduced public safety in national parks, critique the obsession with space travel, and explore the illusion of technological progress in agriculture and work culture. The conversation culminates in a reflection on modern consumerism and the concept of techno feudalism, highlighting the disconnect between individualism and collective well-being. In this engaging conversation, Gabe and Sameer delve into various topics, including the investment potential of domain names, their thoughts on the horror film Nosferatu, and the unique storytelling perspective in the film Presence. They also discuss the changing landscape of independent cinema and the importance of supporting independent artists in today's market.
Patreon.com/halalcartels
Eating Credit Cards for the Microplastics and Watching the Superbowl for the Commercials
Gladiator 2, microplastics, American diets, cinema critique, Nosferatu, community art, Pakistani catfish incident, media critique, journalism, global politics, grassroots activism.
In this engaging conversation, Gabe and Sameer delve into various topics ranging from their disdain for the film Gladiator 2 to the implications of microplastics in American diets. They critique the narrative of Gladiator, discuss the cultural significance of Nosferatu, and share humorous anecdotes about community art events. The conversation takes a turn towards serious discussions on media representation, the Pakistani catfish incident, and the current state of journalism, highlighting the importance of grassroots activism and local engagement.
The US and France Are Having A Racism Contest!
This episode features Mehdi Walker, a stand up comedian living in Paris, France. Ever want to know what it's like to be a comedian in Paris right now? How about a brief history lesson on how France conducted nuclear tests in Algeria and then had nuclear fallout waft back to France? We also talk about racism, the Olympics, colonialism and supporting diverse voices in comedy. If you like this episode, please subscribe, Like, Share and most importantly leave us a great review! You can also share this episode link via text with your friends who might like the podcast!You can find us on the net.Mehdi Walker https://www.instagram.com/mehdiwalker_/Sameer https://www.instagram.com/sameermonGabe https://www.instagram.com/gabepac1Halal Cartels IG: https://www.instagram.com/halalcartels
Faking pregnancies and breakdancing like kangaroos for clout
A prank pregnancy announcement to promote a comedy show. The Olympics and the controversies surrounding it, including France banning athletes from wearing hijabs and the unsanitary conditions of the swimming venue. Breakdancing and the subjective nature of rating art and dance, emphasizing the importance of style and interpretation. The discussion also touches on the unfair treatment of athletes based on gender and the hypocrisy of Western countries in their dealings with the Global South. What is good sportsmanship and integrity in modern sports?
Copa America, Argentina's Chainsaw Economics, and the Multipolarity Express with Davidson Boswell
Makruh Mukbang with Hanan Issa
Hanan Issa is a comedian and writer born, raised, and based in NYC. She has been featured in the Arab American Comedy Festival, Time Out New York, and tours the country (and occasionally internationally). Her solo show, Halal Habibis, will be featured in this year’s renowned Edinburgh Fringe Festival where she will be performing it all of August!https://linktr.ee/imhanan?utm_source=linktree_profile_share
Godzilla Minus One and Your Annual Father’s Day Work Noose
Keywords
context, frozen identities, first impressions, Godzilla Minus One, LSD, Fourth of July, National Mall, toxic products, psychedelics, Silicon Valley, WeWork, work-life balance, Godzilla Minus One, Hiroshima bombing, bullet trains, live music, movies, books
00:00
Introduction
03:07
The Impact of First Impressions
09:42
Exploring Godzilla Minus One
13:18
The Experience of Taking LSD
23:23
Toxic Products Marketed to Children
25:25
Psychedelics and Silicon Valley
27:13
The Impact of Godzilla Minus One
31:49
The Benefits of Bullet Trains
34:07
The Future of Live Music
41:41
Thoughts on Movies and Books
Happy 4th to the world from Guam to Gaza
In this conversation, Gabe and Sameer discuss various topics including Independence Day, comedy shows, agent provocateurs, fake violence at protests, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Guantanamo Bay, police funding, reproductive rights, and the state of Detroit. They touch on themes of injustice, government manipulation, and the erosion of civil liberties. Detroit is often portrayed as a dystopian hellscape in movies, but Gabe's experience visiting the city was entirely different. He found Detroit to be beautiful and filled with friendly people. The city's auto-centric design and lack of population density contribute to its dystopian feel, but it also fosters a sense of resilience and camaraderie among the residents. Detroit has a thriving art scene, with artists creating without the pressure of commercial success. The city is also known for its diverse food options, including Yemeni and Middle Eastern cuisine. Overall, Detroit offers a unique and vibrant experience for visitors.
00:00Happy Fourth of July and Unjust Incarceration
02:03Proper Etiquette at Comedy Shows
05:21Agent Provocateurs and Manipulation
08:30The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict
11:08Allocation of Funds and Essential Services
14:35 The Battle for Reproductive Rights
28:16 Discovering the Beauty of Detroit
30:37 Resilience and Camaraderie in a Dystopian City
52:06 Thriving Art Scene in Detroit
55:14 Exploring the Diverse Food of Detroit
Give the Columbia kids cookies, learn about axolotls, and don't use Expedia
Sipping Yemeni Coffee at Sleep No More While My Wife is in Jail and Diddy is Free
Self-Immolation, Vice Media Left for Dead in Malaysia, A Soft and Quiet Zone of Interest
00:00 Introduction and Self-Immolation in Protest
02:00 Media Coverage and Moral Clarity
03:49 Media Suppression and Self-Immolation Incidents
07:12 Farewell to Vice Media
09:02 The Importance of Backing Up Digital Content
10:28 Virtual Reality and Escaping the Real World
25:45 The Failure of Corporations and the Journalism Industry
28:12 Controversial New York Times Article
30:38 Debunking the New York Times' False Story
32:03 The New York Times as Fake News
33:00 Lack of Fact-Checking and Awards
33:30 Unethical and Shady Reporting
35:25 The New York Times' History of Fake News
36:23 The New York Times' Caliphate Podcast Scandal
37:21 The New York Times' Lack of Fact-Checking
39:17 The New York Times' Role in Legitimizing the Iraq War
40:16 The New York Times' Agenda in the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict
42:11 The Movie 'Zone of Interest' and the Parallel with Palestine
43:01 The Movie 'Soft and Quiet' and Banal Evil
Something Stinks at Columbia University but Thailand rules! (Feat. Davidson Boswell)
On this episode, Gabe and Sameer have comedian Davidson Boswell on the podcast. He joins us after recently returning from performing comedy for a couple months in Thailand. We learn more about performing comedy abroad and his travels in Asia.
We also talk about the protests at Columbia University, the "skunk water" attacks from IDF soldiers who happen to also go to school there and the non-existent response from the administration.
NOTE: Sameer's mic crapped out toward the end of the episode and we had to make the tough call of still publishing it after it wasn't salvagable. Don't worry, we figured out the problem and it won't be an issue next episode.
Follow Davidson on IG and TikTok: @davidsonboswell
Follow Gabe on IG @Gabepac1 and Twitter @gabe_pacheco
Follow Sameer on IG and Twitter @Sameermon
Freddy G's Reading List
On the first episode of 2024 the fellas have comedian Freddy G on the podcast. They talk about Gabe's trip to New Orleans, Freddy going to a Zionist school growing up, his trip to Israel on "Birth Right" and some crucial books to read that had a major impact on him.
If you like the podcast please Like, Subscribe, REVIEW and most importantly share it with your friends and loved ones.
You can find Freddy G on all platforms @FreddyG
Gabe @gabepac1 and Sameer @sameermon on IG
War Crimes Lawyers, Unerotic Dutch People, Jews for Peace w/ Jess Salomon
She’s been a Stand Up NBC finalist, done lots of cool festivals including Just for Laughs. Her debut album, “All the Best Choices” came out in 2019 with label, 800 Pound Gorilla which will soon release her debut comedy special and second album, "Sad Witch".
You can also watch her comedy special, “Marriage of Convenience” on the Just for Laugh’s YouTube channel, recorded with her wife as part of their duo act @theelsalomons.
Fun fact: before comedy Jess used to be a U.N. war crimes lawyer. The jury is still out on whether this was a good move.
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Welcome To Soldiers of Light Radio feat. Luisa Diez
The response from Israel post October 7th has been devastating on civilians, especially children in Palestine. Gabe and Sameer have Luisa (their favorite guest) from Why You Mad podcast to talk about the current climate in the United States and abroad.
They discuss the immediate McCarthyist attempts at silencing people who question the indiscriminate killing of civilians by Israel as "self defense" in the entertainment industry (among many others)
They discuss various attempts at pink-washing and delegitimizing protest to attempt to force Americans to acquiesce and allow a genocide. We urge you to do regarding this subject matter, the kind one used to do at a library, not the kind people do on Instagram via memes.
Sameer talks about how Joe Biden spit in the face of Muslims and Arabs across the US and how as a community he has seen them vow not to vote Democrat ever again.
They also discuss the article from the New Yorker about Hasan Minhaj and how it was a hit piece along with his response video with receipts.
Some immediate moves you can make to help:
Demand an immediate ceasefire by calling an writing to your reps. www.jewishvoiceforpeace.org/resource/call-congress-support-ceasefire/
Educate your family and friends about the evils of the occupation.
March at protests, speak up online.
Donate to families in Palestine irusa.org/middle-east/palestine/
You can find Gabe @gabepac1 Sameer @sameermon and Luisa @luisadieznuts on Instagram
Catch more of Luisa by listening to Why You Mad Podcast episodes bit.ly/3QBYt3N
The Open Air Prison Jail Break Episode
Sameer and Gabe talk about the October 7th attack from Hamas on Israel. Sameer talks about growing up in a mixed community and learning about the conditions in the West Bank at a young age. They fellas discuss the occupation and the consequences of the attack. Mostly, the fellas had no idea what was about to transpire in the days following. Stay tuned to future episodes for more updates as things unfold.
In advance of being trolled for our dialogue about this subject, we want to make sure that everyone knows that our point of view is that every human being should have freedom and be free of occupation. We value all human life, even those that we might politically disagree with.
Our episodes are free but we have a Patreon for fans to support the podcast. In lieu of joining the Patreon today we kindly ask that you donate money to Palestine Children's Relief Fund at the link below.
pcrf1.app.neoncrm.com/forms/gaza-relief
If you are unable to donate money, please make it a point to speak up and educate people on historic misconceptions caused by propaganda, harmful racial stereotypes that dehumanize people and the occupation in general.
And as always, be kind to each other and build bridges.
You can follow Gabe @gabepac1 and Sameer @sameermon on Instagram.
Share, Like and Review this podcast if you like it.
The Guys Were Just Marinating In Medellin and Escaping An Earthquake in Marrakech
Donate to Doctor's Without Borders to help with relief efforts in Morocco here: bit.ly/3PIxwuB
Follow Sameer @sameermon and Gabe @gabepac1 on IG
Also, huge news! We've started a newsletter and we're going to start posting photos, links to some of the insane things we talk about and other extras there. Head on over to our Substack and subscribe for a weekly newseltter/reminder when our new episodes drop!
Check out Sameer and Gabe's weekly Brooklyn stand-up comedy show called Funhouse every Wednesday night at 10pm at Pete's Candy Store in Williamsburg.
Dating single moms and welcoming the aliens with Rojo Perez
Follow this week's guest ROJO PEREZ We talk about dating, being creatively lost and found, witnessing the eye of a hurricane, fitness, being the cool uncle, partying in Puerto Rico and more... He's performing a new hour at Littlefield Tuesday 8/22/23 8pm We now have a Patreon Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Bird lice, proud moms, and sneaking away from the picnic to make babies
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Episode 70! Airline meltdowns, Ocean toilets and Strikes
This week we talk about the airlines barely functioning and no one being held accountable, the effects of climate change and how epic rainfall is backing up sewers and ejecting sewage into the beaches on the East Coach and other great things like this.
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Leaky Buns in the Sensory Deprivation Tank and Punk Rock Museums in Las Vegas w/ Michael Friedrich
Read more: thebaffler.com/salvos/please-shill-me-friedrich We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1
twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter
@halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Midsummer Episode with Special Guests, the Comedy Outliers Brandon Collins and Mike Brown
Gabe Pacheco this week with Brandon Collins @americancollins on IG and Mike Brown @yomikebrown on IG
Check them out live July 7th at Union Hall in BK 10pm
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Ai Couple's Counselors and Naked Comedy Shows in the End Days
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Gabe on IG @Gabepac1
Sameer on IG @Sameermon
See us perform live every week at Brooklyn's longest running weekly independent comedy show Funhouse comedy 10pm in Brooklyn at Pete's Candy Store
Lord of the Flies, Crowd Work Comics, Is China really that bad?, Russia is about to liquidate all their non-playable characters to feed the war machine.
Do all comedians lose their edge when they get rich? Gabe reviews Marlon Wayans new stand up special and why it rules.
Sameer talks about the impact of crowd work clippers on the art of live stand up comedy.
They talk about the threat of TikTok being banned in the US and how every election cycle centers a social platform to take down. Is TikTok a secret weapon?
Sameer and Gabe debate China and the USA and who’s worse for Muslims and the world in general.
They talk about the algorithm and how everything has become too h*rny these days.
Russia is about to draft and liquidate their non-playable characters to feed the war machine.
Subscribe, Rate us on ITunes and Share with Friends!
Follow:
Gabe on IG @Gabepac1
Sameer on IG @Sameermon
See us perform live every week at Brooklyn's longest running weekly independent comedy show Funhouse comedy 10pm in Brooklyn at Pete's Candy Store
Binghamton's Brightest Star Jim "Jim Jam" Search drops by for 90s Hip Hop talk, self-producing comedy albums, and tales of chapped lip New England state troopers
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Henry Rollins to Rogan Pipeline and Billionaire Vanity Islands w/ Journo Michael Friedrich
We talk about Privatize public space urban renewal projects sterilizing the New York City, and the bittersweet legacy of the Gen X DIY punk rock ethos and it's elder statesman Henry Rollins.
Michael Friedrich linktr.ee/mfriedrichnyc?fbclid=PAAaYHvdWxgFgfAYNKNIQx8-n7l4aTxQvpaKKOGpvBhkmlOqR8Mtdxo-4fueQ
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Is Eating A$$$$ Halal? with Christiana Jackson
Christiana Jackson IG @incomparablemsc
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Assaulted by street poetry, soggy Seattle zombieland, and the ugly truth about the Playboy Mansion
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Halal Small Talk and Cartel Menus w/guest Luisa Diez
Very special collaboration episode with Why You Mad podcast host Luisa Diez We cover Colin Quinn's new one-man show, Judith Light's happy marriage arrangement, and the film the Menu, now playing on HBO Max. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Pyroclastic Flows, Rental Cars, Holiday at the Vatican, and Polar Vortices
Detroit Techno, Newark Urban Renewal, and Godfather 3 with Justin Williams
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Dry Boy Thanksgiving in Qatar and Milking Snakes for Venom
Watching the Shining in Español
Thanksgiving
FIFA
Dry Holiday in Qatar
Sameer’s Friends love non-alcoholic beer
Modern day slavery in the Gulf
Gabe is buying random spices
Black Licorice, Cop Gangs, Escaping Arranged Marriages and Embracing Bachelorhood (sry abt the audio)
We apologize about the audio on this thang, but the content is strong in this one. See you next week with cleaner and crisper audio. Today we talk about the National Security Agency vs Buzzfeed, the origin of the FBI and their campaign against the Flores Magon brothers, cops in gangs, arranged marriages, no Nut November, and embracing bachelorhood We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Speaking in Tongues in Cuernavaca, Curbing Comedy Punishers, Toilet Wine is Haram, Being Polite is not a Virtue,
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Spooky New England Bisques and Spicy Nigerian Pepper Soups
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Dahmer, Cops Failing Up, Bad Bunny Videos, and Sneaky Pork: Eating Halal in Japan
Another banger for your ears and brains. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
A Strange Journey from Civil Wars to Stand Up Comedy Festivals in South Sudan, w/ Akau Jambo
It's an away-game episode. Gabe met Akau Jambo while he was performing a set at a coffee shop on the Lower East Side. Akau's is a riveting story, as the first English Language standup comedian coming out of South Sudan, the second youngest country in the world! Listen in as we talk about life in the refugee camps of Kenya, comedy in Uganda, and Akau's journey so far into becoming a global voice in stand-up. Side note, Barbados is the new baby country among the nations of Earth. Follow him at: IG @akaujambo Maybe one day soon Halal Cartels will do a live episode at the Juba International Comedy Fest in South Sudan, which Akau founded. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Haunted by Soggy Ghost Girls, Klosterman's Nineties, and Pakistan is Underwater
The joys of the library app, misinformed by search engines cluttered with ads, biblical flooding in Pakistan, the Mandela Effect, the Nineties by Chuck Klosterman, landlines, microfiche, work/life balance, Industry- the TV series, and petty life hacks
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord
IG: @gabepac1
twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
Was Sex Better Under Stalin? Who are the Gen Z Trads? Why Bosses So Horny to Return to Officespace w/ Luisa Diez
We bring on guest and co-host of the WHY YOU MAD? Podcast, anthropologist/art historian, rabble-rouser Luisa Diez to talk about marriage, weddings, trads, the nuclear family scam, sex under socialism, and the return to the office. And we get a break down of what it means to be HALAL/CARTELS. This one is fuego Follow Luisa https://twitter.com/luisadieznuts
We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @ gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Aliens on the Lolita Express, Botanical Sexism, the Bushido Code is a Rent-A-Cop Manual
We tackle the big issues this time around. Allergies, Pets, the Tom Brown Jr. Tracking School, Samurai Bashing, UFOs, Climate Change, the Amish immune system, and space travel, Harvest of Empire, Gaddafi's drip, and more. We now have a Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Explosive Ink Packets on Your Door Dash Delivery, New Predator flick "Prey", and Paris Comedy
Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher
Warzone Cuddle Parties, Role Playing Life and Death Scenarios, and Jarheads Teaching Phonics
Another fun episode with Gabe and Sameer. We cover the nightlife of Kviv, moving to Mexico City, the Rehearsal, medical interpreter training, and more. Patreon: Join to enter our Discord IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon Twitter @halalcartels MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege Art by @elizabitcrusher