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Happy Meditator

Happy Meditator

By Tamy Khan
The Happy Meditator podcast is designed to help you live a happier, more mindful, and resilient life. Discover how mindfulness and meditation can help you reduce stress & anxiety, enhance your focus and balance your emotions. Hosted by Tamy Khan.
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Fighting your sadness
Quiet Mind Better Sleep technique https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/ Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/fighting-your-sadness/ If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
05:38
January 18, 2021
I don't know
Happymeditator.com
09:51
December 31, 2020
How to talk to your worries and anxiety
When worries and fear take over your mind, it can feel overwhelming and hard to ignore. The dwell on difficulty or troubles can cloud your mind, and it could feel hard to think clearly... Quiet Mind Better Sleep Technique https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/ Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/how-to-talk-to-your-worries-and-anxiety/ If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
09:23
December 18, 2020
Is minimalism the new happiness trend?
I have enjoyed reading books and watching documentaries and Tv series about minimalism in the last two years. Being a minimalist is something that ... Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/2504490-2/ Quiet Mind Better Sleep Guide https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/ If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
14:01
December 16, 2020
Overcome one meditation struggle to increase productivity
Meditation requires a consistent effort to keep training your mind to sit and practice every day. I find that frequently people struggle to sit daily. Many obstacles can interfere with sustaining a meditation practice, like logistics, planning, and guidance that are required to begin. But there is one crucial aspect that influences people and stops them from practicing meditation that is rarely talked about, positivity. What about positivity and meditation? ------ Free Guide: Quiet Mind Better Sleep https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/ ----- Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/one-meditation-struggle-that-you-can-overcome/ If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
10:13
December 11, 2020
When shit happens at work
You can spend your life trying your best to be a healthy person. You can eat right, only organic products, work out, take supplements, and have a healthy weight. At night you get 8 hours of sleep. You daily drink eight glasses of water, stay away from sugar and processed foods. You do not smoke, don’t do drugs, and drink alcohol responsibly. You faithfully follow the doctor’s orders and never miss your yearly annual medical check-ups. You ensure you stay away from harmful chemicals, use products to clean your home free from toxins, and do daily brain exercises. You do your best, and still shit happens to you... Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/when-shit-happens/ ***Free guide Quiet Mind Better Sleep Technique*** https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/ If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
14:02
December 8, 2020
How emotional suffering is created
Daily, we deal with situations that bring us dissatisfaction and disappointments. Everyday events have an impact on our mood and how we feel about life. Some days can feel more satisfactory and positive than others. Maybe you think that you were lucky,  blessed, that the stars align for you, you had a good day. On the other hand, when you feel that you had a miserable day, you think that people were wrong, that you had a curse, and luck was against you. What if I challenged that interpretation of the reasons. What if your perception was the only thing that created a good day or a snot so good day? If you could recall the last day, you felt that you had a good day, what happened on that day? Reminisce about what were the things that made your day feel satisfactory to you. On that day, events that evolve suit your preferences, and you felt connected with positive emotions. Very possibly, you felt joy, serenity, safety, and support. Maybe it was one or more situations that made you feel that it was a joyous day. The moments, people, and situations matched your expectations on what is satisfying and pleasurable for you, even if not all, things were great, you perceived as a happy day. On the other hand, recall a day that you felt was a miserable day. Try to remember what situations transpire that made it a not so good day. It is likely that your recall connecting with fear, sadness, loneliness, and anger. These are the most common challenging emotions that most of us tend to feel when we think we are unhappy. ----- Free Guide Better Sleep Technique https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/ Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/how-to-emotional-suffering-is-created/ If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
10:51
December 4, 2020
One word to reduce mental noise
In my experience as a health manager, I worked with people with Dementia. This brain illness affects cognitive functioning, thinking, and sufferers can struggle to communicate effectively. Some of the patients I used to work with had an ongoing out loud dialogue that didn’t seem to have a switch offsetting. Their relatives described their conversations as irrational and disconnected. For many, they struggled to make sense of what their loved ones were talking out loud. Sometimes I sat and listened to the Dementia patients’ monologues. I wanted to see if I could make sense of them. Some of the monologues were about conversations they seem to be having with someone from their past. Other times they seem to be about an inner dialogue that they were having with themselves. This inner dialogue reminded me of my internal conversations with myself. Possibly you can relate to this experience of listening to an inner voice that narrates your opinions, likes, and dislikes. This voice tells you how you feel about situations that trouble you and is also very specific about justifying disagreements with others. No matter how aware or not you are of this voice, it is always there. The more aware I have become of it, the more I think it does not have a switch off the button. One of the key factors I noticed from listening to these out loud dialogues of dementia patients is that they aren’t that different from my own. Theirs seems to be mostly about the past; mine will also focus on my history and ignore the present. This conclusion got me thinking: Is my inner dialogue also irrational? --- Download Our Free Guide: How to Release Stress and Enjoy Peaceful Sleep Every Night https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/ --- Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/how-to-emotional-suffering-is-created/ If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
13:58
December 1, 2020
Where to find your worry trap
Last week I came across this very interesting research published on the psychology today website about worry. A clinical study done with people from 18-59 years old concluded that most people worry about the same things. The most popular categories for worrying are personal relationships, work, financial, aimless future, and lack of confidence. Around 75% of these worries revolve around situations that may happen right now or in the future... Free Guide:  How to Release Stress and Enjoy Peaceful Sleep Every Night https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/ ----- Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/where-to-find-your-worry-trap/ If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:17
November 27, 2020
One shortcut to reframe stress
There are no disagreements that we are living through challenging times. Challenges can increase stress levels and make us re-establish priorities in our lives. Usually, when we talk about stress, we only think about the negative side of stress. But what about the positive side of stress? Is there a positive side to feeling stressed?... For the show notes please click on this link: https://happymeditator.com/one-shortcut-to-reframe-stress/ ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
12:14
November 24, 2020
Dealing with internal conflict and toxic habits
Yesterday my husband called to tell me about a situation he observed while he stopped his car at a gas station to check his phone. At the same time, another vehicle parked next to him. The driver caught his attention. He noticed a man carefully putting on a mask and gloves. Then the man got out of the car and went inside the convenience store at the gas station. He did take long and was quickly back in his vehicle within a few minutes. My husband then observed that he carefully took his gloves off and mask, got some hand sanitizer, and rubbed it in his hands and face. After doing all the sanitation, he lowered his window, light up a cigarette, and started smoking... For the show notes please click on the link below: https://happymeditator.com/2504448-2/ ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
11:16
November 19, 2020
3 Ways to free yourself from pessimism
Have someone ever told you: “Don’t be so negative, be happy! “ Did you find it useful? Research on optimism forecast that the most common answer is no. Happy is a word that people use to force optimism. Just because someone said “be happy” does not give you the tools to deal with a situation that you are feeling pessimistic. For the show notes please click on this link: https://happymeditator.com/3-ways-to-free-yourself-from-pessimism/ ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:29
November 16, 2020
Your mind's greatest power
I want to share with you today a story that I recently came across that shock me to my core. This extraordinary story shows the infinite power of our imagination. And how in the middle of the most difficult challenges in our lives we can use our imagination to overcome anything. This is the true story of French poet Robert Desnos.  https://happymeditator.com/blog/ ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:51
November 5, 2020
Has worrying been helpful to you
For the show notes use this link: https://happymeditator.com/has-worrying-been-helpful-to-you/ ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:38
November 2, 2020
How to create sustainable happiness
For show notes please visit: https://happymeditator.com/how-to-create-sustainable-happiness/ ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
13:27
October 31, 2020
The mindful guide to decision making
Research studies about the decision-making process found that many things we ignore are vital factors when deciding. When I found out about these essential determinators, I was surprised. Knowing about these factors got me thinking about changing my beliefs about decision-making. Also, it gave a chance to bring mindfulness into the picture as a path to build a more wholesome perspective. Things that seem universal and truth full to me and you are just a result of our perception. When we assume that something is universal and that everybody agrees on common sense, we are living a lie. Some factors that influence our decisions have to do more with who you are than just common sense. I think it is crucial for anybody who cares about their decision-making to consider these issues. Let’s begin with the factors that we ignore and may overlook. Here are some of the most common things that we ignore and contribute to our decision making. Body depletion: Being hungry, tired, and depleted of energy. Information manipulation: Accepting and believing information that has is distorted and manipulated to make you think that you have a problem that doesn’t exist. Emotional urgency: Rushing and not thinking things through because your emotions have blinded your mind. Social support- Feeling a lack of support and social connection from people you care about and are significant to you. One point of view: Only looking at problems and solutions from your limited perspective and being closed to other perspectives. After familiarizing myself with these factors, and wanted to simplify the decision-making process. I collected more information and created a Mindful decision making checklist that you can follow to stay more mindful in your decision making. For the mindful guide checklist visit: https://happymeditator.com/the-mindful-guide-to-decision-making/ ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
14:05
October 29, 2020
How to train a compassionate brain
In everyday life, we come across behaviors that we see in people that we dislike. Whether we find them disgusting, irritating, irrational, or obnoxious, we are judging these people. We are judging them, and we like to put them in the category of people that we don’t like A lot of the time, we create stories to validate the reason why we dislike them so much. Where is he going that needs to be in such a hurry? She didn’t have someone that taught her good manners… These people are dumb and do not have any common sense. Guilty We are all guilty of judging others. The more we do it, the more we begin to create a distance from “those people” and consider them “not my kind of people.” The science of happiness has been promoting that we need to cultivate more trust to build happiness chemicals in our brains. The more we connect with people, we feel a sense of trust; we produce more oxytocin and mental resilience. Oxytocin Oxytocin is a hormone that is essential for our happiness. If you want to increase oxytocin, you might want to consider reducing social judgments. Research on compassion and kindness practices indicate these practices lessen bias against these stigmatized out-groups. In our world full of discrimination and separation between groups, we have started with what we can control ourselves. But how do we stop creating separation ? A year ago, I learned this mindful compassion exercise that I like to use when I catch myself judging others. I can’t remember where I came across it, but it an effortless practice that is very useful. I like to do this practice to reduce criticism whenever I judge a stranger with an external behavior that I notice. Most commonly, I do this practice when I’m driving, waiting in line, or when I become in contact with someone I do not know. This an intentional practice that cuts through the judgment on the spot and moves you towards creating a positive connection. By creating more connections we reduce the separation gap. Steps Notice your judgment The first step is to notice that I started judging a stranger. I bring attention to criticizing a behavior. I stop and take a pause. I do not continue the judgments. I begin the compassion practice by repeating the phrase “Just like me.” Notice something you can relate to If I notice a characteristic that I can relate to, I will acknowledge it and then repeat the phrase” just like me”. For example, Another person that is driving to get to an important place, just like me. Another woman is trying to complete her errands for today, just like me. An elderly driver, just like my father in law, trying to go somewhere, just like me. I tend to find it beneficial to relate the person to someone I love and know that I’ll be more kind, loving, and patient. Find more connections to you I mentioned other factors that could contribute to someone behaving in a certain way that I will find understandable to justify their behavior. This person may be sad, confused, overwhelmed, or sick. This person wishes not to be in pain or suffering, just like me. This person wants love, health and happiness, just like me Closing the practice I complete the exercise by sending kindness and compassion. May you be safe, healthy, and happy. ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
10:34
October 24, 2020
Mindfully clearing emotional clutter
I had a special and caring Aunt that passed away a few years ago. She used to collect many mementos and old objects. Her house has full of ceramics, pictures, and trinkets. Most objects were from positive memories, but there was one thing that I remembered that was a painful memory. Her first husband died in a tragic car accident. He passed over thirty years ago, and she kept a picture of him in her bedroom. The photo was the emotional clutter that reminded her of an abusive husband. Whenever she talked about him, her mood and her body language changed. You could see the pain and suffering on her face. Your heart remembers My Aunt’s situation is not an isolated one. Many people keep things in their home that they remind them of negative or tragic memories from their past. These items become emotional clutter that keeps them holding on to their past suffering. Keeping those items will keep stuck in those unpleasant and sometimes harrowing memories. I want to invite you to get rid of emotional clutter from your past. If you look at your bedroom, home, and closet, do you have any times to connect you with emotionally painful memories? If your answer is yes, you keep garbage that blocks your happiness and is cluttering your present. There could also be things that you don’t think are painful or negative, but they are. Maybe you are holding on to clothes for years that do not fit you because you hope you will lose weight. Whenever you see these items, you feel ashamed about your body and start a self-critical spiral. It can be any item that brings you down and connect you with negative judgment and disturbs your inner peace. If you are unsure if you have any of these items around you, it is easy to find out if you do. When you see or hold these emotional cluttering objects in your hands, you feel tired, depressed, angry, and overwhelmed. You can sometimes feel very uncomfortable emotions arising and overtaking your heart. A practical way to release emotional baggage from our past is to do it by getting rid of mementos that connect with painful memories. If you feel that you are frequently thinking about your past situations that block your inner peace and happiness, consider this releasing practice. Releasing your past Go through your mementos and other items that you feel are keeping you down. Grab the items and hold them. Take time to go through your bedroom, closet, attic, garage, storage unit, and your home. Please take a look at the things you are keeping and hold them to see what emotional reaction you get. Talk to the objects and tell them why you are keeping them. Say it out loud if you want or in your mind, and connect with the reason you have for keeping the item. After reconnecting with the objects, decide which items you are going to throw away. All the things you feel are keeping your stuck to a negative past put them to the side. Dispose of the item to heal and empower you to move on with your life. You can destroy, chopped, break or burn the object if you think that will get you to release the past. You can also donate or recycle the items if you think it will help you know that your history will help others. Complete the exercise by placing around you items that remind yourself about loving memories. Take out and display things that you found in this declutter and place them where you can see them, touch, and hug them. Surround yourself with items that make you connect with love and remind you of a safer and happier life now. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
10:21
October 23, 2020
The clutter we can’t see
Mental clutter is created by wasteful worries and situations that keep repeating in our minds with no positive outcome. We keep going on and on in circles about situations that we feel frustrated about, but we do not resolve, or we can’t resolve. All these obsessions are about things being the way we want, when we want, and how we want them. These thoughts generate a lot of waste and clutter our minds. One way to reduce mental clutter is to begin to notice it and work towards getting rid of it. The same way that clean your fridge and get rid of things past their due date, the same way you get rid of your mental clutter. You can begin releasing frustrations that are taking too much room in your mind, and you are not getting any positive outcome by keeping them in your head. There is one massive frustration that I want to invite you today to begin your decluttering journey. This one is one of the most frustrating things that we all do, which creates many build-ups. This clutter is attached to our close relationships, and we tend to work on it obsessively every day. I’m talking about our obsession with fixing someone else. Sometimes we get so hung up on wanting people to change that we don’t realize how much we suffer from this mental clutter. In your mind, you are sure that your partner, husband, spouse, children, mom, or dad need to change so you can let go. You have convinced yourself that they are doing something that bothers and frustrates you and they must stop, You feel very genuine and truthful about your good intention to get them to change. You express your perspective the best way you can, but they are not interested in changing. Your frustrations build every day because their way and habit keep bothering you. You feel upset, and negativity builds up. Your frustrations become your mental clutter. Two people are holding on to their point of view, with no desire to change their minds. Two wanting to be right in a situation are also creating more clutter. We can call this type of mess, relationship clutter. This situation harms the relationship. When you keep repeating that they are wrong, you are blocking your inner peace and adding suffering. How to release the mental clutter? Pick a person in your life that keeps feeling frustrated because you believe that they are wrong, and you are right. Remind yourself about the behavior that disrupts your inner peace. Connect with your mind and body’s feelings and sensations when you observe them doing the act of saying what you dislike. Ask yourself: How is this situation wearing me out? Assume that the other person will never change this behavior. Then ask yourself: What will be the best thing for me to regain my inner peace? What do I need to do to release this mental clutter? Establish your action plan and put it into practice. Release the mental clutter today and allow your mind to focus on more productive things for your mental well-being. Here is today’s quote: “Better believe it, those in pursuit of Happiness can’t expect to remain unchanged.” Efrat Cybulkiewicz And my one question for you is… What are you waiting to start your decluttering journey? If you like this podcast, please subscribe or leave a review. And if you would like more information or want to CONNECT with me, visit happymeditator.com.
09:30
October 15, 2020
For better sleep, stop running after your thoughts
Disrupting your stressful thoughts could be a crucial factor in improving your sleep. Ensuring that you get the sleep you need could hold the key to your overall wellbeing. Difficulties with sleep are associated with depression and anxiety. Mental health problems are also associated with an overactive mind. An overactive mind that spends to much time stressed, worrying, and overthinking the same fearful thoughts. The more your mind keeps going around in a circle on the same worries, the more unruly the mind becomes. We all need to learn to put our minds to rest. Sleep helps to recharge the brain but doesn’t help with placing the mind to rest. Commonly, people that suffer from excessive worry and overthinking have difficulties with sleep. Sometime they can’t go to sleep as their mind is still running around on high alert mode. They tend to wake up in the middle of the night and can not go back to sleep. Training your mind to rest is a way to reduce repetitive thinking and get your thoughts slow down. If you care about your well-being and sleep, you need to pay more attention to what is going on in your mind. Reducing overthinking begins with increasing self-awareness about your repetitive thinking. Knowing when you get inside the hamster wheel of your repetitive worries may hold the key for finding better sleep and inner peace. Observe the mind One crucial thing that you can begin doing today is to pay attention to your thoughts when you do simple routine tasks. I’m talking about when you shower, brush your teeth, drive your car or when you do the dishes. When we do these everyday tasks, our minds start and go very active in the overthinking and worry mode. Commonly, most people do not realize that we are running after our thoughts all day and night. The mind is overthinking and running wild without ever stopping to take a break. These mental races can promote brain overload that increases stress levels with no positive outcome. This mind overactivity continues until nighttime, and your mind does not know how to stop when its time to go to sleep. This running race disrupts your sleeping patterns. If you want to improve your sleep and your sleep quality, you must train your mind and get it to slow down. Begin with paying attention to your daily routine and actively disrupt your mind from running wild. To stop running after your thoughts, you need to disengage the mind from useless thinking. Stop running after your thoughts. When your mind is racing, visualize a large red stop sign. See the stop sign, and move back your attention to whatever task you are doing. If you are driving, hold your wheel with a tighter grip, look at the road, and notice what is happening. Pay attention to your five senses. Depending on the task you are doing, use your five senses, and continue focusing on the task. If you are brushing your teeth, notice the toothpaste’s taste or the toothbrush's sensations in your gums. Hold the toothbrush and notice how your fingers are gripping it. Keep disrupting your stressful thinking during your day. Repetition is vital to get it to stick. You might have to do these five, twenty, or a hundred times. It doesn’t matter how many times you have to do it; the important thing is that you keep disrupting your mind and stop running after useless thoughts. This exercise is a mindfulness technique that helps with mind training and brings your mind to the present moment. This technique will help you stay mindful in your day and at night. Practice daily to increase awareness about your mind and your thoughts. If you want to improve your sleep, you must pay attention to the racing thoughts that disrupt your sleep. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:09
October 13, 2020
The mindful skill for self- confidence
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could stay attuned to the present moment? Wouldn’t it be great if you could feel confident in expressing your thoughts and feelings? Are self-confidence and mindfulness linked? Many people find it challenging to staying present in conversations. Their mind wanders to their worries and can’t stay connected. Staying present is not something that comes naturally to us. Staying in tune with the present is an ideal state of being and is not permanent. It comes and goes all the time.  One determining factor about our absent mind is that it spends a lot of time in the future and the past. If you tend to feel low on confidence, your mind is wandering more than you think. The more your mind wanders, the more you are prone to revisiting memories from your past that connect with a lack of confidence.  The lack of confidence also reflects when your mind travels to the future. You could be thinking that history will repeat itself and worry excessively about the future event going wrong. One thing that can help you with confidence is to practice staying present during conversations with people. Why should you want to be more present? Have you ever been in conversation, and your mind starts wandering, and then you realized that you don’t have a clue about what the other person is talking about? We all have been there. I remember how it feels to be in this uncomfortable situation. You feel awkward, and then you have to figure out if you pretend that you are following the conversation or face the problem and tell the person you were not listening. Also, this situation will not help with confidence around people. Wouldn’t it be better if you were able to stay present? A simple way of building more confidence is to train your mind to stay present. Become a better mindful listener, and you will increase your confidence. Good listeners are more successful, better employees, better parents, and more supportive partners and spouses. When you improve your listening skills, you will become more trustworthy and get better at problem-solving. Here are mindfulness practice for staying present in conversations: Remove distractions: Ensure that electronics, reminders, and phone alerts are turned off if you can put your phone out of your reach. Mindful posture: Face the person you re-talk to and align your body posture, so it’s comfortable and open. Do not cross your arms, legs, or slouch. Keep your spine erect, and chest open and shoulders relaxed. Look at the person and keep eye contact. Mindful attention: Your mind will inevitably wander in any conversation. When you notice that this happens, take a pause and slow your breath. You can take three slow breaths and keep your attention on the person. Less talking and more listening: Do not give your opinion unless you ask you for it. Do your best to listen and stay attentive to only giving feedback that indicates that you are paying attention to the other person. Be comfortable with pauses and quiet when the other person is talking. I like to nod my head and stay silent. There is nothing wrong with a little silence and pausing in conversations. If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
09:04
October 7, 2020
One solution for negative self-talk
The other day I was driving to the grocery store, and suddenly a memory from an accident that happened to my son came to mind. I started remembering this painful event, and straight away, I noticed feeling negative about myself. I began to feel insecure about my parenting as I still blame myself for my son’s injury. Connecting with the problematic memories made me realized that I still have not resolved and healed from this event. As any parent, I deal with situations that bring me to doubt my parenting skills. Sometimes I tend to find it more challenging to deal with negative self-talk in these parenting issues. Maybe you find this too. Perhaps you also have noticed that specific memories or situations can trigger negative self- talk in your life. Usually, they are about the things that we feel the need to be perfect and judge ourselves harshly because we think we have failed. This self-criticism can also be things related to our identity, moral principles, or values. Thre is a mindful solution that I use, and you can use too to cope with negative self – talk. Whether the inner voice is talking about your parenting, work, relationships, or self-control, you can use this mindful technique. Every time that we bring mindfulness to a challenge, it always starts with listening to our inner dialogue. A mindful solution Journal: Write down the event and the words that come to mind during your negative inner dialogue. For example, it will look like I was driving, and my mind wandered to memory about a painful event with my son. My internal dialogue was: You should have done better. You are responsible for what happened. You failed as a mother. Mindful attention: Bring your attention to your body and notice how you feel as you write these words. Write down whatever comes to mind. Write the opposite though: Think about changing your perception and phrase it the opposite way. “I did the best I could at the time. I’m not responsible for what happened. I didn’t fail as a mother’. As you write these opposite statements, notice what feeling and emotions arise. Keep writing down how you feel as you connect with these sentences. Finish with writing down your lessons: Look at the bright side of what happened and reflect on personal growth and how you will do better next time. Here is today’s quote: “Beautify your inner dialogue. Beautify your inner world with love, light, and compassion. Life will be beautiful.” Amit Ray And my one question for you is… How often is your negative self-talk disrupting your inner peace? If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:33
October 5, 2020
How to live with intentional joy
Today I had a bunch of errands and plans I wanted to complete. Last night, I set my alarm clock to wake up one hour earlier as I wanted to start my day with a run. Recently I have set the intention to invest more time to pay more attention to joy in my life. I’m intentionally focusing in find more meaningful things every day. Even though our days today look different, we are still busy, and dealing with a lot in everyday life. More than ever it is vital to take time to do the things that bring meaning and value to our life. Setting this joyful intention has helped with finding more mental and physical energy. I have been doing three things to bring more joy daily. I will share with you today how these three simple things have been enriching my life and hope that you can add them to yours. If these actions do not resonate with you, please find other and customize your intentional joy. Three joyful energy boosters: Create more community connections Today, as I went for my run, I came across 20- 25 people. The trail that I went for my run was busy. In my journey, I said good morning to everybody that crosses my path. Usually, I get quite a good number of replies back. But for some reason, today, I only got three. Yes, only three. I was not getting many verbal responses, and it got me thinking if it was worth it. I came to the following conclusion. I still think it was valuable to say good morning to everybody this morning in my run. Even though the number of people who replied was low, I could still connect to three people they replied. Two of them gave two big smiles. I got three community connections, and I connected three times with trust and joyful energy. I also gave the same gift to the people that replied. Maybe even the people that didn’t respond also got a connection. Connecting with Nature Every day I sit outside on my deck, back yard, or porch. Today, I sat on my porch to work on writing some blog posts. As I was sitting, I noticed so many bugs, bees, and unusual insects. Whenever I saw a one, I stopped typing, I observed the insect, followed what it was doing, and admired their beauty. Amazingly, all these were all so beautiful, delicate, and fascinating to watch. Connecting with nature is something that I love to do because It reminds me it is critical to stop, pause, and admire beautiful things. Keeping track of the people that support me Every day I have been intentionally paying attention to the people in my life that support me in the small, routine, or simple things. Daily I notice the person who put the groceries in my car. This person drops off our daily package deliveries, the person who complimented my mask, the person who washed my car, the person who answers the phone at the dentist office, the person who sends me a check for payment for my work, the person who smiled at me and said thank you. When my kids give a hug, and I love you and a thank you. When my husband helps with business and people attend my classes and online programs. I write all of these events in my gratitude journal. They remind me of the goodness in my life. I can now see clearly how each day I get tons of support and help from people. The more I look, the more I find. One quote ― Adrienne Enns“I believe that joy is at the core of my being. I know the joy I seek is already within me. I commit to it with a lightness and ease that evaporates all barriers. I will create joyful moments with every heartbeat.” One question Have you considered setting an intention to connect with more joyful energy in your life? If you would like more information or want to CONNECT with me, visit happymeditator.com.
08:26
September 30, 2020
What to do when you feel powerless
If someone says to you, I feel powerless; you can assume that they feel fear and lack skills to deal with a situation. They have also given control of the problem to someone else or something outside themselves. Feeling powerless in daily life contributes to anxiety, sadness, and loneliness. Dealing with challenges by creating a new perspective can enable someone to find other alternatives. By finding other options, they could also get back their power and confidence. Today I was hoping you could think about a new perspective that I like to use to open my mind and keep it wide open when I feel powerless. This perspective is enabled by questioning what you believe about feeling powerful. What if feeling powerful could be as easy as letting go of your need to be in control? What if you accept things as they are? I understand that these questions can sound contradictory to you. How can the solution to feeling powerless be to let go of control? Whenever difficulty arises in our lives, there are always many alternatives, but our narrow view of problems tends to let us see a limited amount. Most of the time, feeling powerless comes down to a scarcity mindset. Scarcity means that we limit ourselves as we think that we don’t have the resources to deal with the problem. If you don’t have the skills, you can’t find a solution. Right? But what if you question this limiting belief? This limited view of the world comes from our culture. I want you to consider the opposite idea. What if there is not a limit to the number of resources you have? External factors always or mostly are not in our control. Creating a new mentality is required to deal with more resilience and overcome feeling powerless. What if when you feel powerless, you believe that there are always available resources? These resources you already have them.  You have skills, strengths, social connections, and inner resources with you all the time. New mindset: Start with abundance Whenever you are feeling powerless, bring to mind your strengths and inner power. I’m talking about what you are great at, what comes naturally, and accessible to you. Then see how you can adapt to your challenge by using the power of what you have and previous success. Creating a flexible and resilient mentality comes with working with what you have right now in the present. Better thinking comes from being open-minded. Suppose you work with your strengths, and suddenly, that gives you the freedom to stay open-minded. People that stay open-minded have better tools that enable more creativity and confident problem-solving. Please remember fears and challenges are always around.  Some could feel easy to solve, and others could feel unsurpassable. They are all part of living. Understand that you have the power to overcome them all. Consider just taking them one at the time. Right now, think about your past and how many unsurpassable challenges you have been able to overcome. See how far you have become. What looks big right now will seem small in some years down the line. Nothing in life is permanent. Your challenges today will become tomorrow, and new ones will rise. It would help if you to keep moving and evolve by keeping an open mind. Quote: “When you feel alone, unloved, and powerless . . . your emotions are lying to you.” - A.M. Brewster Question When was the last time that you remember feeling powerful? If you would like more information or want to CONNECT with me, visit happymeditator.com.
09:08
September 26, 2020
Do you have a negative thinking addiction?
I never realized that my mind was so stuck in negative thinking until I started a meditation practice. Not until I started paying attention to my thoughts did I noticed this constant negative tendency of my thoughts. This big Aha moment got me curious about exploring how my brain works. Is my brain creating these patterns of negativity? Am I responsible? In my quest to answer this question, I have read many books. I concluded that the answer is both. I am responsible and my brain is also responsible. The negative nature of the human brain The way our brain works creates more attention to things of a negative nature that are positive or neutral. Our brains have a natural tendency to be stuck in negativity because that is how it has evolved to protect us from external dangers. Another big Aha moment was when I found out that the human brain promotes addictive behaviors. My negative thinking has to do some part in how my brain works to protect me and also how I reinforce negative thinking with my actions. Every decision I make every day can lean towards negativity, positivity, or neutrality. The more I chose to pay attention to pessimism or stressful thinking, the more it gets wired in my brain. Whether we like it or not, we are all conditioned to follow our thunking addictions. Most of the time, we are not aware of these addictions’ essential role in our happiness and well-being. We are always looking for what feels right, predictable, and safe. We avoid things that feel scary, unpredictable, dangerous, and too challenging. We even create stories in our minds to sustain these emotions as valid. These feelings and emotions are all determined by how your brain processes information and the stories’ interpretation. Identifying your thinking addictions can give you a new light into your thinking world. It can be so freeing and self-empowering when you catch yourself in them. For me, the most important realization of my thinking addictions is that once I have been able to identify them, they have lost their mental grip. I know now that my thinking patterns are not who I am. They are just a result of how my brain and how it has been following negativity that I learned in my life. Some patterns I created and others I was not aware that I was making them. Most importantly, my thinking addictions don’t have to determine my life. I have the power to reinforce other thoughts that work better for my well being. You also can become aware of your thinking addictions and experience this freedom. Common thinking addictions Today I will share three thinking addictions that I have seen the most in myself and others. What is wrong? This addiction is about being obsessed with what is not working well in your life. This one is all about focusing on what is missing from the picture. It gets obsessed with what needs to change and finding problems all the time. What is the answer or solution? This addiction is about focusing on the things that you need to know. We are more addicted than ever in gathering and collecting information to get an outcome. Our emphasis is on finding a quick solution so we can feel in control. Why is it not perfect? This thinking addiction is the need for perfection and the need to stand out from others. A mistake is a failure. We live such narrow-minded lives that we only see what is in front of us, and if it is not how we want it, we label it as wrong. Write down these thinking addictions and pay attention during this week on your thoughts. If you want to connect with me, visit  https://happymeditator.com/
10:16
September 21, 2020
What no one tells you about getting older
I can't keep track of how many I have recently talked to that have concerns about their aging. People's worries vary, but mostly they all seem to be negative. The constant message that I have been listening to involves expecting things to turn for the worse as you get older. I don't like to tell people my age. Not because I'm embarrassed to admit how old I am. It is because I don't think it matters. Anyone that knows me also knows the It is common to forget how old I am. Recently I was having a conversation with my husband, and he mentioned his age. I asked him, is that how old you are? He replied: Yes! How old do you think I am? I said: I wasn't sure. I don't; think about those things. My lack of attention to my age and my husband's age might sound ridiculous, but it's true. I'm not particularly eager to keep track of how old I am, but I genuinely believe that Is not important. Researcher Ellen Langer created an experiment in which she recruited seniors that were 75 or more years old. Her research explores self-perceptions and the aging process. Langer investigates whether changes in the seniors' mindsets could influence and change the aging process. The seniors experienced a 1-week retreat outside of Milan, Italy. Participants were exposed to situations and lifestyles that they had from twenty years ago. They had to pretend that they were living according to how they felt 20 years ago. The research created scenarios they were likely to encounter in their past. From her research, Langer found that when assessed, the seniors improved their physical health, cognition, psychological, and age appearance. They looked and behaved like their younger selves. Creating a different mindset is everything. Understanding your mindset's power can help you see what areas of your life you are limiting yourself just by the way you think. Your thoughts create brain chemicals that promote health or illness. Creating new brain patterns can change your body's biology. Begin with being aware of your thoughts and the message being them. When you worry too much about your aging, what are the fears behind your thoughts? Consider creating new thoughts, and you will make different brain chemistry. Imagine if someone asks you today to participate in Langer's experiment and told you to pretend to be 20 years younger. How would your day look like then? How will you deal with problems or challenges you are facing. Could you see yourself doing things differently from how you do them today? Imagine and visualize how that world will be like right now.  Here are some suggestions that you want to consider if you feel like you have a pessimistic view of aging. 10 Tips to overcome ageism Ignore what society and our culture says about aging. Watch less news, TV, and media. Stay present when worries about the future arise. Create more social connections and get involved in your community. Repel the idea of retiring and never retire Stay active in whatever way you can at any age. Laugh and stop taking life so seriously. Remove habits that reinforce ageism. Stop telling people your age and asking for people's age. Feed your mind with new ideas and never stop learning. Be careless, and have more fun. Here is today’s quote: "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.”-Mark Twain And my one question for you is… Which one of my tips will help you overcome ageism in your life? If you like this podcast, please subscribe or leave a review. And if you would like more information or want to CONNECT with me, visit happymeditator.com.
08:06
September 17, 2020
How to overcome an old hurtful emotional wound
Suppose I ask you to pretend that you are in an elevator. In this elevator, you are the only person inside. There are three floors. On the first floor, the elevator stops. As the door opens, you see a hurtful event from your past. The doors stay open for a minute; you see the problematic event again and feel emotional pain too. You recognize the place and the person that hurt you. The elevator closes and moves to the next floor. On the second floor, the lever opens again. You can see yourself upset, crying, or maybe angry after dealing with the situation you saw on the first floor. The elevator stays on the floor for one minute and then closes again. Finally, you come to the third floor. As the elevator opens, you see the person that hurt you coming in. Time has passed, and the person has changed and aged. The person comes inside the elevator and takes the journey down with you. You are both quiet, and you feel uncomfortable during the journey. In your heart and your stomach, you feel resentment and your emotional wound. Finally, the elevator opens, and without a word, the person leaves the elevator. At this point, you must be wondering what the end of this exercise is? I just wanted to illustrate what happens inside you when you keep reliving past emotional wounds. Whenever you remember a problematic event that you felt emotionally wounded, you get in the elevator and relive that painful journey of going through the three floors. All those challenging emotions get stirred up with no positive resolve. The more you get in the elevator, the more you keep making the wounds deeper. You will continue to activate the stress response in your body and reinforce negativity. A 2010 research study from the Journal of personality and social psychology found that adverse experiences can promote resilience, but it all depends on how people handle subsequent challenges. Experiencing a disappointment, betrayal, or abuse in your childhood does not mean you have to live a life sentence of suffering. Finding ways to cope that promote courage and wisdom from your misfortune can encourage growth in your life. Not only will you be wiser to deal with similar situations in the future, but you will also be able to appreciate more goodness and positive when you experience them. It would help if you stopped getting on the elevator for your emotional and physical well-being. Overcoming adversity from the past will help you increase your happiness and life satisfaction. Think about it as an incentive to become more resilient. You can reduce your elevators’ journeys dramatically if you begin resolving your past grudges and differences. Think about one person that you have a grievance with right now. Pick a person that today you wouldn’t want to get in the elevator because it will stir your wounds. Think about a way that you resolve your differences and take action. Is it talking to the person or writing an email or a letter? If you don’t feel safe or comfortable contacting the person or don’t have, so can you do a forgiveness practice and let go of the past? Continuing keeping this grudge in your heart accumulates in your heart and becomes a burden. If you are ready to let go of the emotional wound, here are some steps you could take to begin your healing: 1. Connect with the present moment 2. Get in the elevator 3. Bring compassion 4. Say goodbye If you like this podcast, please subscribe or leave a review. And if you would like more information or want to CONNECT with me, visit happymeditator.com.
10:06
September 15, 2020
A mindful way to open your heart
When we think of opening our hearts, we associate it with an opening to trust. Using the expression, I opened my heart involves feeling safe about the person I’m opening to. I’m trusting my heart to someone else and accepting the implications that it could bring. Usually, when we open our hearts to somebody, we are hoping for support and reciprocity. Many people can experience this or the total opposite. So many things can happen that might not match our expectations. When you love someone, you can experience all sorts of disappointments. It is common for people to feel disappointed when love is reciprocated. Feeling betrayed, hurt, and wounded by somebody that we care about, can be a challenging situation to be. Keeping all those emotions inside and not letting go of them can keep us unhappy, angry, and hopeless. In Buddhism, there is a meditation practice that can help with emotional suffering. This practice is called Tonglen. In this meditation, you use your breath as a mindful tool to release your emotions. When you breathe in your suffering, and you breathe out love and compassion. I have created my simple version of the practice and have added other elements that work for me. Today I will share a simple and mindful way with you that you can begin to practice open heart meditation. Connect with a recent memory of a situation of disappointment. Find an old memory of someone you love, making you feel angry, sad, or unhappy. Pick an event that is not traumatic or that has a deep painful wound. Start with an easy problem to begin to introduce yourself to this open heart practice. Visualize yourself in the moment of suffering. Feel the sensations that arise. Notice your emotions and feelings. Bring your attention to your breath. Notice the inhalation and exhalation. Visualize your breath starting from the heart. As you breathe in, connect with your suffering. Notice your exhalation. As you breathe out, visualize light coming out, go your heart. This light symbolizes love and compassion. Keep repeating: Breathing in your suffering and breath out a beautiful light that brings love and compassion. One quote Yong Kang Chan“Your pain needs to be recognized and acknowledged. It needs to be acknowledged and then released. Avoiding pain is the same as denying it.” One question How do you feel about beginning today a journey of healing your heart? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:18
September 10, 2020
Do you have an inner dialogue?
Our brain has a strong tendency to get in a negative default state. Brain research keeps finding that this default mental state that ignores the present moment creates stress, unnecessary fear, and worries. The more time you spend focusing in the past or the future, the more your brain reinforces negativity. People who suffer from anxiety and depressive disorders tend to spend more hours in this mental state Maybe you have been thinking about making changes in your life to improve your well-being, but you feel it is difficult. Perhaps you have intentions to begin a new healthy habit, but your inner dialogue takes over and stops you. Maybe you are tired of being stuck in your past and the future. Like you, I had all these scenarios in my life at different times. I can relate to you with how my internal dialogue stopped me from moving forward. Looking to change my inner dialogue is what meditation is all about. When I began meditating years ago, I felt exhausted and didn’t realize that my thoughts were the most crucial factor that created my exhaustion. Meditation opened my eyes to realize how my thoughts and mind were stuck most of the time in the default state. When I sit every day to meditate, I’m training my mind to find an alternative mode. Meditation focuses my attention on the present moment. Before meditation, my attention was all over the place. Changing my internal dialogue was, and is still critical for me to stay mentally balanced. Reducing stress and worry is all about your inner dialogue. Anxious thoughts and fear are not created by what happens to you or by any external factor. Stress begins in your thoughts and gets fueled by your thinking. Internal dialogue promotes deeper stages of anxiety, depression, and other unbalanced mental states. If you want to change your inner dialogue, you have consistently train your mind to do so. To focus on an alternative mode, you need to prepare your attention to focus in the present moment. If you let your mind govern your thinking, you will continue to get stuck in always trying to solve problems that don’t exist, it will continue to focus on what is wrong, and it will persist in influencing you in giving more importance to the future. As a result, you will stay trapped in a never-ending cycle of stress. Mind Training After six weeks of meditation training, researchers found that the brain changes. People’s brains were examined, and they found that their brains had less activity on the default state, only with 6 weeks of meditation practice. If you have a meditation practice, please continue it. Stay consistent and practice daily. Taking time every day to meditate is more critical than the length of your practice. If you don’t meditate every day, please begging today. I want to give another tip that I have found very helpful in my life. This tip I use every day, and I encourage the people I work with and do my programs to do. My recommendation is to bring curiosity to what is happening in your mind. Bring curiosity During your day, take pauses to pay attention to your mind. Stop what you are doing and listen to your internal dialogue. Bring your focus to your mind and see where your thoughts are. Is your inner dialogue in the past? Or is your inner dialogue in the future? This simple tip will help you increase self-awareness. The more your pay attention, the more you will notice your default state. By detecting, you will also see that the power to disrupt your negative dialogue is within you. You can redirect your thoughts to the present moment. The present is where you create mental balance. One quote “Solitude will teach you how to navigate your inner dialogue. In the space of silence, you hear clearly, the voice of your own soul” -Jay Dee Mah One question What is your inner dialogue saying to you right now? 
10:07
September 8, 2020
How to live mindfully happy today
We are all guilty of spending too much of our time and mental energy prioritizing the future. Our mind and our thoughts tend to gravitate more towards thinking, what is coming up next? Planning and trying to predict what problems we might confront in the future continually is an energy drainer. We tend not to value our mental energy as much as our physical energy. Our brain and our thinking use most of the energy that our bodies produce. Our mental processes also require energy and that we pay attention to how we spend our thinking time. Our mental energy can get drained quicker if we get stuck in worries, fears, and stress frequently. On the other hand, if we spend more time in mindfulness practices, not only we don’t drain our energy resource, we restore them. Mindfulness and cultivating a mind that stays in the present moment are valuable tools for happiness and vitality. The more we connect with mindfulness pillars like compassion, love, kindness, and gratitude, the more alive, positive, and happy we will feel about our lives. If you want to profoundly influence your happiness, and build long term resources to sustain a happy life, pay attention to your mindfulness. Savor your positive experiences every day. Do not let goodness pass you by without acknowledging it. Savor your food, your water, your house, your relationships, your money, your time, and everything else. Take time to focus on all the things that are working for you today. Engage with people with kindness and compassion. Invest time in creating positive relationships with those around you. If you speak or act, do it with kind words. At times that you do not feel compassion and judgments about others arise, take a pause. Let go of judgments before you act. If you can’t let go, chose to be quiet, and do not react. It’s easier to let go of situations if you stay present and forget about the past or future. Give love and affection whenever there is a chance. Once you begin putting more emphasis on increasing attachment, you will find more opportunities and moments to be loving. Love is about words, hugs, kisses, and acts that show how you care. Extend appreciation to those close to you and any living thing around you. Whenever you feel bored instead of reaching for something to distract you, reach for a hand or a face. Hug or kiss somebody. Send a loving and caring message to someone and let them know you are there. One quote Albert Einstein“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” One question How are you going to widen your circle of love, kindness, and gratitude in your life? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:53
September 4, 2020
Unhook from repetitive worry
If you find yourself frequently replaying a stressful thought, you will begin to build a brain connection. The more you visit and keep revisiting the thought, the stronger the links get. Most of the time, our stressful thoughts come from worries and fears. Our mind begins to predict things going against our wishes and desires. I can assure you that most things will never happen, but knowing this is not enough to stop you from breaking the habit. My mind, the same as yours, tends to value worries as something useful. In reality, worries only build stress and negativity. When you obsessively worry about something that you can’t change or have any control off, what is the point? Getting unhooked from our stressful thoughts is hard is we try to do it with our minds. If you repeat yourself, stop worrying! You can quickly get tired of the repetition and not find any positive outcome. Instead, if you use your body, it will be more productive. I’m referring to connecting with your five senses and your body to break the repetitive stressful thinking is a handy tool to stop this type of thinking. If you want to give to try a mindfulness tool to stop your stressful thought, go ahead, and practice this exercise. I recommend that you do this exercise every day for 5 minutes if you feel that your day’s worries are overwhelming. Unhook your mind from stress 1. Look at your right hand for a few seconds. Observe your hand, fingers, skin, and any detail that you can see. Keep your focus a little longer on your hand. 2. Then hide your hand behind or close your eyes. Keep your hand away from your sight. Bring your attention to your hand and notice the sensations. Keep your focus on sensing your hand for a little longer. 3. Move your attention to your hearing. Bring your focus to the sounds around you. Shift your attention whenever you sense a sound and move your focus to that sound. Continue doing this for a little longer. Throughout this exercise, you move your attention through the sense of sight, touch, and sound. Practice this to unhook the mind and ground your attention on your body. By doing this shift on focus from stressful thinking to sensing the body, you are unhooking the brain from stress. Your attention can easily be trained to make this mind shift quickly. The more you practice, the easier it will be for you to unhook. Stay consistent, and always be kind to yourself. One quote Osho“Don’t try to force anything. Let life be a deep let-go.” One question Which stressful thought you can begin to let go? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:13
September 2, 2020
Why I can't focus on relaxing when I meditate
Most people begin a meditation practice having a set goal that they want to accomplish. It is common for people to get interested in starting to meditate because they feel the need to reduce stress and want more peace of mind. They want to learn to relax because they struggle to find calmness in their life. Maybe you can identify with this. Perhaps you are starting or even practicing meditation because you want more relaxation in your life. I want to relax now! When I began to meditate, I had this craving myself. I was feeling stressed and lacking focus on my life. I wanted to let go of stress and feel calmer and centered. I began meditating, expecting to find relaxation. Soon I realized that relaxation was not present all the time. I even began to notice that the practice was sometimes not relaxing at all. My mind was wandering most of the time. Realizing that my attention was traveling to worries and planning frequently was discouraging. My wandering mind Noticing all this mind-wandering didn’t meet my expectations of relaxation. Eventually, my perceptions began to change the more I sat to practice. The more consistent I stayed with my meditation, the less I got bothered about the mind wandering. Some days I felt more distracted and less focused than others. With my daily practice, I began to understand that having a hectic day, made my distractions more frequent in my meditation. There was more internal distraction, the busier my plans for the day were. Let it go Eventually, I was able to find relaxation with my wandering mind. I was able to let go of my distractions, worries, and plans when they arise and come back to my breath. Some days I was able to let go quicker than others, but it didn’t matter. Once I was able to be ok with whatever my mind was trying to distract me with, I began to practice with more ease. Finally, I concluded that my meditation practice was not about finding relaxation. It was about learning to let go of my distractions and figuring out that I can always find my center. It was about me understanding my mind and accepting the mind wandering. No more goals Relaxation is not my goal anymore. I don’t set goals of expecting things to happen in my practice. The only thing I do is to sit in my meditation and practice letting go. Letting go of expectations, letting go of distractions, letting go of plans, and letting go of worries. I repeat this multiple times in each practice. Sometimes it feels like the only thing I’m doing is letting go over and over again. And that is ok. That is what mindfulness meditation is all about. Hello mind, how are you? Getting to know my mind is what matters the most in meditation. The intention is not to chase stress, worries, and plans away. In meditation, we take time to acknowledge their presence and carry on. When you sit to meditate, become the witness of your mind. Observe your thoughts, sensations, and feelings. As they come up, notice them and let them go. They will come over and over again. You stay equanimous, and you keep letting them go over and over again. One quote Thich That Hanh“A dispersed mind is also a part of the mind. Just as waves rippling in water are also part of the water.” One question How easy or difficult is it for you to accept your wandering mind? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
09:21
August 31, 2020
One way to stop the fear influencers
Our brain acts like velcro to negative news. This happens without us having to take an active part in this mental process. Our brains are wired to pay attention to thongs that could be considered a threat to our survival. The media knows this very well. When they create and chose the news that they publish and broadcast, they use it to their advantage. They want us to believe that the information they provide us is meaningful and useful for our survival. The more we get sucked into following the media and the news, the more unsafe, stressed, and anxious we feel. But why do we do it? Because we hold the belief that we can prevent and control our world. We like to believe that the more information we have about our fears, the better we will be prepared to confront them. If this belief was right, we could prevent all our physical and mental pain by researching. I want to invite you today to question your beliefs about the reason why you watch the news. Right now, ask your self, why do I watch the news? Before writing this post/episode, I searched Google the top three news in Seattle today. The three articles that showed up were about restaurants closing down, people losing jobs, and the apartment construction market slowing down. All the news headlines pick on our worse fears: bankruptcy, job loss, and lack of a place to live. If someone said to you right now. You will go bankrupt tomorrow, your husband is going to lose his job, and you won’t have a home to live in. How will you feel? As I type these words, I can feel my body getting tense. For me, and maybe for you, just thinking about this scenario could easily trigger cortisol and stress in your body. The fear of being in this situation can really dig deep into the things that worry the most in our lives, not being safe and not meeting our vital basic needs. Is it a coincidence that these three articles connect with my fears and your fears so easily? The more we spend listening to the news, we are not building more knowledge to deal with future problems. We are simply being manipulated by the media to pay attention to all the junk they want to feed into our brains to keep us hooked to their screens. The media needs us in front of the screen to make us watch advertisements that will end up building more fear. We are getting trapped in a vicious cycle of worry and endless catastrophes. In the end, we know, and history has proven that most of these negative headlines and their forecasting will never happen to us. -Headlines: the language of fear An Australian psychologist, Cindy Gallois, looked into what sort of language ABC News used on their headlines for 20 days during May 2020. The 1354 headlines mentioned the COVID pandemic 1060. The words they use to describe the pandemic the words “dire” and “catastrophic.” Gallois found that even though they were some positive headlines, most were tarnished with more negative language. This catastrophic world view has played in the media now with our current pandemic, but it is not exclusive to what is going on today. All these fearful words and emotional manipulation are disturbing to me. Today I want to invite you to question the media. Pay attention to the time you spent reading listening and watching this psychological manipulation. Take a break and stop watching the news. Join me today in a simple exercise and have a Media Diet for just three days. Don’t watch the news, don’t check the headlines on google, unsubscribe from any sources that spread negative news. Stop checking any social media, do not listen to the radio, and avoid reading the magazines while waiting in line at the grocery store. Have three days of no media.  Happymeditator.com 
09:47
August 29, 2020
Savasana: 3 simple steps to achieve complete relaxation
Six years ago I started a daily commitment to yoga. Now as a qualified yoga teacher, I still love to attend yoga classes as a student. Whenever I attend a yoga class, I'm always excited about Savasana. It doesn't matter what type of class it is or who is the teacher, Yoga always finishes with the same pose. Five years ago one of my yoga teachers emphasized that Savasana is the most important pose of all. How wonderful is that? The pose that requires you to stay still and do nothing. There is no twisting or balancing and I agree that is the most important one. Savasana is all about relaxation. When you are in this pose, everything around you comes to a full stop. It's like all the senses, and the body was on high alert in the class, and Savasana brings then to the balance. Today I want to recommend you do these three steps.  I have been using these steps as my relaxation guide to my Savasana. These simple tips will help you through achieving complete yogic relaxation. 1. Physical relaxation Start with lying on your back and take three slow even breaths. With each breath feel your body sinking downward pulled by gravity. Then scan your body and relax any body tension. You can say to yourself, "Relax". You can start with your feet, sense your feet, and say mentally,  "Relax." Then go up through your body, ankles, legs, knees, hips, back, pelvis, chest shoulders, arms, elbows, wrist, neck, head, face. 2. Mental relaxation Once you finish relaxing the whole body, then place your awareness in your breath. Feel how your breath starts at your nostrils and moves through your body. Pay attention to the length of your breath and melt into it. If your mind wanders, don't get frustrated. Just come back to your breathing. Continue to observe the flow of air moving in and out. You will focus on your exhalation to become calmer. 3. Visualize a peaceful place Lastly, visualize a relaxing place. Think about something that is calming to you. A beautiful meadow, a quiet lake or beach. Picture how things slow down in this place and how the environment is relaxed. Imagine yourself resting and enjoying the calmness. Continue your gentle breathing while you feel the peace. To come out of the pose, move your body slowly.  Sit in a comfortable position. If possible, try to keep your eyes closed. Spent a minute seated and continue gently breathing. Just sit still until your body feels awake and let your eyes decide when to open. Enjoy your yogic relaxation and savor it as long as possible. One quote "Savasana is being without was, being without will be. It is being without anyone who is." B.K.S. Iyengar One question for you Are you ready to take your Savasana to the next level? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:42
August 15, 2020
3 Tibetan Secrets to boost your energy in minutes
A few years ago I watched this beautiful documentary called Lazy Lama.  This documentary shows a group of western students that decide to go on a Buddhist retreat. The retreat is for three years, three months, and three days. This documentary sparked some curiosity about Tibetan meditation. I started doing some research and found this instructional video on Tibetan energy yoga.  In this video, I learned breathing practices from old Buddhist meditation practices and yoga influences. The first time I completed these exercises I couldn't believe the energy boost I experienced. I was relaxed, positive, and joyful. My brain was alert, and my body was ready to go. The breathing exercises are simple, and anyone can do it. In Buddhism, the right side of our body is represented by the sun and is our masculine energy. On the left side, you locate the moon which represents our feminine energy. The breathing today exercises are done to balance these two major energy forces in your body. When you are balanced, the whole energy in our body creates a healthy energy flow. That balance is what the Buddhist called the union of the sun and the moon. Basic principles 1. Locate your balance point: Find a comfortable area to sit on the floor cross-legged. Start with swaying your body side to side gently until you feel the center of your body and ground your seating bones in that spot. 2. Three basic stages in all the breathing exercises- Filling(inhale), holding( hold breath), and release( let the breath out) In all of the exercises you will go through these three stages. Tibetan Energy Exercises to Boost Your Energy 1.Basic breathing Inhale deep, hold the breath for 5-10 seconds, and release the breath with energy through your mouth open. Practice basic breathing for at least three times. Increasing the hold time if possible. 2. Bum -Chen or potbelly stove breath You start this exercise seated and make two fists with your hands. Deep inhale from your lower belly and extend in an exaggerated way the belly out. Put both fists under the belly and hold the breath for a few seconds and then release the breath with an exhale that feels that is coming out through every pore of your body. At the same time, you exhale open your fist and release the fingers. 3. Threefold or sky breath Take one big deep inhale, hold the breath and release the breath while chanting loudly " Aaaaaaaaa!!! When you exhale, open your mouth wide, open your eyes, ears, heart, your hands, open all of you! If you want to boost your energy in minutes, give any of these Tibetan breathing techniques a try. Here is today’s quote: “Breath by breath, let go of fear, expectation, anger, regret, cravings, frustration, fatigue. Let go of the need for approval. Let go of old judgments and opinions. Die to all that, and fly free. -Lama Surya Das And my one question for you is… How do you raise your positive energy every day? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. Visit my website happmeditator.com/
09:28
August 13, 2020
4 Meditation Myths You Should Stop Believing
Myth 1: You have to focus and stop thinking When we meditate, we progressively slow down our thinking process. But that doesn’t mean we have to stop thinking. It’s normal that during meditation, you’ll experience thoughts, memories, and distractions. It’s just part of the process. These thoughts are just ‘passing through’, so don’t judge or feel frustrated. Just acknowledge them and let them pass as if you were watching passing clouds. Then go back to focusing on your breathing. Myth 2: You won’t see any benefits for years It doesn’t have to take years for you to experience the benefits of meditation. Many people start to see benefits in a matter of weeks. A study showed that meditation can start to change your brain (for the better) in as little as 11 hours of practice. But to see these benefits, you have to meditate every day. Start by keeping things simple. Take small steps and build up gradually. Start by meditating for 5 minutes and build up slowly from there. Myth 3: You have to sit cross-legged on the floor. There are no right or wrong positions for meditation. We often have images of people sitting cross-legged on the floor as they meditate. But you can sit or lay down in any comfortable relaxed position. You can meditate sitting in a chair, on a comfy sofa, on a meditation cushion, or even on a yoga block. Try them out, experiment, and see what works best for you. Whatever position you choose, just make sure that feels comfortable and you have good spinal support. Myth 4: It’s only working when you feel a dream-like state of bliss and relaxation You’ll have good days and bad days when you meditate. Sometimes you might feel a total state of bliss and relaxation. On other days, your head might be full of distractions. You can’t suppress your thoughts during meditation. Your mind likes to go into ‘autopilot thinking’ mode all the time. If you resist your thoughts during meditation, you’ll create tension and it will be harder for you to relax. So just acknowledge your thoughts and let them pass. But most importantly, keep showing up and meditating every day. Here is today’s quote: Meditation connects you with your soul, and this connection gives you access to your intuition, your heartfelt desires, your integrity, and the inspiration to create a life you love. – Sarah McLean And my one question for you is… Have you practiced meditation today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:42
August 11, 2020
Hack your brain with small doses of mindfulness
Recently I have added short mindfulness practices in my day to stay connected to the present moment. I am doing these practices to hack my brain. Our brain learns better if we split things into smaller pieces. Doing short mindfulness practices that are short and repetitive could be extremely powerful to reduce daily stress and stay calmer. In the past three months, I started a new short breathing practice. I set up five daily alerts, and I do one-two minutes of slow breathing each time. Repeating a simple exercise has been an excellent help for resetting my mind from worry and stress in these uncertain times. Why does it work? It’s super simple Spaced out small doses of mindfulness is manageable. I can do the breathing practice seated at my desk while driving, walking, reading, and gardening when I’m waiting at the grocery store, washing my hands, or filling up the gas tank. I don’t have to remember to do it It is great not having to rely on me remembering to do it. If I had to remember five times a day to do something, I’m more likely to forget doing it. Because I’m setting reminders, I simply do it when I get the reminder, and that is it. Repetition is a brain hack Our brain likes to strengthen memories that are frequent and regular. It wants to store this information because it considers it as necessary. After all, you are spending time in daily repetition, so it must be important. The more you revisit the breathing practice, the more the brain pays attention to it. Strengthens brain connections Your brain is like a muscle; the more you stay consistent, the more it strengthens the connections between the nerve cells. Spacing out the breathing practices in the day makes more connections, and the brain puts the information in the long term memory. And that is essential for creating durable retention of knowledge. Here is today’s quote: “Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Let your body relax, and your heart soften.” ― Jack Kornfield Are you willing to give this mindful practice a go? --- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:03
August 8, 2020
How to train a wandering mind
Feeling scattered and distracted is a new normal. Having attention concerns seems to be a complaint about many. We are all living in a world full of distractions. Our phones, computers are devices are with us all the time. Too much stimulation and information. Our brains are struggling to cope. For most of our day, our mind is wandering somewhere else. Our brain is wandering around 50-60% of the time. Feeling scattered is not good a thing. If you want to stop it, there is something you can do. Train your mind to focus. Meditation is a scientifically proven technique to improve brain functioning. You can learn to stay centered and present. All it takes is a daily meditation practice. You just have to commit to it. Here is today’s quote: “Meditation is intermittent fasting for the mind. Too much sugar leads to a heavy body, and too many distractions lead to a heavy mind. Time spent in meditation resolves the unresolved and takes us from mentally fat to fit.” —Naval Ravikant And my one question for you is… How do you cope with a distracted mind? --- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
05:31
August 6, 2020
Overcome a challenge using the power of others
In the book The upside to stress, Dr. Kelly Mc Gonigal reports that when we do better at overcoming challenges when we focus on doing for others or for improving our world. When we focus on dealing with a problem based on our benefit, we are not as successful as when we act based on helping other people. Creating a goal that is about making the world a better place seems to be more meaningful, and we tend to carry through our conviction to accomplishing more sustainably. Can I apply this to my life? Yes, that is the great thing about this finding. So consider a stressful situation that you have been trying to overcome by focusing on how you will benefit from the result. Then, take that situation and focus on improving the lives of others or your community or the greater good. You can apply this to everyday day problems, but it can also work for more difficult challenges. One example could be a goal, like losing weight. Maybe you have been trying to do something about it based on improving your health, and it hasn’t worked. Then reset the goal focusing it in your family. Think about not looking after your health and the negative impact that it could have on your family, your relationships, your pets, and your work. You can also think about other goals, like reducing your anger and irritability. You don’t want to keep being the angry person who loses quickly their temper all the time. Reframe your goal and think about your family, your love life, your neighborhood, and your world. Think about the world having one less angry person around that brings stress and anxiety to others. Identify what matters in your life. Take a close look at your values and what are the things that you want to invest your time that can help others, your community, and the world. Use your values as the vital force that will give you energy, self-control, and stamina to embrace challenges and overcome them. Imagine yourself changing the world around you. Imagine being significant changes that benefit others because you decided to act based on your values and what is meaningful to you. Here is today’s quote: If you change yourself you will change your world. -Gandhi And my one question for you is… Which challenge do you want to overcome by using the power of others? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:33
August 4, 2020
How and what to write in your gratitude journal
Gratitude is a pillar to build a happy resilient life. I recommend to everybody to have a consistent gratitude practice. There is so much research to validate that you can transform your life with gratitude. I have seen the benefits in my life and in my clients. One of the easiest ways to start is to do a gratitude journal. How to do it? Pen and paper is the best It has been proven that writing with pen and paper is more beneficial than doing it electronically. So get a notebook, pen and begin. Do it every day If you do it once or twice a week, is better than nothing. If you can commit to doing it every day it has proven that you will enhance the positive effects. Consistency is important to get more out of your journaling. Add it to your routine Pick a time that you can stick to every day. Think about your daily routine and fit in in a block of time that feels natural and easy for you. I’ve found that people that journal after a daily task are most successful. Like doing it after your morning coffee or before going to sleep. There are multiples ways and things that you can write in your gratitude journal. It can also be a tool to enhance more positive emotions and enrich your life. Here are some of my favorite tips to squeeze out the most benefit from your journal. Set a calm ambiance Think about doing it in a place that is relaxing and calm. You can even make it cozy with a candle, dim lights, a cup of herbal tea, a cozy blanket, a nice notebook, and a special pen. None of these things are required but they can help you build a gratitude ritual and more mindful experience. Begin with a smile Before you start writing close your eyes and smile. Hold your smile for a few seconds or longer. It will relax your mind, face, and body. It will send a message to your brain of safety and that you are are doing enjoyable. Start writing You can make the practice short and simply write the things that can come to mind that went well in your day. Positive activities, to-do list completions, good news, good weather, and things that made you smile today. It has been proven that You only need to write three things that you are grateful for to experience the benefits. Enrich the journaling These are additional things that you can add to your practice. You can do these things daily or when you have extra time. Visualization You can close our eyes and visualize yourself experiencing the things that you are grateful for. Imagine yourself with your husband when you went out together and you were laughing. Remember the time when your children came home running towards you to hug you. This will enhance positive emotions and create a deeper experience. Multisensory experiences Journal about things that you can experience with your five senses. Think about going to the park and journal about the weather, the sky, sounds, smells, and things your touch or felt on your skin.  Here is today’s quote: “It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.” ― Brother David Steindl-Rast And my one question for you is… What is the person that you are most grateful for in your life? Write down why you are so grateful to that person. ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
09:32
July 31, 2020
Social anxiety: Do you find it hard to trust people?
Starting all your social connections from mistrust can make your life very challenging. You could be limiting your life and happiness because you are afraid most of the time. You might even go into an overprotective mode in which you isolate yourself from other people because you don’t want to get hurt. There is a hormone in our body called oxytocin. This hormone is very important because it’s triggered in our body when we feel safe. When you feel stressed and afraid you trigger cortisol.  The more cortisol you trigger the more you inhibit oxytocin. Building more trust starts with reducing cortisol and doing more things that trigger more oxytocin in your body. You could start with one simple strategy, build more social connections This could as simple as building more trust when you have a casual conversation with people. Follow these simple steps to build more oxytocin when meeting another person. Step 1 Pick a person Before you put the steps into practice find a person that you are going to start practicing with. This could be an acquaintance that you don’t very well but you don’t find yourself uncomfortable with that person. Don’t start with a difficult person. You want to gradually start with someone you have a better chance to have a good response so you don’t get too stressed and trigger cortisol. Step 2 Posture Stand up straight, relax your shoulders, hands are open and relaxed. No hand gripping or fists. You standing and facing the person. You look at their face. If you can, please look at them in the eyes. If this is too uncomfortable for you, look at them in between their eyes and focus you gazed there. Work yourself gradually to always make eye contact. Step 3 Ice-breaker Think about a simple topic that you can easily start a conversation with. Things like the weather or the temperature in the room. Simply engage in a dialogue about something that feels easy for you and the other person to talk about. Step 4 Smile While you are talking to the person. Acknowledge what the other person is saying by nodding your head, keep eye contact and smile. It will help you relax and send a message to your brain that you are safe. Step 5 Practice Keep doing these simple steps consistently. Look for opportunities to start conversations with strangers at the grocery store, an office or where ever you go. The more you keep repeating the steps the more trust you build and the more you will start to trigger oxytocin. Here is today’s quote: “Oxytocin promotes warmth, social bonding, and trust.” -Robert M. Sapolsky And my one question for you is… What can you start doing today to build more trust in others? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:03
July 29, 2020
Happiness is not about the absence of problems
We are all deeply invested in our happiness. We all care about the happiness of those we love. If you are like me and you want to be happy for good, you better get right what real happiness is. I used to believe that in order for me to be happy, my life had to be easier. I don’t know from where I developed this ridiculous idea that I could not be happy until my problems where over. I was mostly unhappy and feeling stuck. I was waiting for a great solution that was going to make things perfect for me. My happiness was conditioned to waiting for people to change. I was expecting that my life circumstances had to be different so I could stay happy. That was the past. Now I have a new mindset. A new definition of happiness. My new perspectives: 1. Happiness is about me My happiness is not about external factors. I learned that to stay happy I have to focus on a different perspective. I’m the only one in control of my happiness. 2. Happiness is about positive relationships Being happy is finding and doing meaningful work. Making a positive impact in the lives of others. Creating moments to nurture love and affection. Making more loving connections. 3. Happiness is about finding gratitude in everything My happiness now is about valuing what I have. Paying attention to the goodness and gifts. It is about learning from the negative and turning it into a positive. Creating a deep sense of well-being. 4. Happiness is found in the present moment My problems, worries, and challenges are still here and I’m happy. I have learned to make peace with them and stop resisting. 5. Happiness is about embracing imperfections My life is not perfect and it will never be. I’m imperfect and that is ok. Others don’t need to change. My circumstances don’t need to be different. I have decided to embrace life as is. Here is today’s quote: “You don’t always need a particular reason to be happy and in such moments of happiness you meet the real happiness!” ― Mehmet Murat Ildan And my one question for you is… What is your definition of happiness? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:04
July 27, 2020
How to create more happiness and joy in your life
Researchers are finding that people who prioritize happiness, have less depressive symptoms, and fewer negative emotions. This is not about trying to be positive and joyful all the time. That can actually backfire. If you are always trying to be positive and optimistic you tend to get exhausted and more frustrated. As a result, you tend to feel more down and unhappy. Prioritizing happiness is about allocating time to fully enjoy an activity. See it as a time to charge up your happy energy so it will last longer. The goal is to focus on maximizing and making the most out of the experience. How to maximize your happiness 1. Schedule happy times Allocate a day that you are going to invest in creating more joyful activities. Depending on the activities this could take from 2-3 hours or half a day. The chances of you completing the maximizing happiness exercise increases if you schedule it in your calendar. 2. Find three positive activities Write down in your calendar three activities that you enjoy doing and that you want to do more. -Alone happy time For the first activity chose something that you enjoy doing on your own. This is just for you. Pick something you love doing and make you feel positive and energized. -Together happy time For the second activity think about connecting with a positive relationship. Pick an activity that you can do with someone else. Contact the person and schedule it. -Meaningful happy time For the third activity select something that is meaningful to you. Think about connecting with your values and building more hope about your future and the world. 3. Journaling The final step to maximizing your joy and build more optimism is to reconnect with the positive memories you created. On the same day, write down how was your experience with the three activities. Reflect on how it went and what you learned from the whole exercise. Here is today’s quote: Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.” – Roy T. Bennett And my one question for you is… What positive and joyful activities do you want to spend more time doing? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:46
July 24, 2020
How to reduce stress by doing nothing.
I know how it feels to live a stressful life. I understand how life can feel overwhelming, mindless, and scattered—living with high levels of stress is not favorable for your health, happiness, and life satisfaction. To reduce stress, you can begin with simple steps that are easy and effective. It does not have to be complicated or stressful. But first, you must commit to prioritizing your happiness, health, and your overall wellbeing. Deciding to take control of your stress must be backed up with a genuine and consistent intention that you bring to all your actions and daily priorities. It also involves consistency and paying attention to your inactions. Actions are about what you choose to do, and the inactions are equally important because there are things that you will need to stop doing to reduce your stress. Here a list of proven inactions that you can begin to consider to reduce your daily stress. 1. Do nothing about harmless imperfections Every day we spent a lot of time looking to perfect things. A lot of the times, it involves waisting time in trivial things that don’t contribute to our well being and increase our stress. Forget about things, always having to be the way you want them. Think about your daily routine; things like your cooking, hair, outfits, cleanliness, or planing things following a strict schedule. Let go on all the non-sense stress of nitpicking and relax about your perfectionist. 2. Spend time doing nothing Take a one hour or less if an hour seems too long to start with and do nothing. Sit on a chair and look at the window or got to the park and look at nature. Don’t read, don’t look at your phone or computer, don’t call a friend, don’t listen to an audiobook or music. Spend time letting your mind go wild and enjoy doing nothing. 3. Say no to people A lot of the time, we struggle to prioritize our needs. We do things that we know that we don’t have time for or don’t want to do, or we feel like they are a waste of our time. Even though we don’t want to say yes, we still say yes. It could be guilt or pride. Maybe you want to impress someone and feel if you say no, it will be a sign of weakness. Perhaps you could be so used to stress that you think that being busy is right for you. Next time someone asks you to do something before you respond, say instead:” I’m going to think about it, and I’ll let you know. “or “I’ll come back to you on that one.” It is critical to remove yourself from the situation and then decide if you want to say yes or no. Think about your happiness and wellbeing first and see if agreeing will help you and your commitment to reducing stress in your life. If the answer is “No,” say, “No.” Here is today’s quote: "We must say “no” to treating ourselves, our health, our needs as not as important as someone else’s. We must say, “no.” -Suzette R. Hinton And my one question for you is… Which inaction are you willing to start practicing today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:10
July 22, 2020
How to create more mindful happy relationships
Our close relationships contribute immensely to how positive and happy we feel about our lives. Since I started my journey into a mindful and more joyful life, I realized the importance of investing in my relationships. I call it an investment because when I take time to nurture my relationships, I’m contributing to my emotional and psychological wealth. My wellbeing is connected to the quality and strength of my personal and social connections. Investing in transforming a good relationship into a great one goes beyond just the connection. Secure relationships help with resilience, confidence, emotional regulation, and overcoming mental problems. Today I want to move you to look closely at your significant relationships and dive deeply into making them more supportive and healthier. Here are three simple tips that you can start today to bring more happiness and resilience to your life by investing in your relationships. Become a fantastic listener Stop trying to solve, change, and find solutions when your significant other is sharing something with you. Hold your tongue and control yourself when it comes to sharing your opinions about everything. Listen with a sense of curiosity and not with the intention of replying. Be patient Only respond when you know the other person wants you to respond. Hold on to sharing any feedback or solution until the other person asks you for them. Limit your response to the specific situation that the person is sharing with you at the moment. Do not bring criticism and judgments from the past into the conversation. Focus on the here and now. Mindful and kind attention If you have a hard time keeping your mouth shut or feel emotional and reactive, stop yourself from talking. Bring mindfulness and breathe as you listen. You can bring your attention to your inhalation and exhalation as you keep listening. Ensure that you are calm before you reply to your significant other. Always try to speak from a mind that feels calm, kind, and supportive. Do not talk from past judgment and criticism. Here is today’s quote: “Listen with curiosity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.” ― Roy T. Bennett And my one question for you is… What are you going to do to create happier and healthier relationships? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:58
July 21, 2020
Why do I feel tired when I meditate?
I have a good friend that is hesitant to start a meditation practice. She does not want to commit to a daily meditation due to feeling tired and sleepy. In the past, She attended meditation classes at a yoga studio, and she always falls asleep. Recently My friend said to me: "What is the point of meditating if I am going to fall asleep?" Today I want to address the issue of feeling tired in meditation. I know that my friend is not alone in this situation. Falling asleep when you are meditating is a common situation that happens to many people. Why do we feel tired when I meditate? Let me start by clarifying that meditation does not make people tired. When you sit in meditation, you are slowing down, which allows you to realize how tired you are. The meditation didn’t create the tiredness. You were already tired, and just you didn’t know it. Sleep deprivation Many people are sleep deprived, and when they sit to meditate, their lack of sleep begins to show as feeling tired. You are not doing something to create sleepiness. Please do not think that you are doing something wrong. You do not need to try to change how you feel, either. In meditation, we bring awareness to how you feel, and if it means that you are tired, that is okay. What can I do? Acceptance When you feel low on energy in meditation, simply be kind to yourself and be okay with it. You can continue your practice and accept that you are tired. If you feel that you are becoming sleepy or it feels uncomfortable, you can open your eyes. Open your eyes When you open your eyes, find a point of focus in front of you. Place your sight in an object and carry on with your practice. Some people like to stand up to reset and then quickly sit down and continue. Both options are good. Notice your posture Drowsiness can also be a sign of a slouched posture. If you feel drowsy when you meditate, notice your posture. It could be you are not able to fully fill your lungs with each breath. Adjust your posture, elongate the spine, open your chest, and maximize the room to breathe more fully. Time of day Also, consider changing the time of day when you are doing your practice. Think about the morning or times that you feel you have more energy instead of night-time practice. In the evening you are more likely to feel tired and sleepy. Shorter practice Finally, consider reducing the amount of time you spend in your meditation. You can shorten the training to make it easier on your body and may be spread your practice through your day doing short meditation practices rather than an extended seated session. Be okay After trying these tips, you might still fall asleep and that is okay. Your body needs the rest and that is very important for your well-being. Your meditation and your effort still count. Here is today’s quote: “Be kind to your body, gentle with your mind and patient with your heart. " -Becca Lee And my one question for you is… What challenges are you having with your meditation practice? Please comment and contact me. I will answer them in an upcoming episode. ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:52
July 17, 2020
Mindful emailing: A better way to manage your email
Living a life that promotes mental balance and more equanimity involves paying attention to your daily actions. To have a more rooted experience in mindfulness, you must notice what activities could contribute or disrupt your state of being. In our daily lives, we are relying on keeping our connections with the use of emails. Emailing is essential for staying connected to family, friends, work, business, school, studies, groups, and so many things that it will be almost impossible to list all of them. In our culture of moving in a fast-paced world and quick solutions, the way you handle your email could disrupt your state of being. Another critical aspect of email is that it can also become an addictive behavior. Believe it or not, people can get addicted to checking their email. Today I want to recommend you examine how you handle your emails, so it doesn’t become a source of stress, conflict, and addiction. Here are some ideas that you can start doing today to begin practicing mindful emailing. Be mindful before our open your email: Instead of just opening your email whenever you feel like it, begin with connecting with your breath. Take five slow deep breathes before you check your email. Slow breathing will help your brain start in a calmer state and be better prepared to look at your messages in a more positive perspective Schedule you email checking times: To stop promoting addicted behavior around your email, start with imposing some self-control. Determine how many times you are going to check your messages and set reminders to do only check them when the time is the selected one. Wait to reply: Avoid replying to the message immediately. Take your time; maybe wait one day or two when you are unsure about a situation. Waiting to respond is even more critical if you feel emotional, defensive, or stressed about the message. When your brain is going into stress mode, it won’t come up with the best answers for solutions. Take a pause and breathe. Wait as much time as you need to feel calm and balanced again. Consider no reply: Sometimes we feel the pressure to respond to a message that it does not occur to us, that you also have the option of not replying. Don’t feel pushed to reply to all the messages you receive from people. Maybe the best thing that you can do to deal with a problematic or uncomfortable situation is to hold your reply. Here is today’s quote: "In our fast-paced world, knowing when to pause impatience is more essential so that patience and balance can rule.”- -Tamy Khan And my one question for you is... Which one of the mindful emailing strategies would benefit your mental balance and equanimity today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:48
July 15, 2020
What to do when you feel overwhelmed with a situation
To stop and take a break when we are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, is wise advice. Are feeling overwhelmed with a situation? Right now, is there a problem that is making you feel stuck. Follow me in this journey of self-reflection and hopefully, you will get more clarity about your situation. Take a step back. First, try to see your life a theater play. Imagine your life as it is developing right now in a theater. You are the main character in this play. Step back and look at what is happening in the play. Just observe and notice what feelings and emotions arise. Judge your experience As you pay attention to your feelings and emotions, ask yourself: Is this the life I want to continue living every day? Is this the path and journey I want to continue? Look around you Notice the people that are involved in the play and who are the other actors that are performing in your life. Pay attention to your interaction with your relatives, friends, children, coworkers, and other significant people. Are you enjoying your time around them? Are the interactions supportive, positive, and meaningful to you? Do you enjoy your interaction with them? Rewrite your character Now pretend that you are the writer of the play. Notice what the changes that you want to make to your character are. Think about how and what you would like to modify them. What would you change about your character? Keep in mind that you only have control of your character. The other characters are living their play. You can’t change their lines or how they act. See yourself as the character that is creating a life that feels meaningful, joyful, and balanced. Create an experience that has purpose, growth, and fulfillment. Here is today’s quote: “Life is not a puzzle to be solved. Life is a masterpiece that you create.” ― Brittany Burgunder And my one question for you is... How will you rewrite your story to help your character stop feeling overwhelmed? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:14
July 13, 2020
Steady mind in just 3 minutes
I frequently hear from friends and clients that they are concerned about their distracted minds. They worry about their difficulties with concentration and forgetfulness. If you are also feeling like this, you are not alone. Staying focused is getting harder in our distracted world. Sometimes our distractions are external and created by our environment. Our computers, phones, tablets, and other noises. Brain researchers are finding that we are more distracted than ever. Our brain is dealing with too many external distractions that are creating internal distractions. We are struggling with concentration because we are more worried and stressed than previous generations. Our lifestyles are creating too much stimulation. Our brain is having problems staying focused. To steady our minds we need to break these cycles of distractions, worry, and stress. It's key to retrain in new mental patterns. You need to begin mind training to improve focus and better concentration. You can start by doing this simple exercise. Begin with turning off notifications on your phone, and close your computer. Look around you and remove potential distractions. Find a place where you won’t be interrupted by others. Steady your mind Step One: Focus your attention Set a timer for three minutes. Pick an object in front of you to focus your attention. It could be something on your desk. If you are outside focus on a tree or sounds from nature. If you are laying down in bed you can focus on a crease on the blanket. Step two: Sustain your attention Relax your eyes and keep looking at the object. If you start to feel tense, breathe and relax the body. Keep sustaining your attention. Step three: Re-focus the mind When your mind wanders, say out loud “thinking”. Take one deep breath. Then come back to focusing on the object. Step Four: End on a happy note When your time is up, take three breaths and smile. This will take you even deeper into relaxation. You will feel more centered to continue with the rest of your day. Here is today’s quote: “The mind is what the brain does.”- Rick Hanson And my one question for you is… What can you change to reduce distractions in your day? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:49
July 10, 2020
How to create psychological flexibility
Psychological flexibility is the ability to stay in contact with the present moment regardless of feeling uncomfortable. When you are psychologically flexible you are able to stay collected and chose behaviors that support your well being even when they are unpleasant. Trying to ignore or avoid unpleasant feelings can sometimes make matters worse. If you do this excessively, you create mental stress and anxiety. It is not possible to block feelings, no matter how hard you try. Trying to control your feelings from arising can make you very self-critical. It can affect your confidence and keep you stuck in emotional suffering. Consider creating psychological flexibility. Start with mindfulness You can do this by becoming mindful of your feelings. When you pay attention to your feelings instead of judging them, you observe what is happening. Create a new relationship Begin with relating differently to your thoughts and feelings. Become a friend to them. When uncomfortable feelings and emotions arise, pay attention to your body. Don't let your mind take over with judgments. There is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. You are directly connecting with your feelings and accepting them. Make room for the discomfort Instead of pushing the discomfort away, create room for it. Connect with what is happening. Don’t dwell on your past or worry about the future. Just pay attention to what is going on right here, right now. Become an observer Observe how the feelings and sensations move in your body. Notice the changes. Just become in touch with how the feelings and emotions are not static. Observe and don't try to change how you are feeling. Act based on your values Your feelings and emotions are here to help you take a pause. You don't need to act not based on how you feel. Act based on your values. If you are angry or upset, don't act based on these challenging emotions. Take a breath and use a question to get centered. Consider asking the following question: What sort of person I want to be? Here is today’s quote "Psychological flexibility is about being open to whatever life throughs at you. Being free to adapt to change, challenges and situations that feel unpleasant. " -Tamy Khan And my one question for you is… What sort of person do I want to be for the rest of my life? The one that is stuck or the one that is psychologically flexible? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:01
July 8, 2020
3 Personal tips to begin meditation practice
I frequently come across people that want to meditate and don’t know how to begin. When I first started to meditate years ago, my practice was very different from what it is today. It is an evolving process that is still changing. I have learned that there are so many things that could help or interfere with establishing a consistent meditation practice. When I started my practice, I experimented with a lot of things. Still, today, I like to experiment as I have found it very helpful for me. I want to share with you some factors that you may want to experiment with to begin or re-establish your meditation practice. Start small I began with following a meditation practice for only five minutes. For months my meditation was concise and simple. If I only had three minutes, that was what I did. Find a simple meditation practice that you can stick to or go to a class to find one. Please stick to the same short method for months until it becomes automatic for you. Make it work When I started meditating, most of my meditations were in my car. At the time, my daughter was a toddler, and it was a challenge to do it at home. I did my best to do it daily, but sometimes I could not do it. My daughter will always fall asleep in the car. When she was sleeping, I will stop the car and meditate. Or I waited until we got home, and I meditated when we were in the garage while she slept. Commit In the beginning, it is challenging to commit. It was easy for the mind to find reasons why not do it. Finding other things to do was not a problem. I establish my commitment by anchoring on my whys. Identify the benefits that you want from your meditation practice. Pick long term goals that you could achieve if you commit to meditation. Make a goals list and write it down. Be very specific and explain how your life would better. Whenever you feel like skipping a day, before you do anything else, read your list. Once you know your whys, go all the way in. I do not think that there is a winning formula that works for everybody. Stick to what works for you. Experiment with different things and focus on your goals. Work diligently and patiently. One quote "Meditation has taught me patience, will power, and self-compassion. I am a better human being thanks to my meditation practice." Tamy Khan One question What is the most crucial reason why you want to meditate? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:24
July 6, 2020
3 simple ways to nurture a grateful life
A practice of daily gratitude is a fantastic thing you can do to transform your life with more resilience and positivity. Counting your blessing every day is a proven strategy that lessens depression and brings more long term happiness. Today I want to give you three new tips that you can add to any gratitude practice that you have and take it to the next level. These tips will help you go deeper into living a grateful life. All of these can be done as a new daily gratitude exercise or you can them just once when you feel you need a positivity boost. Visualization Find a comfortable seat in a quiet place and close our eyes. Visualize yourself experiencing an event that you are grateful for in your life. It can be simple things like the last time you and your husband had a good laugh together. Reconnect with the experience. What were you talking about that day? What was the thing that made you laugh? Visualize any joyful time and relive it with the power of your imagination. Multisensory reconnections Get your gratitude journal and write down happy memories through your five senses. Think about a day that you went to the park and the weather was ideal. Describe the grass, the weather, the sky, the birds, sounds, and smells. Also, write about any particular thing that you enjoyed or cherished from that experience. Through your journaling, keep in mind using your five senses to enrich the experience. Gratitude Notes Reflect on the people in your life that have helped you and supported uniquely. Think about the people that impacted your life in a meaningful way. Make a list of people and write them a note. Thank them for their support and tell them about their positive impact on your life. Keep this exercise simple. It is just a note. Consider writing and posting a letter, an email, or get a printed card. Here is today’s quote: “It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.” ― Brother David Steindl-Rast And my one question for you is… Which one of the tips can you see yourself doing today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:23
July 3, 2020
Create more bliss in your life
Bliss is such a great word. Whenever I say it, I can not help it, but I have to smile. Just repeating the word “bliss” makes me feel joyful. I feel an energy shift in my body that makes me remember things I love and enjoy doing. Join me now, repeat the word bliss three times. How does it feel in your body? A simple definition of bliss is a great joy. We all have things in our lives that make us feel joyful. It is essential for your well being to connect with joy every day. Consider practicing daily activities that you do just for the fun and the enjoyment you find in them. If you are looking for a new activity to enhance bliss, I recommend you to do chanting. The practice of chanting is merely repeating a phrase, sentence, or a sound. While you chant, you keep vocally repeating the words or sounds while you are seated, lying down, or moving. You can use an inspiring quote, a spiritual verse, a relaxing vowel sound, a prayer, or a word that brings a sense bliss, calm, or joy. There now rules on what you can say while you chant. Just pick something that connects with you. One common chanting practice is using the sound Aum. There are many variations of the sound—for example, Hum, Aam, Om. The significant soothing effect of repeating Aum comes to the vibrations that it creates in your throat and on your body. You can start your chanting practice by repeating Aum 24 times, three times a day, for 21 days. Consider practicing in a quiet space at home, seated on a comfy chair, or lying down on the floor. You can also do it while going for a walk while doing a house chore or having your shower. Today, set a powerful intention to have more bliss in your life. One quote “Wake up all the desire and pleasure that your body is capable of experiencing, let your past go, and follow your bliss just for the health of it.” —Dr. Christiane Northrup One question for you What are you doing to create more bliss and joy in your day? https://happymeditator.com/
06:29
July 1, 2020
The mindful way to befriend your anger
Recently I was reading a book by Sharon Salzberg, Real love. In this book, she writes about loving-kindness. I want to share with you one of her perspectives on coping with anger. Begin with the inner enemy. Our inner enemy is this internal energy that moves us to act when we feel uncomfortable. This enemy is the one that we can contact when we are angry or experience other challenging emotions. Anger can make us feel like we need to act promptly to protect ourselves. Usually, when we are angry, the hidden cause is fear. Anger connects us with our basic instinct of protection and ensuring our survival. Whether we feel physically or emotionally threatened, fear is mostly related to our anger. When anger overtakes us and our inner impulses react, it could feel like an uncontrollable force. We can experience this force in our body when our body temperatures rise, our digestion stops, and our heartbeat increases. Being angry frequently can create destructive forces inside of you that act as an internal enemy. Mindfulness can help us understand and find ways to resolve our inner enemy’s battles in a more tolerant approach. Building a mindful awareness of our fears can give us a great tool to reduce our anger and help us make better decisions. Our inner enemy can be tamed if we understand better the forces acting inside us when we let anger take over. How to befriend your anger? The mindful way to become a friend with anger is to learn to observe your anger. Follow these mindfulness perspectives to open up to anew relationship with your anger. Anger is created by our perception. When you get angry about a situation is all created by how you perceive the situation. The things that you have learned in your past determine your immediate reactions to your emotional impulses. Spend time observing the conditions, people, and events that trigger anger in you. Explore the beliefs that you have that are related to your anger. Anger is felt in the body. When you feel anger, and it turns into rage, there are a bunch of sensations that you can feel in your body. When was the last time that felt really angry? What do you remember feeling in your body? When rage takes over, it is an extreme version of anger. If you begin to pay attention to more gentle episodes of anger, you will start to realize that you have milder sensations that arise with different degrees of anger and frustration. Anger can be embraced in meditation. You can use meditation as a strategy to befriend your anger. You can meditate and change your relationship with your anger. Instead of being an enemy, it can become a friend that you don’t like to visit frequently. In meditation, You can connect with a memory of a situation that makes you feel angry and observe what happens in your body. As you watch the sensation, you focus on the changes and slowing your breathing. One quote Sharon Salzberg“ All the imperfections that I perceive have to do with my faulty vision” One question How will your life be better if you were able to understand and tame your anger? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:09
June 29, 2020
Explore your true desires in five mindful steps
The word desire means a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. I’m sure if I asked right now if you have hopes, you would have many. But if I asked you, what are your heart desires, what will you say? Our heart desires go deeper than just a general desire. These types of desires are the ones that connect your personal growth, inner peace, and life fulfillment. They are about things that are important for your life satisfaction and true happiness. Our heart desires are the things that worth pursuing in life. They are the things that will give your experience more meaning and a deeper purpose. If you want to explore and make your heart desires a reality, you can begin today doing a simple practice, mindful journaling. How to do it: Write them down Get a notebook and write down what are our heart desires. What are the things that you want and wish in your life to have more inner peace, growth, and fulfillment? Select one Select one of your desires that you want to make a reality, but it hasn’t happened. Think about one wish in your control, but you have not been able to move forward. Bring creativity To ignite more creativity about achieving this wish, do one thing differently. To move your mind to find new ways to deal with the challenge, bring a new perspective. Write down ten solutions that you have not tried in the past. Any idea is a good idea. Step away Move away from your journal and do something else. Place your attention to something not related to your desire. Go for a walk, meditate, exercise, or take a shower. Visualize Then come back, take a seat, and visualize yourself as your desire had come true. See yourself and your wish happening. Write down the experience and see how to open your mind becomes to new ideas. Here is today’s quote: “Do what your heart desires, never hold back a thing, and don’t worry so much about what the others think, because at the end of the day, what makes you happy is what matters the most.” Unknown And my one question for you is… What are your heart's desires right now? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:53
June 26, 2020
What to do when you feel overwhelmed with your life
To stop and take a break when we are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated too frequently, is wise advice. If you think that your life is not true to you, or that is something missing? Or that you feel stuck in a rut? Right now, take a break and follow me on this journey. Take a step back First, try to see your life a theater play. Imagine your life as it is developing right now in a theater. You are the main character in this play. Step back and look at what is happening in the play. Just observe and notice what feelings and emotions arise. Judge your experience As you pay attention to your feelings and emotions, ask yourself: Is this the life I want to continue living every day? Is this the path and journey I want to continue? Look around you Notice the people that are involved in the play and who are the other actors that are performing in your life. Pay attention to your interaction with your relatives, friends, children, coworkers, and other significant people. Are you enjoying your time around them? Are the interactions supportive, positive, and meaningful to you? Do you enjoy your interaction with them? Rewrite your character Now pretend that you are the writer of the play. Notice what the changes that you want to make to your character are. Think about how and what you would like to modify them. What would you change about your character? Keep in mind that you only have control of your character. The other characters are living their play. You can’t change their lines or how they act. See yourself as the character that is creating a life that feels meaningful, joyful, and balanced. Create an experience that has purpose, growth, and fulfillment. Here is today’s quote: “Life is not a puzzle to be solved. Life is a masterpiece that you create.” ― Brittany Burgunder And my one question for you is… How are you going to rewrite your character in your life’s play? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
05:58
June 24, 2020
Mindful emailing: A calmer way to manage your email
Living a life that promotes mental balance and more equanimity involves patin attention to your daily actions. To have a more rooted experience in mindfulness, you must notice what activities could contribute or disrupt your state of being. In our daily lives, we are relying on keeping our connections with the use of emails. Emailing is essential for staying connected to family, friends, work, business, school, studies, groups, and so many things that it will be almost impossible to list all of them. In our culture of moving in a fast-paced world and quick solutions, the way you handle your email could disrupt your state of being. Another critical aspect of email is that it can also become an addictive behavior. Believe it or not, people can get addicted to checking their email. Today I want to recommend you examine how you handle your emails, so it doesn’t become a source of stress, conflict, and addiction. Here are some ideas that you can start doing today to begin practicing mindful emailing. Be mindful before our open your email: Instead of just opening your email whenever you feel like it, begin with connecting with your breath. Take five slow deep breathes before you check your email. Slow breathing will help your brain start in a calmer state and be better prepared to look at your messages in a more positive perspective Schedule you email checking times: To stop promoting addicted behavior around your email, start with imposing some self-control. Determine how many times you are going to check your messages and set reminders to do only check them when the time is the selected one. Wait to reply: Avoid replying to the message immediately. Take your time; maybe wait one day or two when you are unsure about a situation. Waiting to respond is even more critical if you feel emotional, defensive, or stressed about the message. When your brain is going into stress mode, it won’t come up with the best answers for solutions. Take a pause and breathe. Wait as much time as you need to feel calm and balanced again. Consider no reply: Sometimes we feel the pressure to respond to a message that it does not occur to us, that you also have the option of not replying. Don’t feel pushed to reply to all the messages you receive from people. Maybe the best thing that you can do to deal with a problematic or uncomfortable situation is to hold your reply. Here is today’s quote: In our fast-paced world, knowing when to pause impatience is more essential so that patience and balance can rule.” -Tamy Khan And my one question for you is… Which one of the mindful emailing strategies would benefit your mental balance and equanimity today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:25
June 22, 2020
Unhappy people need to do this one thing
In the last twenty years of working helping people, I have seen many faces of unhappiness. I have met a lot of people that are so stuck that when they talk about their lives, you mostly hear about sadness, disappointment, and dissatisfaction. For most of them, the roots of their unhappiness come from being stuck in the past. When you talk to them you always find that they are keeping grudges and resentment with family, relatives, siblings, bosses, parents, and partners or spouses. These unresolved conflicts are always in the back of their mind when other difficulties arise, even when they are not related to what happened in their past. Today I want to invite you to break these patterns and take a different path. Living your life today when you’re trying to change something from your past is useless. You Can’t change what happened to you. Learning how to let go of the past will give you a new life. When you Let go of your disappointments, battles, humiliations, and bitterness, you open up to healing your heart. It would be best if you took responsibility for your happiness today. Your past will never change. Your wounds will never heal if you keep opening them up and digging in your pain. Your suffering will stay with you until you adjust your belief. If you feel like your past should not have happened. It will help if you accept that it did, and nothing is going to change it. If it was unfair, abusive, unacceptable, and unforgivable, retake a look. Take a new look at your pain and transform it. How? Transform it with the power of kindness and compassion. You have to forgive. Today I invite you to forgive your spouse, your sibling, your mother, your father, your lawyer, your doctor, your boss, your teacher, your son, your daughter, whoever hurt you. When you forgive those who hurt you, your life will change. Forgiveness helps you to let go of the hate and unhappiness that is keeping you stuck. It will also help you begin to look at your life differently. Instead of a victim, you become a hero in your story. You want and deserve a life in which you are the creator of good. Your experience will be more positive when you feed on the sources of love and compassion. You want to create a life in which you create your path. Leave the negativity behind and embrace who you are, a source of love and compassion. One quote “Be loving to yourself and let go of the past”- Tamy Khan One question Who do you need to forgive today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:30
June 20, 2020
Overcome negativity and fear by facing one thing
Today I challenge myself to go for a run. Anyone that knows me knows that I love running. Why was it a challenge for me today? Because I was feeling tired, and I didn’t want to go by myself. I enjoy running with friends, but I didn’t have any company today. My mind started to go into all the negatives to validate why it was a bad idea to go today for a run. “ Today, it’s super cold.” “Your good running tights for colder weather are dirty.” “You should get on with your errands and your car is out of gas….” Most of the time, fear stops us from developing resilience. Once our mind thinks that there is an opportunity for discomfort and challenges, it immediately looks for more. It finds more reasons to validate why it is a bad idea to do something. How do we train for resilience? We feel the fear, and we still do it. Instead of letting my mind continue with all the negatives forecasting, I stop thinking, and I move into action. Here are some simple steps that I like to follow to break my negative thinking and build more resilience. Pause Don’t let the mind keep building a negative story. Stop what you are doing. Sit, close your eyes, and breathe for a minute. Reconnect with your goals Think about what is the goal of what you are trying to do? Think about the value and how going ahead will help you be closer to life goals and improve your wellbeing. Challenge the mind Take to yourself. “ Do You think you know better? Most of the time, your fears are off track. I’m not going to let fear stop me. Yes, I’m tired, but I’m going to try and see how I do.” Settle for less Be ok with a smaller goal. Break down your challenge and figure out how to achieve a tiny target. In my situation, a short run or maybe jus an outdoor walk. Examine what happened After going for the run, as always, things went better than my fears where predicting. Yes, I was alone. Yes, it was cold. Yes, I had to put gas and got delayed, but the benefits surpassed my expectations. I had a great run-walk. The sun was out, and the trails were dry. It was amazing to run with the sun on my face. I met a lovely family, and I helped them by taking some pictures. I felt energized and ready to tackle the day. Face your fears, learn resilience, and just do it. One quote “Do one thing every day that scares you.”- Eleanor Roosevelt One question What fear are you ready to overcome today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:12
June 19, 2020
10 ways to reduce cell phone and social media addiction
Addiction experts have found evidence that we are building more and more addicted behaviors around technology. In our society, we are carrying our mobile devices all day, every day. We all have easy access to create the cravings and satisfy the addiction. Americans pick up their phones on an average every 12 minutes. Brain research studies point out that our brain is getting hooked to the positive feeling and reward we feel when we get a like in social media. If you want to reduce or control your phone or social media addiction, consider the following: Don’t carry your phone in your hand and with you at all times. Out of sight, out of mind. Turn off alerts or notifications of posts. Keeping notifications will continue feeding the cravings. Install phone apps that restrict the minutes you use daily. Set a time daily to use social media, and when your time is up, put the phone away. Limit the number of times that you check your email a day. Consider twice or three times a day. If possible, do not check your email on your phone. Do it on your computer as it will help you stick to your email limit. Limit your phone use to phone calls and texting. Find substitute behaviors and write a list. Pick a bunch of things that you can do when you feel bored or stressed. Draw, read a book, dance, sing, or start a hobby. Journal your experience. Write about your social media consumption and how you are feeling about the process of breaking them. Make a plan to deal with triggers. Pay attention to your behavior patterns and the things that feed the craving and your addiction. Figure out how to prevent them or modify them. Start a meditation practice. Mind training will help you increase your awareness of your cravings. It will reduce stress and will strengthen your will power against your social media addiction. One quote “Social media not only snatches your time, but it also teaches you attention deficiency.”- Neeraj Agnihotri One question Which tips can you start to implement today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
15:48
June 18, 2020
How to stop being critical about yourself
Most of my life, I listened to my self-criticism. It got me into unhealthy habits and guilt. The more attention I paid to it, the more unhappy I felt about myself. When we feel stressed and turn into self-criticism, our natural tendency is to turn into a distraction. Feeling down is not fun, and we quickly want to make ourselves feel better. The most common strategy is to find something that feels rewarding. The American psychology association found that the most common strategies that we use are: Eat, drink alcohol, shopping, watch TV, surf the web, social media, or play video games. Sadly, only 16% of these strategies reduce stress. How can we change from self- criticism to a more balanced and positive state of mind? Find stress relief strategies that are proven to work. One proven approach is to connect with your heart. Literally, you connect with your heartbeat, and this will reduce your stress and negativity. Start with a comfortable position and place your hand in your heart. Find your heartbeat on your chest or your wrist. Move your attention to your breath. Slow your breath and extend your exhalation. Let all the air out in your exhale and gently inhale. This technique adjusts your heart rate into a more rhythmic pace creating a better heart rate variability. Doing this simple strategy will create changes in your circulation system and your brain. It will move your mind from self-criticism to a more balanced and positive state of mind. The more you practice this technique, the more your nervous system will keep reducing stress. One quote If you listen to your self-criticism, you are giving a bully control of your thoughts and your actions. Stop drowning on negativity. Instead, allow yourself to be human and imperfect. Tamy Khan One question What is your coping strategy when you turn self-critical? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:05
June 16, 2020
Stay grounded and stop judgements
I want to stay more connected with the present and mindful every day. Letting go of the past and not worrying about the future is where I want to be. But in reality, how can I do this? How can I stay present when my mind likes to wander and judge all the time? If you are like me, maybe you have asked yourself these questions. I have been committed to living more mindfully for quite some time. My journey started some years ago and is still going. One important lesson that I’ve realized is that mindfulness is about consistency building mental habits. I do my seated mindfulness meditation and breathing exercises daily, but I also want to stay present in my day. I want to continue taming my monkey mind in my daily routines. Adding new mental habits to your day can help in this mindful journey. These simple habits have made a significant impact on my life. They disrupt unnecessary worries, judgments, and keeping me present. Slow down Why are we so obsessed with rushing through our day? Being all the time in a hurry keeps your mind, heart, and breath in stress mode. Find one of your five senses to remind you to slow down. Pick one sense I’m a very visual person, so I picked the sense of sight. I love nature, moss, the sky, lakes, insects, birds, mountains, pebbles, and watching the wind move trees. During my day, I take time to slow down whenever I notice any of these. I stop whatever I’m doing and pay attention to them. As a bonus, if I’m by myself, I take 5-10 mindful breathes to admire the beauty and connect with nature. Self-compassion Our world is obsessed with perfection, and we are passively watching messages that emphasize negativity about ourselves. Primarily we are frequently reminded about things in our bodies that we should change, remove, and erase. Whenever I find myself caught in a negative space about comparing myself or my body to others, I pause. As soon as I realize that I being self- critical, I stop and connect with self-compassion. Pause, take a deep breath, and find three things that you are grateful for about yourself. Let go of criticism and open your heart to mindful gratitude. One quote Where are you hurrying to? You will see the moonlight tonight, wherever you go.” -Shikibu Izumi One question What can you do today to slow down and be more mindful? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
09:21
June 15, 2020
A mindful practice for negative daydreaming
Our mind naturally likes to wander and time travel. In the day, you are most of the time staying in this wandering mental state. Brain research estimates that our mind tends to be the majority of the time daydreaming. It is so automatic that we go in and out of daydreaming that most of the time, we are conscious that we are doing until something happens that stops it. Suddenly you are at your destination, and you can’t remember how you drove your car trout out the journey. Most of our day, our thoughts travel between two destinations, positive or negative. When our mind is negative, it’s wandering about our fears, worries, and stress. On a positive destination, the daydreams are good stories and hopeful outcomes. Unfortunately, our mind prefers a negative destination. Our brain prefers to focus on fear for our survival. Depending if you are in positive or negative mode, you will raise or drain your mental and physical energy. The more you visit the negative pattern, the more you run out of power and reinforce adverse events from your past. Stay longer and more frequently on the favorable destination can help you fill up with more energy, hope, and can even nurture healing. Why? Because you will reinforce positive brain connections that can reset negativity. You can use your imagination to train your brain to believe in positive endings. You can use your mind-wandering intentionally to promote emotional and physical healing. Your brain believes that when you are daydreaming, it is a real thing that is happening. You can take a scenario from your life that created a negative emotional wound and change it by creating a different imagined outcome. Pay attention to your mind During your day, pay attention to your daydreaming. Become more aware of the times that your mind travels. Then ask yourself: Is this a positive story or a negative story? Positive? If it’s a positive stay with it, keep building the story and make it fabulous. Make it so fantastic that everything about it feels positive and energizing to you. You can give the story a name and say: “And that was the day that I became the best humanitarian in the world.” Negative? If the story is negative and you feel tense during the daydream, stop. Take a pause, and do not keep feeding the stress. Say to yourself: “And that is a story that does not need to happen.” You can also continue the story and change the situations that made it unfavorable for you into a positive. Then you can say: “And that is a good story.” One quote All your negative stories can be transformed into positive stories. You are the writer, producer, and actor in your life. -Tamy Khan One question What story are you ready to change into a positive one? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:54
June 11, 2020
A straightforward thing to do for more inner peace
Our brain is always growing and changing. Every day it adapts to new situations and information. You can take advantage of this brain plasticity to create mental balance. You can use this to reduce your anxiety, worries, and stress. You can direct your brain to change and create new connections by choosing your focus. Also, you have the power to disregard old links, so the brain thinks that they are no longer essential and gets rid of them Self- directing your mental focus to new experiences that promote a relaxing and calming state can change your brain connections. Doing this will create more brain pathways to balance your mental energy to a more peaceful state. You can rewire your central nervous system by solely focusing on calming energy. Starting with a sustained practice of new behavior that will sufficiently challenge the brain to think in a new way. I want you to consider putting your brain outside its comfort zone and develop a new skill. Doing this will help your mind become more flexible and resilient. One of the easiest ways to do this is to stay still. Yes, stillness. The only thing you need to do is be still. No phone, no laptop, no books, no distractions. You can do this inside your house, your car, or your office. I like to do this outdoors. I usually go to a park, find a bench, and be still. I look at what is around me without moving my body. I look at the sky and admire the colors, the clouds, and how they change. You can sit and be still while you look at an object. Look at a plant. Observe the leaves, surface, colors, and structure. If you keep focusing on your old patterns of stress and negativity, you will keep reinforcing them. Do the opposite, focus on what you want to create more in your life. Take time today for inner calm and wire your brain for more mental balance and inner peace. One quote Look at a tree, a flower, a plant. Let your awareness rest upon it. How still it is, how deeply rooted in Being. Allow nature to teach you stillness. Eckhart Tolle One question Are you ready to practice stillness today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:23
June 10, 2020
Find meaning in your emotional pain
Dealing with emotional pain can be difficult to overcome. Working with your mindset and how you look at your suffering can help. One thing that has been proven to help emotional healing, is finding meaning. Your personal experience of loss, abuse, betrayal and emotional suffering doesn’t have to define who you are. You are more than your past. Creating a positive shift in your mindset can make a difference. Start with looking at where you are today. 1. Goals Set simple goals and plan to take mini-steps to improve. If a goal is not met, modify your plan. Celebrate any small improvement, treat yourself. 2. Connections Spend time with supportive and nurturing people. Avoid relationships that drain you or feel like a struggle. Build meaningful connections with people that make you feel better. 3. Suffering Accept that you are suffering and be ok with it. Don’t ignore your pain. It will come in waves. Some days the tide of the waves feel higher and others are lower. It is always changing. 4. Meaning Find someone to help. When you help someone, it gives meaning to your pain. You are not the only one suffering. Your suffering can help others. One quote “Turn your wounds into wisdom.” – Oprah One question How can you use your pain as a source of strength? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
05:52
June 9, 2020
A powerful way to deal with difficult emotions
In the last week, our world was shaken by a violent racist tragedy. A lot of us are feeling sadness, anger, and/or frustration. It’s hard to take in what is happening. I have been spending time reflecting on how to act in this situation. Is there something I need to be doing? Today I came across a powerful message from Ajahn Brahm. He said that sometimes in situations where you are against the wall and you re not sure of your way out, an effective way to deal with the problem is to pause. Pausing and waiting to have clarity is a problem-solving strategy. Letting things settle and having a waiting period until you feel that there is something worthwhile doing. Taking time to pause and find where you want to direct your actions until you find something that could help you achieve the change you are looking for. If you are feeling like me. Bring acceptance to your feelings and emotions. Sit and take a pause. Welcome, what arises, and be ok with it. It is absolutely fine to wait and let things settle. Send love and prayers to those that are suffering. Pausing is powerful. Take a breath and keep breathing until you feel you have an action that feels true to you to move forward. Let your action send your authentic message to the world. One quote Rollo May“Human freedom involves our capacity to pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight. ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
04:19
June 6, 2020
How to deal with self-criticism
It’s easy to get caught in self-criticism and get drowned in it. Our minds can start with a simple mistake and make it into a huge problem. Our thoughts have a natural tendency to be stuck in negativity. One way that we do this is by repeating negative affirmations. When you get mad at yourself for making a mistake, do you insult yourself? Being self-critical frequently can get you stuck in emotions like blame and hate. We tend to do this even when it is for something that you have we have no control of because it turns into our default mode. “Something went wrong, it has to be my fault!” Stop self- criticism with a question Instead of getting caught in self-hatred, consider asking a question. When you realize that you are getting angry about a situation and blaming yourself, ask: How can I let go and move one? Reflect on the value of letting go of small stuff. Don’t sweat the small stuff. When you pay attention, you realize that most of it is small stuff. Mind your language Pay attention to the words you use. Your words influence the content of your thoughts. Stop using words that are rude, hateful, and cynical about yourself. Select the words you say and focus on using positive affirmations that move you from criticism to love and acceptance. Practice self-love I want to invite you today to create new self-positive affirmations. Stop what you are doing and find a mirror. Look at yourself in a mirror. What can you see? If you are focusing on the things you don’t like, reset your attention and find the things that you like. Affirm the things, features, or qualities that you are grateful for. Say them out loud. Write them down. Place post-it notes on your desk with them. ” I love my eyes because they allow me to see the world” One quote “When you don’t know who to hate, you hate you.” ― Chuck Palahniuk One question When you see yourself in the mirror where can you find love? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
11:22
June 5, 2020
The power of touch during social distancing
Yes, we have to keep social distancing when we go out. It’s essential to follow recommendations when we are at the grocery store, walking the dog, and outside in public spaces. But what about at home? Today, I want to share some research about the importance of physical affection for reducing stress and improving well-being. Social distancing is challenging for humans because we are social creatures. We like connection and validation from others. In our current situation, there is a strong emphasis on avoiding physical contact to prevent the spread of the Covid-19 virus. This situation can make us feel uncomfortable about the human touch. In challenging times it is essential to create social connection, and even though we are supposed to stay away from physical contact, that does not need to apply to the people we live with at home. There is an exception if you suspect the person is sick or has the virus. Saying that I have heard of beautiful stories or relatives, partners, husband, and carers that still went ahead and held, touch, and hug someone infected with COVID. To those people, my heart goes to them. Today it is more important than ever that we still feel love and connection with others. Touch is the fastest way to create warmth between people. It is a quick way to feel supported and safe. In these uncertain times, for your well-being, please keep your affection alive. If you are unsure about the benefits of affection, let me tell you that touch is a natural immune booster. Several research studies found that human touch increases hemoglobin. This body reaction helps your body heal faster, prevents depression, and increases the heart and brain’s oxygen. A study by the University of Carolina found that affection between a supportive partner can reduce emotional reactivity and reduce negative stress. I want to give you specific guidelines on how to increase affection to improve your well-being and the people around you. Renowned clinical social worker, Virginia Satir, found that we all need eight hugs a day to provide mental stability. If you feel that you need to improve your mental balance, she recommends 12 hugs day. These amounts of hugs help your central nervous system get out of survival mode and build a sense of trust. If you are living on your own, you can practice self- hugs. Sit on a chair and wrap yourself with your arms. You can swing side to side or back and forward to soothe yourself. Also, you can do things like body scrub or self-massage. These two strategies also work for self-soothing and activating the emotional benefits of human touch. If you have a pet, spend more time petting, hugging, and kissing your pet. So go ahead and stay connected and affectionate. It will help your mood, calm your stress, and boost your health. One quote “I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen by them, heard by them, to be understood and touched by them.” Virginia Satir One question How are you going to satisfy your affection needs today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
08:42
June 4, 2020
The standing stress release technique
We have accepted that to survive our stressful life and multiple demands, multitasking is the way to go. It turns out that our brain disagrees. Focusing on a thing and just doing one task is the best for our brain. When the brain is overloaded, it begins to malfunction. If you feel scattered and that your mind is all over the place try a centering technique. It will help to bring your mind to the present moment and deactivate the stress response in the brain. In simple words, it is a technique to calm down when your brain is freaking out. A stress release technique can help to bring your mind to connect with your body and reset the brain from a scattered mode to a centering way. You will make better decisions and come up with better solutions to your problems. Standing stress release technique Posture Begin with a standing position. Relax your shoulders, and the torso is upright and straight, feet hips distance apart, look forward and close your eyes. Connect with your body Bring your attention to four points in your body. Do it in the following order: Feet, knees, hips, and navel. Stay a few breaths in each one of these body parts and observe the sensations. Visualize Imagine all the scattered thoughts becoming energy particles. Visualize all those particles coming together and collecting in your navel area. Draw all that energy into the center of your body. Stay Continue focusing on the visualization until you start to feel more stable, centered and balanced in your body. Do this stress release technique whenever you feel stressed. I like to do it before situations that I know tend to make me feel stressed as a way to center myself and prepare my mind to be more balanced. It can also be a great way to way end your day and useful to prepare the body and mind to let go of the stress of your day. One quote Human multitasking is an apparent human ability to perform more than one task at the same time. In reality is when my brain freaks out, I become impatient, pushy, irritable, cranky, bossy, overwhelmed, and scattered. Tamy Khan One question What is your definition of multitasking? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:25
June 3, 2020
The easiest meditation technique and why everybody should meditate
We are all predisposed to focus on negative experiences. This tendency to mostly pay attention to things in a pessimistic way guides our emotional reactions, fears, decision making, and memory processing. Basically, without realizing we wear a negative pair of glasses, that clouds most go the things in our world through lenses that focus on finding negativity. That is something pretty dramatic. Most of the things you say, do, and feel are being filtered using the negative bias of your brain. If this seems gloom, yes, your brain is doing it. Your mind right now is focusing on the negative picture that I’m trying to paint to you. Is it possible to retrain our brain to focus less on the negative? The answer is YES. There are many things that you can do to reshape this negative conditioning. Most of the negative focus starts in areas of your brain that can change with mental training. Meditation is a proven mind tool to get this done. In meditation, we are training ourselves to guide our brain’s internal conversation. We are using self-directed neuroplasticity. Our brain has this amazing ability to be molded and be flexible. You can guide it to change the negative bias. By using neuroplasticity, we are taking advantage of the brain’s flexibility and putting it to good use for our well being. How can I train my brain? You can start with a simple technique called the relaxation response. Dr. Herbert Benson from Harvard University researched the brain and found this technique in the 70s. He developed and proved that with solely focusing on one thing for 12- 15 minutes daily, you could change your brain’s negative bias. Practicing the relaxation response technique changes neuro-chemical reactions and promotes good hormones that train your brain to reduce stress and cortisol. It also teaches your nervous system to reduce the pessimistic focus and find more relaxation. The relaxation response technique 1. Pick a focus: Find something to focus on your body or your mind. You can pick a word to repeat like “Peace” or “Calm. You can also choose to focus on your breathing. Simply pay attention to your chest or nostrils and notice your breath coming in and out. 2. Find a place: Select a place that you can sit comfortably and that you won’t be disturb. Find a body posture that is relaxing and allows you to breathe comfortably. 3. Set a timer: Determine the time you have available to practice and set a timer. You can keep your eyes open or close. Just do whatever feels more relaxing to you. Then begin practicing the technique and focus on your point of attention. During your practice, when your mind wanders or gets distracted, take a pause. Do not get upset as this is part of training your unruly brain. It happens to everybody. When you notice the wandering, simply return to your point of focus and carry on. Final Thoughts Think about the big picture. Wouldn’t it be great if you could have a more balanced brain that helps you make better decisions? It would be life-changing to have a mind that can cope in a resilient way when challenges arise instead of freaking out. Would it be liberating to have better attention, memory, and be able to stay present as your life evolves around you? If you haven’t tried meditation today, please give it a go. What do you have to lose? If you struggle to find your way through starting your meditation practice, please feel free to contact me. I’ll be happy to help and guide you into starting a more mindful and resilient life. One question Are you willing to give meditation a try? One quote A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
10:30
June 2, 2020
How to find a deeper sense of community during social distancing
Social distancing is a measure taken to prevent the spread of a contagious disease by maintaining a physical distance between people. Limiting getting physically close to each other is important but we have to remember that keeping real social connections is vital for our happiness. Social connections are essential for human beings. During social distancing, you can maintain them. One way to do this is by building more connections in your community. Take time to cultivate human connections. They are an investment in our physical, mental, and global wellbeing. Consider some of my suggestions. 1. When you wake up in the morning set a daily intention to connect with people. 2. Be kind to yourself when you make a mistake, as a result, you’ll be kinder to others and more patient. 3. Before you eat, pause, and reflect on the people that are working and made it possible for you to have food on your table. 4. Practice gratitude for the people working in health and research services. Write in your journal the things that you are grateful for. 5.  Greet people when you go for a walk while practicing social distancing. 6. Make eye contact with people and smile (even under a mask or a leaf!). One quote: “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued.” Brene Brown One question for you: How do you stay connected with your community? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
10:54
June 1, 2020
Making the best of social isolation
Take social isolation as an opportunity to grow. Make good use of the additional hours that you have right now. Staying active, balanced, and productive is the best thing you can do for your physical and mental health. Here are 7 proven strategies that will help you boost your immunity, increase resilience, and stay in a more positive mindset during social isolation. 1st strategy: Practice Meditation Fifteen-minute meditation practice is long enough to make a positive impact on your mental balance if you stick to it daily. Find a quiet spot in your home and start a daily practice. Meditation is a well-documented strategy to reduce anxiety, depression symptoms, improve mental resilience, and happiness. 2nd strategy: Journal your gratitude It is good to be thankful but it is better if you write it down. Reminding yourself of the goodness in your life is a scientific way to boost mood, lower toxic emotions, and increase positivity. The more you focus on the positive, the more you will realize that most of the things in your life is going great. 3rd strategy: Learn a new skill Take an online course and learn a new skill. Learning helps us build stronger brain connections to improve problem-solving. When you stretch your brain and learn a new skill you are protecting your brain against aging-related brain diseases like Dementia. 4th strategy: Start an online club with friends and family We all love spending time with people we feel we get along with and have similar interests. Human beings thrive when they have positive and supportive social connections and interactions. Continuing social relationships is vital for happiness, life satisfaction, and better immune protection against diseases. Build and grow your tribe online and stay meaningfully connected with others 5th strategy: Read an inspiring book Reading things that are positive, and uplifting is a proven way to keep the mind more optimistic. If you are only reading negative news, you are focusing your brain on fears and triggering stress, cortisol, and inflammation. When you read about positive things, your brain stays in a better mindset and you will feel more hopeful about the future. Hope is a valuable strength to build in these challenging times. 6th strategy: Connect with nature Nature is an amazing tool that can help us cope with stress and reduce anxiety. Research has shown that people that spend time outside have better mental health, less anxiety, and cope better with life challenges. If you can’t go out, get a plant. 7th strategy: Help the lonely and isolated There are people in need around you. There could be a neighbor that needs support and just a phone call. Helping others has many benefits that go beyond the person that you are supporting. When you assist someone, you are practicing a resilient strategy that will boost your confidence, reduce the risk of depression, and increase well being. One quote “When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” ― Paulo Coelho, One question How are you making the best out of our current situation? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
09:31
May 29, 2020
How to deal with uncertainty and negative self-talk
During times of uncertainty and stress, we could have our minds set on negative thinking. Our mind is always trying to forecast the future as a way to protect us. That is why we plan and prepare for things because we like to prevent difficulties, setbacks, and frustrations. Most of the time, our mind tends to forecast negative scenarios that will never happen. If you are worried and deeply stress about a situation that is not on your control, this negative forecasting is more frequent and more substantial. You could be getting caught in negative self-talk that only builds more stress and doesn’t do you any good. Here is one proven way that you can start to use right now to disrupt your negative thinking and calm down that inner voice. Calm down the negative inner voice Step 1 Whenever you listen to your inner voice, asking: What if this bad thing happens? Stop and don’t get caught in trying to find an answer. Step 2 Write down the what-if question and then close your eyes. Ask yourself, Is this thought real?  Stay silent and see what arises. How do I feel when I think this way? Observe what happens. Notice any sensations or feelings that arise. Open your eyes and write down the answer and what happened when you asked the questions. Step 3 Final question, how can I turn this situation into a positive one? Find the positive side or lessons that you could learn from the unwanted result. One quote “It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.” ― Dieter F. Uchtdorf One question What valuable lesson have you learned from the uncertainty you are dealing with? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
05:33
May 28, 2020
5 Things to do every morning for a mindful day
Start your day with mindfulness. Create a morning routine that revolves around more inner peace and positivity. Mindfulness does not need to be complicated. It is all about starting with the intention to stay mindful and present in your morning. The things that you already do you will give them a positive meaning by keeping presence while you do them. As a bonus, I will also suggest if you are not doing it already, to add a silent practice or meditation to enhance calm and raise your vibrations. Begin a Mindful Morning Routine 1. Pick a morning mantra Create an uplifting phrase that you like or use a quote that you already love. Select a mantra that works for you in centering your thoughts into calm and positivity. One of my favorites comes from Louise Hay. I love to repeat this mantra in the morning, and whenever I want to remind myself to stay centered, joyful, and calm. “I am vibrantly healthy, happy, healed, and whole from the top of my head to my big toes." 2. Mindful attention to your daily routine activities Instead of just getting dressed or just brushing your teeth, set a purpose while you are doing those things. If you are like me, my mind loves to wander into worries or plans while I brush my teeth. When I notice my mind wandering, I bring my mind back and stay focused on the hand holding the toothbrush or the taste of the toothpaste or the vibration of the brush in my gums. Instead of just going through things mindlessly, set a purpose while you are doing your mourning routine. When you are brushing your teeth, washing your face, taking a shower, putting on clothes, set your attention to stay with the experience. 3. Wait to connect to the world until you feel centered Before you open your laptop or grab your phone, do a mindful activity to stay. Take three minutes to keep silent or do a meditation. Ensure that you feel calm and grounded before you open a screen that could open a can of worries and problems. 4. Move and stretch If you have time for a short or long workout, go for it. If you can do it outside even better. Go for a brisk walk, run, or cycle. If your time is minimal, do something short and simple. Stretch, jump, and move to energize your body. 5. Read something positive or inspiring Take a minute or two to read a book of quotes, a religious book, or any wisdom book that has useful, inspiring nuggets of wisdom that will set you with a positive note to your day. My final thoughts Make mindfulness part of your daily life. Don’t just leave it for your seated meditation. Mindful living brings into your daily grind the calm and balanced mindset that we all need to be more productive, positive, and resilient. One quote “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” by Thich Nhat Hanh One question How do you already add mindfulness to your day? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:51
May 27, 2020
How to calm down when you feel confined and stressed
I’m writing this post while we are dealing with social distancing and a world pandemic. Our life circumstances have changed quickly and dramatically in a very short period of time. We were not given a warning or time to adjust swiftly. Suddenly we are at home, confined, and with limited options. Being at home with people that are also feeling stressed could be challenging. Adapting to this “new” normal could feel chaotic, and overwhelming. At home, you could be experiencing too much stimulation or lack of social interaction. Your mind could feel confused and unsure about these changes. Feeling too low or too high on energy could be difficult during social distancing. Feeling unbalanced can make you more impatient, and irritable. You could even be more reactive to people around you. How to calm down? Take a mindful sensory break. As soon as you start to feel irritable, anxious, or stressed, try taking a break. If you are at home, go to your bedroom or an empty cozy room in your house. If you are at work, find a small quiet room that you can close the door and be by yourself. Reduce stimulation Lock the door, and place a sticky note outside the door, so people do not disturb you. Close curtains, dim the lights, or if you prefer, turn them off. Eliminate any visual objects like your phone, computer, tv, or electronic devices. Stay silent and relax You can sit or lie down. You can keep your eyes open or close. Take off your shoes and loosen up anything that feels tight in your body. If you have a blanket or throw wrap it around you. Begin to notice if you are holding on to stress on your body. If you feel tension, relax the area of the body that you are tensing. Stay quiet and notice the silence. If you want, you count your breaths backward, starting from six down to one. If you miss the count, start again. Stay in the room until you feel relaxed and grounded. Self-care matters Take time for self-care. Let go of guilt or shame if you need to take a break from others. Caring for you it will help you restore your energy. It is crucial that you pay attention to your needs and that you prioritize yourself. You will be able to be more productive, happier, and healthier. You will benefit and all the people around you too. One quote "Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges. So relax." Bryant McGill One question How much attention do you pay to your self-care? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:12
May 26, 2020
How to redirect stressful thoughts in challenging times
We are living in challenging times during a world pandemic. All of us are confronting new and unexpected difficulties for our generation. It is easy for our minds to only focus on our pain and want to have a quick fix when we feel powerless. We are feeling unsafe and we are not sure how to deal with it. But can we control what is happening? Dealing with frequent worries about our future can make us more impatient and demanding. We are creating additional stress about something we cannot change. Your mind could be screaming and demanding to feel safe again: “I want things to change now.” Today I want to talk to you about finding peace within the storm. There are mindful ways that we can cope when our difficulties and life circumstances feel limiting. It is all about not focusing on changing on the outside. You want to focus on the inside. Let us take a look at our thinking and find hope. Hope is a proven strategy that can help people with resilience. It can help us cope and deal better with challenging circumstances. Think about hope as a floating device that can help you keep your head above the water and stop you from drowning. How to invite hope Accept your feelings and emotions First, recognize that you are in a challenging situation and be ok with your feelings. Accept if you are afraid, worried, angry, or sad. You are human, and dealing with your difficult emotions is part of living. Accept your situation Whatever is the challenging situation that you are dealing with, don’t try to demand a change. Do not try to force in your mind for things to be different. You are not in control of the changes, and you will be just hitting a wall over and over again. Pick hopeful words Think about how you can redirect your energy and your thoughts to working in a hopeful way. Use words like “wishing” and “hoping.” Come up with a sentence or phrase that you can use to reaffirm your optimistic thinking. “I’m hoping for things to get better soon.” Observe your body and sensations As you repeat the phrase, bring your attention to your body. Notice how you feel as you say the words. Be attentive to how your energy shifts to hope, and you feel more calm and clear of mind. Final Thoughts Challenging our thinking is the best way to regain control of our inner peace. Finding hope is a positive intention that can lift you from despair and set you on a better track to serenity. One quote “Creating more hope is my soothing device when I want to calm my fears and come back to serenity.” – Tamy Khan One question How are you going to create more serenity and hope today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
06:57
May 25, 2020
How to ground yourself
If you are feeling scattered and stressed, take a pause and look at nature. The natural world can help anyone to return to a mental state that feels centered and balanced. In nature, we can find great examples of how to get stable and firmly established. A mind that feels too busy and overloaded can be landed like an aircraft. You can use nature as your pilot to help you stay grounded and stable. Grounding yourself could be as easy as finding a tree and doing these simple steps. I highly recommend you do this exercise barefoot. If you are not able to be barefoot, that is ok, you can use comfortable flat shoes. Steps Find a large tree that you can lean on. If you are able to find a tree, you can use a stable solid wall and visualize it as your tree. Come close to the tree and bring your back against. the tree. Align your spine gently and mindfully against the tree. Stay standing against the tree and hang out. take a few breathes and settle. Close your eyes, or keep your gaze still. If you feel any tension on your body, relax and adjust your body until you feel comfortable. Bring your attention to your breath and first focus on your exhalation. Exhale, feel your breath traveling down through your torso, legs, and feet. Move the breath down through your body and feel it entering the earth. In your inhale, the breath comes up from the ground through your body all the way to your nostrils. Do this exercise for 5 minutes or for as long as you have time for. Open your eyes and take a slow mindful walk on the grass or the ground around the tree. Complete the exercise and say thank you to your tree. One quote Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. - Albert Einstein One question for you: Do you have a mindful strategy that you like to do when you feel scattered? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
05:16
April 14, 2020
Reduce your worry and boost your immunity
There is evidence that if you are frequently worried you can weaken the immune system dramatically. When we get stressed, our immune system’s capacity to fight off antigens is reduced. That is why we are more susceptible to infections and disease. The stress hormone corticosteroid can suppress the effectiveness of our body’s immunity. If your mind is constantly feeling under stress, it keeps releasing cortisol. A high level of cortisol harms your physical and mental health. It’s vital for your well being to find ways to keep your stress under control. First, you must figure out how to reduce your worry and anxiety. Find stress management techniques to keep your immune system healthy and functioning the ways it’s meant to. Consider starting a daily meditation practice. Mindfulness has been proven to be a great strategy to reduce stress and improve health. Also, consider doing things that will boost your immunity. There are simple things that we can do that could help boost our immune system. One of them is to pay attention and activate our thymus gland. The thymus gland is the master gland of the immune system. It makes the cells that protect our bodies from immune diseases, allergies, and infections. This gland is in the upper part of your chest, behind the breast bone. It is right over your heart. Follow these simple steps to balance and activate your thymus gland. Please don’t do this exercise while driving. Find a quiet place and then follow the directions. Steps 1. Locate your thymus gland. Your thymus gland is part of your chest and is directly behind your sternum and between your lungs 2. With two fingers, tap the thymus gland for about 20-30 seconds. 3. While you are tapping your thymus gland, take full slow deep breaths. 4. Repeat this tapping technique three times a day. One quote Worry is a negative vibration that has a detrimental effect on your thinking and your health. It’s negative impact can affect your body and open the door to illness.  Worry less, live a healthier life. - Tamy Khan One question What have you done today to reduce your worries? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
05:06
April 14, 2020
Reduce stress and anxiety by focusing inwardly
Our lives are subjective to our mental states. If your mind is stressed and anxious, everything around you will feel the same. Your interactions with people and your world will be through the lenses of stress and anxiety. If you frequently feel stuck, and that is hard for you to think clearly, your mind could be overthinking due to stress. High levels of stress decrease your capacity to hold information and problem solve. If you experience anxiety, your account is even more cloudy, and problem-solving is harder for you. For cultivating a more balanced state of mind, consider focusing inwardly. Each person should have self-care breaks to look inside within themselves, like a mental health quick check-in. Focusing on looking inwardly is a proven mental health strategy to improve emotional well being. Here are three proven self- care strategies that you start doing today to reduce stress and anxiety. Focusing inwardly First strategy: Pay attention to your breath During your day set reminders and take three one minute breathing breaks. Just for one minute, focus on your breath. you can do this seated or standing. Observe each inhalation and exhalation meticulously. Feel the rise and fall of each breath for a minute. Second strategy: Pay attention to your emotions Before you take to lunch, find a comfortable seated position, and close your eyes. For one minute, place your hands on your chest and observe if you can sense emotion. Notice the sensations in your body and see if you can identify any feelings or emotions in your body. Stay with the sensations for one minute. Third strategy: Pay attention to body tension We tensed up through the day when we get stressed and anxious. Sometimes we don’t realize that we have been carrying a lot of body tension all day. Before going to bed, sit on your couch, and close your eyes. Focus inwardly and scan your body. Find areas in your body that you feel the tension. Stretch, or reposition your body. Relax the tightness and gripping of muscle tension on your body. Why pay attention Self-awareness By paying attention to your breath, your body, and your emotions, you will increase self-awareness about your stress and anxiety. As a result, you will notice when you are stressed quicker, and you will be able to take care of it. When you let go quickly of your stress you will reduce your anxiety and stay calmer. New brain connections You will also be teaching your brain to establish new connections that will create more balance in your central nervous system. The new connections will retrain your brain to start focusing more staying calm and feeling safe. You will be taking advantage of self- directed brain training and your mind will begin to learn that the stress response is counterproductive. Final thoughts Our mind, our breath and our body are frequently giving us signs that carry a message. A lot of the time, we ignore those messages. Self-care does not have to be complicated or expensive. The only thing you need to do is focus more inwardly. One quote: “My mind cannot hold two thoughts at the same time. I can take advantage of this by redirecting my mind’s focus. I have the power within me to redirect a fearful thought into a calming thought. “ Tamy Khan One question Which one of the strategies will be a good fit for you? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:28
April 14, 2020
Overvaluing our worries
It came as a shock to me the first time I realized that I believed everything that my mind says. As part of my meditation and mindfulness journey, I started to look at my thoughts and beliefs. One of the most limiting beliefs I held was that I assumed that everything my mind was saying was absolutely right. I never took the time to question the thoughts and the beliefs behind the ideas. Questioning my beliefs is one of the most life-transforming practices that I have been doing in my life. There are multiple ways to challenge your beliefs, for me, an easy way to do it is a take a pause and ask a question. One of the things that I have been working on is letting go of my worries. I use to catch my self worrying all the time about things that I didn’t have no control of. But mostly about the future. In my mind, I was always trying to create a forecast and prepare myself for bad things to happen. If you expect the worse, then you are prepared for it. Right? Now I feel very differently about my worries about the future. First, because I have read a lot on the subject and found plenty of research that validates that most of our fears are just fears in our heads, that will NEVER HAPPEN. Stay present I have realized that the only thing I have to do is deal with my present reality. This present moment is the one that matters. Living in the here and now is a lot less stressful. Now I enjoy the freedom of being able to let of my worries on the spot. Break the worry cycle I usually ask myself this question: Do you have control of this worry right now? If I have to guess almost always, the answer is no. Most of the concerns are about things I can’t do much about. Take action if possible If I can take action about what I am worried about, I act straight away so I can let go of it as soon as possible. Then I can continue with living my life. Pay attention to emotional wounds Sometimes worries can be attached to deep-seated fears and can trigger a profound emotional reaction. We all know the gut sensation or the knot on the throat feeling when the worry touches an emotional wound. In those moments, I find that it is beneficial to take a pause and connect with the emotion. Instead of feeding the worry, I connect with the sensations and reactions in my body. I feel the sensations and welcome them. Then I take a few deep breaths and let go of the worry. Change to better beliefs Today, I believe that most of my worry is unnecessary and is just my mind attaching to limiting beliefs from my past. My past cannot determine my future. Creating worry based on my past is a useless exercise. Letting go of my worries allows me to be calmer and have more mental balance. I chose emotional balance and inner peace instead of overvaluing my fears. My thoughts are not right all the time. My mind’s predictions tend to get it wrong most of the time. Changing to this new belief has proven to make me happier and more resilient in my life. One quote “Paying to much attention to your worries is a useless exercise that can drive you to having an unhappy life.” Tamy Khan One question What unnecessary worry has been driving you crazy today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
07:42
April 14, 2020
Dear mind, please be kind to me
A lot of our inner struggles come from a negative and self-critical mind. In our culture, there is a strong emphasis on comparing ourselves to others. This social comparison epidemic is making us unhappy. A critical mind is an unhappy mind You are always going to find someone that seems to have a better life than yours. The more you try to do, the more you compare, the more unhappy you feel. Your mind is the source of your unhappiness, not your circumstances. Look inside your mind and your thoughts if you want to find the source of your struggles. Your happiness depends on it. Build a kind mind If you want to sustain a happy mind, you must create a kind mind. A kind mind knows that … Envy and blame are toxic emotions. It is more important to be caring and loving than to be right. Regrets are defeated judgments, and focusing on life lessons is better. Being flexible and forgiving are strengths, not weaknesses. To build resilience, you have to be vulnerable. When you make mistakes, you grow. Unconditional love is the only real love. One quote: “Any hardship that you experience is a life lesson.” – Haemin Sunim One question for you: Has your mind been kind or unkind to you today? ----- If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review. If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
05:59
April 14, 2020