Happy Meditator - Practical Mindfulness and Meditation
By Tamy Khan
Happy Meditator - Practical Mindfulness and MeditationDec 18, 2020
Guided meditation for anxiety and regulating emotions
In this episode, I take you through guided practice to let go of stress, anxiety, and releasing emotions. Take a seat and listen to this relaxing meditation and let go of the stress and worries with mindfulness and open focus.
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How people sabotage their mindfulness meditation practice?
In this episode, I talk about overcoming obstacles in meditation. Many beginners that start meditation, get frustrated with their practice because of unrealistic expectations. These expectations can add unnecessary stress and frustration. There are beliefs that can interfere with practicing meditation, and I have learned a lot about them from my practice and teaching. Learn simple ways to overcome your meditation struggles and don't give up.
Quiet mind better sleep- Free Guide:
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Guided meditation for anxiety and quick relaxation
In this episode, I take you through effective quick meditation. This one could be very soothing to do when you are anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed. Finding yourself more calm, grounded, and balanced is as easy as spending 4 minutes on self-care. Take time today to practice this restoring meditation.
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Do you need help with your sleep? Follow the link below for my free step-by-step guide: Quiet Mind, Better Sleep Technique.
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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How to overcome your mind's fixation with bad things and tracking my negativity for a day
In this episode, I talk about how our mind is obsessed with finding negativity and forecasting things to go wrong. I also share my experience of tracking my negative thoughts and pessimism for a day. I created so much unnecessary stress with my thoughts for the entire day. I learned such valuable lessons from this simple exercise and learned about letting go of wanting to be correct.
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Need help with your sleep?
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes:
https://happymeditator.com/how-to-deal-with-automatic-negative-thoughts-even-when-you-dont-realize-you-have-them/
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Guided Body Mindfulness practice: How to deal with negative thoughts even when you don’t realize you have them
In this episode, I talk about negative thoughts and how they affect our bodies and mind. Most of our thoughts are automatic, and we don't realize the impact they have because we don't notice them. I also do a guided mindfulness practice that helps people notice the impact of their negative thinking. This short guided body and though practice can increase awareness and bring more mindfulness to our pessimistic thinking.
https://happymeditator.com/how-to-deal-with-automatic-negative-thoughts-even-when-you-dont-realize-you-have-them/
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Need help with your sleep? Use the link below to access the FREE guide: Quiet Mind, Better Sleep
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Guided meditation for anxiety and deep relaxation
In this episode, you are in for a mindfulness meditation treat. I guide you through a meditation practice focused on relaxing the body and letting go of tension. This type of guided meditation reduces anxiety, stress and creates a relaxation response. You can do this meditation during your day when you want to de-stress. It can also be a fantastic way to end your day and help you go to sleep more calmly.
If you want to take your sleep routine to a more mindful and calming level, check out my Free Quiet Mind Better Sleep Guide
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Is mindfulness meditation effective for anxiety and sleep during the pandemic?(Short guided meditation for sleep)
In this episode, I discuss a fascinating study done in Wuhan, China, during the Covid pandemic. The researchers explore if mindfulness meditation can help people get more sleep, reduce stress, and stay more present. I also do a short guided meditation for sleep.
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https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/is-mindfulness-meditation-effective-for-anxiety-and-better-sleep-during-the-pandemic/
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Is mindfulness meditation effective for better sleep during the pandemic? A recent published study gives us the answer
In this episode, I talk about fascinating research that was done during the current pandemic. This study looks into people's anxiety and sleep. I know people feel that the stress levels during the pandemic have been so high that maybe meditation can't keep its benefits. This study will show or not if mindfulness meditation is still beneficial and can withstand our uncertain stressful times.
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If the stress from the pandemic is not letting go to sleep, check out my Free Quiet Mind Better Sleep Guide:
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/is-mindfulness-meditation-effective-for-anxiety-and-better-sleep-during-the-pandemic/
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Mindfulness for beginners that want to stop mind chatter- 100th episode
The 100th episode of the Happy Meditator podcast is here! In this episode, I talk about the expectation to stop thoughts in mindfulness meditation. Listening to mind chatter in meditation is something that happens to everyone. Learning how to approach the thoughts holds the key to help meditators progress in their practice. This is an informal chat about mindfulness and how we can relate to our thoughts in meditation without getting irritated by them.
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If your chatter is disrupting your sleep, check out my FREE guide Quiet mind, better sleep:
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Mindfulness for beginners that struggle in meditation and with their inner critic
In this episode, I talk about the inner critic and how it can sabotage our meditation. Bringing mindfulness to our thoughts can help us silence this negative inner commentary that can stop us from practicing meditation. I also do a short guided mindfulness practice using our breath to help us disrupt self-criticism in meditation.
Quiet mind better sleep- Free Guide:
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes:
https://happymeditator.com/how-to-meet-your-inner-critic/
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How to do a mindfulness walking meditation for beginners (Guided meditation)
If you are feeling stressed, busy, or overwhelmed, join me for mindfulness walking meditation. This is a good practice for beginners or anyone that wants to release stress and calm down with movement. You can listen to this guided meditation when you go out for a short, slow walk. This is not a power walk, so keep that in mind when you select the place for your mindfulness practice. For this meditative walk, walk slowly without increasing your heartbeat. This meditation will focus on mindfulness of sensations and your five senses.
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Meditation for sleep:
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Mindfulness for beginners that struggle to sit in meditation
In this episode, I talk about a common struggle that beginners and non-beginner meditators have when they sit to practice mindfulness meditation, how to cope with the inner critic. The inner critic is that voice that you hear that distracts you and wants you to do something else instead of meditating. This inner commentary is judgemental and can feel like your own voice. This inner voice is not your voice. I will share how to distance yourself from it so it stops disrupting your meditation. Also, I will share a mindfulness strategy that beginners and non-beginner meditators can use to silence the inner critic. I finish the episode with guided mindfulness practice to show you the easy steps on how to stop the inner commentary that disrupts your meditation.
Is the inner critic is disrupting your sleep?
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes:
https://happymeditator.com/how-to-meet-your-inner-critic/
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If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
Guided meditation: Learn how to let go of stress and increase mindfulness of breath
In this episode, I guide you through a short meditation practice that is easy and great for beginners. For this practice, we'll focus on simple and relaxing breathing. This meditation comes from the yoga tradition and it's proven to have many health benefits. So go ahead, close your eyes, and enjoy this new guided meditation.
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Breathing meditation for sleep
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How to release pandemic stress with a very short guided meditation
In this episode, I talk about the mental health effects of the pandemic. Today We are all more emotionally vulnerable as we have been coping with a year of chronic stress. People with anxiety and depression have increased. Mindfulness can help us release stress and anxiety. Also on this episode, I guide a short mindfulness meditation that anyone can do in their midday to reduce stress and center mind and body.
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https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/pay-attention-to-mental-health/
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Guided meditation for anxiety
For this episode, I recorded a guided meditation for anxiety. When we feel anxious, our body gets tense. We create muscle tension and a lot of tightness through the entire body. For this meditation, I show you how to do deep progressive muscle relaxation. This relaxing meditation is a proven technique to help with anxiety and release stress responses in the body.
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Meditation for sleep: https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Mindfulness for beginners: How your negative bias creates stress
In this episode I talk about increasing self-awareness about our negative bias. We all create stress and limit ourselves because of limiting negative beliefs. Mindfulness strategies can help increase how we deal and cope with stress induced by negative biases. I also talk about using questions to create more mindfulness about stress and bring your mind to presence.
Meditation for sleep:
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes:
https://happymeditator.com/imaginary-stress/
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Guided Meditation: A Basic Breathing Meditation for Beginners
In this episode, I share a guided meditation that focuses on easy breathing. This meditation is ideal for beginners that don't know how or where to start their mindfulness journey. You can do this meditation lying down or seated. If you enjoy this episode and want more guided meditations, please leave me a comment or a review.
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Need help with your sleep? What about a breathing meditation?
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/how-to-emotional-suffering-is-created/
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How to use walking meditation to release fear
In this episode, I share a personal experience of releasing fear and stress management. Walking meditation is a mindfulness tool that can help with dealing with difficult emotions and anxiety. During my walk I observed my emotions, fears, and breath, to create a moving meditation.
Meditation for sleep: Quiet mind, better sleep guide.
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes:
https://happymeditator.com/how-i-release-fear/
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Overcoming struggles with mindfulness and self-compassion
In this episode, I share a pandemic struggle related to parenting. I talked about using mindfulness to increase self-awareness about worries and stress relief. During my personal struggle, I realized I needed to let go of trying to control things. Mindfully dealing with my struggles helped me see my emotional vulnerability and how I need to be more kind myself.
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Meditation for sleep:
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes:
https://happymeditator.com/our-struggles-are-not-slowing-down/
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Mindfulness Tip: Building good sleep habits
Since the pandemic, I noticed that my sleep has been inconsistent and less. I created a plan to fix my sleep. I put it into practice and the result surprised me...
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Meditation for sleep:
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/fixing-my-sleep/
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Mindful resilience: trust is everything
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Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/trust-is-everything/
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Breathing mindfulness to let go of self-criticism on the go
In this episode, I talk about using mindfulness to stop the negative inner dialogue we create when we are self-critical. I share stress and anxiety relief tips that you can use when you feel you are a failure. The on-the-go practice applies meditation techniques that focus on breathwork and mindfulness of sensations.
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Meditation for sleep:
Quiet Mind Better Sleep Technique
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/im-a-failure/
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Using mindfulness to stay happy
In this episode, I share the most asked question about being a happiness and mindfulness coach. How do I stay happy? I answered this question by describing how I created my definition of happiness based on applying mindfulness principles: living in the present moment, mindfulness of positive emotions, and developing a growth mindset.
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Meditation for sleep:
Download Quiet Mind Better Sleep
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Show Notes:
https://happymeditator.com/happiness-is-homemade/
Manage your emotions with morning mindfulness
In this episode, I talk about using mindfulness to reduce emotional reactivity and increase mental balance. Beginning your morning mindful can set the tone for your day and help you start with more equanimity. I share tips about using mindful awareness as soon as you wake up and how to continue throughout your day.
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Show notes:
https://happymeditator.com/reduce-emotional-reactivity/
Meditation for sleep:
Quiet mind, better sleep technique
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Mindfulness at work: Supporting teams with chronic stress and burn out
In this episode, I talk about the pandemic effects of chronic stress and employee burnout. Mindfulness leadership can provide a positive strategy for change and support in the workplace during our challenging times. Any employee can become a change agent to improve company culture on helping others with stress reduction. Mindfulness brings elements of compassion, empathy, and resilience that can be helpful for employees dealing with burnout.
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Meditation for sleep:
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/we-are-all-chronically-stressed/
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Mindfulness at work: Self-care for parents
In this episode, I take about the growing and fast-changing challenges that parents are coping with within pandemic times. Remote work has helped with some aspects but also created additional problem parents. The long haul of the pandemic is putting pressure on parents to stay working and keep the ongoing demands of their children's education and family needs. I share mindfulness tips to help parents prioritize self-care.
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Show notes
https://happymeditator.com/parenting-in-stressful-times/
Meditation for sleep:
Quite mind better sleep technique
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Mindfulness at work: Empathy training to support your team
In this episode, I talk about remote work and social disconnection in teams. Employees are having difficulties with team engagement and support due to social restrictions from the pandemic. Mindfulness leadership brings empathy to the workplace. Empathy can be a powerful tool for improving communication in remote teams. Any employee can take action and bring more mindfulness and empathy to work. Listen to this episode for simple tips on empathy training for remote work.
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/what-about-empathy/
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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How to use mindfulness for emotional challenges
In this episode, I talk about the emotional challenges that we all have been through in 2020. After a tough year, we could be feeling overwhelmed with emotions and sadness. Challenging how we feel about difficult emotions can help us cope better with them. What if we accept our sadness and difficult emotions? What if we use meditation, mindfulness, and compassion?
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Meditation for sleep:
Quiet Mind Better Sleep technique
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/fighting-your-sadness/
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Embracing gratitude and meditation in 2021
In this episode, I talk about my challenges in closing 2020. I did an unscripted episode to share how I'm feeling with the uncertain times and pandemic restrictions right now. I have two pillars that sustained in 2020 and they are coming with me in 2021, mindfulness and gratitude. Listen to this episode to learn how I apply appreciation and mindful attention to my current situation.
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Meditation for sleep:
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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How to use a meditation mantra for limiting beliefs and worry
When worries, anxiety, and fear take over your mind, it can feel overwhelming and hard to ignore. Dwelling on difficulty or troubles can cloud your mind, and it could feel hard to think clearly. Consider using this mantra in your meditation:” I can step forward into a threatening situation, and I will handle it.”
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Meditation for sleep:
Quiet Mind Better Sleep Technique
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/how-to-talk-to-your-worries-and-anxiety/
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If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
The happiness trend that aligns with mindfulness
In this episode, I talk about minimalism as the new happiness trend. Minimalists are the new in-crowd. They are approaching life with happy principles that can be found in mindfulness philosophy, meditation, Buddhism, and positive psychology.
Here are some highlights from the episode:
- Be a happy minimalist: Love life, not stuff
- Buy experiences: Live now
- Mindfully treasure the moments: Observe and notice the special and mundane everyday events
- Spend money wisely: Focus on meaningful relationships
- Less stuff, more mindfulness: Meditation room
- Decluttering and a mindful bedroom
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Show notes:
https://happymeditator.com/2504490-2/
Meditation for sleep:
Quiet Mind Better Sleep Guide
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review.
If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
Using meditation to increase positivity and hope
In this episode, I talk about using meditation as a path to increase emotional awareness. A consistent meditation practice can grow a deeper understanding of yourself and how you deal with emotions. Many obstacles can interfere with sustaining a meditation practice, but you must commit to it. Meditating can help anyone increase their emotional intelligence and create more positivity.
What about positivity and meditation?------
Meditation for sleep and mindfulness guide:
Quiet Mind Better Sleep
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/one-meditation-struggle-that-you-can-overcome/
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Meditation for anxiety: what to do when shit happens
You can spend your life trying your best to be a healthy person. You can eat right, only organic products, work out, take supplements, and have a healthy weight. At night you get 8 hours of sleep. You daily drink eight glasses of water, stay away from sugar and processed foods. You do not smoke, don’t do drugs, and drink alcohol responsibly.
You faithfully follow the doctor’s orders and never miss your yearly annual medical check-ups. You ensure you stay away from harmful chemicals, use products to clean your home free from toxins, and do daily brain exercises. You do your best and still shit happens to you.
You get anxious. Why is this happening? You feel even more anxious. I don't deserve this?
Meditation tips: what to do when shit happens:
- Breathe Meditation
- Mindfulness and Centering your thoughts
- Welcome the shit mindfully
- Open up and chose your reaction
- Meditation mantra:” I’m only taking care of this temporarily; I have no ownership. “
Show notes:
https://happymeditator.com/when-shit-happens/
***Free guide Quiet Mind Better Sleep Technique and Meditation***
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Mindfulness for beginners: How you create emotional suffering
Daily, we deal with situations that bring us dissatisfaction and disappointments. Everyday events have an impact on our mood and how we feel about life. Some days can feel more satisfactory and positive than others. Maybe you think that you were lucky, blessed, that the stars align for you, you had a good day. On the other hand, when you feel that you had a miserable day, you think that people were wrong, that you had a curse, and luck was against you.
What if I challenged that interpretation of the reasons? What if your perception was the only thing that created a good day or a snot so good day?
If you could recall the last day, you felt you had a good day. What happened on that day? Reminisce about what were the things that made your day feel satisfactory to you. On that day, events that evolve suit your preferences, and you felt connected with positive emotions. Very possibly, you felt joy, serenity, safety, and support.
Maybe it was one or more situations that made you feel that it was a joyous day. The moments, people, and situations matched your expectations on what is satisfying for you, even if not all, things were great, you perceived it as a happy day.
Recall a day that you felt was a miserable day. Try to remember what situations transpire that made it a not-so-good day. It is likely that your recall connecting with fear, sadness, loneliness, and anger.
A powerful zen meditation storyThere is an old Zen story called the second arrow. In this story, a master is talking to a disciple about emotional suffering.
The master asked the student:
“If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful? If the person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?”
He then went on to explain,
“In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. This second arrow is optional.”
If you feel that a day was an unhappy day, you decided to shoot a second arrow. When a disappointing or unsatisfactory situation arose in your day, you chose to interpret it as an adverse event that you had to resist. You decided to create emotional suffering; it was not the event itself. It was how you chose to see it.
Our emotional suffering is a choice when we interpret a situation that we have learned to repel. Everything that you experience is unique to your way of interpretation. The same event can have an opposite or different reaction to other people.
Use your meditation to reflect on this:
It is critical to understand that most times, we do not have control of the first arrow. You and I do not have control of many external factors and people that intercept our lives. That first arrow can cause pain. The second arrow is how we chose to react to the pain that just hit us. As this double arrow is optional, we have control of our reaction.
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Meditation for sleep
Free Guide Better Sleep Technique
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/how-to-emotional-suffering-is-created/
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If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
Mindfulness for beginners: How to deal with irrational inner dialogue
I worked with people with Dementia as a health care manager. I learned a lot about mental illness from this devastating illness. This brain illness affects cognitive functioning, thinking, and sufferers can struggle to communicate effectively. Some patients I used to work with had an ongoing out loud dialogue that didn’t seem to have a switch offsetting.
Their relatives described their conversations as irrational and disconnected. For many, they struggled to make sense of what their loved ones were talking out loud.
Sometimes I sat and listened to the Dementia patients’ monologues. I wanted to see if I could make sense of them. Some monologues were about conversations they seem to have with someone from their past. Other times they seem to be about an inner dialogue that they were having with themselves. This inner dialogue reminded me of my internal conversations with myself.
Possibly you can relate to this experience of listening to an inner voice that narrates your opinions, likes, and dislikes. This voice tells you how you feel about situations that trouble you and is also very specific about justifying disagreements with others. No matter how aware or not you are of this voice, it is always there. The more aware I have become of it, the more I think it does not have a switch off the button.
One of the key factors I noticed from listening to these out loud dialogues of dementia patients is that they aren’t that different from my own. Theirs seem to be mostly about the past; mine will also focus on my history and ignore the present.
This conclusion got me thinking: Is my inner dialogue also irrational?
Mindfulness Tips:
1. The power of a meditation mantra
2. One meditation story: Maybe
3. Bring mindfulness to your situation
4. Let it go mindfully
5.. One mindful meditation question: What problem are you dealing with that you could let go with a “Maybe”?
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Meditation for sleep.Download Our Free Guide: How to Release Stress and Enjoy Peaceful Sleep Every Night
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/how-to-emotional-suffering-is-created/
If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review.
If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
How to bring mindfulness and meditation to worry
Last week I came across this very interesting research published on the psychology today website about worry. A clinical study done with people from 18-59 years old concluded that most people worry about the same things. The most popular categories for worrying are personal relationships, work, financial, aimless future, and lack of confidence. Around 75% of these worries revolve around situations that may happen right now or in the future...
How to unlock yourself from the worry trapEarlier, I gave you a clue of what could be an excellent strategy to increase self-awareness about your worrying addiction. I mentioned how our mind spends more time worrying in the evening hours when you are in our bedroom. Consider paying more attention to what is going on in your mind. Listen to what your inner dialogue is talking about between 9 pm to 3 am. Focus and mindfully listen to what stories your mind is narrating at these crucial hours.
Bring mindful awareness to your worries and use this question on your meditation
Self-awareness is the simple exercise of just paying attention and noticing what is happening. Starting tonight, take a break and observe what your thoughts are saying. Use this meditation question: What is the content and ideas that my mind is focusing on?
Meditation and mindfulness guide: Quiet Mind Better Sleep
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Show notes: https://happymeditator.com/where-to-find-your-worry-trap/
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How to use a mindfulness shortcut for stress and challenges
There are no disagreements that we are living through challenging times. Challenges can increase stress levels and make us re-establish priorities in our lives. Usually, when we talk about stress, we only think about the negative side of stress. But what about the positive side of stress? Is there a positive side to feeling stressed?.
Tips:
Using a mindfulness meditation shortcutToday I want to share a new way with you to find a way to shift from negative stress to positive. One simple mindful tool that you can use to create an opportunity to grow from a challenge is to use a question to open up the mind to look at new perspectives.
The question is a mental shortcut that brings negative thinking into an open mind of new opportunities. I have always found it useful in my life and for my clients to ask questions to disrupt the thinking from focusing on worries and fears.
Meditate on: How can I find growth in this challenge?You can learn from any difficulty by changing into a new inclination. Reframing what is you as something you need to afraid of and instead open up to an opportunity to be more resilient is how you build positivity. This is a growth mindset that goes beyond staying superficially positive. This positivity is proven to make people thrive and create sustainable happiness that will remain with you throughout your lifetime.
For the show notes please click on this link: https://happymeditator.com/one-shortcut-to-reframe-stress/
Meditation for sleep:
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
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Mindfulness tips: Dealing with toxic habits
Yesterday my husband called to tell me about a situation he observed while he stopped his car at a gas station to check his phone. At the same time, another vehicle parked next to him.
The driver caught his attention. He noticed a man carefully putting on a mask and gloves. Then the man got out of the car and went inside the convenience store at the gas station. He did take long and was quickly back in his vehicle within a few minutes. My husband then observed that he carefully took his gloves off and mask, got some hand sanitizer, and rubbed it in his hands and face. After doing all the sanitation, he lowered his window, light up a cigarette, and started smoking.
Tips:
Bring mindful awareness to:
- Internal conflict spiral
- Toxic self-criticism
Bring meditation and non-judgment:
- Saying yes to Self-love
- Mindfulness and changing habits
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Meditation for sleep:
https://happymeditator.com/quiet-mind-better-sleep/
For the show notes please click on the link below:
https://happymeditator.com/2504448-2/
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If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
Stress relief: Free yourself from pessimism
Have someone ever told you: “Don’t be so negative, be happy! “
Did you find it useful? Research on optimism forecast that the most common answer is no. Happy is a word that people use to force optimism. Just because someone said “be happy” does not give you the tools to deal with a situation that you are feeling pessimistic.
For the show notes please click on this link: https://happymeditator.com/3-ways-to-free-yourself-from-pessimism/
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A healing story about hate and how to overcome it
I want to share with you today a healing story that I recently came across and shocked me to my core. This extraordinary story shows the infinite power of our imagination, and we can overcome anything if we can use our imagination. Hate can also be beaten if we keep trying and don't give up. This is the true story of French poet Robert Desnos.
https://happymeditator.com/blog/
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Mindfulness for beginners that worry too much
Every day we encounter an unlimited amount of things that we decide significant enough to spend some time worrying about. Your health, other people’s health, job, other people’s jobs, future, and other people’s future. Where will you be in your life without your worries?
If you enjoy watching TV, following local, national, and international news, including social media, you will promote more fear and trigger even more worries.
You know very well that worries are essential, valuable, trustworthy, and always accurate. When you worry, you know that something terrible could happen, and it must be prevented from happening.
The worries that you encounter, you must pay attention to them. Whatever concern appears in your mind, It doesn’t matter if you can do something or nothing about it; you need to listen to it. You have to focus on all worries because they will lead you eventually to the road of inner peace. Worrying reduces your stress and increases your well-being.
The most crucial fact about worries is that the more based your actions on them, the more you get rid of them. The more you work with following your fears, then you will eventually get rid of them for good.
Being worry-free will give you a stress-free life. The word worry will not be a part of your life anymore. I know a lot of people that agree with these statements. They all have experienced this and can testify about their transformation. They all say that they have to remove fear from their minds, and everything is going according to their expectations.
Finally, all that hard work of taking care of their worries has paid off. If you also keep at it, you will experience this fantastic result. You will be able to experience life with total ease.
Sadly I know that there are people out there that disagree with what I’m describing. They’re many behaviors and happiness experts that state that worrying doesn’t work.
There is this little book by Roger Hargreaves that shines a light on this opposite perspective about worry. In this book, he explains how it is not possible to get rid of worry. The book is called Mr. Worry. I’m going to tell you a little about the story from this book, so you can decide whether you agree or not.
Mr. Worry worries about everything. If it rains, he worries about his roof leaking, but he worries that his plants will die if it doesn’t rain. When he goes shopping, he worries that the shops will close before he gets there. When he shops, then he worries about spending money. One day, he meets a wizard that offers to help him. The wizard asked him to write a list of all his worries and promised him that none of the things from the list would happen to Mr. Worry. The wizard grants the wish, and the promise comes true.
After being liberated from his worries, Mr. Worry smiles for the first time in a long time! BUT the story doesn’t end there. Can you guess what happened? Eventually, Mr. Worry starts worrying because he has nothing to worry about!
Just in case that worry is not working in your life, consider your options. You can continue focusing on them and see if they eventually pay off, or you can see if you can find a wizard with better powers than the one that tries to help Mr. Worry, or you can see if you can find healthier ways to cope with your worry.
For the show notes: https://happymeditator.com/has-worrying-been-helpful-to-you/
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How to create sustainable happiness
For show notes please visit: https://happymeditator.com/how-to-create-sustainable-happiness/
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Stress management: Factors that we ignore when making decisions
Research studies about the decision-making process found that many things we ignore are vital factors when deciding. When I found out about these essential determinators, I was surprised. Knowing about these factors got me thinking about changing my beliefs about decision-making. Also, it gave a chance to bring mindfulness into the picture as a path to build a more wholesome perspective.
Things that seem universal and truth full to me and you are just a result of our perception. When we assume that something is universal and that everybody agrees on common sense, we are living a lie. Some factors that influence our decisions have to do more with who you are than just common sense.
I think it is crucial for anybody who cares about their decision-making to consider these issues. Let’s begin with the factors that we ignore and may overlook. Here are some of the most common things that we ignore and contribute to our decision making.
- Body depletion: Being hungry, tired, and depleted of energy.
- Information manipulation: Accepting and believing information that has is distorted and manipulated to make you think that you have a problem that doesn’t exist.
- Emotional urgency: Rushing and not thinking things through because your emotions have blinded your mind.
- Social support- Feeling a lack of support and social connection from people you care about and are significant to you.
- One point of view: Only looking at problems and solutions from your limited perspective and being closed to other perspectives.
After familiarizing myself with these factors, and wanted to simplify the decision-making process. I collected more information and created a Mindful decision making checklist that you can follow to stay more mindful in your decision making.
For the mindful guide checklist visit: https://happymeditator.com/the-mindful-guide-to-decision-making/
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Mindfulness for beginners: How to train a compassionate brain
In everyday life, we come across behaviors that we see in people that we dislike. Whether we find them disgusting, irritating, irrational, or obnoxious, we are judging these people. We are judging them, and we like to put them in the category of people that we don’t like
A lot of the time, we create stories to validate the reason why we dislike them so much. Where is he going that needs to be in such a hurry? She didn’t have someone that taught her good manners… These people are dumb and do not have any common sense.
GuiltyWe are all guilty of judging others. The more we do it, the more we begin to create a distance from “those people” and consider them “not my kind of people.”
The science of happiness has been promoting that we need to cultivate more trust to build happiness chemicals in our brains. The more we connect with people, we feel a sense of trust; we produce more oxytocin and mental resilience.
OxytocinOxytocin is a hormone that is essential for our happiness. If you want to increase oxytocin, you might want to consider reducing social judgments.
Research on compassion and kindness practices indicate these practices lessen bias against these stigmatized out-groups. In our world full of discrimination and separation between groups, we have started with what we can control ourselves.
But how do we stop creating separation ?A year ago, I learned this mindful compassion exercise that I like to use when I catch myself judging others. I can’t remember where I came across it, but it an effortless practice that is very useful. I like to do this practice to reduce criticism whenever I judge a stranger with an external behavior that I notice.
Most commonly, I do this practice when I’m driving, waiting in line, or when I become in contact with someone I do not know. This an intentional practice that cuts through the judgment on the spot and moves you towards creating a positive connection. By creating more connections we reduce the separation gap.
Steps Notice your judgmentThe first step is to notice that I started judging a stranger. I bring attention to criticizing a behavior. I stop and take a pause. I do not continue the judgments. I begin the compassion practice by repeating the phrase “Just like me.”
Notice something you can relate toIf I notice a characteristic that I can relate to, I will acknowledge it and then repeat the phrase” just like me”.
For example, Another person that is driving to get to an important place, just like me. Another woman is trying to complete her errands for today, just like me. An elderly driver, just like my father in law, trying to go somewhere, just like me.
I tend to find it beneficial to relate the person to someone I love and know that I’ll be more kind, loving, and patient.
Find more connections to youI mentioned other factors that could contribute to someone behaving in a certain way that I will find understandable to justify their behavior.
This person may be sad, confused, overwhelmed, or sick. This person wishes not to be in pain or suffering, just like me. This person wants love, health and happiness, just like me
Closing the practiceI complete the exercise by sending kindness and compassion. May you be safe, healthy, and happy.
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Mindfulness for beginners: How to clear emotional clutter
I had a special and caring Aunt that passed away a few years ago. She used to collect many mementos and old objects. Her house has full of ceramics, pictures, and trinkets. Most objects were from positive memories, but there was one thing that I remembered that was a painful memory.
Her first husband died in a tragic car accident. He passed over thirty years ago, and she kept a picture of him in her bedroom. The photo was the emotional clutter that reminded her of an abusive husband. Whenever she talked about him, her mood and her body language changed. You could see the pain and suffering on her face.
Your heart remembersMy Aunt’s situation is not an isolated one. Many people keep things in their home that they remind them of negative or tragic memories from their past. These items become emotional clutter that keeps them holding on to their past suffering. Keeping those items will keep stuck in those unpleasant and sometimes harrowing memories.
I want to invite you to get rid of emotional clutter from your past. If you look at your bedroom, home, and closet, do you have any times to connect you with emotionally painful memories? If your answer is yes, you keep garbage that blocks your happiness and is cluttering your present.
There could also be things that you don’t think are painful or negative, but they are. Maybe you are holding on to clothes for years that do not fit you because you hope you will lose weight. Whenever you see these items, you feel ashamed about your body and start a self-critical spiral. It can be any item that brings you down and connect you with negative judgment and disturbs your inner peace.
If you are unsure if you have any of these items around you, it is easy to find out if you do. When you see or hold these emotional cluttering objects in your hands, you feel tired, depressed, angry, and overwhelmed. You can sometimes feel very uncomfortable emotions arising and overtaking your heart.
A practical way to release emotional baggage from our past is to do it by getting rid of mementos that connect with painful memories. If you feel that you are frequently thinking about your past situations that block your inner peace and happiness, consider this releasing practice.
Mindfulness practice: Releasing your past- Go through your mementos and other items that you feel are keeping you down. Grab the items and hold them. Take time to go through your bedroom, closet, attic, garage, storage unit, and your home. Please take a look at the things you are keeping and hold them to see what emotional reaction you get.
- Talk to the objects and tell them why you are keeping them. Say it out loud if you want or in your mind, and connect with the reason you have for keeping the item.
- After reconnecting with the objects, decide which items you are going to throw away. All the things you feel are keeping your stuck to a negative past put them to the side. Dispose of the item to heal and empower you to move on with your life. You can destroy, chopped, break or burn the object if you think that will get you to release the past. You can also donate or recycle the items if you think it will help you know that your history will help others.
- Complete the exercise by placing around you items that remind yourself about loving memories. Take out and display things that you found in this declutter and place them where you can see them, touch, and hug them. Surround yourself with items that make you connect with love and remind you of a safer and happier life now.
If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
Mindfulness for beginners: how to handle frustrations with people
Mental clutter is created by wasteful worries and situations that keep repeating in our minds with no positive outcome. We keep going on and on in circles about situations that we feel frustrated about, but we do not resolve, or we can’t resolve. All these obsessions are about things being the way we want, when we want, and how we want them. These thoughts generate a lot of waste and clutter our minds.
One way to reduce mental clutter is to begin to notice it and work towards getting rid of it. The same way that clean your fridge and get rid of things past their due date, the same way you get rid of your mental clutter. You can begin releasing frustrations that are taking too much room in your mind, and you are not getting any positive outcome by keeping them in your head.
There is one massive frustration that I want to invite you today to begin your decluttering journey. This one is one of the most frustrating things that we all do, which creates many build-ups. This clutter is attached to our close relationships, and we tend to work on it obsessively every day. I’m talking about our obsession with fixing someone else.
Sometimes we get so hung up on wanting people to change that we don’t realize how much we suffer from this mental clutter. In your mind, you are sure that your partner, husband, spouse, children, mom, or dad need to change so you can let go. You have convinced yourself that they are doing something that bothers and frustrates you and they must stop,
You feel very genuine and truthful about your good intention to get them to change. You express your perspective the best way you can, but they are not interested in changing. Your frustrations build every day because their way and habit keep bothering you. You feel upset, and negativity builds up. Your frustrations become your mental clutter.
Two people are holding on to their point of view, with no desire to change their minds. Two wanting to be right in a situation are also creating more clutter. We can call this type of mess, relationship clutter. This situation harms the relationship. When you keep repeating that they are wrong, you are blocking your inner peace and adding suffering.
How to release the mental clutter?- Pick a person in your life that keeps feeling frustrated because you believe that they are wrong, and you are right.
- Remind yourself about the behavior that disrupts your inner peace. Connect with your mind and body’s feelings and sensations when you observe them doing the act of saying what you dislike.
- Ask yourself: How is this situation wearing me out?
- Assume that the other person will never change this behavior. Then ask yourself: What will be the best thing for me to regain my inner peace? What do I need to do to release this mental clutter?
- Establish your action plan and put it into practice. Release the mental clutter today and allow your mind to focus on more productive things for your mental well-being.
Here is today’s quote:
“Better believe it, those in pursuit of Happiness can’t expect to remain unchanged.”
Efrat Cybulkiewicz
And my one question for you is…
What are you waiting to start your decluttering journey?
If you like this podcast, please subscribe or leave a review. And if you would like more information or want to CONNECT with me, visit happymeditator.com.
Mindfulness for sleep: Learn how to stop running after your thoughts
Disrupting your stressful thoughts could be a crucial factor in improving your sleep. Ensuring that you get the sleep you need could hold the key to your overall wellbeing. Difficulties with sleep are associated with depression and anxiety.
Mental health problems are also associated with an overactive mind. An overactive mind that spends to much time stressed, worrying, and overthinking the same fearful thoughts.
The more your mind keeps going around in a circle on the same worries, the more unruly the mind becomes. We all need to learn to put our minds to rest. Sleep helps to recharge the brain but doesn’t help with placing the mind to rest.
Commonly, people that suffer from excessive worry and overthinking have difficulties with sleep. Sometime they can’t go to sleep as their mind is still running around on high alert mode. They tend to wake up in the middle of the night and can not go back to sleep.
Training your mind to rest is a way to reduce repetitive thinking and get your thoughts slow down. If you care about your well-being and sleep, you need to pay more attention to what is going on in your mind.
Reducing overthinking begins with increasing self-awareness about your repetitive thinking. Knowing when you get inside the hamster wheel of your repetitive worries may hold the key for finding better sleep and inner peace.
Observe the mindOne crucial thing that you can begin doing today is to pay attention to your thoughts when you do simple routine tasks. I’m talking about when you shower, brush your teeth, drive your car or when you do the dishes. When we do these everyday tasks, our minds start and go very active in the overthinking and worry mode.
Commonly, most people do not realize that we are running after our thoughts all day and night. The mind is overthinking and running wild without ever stopping to take a break. These mental races can promote brain overload that increases stress levels with no positive outcome.
This mind overactivity continues until nighttime, and your mind does not know how to stop when its time to go to sleep. This running race disrupts your sleeping patterns. If you want to improve your sleep and your sleep quality, you must train your mind and get it to slow down.
Begin with paying attention to your daily routine and actively disrupt your mind from running wild. To stop running after your thoughts, you need to disengage the mind from useless thinking.
Stop running after your thoughts.- When your mind is racing, visualize a large red stop sign. See the stop sign, and move back your attention to whatever task you are doing. If you are driving, hold your wheel with a tighter grip, look at the road, and notice what is happening.
- Pay attention to your five senses. Depending on the task you are doing, use your five senses, and continue focusing on the task. If you are brushing your teeth, notice the toothpaste’s taste or the toothbrush's sensations in your gums. Hold the toothbrush and notice how your fingers are gripping it.
- Keep disrupting your stressful thinking during your day. Repetition is vital to get it to stick. You might have to do these five, twenty, or a hundred times. It doesn’t matter how many times you have to do it; the important thing is that you keep disrupting your mind and stop running after useless thoughts.
This exercise is a mindfulness technique that helps with mind training and brings your mind to the present moment. This technique will help you stay mindful in your day and at night. Practice daily to increase awareness about your mind and your thoughts. If you want to improve your sleep, you must pay attention to the racing thoughts that disrupt your sleep.
If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
Mindfulness for beginners: Build your confidence by reducing mind wandering
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could stay attuned to the present moment? Wouldn’t it be great if you could feel confident in expressing your thoughts and feelings? Are self-confidence and mindfulness linked?
Many people find it challenging to staying present in conversations. Their mind wanders to their worries and can’t stay connected. Staying present is not something that comes naturally to us.
Staying in tune with the present is an ideal state of being and is not permanent. It comes and goes all the time. One determining factor about our absent mind is that it spends a lot of time in the future and the past. If you tend to feel low on confidence, your mind is wandering more than you think.
The more your mind wanders, the more you are prone to revisiting memories from your past that connect with a lack of confidence. The lack of confidence also reflects when your mind travels to the future. You could be thinking that history will repeat itself and worry excessively about the future event going wrong. One thing that can help you with confidence is to practice staying present during conversations with people.
Have you ever been in conversation, and your mind starts wandering, and then you realized that you don’t have a clue about what the other person is talking about? We all have been there.
I remember how it feels to be in this uncomfortable situation. You feel awkward, and then you have to figure out if you pretend that you are following the conversation or face the problem and tell the person you were not listening. Also, this situation will not help with confidence around people. Wouldn’t it be better if you were able to stay present?
A simple way of building more confidence is to train your mind to stay present. Become a better mindful listener, and you will increase your confidence. Good listeners are more successful, better employees, better parents, and more supportive partners and spouses. When you improve your listening skills, you will become more trustworthy and get better at problem-solving.
Here are mindfulness practice for staying present in conversations:
- Remove distractions: Ensure that electronics, reminders, and phone alerts are turned off if you can put your phone out of your reach.
- Mindful posture: Face the person you re-talk to and align your body posture, so it’s comfortable and open. Do not cross your arms, legs, or slouch. Keep your spine erect, and chest open and shoulders relaxed. Look at the person and keep eye contact.
- Mindful attention: Your mind will inevitably wander in any conversation. When you notice that this happens, take a pause and slow your breath. You can take three slow breaths and keep your attention on the person.
- Less talking and more listening: Do not give your opinion unless you ask you for it. Do your best to listen and stay attentive to only giving feedback that indicates that you are paying attention to the other person. Be comfortable with pauses and quiet when the other person is talking. I like to nod my head and stay silent. There is nothing wrong with a little silence and pausing in conversations.
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If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
Mindfulness for parents: Pay attention and stop your negative self-talk
The other day I was driving to the grocery store, and suddenly a memory from an accident that happened to my son came to mind. I started remembering this painful event, and straight away, I noticed feeling negative about myself. I began to feel insecure about my parenting as I still blame myself for my son’s injury.
Connecting with the problematic memories made me realized that I still have not resolved and healed from this event. As any parent, I deal with situations that bring me to doubt my parenting skills. Sometimes I tend to find it more challenging to deal with negative self-talk in these parenting issues.
Maybe you find this too. Perhaps you also have noticed that specific memories or situations can trigger negative self-talk in your life. Usually, they are about the things that we feel the need to be perfect and judge ourselves harshly because we think we have failed. This self-criticism can also be things related to our identity, moral principles, or values.
There is a mindful solution that I use, and you can use it too to cope with negative self–talk. Whether the inner voice is talking about your parenting, work, relationships, or self-control, you can use this mindful technique. Every time that we bring mindfulness to a challenge, it always starts with listening to our inner dialogue.
A mindful solution- Journal: Write down the event and the words that come to mind during your negative inner dialogue. For example, it will look like I was driving, and my mind wandered to memory about a painful event with my son. My internal dialogue was: You should have done better. You are responsible for what happened. You failed as a mother.
- Mindful attention: Bring your attention to your body and notice how you feel as you write these words. Write down whatever comes to mind.
- Write the opposite though: Think about changing your perception and phrase it the opposite way. “I did the best I could at the time. I’m not responsible for what happened. I didn’t fail as a mother’. As you write these opposite statements, notice what feeling and emotions arise. Keep writing down how you feel as you connect with these sentences.
- Finish with writing down your lessons: Look at the bright side of what happened and reflect on personal growth and how you will do better next time.
Here is today’s quote:
“Beautify your inner dialogue. Beautify your inner world with love, light, and compassion. Life will be beautiful.”
Amit Ray
And my one question for you is…
How often is your negative self-talk disrupting your inner peace?
If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe and/or leave a review.
If you'd like more information or want to connect with me, visit https://happymeditator.com/
Mindfulness everyday: How to live with intentional joy
Today I had a bunch of errands and plans I wanted to complete. Last night, I set my alarm clock to wake up one hour earlier as I wanted to start my day with a run. Recently I have set the intention to invest more time to pay more attention to joy in my life. I’m intentionally focusing in find more meaningful things every day.
Even though our days today look different, we are still busy, and dealing with a lot in everyday life. More than ever it is vital to take time to do the things that bring meaning and value to our life.
Setting this joyful intention has helped with finding more mental and physical energy. I have been doing three things to bring more joy daily. I will share with you today how these three simple things have been enriching my life and hope that you can add them to yours. If these actions do not resonate with you, please find other and customize your intentional joy.
Three joyful energy boosters:- Create more community connections
Today, as I went for my run, I came across 20- 25 people. The trail that I went for my run was busy. In my journey, I said good morning to everybody that crosses my path. Usually, I get quite a good number of replies back. But for some reason, today, I only got three. Yes, only three. I was not getting many verbal responses, and it got me thinking if it was worth it.
I came to the following conclusion. I still think it was valuable to say good morning to everybody this morning in my run. Even though the number of people who replied was low, I could still connect to three people they replied. Two of them gave two big smiles. I got three community connections, and I connected three times with trust and joyful energy. I also gave the same gift to the people that replied. Maybe even the people that didn’t respond also got a connection.
- Connecting with Nature
Every day I sit outside on my deck, back yard, or porch. Today, I sat on my porch to work on writing some blog posts. As I was sitting, I noticed so many bugs, bees, and unusual insects. Whenever I saw a one, I stopped typing, I observed the insect, followed what it was doing, and admired their beauty.
Amazingly, all these were all so beautiful, delicate, and fascinating to watch. Connecting with nature is something that I love to do because It reminds me it is critical to stop, pause, and admire beautiful things.
- Keeping track of the people that support me
Every day I have been intentionally paying attention to the people in my life that support me in the small, routine, or simple things. Daily I notice the person who put the groceries in my car. This person drops off our daily package deliveries, the person who complimented my mask, the person who washed my car, the person who answers the phone at the dentist office, the person who sends me a check for payment for my work, the person who smiled at me and said thank you.
When my kids give a hug, and I love you and a thank you. When my husband helps with business and people attend my classes and online programs.
I write all of these events in my gratitude journal. They remind me of the goodness in my life. I can now see clearly how each day I get tons of support and help from people. The more I look, the more I find.
One quote ― Adrienne Enns“I believe that joy is at the core of my being. I know the joy I seek is already within me. I commit to it with a lightness and ease that evaporates all barriers. I will create joyful moments with every heartbeat.”One question
Have you considered setting an intention to connect with more joyful energy in your life?
If you would like more information or want to CONNECT with me, visit happymeditator.com.