Living While Loving Your Child Through Addiction

When we have a child struggling, it’s easy to feel like our happiness is tied to theirs. That belief, often summed up in the phrase, "You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child," can leave us feeling powerless and overwhelmed. But what if letting go of that belief could create more peace, joy, and connection—not just for you, but for your child as well?

In this heartfelt episode, Heather dives into three powerful questions inspired by a mom from her Facebook group:

1. How do you live a happy life knowing your child might die?
2. Are we really only as happy as your unhappiest child?
3. How can you be happy when your child is so unhappy?

Through her own experiences and hard-earned wisdom, Heather shares how shifting our focus inward, questioning unhelpful beliefs, and embracing acceptance can lead to healing and peace of mind.

Recommended episodes:

1. EP102 How To Accept The Unacceptable
2. EP103 Acceptance meditation
3. EP03 What to do When You're Paralyzed With Fear That Your Child Will Overdose & Die 

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

In this episode, Heather welcomes Dominique, founder and host of the podcast For Love of Recovery, which focuses on helping siblings navigate the challenges of having a brother or sister struggling with substance use. Together, they dive into the unique experiences that siblings face, which are often overlooked.

Dominique shares her personal journey, the inspiration behind her podcast, and insights into the sibling perspective on addiction and recovery.

The conversation explores topics like the pressure to be the "perfect child," the effects of stigma, how parents can better support siblings, and the emotional complexities of navigating a family member's substance use.

This heartfelt discussion offers valuable insights for parents and siblings alike, shining a light on the importance of understanding and support for all family members.

Website: https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/

Podcast: https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/podcast

IG: https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

The holidays can be one of the most challenging times of the year, especially when your child is struggling with substance use. The stress, uncertainty, and longing for things to be different can feel overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to define your holiday season.

In this episode, Heather shares simple yet powerful strategies to help you take care of yourself, honor your emotions, and create moments of peace, connection, and even joy. These practical tips are rooted in compassion and intention, helping you navigate this time of year with greater clarity and resilience.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How to plan ahead to meet your emotional needs and set the tone for your holidays.
• The power of acceptance and how it can bring a sense of peace.
• How to be present with your pain without adding to it or minimizing it.
• How to embrace the "AND," making space for both grief and joy.

Heather also shares personal insights from her own journey, offering hope and encouragement for parents navigating similar challenges.

Resources Mentioned:

Heather explores the complex topic of manipulation in the context of addiction and family dynamics.

When your child is using substances, it’s common to experience behaviors that feel manipulative or self-serving. However, Heather emphasizes the importance of stepping back to see these actions through a compassionate lens, which can empower parents to respond with clarity rather than react out of frustration or hurt.

Heather covers:

• Understanding Manipulation: What manipulation is and isn’t, and how labeling behaviors as manipulative can reduce loved ones to harmful stereotypes.
• Influence vs. Desperation: How to distinguish when behaviors stem from true manipulation versus desperation or an attempt to meet a basic need.
• A Compassionate Perspective: Shifting from a “victim-perpetrator” mindset to a more empowered approach, recognizing manipulation as a universal human behavior rather than one solely tied to addiction.
• Strategies for Intentional Responses: Tips for responding thoughtfully, using the CRAFT approach (Community Reinforcement and Family Training).

With insights drawn from her own experiences, Heather shares the importance of language, self-awareness, and finding less charged ways to label challenging behaviors. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to navigate difficult behaviors with compassion and maintain peace of mind in the face of addiction.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

In Person WeWomen Retreat Information https://wewomenretreat.com/registration/

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

Description: In this episode, Heather offers gentle support and guidance for those days when it feels like you can’t stop crying. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions and unsure of how to move forward, this episode is here to help.

Heather shares tools for self-awareness, honoring your feelings, and finding the willingness to sit with discomfort. She also provides practical tips for managing the really hard days. Whether you’re navigating grief, sadness, or anxiety, this episode offers comfort and reassurance that it won’t always feel this hard.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

In this short meditation (pairs with ep#102), Heather guides you through a calming practice designed to help you embrace acceptance.

Remember, acceptance is a practice—listen to this meditation as often as you need to regain clarity and find peace.

Let this be your go-to tool whenever you need a moment of stillness to process and reset.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/ If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

In this episode, Heather delves into the concept of acceptance, highlighting that it's not a final destination but a continuous practice requiring intention and effort—especially when life unfolds in ways we never anticipated and find unacceptable.

We'll define what acceptance really means, why it’s so critical for your peace of mind, and provide three actionable steps to help you move closer to it. You’ll also hear about the role of grief in acceptance and the importance of separating facts from the stories we tell ourselves. Plus, discover how self-compassion can help you let go of resistance and step into a space of empowerment.

If you find this episode helpful, please consider subscribing, rating, and reviewing the podcast to help other parents find it too!

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

In this episode, Heather welcomes Debby back for another deep conversation about wellness and the overwhelming pressures many women face today. They discussed why so many women are on the edge of burnout—juggling multiple roles like mother, spouse, friend, and employee while feeling unseen and disconnected from themselves.

Heather and Debby dive into how living in a state of overwhelm has become the norm for so many, and how this sense of losing oneself can actually be a turning point for rediscovery and empowerment.

They reflect on their personal experiences with overwhelm and how strategies like redefining relationships with personal roles, the 8 dimensions of wellness, core values, and boundaries can help women take back control of their lives without feeling the need to run away.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re drowning in responsibilities, this episode will provide insight, compassion, and actionable steps toward finding balance.

In Person Retreat Information

https://wewomenretreat.com/registration/

Contact Debby:

Website: https://momentousliving.com

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/ If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

In this episode, you’ll learn six impactful changes that can transform your approach to loving your child through their addiction. These insights will help you reduce the chaos using practical tools.  You’ll also learn the value of shifting your focus from trying to control the situation or your child to controlling what is within your power—you. By reducing the chaos and taking charge of your own responses and behaviors, you can create a more stable and supportive environment for your whole family.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

Invitation To Change Group For Parents Enrolling NOW

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/itcgroup/

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM FOR MOMS - Join the waitlist - New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Get answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

This episode offers a heartfelt exploration of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)  and their far-reaching impacts, providing valuable insights for parents, caregivers, and anyone impacted by these experiences. Through this lens, we explore the often-overlooked trauma that ACEs represent and the importance of understanding these experiences. Join us as we navigate these complex issues with compassion and a commitment to healing.

Key Takeaways:

•  ACEs defined
• Their impact on physical and emotional health
• How ACEs can affect parenting styles and children's development across generations.
• How to mitigate the effects of ACEs for healing and healthier family dynamics

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM FOR MOMS - Join the waitlist - New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Get answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

New season, new name, and Heather’s unfiltered perspective.

Topics covered in this episode:

• The significance of creating a supportive and non-judgmental environment.
• The impact of stigmatized language and beliefs.
• The concept of "rock bottom" vs. "turning point" in addiction recovery.
• The double standards in labeling parental behavior as codependent in addiction cases vs. other illnesses.
• Offering practical skills rather than telling parents to stop “enabling.”

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM FOR MOMS - Join the waitlist - New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Get answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

In this podcast episode, guest Mike Brown, president and founder of the Never Use Alone Hotline (NUA), shares his journey from substance use to becoming a recovery advocate. Mike started NUA in response to his experience with the treatment industry, focusing on harm reduction and overdose prevention. NUA operates as a peer-led nonprofit, offering support to individuals using substances alone through human connection and non-judgmental assistance. NUA operates nationwide and has partnered with emergency services to ensure timely assistance if needed.

Mike addresses common barriers to calling the hotline, such as lack of trust, and emphasizes the importance of trusted sources sharing information about NUA. He also discusses misconceptions about harm reduction and enabling, highlighting the service's focus on providing connection, support, and hope to callers.

Throughout the discussion, Mike emphasizes the critical role of human connection and compassion in supporting individuals struggling with substance use, challenging traditional approaches to addiction treatment, and advocating for harm reduction practices.

In this episode you will learn:

1. The importance of human connection and non-judgmental support in harm reduction and overdose prevention.
2. Details about the services provided by NUA and how callers are assisted during substance use.
3. Misconceptions about harm reduction and enabling, are clarified through Mike's perspective.
4. Success stories from NUA, showcasing the impact of the hotline in saving lives.

Contact Never Use Alone

Your Questions Answered. A few months back, Heather reached out to her Facebook group to inquire about their burning questions on eating disorders. Why? Because navigating a child's struggle with both substance use and an eating disorder can feel like playing an endless game of whack-a-mole. Just as you address one issue, another one seems to surface. Eating disorders are often as misunderstood as substance use, which is why Heather has been on the lookout for the perfect expert to address your concerns.

Our guest, Alice Baker, is a seasoned professional in the field of eating disorders and is a registered dietitian, licensed therapist, and certified eating disorder specialist with more than 27 years of experience. Alice's personal journey of recovery has fueled her unwavering commitment to supporting individuals on their path to healing. She embraces a weight-inclusive approach and trauma-informed practice, advocating for a peaceful relationship with food and body. Additionally, Alice has adapted the Invitation to Change approach to provide education and support to the families she works with.

From this episode you will:

• Understand different approaches to eating disorder treatment and find what works best for your loved one.
• Discover the impact of parental influence on eating disorders and how to support positive change.
• Learn how to model healthy behaviors for children to promote a positive relationship with food and body image.
• Prioritize self-care as a parent to better support your child's healing process.

Alice Baker contact information:

Provides therapy for residents of Arizona and Florida.

As a dietician, she can work with anybody in Arizona, Florida, Colorado, Virginia, and Michigan.

Do you want regret free interactions and a stronger connection with your child? The art of authentic communication takes you from resentment to connection. You can find out how to achieve this result while taking care of yourself.

This podcast episode takes an emotional turn, as the host shares her journey of self-awareness and vulnerability. The episode doesn't just offer valuable advice for parents; it's a deeply personal exploration of the nuance of connection.

In this episode, you will:

• Learn how nurturing personal needs cultivates self-awareness and helps us deal with discomfort without reacting negatively.
• Uncover the key to building meaningful connections with your child.
• Understand your child's unique definition of connection and how it can strengthen your bond.
• Learn how to communicate your feelings respectfully and responsibly.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Get answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

The pain of feeling disconnected from your child can be overwhelming, but there are powerful ways to shift your approach and create the deep, meaningful connection you desire. Empathy, compassion, and effective communication are at the root of human connection. They’re also a critical component of shaping your experience of your child’s addiction.

When you access painful memories with feelings of guilt, blame, and shame you block connection because that creates cycles of defensive behaviors, avoidance, negative self-perception, and emotional withdrawal. Every time you access a memory you distort it. That means you can increase the negative emotional charge of a memory as you ruminate about it creating a profound impact on your relationship with your child, your past, present, and your future. In this episode, Heather illustrates how to break free from those negative patterns and shape your experience intentionally to create a connection with yourself and your child.

In this episode, you will learn:  

•  How distorting your painful memories perpetuates suffering and what to do instead.   
• Why your brain likes to blame.      
• How to take control of your own experiences to positively influence your relationship with your child.       
• The power of thoughts, beliefs, and memories to transform your parenting approach.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

Does this sound familiar? As a parent of a child struggling with addiction, you may have been told to use tough love and set strict rules to help them recover. However, this approach can often lead to feelings of guilt, frustration, and helplessness as you watch your child continue to struggle or get worse. It's time to discover a more effective and compassionate approach to supporting your child in their recovery journey.

Join us as we explore Kathleen Cochran's journey of navigating her child's addiction. Find out how her maternal instincts led her to embrace harm reduction principles. Kathleen's story offers a unique perspective that resonates deeply with parents facing similar struggles. Listen in to uncover the powerful impact of Kathleen's journey and discover how her newfound understanding can offer support and empathy to parents navigating similar paths.

In this episode, you will be able to:    

•  Discover effective addiction recovery and support strategies for parents. 
• Learn how to apply a harm-reduction approach to support your child.    
• Explore the benefits of online support for parents in similar situations.
• Learn how to guide your child through addiction with love.

Do you have a child or loved one struggling with addiction or mental health issues? Are you dreading the holidays? 

Happy Enough Holidays is an interactive workshop hosted by Heather Ross and Beth Syverson on Tuesday, November 14th, 4:30 -6:00 pm PST / 7:30 - 9:00 pm EST $20 for a 90-minute interactive workshop. 

Here's What You Get:   

• A Supportive Immersive Experience: Curate your holiday experience with other parents who face similar challenges and understand you during this live workshop. Custom exercises tailored to your needs and situation to help you create a clear vision for supporting yourself and your child through the holidays. 
• Reimagine Your Holidays: Rewrite the rules and set your own standards for the holidays. Uncover newfound clarity, embrace realistic expectations, and let your holiday season be a uniquely crafted experience that’s entirely your own. 
• Unlock Your Inner Strength and Resilience: Resilience isn't a fixed trait It's a muscle that can be strengthened. Together we will unlock the power within you to face holiday uncertainty head-on.  
• Two Inspiring Coaches: Heather Ross and Beth Syverson are your seasoned guides through this journey. They bring years of expertise and a wealth of knowledge in helping families navigate addiction.  

Register at https://heatherrosscoaching.com/happy-enough-holidays-2/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

In a world full of responsibilities and societal expectations you may find that instead of the self-discovery and empowerment you crave, you're left feeling disconnected and unseen. It's all too common for women to lose themselves in their various life roles, especially under the immense pressure of helping a child struggling with substance use. Yet, this journey of being lost can often serve as the catalyst for finding your true self, awakening to your heart’s desires, and ultimately unleashing your empowerment as you embrace the path aligned with your true desires for yourself.

Author and speaker Debby Kerr-Henry empowers women to embrace their true selves and live a life of authenticity with embodied storytelling. Through her own personal journey of self-discovery, she has gained valuable insights into the challenges and rewards of embracing one's identity. Debbie's dedication to personal growth and her commitment to continuous learning make her a trusted resource for women seeking self-discovery and empowerment.

In this episode:

• Cultivate a healing environment in your family by embracing personal stories and fostering understanding and empathy.
• Release your conditioning about self-care being selfish and experience the benefits of daily wellness practices and receiving support.
• Discover your inner strength and unlock your full potential through self-empowerment and personal growth.
• Step out of the scripted narrative about who you're supposed to be and embrace embodiment as a transformative tool for self-discovery.

Contact Debby:

Website: https://momentousliving.com/momentous-health/debby-kerr-henry/

Embodiment: https://momentousliving.com/embodiment/3/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

Heather and Pam Lanhart from Thrive Family Recovery Resources dive deep into a topic that's often misunderstood in the world of recovery: ambivalence. It can be one of the most challenging aspects that families face when dealing with a loved one's journey towards change. Ambivalence is complex but often oversimplified and stigmatized which leads to shame, blame, and labeling. Open and honest conversations about ambivalence are crucial in normalizing it within the change process. It’s important to look at our own struggles with ambivalence to help us understand the struggles and the challenges faced by our loved ones.

Some topics covered in this episode include:

• When your child asks for treatment but doesn’t follow through
• How to respond to the call that your child wants to leave treatment early
• What drives the motivation for change
• Strategies for responding to a return to use

Learn more about Pam and Thrive Family Recovery Resources

Living your life fully and wholeheartedly even when you're in a challenging place. That's the focus of part 2 of Heather's conversation with Barb Klein, Family Recovery Coach and the Author of 111 Invitations Step Into the Full Richness of Life.

Topics covered in this episode:

• How not to abandon yourself
• Honoring yourself
• Cultivating a heart that can hold it all
• The importance of daily practices that work for you

Learn more about Barb Klein

Website https://www.inspiredpossibility.com/resources.html

Book https://www.amazon.com/111-Invitations-Barb-Klein/dp/1504355261/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470745309&sr=8-1&keywords=111+invitations

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

September Invitation to Change Learning/Support Group Use the link below to find out about the Invitation to Change support group Heather is hosting.

Author of 111 Invitations Step Into the Full Richness of Life and Family Recovery Coach Barb Klein shares her experience loving and supporting her son Nate through his struggles with substances and an eating disorder for over 13 years. She shares how it’s important to live your life fully and independent of your child’s experience and find peace and possibility beyond the pain.

Topics covered in this episode:

• Barb’s son Nate and her experience parenting him
• The significance of the words you use to describe your child
• Viewing your child as an empowered adult rather than a sick child
• The challenges of eating disorders

Learn more about Barb Klein

Website https://www.inspiredpossibility.com/resources.html

Book https://www.amazon.com/111-Invitations-Barb-Klein/dp/1504355261/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470745309&sr=8-1&keywords=111+invitations

Mary Tilson is a Certified Professional Recovery Coach, Trauma-informed Yoga and Meditation Teacher, the Founder of Sun & Moon Sober Living, and a person in long-term recovery. There is so much you can learn by listening to Mary's journey from substance use to recovery. Instead of focusing on your differences, Mary’s story offers a chance to recognize our shared human experiences.  Look for your common ground, and discover the similarities that connect us all.

In this episode, you'll uncover valuable insights on healing, support, and connecting with your child to create lasting changes within your family.

Topics covered in this episode:

• Mary’s journey to recovery
• How to create the space between impulse and action
• Supporting someone through a reoccurrence of use
• What makes Mary feel supported in recovery

Contact Mary

Learn the unique advantages of using Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) to support your child’s recovery journey with guest Gail Embt, a Certified CRAFT Clinician. CRAFT offers powerful tools, yet many professionals and parents who need it don’t know about it. Whether you’re seeking solutions or understanding, this episode offers valuable insights to support your family.  

 Topics covered in this episode:

• CRAFT overview
• The benefits of CRAFT for you and your child
• Using existing knowledge to support change
• Navigating setbacks

Contact Gail/Recovery Club America to learn more about Parent Inner Circle

In this episode, we hear from Susie Armstrong, a multi-talented writer, healer, actor, artist, mother, and one of the key figures in Heather’s recovery journey for 8 years.  Every time you've heard Heather refer to her counselor, she’s talking about Susie.

Susie's journey has been shaped by her unique experiences and her commitment to sharing love through various mediums. As a Life Coach, Certified Hypnotist, and Certified EFT Practitioner, she has guided countless individuals on their paths to self-discovery and personal growth.

Some of the topics discussed in this episode are:

•  The difference between reactions and responses and why that matters 
• How to regulate your emotions when you feel reactive   
• How to identify when you’re triggered and how it affects your relationships
• How triggers relate to beliefs about ourselves

This episode offers a rich tapestry of wisdom and practical advice, meant to inspire you to navigate life's challenges with love, mindfulness, and authentic self-discovery. Whether you're seeking to deepen your connections, overcome triggers, or start your journey of self-forgiveness, Susie's insights provide valuable guidance for all aspects of personal growth.

How to Contact Susie or Find Her Books:

Heather talks to Michelle Weidenbenner the founder of Moms Letting Go and the All-Mighty Mom Tribe. Michelle is a passionate advocate, podcaster, and author dedicated to stopping the stigma of substance use disorder and providing hope, courage, and support to moms with addicted loved ones. Her latest book, "Unhackable Moms of Addicted Loved Ones, Closing the Gap between Havoc and Hope," offers a 30-day program for healing.

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Coping with relapse and supporting long-term recovery
• Helping your child see you aren’t blaming or shaming them
• Raising grandkids while also maintaining a connection with your child
• Taking a team approach to recovery
• Self-leadership for moms finding their true purpose

Contact Michelle

In this episode, we have the pleasure of speaking with author Pamela Brinker, whose book "Conscious Bravery: Caring for Someone with Addiction” explores the intersection of parenting and substance use. Pamela shares her personal experiences and insights, starting with her journey that led her to write the book. We dive into the concept of conscious bravery and how it relates to her work, emphasizing the importance of personal growth even when faced with a child struggling with substance use. We explore the profound impact that her experience with her son's substance use had on her parenting style and the transformative power of waking up to a more conscious way of living.

A few of the topics covered in the episode:

Cultivating conscious bravery

Building discomfort tolerance

Discovering and connecting with your essence

The impact your personal growth has on your child

In this episode, Heather discusses the misunderstood emotion of anger and explores its valuable purpose. The discomfort that anger causes can lead to numbing and distracting behaviors that keep you from tapping into anger’s powerful messages. Heather offers 5 insights about anger to help you embrace and learn from it, and a 3 step process to move through your anger.  Listen and gain a new perspective on anger and learn to unlock its hidden wisdom.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

New Support Group Starting in June Use the link below to find out about the Invitation to Change support group Heather is hosting.

Join Heather and guest Andrea Seydel from the Saving You is Killing Me podcast as they delve into the challenging world of supporting loved ones struggling with addiction. In this episode, they share their experience with the stigmatized beliefs surrounding the term "enabling" and offer alternative perspectives that prioritize compassion, support, and understanding.

Together they explore the negative connotations associated with the term "enabler" and challenge the beliefs that perpetuate shame and judgment. Heather and Andrea invite listeners to reframe their perspectives in order to create an environment that fosters healing, growth, and positive change for both their loved ones and themselves.

Tune in to discover how shifting our mindset and embracing compassionate support can transform the way we approach recovery. A few topics covered in this episode:

·      Rethinking the term enabling

·      Heather and Andrea’s personal experiences

·      The dangers of shame, silence, and stigmatized help

·      Helpful vs unhelpful helping

·      Normalizing the desire to help

·      The importance of self-care

Previous episodes Andrea was on :

Heather and guest Marcie Steinberg discuss her journey of reliance and transformation. Hear her heartfelt account of learning that attending a wilderness program was just the first step in her son’s recovery journey and how she pivoted to learn the skills she needed to walk beside her son on her own recovery journey. 

Some topics discussed in this episode:

Learning that addiction/recovery is a marathon, not a sprint

Coping with your adolescent child being away from home while attending a long-term recovery program

Lessons learned when her son came home from treatment without enough support

The services Marcie used to help her navigate supporting her son

Marcie’s personal journey of recovery and finding hope

Contact Marcie:

msteinberg0204@gmail.com

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

GUIDE ABOUT ENABLING - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 call with me using the link below

In this episode, Heather speaks with Catherine Becker, founder of the nonprofit group Joys and Challenges of Relative Caregivers, along with her daughter Katie, who shares her perspective as someone in recovery from substance use disorder and a mother whose children were adopted by her parents.

Catherine shares her experience of becoming a full-time parent to her grandchildren. She explains how she started her nonprofit group to provide support and connection for relative caregivers, and how it has grown to provide financial assistance, programs for families, and a 24/7 online interactive forum.

Katie shares her emotional experience of losing her children when her parents adopted them, how her mother's love and support helped her get into recovery, and how her recent recovery has brought her back into co-parenting with her mother. Catherine and Katie also discuss how this situation affects relationships with other family members and offer advice for other relative caregivers.

Addiction within a family can be a challenging experience, particularly when more than one family member is affected. Whether it's a child or a spouse, the common thread is the experience of stigma and shame. In this episode, guest Amanda Lockyer from Addiction Makes Three, shares her experience as a wife, and Heather shares her experience as a mother. They candidly discuss how shame and stigma made everything harder for them at the beginning of their journeys with their loved ones. Both women felt isolated without support and disconnected from their loved ones. As they reflect on their journeys, they discuss how shame, stigma, and fear caused them to stray from their values as a wife and mother. Despite these challenges, Amanda and Heather share their journeys towards self-compassion and self-forgiveness, which helped them become better support systems for their loved ones. They reflect on how getting back in touch with their values helped them tap into their internal guidance systems and support their loved ones from a place of compassion and understanding. Tune in to this episode to learn more about the challenges that families face when living with substance use, and how it's possible to overcome shame and stigma to become a better support system for your loved ones and yourself.

Jeff Foote, PhD co-founder of the Center For Motivation and Change and author of Beyond Addiction How Science and Kindness Help People Change answers questions submitted by members of Heather's Invitation to Change groups and Facebook group.

Topics covered in this episode:

• Talking to your child about substance use when there are no green light moments
• How parents can use Motivational Interviewing in conversations with their child
• Processing fears about relapse and helping with relapse prevention
• How to introduce mental health professionals to the concepts in Beyond Addiction
• Why your child that's using substances can't show gratitude for the help you offer them

Prioritizing your physical, emotional, and mental health is essential when navigating the challenges of supporting a child struggling with substances. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, but rather necessary for your own well-being so you can support your child in a sustainable way. Today's guest Corinne Crabtree is a master weight and life coach. Her program isn’t about WHAT you eat, it’s about WHY you eat when you’re not hungry and how to take better care of yourself. Self-care encompasses various aspects, including how you eat, sleep, and think about yourself. It's important to practice self-compassion, forgive yourself for any perceived failures, and cultivate positive self-talk. Your mindset and self-perception play a crucial role in your overall well-being. Developing a healthy self-concept can greatly contribute to your ability to manage the difficult circumstances you face when you have a child struggling with substances.

Topics covered in this episode:

• How to take care of yourself during hard seasons in life
• What emotional eating is and why we do it
• How eating and thoughts are connected
• Why it's hard to stick with behavior changes

Heather and guest Cordelia Kraus talk about addiction, recovery, and parenting while challenging traditional beliefs and exploring alternative perspectives and approaches to what “it works” means. Their hope is to provide insights, information, and support while encouraging thoughtful reflection and understanding in navigating the complexities of addiction and recovery within a family context.

The statement "it works" generally implies that a particular approach or strategy is effective in achieving its intended outcome. Many parents’ only intended outcome is for their child to achieve and maintain abstinence or sobriety. This may not be applicable or effective for everyone though. Recovery from substance use disorder is a complex and individualized process, and different approaches may be more appropriate for different people based on their unique circumstances, motivations, and preferences.

It's crucial for parents to be open to understanding and respecting their children's perspectives and desires, and to consider a range of approaches that may be appropriate for their child's unique needs, rather than imposing a one-size-fits-all approach based on preconceived notions of what "it works" means. An effective response to substance use involves flexibility, adaptability, and a willingness to collaborate with your child to find approaches that truly work for their well-being and growth. Cordelia Kraus, LPC, CADC- became passionate about working with families struggling with their loved one's substance use after going through her own experiences as a mom. Cordelia runs the website HelpingFamiliesHelp.com: a website that connects families with CRAFT-based resources and offers community and support for the providers who serve them. She has a private practice in Portland, Oregon.

Topics discussed in this episode:

• What “it works” means  
• How to show up with love in times of fear   
• What the CRAFT 70% number really means  
• A more inclusive definition of recovery    
• The pitfall of wanting to go back to your pre-substance use life

Heather Interviewed parent coach Cathy Taughinbaugh. As a result of her journey with her own child's drug use, Cathy wanted to become an advocate for parents and create awareness about substance use disorder. Cathy is the author of The Compassion Antidote: A Path to Change for You and Your Child Struggling with Substance Use. She is also the creator of the Regain Your Hope online course. Cathy has Level 1 Certification in Invitation to Change and facilitates ITC groups. Her mission is to support parents through the struggle of having a child misuse drugs or alcohol.

A Few Topics Covered in This Episode:

• What family recovery is
• The unique perspective of Cathy's book The Compassion Antidote: A Path to Change for You and Your Child Struggling with Substance Use
• How Cathy helps parents work through their fears about enabling
• Lessons Cathy has learned over the many years she's been parent coaching
• What to do when nothing has helped your family so far

Learn more about Cathy Tuaghinbaugh:

Addiction is influenced by bio-psycho-social factors, yet biology has been mostly left out of treatment considerations - until now. Dr Evelyn Higgins from Wired For Addiction® created a genetic test that measures brain chemicals, hormones, and specific genes linked to risk taking, impulse control, addiction, depression, and anxiety. Measuring those risk factors takes the guesswork out of treatment and make it specific to each person’s individual needs.

In this episode you will learn:

How the Wired For Addiction genetic test works

How the results of the test are used to form an individualized holistic approach to treatment

How our environment impacts our genetic expression

Find out more about Wired For Addition:

Website https://www.wiredforaddiction.com/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

NEW GUIDE ABOUT ENABLING - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

Adoptees are almost twice as likely to develop substance use disorder. That statistic gave Beth Syverson insight into why her adopted son Joey was struggling with substances.  Beth is using her lived experience to help adoptive parents who are coming "out of the fog" and realizing the adoption that created their family also created trauma for their child. Even if you haven't been touched by adoption this episode will give you insight into the impact of trauma and mental health struggles. 

Learn more about Beth Syverson, the Unraveling Adoption podcast, and APtitude support group:

https://www.unravelingadoption.com/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

NEW GUIDE ABOUT ENABLING - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

Shame doesn't just show up in your mind, it shows up in your closet too.  When you're struggling with your child's addiction and life is throwing challenge after challenge your way; self-care and what you put on your body might not be a priority. Heather talks with master certified coach and personal stylist Judith Gaton about how your thoughts and feelings about yourself are reflected in what you wear and how you care for yourself.

A few of the topics covered in the episode:

• Nothing is wrong with you if the pants don't fit
• Going through your closet & thoughts to decide what to keep
• It's not about dressing up, it's about taking care of yourself

Want to learn more about Judith?

Do you feel guilty or blame yourself a lot? Forgiving yourself is the path to emotional freedom and connection.  If you feel guilty about something you did or didn't do or you're blaming yourself for your child's substance use then forgiving yourself is how you work through it. If you don't forgive yourself, the guilt and blame keep you stuck. In this episode, Heather gives you 5 steps to self-forgiveness.  

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

NEW GUIDE ABOUT ENABLING - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

Every parent experiences anxiety worrying about their kids, but parents who are watching a child struggle with substance use experience even more intense levels of anxiety and more instances of it. 

It doesn't have to be that way though.  You can start changing your anxiety experience today. All you have to do is take the time to bring yourself into the present moment so you can define the emotion under the anxiety, listen to what that emotion is telling you,  process it, and reframe your thoughts about it. 

In this episode you will learn:

• What anxiety is and why it's important
• The four ways we react to anxiety
• The source of anxiety
• The steps you can take to manage it TODAY

This episode was previously published 1/21/21

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

New Support Group Starting in June Use the link below to find out about the Invitation to Change support group Heather is hosting.

Heather talks to guest Gillian Tietz who is the host of Sober Powered, a top 50 mental health podcast, and the founder of Sober Powered Media, a podcast network with 5 other top mental health podcasts. Gill was Heather's first guest on the podcast for episode #9. In that episode, they talked about some of the science behind substance use. This time Gill is here to talk about her Living a Sobered Powered Life support group. Many parents feel like they are their child's only support person. Family support is critical, but your child needs additional support options from people who understand them if they are struggling.

In this episode we discuss:

• Details about the Living a Sober Powered Life support group
• Why all paths to recovery are valid and important
• The value of support on the recovery journey
• A peak behind the scenes of Sober Powered Media

Episodes To Listen To Next: