Wildly Successful Lifestyle
By Heidi Dawson
If you love all things Health and Wellness and style of ANY kind.....you're gonna want to hang out here! I am obsessed with constant never ending improvement and all the things that can help us do that....but also Im just curious about all the cool things that make us better! This is all in an effort to help each one of us live a WILDLY successful lifestyle!
314. The monsters (you create) in your head
I had this weird thing when I was a kid where I wouldn’t let my hand hang over the edge of my bed in case something was under there and grabbed it. When you were a kid, did you ever worry about some kind of something being in the closet or under your bed? But here’s the thing. I never had any reason to think something was under my bed. I didn’t have ptsd from something being in my past that had happened so it was something completely made up. Once the morning came, it was clear there was nothing under there, and my fear was for nothing. I still do that sometimes, but now I do it with grown up things. Whether it’s with having a hard conversation with someone or finding a weird looking mole on your chest. We have a tendency to create things in our head of what bad things could possibly happen only to find out that well, they aren’t so bad at all, at least not as bad as we created in our head. Listen to the entire episode~ I love you guys!
February 03, 2023
313. Does everything you do MATTER?
Everything I do matters and it matters a lot TO ME. What this means is that my time matters. The amount of time I a lot to different activities matters. The amount of time I spend with my friends and family, the amount of time I allow for exercise, for meditation, for creating content for my podcast. The amount of time I allow myself to be distracted by other peoples content. I have become pretty strategic about that especially. Because some of it can really move you forward. But in order for it to move you forward you have to not only consume, you have to put it to action. I’ll give you an example for me where I read something, put it to good use and something cool came from it. I read where walking without music gives your brain time to come up with it’s own ideas and I thought that is so true, some of my best ideas have come from just allowing myself to think instead of listen. So I decided to put the idea to intentional use. Now let me just say real quick…sometimes I NEED the music to run and on those days I jam to whatever my mood needs but I have been really working lately on just using my brain energy as much as music to fuel my runs. And it does allow you to create your own things. I have a long way to go but I came up with a poem the first day I did it intentionally. I have talked about struggling with phone addiction, to which I have made huge strides. I often times don’t even know where my phone is, it’s been freeing and Im present when Im with someone else, Im not wishing I could be on my phone instead. But as I was walking I came up with this poem. We become the least interesting person in the room When we’re constantly scrolling on our phone. Our heads filled with other peoples ideas. None of them being our own. I also came up with a limerick so listen to the episode to hear that silly little poem...it's fun! Love you guys!
January 30, 2023
312. What are you making that mean?
If I told you to think of a leaf. You would all picture a leaf. If you lived in the south you might think of a magnolia leaf if you lived in California you may think of a palm leaf. Both of you would be perfectly correct. Same question, totally different answer, but both correct. Your brain uses your point of reference to come to an idea of a leaf. That’s what we do with everything. We use our point of reference to attach meaning to anything going on around us. We bring meaning to things based on what’s going on in our world. If I asked 5 people to describe a leaf I would get 5 totally different answers even if two of those people were from the south, one might not have a magnolia tree in their yard, so that’s not their immediate point of reference, they might only have oak trees, so they think of an oak leaf. The point is we attach meaning to things based on what we know, or what we’ve experienced usually most recently.
January 27, 2023
311. Their approval is NOT worth your happiness
I always say every single one of us came out of the womb with an agenda. And some will ignore that agenda to please others and some won’t. Those that won’t walk and create their own path which leads to the life you were meant for, it’s not easy to do but the other option of following someone else’s path for you isn’t easy either for a lot of different reasons. Stop trying to fit yourself into someone else’s dream for you. It’s not your job to fulfill someone else’s dream, it’s their job. Love them where they are and don’t require them to have to return that favor. They may not be able to. I read a post by Lindsay Mango the other day that said “what if YOUR happiness is more important than THEIR approval?” And it hit me that my happiness IS more important than other people’s approval. And society wants to tell you that’s selfish. You should put yourself last, the ones that only think of others are praised, oh she’s so giving. Oh she never thinks about herself, only others. But if that’s true for someone, I’ll show you someone whose internal light has burned out or is close to burning out and they are trying to get light externally which will have them burning the candle at both ends just to feel loved, which only happens when other people need them, but what happens when other people stop needing them? there’s a darkness again because you’ve never tended to your own internal light. That’s a tiresome, dangerous game. Because you’re at the mercy of other people for how you feel. You have to tend to your own light and let it shine so brightly, you do that, and it will attract others with that same light and the good just keeps getting gooder. Not a word, but I liked saying it. And look, your light may be too bright for some people, it may confront them that they’ve allowed their own light to be dimmed or to go out all together. When you follow your own heart, there will be those that don't approve and it may sting and you may wonder if it would just be easier to just do the thing and get the approval, but if you’ve ever tried that you know it’s a never ending gig and you’ll end up resentful and bitter, that in my opinion is so much harder than forging your own path. Listen to the entire episode....I love you guys!
January 23, 2023
310. Are you hungry or CRAVING? (Big difference)
Our body is quite manipulative when it is in a craving mode. Which if your diet consists of mainly processed foods That’s a lot of the time. Those foods are addictive by design. They want you to keep eating it, how better than to make it addictive. So when this is happening, your body will scream out for sugar bad fats and salt in whatever form that looks like for you. So we think we are hungry when it’s really our body craving and slipping a note to our brain to get us to think we MUST have this thing or we will die, or get a headache or be cranky, whatever. And this cycle will continue as long as your body is addicted to sugar, bad fats, and salt which is what a majority of processed foods are made of. I know because I lived for years like that. Listen to the entire episode! I love you guys!
January 20, 2023
309. Alright. Let's talk about FOOD
Good food follows: Instagram @drcaseyskitchen, @drosborne @drmarkhyman We love to think about food, talk about food, smell food, eat food. Food is kind of an addiction. Especially if you live in America. No snarky comments if you don’t live in America. We know we love food. And we also know it has become a HUGE problem in more than one way. We’re bigger than ever. We’re unhealthier than ever. Our food in a lot of cases doesn’t even constitute as food, it’s designed to look and taste like food but it is not giving any nutrition to our body whatsoever. Some of the ingredients we use are illegal in other countries. Literally illegal. So yeah. The so called “food” that makes up about 60% of the American diet isn’t even food at all. I can say this without a doubt because I looked up the definition of food. Here it is: any nutritious substance that people or animals eat or drink or that plants absorb in order to maintain life and growth. So if you eat something that is causing your body harm and has no nutritious value at all, it isn’t food. It’s something else. We think that just because the food industry wraps it up and puts it into a grocery store, well it’s food. But food in order to be food has to have nutritious value, ok so then it’s not actually food. And studies show that’s If it’s not actually food, and that’s the majority of what we are eating, how are we still functioning? Well I’m gonna just say it. Barely. Most of us are not even close to functioning at our best, not even close and we don’t realize it because that’s just become the norm. When I was eating the way I talked about in the beginning of this episode, I can tell you I had headaches all the time, which I would take ibuprofen for a lot. Sometimes I would have a headache because I hadn’t had sugar for an hour or so and my body was craving it and I knew more sugar would fix that headache but only temporarily, so I’d grab a Twix bar to fix it and it would! My body was literally demanding certain foods or it would revolt. I had created a monster that was always hungry. And I didn’t know why when I exercised I was still putting on weight. So I started cutting out things little by little No more pizza, no more regular margaritas no more frozen yogurt no more blueberry pancakes and mimosas. I started cutting things out and it helped a bit but I still felt tired. And when I had finally had enough I decided to get my bloodwork done with a functional nutritionist Dr Osborne and wow when he came back and told me “You are basically malnourished”. Your cells are not getting nutrition. I realized taking things out that were hurting me was only part of the equation. I had to add whole foods, foods with actual nutrients, actual food back into my diet. And it’s super confusing if you listen to people who are supposed to be in the know as far as food goes, because they don’t know either. When you hear trainers tell you that you don’t eat enough. I think that is one of the most confusing things. I used to be super frustrated when I heard that. Eat enough what? They are not saying you don’t eat enough bread or pasta or cheese or energy drinks or protein shakes. But if that’s what you want to hear then you start eating more and we know where that ends up. And look they may have heard that or read it somewhere and they may not even know exactly what that means. They just know, same as you know that something isn’t working. You’re not getting enough something to build muscle or feel good or balance out your weight. Listen in to the episode to hear the entire episode. Love you guys!
January 16, 2023
308. People that THRIVE do THIS
Have you ever noticed for all practical purposes, there are really 2 versions of you. One that really wants to do the things that you know will make your life better and one that really wants to just say “life is short”, “I’m going to do whatever I want, eat whatever I want, drink whatever I want, be a hermit, avoid family gatherings, you know all the things that just seem to put you on easy street. I have struggled with this a lot. I talked in Episode 307 about exercise. I used to battle just giving it up because I was using it to make me skinny but I realized that I had to use other tools like nutrition for that, Exercise helped keep me sane, healthy and happy which helped me make way better choices in every other area of my life. That’s how it goes though……Once you get the momentum heading in a good direction, it will build upon itself and that works in both directions. You see for me, in the past, when I let the version of me that wants to say life is short, do as you please, win out, it usually has me feeling bloated and full or hungover or lethargic, maybe even lonely because Ive isolated myself. When Ive done that it seems like I would be mad at the world, or wanting to eat greasy food to fix a hangover, or wanting to hide in my house because I feel fat or so disconnected from my family that it’s weird to reach out, it would have me buying things I didn’t need to fill a void. I don’t know about you, but I say Life IS too short. It’s WAY too short to live like that! But when I am really working on being the best version of me which is pretty consistent now, the momentum is heading in the direction of decisions that make me feel really good. It’s not 100% of the time. I think I am on the 80/20 plan. There are times when I drink more than twice a week and there are times when I drink less. There are times when I eat 5 chocolate oatmeal cookies too but that isn’t my habit. But the part of me that wants to eat chocolate oatmeal cookies every day is still there, I just tell it no. The part of me will always be there that would like to have a drink on a Tuesday when I said I wouldn’t drink during the week. She isn’t going anywhere, Im not a robot. Im a human. But Im a human that knows life is too short to waste time trying 15 outfits on trying to find one that hides my thighs, I used to do that or spending so much money on new clothes hoping that would make me feel pretty when it wasn’t going to work, life is too short to wonder if you did or said anything crazy when you drank too much. I think one of the biggest struggles we all deal with is keeping ourself in check. Telling ourselves no and keeping the promises we make to ourselves. It’s not easy but neither is the other option. We all have that version of us that still wants to act like a 3 year old where we do whatever we want. But what do we do with 3 year olds? We tell them no.. All THE TIME.
January 13, 2023
307. Why the heck am I working out if it's not making me lean?
“The heaviest weight at the gym is the front door.” Ed Latimore. When I first heard Ed say that, it had a huge impact on me. The reason why is because it resonates. It resonates and it’s true still even after years and years of consistent working out. The front door is still the heaviest weight for me. I mean I have exercised my whole life, I was teaching high impact step aerobics at 18. I was thin, could eat what I wanted..without worry. I continued to exercise but around 27 I started putting on weight. My vanity wouldn’t allow me to continue down that path. So I thought well maybe I can fix it if I start running, ok that worked a little but then my body adapted and eventually back up goes the scale, so I thought ok, maybe if I do Bikram Yoga, a 90 minute, in my opinion, military style yoga 4 times a week, which I did, it helped but again, I wasn’t getting back to the size I knew was best for me and how I wanted to look and feel, exercise had stopped being useful in the way in which I was using it. Isn’t that interesting? I was working out to be thin, and it wasn’t working. So now why in the world would I want to continue something that wasn’t working? That’s the million dollar question. It has taken a while for me to realize the role exercise plays in my life. I used to think and I would even say this “I exercise so I can eat what I want”. And I would make myself exercise and then go to Huey’s and eat a chicken sandwich with fries because I earned it. Eric and I used to do a 5 mile run every Sunday so we could go have brunch which meant blueberry pancakes and mimosas. I laughed out loud when he reminded me of that as we were talking about this episode. But you see, I was super frustrated because my jeans were getting tighter and tighter. It felt like I was working out for nothing. But there was this feeling of sort of a mixture of euphoria and pride the rest of the day after I had a great workout so it couldn’t be for nothing, right? I probably lived in that world for 6 or 7 years until I realized that there was also another sentence that I didn’t want to be true but was becoming more and more apparent. You can’t out train a bad diet, especially after 35. That’s when I realized working out was making me feel amazing but it wasn’t making me lose weight, not as long as my nutrition was where it was. So exercise for me was improving my sanity but food I realized was hurting my vanity, and my health of course but let’s be real…. I wish it weren’t so, but it is. So I exercise because I feel amazing. Now, exercise alone wasn’t going to reach my body goals. I had to get honest with myself about food. And if you’re being honest with yourself you do too. But that doesn’t need to discourage us from working out because the benefits are worth it. Trust me. I’m just like you. It’s not getting easier, but every single time you do it anyway, you win. We have to stop wishing it would get easier and we have to get real about our exercise and nutrition. You can get benefits from one or the other, but you cannot outrain a bad diet and there’s no way to eat so healthy that you have to exercise or move. www.heididawson.com
January 09, 2023
306. Are things better because you've been there?
Every single time I go into a public bathroom my thought is to leave it better than I found it. It doesn’t matter that they have people cleaning, I personally want to leave it better for the next person because what’s the alternative? You just leave it a mess for the next person to deal with? I’ve had that thought and that’s not how I want to live my life. When I’m going into a public bathroom and it’s packed and you’re waiting for the next stall, I don’t want to go in after someone who looks slovenly or dirty because I imagine that’s how they left it, do you ever do that? You imagine if someone is neat and clean, that’s probably how they left the bathroom, neat and clean. How you do one thing is how you do everything. Remember? That’s why the little things matter. Yeah, it may be somebody else’s job but how much better do you feel when you’ve left it better than it was for the next person? I’m not a person who wants to live in a mess so I better become a person who takes action when there is a mess regardless of who made it. Now I certainly don’t seek these types of things out where Im cleaning up messes all the time but if I notice something, and it’s within my power to do something about it, I do. It’s been quite windy in the last week or so and last week my neighbors recycle bin blew over with bottles and boxes just everywhere. I had a choice. It wasn’t my job to clean it up, nobody else was around to see me not clean it up but it’s a lot easier for me to clean it up than for my 70 year old neighbor to do it. And I want to be a person that leaves things better than they found it. So I cleaned it up and it felt good, for the rest of the day, it felt good. It took me 3 minutes, literally, but the benefits lasted all day. I was getting a handful of walnuts in our pantry and one fell somewhere not easily found, my initial reaction was to leave it because it would be a hassle to pull everything out to find one walnut, but that’s not how I want to show up so I pull out the waters and the waffle iron and the toaster, oh wait, the toaster, yep, there it was in the toaster, now had I just left it, the next time we put something in the toaster, we would have had a roasted walnut, not a big problem by itself, but is that me leaving things in a better place? Nope. Im happy I found it. I tore a paper towel off the roll and a little corner came off and flew on the floor, Mayra is coming later, I’ll just let her get it, no, it’s my mess, I noticed it, so I’m gonna clean it up. The little things we do matter. And it doesn’t end there. How about the people you come in contact with every single day? From your partner to the cashier at the gas station. Are you leaving them better than before they encountered you? That’s really something to think about. Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and make my husband wish I had stayed in bed? Good question. Becca taught everyone in that yoga class a valuable lesson, welcoming a guy in 20 minutes late, before she ever knew he was her big boss. That’s how she treats everyone, she leaves them better for having encountered her. How about you? Have you ever been having a bad day and someone made your day just by smiling at you? I have. Have you ever been having a bad day and in turn made sure someone else was just as miserable? Ive done that too. But on a regular general basis, are people better off for having run into you? I hope so. Check out the full episode to hear a cool story! I love you guys!
January 06, 2023
305. It's not all about you
I feel like we’ve been having some come to Jesus episodes lately but I just really feel like the thing that helps me the most is when someone simply tells me with love of course, the truth. When someone tells me like it is. When you have things going on in your life that you know don’t feel good or you know you want to improve and you hear someone that is well meaning say “you’re perfect just the way you are” they mean well but you know that’s not true because you can tell by the way you feel that something needs to change. Jordan Peterson says no-one wants to hear someone say “you’re perfect just the way you are” especially when you’re having a rough patch, because you know you don’t want to stay there so of course it’s not perfect and you know it deep down. So I love you and you should love yourself as you are but also know that the ability for you to grow and improve lies with one person…YOU We each have something very very unique from the rest of the billions of people on earth. Unique only to us. And that is that our world revolves completely around us. No one else has your exact experience. No one. Not even your twin sister because one of you was the one that came out first or the funny one or the favorite. Theirs always something that differentiates you and develops your uniqueness. You might be thinking this is quite different from the title where I said it’s not all about you. But here’s the thing. Because we each take us with us every where we go, we have a tendency to shape every experience into being something about us. Someone is having a bad day and is grumpy, we wonder if we did something to them. Someone is casually talking about their experience and we inject our same experience into the conversation. Someone has something really good happen to them and you wonder why those things never happen to you. Your friends or family are going on vacation together and you feel left out that you weren’t invited. Whatever it is, there we are subconsciously or even consciously factoring in what this means about you or how it affects you. Now this is human tendency, I just want us to start realizing we are doing it because it often leads to hurt feelings, comparisons, anger even in some cases. To continue, listen to episode 305! Love you guys!
January 02, 2023
304. Toughen Up
Toughening up doesn’t mean you aren’t gonna get your feelings hurt, it means when you get your feelings hurt you remind yourself you get to control how long you’re going to give this power over you. If you’re like me, I don’t like feeling sorry for myself. No one has time for that. I like to quote that song by Ariana grande. “Thank you, next”. Thank them and move forward don’t waste time playing the victim, because you’re not one unless you give your mind to it endlessly replaying it over and over, imagining that everyone else is talking about it. No they are not. And if they are it will be temporary and they too will be on to the next. That’s life. So toughen up. Have your own back. Have integrity and always do what’s right and what’s right for you may be different than what’s right for someone else and that’s ok. Listen to the entire episode for the whole story....love you guys! Heidi
December 30, 2022
303. Live authentically by letting go
When we are working on updating ourselves, sometimes there’s parts of us that someone else likes but that don’t serve us anymore. It’s ok to let that go. Nothing would make my parents happier than if I went back to being in their religion, but that thought never even occurs to me anymore because that wouldn’t serve me. I’ve let that go. Sometimes we will be with friends and everyone’s having a drink and they ask me what I want to drink and I say I’ll just have a water, and I know they might like it if I drink too but I don’t want it so I let that go. That doesn’t fit into my new house so to speak. Not on a Tuesday anyway. And guess what? They really don’t care if I drink or not, maybe for a minute and then we move on and everyone has an amazing time and everyone gets to do exactly what they want. You don’t have to keep that grandfather clock you don’t like simply because your mother loved it. And you don’t have to keep that old habit or belief simply because your friends or parents or teacher still want you to have it. We worry so much about what other people think when what we truly should be the most worried about is what we think.
December 26, 2022
302. What are you searching for?
In this age of technology we can easily search any topic and find it. When you search for something…you expect for that to be what you come up with right? When you search on Spotify for country music, are you surprised when you get country music options? No. Cause that’s what you’re looking for, that’s what you put out there that you wanted and that’s what you got. You put in a google search for something and you’re going to start seeing that everywhere. It almost seems like technology can even read our minds anymore. Life works kind of the way a google search or a Spotify search works. What you think about or what you put out there is what you get back. If you think that people are out to get you at work, that’s what you’re unintentionally searching for. If you think that your family doesn’t love you, you unintentionally search for evidence of that. If you constantly think negative thoughts about you’re partner, that’s what you’re unintentionally searching for. And guess what,…Don’t be surprised when you get back what your searching for. We create our life in our head, every single one of us do it. All day long. We have 60,000 thoughts a day if you don’t think that’s true then you’re creating a lot that you’re not aware of. It’s crucial that we start becoming aware of what our thoughts are having us look for and be intentional of what we want to think about. That’s how we create the life we want rather than accepting a life by default.
December 23, 2022
301. Listening won't change your life, but THIS will
This podcast or any other podcast won’t change your life unless it changes the actions you take. If you listen for 10 minutes and say oh that was great but you don’t think how am I going to apply that today, how am I going to use that in my life this week? Listening to the podcast is like going to the gym. Listening to the podcast and applying what you learn in your life right away is like going to the gym and actually working out. Ive listened and consumed enough to know that no matter what you take in if you don’t take action, if you don’t do the work, your life is not going to change. But when you do do the work, it isn’t going to change overnight, it’s a gradual change, one that maybe you don’t even realize until one day someone that hasn’t seen you for 2 years looks at you and says “Wow, you look amazing” or maybe “You seem so much calmer than you used to”. These are things that you may not notice but the things you do consistently that make you better ARE working. It’s great to surround yourself with positive information, but It’s the consistency of action that changes your life.
December 19, 2022
300. Are you making decisions or making WISHES?
How many of us know someone or maybe you’re that someone..that blames other people for all of their problems. So and so made me lose my temper. My mother has me so stressed. My husband always brings home treats so I will never lose weight. The kids take up all my time so I can’t go to the gym. Ive got news for you and for me too. As long as you don’t have control of your temper, there will be someone that will set it off. As long as you don’t have control of your eating, there will be food available to overeat, as long as you don’t make working out a priority, there will be something that can get in the way. I work on this every single day. I try to take responsibility for every single outcome I have anymore. You know why? Because it is my responsibility. Im the only constant in my life and everything around me is changing. That means the only thing I can rely on 100% is myself. Me being stable and reliable to myself is a must and that cannot fluctuate with what’s going on around me because if I wake up and say I hope I work out today, I hope nothing gets in the way of that, odds are that you won’t. If you say “I hope I don’t lose my temper today”, odds are you will. If you HOPE you eat healthy today, of course the odds are you wont. The definition of hope is the “desire for a certain thing to happen”. Having A desire means a strong feeling of wishing for something to happen. Wishing means to want something that cannot or probably will not happen. There it is. If you dig hard enough, you’ll always come to the crux of the issue. When you hope for something to happen. It probably will not. We have to be more reliable to ourselves than we are being. Every single one of us. We are all navigating this new way of being in the world. 24 hour made to make us anxious news, so left alone our brain will have us hiding in the house afraid of our neighbors, food literally staring us in the face 24/7, so left without direction our brain will tell us we are always hungry. Doctors telling us the answer to everything is medication, it’s not your fault just take this and you’ll be better. You see we used to think the news keeps us informed, but now it just keeps us angry and terrified so they can make money. We used to think the government was looking out for us with the food pyramid, now we see if we eat that way, we are going to be sick and overweight. We used to think Doctors looked out for us, but now they really do seem to just be pushers of medication that keeps us dependent and makes us sicker. I have a friend who is healthy went to a cardiologist who literally said “changing your diet won’t help, you have to stop lifting weights and take this medication for the rest of your life.” True story. Listen in for the rest of the episode! Love you guys! www.heididawson.com #decide #wishes #positivepodcasts
December 16, 2022
299. HIRING: Roller Coaster Operator
We all go through different seasons of life, sometimes we are sailing through and sometimes we are slogging it out. No matter where you are right now whether you’re sailing or slogging, 100% of us have two things in common. You might not think that’s possible but I challenge anyone to prove me wrong. The first this is this: You take you with you into every season. No matter where I go in life there I am. And the same is true for each one of you. No matter where you go, there you are. You are the only 100% constant in your life. Have you ever thought about that? Your family will transition. You went from living with your parents and siblings to maybe living on your own for a while, maybe you had a few different roommates, maybe even a few different spouses. But one thing that has always been a constant is YOU. And that is not going to change. It’s eye opening when you think about it. The second thing 100% of us have in common is everything outside of us is constantly changing. You can take that to the bank and cash it. Everywhere you go, there you are AND everything around you is constantly changing.
December 12, 2022
298. What are you built for?
We all have injuries at different times in our life, maybe it’s physical, maybe it’s mental but at some point or another something happens and we have to decide if we are going to throw in the towel, go out to pasture so to speak or if we are going to get back on the race track again. We are built to sustain so much and we are also built to thrive. But being built for something doesn’t mean though you’re going to see it through automatically. It takes work, just like with that racehorse. There was a lot of work and conditioning that had to happen for her to be able to win races again. So what are you built for? Have you ever thought about that? Jordan Peterson says that we are built to have a noble goal and to work towards it. I’ve been in this world long enough to know that when I’m the happiest is when my mind is set on working towards a goal. Like having an end result that I know I want and working towards it continuously until I reach it. You might have had an experience where you have a 20 year reunion coming up and you want to be this certain weight or size when you go, awesome. But What happens the day after the reunion? You felt the high and now what? You need another goal. Just know and be prepared that every time you have a goal and you reach it you’re gonna be happy and then you’re gonna feel a tugging maybe a little sadness because you accomplished that goal and now what? We are built for more. You see sometimes people accomplish something big and they let their brain tell them that’s it. That’s the culmination. Nothing can get better than that. You graduate college. You get your dream job. You get married. You have a baby. Whatever it is. You are built to keep going. We are built To have something to work for. And We are built to withstand much more than we think we can. If we weren’t built for that. We would cease to exist because life can be so hard. But here’s the thing it’s hard then it’s good, then its hard, then it’s good and that cycle will forever be the same. We are built for that. Listen to the episode to hear the rest! Love you guys www.heididawson.com
December 09, 2022
297. Who are YOU when life gets REAL?
Have you ever heard someone maybe a historian or someone who studies human nature say “the only way to bring the country together is we have to have something big happen like a war” Like when 9/11 happened our country came together in a big way because we realized what’s important, what really matters and for a moment we through away our built in prejudices and just loved. It didn’t matter your political party, your race, your religion, or where you lived in the country. We were all Americans and we had been attacked. Life got REAL real fast. And when life gets REAL the facades are dropped, the curtains are opened, the hard outer shell is cracked and there we are just raw, true, authentic emotion. Who hasn’t felt that? When crisis happen it can cut pretty deep. It can be scary, and shocking, it can make us reevaluate what am I doing? What in the world really matters? But eventually we go back to that identity we created. After 9:11 things gradually calmed down and we started living in our new normal, we slowly built the facades back up, we eased the curtains closed, we reinforced that hard shell and went back to living life slowly separating ourselves from each other in a way. Now this kind of thing happens on a small scale in communities that have tragedy. Even one step further… families that go through tragedy. It’s a time when people come together and the little quarrels, the differences they don’t matter for those brief moments we allow ourselves raw, true authentic emotion. Because deep down that’s who we are. Deep down we want connection, we want authenticity, we want realness not this facade that religion puts up, not this divide that politics puts up, not this shell that people put up. Your Raw true authentic self doesn’t care what religion people are, it doesn’t care what political party people affiliate with, it doesn’t care what color people are or where they’re from. It just wants to love. All you have to do is look at little kids to know that. They don’t care until they are conditioned to care. Check out the episode to hear the rest! I love you guys...:)
December 05, 2022
296. Everything changes when you do THIS...
Family can be such a source of joy and also a source of pain. Don’t we all know it? Regardless of the size of your family. In the book Ive been reading, Awareness I talked about it in episode 295 but in it the author talks about being so awake and alive that no one has the power to make you feel good or bad, you give no one that power. Your happiness lives and dies with you. Ok, that is very enticing but it also seems a little far off for me. I would love to get there. A good place to start and the place Im starting is just recognizing when I have thoughts that don’t serve me. About anything and everything. This has been kind of a topic for me lately because Ive been confronted head on with everything family for reasons I have talked about in my latest episodes. I have really had to manage my mind and 90% of the time, Ive done really well. I still have moments but Im aware of them, and they ability to get on the other side of them has to completely lie with me, even if and when I feel as if Im wronged. It doesn’t matter, and I will show you why and how I know that in this episode. When we spend more time with friends and family… it’s more important than ever for us to realize we have the power inside us to change how we look at anything. That old wonderful saying from Wayne Dyer “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Im knowing that more and more every single day. My happiness and my sanity lies with me and your happiness and your sanity lies with you. Sometimes someone does something and you feel you would be justified to be angry and resentful, we are humans not robots. But never forget the saying. Resentment is like swallowing poison expecting the other person to die. You’re hurting yourself. The damage is done to you, by you so you’re the only one that fix it also.
December 02, 2022
295. Are you a prisoner to your conditioning?
heididawson.com Book I referenced in show: Awareness by Anthony Di Mello We all do it. Sometimes it’s worse than other times but we generally have preconceived ideas and lenses from which we view the world and they can be very very hard to overcome if we are living on autopilot especially. So we have this lens and it’s clouding our vision. When we realize this it’s extremely eye opening. If you’re awake you might ask where else am I allowing this lens to cloud my judgement? But that gets too murky. It sends you down a different rabbit hole of trying to identify all of your preconceived notions. And Unfortunately there are a lot. So I propose simply being aware when something makes you uncomfortable, notice the thoughts that come with it. You don’t have to be a prisoner of your conditioning. I have touched on this before but I believe we can circumvent a lot of these preset lenses by being aware that we have these filters in the first place. Whether it be a filter of past events, a filter of labels we have for ourself or others. A filter of stereo types. We like to put things in boxes. This means that. But does it? When you see a priest with his black coat and white collar, does that bring you comfort? You may say of course, it would bring anyone comfort, my husband was born and raised a catholic so when he sees a priest, he feels a level of respect. Well I grew up with religious literature showing a person wearing a priest outfit as evil and it usually included fire and tortured souls along with it. It was associated with something scary. So when I see a priest I still even after 25 years of not believing that way, I still want to steer away from him. That’s because I was conditioned for 30 years. There’s a big difference in how my husband and I were conditioned. I now notice it and my thoughts that come with it. Just noticing it and being aware of it gives me the chance to be open to change.
November 28, 2022
294. Is there an angel looking out for you?
Have you ever thought, man, Im not sure how I have made so many mistakes and have managed to stay out of too much trouble, or have managed to not totally derail your entire life? When you’re inspired to do something or you have a strong desire to call someone do it. It may not always turn out the way you want it to but at least you aren’t the reason things aren’t mended. Man, relationships are complicated aren’t they? The number one thing you can do to have better relationships in every single area of your life is to get on board with who you are. To become so in tune with your inner self that you can see when you are doing something from your ego or when you’re doing something from love. Love doesn’t isolate. Love isn’t a tightening it’s a releasing. Love isn’t closed its wide open. Love doesn’t come from a place of pride it comes from a place of humility. When you’re inspired to do something or you have a strong desire to call someone do it. It may not always turn out the way you want it to but at least you aren’t the reason things aren’t mended.
November 25, 2022
293. It's me, Hi... I'm the problem, it's me
Lover her or hate her, Taylor Swift has a real talent for creating songs that people connect with very strongly. I love her music, very often I run to it, so it inspires me very much. One of her latest songs that is a viral hit has the chorus that says “It’s me, Hi, Im the problem, it’s me. I hope this does what I think she intended and that is wake a lot of people up to the fact that we create so many of our own problems for ourselves. Sometimes we realize it while we are doing it and are able to pivot but sometimes we realize it way after we have created more trouble for ourselves. There’s this saying “It’s the fog of war”. This saying is basically the uncertainty you deal with in the midst of full on war, it’s hard to see and understand everything going on because you’re in the midst of turmoil. And once the fog of war lifts, you can look back and see where you made mistakes and which decisions were good or bad and so forth. I noticed something about myself in the last couple of weeks going through the tragedy of suddenly losing a family member. I noticed that sometimes when things get hard I want to run. I want to hide from it, to distract myself. I also create problems in my head that aren’t there and thoughts that aren’t true. But, when I am thinking those thoughts of wanting to run or hide, or Im having thoughts that don’t serve me, Im making it about me. Im focusing on me. Instead of focusing on what I can do to help, Im creating this loop in my head likes this is too hard, I can’t handle this, I can’t handle seeing and feeling all this sadness, I want to go home. These are all fog of war thoughts and what I realized was these thoughts weren’t helping anyone, most importantly me. So I literally stopped and I thought “What’s true?” What’s true is yes, this is hard, but it’s not too hard because it’s feelings and emotions and feelings and emotions are not going to kill me. Im not dealing with something trying to kill me, Im dealing with emotions and while they are extremely uncomfortable they are not going to kill me. They can’t. And as long as I acknowledge that this is difficult and I’m gonna be ok, I am letting my brain know it’s ok to feel the feeling because ultimately we are going to get on the other side of it and we are going to be ok. What else is true? I can handle this, and so can my sister and my parents. By design we are capable of handling much worse than we even know. When we constantly tell ourselves, this is too much, it’s too hard, I can’t handle this, Im losing my mind, we are actually weakening ourselves without realizing it.
November 21, 2022
292. This hurts AND it's gonna be OK
Life is a series of happy times and also not so happy times. It’s that way for everyone. We all have both if we allow it. I say if we allow it because sometimes something happens and we let it suck us into a hole that we just cannot seem to climb out. If you’re stuck in a hole, don’t give up. It's ok to be sad, life can sometimes feel very unfair. Life can sometimes seem almost unbearable, I know. Life is completely unpredictable. We believe that someone will be around forever. And when they aren’t it’s shocking for us. But understanding that life is unpredictable. Any one of us could be gone in an instant. That’s hard for us to think about, I know. But knowing that helps us embrace each moment and embrace those that we love as much as we can. Enjoy each moment because now is not forever and that applies to both good moments and bad moments. This too shall pass.
November 18, 2022
291. How to be more confident, decisive and certain
Having confidence, feeling certain and being decisive are valuable traits and they are learnable. In fact there are ways even just in the way we carry ourselves that add to whether we feel confident or not. So, How about you? If you don’t feel confidence very often, could it be that your mind is telling you things aren’t going to end well so it holds you back from trying new things? Here’s the thing, we are creatures of habits, whatever we do regularly, become our habits. So if you consistently hold yourself back, that becomes a habit, if you consistently have a hard time making decisions, that also becomes a habit, a sort of way of life. How many times have you heard someone describe someone as “they couldn’t make a decision to save their life. We can simply fall into the habit of that, but we can also learn how to be better at it. If you don’t feel confident, or certain or you have trouble making decisions, You may constantly seek other peoples opinions or look to someone else for advice because you aren’t in touch with what you really want or you are afraid to admit to what you really want because it probably won’t happen anyway. And you can’t be certain about anything because there is no plan, there’s no scheduling out your week, life is just sort of happening as it comes to you so you aren’t really making decisions they’re sort of made for you by life just happening. But you see when I say each of those words confidence certainty and decisiveness. They generate inside of me an inspiration to want to feel them more. Because when you feel confident, and you’re able to make decisions, and you are certain that no matter what happens in life you aren’t gonna quit, that’s a winning formula for success because you can’t lose when you are certain you’ll never quit and you aren’t afraid to make decisions when you know that even if it wasn’t the right one, you learned something and you are one step closer to the right decision, which gives you the confidence to try again.
November 14, 2022
290. Don't do it if you can't line up with it
If you don’t want to do something. Why are you doing it? I’m asking that because It’s really helpful to know your why. And if you decide to do something you don’t want to do, is there a way you can line up with that decision and actually embrace it and find a way to enjoy it? We live in a world that completely revolves around us. My world revolves around me and your world revolves around you. But there’s a little kink here because I live in a world where there are other people that live there too. And that’s where it gets messy. Doesn’t it? Because sometimes we end up doing things that someone else would like for us to do even though we don’t want to. Ultimately though. We do choose. And when we choose, it’s really helpful to get behind that choice. There’s no use resenting or blaming or guilting because we had a choice. We love having other people in our lives but We all have to remember that every single decision We make is our own responsibility. No one can make me do something I don’t want to do and when I do it, that’s my choice and I’ve learned to find someway to line up with it. You have to focus more on why you’re doing it instead of why you didn’t want to in the first place.
November 11, 2022
289. How to feel beautiful!
So my first question to you is this. Do you feel beautiful? Really think about that. Do you think of yourself as beautiful? Because if you don’t then keep listening and if you do also keep listening because you’re going to find new ways to up level and make yourself feel even better. Do you realize that from the moment you get up to the moment you go to bed, everything you think, do or say plays a role in how beautiful you feel or not? How often do you leave the house looking a mess? Praying you don’t see someone. Don’t treat yourself like that. I saw a sign once at a boutique that said dress like you’re going to run into your ex. I love it, because that's a mindset, you know you would want to be looking amazing. So why not just make that a standard for yourself? The thoughts we have and the decisions we make subtly tell us how to dress, what to eat, how we show up and it will even dictate what we tolerate from other people. So if you look in the mirror and you think thoughts like, ugh you’re so fat, you’re skin looks awful, I hate my hair, Im so frumpy. Those thoughts they carry through in what you allow yourself to wear, how you fix your hair, how you do your makeup. For instance, When you have a thought like “I’m fat” then you go into your closet to get dressed…what are you motivated to put on? Something that makes you hide, or at the very least something that hides the parts you don’t like about yourself. Maybe you throw on an oversized t shirt and jeans because “who cares right?” Well you care, and you matter. And it all starts with your thoughts about you. Every woman should feel beautiful. And a lot of the times the reasons we don’t is because of the thoughts we have. And this is not going to be something you wake up one day and you never have a bad thought, no this is consistent work. I work on it every single day. Listen in for the rest......LOVE YOU GUYS! www.heididawson.com
November 07, 2022
288. What does your environment say about your life?
I’ve heard this statement “How we do one thing is how we do most things.” several times in the past year and when I first heard it I wanted to disagree but the more Ive thought about it, it’s true. For example, how the outside of your home looks, is probably pretty indicative of how the inside looks. If someone doesn’t cut their grass or make the outside of their home look beautiful, they are not doing it on the inside either. Just like if someone goes out looking like they just rolled out of bed, clothes are wrinkled, or dirty, their hair looks dirty , I find myself often imagining subconsciously how their bedroom must look or the state of their home must be a wreck. But does our environment only include our home? No of course not, Realistically our environment can include every single place we go, the people we surround ourselves with, the things we allow into our mind. But for this episode I simply want to talk about our home. The bare minimum of our environment, the part of our life that undoubtedly display how we are doing in life, the way we care for our home will tell you a lot about how you view yourself. How often do you leave your house with dishes left in the sink? Your bed is unmade, there’s clutter all over the island, maybe your front porch plants gave up a while ago, there are so many things that bother us but we just can’t seem to find time to change it. And listen there is no judgment here, I’m going to be pretty vulnerable with you guys about this. I used to be pretty messy. And looking back at my life, I understand why. I was a wreck on the inside, and it was showing up on the outside. When I was about 25 going through a divorce from my first husband, we had two dogs which I got to keep thank goodness but I was also working and look those dogs would sometimes go to the bathroom in my house and I would try to clean it up, I remember one time sitting on my living room floor, it was carpet, and just crying uncontrollably because of the state of my house, my life, my ability to care for my dogs, it was not good. So if this is you, or some version of that is you, there’s hope. You don’t have to settle for that. I look back at that girl crying on the floor and send her so much love and you know why? Because she didn’t accept that as her lot in life, she slowly but surely started getting it together. She got help through coaching, she read books and went to seminars and surrounded herself with people that raised her standards. She was doing the best she could at the time, while knowing she deserved better and actively worked towards it. No one was going to knock on my door and offer to help clean or care for the dogs, or get my mindset right, I had to do that and I did and I still work on it every single day. And if that sounds tiresome to you, imagine the weight of staying in the misery of being a wreck, that’s a whole heck of a lot more tiresome, I can say that from experience. Her house mirrored her life…and at the time, it was a wreck.
November 04, 2022
287. How to get on the other side of a bad mood
Our emotions are run by our primitive brain and if we are living on autopilot, a lot of our decisions are made from our primitive brain as well. You will know how often you hang out there by the habits in your life. Do you avoid going to the gym when you don’t feel like it? Do you reach for comfort food when you’re sad? Do you hide in your house when you’re feeling anxious? It’s ok if you notice you’re doing some of these things, in fact it’s great that you are aware of it. But here’s the thing. That mood wants to be fed and the more you feed it the hungrier it gets. Let's get on the other side of it instead of feeding it! www.heididawson.com
October 31, 2022
286. Of course we judge a book by it's cover!
I have noticed a trend in our society, especially in America where some are trying to celebrate an “anything goes” lifestyle. Some people say “you can just show up however you want, wherever you want”. They say “people shouldn’t judge you on how you dress or how you present yourself’. And I gotta tell you, I just don’t buy into that and if you are really honest with yourself you know it’s not true, we love to make assumptions based on what people are wearing, the analalytics of my show tells me my listeners are about 85 percent women, which I love that I have all these friends out there, I wish I could meet each one of you, but you guys know Im right, because we are the worst about it, we check out other women all the time, especially if they are looking amazing and let’s be honest an atrocious outfit will get a sideways glance too. We all notice and respect when someone makes an extra effort to look amazing. I love to see it, it is so inspiring to me! When I see someone looking so good, It makes me want to step up my game too! www.heididawson.com
October 28, 2022
285. The definition of INSANITY
Your life is created by the decisions you make every single day. What you eat, what you read, what you watch, who you hang with, and the biggest thing of all is how you decide to manage your thoughts. I say “decided to manage your thoughts” because it truly is a decision. This isn’t something we were taught in school, that we have to manage our thoughts, most of us for most of our life really never gave much thought to our thoughts, we just assumed we are our thoughts and our thoughts are us. Couldn’t be further from the truth. We aren’t our thoughts, and thank goodness because think about how many of your thoughts were put there by someone else…you’re not smart enough to do that, you should be further along, your body should look like this, we are told how and what to think our whole life. But what resonates with YOU? What feels right to YOU? Those are the only thoughts you should keep. And that’s for you to decide. You get to decide how long you’re going to let the same old habits and thoughts keep holding you back. www.heididawson.com
October 24, 2022
284. You don't get what you want, you get what you EXPECT!
There’s a big mind shift between expecting something good to happen verses praying something doesn’t go wrong. There’s a big energy difference between those two and when I say energy what I mean is your attitude and your mindset… from here on out when I say energy that’s what Im talking about your attitude and your mindset. And everyone can feel the difference Do you expect for this new diet to work or do you just hope you get past the first day? Do you expect for this new business to flourish or are you just hoping it doesn’t flop? Do you expect a fabulous relationship or do you think all the good ones are taken? How are you showing up? www.heididawson.com
October 21, 2022
283. Assumptions...are they serving you?
Have you ever been talking to someone and they say something and you immediately think you know what they mean because you have been through the same thing, or you have experienced something similar only to find out it didn’t mean the same thing to them that it did to you? Or maybe something happens and you jump to conclusions about what it means or what’s going on only to find out you’re wrong? We jump to conclusions about everything…what it means when someone doesn’t immediately text us back, what it means when someone doesn’t return a smile at us when we smile at them, assuming someone is a certain way because of how they look, thinking we know what someone is thinking about anything ever…you know mind reading. These habits are causing us all unnecessary problems..... I talk about some things we can do to avoid them...check out this episode! I love you guys!
October 17, 2022
282. Can you say "I'm a person who doesn't quit"?
Ok, have you ever started something with the full intent on seeing it through but it quickly was forgotten to a shiny new object? Being able to stick with something is powerful.....but not always easy.. It’s so easy to just eat the cake, to just have the drink, to just skip the workout because it doesn’t seem like that one thing makes a difference but it does. It’s not about that one workout, or the one drink or the one dessert, it can’t be because that one workout isn’t going to show up immediately in the mirror, it’s not going to show up as 1 lb lighter on the scale that afternoon. But it will show up in the way you feel, in the way you wear your clothes, in the way you interact with your family and anyone you run into. It will show up in the way you talk to yourself. So it does show up immediately just not in the way you think. Want to try a new belief? my suggestion is to use this one. “Im a person who never quits.” According to Ed Mylet that’s the number one skill we need to be successful. I love you guys!
October 14, 2022
281. Distractions, what are we losing to them?
We don’t allow ourselves to be bored anymore. Did you know that when you are bored, it allows your brain to actually have the freedom to think and create from your own personal set of life experiences rather than what you are currently reading on social media or watching on Netflix? It also gives your brain a break. I liken it to sitting in a beautiful, minimalistic space that has only natural colors and no clutter, just very serene, my brain rests so well in a space like that, however I have a friend that loves lots and lots of color and finds it very boring and uninspiring to be in a space like that, she would prefer to have lots of colors and pattern all in the same space which feels chaotic to me. That’s how I feel when Im constantly taking in social media, or constantly distracted, my brain can’t rest. For me, that’s like constant distraction, I cannot be creative in a space like that because it doesn’t allow my brain to rest.
October 10, 2022
280. Stop beating the crap out of yourself...:)
Maybe we made a big mistake or a few big mistakes and now we are having to deal with the consequences. Ok well…. Welcome to the world of being human. Your past doesn’t have to predict your future unless you live there, unless you dwell on it because it’s happened. It’s done. The only place the past lives is in your mind. And I know some of you will say well it lives in other peoples minds as well…..but I gotta tell you…Not really….not as much as you would think. They’re more worried about their past than yours And anyway, that’s their issue, not yours, lets not even go there. Your job is you. And You’ve got a life to create. I don’t care what your past consists of. Let it go. And I always add this but if you have unhealed trauma that you haven’t gotten therapy for that’s different but if you are still dragging yourself through the mud because you slept with a married man 20 years ago, or you went bankrupt or you went through a tough divorce years ago you cannot continue to drag that stuff forward. Beating yourself up like that is the easy thing to do, it doesn’t take self discipline because it’s just so easy to think that way because that’s what your human brain does, if you haven’t noticed. It’s your job to notice these thoughts and use discipline by saying “That’s just a thought and I don’t have to believe it” Discipline allows you to say “I know who I am today and I am not my past mistakes”. That takes courage and you have that courage inside you, will you let yourself find it? And look it can be anything. Don’t use your past to destroy your future, because now that you have heard this you know you don’t have to, so it will be a choice. You are not your past. www.heididawson.com
October 07, 2022
279. "Don't wish for things to be easier, wish for you to be better" (Jim Rohn)
When you’re struggling with something, The first think I would want to know is it just your primitive brain trying to keep you in your comfort zone? Be prepared for that, it’s sneaky. If it really is a struggle….is why you’re doing it worth it? Maybe you know it will make you a better mom or wife or it makes you better as a person. That WHY will help you overcome struggle every time if it’s big enough. Finally How can you look at that struggle in a different way, knowing when you get on the other side of the struggle and you will, you know life didn’t easier, you just got stronger……stronger in a way that will help you in every single area of your life. www.heididawson.com
October 03, 2022
278. Is your brain sabotaging you?
You’ve had a long day, you deserve that drink Just skip working out today, you’ve got too much going on Don’t apologize in person, just shoot ‘em a text Do you feel like you fight these internal thoughts all day long? So does everyone else. The difference between people who succeed and those who don’t really boils down to how well they manage these “well meaning” thoughts are brain likes to send us. You do control your brain and it will fight you every time you try to step out of your comfort zone. That explains a lot doesn’t it?
September 30, 2022
277. There's no shame in pivoting
Are your workouts helping your longevity or just the way you look in your clothes? As we get older, we want them to do both! That requires us being open to learning new things, which means we are constantly having to step up our game. Our life is being created as we grow and pivoting when you learn something new is part of that process, there’s no shame in realizing the course you are on isn’t the best for you long term, so you change it.
September 26, 2022
276. How to improve your game
Have you ever told someone they did a great job, but in the back of your mind, there were some things you could have helped them improve? Most of us want to feel good and we want other people to feel good too. So they will often only give you positive feedback and leave off the things that could make you better. It makes everyone feel good, but it’s not making you better. That’s why it’s important when you’re trying to improve, to ask for honest feedback with what you did well and what you can improve upon.
September 23, 2022
275. What inspires YOU?
I love to be inspired. Don’t you? We all like to be inspired. But have you ever given any thought to the idea that not only can you be inspired, you can also be the source of inspiration for others and probably are. Have you ever thought about the people you inspire? It’s kind of funny to think that way, because most of us don’t think of ourselves as “inspiring”. But what if you are? What could you be inspiring people to do? Maybe you’re at the gym every day before work and you inspire others to do the same, maybe you cook delicious dinners at home and you inspire others to do the same. Maybe you are always dressed impeccably and you inspire others to do the same…. Sometimes you don’t know how much you inspire other people. That’s just something to think about. I bet you’re inspiring someone and you don’t even know it. And if your first thought is Im not inspiring anyone. Why would you say that about yourself? The thing that inspires others about you may come so naturally to you that you just brush it off as “oh that’s not anything special”. But it is, we each have our unique thing we are good at, and you may be discounting that thing, but someone else may look at it and be inspired by it. Don’t underestimate the power of that thing you do that comes naturally to you. There’s a clue in that and if you follow that clue, it could lead you down a path to new doors that are opening. www.heididawson.com
September 19, 2022
274. Why you shouldn't take "No" at face value
Have you ever had a professional tell you something couldn’t be done, and you felt like it should be able to be done, so you were skeptical? How about having someone tell you something isn’t available only to find out that it is in fact available, for whatever reason, they didn’t have the correct information. This happened to me 3 times this week. Just this week! I feel like it’s something that just can’t be ignored. Covid restructured things in our world where it seems like it’s harder to get great customer service. I know it will rectify itself, the markets always do. If someone is doing the bare minimum, someone else will come along and do it better. It’s just how it works. So Im not being negative Nancy when I say that about our world, I actually think Covid’s shakeup of the world has opened up so many new doors, which I know is an optimists way to look at things. But Im an optimist, how else am I gonna look at it. But I do really have a problem with just taking a “No, it can’t be done” at face value because I have pushed back on that and found that actually it can be done enough to be very skeptical when I hear it, even from a professional.
September 16, 2022
273. How to stop breaking promises to yourself
We beat ourselves up, thinking we have no willpower, when really we just have some emotions we are afraid to feel. You don’t have a willpower problem, you have a brain that is constantly wanting to protect you with comfort and distraction. Awareness of that fact of your brain is powerful. Because guess who is in charge of that brain as soon as you are aware of what’s going on? You are! So I think we should all stop telling ourselves we have a willpower problem. I think we should all realize it’s not a trust issue with ourself, it boils down to our brain and how it was designed to work. It was designed to protect us from life threatening situations. That’s why it is so tempting to head towards comfort. Our brains are actually hardwired to protect us from bad things. These days, most of the bad things are feelings. Email me with comments! email@example.com
September 12, 2022
272. Dealing with Tragedy
Life is full of difficult times. How we navigate those difficult times determines our future. Everyone has them regardless of who you are. Everyone. And just like anything, there will be varying levels of difficulty. Hopefully none of us will have to experience the pain that Eliza’s family has experienced. Or the families of the victims of the shooting what they are experiencing. That’s, in my opinion, as bad as it gets. The families in these tragedies will have to heal and it’s going to take time. Lots of it. They will find a way to do that. The other option is not to heal and let it break you and people would understand if that happened as well. But we are so resilient. Think about how many things you have survived and here you are listening to a podcast still wanting to be the best version of yourself. I bet there have been moments that you didn’t think you’d make it through and you did. But we have to determine what we are going to make the tragedy mean for us. Are we going to let the bad guys win and curl up in a ball and hide? I hope not. firstname.lastname@example.org
September 09, 2022
271. Is someone trying to clip your wings?
Is there someone trying to hold you back either intentionally or unintentionally? It could be a well meaning parent, like mine. a not so well meaning boss, like Erika Royal’s. It could be advice from someone who has no idea what they are talking about like what happened in my husband’s story. When you are trying to do big things, when you’re trying to better your own life… You have to remember to rely on your own gut, your own intuition. Sometimes people simply don’t want to change and you’re changing scares them. You may want to change, and they may want to stay exactly where they are so you can see why they may want to hold you back a bit, that’s their issue……but are you gonna let them? The only way someone can clip your wings is if you let them. The stronger you are internally, the less likely you are to let them. My challenge to you this week. Never doubt yourself, even when others do. Never play small to fit in Always continue to work on your internal strength and develop a strong compass for what you know is right for you. And if someone is attempting to clip your wings, Find a way to fly anyway.
September 05, 2022
270. How to have your own back in relationships (yikes)
Relationships are the best aren’t they? And sometimes they are also the worst…and most of the time, the ones we have are both. Come on, you know it’s true because we’re human and we have natural human reactions and varying ideas of how things should be. A lot of that has to do with how we are brought up. Out of all the people in the world, outside of our blood relatives, we pick a few that we’re like “I like you” “let’s hang out”. And if it’s your partner then you even decide you’re gonna live in the same house and sleep in the same bed every night, it’s kind of interesting if you think about it. I love being married and I love my friends and my family as well. It brings joy to our life and sometimes it brings us pain. Maybe someone hurts your feelings or forgets your birthday, or does something terrible and now you carry around this grudge that never feels very far from the surface. You can go around like that for a while, but eventually it either goes away because you’ve decided to let it go or it grows but you keep ruminating about it. I’ve read that it’s better to be alone than in a toxic relationship. I don’t know if there’s a truer statement out there, there may be an equally true statement, but not more true. When you’re in a relationship whether it’s with a friend or partner or family member even, if it’s toxic and it’s constantly weighing on you, constantly the source of anxiety or drama or sadness, what’s that doing to you long term? You’re picking up fleas. And What is allowing yourself to be around someone like that all the time telling you? You’re not worthy of better treatment. You don’t matter enough to change things. Or worse yet, you’re subconsciously saying you aren’t capable of changing things, you’re stuck and its not your fault. That feels victimy to me and we don’t allow ourselves to play the victim, never a cool role. Sometimes in order to have your own back, you have to distance yourself from relationships that are dragging you down.
September 02, 2022
269. How come I never get enough "likes"?
We don’t need everyone else’s eyes on us to feel seen. Everyone else is worrying about their own life. Look around…it’s true and that’s ok and that’s how it’s meant to be. It’s my job to take care of my own thoughts and my own internal world. No one can do that for me. I just have to acknowledge that what I’m doing is my best and make sure every day that that’s what I’m putting forward. My best. Give these two a follow on Instagram. They put out a great message...... Dr. Amen Instagram handle: @doc_amen Tonya Leigh Instagram handle: @tonyaleigh 5 things to tell yourself every morning: I am good enough just as I am. I matter I am exactly where I’m supposed to be life is always working in my favor Today is going to be a good day.
August 29, 2022
268. Why are you hanging on to things you don't want? (Mentally and Physically)
We worry so much about what other people think when what we truly should be the most worried about is what we think. If I keep living my life trying to fit into everyone else’s I may seem happy to them but inside I’m slowly losing myself. If I drink because other people will have more fun if I do, but I don’t want it, what am I telling myself? I’m saying to myself you don’t matter. And let me say this harsh truth…if I do that and I resent my friends now because I drink even though I don’t want to, who’s fault is that? My friends? Nope. It’s mine. It’s just like being irritated that you’re keeping a piece of art you don’t like and the only reason you keep it is because great grandma painted it. Either find something you love about it or let it find its way to a home that will love it. That is something I learned in my FENG SHUI course. Only things you love should have a place in your home. Just because someone else loved it once doesn’t mean it’s right for you. The same goes for your habits and beliefs. It’s not my job to keep being the same person someone else wants me to be. It’s my job to be the person I want to be and the right people will stay and the others will drop off and that’s ok.
August 26, 2022
267. "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door" (MB)
It’s ok to be afraid. If you’re not doing something that scares you, you’re not growing. So when you’re working on a big life, You’re gonna be afraid. It’s what you do when you’re afraid that matters. The best speakers in the world still get nervous but they do it anyway. Your fears don’t go away, you just face them. You learn to dance with them, so to speak. We think something is wrong if we are afraid, but no, I think something is wrong if you’re never afraid, because that means you’re taking easy street. Tony Robbins says the big problem most people have is they think they should have no problems. You’re going to have them, you just get better at dealing with them.
August 22, 2022
266. Who controls the voice inside your head?
When you plan and have forethought, you control the voice in your head. When you don’t, that’s when anything goes and you start heading back to your comfort zone. And I know it feels so temporarily good when you cave and just eat that cake or just decide to skip the gym, but you know and I know you’re going to feel that desire again. The one that wants to be healthy and fit. The one that wants to follow through with that new business idea. The one that goes the extra mile in your relationships. We want to be the best version of ourself, we really do. The only thing standing in my way is me and the only thing standing in your way is you. That’s the first thing you have to know. You control that little guy in your head. He’s super powerful but you’re more powerful.
August 19, 2022