If you love all things Health and Wellness and style of ANY kind.....you're gonna want to hang out here! I am obsessed with constant never ending improvement and all the things that can help us do that....but also Im just curious about all the cool things that make us better! This is all in an effort to help each one of us live a WILDLY successful lifestyle!
Download the CALM app for meditation programs!
I wanted to just remind you today that you have the power inside you to not only inspire others but also inspire yourself. To be your own source of power and inspiration. I was having an entrepreneur club meeting on Saturday with my friend Brooke and we were talking about empowering thoughts and she said “I am my own power source” and I loved that so much I thought I would incorporate it into an episode!
What does that mean really? Being your own power source doesn’t mean doing everything on your own. In fact knowing that you need help and asking for it is a very powerful tool that so many women just don’t use.
Another tool that is super empowering is admitting you don’t know the answer when you don’t know the answer. There is power in saying “you know what? I don’t know, so let me do a little digging and I will get back with you.” That is perfectly ok and actually empowering to use.
Being your own power source also means knowing when it’s time to rest and not just knowing but then taking that time and actually resting. Even if it’s for a 20 minute reset. There is no badge of honor for running yourself into the ground.
Being your own power source means recognizing that self care is more important than anything else. Putting your self care first is a tool that so many women just neglect. Self care looks different for each of us and only you can define it. Do you know what that is for you? Do you have a set standard for yourself? Self care includes your mental and your physical health. It’s super empowering to set and keep a standard for self care. And this standard can be fluid, especially if you have neglected it.
When I started really deciding to get In Shape I was 30% body fat. My goal was just to get below 30%. Then as I exercised and started noticing how much better I felt and how much better my clothes looked, my standard kept getting higher. I’m working now in the 20% body fat range and that’s my standard. So meet yourself where you are right now and just say you know what? Where can I be this time next week? What can I do this week that casts a vote for who I want to be, who I identify as being?
Email me!: email@example.com
Have you been feeling stuck lately? Feeling like you do the same thing day in and day out? Maybe you wish something exciting would happen in your life? Has life become so routine you wish something would happen even if it’s bad just to give you a different pace or some new drama to talk about? Not wishing bad on anyone, just wanting something to CHANGE!
You’re too comfortable.
You feel like a rat in a wheel.
You wonder when or if life is going to get better for you.
You feel stuck in a life that isn’t making you feel ALIVE
OK ILL Stop!
Does this sound like something you feel?
Theres one thing I want you to consider Before we go any further, theres a question I want you to ponder……
Are you really stuck or is it simply the way you are perceiving your life right now. Thinking you should be further along than you are because you’re comparing yourself to other people that don’t have your unique life goals? Maybe your watching people on social media that are in the same age group as you and you think your life pales in comparison? Are you taking this into consideration when you label yourself as stuck? Seeing someone else’s highlight reel and saying your life sucks in comparison is not being fair to yourself. Maybe someone else is looking at your life and wishing they were where you are. Have you ever watched a preview of a comedy show and it was hilarious so you decide to watch it and then you realize the only funny parts were in the preview? Sometimes that is the case for life on social media as well. Not always, but often. So, take a really hard look at where you are in life right now and cut yourself a little slack. Only you know if you are playing full out or if you’re taking the comfortable path every single day……..So then. Let’s talk about that………..this is where we have to be real with ourself.
Because maybe you really are stuck and you have done nothing about changing it?
Well this episode is for you! This is your wake up call. Look it’s easy to fall into comfort and try to convince ourself that you’re happy where you are and say or “Im too young and I don’t have the experience”, or “I’m too old to do anything new” How about “My brain doesn’t work like it used to” or “You just gain weight as you get older” There are thousands of statements like these but like I always say “Im not going to depress us all by continuing in that line of thought. More than likely you know the statements you say to yourself and others that in your mind excuse you from making changes, from living that wildly successful life you thought you would be living. It’s easy to get into a groove or a rut and stay there because getting out of it would cause discomfort. Well…I believe we should be doing something every week if not every day that causes us some sort of discomfort. If you are not doing anything that challenges you or causes you a little bit of discomfort…you probably have stopped growing and more than likely you do feel stuck and you aren’t sure why.
Favorite books: "Tools of Titans" by Tim Ferris
"Atomic Habits" by James Clear
"On Fire" by John O'Leary
Favorite podcasts: "School Of Greatness" Lewis Howse
"Life Coach School" Brooke Castillo
"Kwik Brain" Jim Kwik
The idea that your thoughts create your reality is Truer than any of us would like to realize until we recognize it is true and then you get excited and really really start watching what you allow into your brain because it affects us so much.
Now, If you’re like me sometimes you hear people say “it’s what your focusing on”. Just think about something else, focus on something else and you will change the way you feel. And in the middle of something hard that is frustating to hear, but sometimes it’s true. For example, We had our family down here with us all week and the house was full of laughter and joy and when they all left and it was just me and Eric….. I felt a little sad, the house felt a little empty but I know that the reason I was sad was because of the contrast of the house being full of people I love and now it’s quiet. I was focusing on what was instead of what is right in front of me. I was feeling the contrast….I let myself feel it for a little bit but then we got busy exercising, riding bikes, focusing on other things like reading, talking over lunch about what we would do for the day and dinner, enjoying each others company and suddenly I felt so much better….that is an easy scenario of how changing your focus can fix your feelings. Start being intentional and aware of the thoughts in your head because that will really help you be able to feel better when the situation just needs a focus change.
Scott Adams has a quote about our brain and how it isn’t designed to process everything in its environment, so it has to set up filters. And those filters are what you pay attention to, what you focus on. Think about that for a minute and maybe pause this for a second if you need to and really think about what it is you are paying attention to regularly. Is it the news? Social Media? Gossip? Are you filling your brain with enough positive input to outweigh the negative? When you focus on filling your brain with positive input, it creates filters for your mind that are positive and the more you do that, the better you are able to feel calm during the storm. At first, your brain is going to want to jump back to the drama, because if you have been used to drama your brain literally has created grooves/patterns that are comfortable for you. Drama can be a drug that you keep going back to. So at first avoiding it will be hard but eventually, you’ll want it less and less. Think of creating a new path through a forest…..at first it’s a lot of work, but once the path is taken a few times, it becomes way easier to use. That is how it is for your brain as well. These filters we create are how we look at the world.
Author of "You can drop it"! Order on Amazon...it's AMAZING!
Ilana and I discuss mindset tips for weight loss and also her amazing journey on Tik Tok, instagram and losing 100 lbs!
Join us for a fun episode..we also talk about water intake and tracking
My challenge this week: Pick an area of your life where you are done settling and decide what it would look like if it was already wildly successful. What’s the ultimate outcome? 18% body fat? Having a successful business that you love? Clarity is the goal here. You don’t even have to know how it’s going to happen. Clarity of outcome is crucial. Know your outcome. Write it everywhere, create a digital vision board, put sticky notes on your mirror and your fridge and then watch your brain help you solve the puzzle of how you’re going to do it.You are worthy just for being human. You are worthy not because someone else tells you you are but because you were born, yeah it’s as simple as that. You are a gift from God or the Universe or whatever belief system you have. It is not an accident that you are here and that you are where you are. If you’re listening to this podcast this message is meant for you. What is your purpose, your passion, your dream? You are worthy of that dream and you are meant for it.
So now that that’s settled. What does feeling worthy look like? How does someone that feels worthy walk around this crazy fascinating world we live in? I am someone who knows what it feels like to feel worthy but also times in my life where I felt very unworthy. I can remember a time I had a minister once tell me that I was not worthy of having my prayer heard by God and that he would have to pray for me in order to have my prayers heard. I was probably 22 or so and I remember the feeling of hopelessness that came with that thinking I wasn’t even worthy to pray? I look back now of course and realize how ridiculous that was for him to say and also how it couldn’t further from the truth. You might be thinking to yourself well that’s just crazy and it is.
I bet though, you can think of things people said that may have shaped your own worthiness. You’ll never be successful, you aren’t good enough, you’re bad because you did this or that. I could go on but I don’t want to depress us.. And listen..everyone has a story and some are worse than others but if you’re listening right now..you are NOT your past. You are NOT what someone else decides you are and because I love you...and I only want what’s best for you.
I want you to know that your life is your own. No-one else can do it for you. Your life is going to be exactly what you make of it. We can hang onto the stories Of our life and all the reasons we can’t do something OR We can decide right now that enough is enough. And back to the question of what does feeling worthy look like? It looks like not settling. It looks like not tolerating toxic relationships. It looks like setting boundaries In the relationships you do have. It looks like having a healthy relationship with food. It looks like having an environment that you enjoy and is worthy of you. You guys I can continue all day on this But I know you have things you got to do so let me say this.
Bodybuilding, Fitness competition
Curious about a day in the life of a fitness competitor? We talk about it in this episode! Also about the tan, the bathing suits and thriving in spite of health issues.
Fructose, Dairy, Glucose
So many of us spend a lot of our life consuming whether that’s what we are watching, eating, reading, or buying. Often, We fill our heads with entertainment and distraction and we fill our closets and fill our homes with things when what we really want is to feel happy feel loved and fulfilled and especially we want to feel joyous and alive.
Alright, Hard question incoming…..When’s the last time scrolling on instagram or fb or tiktok made you feel alive? When’s the last time buying a new pair of shoes made you feel joyous for longer than a day? I’m a shoe and purse girl so I understand it can make you feel temporary joy. But seriously. When is the last time you really thought about what YOU want out of life? What is it that brings you joy? I want you to Think about just for a second when was the last time you really felt pure joy? Really think about that. NOw, if you did that... My guess is no one pictured themself scrolling Facebook or Instagram or tik tok.
More than likely it was a moment on the lake riding on a boat feeling the fresh air on your skin. It was the moment with your family or friends enjoying a nice bottle of wine over dinner maybe on the patio. It was experiences. It was time spent with people you love. It was time spent doing something new or learning something new. It was most certainly not scrolling away on your phone.
Why then is it that we are so hooked to our phones? Its kind of sadly normal anymore to see a group out to dinner and at least one is spending time on their phone, if not all. My husband and I were in Bora Bora in a restaurant on the water and there was a young couple seemingly on their honeymoon and honestly they were on their phone the entire night. I felt kind of sad for them. The person right next to you, the live one that you have chosen to spend time with and they have chosen to spend time with you... they are more important than anything someone has to say on social media. Im saying this because we all do it. We have all been guilty of it.
My interview with Carol Langsdon of The Langsdon Clinic answers all your questions about botox she gives us skincare tips!
Check out their site on Shopify to order their fabulous skin care line. (I LOVE it!)
We answer these questions:
You have run a successful facial business for over 30 years. Dr Langsdon your husband has been voted one of the top facial plastic surgeons in America and there have been so many awards you guys have won over the years. How did you get started and what do you think is the key to your success?
I personally LOVE botox. Can you explain how it works? How long does it last and also does it hurt? I can answer that because I get it!
Are there any services that you guys offer that are sort of hidden gems?
You have an exfoliator product that I love. Can you explain how that works?
OK, sometimes I see people and they have obviously had work done, or they have had too many fillers. You guys don’t let people do that and I love that. Everyone leaves looking natural. They look like themselves just a fresher, younger version. How do you keep it where people look natural?
So now you have been making women and men look younger for many years. Out of the non surgical services you offer, which ones give you the most bang for the buck so to speak? (lol)
What can someone do to make their skin look younger if they are not ready to have any of the services performed? Is there a skin care regimen you suggest?
What advice would you give to yourself back when you were just getting started?
So this week: I challenge you to
Number 1: Set a very specific goal
Number 2: Write it down in your day planner or set alarms for it on your phone, put it on sticky notes on your mirror whatever it is you use to set intentions for your day.
Number 3: Put a meeting on your calendar with your coach to review your week and how you did on your goals.
Clarity is power. General goals aren’t going to cut it. You have to be specific. SO. What does a general goal do for you? Tony Robbins says if say “my goal is to lose weight”. Or my goal is “I wish I had more money”. Well then if you lose 1/2 lb and you make $1 then technically your brain will say you have reached your goal. That’s basically the outcome you asked for.you lost weight and you have more money…
So I talk so much about doing everything you can to be happy and also to have a good mindset. It really is the main ingredient to living a wildly successful life, regardless of what your version may be and we all have different versions which is what makes life so fascinating and interesting.
But how do we find the energy and the motivation to do it? Consistently? Well, it definitely helps to have a coach and I have had coaches my whole adult life at different times. But sometimes it just isn’t reasonable to have a coach for whatever reason whether its time or money so how do you stay motivated to be awesome day in and day out on your own?
For starters, let me start with you probably aren’t going to be awesome day in and day out, that was just me getting overly excited. I don’t want anyone to think that is reality. You are going to have periods of awesomeness along with other periods of normalness and probably one or two periods where it isn’t so great. That’s how life works. The more you practice being awesome or exceptional the more it will become routine. Why? Because you set higher standards and thats your new set point. That’s your new standard.
The question I want to ask you today is. What if and how could you….be your own life coach day to day. Periodically you will need to have a mentor but day to day how can you be your very own life coach?
You know how when you have an accountability partner and you don’t want to let them down or maybe you have a friendly competition going on? How can you create that for yourself?
For starters, you’d have to know what you want. What result do you want? Your brain wants clarity and will search for the answer without you even being aware of it as long as you have Clarity, or a specific goal or outcome.
Low mood? Weight gain? Trouble building muscle? Mood swings? Low Energy?
Dr. Pearson and I talk about women and men's hormones and how they affect us and how we can live optimally instead of just accepting what aging offers us! This is a must listen episode for anyone!
Be PROACTIVE on your hormone health!
Book suggestion: Suzanne Somers: Ageless
Women: Physician in Michigan: Pamela W. Smith (Women's Hormones)
Men: Abraham Morgenthaler (Testosterone For Life)
@theheididawson on Instagram
I am wondering how YOU are doing. How are you handling the changes we have been through? How are you handling 2020? It has been a year full of twists and turns for pretty much everyone. There are those that have been hit harder than others. For most, I think anxiety has been pretty high. If you already had stress in your life, 2020 probably isn’t helping with that.
Some of us are terrified of getting Covid and some of us are terrified of losing our job. Some are worried about how to manage the kids being home for school and others are trying to explain to our children why they have to wear a mask and can’t hug anyone. Im a hugger so I feel ya! Some are upset we are having to wear masks and others are upset because some aren’t taking things as serious as they are.
But you know what? Every single person including YOU is doing the very best with what they have been given.
I sometimes get upset over the thought of someone mandating I have to wear a mask. I had to do some soul searching as to why it bothered me so much. I realized that growing up in a religion that enforced strict rules where you were publicly shamed for not following them makes me a little sensitive to certain rules as an adult. But, You wouldn’t know that if you walked past me on the street. I can remember a time, when I was a young teenager I had a role in front of hundreds of people at a one of our church events, it was an all day event and my part was in the afternoon. At that time, girls would put gel in there hair to make it kind of curly so it had kind of a wet look. I thought it looked great and I was nervous and excited about my part. At lunch break my dad pulled me aside and said that the minister that was head of the event, didn’t like that my hair had the wet look so I needed to brush it out in order to still keep my part. If you are a girl you understand how awful that looked and how insecure I felt at that point. That was just one minor example of the strict rules I grew up with. So I carry beliefs from my past that make the mask mandate a little harder but you wouldn’t know that, if you past by me on the street. Another person has an elderly mother and father that lives with them and so wearing a mask to them is crucial and in their eyes means the difference between life and death for their parents…but, again, you wouldn’t know that either if you passed them on the street.
What I’m trying to say, we NEVER know what someone else is struggling with or why they are struggling. Especially strangers. We are all carrying a certain set of beliefs, certain ideas that have been wired into our brain depending on how and where we were raised.
@joyousleader on Instagram
Episode 61 is all about personal growth, Breathing techniques, Clarity, and GRATITUDE!
Find your inner joy!
Start your day in a way that serves YOU!
Love you guys!
Society often tells us to stay in our lane. Follow the rules. This is the path you should take to be happy. Sometimes that comes from well meaning parents, teachers, ministers. Im just saying that today…..there is one person in this world….only one that knows exactly what is right for you and that is YOU. Your path is going to twist and turn. Thats how it is supposed to be! Sometimes you think..this is it. This is my path for the rest of my life….then guess what…something happens and that path all of a sudden takes a sharp turn.
Sometimes we feel stuck. We ask is this all their is? This is especially true For high achievers and ambitious people. I am telling you that if you are feeling that right now, its ok. All that means is that you are being called to your purpose. You haven’t missed anything. You are sorting things out. You are growing. Life is a journey of different paths. Your journey has lots of different paths. You aren’t wrong to choose any of them. You know why? Because lets say you choose one and you realize that isn’t right for you….You learned something and if you think about it, you gained wisdom and knowledge for the journey ahead. I interview successful people on the Wednesday wisdom series of this podcast and one thing I have found is that when they don’t like something about their life they change it.
Enjoy the journey
@theheididawson on instagram
CHALLENGE: pick 3 and tag me on instagram👆
1. Spending time with happy positive people/having good relationships (This does not mean depending on others for your happiness)
2. Exercise and eating healthy
3. Having goals you are working towards that are challenging but attainable
4. Living in a home that is clean and somewhat clutter free
5. Getting enough sleep
6. Having new experiences
7, Doing something that you love daily (for some people its their work)
Everyones version of a wildly successful life is going to be different. For me, it means being happy, feeling fulfilled and growing, not being stagnant. Now, being happy, I think, should be on the top of everyone’s list of a Wildly successful lifestyle, because if you aren’t happy it doesn’t matter how much money you have, how fit you are or what purse you carry. If you’re not happy, nothing else really matters.
Each of us has a baseline of happiness. There are some that are naturally happier people, but studies have shown that about 40% of our happiness is in our control. That’s a lot if you really think about it.
Being happy is sometimes really easy but sometimes it is going to take work. That is with anyone. To make the times when it takes work easier we need to give ourself every single advantage there is out there.
But, just like you, there are certain things I want to have in my life in order to be happy. NOW. This is where it can get tricky. Because sometimes we make the requirements so strict that its hard to meet them! Sometimes too we have requirements that include other people and we do not control anyone other than ourself. We don’t want to have our happiness hinge on expectations of other people is a recipe for failure. Having goals that are unrealistic also set you up for failure
One of the main things Ive found doing the Wednesday interviews is that when successful people feel they are on the wrong path or headed in the wrong direction…they change it! They don’t stay unhappy. They don’t stay miserable. They don’t stay stuck. Now, They GET stuck but they don’t STAY stuck.
Sometimes we feel stuck and we think it means everything is wrong in our life. We start generalizing and think that we need to change our partner, quit our job, move somewhere else. And that may be the case but sometimes we also just need to change our thoughts about things.
So how do you know the difference between when you are on the wrong path or when you are just having a bad day? How do you know if you really need to change something or maybe you just need to change the way you look at it?
You can be on the right path and feel discomfort. (sometimes that just means you’re growing)
You can be on the right path and feel sad at times. (Life can be messy and we are all going to have moments where we feel sad. But those are moments, and they’re hopefully temporary)
We have to be careful about making permanent solutions when its only a temporary problem.
Sometimes we look at a situation and think oh Im uncomfortable so I need to change it. When I first started doing my design work, I was uncomfortable all the time, it was scary…When I first started my podcast I was uncomfortable a lot of the time. Usually when you’re doing something new, or doing something hard, it can be uncomfortable. But I ultimately find joy in both of these things, my design and podcasting. so even though sometimes I feel discomfort maybe because Im trying a new edgy product or maybe Im worrying that nobody will listen or care about my latest episode. Ive had to learn to accept the discomfort because ultimately I know that this is what I am meant to be doing right now, so I don’t need to change it, I just need to be ok with the discomfort and know that means Im growing which ultimately brings me even more joy.
Another example is Before I met my husband, I was in a relationship with a really good, nice guy. He was successful, funny, nice looking and loyal. We had different goals though, we had different hobbies, we liked doing different things. I was uncomfortable a lot and ultimately I was not finding joy in that relationship.
Right about that time, when I was dating him but it was not going great…. I was scheduled to go to an Anthony Robbins seminar in California. So off I go. At this seminar, Tony had everyone, all 2300 people write a letter describing their perfect soulmate. He wanted you to specify Your very perfect version of who you wanted to be with whether you were in a relationship or not. I was pretty distraught and basically wanted to come home at that point. You see, I knew that if I wrote that letter, I would have to admit that I was settling with my then boyfriend and it would ultimately mean I would have to break it off. Long story short. I wrote the letter through tears knowing that with it was the end of my relationship. I broke up with him the day I got home and never looked back. I needed to change it because neither one of us was going to find long term joy in that relationship, we were too different.
Podcast: Design You on Apple and Spotify
Business, Entrepreneur, Women, Self improvement, introspection, Design you,
Whatever you are working towards, Tobi Fairley can help you get there! Listen in for some really great insight into business and Coaching!
@theheididawson on Instagram
Who knew cleaning your windows or opening the window treatments could have an impact on our happiness. Sometimes we get so stuck in routine mode, or work mode or busy mode that we stop noticing the things that are sort of stacking up around the house that can subtly affect our mood. So here are a few other things to be aware of that pretty much affects us all.
1. Clean Windows
2. Opening the window treatments every day so the natural light comes through
3. Making the bed every morning (my master bedroom is upstairs, if I didn’t make the bed and open the shades, I literally dread going up the stairs…)
4. Stacked anything….old mail, old magazines, old books. Ive started cutting my favorite picots out of my magazines and either putting them on a mood board or in a folder and then throw the magazine away. I used to keep them but they were stacking up so I came up with a solution!
5. Keeping things you don’t love out of obligation or because you spent money on it. If it doesn’t make you happy and you don’t love it, let it go…. You can donate it and it might bring joy to someone else! (Yep this includes things your mom gave you….If you don’t like it don’t have it around, it will mess with your head.
6. Have at least one space that is totally clutter free. Your brain wants a clear space to be able to relax and that is hard to do in a cluttered space.
7. Finally, fix the little things around the house that bother you but you just haven’t taken the time to do it. Things like crooked pictures, wonky lamp shades, burned out light bulbs…thats a big one….especially in the bathroom! (Ill put all of these in the show notes so you can read them again if you want)
So, You guys may laugh at this or you might relate, I don’t know I hope at least one person at least can relate…. Lately I kept seeing the letters WFH everywhere. I kept seeing articles like “With WFH becoming a big thing or one post said hit me up if you WFH…..Finally I was like ok I’m googling it…I felt a little silly once I saw what it was…Work From Home! Of course!!!
So Working from home is such a big thing now that it has its own acronym and my question for you whether you WFH or not….Do you find joy where you spend your time? Do you enjoy your home office? If you don’t work from home, Do you enjoy coming home? Does your home bring you joy?
Im an interior designer by trade so I appreciate very much how your home can make you feel a certain way. In fact, I get paid to create a certain feel. It is one of my joys in life to create a space that makes someone feel happy, calm, rested, inspired or whatever emotion someone wants to feel.
But is that the key to a home that makes you happy? Does your home have to be perfectly designed? Well just like everything in life it’s different for each one of us. I feel the happiest in an environment that is beautiful, but that isn’t just what it is all about for me and I bet it isn’t for you either. In fact studies prove there’s more to a happy home than just beautiful design and I personally have seen it so many times first hand.
I had a client that Id been working with a while. She and her husband bought an older home that was being renovated. We had done a lot of work but still had more to do. I came in one beautiful sunny day and I could not wrap my head around how good and beautiful the space felt! IT felt so different from the last week, which was odd…I kept saying that and then it hit me….and I said You had your windows cleaned! She laughed and said, its like a different house. That was something on the list but once it was completed, you guys the difference that it made..it was just astonishing. That space came alive with that one little move of having the windows professionally cleaned!
Why is Forgiveness sometimes so hard? I do not ever think I have all the answers but I do have some life experience to speak to when it comes to this topic. As Im sure you do as well. I don’t think any of us have made it through our whole life without have to forgive or be forgiven. But why is it so hard sometimes to forgive?
For one thing, I can say because often we think that by forgiving, we let this person off the hook, or maybe we feel if we forgive them than they will think what they did is ok and keep it up, or maybe you want to stay angry as a way to hurt this person that hurt you.
I sometimes talk about my personal life on this podcast. I have a really blessed life and I can’t complain about anything. Just like everyone, including you, I have experiences with people where sometimes I have to forgive or be forgiven.
I was raised in a religion that was pretty strict. There are some good people but some of their rules I simply don’t agree with. Long story short I am no longer a part of it and there are members of my family who are. One of them is my little sister. For the record, I have 2 little sisters, one you hear me talk about a lot, thats Molly, and we are very close. The other one not so much. It is not that I don’t love her but you see for religious reasons she has cut part of the family out of her life because she doesn’t want her kids to be around people who don’t believe like she does. We have been a very close family for my whole life and this was a new thing that happened in the last couple years because the kids are getting to an age where they can start thinking for themselves and that scares her. I’m not creating this, we had a lunch where she basically told me this.
Now, I don’t have children and have been very close to my niece and nephew whom I now have not been able to part of their life for almost 2 years. They are growing up and I am missing that. Now. I tell you this story because for a little while, I was really angry and wanted her to feel the same pain I felt. I quickly realized that was not going to change anything and in fact was only hurting me, no-one else. I had a decision to make, let the seed of anger grow and use the situation to create drama with other family or I could recognize that the only thing I control in life is my thoughts about anything. My thoughts were turning into things like “I hope she gets what is coming to her’, it even got so bad I felt sort of happy when I heard something didn’t go her way. This is not something that Im proud of or that is true to my nature.
@theheididawson on Instagram
So I am going to start off this episode with a little story. It is one I think of often and it helps me with perspective, I hope it will have the same affect on you. There was a man on a subway train in New York. He had 4 very young kids and they were running around that train like little crazy people and he seemed oblivious to it, like he didn’t even care. A woman sitting close finally had enough and let the dad have it, saying he needed to quiet down his children, the man, apologized profusely and said he would make sure to do it, they had just come from the hospital where their mom had died and so it was hard on them and he was trying to figure out what to do next. I think about this story whenever someone is having a bad day...maybe a waiter is a bit grumpy or the store clerk is slow, or someone is letting their baby just cry. I have no idea what’s going on in that persons life.
Life is so interesting isn’t it? And relationships with other people make it even more interesting.
Think about the relationships you have whether it’s with your mom and dad, your siblings, your friends, your coworkers.
These are the people that often shape our world. Do you understand that each one of these people has a life outside of you? And yep that includes your mom. I’ve seen those memes where the daughter is like what else does my mom have to do besides answer the phone when I call?? I mean seriously. How can you not answer? I find it funny and so true. We often think we are the center of the universe and we are but it’s only the center of our very own personal universe. Your mom, as long as she is healthy, has a whole other set of problems, friends and life outside of you. Same thing with your friends. Sometimes you think something another person does has something to do with you and often, it has nothing to do with you! That’s a good thing.
Our brain likes drama, it also is egocentric. It will try to make you think that everything going on around you has to do with you. That waiter doesn’t like you, the store clerk is lazy or deliberately being slow. Your coworker must be mad at you because they haven’t said good morning.
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Brendon Burchard: Motivation Manifesto
Do you struggle with going to the bathroom like you should? Gut health is crucial to a holistic approach to your body. I talk with Amber Thompson, the founder of RenewSpaMemphis all about the seriousness of gut health and the role Colonics can play.
I used to have this human tendency and still struggle with at times, to think I’m the only one. I’m the only one that would buy a pack of cookie dough and eat half of it, I’m the only one that because I worked out decided I could eat a bowl of chips and salsa and drink 2 margaritas. I’m the only one that spends 3 hours on tik tok without being aware of it. I could keep going but I like to keep these short and sweet and nobody wants to air all their dirty laundry right???
But see that’s just it. The reason I thought I was the only one? Because for the most part we don’t want to talk about the things we do that make us disgusted with ourselves. That’s a strong word and I use it carefully and with love for me and for you because that’s exactly how it can feel. And I have come a long way with good habits but it isn’t something that one day you just magically aren’t going to have any bad habits or thoughts or feelings. I still have to fight my Twitter habit. The other day, I had so much I needed to do and here I was hitting refresh on Twitter to distract myself from thinking about all the things I had to do. As soon as I recognized that I was doing it, I had the same feeling I used to have when I would eat a bag of those white powdered donuts. I asked myself why can’t I stop? Why is it so hard to be disciplined all the time? Am I the only one?
I’ve created really really good habits for myself and I still have to continue to protect myself from myself. You see, we all have this magnificent thing in our head called a brain. It controls everything. The part of your brain that you have to watch is your primitive brain, that’s the one that wants instant gratification. ...the front of your brain, the neo cortex will be the one that stops you, that tells you that isn’t good for you and we aren’t going to do that. We all have that same brain. We just have to train it the same way we have to train our body if we want it to be fit and healthy. It is possible to do it, you just have to want it more than you want the thing.
And guess what? If you stop exercising your muscles get weaker and your body gets lethargic. The same thing goes for your brain. You see. You Aren’t the only one with that tendency you have. You aren’t the only one that overeats in your car so no one sees you or spends 3 hours on your phone with your distraction of choice, or fantasizes about someone that you shouldn’t be fantasizing about, You aren’t the only one staying in a bad relationship because you’re afraid to be alone, or whatever it is you struggle with, you aren’t the only one!
BUT YOU ARE the only one that is going to save yourself. You are it. You are the only one that will delete tik tok from your phone completely so it isn’t an option. You are the only one that will finally decide enough. I’ve had enough and today is the day I’m going to commit. Today is the day I’m going to hire the trainer, work with the mindset coach, Today is the day I’m going to block that website so I can’t get on it, block that person from my phone today is the day I’m going to tell my primitive brain that I’m in charge. I know who I am at my core and Im not accepting anything less anymore.
If you struggle with knowing who you are at your core go to my website and download the free tool Ive created for a fun easy first step to clarity and to help you decide and remind yourself who you are at your core.
Sometimes we think something or someone is going to knock on the door and say hello, I’m here to fix your problems and all will be well or that something is going to magically appear and save me. I have good news for you and if you’re listening to this it is your wake up call and I’m here to tell you right now that person, that white knight is YOU. You are are the one. The only one. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
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If you are struggling and most people I have talked to are, then just know that you are not alone. We each are struggling in our own way. I have struggled lately because things are so up in the air of when we will go back to normal. Im ok when I know the timeframe but the idea of not knowing is tough and Im sure a lot of you feel the same. I love to be out and about and traveling and having dinner with friends and I also love for the people around me to be happy and thats kind of hard right now for a lot of people. so I have been really having to work on my mindset and not let myself get too down. I have been staying off social media and the news as much as possible because and I know I talk about it a lot but it can drain you! The reason it drains you is because you are allowing other people to control your emotions. The news gets paid to create drama. Social media is designed to create anxiety because how can you possibly keep up with the perfect lives that you see displayed? If you could see the back story on most posts you would be surprised. So Always be aware of how much time you spend letting others control your mindset.
Honestly I have found that focusing on what I do control and not only what I can do to make myself better but also how I can add value to others too has been a way of keeping my sanity. I can’t control what everyone else is doing and I certainly can’t control what the government decides is open or not open but one thing I know now is we don’t know how long things are going to be weird so we can use it as an excuse anymore. We cant say oh well “because Covid Im just going to eat whatever or not exercise, or watch 15 straight hours of Netflix”. We cant do that anymore if we want to be the best version of ourself. Right now is when you see what you are made of. Right now is when you show others what is possible! Right now is when you make a plan for what the rest of your week is going to look like regardless of what is going on externally. Prove to yourself you can do it.
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Right now is the perfect time to be able to really decide if what you are doing is being true to who you are. We are in the age where working from home and the internet allows for so many of us to design a life exactly the way we want it.
Sometimes we are afraid to show who we really are because what if people laugh? What if they make fun of us? Let me start first by saying that if you are past 6th grade and Im assuming you are because you’re listening to this podcast then you should not be worrying about others laughing at you, in fact I hope you surround yourself with people that support you and encourage you. They may not agree with you but making fun of you is a trick that 6 graders did because they weren’t taught better! Ok off that soapbox….sorry. so how do we show up as our true self? First of all. I believe you need to know your own worth, your own value and what you love doing and who you really are. Really dig deep and come up with who you are truly to your core. Just like I described myself earlier, how would you describe yourself to your core?
Make a list right now of who you feel you are at your core…I describe myself as feminine, loving, creative, fun and driven. Knowing this will help you decide if your living in a way that honors who you are.
Living congruently with who you are means your work lines up with the real you. I started my design career with my contractors license building homes with my dad. I found myself having to try to harness subcontractors, and if you have worked in that industry, you know that isn’t easy! Don’t get me wrong, I love them but very often squeaky wheel gets the grease if you know what I mean. I had to be pretty strong with them to make sure they finished my job before they ran off to start another job for someone that was yelling at them a little louder to get it done, I didn’t like who I had to be to be successful at that, it felt like work dealing with them but it showed me what I did love and that was the design. That is where I thrived. You know how you hear about the journey you’re on or the path that takes you where you need to be? So often what you are doing is the stepping stone to doing the thing you have always dreamed of doing if you are open and don’t get too comfortable!
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Books: Atomic Habit by James Clear and The confidence Code by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay
Podcast: Pain Free and Strong Radio with Dr. Tina Moore
Nutrition and Fitness viewed holistically
Coaching women to succeed in their goals!
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!. Expectations can wreak havoc on our happiness because if they aren’t met we are upset. Not everything in life goes as planned. There are setbacks. Things happen, we mess up. Basing our happiness on specific outcomes that are out of our control is a sure way to be miserable. I take on the belief that if were meant to be, it would be. If not something better is coming along. Didn’t get the job? A job that is more suited is around the corner. Didn’t get the second date? Thank goodness because someone better is coming up. I seriously write in my journal every single day that I am grateful that Im exactly where Im supposed to be right now and things are always working out in my favor. And you know what? It’s true. And it’s true for you. Always be looking for the light at the end of the tunnel or what you can learn from a situation that didn’t turn out the way you wanted it.
2. Never ever ever ever ever Compare yourself to others. Trust me. Its a dead end street. The next time you start to say well this person is doing this already or Im not as successful as her. Stop and think. That may be true but maybe you spend more time with your friends and family. You have more time with your dog (which is super awesome). Your version of success and happiness has to be defined by one person. Thats you. Whats meant for you will be yours. No-one else is going to get it. There is not a finite supply of success or happiness. It’s possible for everyone and it looks different for everyone. It comes in all different shapes and sizes. Keep working on a better version of you. You’re unique and beautiful and are exactly where you are supposed to be. OH and guess what? We are human beings and once we reach a goal? We want more so you’ll always be growing. You’ll always want more that is the joy of the journey!
3. Do more of the things you love. Think about the times that you are or were the happiest. My guess is it involves family and friends, relaxing, being in nature of some sort. Are you doing enough of the things that make you happy? Do you spend enough time actually enjoying life? That is what we are put here to do. Many times we think work can’t wait. I have to be on call at all times. If you’re an emergency room dr maybe but most of us aren’t that. Can we carve out time each day, yep, each day to do something we love. Something that makes us happy. I know its a Monday but go out to dinner with friends! Turn your thoughts around a bit about fun. Start doing things out of the ordinary Mix it up a little. Go for a walk in nature without being distracted by your phone, Invite friends over on a Tuesday for dinner and cards, Pick a day where when you come home you don’t worry about your to do list, you simply enjoy time with your family, friends or simply being alone without the thought of having to DO.
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Ed is a retired professional boxer and is well known on Twitter for his super authentic style tweeting...notably his "Coffee so black" tweets!
I started thinking about how much we are influenced by what we see or hear or talk about. It made me think about a few questions. What is our addiction to our phone, social media, the news doing to us? How much is it influencing what we do or think? What is it doing to our brain? What is it doing to our relationships?
For instance. Call me naive but I believe most people are genuinely good. I choose to believe that we are all created equal. I choose to want everyone regardless of their skin color. I also recognize that we all have bias of sorts. I am choosing to recognize mine when it pops up and check myself. Racism exists. We know it does. You are either living proof through first hand experience or you have seen it occur. It may be that you only see subtle instances. But listen We are a point where just don’t be ok with that anymore. Don’t be ok with the subtle instances….don’t laugh it off. All you have to say is (in a very loving way) Thats not funny. Love and respect everyone regardless of their skin color. If we all did that, what a different world it would be. But think about this. How often do you go into a restaurant or grocery store and people are friendly and nice, it doesn’t matter what color you are, most people seem genuinely kind. I believe our natural instinct is to be loving and kind. Our influences are what change that.
Sometimes though if I listen to a news show and they are harping on one race or another then that would be on your mind. In your thoughts. If you see someone that is of that race, because of the influence of that news show, you might be thinking ….do they dislike me? Do they think I dislike them? Are they angry at me? Do I smile? Will they smile back? This isn’t a natural thing guys! Think about kids. It doesn’t matter AT ALL about the color of skin. They just want to play and if you like the same thing they like they want to play with you! That’s what comes naturally. The other stuff is taught or put into our brain by our surroundings, most often by the news or ignorance and it’s been permeating social media lately as well. It’s hard not to see it. I think long term, whats happening is a good thing. We are talking about it. We are having conversations. We just all have to work together to make it better. I choose to believe Im no better than any other human being. I have talents and skills that are mine, specific to me and you do too. I love that! Don’t be manipulated and influenced by negative media but also realize that there are other viewpoints then your own and sometimes they are a very different perspective. So always try to be open to other peoples feelings and opinions.
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Ive started getting back with clients and working in design and I didn’t realize how much I missed it. I missed creating. I missed being inspired by products that people have designed. I missed the co creation I have with my clients and the friendship. It really does remind me though how much the processes of life duplicate each other. The process of design is so aligned with the process of creating the life we want. They are very similar. We have an inspiration, we define exactly what we want, then we create a mood board, put together a plan and schedule it. We schedule every single detail.
When I put a plan together for a client and we follow the plan…its no surprise to me when it turns out amazing and beautiful, it turns out exactly the way I thought it would because we followed the plan. It can be the Same thing for your life. If you follow your plan you won’t be surprised when you succeed because you knew you would. You planned it out.
For so many though, there is no plan for their life at all. And if that is you and you are here and listening, its ok. It is never too late to start. I don’t care where you are in life. Look, life happens and you get into routines and settle into mediocrity because you tell yourself you should just be happy you have a job. Or you settle for an average relationship because you’re just glad you aren’t alone. We don’t dream big because who are we to dream big? Who are you NOT to dream big? If you have a desire in your heart to do something bigger than what you are currently doing then that is the universe telling you to do it. That’s your inner guidance system drawing you towards the thing you are meant to do. Sometimes, we don’t even consider a life beyond what we know as possible. Because no-one we know has done it and it’s scary to dream that way. What if we fail? What if others laugh? What if you succeed? What if you feel more alive than you have ever felt before?
If you are someone who wants more from life and I bet you are because you are listening to this podcast then consider using the design process I talked about as a tool to get what you want. I have created a free pdf that you can download on my website at heididawson.com. It’s a simple form, but it tells you each step of the process and it can work for any area. So lets say you already have a plan but are struggling to succeed, maybe its in a certain area whether its trying to lose weight, trying to stop drinking so much, trying to get a better job. We have to beware of some of the tricks our brain will play on us. One of the biggest tricks and it is especially bad right now is distractions. Distraction is a choice. We choose to be distracted. Its easier to distract ourself than it is to follow the plan. It’s more comfortable. Especially when the life we want to create scares us. So we settle ourselves down and we ease back into our comfort zone.
Your Comfort zone is not your friend. Your comfort zone is the place your brain wants you to stay because it’s safe. It’s safe but it will make you soft.
@theMoniqueWalker joined me for a conversation on being a strong black woman in America right now. How do you gain perspective on something you cannot experience yourself? You listen. You learn. You grow. You communicate. We talk about racism in American and Monique answers questions that I have regarding current topics. You're going to love this episode!
Just like being back in the gym working out! My body hasn’t felt this sore in a long time but it’s good because my muscles are growing! They are being recharged. Just like I feel my brain has been opening and expanding this week which I love. I love growing. I always say I love to learn. I hope to learn something new every single day. Growth and learning physically and mentally changes your world which changes THE world. We weren’t put on this earth to grind it out and then die. We were put on this earth to create, to grow, to expand and to love.
That is something else that changes the world. Being able to love one another. Another thing I like to say is that you can put me in a room with hundreds different people and I can find something I love about each one. Truly. Have you ever thought about that? Being able to look at someone that you don’t know and wonder what it would be that you’d love about them? I think we often let others affect us and trust me I work on this every single day. sometimes someone you’ve just met maybe rubbed you the wrong way or maybe you grabbed an opinion from your head because of the way they were dressed or how they carried themself. I was at a condo in Florida a few years back and Eric was sleeping so I thought oh I’ll go down to the pool while he naps and you could see the pool from our balcony I looked to see how crowded it was and I saw a big kind of gruff looking guy swimming and he had tattoos on his arms and I thought oh maybe I’ll wait. And then I caught myself and I said. You know what? That guy could be your brother. My brother is the sweetest most loving human being youll ever meet. He has tatoos and he can be a bit intimidating because he’s a big guy with tattoos. And I
This Wednesday we are starting our new Wednesday Wisdom series! I’m super excited! It’s the first in a series of interviews I’m doing with Wildly successful people from all over the world. We are getting an inside look into their day to day life and what makes them super successful so be sure to listen in on Wednesday!
Your being happy makes everyone around you feel happier just by being around you. Have you ever known someone that you know that every time your with them it just feels like the sun shines a little brighter? How can you be that person? I don’t mean you have to walk around with a silly grin on your face, I mean truly and authentically happy from the inside out. I know people like that and I want to be around them. And listen, life happens so there are always going to be times we have to struggle but having an optimistic outlook and a genuinely happy disposition can make those times much easier.
Let me also say there are different personality types and some are just predisposed to be happier. What if you aren’t? Well you can reach for the closest feeling you can that can get you closer to happy like maybe: Feeling Grateful, Calm, peaceful, hopeful, These can all be a bridge to happiness, if happiness feels a little far off.
I talk about this a lot I know but we have to be so aware of what we are feeding our mind. We have to be aware of how much negativity we allow in. This comes in forms of TV, News, Social media, toxic relationships. So being very aware of what we let in is important and a good way not to cultivate negative emotions but…..
How do we cultivate the positive emotions we want?
Just like training for physical strength, you have to train your mental strength as well.
Our brains are not made for happy thoughts, they are made for survival. We have to develop good habits to cultivate good emotions. Left to its own plan the brain will be drawn to drama, chaos and negativity. So how do we train for mental strength?
Well for sure we need to start our day by rewiring it for positivity by: Grateful journaling or just writing down 3 things we are grateful for. Also, quieting our mind for a few minutes per day through meditation. Finally allowing in good, positive information to counteract all the negative information we are dealing with right now. We do that through podcasts, or books, great conversations with friends, or just getting out in nature! Some of these things like Grateful journaling and meditation may seem hard at first just like working out but after you get into a habit, you become addicted! And that’s what I would call a good addiction! Thats An addiction that sets you up for success every single day! Ok guys I hope you enjoyed this episode! I love you all and will talk to you in a couple days when we have our first Wednesday Wisdom interview! Its with John Roussot and you don’t want to miss it! Bye guys!
It's not easy is it? I share a few cringe stories of my experience with being wrong!
But for now, when you think someone else is wrong or someone else thinks you are wrong, maybe have an honest conversation with them about why they feel that way. I love this new question a friend and I came up with recently. “Help me understand, Im so curious because thats not my view, and I am interested in why it is yours.” It could be that their past is dictating their thoughts and feelings just like mine have been. It may not change your mind but now you can at least understand why they feel that way which makes it so much easier to have a conversation about it. And look. Maybe in cases like this, we just give up on the idea that someone has to be right and someone has to be wrong! Isn’t that a freeing thought?
My final point is that it is not a sign of weakness to admit when you are wrong. Quite the opposite in my opinion, its a sign of confidence and strentgh, showing you are open minded and flexible…two more key ingredients for a Wildly Successful Lifestyle! Love you guys and I will talk to you in a few days!
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What the heck is intentional living??
A good place to start in my opinion is the actual definition of Intentional living. The definition of Intentional is Done by design. Synonyms are conscious, deliberate, purposeful and willful.
So it’s living a life by design!
In my design world. When I’m working on a project, I have a process that works for getting a project from My clients desires into a space that is everything they dreamed it would be. This process is the exact same process that works for intentional living.
Picture what you want your life to look like
Visualize it with vision boards (digital or using magazines and glue)
Put a plan together for it
Schedule it by putting it on your calendar
Follow the plan (even if there are little hiccups here and there and there will be.
Now listen. I also know that sometimes we are living in survival mode. Survival mode means you are in a crisis or there is a current crisis relevant to you, like whats been going on with Corona virus. But realize that survival mode needs to be temporary. We need to move from survival mode as soon as we can. You can’t live in survival mode and thrive. Staying in survival mode too long can make you feel like a victim. Victimhood gives your power to someone other than yourself.
Living intentionally means taking responsibility for every aspect of our life.
It can be easy to follow the daily grind and think its going to get you somewhere awesome, maybe you’ll luck out or you get one big hit, maybe you’ll win the lottery to get where you want to be. Guys hoping to get lucky isn’t a plan.
Our brains are conditioned and wired to help us survive. It isn’t conditioned or wired to help us to thrive. The reason our brain is wired simply for survival is because our ancestors lived in constant survival mode….having to find food, find shelter and run from saber tooth tigers. We don’t have to do that anymore,. For most of us, Food is abundant, shelter is not an issue and I don’t even think saber tooth tigers are around anymore. Someone will factcheck me on that Im sure. But we can train our brain to help us thrive! How do we do that How do we train our brain to help us thrive?
One of the best and easiest things you can do:
Prioritize and schedule your day.
Every morning rewire your brain for positivity by grateful journaling
Give your brain a chance to be still by meditating for at least 5 minutes a day.
Pick up a practice of listening to a positive podcast Like mine….I do a new episode 3 times a week and they are usually under 10 minutes so you can listen while you’re making coffee, exercising, or driving to work!
finally, Download the “my three words” pdf on my website and come up with your very own 3 anchor words to guide your day! I put my website in the show notes but its heididawson.com, its new and its beautiful so go check it out!
Stop waiting for things to happen and go out and make them happen! Be intentional with everything you do!
@theheididawson on Instagram
Alright, We are in an election year in the US. If you don’t live here then just trust me, its a fun interesting time to be alive…..I say that laughing because this year has been crazy already and the thought of dealing with an election on top of it just is kind of surreal. But hey here we are and we are going to all be just fine and life is going to be ok regardless of what happens. We have to believe that.
Now, I know that these are pretty polarizing topics and I know that it isn’t always easy to have conversations because people have differing opinions and I love that. I love that in America we get to believe what we want and we get to debate it out loud if we want!
It started me thinking that we live in a time where we are just so bothered if someone has a different opinion on things. The media doesn’t help in this area because they have 24 hour news and are paid to keep us watching, which is why they love to keep us in fear or riled up or anxious by creating drama around something that some politician said that they disagree with. It really has become a very interesting time because its almost like having a different opinion with someone makes it hard to have a conversation with them. Why does it bother us so much that someone else disagrees or simply has a different opinion about something that you feel strongly about?
@theheididawson on instagram
Loving someone that has hurt you may seem hard, but you know what? Love is an act of giving. You go to relationships to give love not to get love. Loving and expecting nothing in return will never feel bad. Its easy to love when someone is super lovable, but The definition of unconditional love is loving without limitations or conditions. And sometimes that means loving from afar and that is OK.
@theheididawson on Instagram
Resilience is a natural human trait. Happiness is not.
My husband sent me a quote this last week, it was from Eckhart Tolle where he said “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it”.
Our thoughts are everything. Our thoughts affect everything. Our thoughts can change everything.
So, how can we set ourself up for having the kind of thoughts that empower us?
The first thing is to: Ask better questions in everything you do:
What am I grateful for right now?
How can I add value to myself and my family today?
How can I make this situation amazing? (like my friend with the parade)
What is something I can do for someone else today? (How many times have you done something kind for someone and it lifted your mood as well?)
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We hear a lot about developing good mindset habits but we also have to eliminate bad habits as well if we want to improve our mental strength. Here are a few bad habits that seem to be growing in popularity
Not having time limitations on energy vampires, we all have our own personal version of what that is (It could be social media, video games, news watching)
You let your brain control you rather than vise versa (your brain wants to keep you safely in your comfort zone, you build mental strength by stepping out of your comfort zone…besides, remember the earlier episode thats where the good stuff is!)
You compare yourself to others ((Maybe Resenting someone else’s success or life)
Did you know that envying your friends on facebook or Instagram actually can lead to depression?
Did you know that your brain actually likes the drama of it all? Thats why we have to tell our brain what to think. The output is only as good as the input. What we put in is what we put out. but we do need to figure out ways to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. This brings us mental strength in spades! I recently finished a book called “The art of Learning” by Jeff Waitzkin where he said
“The little moments where you can push yourself beyond your comfort zone and get uncomfortable, build tolerance and slowly expand your ability to get tougher and tougher”
Kris Carr, "Crazy sexy cancer"
“Just a reminder, Everyone is going through quite a bit of anxiety and stress right now, so be gentle and maybe cut everyone some slack. And then in parenthesis he said (including yourself)
I hope this finds you happy and feeling fulfilled in your life. Do you ever feel as if your dreams are elusive? Or maybe you landed your dream and now you are looking for more? Feeling fullfilled, having success…have you ever really thought about what this means to you? To be sure it means something different to each one of us.
I love the way that Maya Angelou defined success. She said success is “liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”
I had an epiphany when I heard her definition. I thought to myself, Wow, According to that definition, Im already successful and I wonder how many of you think that too?
Are you following my line of thought here?
Norman Vincent Peale says “if you shoot for the moon, Even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars….
He got it. Follow your passion and ultimately you’ll end up somewhere awesome!
Your personal version of a Wildly Successful Lifestyle! So go have the biggest dream you can think of, follow it relentlessly and you’re likely going to end up somewhere amazing!
Ok guys! As Maya Angelou said, I hope you like yourself, you like what you’re doing and you like how soured doing it! A beautiful definition of success.. I love you all and hope you enjoyed this episode! If you did, you could show it with a 5 star rating! And also follow me on Instagram @theheididawson for lots more inspiration and I will talk to you in a few days!
A very cool lady told me one time that each of us have to figure out who we are to our core, really KNOW who we are to our core because we are going to have thoughts, fantasies and cravings that are normal but are not going to serve us. This is why really knowing who you want to be is so important, so that you can compartmentalize those thoughts and say “OK, thats just a thought but doing that would not align with who I am at my core so I will leave it right there where it is.
I love this because sometimes well meaning people, your teachers, religious leaders, parents even will tell you that just having a thought makes you a bad person. I was raised in a pretty strict religion where even thinking about a thought was considered a sin. There were entire domains of things I wasn’t supposed to think about. Why then when I would try so hard did I still think about them? Truth be told every single person in every single religion has had some sort of forbidden thought of some sort. SO It doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you normal. Acting on the thought can have detrimental consequences, depending on what it is. Sometimes we feel so bad about these thoughts we try to use super force to not have them ever.
But Trying to force yourself to NOT think a thought doesn’t work either. Harvard University did a study on the topic, they asked people in the study to NOT think about something and they just couldn’t do it. For example, Right now I want you to think about anything but a White bear. Don’t you think about that white bear. More than likely you are thinking about a white bear. Trying to NOT think about it, actually made you think about it.
So to give you a few examples, have you ever thought about grabbing all the cash from a register and running? Or how about dropping your kids off at a friends house and just never picking them up. Maybe you have fantasies about someone other than your partner. Maybe you think about eating 5 cupcakes in a row because you’re on a diet! These are some of the common thoughts.
So we are programmed to like drama and negativity! That explains so much! So we know we have negative thoughts, these thoughts often stop us from moving forward, they paralyze us.
We have what Tony Robbins calls LIMITING beliefs. So my questions for you today is “Are you aware of them”. And are you able to turn them around as soon as you notice you’re doing it?
I work on these every single day. Im so serious when I say that… I love that I can now catch myself in the act of a limiting thought and turn it around immediately. I had an eye opening experience recently.
Some very common limiting beliefs that I hear a lot are:
Im too old
I just can’t lose weight
I can’t stop eating
I hate exercise
I’ll never lose the last 10 lbs
Im just stuck in my ways, thats just how I am
This crisis we have been in is a good experiment. It teaches us that we have to be conscious. We have to be aware of our thoughts. Being aware of why we do the things we do is so important. Because maybe what you think you’re wanting, isn’t what you’re wanting at all.
Becoming aware of our thoughts is the first step.
So what can you do to be more aware?
Our brain wants us comfortable. It will lead us down a familiar path. It will try to find similar thought patterns and experiences to make us feel comfortable. Our brain doesn’t control us unless we let it. We have to tell our brain what we want. We have to feed our brain with the type of results we want.
Want to feel less stressed? Watch less news
Want to eat less? Watch less tv, those commercials understand more bout your brain and cravings then you or I ever will.
Want to be more fit in general? Follow lots of people on social media with the body you want.
Listen to the type of podcasts that feed your mind with good information.
The brain is a computer that can only compute what it is given. OK, guys I hope this gave you a little insight in case you fell prey to the Corona 15…haha Im sure you didn’t but look Crisis and stress …thats part of life so start now training your brain to have the thoughts that empower you rather than leaving you powerless.
Brendon Burchard says “You have the chance every single morning to make that change and be the person you want to be”
I love that because its so true. You get to decide. Theres no better time than NOW to decide NOT just to show up but HOW you intent to show up!
How many times have you heard that just Showing up is half the battle? Oh man, what kind of standard is that? You and me (meaning you guys listening), we aren’t those people just showing up. Im not and you’re not either if you’re here. So, what’s the other half of the battle?
Showing up PREPARED
Showing up POSITIVE
We each have our own version of what a wildly successful lifestyle is. That’s what makes the world go round. Are you living that right now? Are you on the path to living that? Do you even know what that looks like for you? I have created vision boards my whole adult life of what I want my life to look like. I create them for how I want my style to feel and look. I create them for my business and my body. Everything! Knowing what you want is the first step to having it. SO What DO you want? Do you want a body that lacks energy and vitality? Do you want to sit on the sidelines and watch other people play? Do you want to sit on the sofa and watch people live cool exciting lives on the tv? OR do you want to step out of your comfort zone and create a life you have always dreamed of, A “LIFE BY DESIGN”. Your version of a WILDLY Successful Lifestyle. This life is so possible for each of us! Maybe you’re living it and if you are I want to congratulate you! But if you aren’t and you are just getting started on the path to doing it. Really think about exactly what your ideal life would look like. How would you want to wake up feeling? How would your life look? How would you want your relationships to be? Are you in your perfect relationship or is that something you need to define
OK we’re going to church today cause Im preachin…..nah just kidding…..but seriously
Today is all about owning who you are. Empowering yourself. Being true to yourself. Living your version of YOUR wildly successful lifestyle! That looks different for each of us and that’s a beautiful thing.
I would love to start a mantra that we say every morning, here is what it would say:
I control my thoughts
I control my body
I control what I put into my body
I control what I feed my mind
I control who my friends are, what I wear and how I spend my time.
Every single one of these statements is true whether you like it or not. Whether you want to believe it or not. NEVER give this power to someone else. The people we surround ourselves with hopefully are good sounding boards for ideas or good sources of advice but listen
Did you know that every single decision you make about other people has to do with your own world view? You bring YOU into every interaction you have with other people and they do the same. Think about the relationships you have and the interactions you have. How does your world view play into these interactions? Do you notice any consistent patterns? Are you only looking at things through your world view or view point or are you able to step out of your world view to really connect and empathize with those closest to you.
It makes me think of a quote by Wayne Dyer: “When you change the way you see things, the things you see change”
It isn’t always easy to realize that the problem lies with us. It is much easier to blame the other person especially in our closest relationships. The more aware we are of our worldview, the easier it is to navigate our relationship with others.
I posted on Instagram yesterday an acronym for FEAR as I see it. I hope you saw it because I thought it was kind of clever. Ha. Here is what it said: Fear is just a Fabricated Emotion around an assumed reality. You see, Fear is a created emotion that assumes an outcome that we are unsure of.
To start off on a really positive note…..Did you know that studies have shown that OVER 90% of our fears never come to fruition? That rings true for me. There have been so so so many things that I have feared that never happened. I love this quote by Mark Twain:
“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened”
Did you know that facing your fears actually makes you stronger? Every singe time you fear something but do it anyway your brain accepts that it wasn’t so bad and the next time it gets easier and easier. I have found this to be true so many times in my life…..I watched a TED talk about Fear and how an encouraging word from someone can sometimes be the little push we need to keep going. Consider this your push! I am here for you and would love to celebrate you and the successes you have by overcoming fear! Email me @ firstname.lastname@example.org
Ok guys I hope you enjoyed this episode! Don’t forget to check out my website heididawson.com to download my free gift, the “my three words pdf” to you to help create your wildly successful lifestyle!
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