Hoopatheticals
By Jez F.M & Thom Nixon
HoopatheticalsJan 28, 2024
LEBRON is a FREE AGENT?! + Conference Finals Check-in
Free Agent Lebron James... where is he going and why will it be the Lakers?
In this episode of Who Patheticals, Jez and Thom discuss the NBA playoffs and share their thoughts on the Eastern and Western Conference Finals. They express their disappointment with the Eastern Conference, which has been plagued by injuries and lackluster performances. They also discuss the potential of the Dallas Mavericks and the struggles of Rudy Gobert.
The hosts engage in a fun segment called 'Worst Fake,' where they argue for unexpected scenarios involving LeBron James and the New York Knicks.
Overall, they provide entertaining and insightful commentary on the current state of the NBA playoffs. In this conversation, Thom and Jez discuss potential destinations for LeBron James, the future of the Milwaukee Bucks, and play a game of 'Agent Cody Banks' where they act as agents for obscure players. They also share their final thoughts and answer a rapid-fire question.
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Discussion of Eastern Conference Playoffs
06:49 Discussion of the Dallas Mavericks
13:28 Critique of Rudy Gobert's Performance
19:07 Worst Fake Segment
24:34 Discussion of LeBron James' Impact on the Lakers
25:06 LeBron James' Potential Destinations
29:10 The Future of the Milwaukee Bucks
34:09 Agent Cody Banks: Obscure Players Edition
40:43 Would you rather Bowl someone Middle-Stump, or be Hot from Behind the Arc?
The Vibes in the East are OFF!! Playoff Predictions and the State of the Bucks
Why is every team in the east seeming a bit... off. No one seems to have rhythm, and we are 2 games away from the playoffs.
In this episode of Hoopatheticals, Jez and Thom discuss the current form and playoff prospects of the Milwaukee Bucks. They analyze the team's offensive and defensive ratings compared to last year, and express cautious optimism for their playoff run. They also discuss the importance of chemistry and the need for players like Giannis Antetokounmpo and Damian Lillard to find a balance between individual performance and team success. The hosts also touch on the coaching strategies of Doc Rivers and the impact of players like Khris Middleton and Bobby Portis. They conclude with their playoff predictions and potential upsets. In this conversation, Thom and Jez discuss the current state of the NBA playoffs and share their thoughts on various teams. They talk about the lackluster performance of the Boston Celtics and the passionless coaching of Joe Mazula. They also discuss teams that have no chance of winning, such as the Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, Golden State Warriors, and Los Angeles Lakers. They express their doubts about the New York Knicks' chances of making it to the finals. They also discuss the potential matchups in the playoffs and the dominance of the Denver Nuggets. Finally, they play the segments 'Worst Fake' and 'Two Truths and a Lie' and share their thoughts on the upcoming playoffs.
00:00 Introduction and Buck's mega chat for the playoffs.
10:04 The Impact of Doc Rivers' Coaching Strategies
26:27 Team Most Likely to Be Swept in the First Round
34:01 Bad vibes in the East: The Disappointing Celtics and Passionless Coaching
41:50 Worst Fake
52:02 Two Truths and a Lie:
01:00:04 Agent Cody Bank:
Pat Bev Helps the Bucks Buck the Trend + Celts/ Knicks Playoff Predictions
In this episode of Hoopatheticals, Jez and Tommy discuss the recent performance of the Milwaukee Bucks and the impact of Pat Bev on the team. They also analyze the defensive struggles of Brook Lopez and the contributions of players like Bobby Portis and Thanasis Antetokounmpo. The hosts then move on to a heat check segment, where they share their thoughts on the Celtics, LeBron James, and Dante DiVincenzo. Finally, they discuss teams with challenging fan loyalty, including the Brooklyn Nets and the Detroit Pistons. The conversation covers the struggles and disappointments of several NBA teams, including the Detroit Pistons, Toronto Raptors, Charlotte Hornets, and Utah Jazz. The hosts also play a game of Two Truths and a Lie and conclude with the Agent Cody Banks segment.
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Check-in with the Bucks
03:05 Impact of Pat Bev on the Bucks
05:58 Brook Lopez's Defensive Struggles
07:58 Discussion on Pat Connaughton
10:03 Heat Check Segment: Celtics, LeBron, and Dante DiVincenzo
22:55 Blake Griffin and the Detroit Pistons
23:39 The Tragedy of the Toronto Raptors
25:11 The Pitiful Charlotte Hornets
27:19 The Confusing Utah Jazz
29:36 Two Truths and a Lie
32:42 Agent Cody Banks
Adrian Griffin Fired! Doc Rivers In!! - Emergency Live pod
Adrian Griffin has been fired halfway through the season, and has been replaced by Mr 3-1 himself; Doc Rivers. Is this a Posiitve for the milwaukee bucks? Will they lose another 3-1 lead? Should our hosts be optimistic or sad?
All will be revealed!
Also sling us a message at hoopatheticals@gmail.com
NBA Season Halfway Point + Bucks Blowout Celtics
It's the halfway point of the season, and I think it is time to start asking the big questions... like was the Milwaukee Bucks blowing out the Boston Celtics the most underreported news event of the last 1000 years?!
We break down the worst handles in the clutch, the Dame time winner, and a lot more.
Also email thoughts to hoopatheticals@gmail.com
Show Time Stamps:
00:00 discussing Bucks vs Celts Blowout
10:51 - Thanasis Chat: Thanalysis and ‘what is a Thanasterclass?’
14:27 - The Dame Time game and more Bucks chat
27:39 - Thom’s Heat Cheque: Clippers
31:39 - First Team All- “Likely to dribble the ball off their own leg in the clutch”
39:38 - Two Truths and a Lie - Team Edition
46:18 - Worst Fake
52:33 - Agent Cody Bank
15 Games into the '23-'24 Season
Do the Milwaukee Bucks have bad chemistry? Are the Denver Nuggets actually easy to stop? And will Thom love this version of the James Harden Clippers?
All this and more on today's check-in of Hoopatheticals
'23-'24 NBA Season Preview + Reactions to the Dame/Jrue Trade
As 2 Bucks fans, we have waited too long to talk about the Dame-Jrue trade. But also, is this going to be the most exciting year in NBA history? No good draft prospects, new teams and Victor Wembanyama. What teams don't have stakes? Who's coming out of the east?
Find out all on today's episode!
Boomer-theticals! + Are the Warriors the KD Nets 2.0 with CP3?
This episode we say 'Giddey up!' to our Boomers as we take a look at their FIBA campaign. Plus we break down coaches with the worst facial expressions, who's tanking, where Thom is at with various players, and why CP3 going to the Warriors is going to be the KD Nets 2.0.
Hoopatheticals; for a hard earned thirst.
23' Season Recap + Why the Nuggets WON'T Repeat
The Nuggets WON'T repeat!? Jimmy will never win a ring?! An who is the worst player to jack up a 3 with 45 seconds left in a close game?!
In today's episode, Jez and Thom break all that down and more, plus their classic segments, and there is some serious Eric Bledsoe and Thanasis Antetkounmpo chat.
Also apologies for SFX technical difficulties; new computer problems lol
A Nuggets Heat Finals (?!) Preview
2023 Playoffs Check- in
Will Lebron win his 5th ring (or even his 6th)? Can Jimmy Butler bully the Celtics? And what coach in California could be headed up to Milwaukee for the next season?
Tune in for those and loads more, as well as what they thought of the firing of Mike Budenholzer, where could Khris Middleton land and why some players are better after being traded.
BUCKS LOSE TO MIAMI IN THE 1ST ROUND?! - Emergency Pod
WHAT?!? The Bucks couldn't handle the Heat and lose the first round of the playoffs against the 8th seeded Miami Heat. Get two Bucks fans instant reactions to this this historic loss, what it means for the Bucks going forward, who's to blame and where do the Heat stand in the ranking of the Buck's biggest rivals in the NBA.
Hawks Cool on Ice-Trae + The Bucks 15-game Winning Streak
News dropped today that surprisingly Trae Young sucks to play with. Were we shocked? Listen to find out.
We also dive into why this is a new era of dominant big men in the NBA, why load management affects the All-Star ratings, how the Milwaukee Bucks have won this many games in a row and has Russ found his best chance to win a chip?
We also talk about what an Elevator player is and we play Agent Cody Bank with some great NBA role players.
KD to Phoenix, Kyrie & Luka, and Russ and the Lakers
Understanding The Utah Jazz's Hot Start, How Underrated are the Bucks & Pokemon Vs NBA Team Building
How is the Utah Jazz doing this? Are the Milwaukee Buck's still underrated? And how is building a team in the NBA like building a Pokemon roster?
The team breaks it down and more on today's episode
Draymond Tape Leak Conspiracy, Lebron and Curry Buddying up and Ladder Predictions
Did the Warriors leak the Draymond tape? Well, in this episode, we make the case for why that might make more sense than you think.
We also break down the strange way Lebron has been hyping up Steph, the mentality of the Net's big three coming into this season, and what the ladder will look like at the end of the season.
'22-'23 Season Preview
Will the NBA MVP be under 25 this year? Survey says... check out this episode.
Today we talk about our MVP Predictions, Conference champs, biggest playoff meltdowns for the upcoming season. We also talk about what are some hot takes, should you leave in the bench mob that brought your team back into a game, and how would you pitch Semi Ojeleye to get his next bag.
All this and more on this episode.
Bucks-Celts Round 2 Preview
The biggest series of Round 2 is here, and you have 2 Bucks fans breaking it down from their perspective.
0:00 - Thoughts on the Milwaukee Bucks vs Boston Celtics
17:50 - Get That Bag!
20:26 - The other 2nd round series
The Buck's Path to a 2nd NBA Title
Today, Thom and Jez break down all things Milwaukee Bucks in the 2022 playoffs. How will they win? How (if at all possible) could they lose? What did we learn from the regular season?
They then break down who on the current Milwaukee Bucks team should have their jersey retired.
They also jump break down a matchup with the Boston Celtics, the Phoenix Suns and why Jonas Valanciunas' 25 rebounds may be more important than you think.
Hosted by Jez F.M and Thom Nixon
1st Team Underwhelming and Overwhelming of the NBA 2022 Season
What has been the most underwhelming thing about the 2022 season and why is it Russell Westbrook? In today's episode, Jez is joined by Thom to break down the Milwaukee Bucks recent win over the Warriors and their season in general, the 5 most overwhelming things about the season so far and the five most underwhelming things about the season.
As always buy the domain name from me plz!
Michael Jordan vs Kevin Durant: Looking at Archetype #4: Chaotic Artists
If you thought last episode had star power, then get ready to have stars shoot out of your mouth for our episode on Chaotic Artists. When you talk about the greatest scoreres in NBA history, these four letters have to be at the top of the list; MJ & KD.
Others in this archetype include: Luka Doncic, Damian Lillard
Chaotic Artist types are generally almost impossible to stop one-on-one, due to their highly creative mind and propensity to shoot whilst being heavily guarded. These players also tend to work best as being the focal point of a clutch offence, and have the most ways to hurt defenses that play a man-to-man defence. They often need to have a system built to slow them down.
Ja Morant vs Russell Westbrook - Why is Ja so much better?!?
If you have been hearing a lot of talk about Ja Morant and Russell Westbrook, then look no further than this podcast.
Today, I am talking about what makes Ja so much better, and why Russ is struggling. Whether you like the Memphis Grizzlies or the LA Lakers, I think this is a good episode to listen to while you drop a deuce.
Steph Curry vs Larry Bird - Archetype #3: Order Artists
Perhaps the creativity Archetype that has the most storied lineup, Order Artists create chances for themselves and other constantly. With names like Magic Johnson, Lebron James, Steph Curry and Larry Bird in the lineup, it's hard to think this isn't the best archetype.
In this episode, I break down how Steph and Larry exemplify this style of play
Order Artists are a powerful group, and tend to be a great first option. Typically effective with and without the ball, their strength lies in utilising speed, strength and intelligence to get open before they shoot. Being highly creative, they can cause damage when plays are broken down, or by innovating and intuiting an unorthodox shot release or offensive move.
WHY YOU HATE RUDY GOBERT!
Why does Rudy Gobert cop so much hate?
In today's episode, I break it down, and why you might hate other stars.
I also talk about JJ Reddick's conversation with John Collins of the Atlanta Hawks, when they talk about Nikola Jokic's patience. I link it back to last episode where I compared him to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Hosted by: Jez F.M
KD & The Experience Machine
Why is Kevin Durant currently not a Warrior? Why did he never seem fulfilled by the championships in the bay?
It may seem like a complicated question, but weirdly, I think philosophy has the answer. Take a listen to this little nugget of an episode to look at why I think Kevin Durant left the Warriors, and at a broader level, why player empowerment is bound to implode.
This episode features a look at Robert Nozick's "The Experience Machine" for those interested in further readings/Youtube holes to fall down.
Full Transcript:
The clock winds down. The buzzer sounds. You have just won your second NBA finals. You see LeBron and the Cavs, utterly defeated in five games, walk to their locker room, and you see a mass of people fill the floor to set up for the celebrations and trophy ceremony. Your team mates are holding you and jumping around screaming and smiling.
This should be the best moment of your life. But it's not.
Kevin Durant going to the Warriors is the perfect example of Robert Nozick's concept of the 'experience machine'. The idea of the experience machine is that you are told that you can have whatever life you want, you just have to experience it in a machine. Once you are in there, you won't know that you are in the machine. And everything will feel like it would in real life, only all the things that make life painful won't be in there.
The concept, which takes it root in trying to disprove hedonism as a viable approach to living one's life, is a powerful argument against a life of only pleasure. Nozick ultimately concludes that given the decision, no one would enter the experience machine, because living a life in a pod (no matter what you achieve therein) is far less satisfying than winning against the chaos of the real world.
I guess Nozick didn't expect Kevin Durant to come along.
The experience that KD had was a very clear cut version of this in real life. By leaving a team that was almost guaranteed to win the championship each year, he proved Nozick right; that simply having the experience isn't the same as earning the experience.
It would have been the same thing if MJ had of just joined the Monstars instead of beating them in Space Jam.
You see, not only did the Warriors win 2 championship rings with KD in tow, but they never really experienced hardship. They cruised through most rounds of the playoffs, and so really got to look at life inside the experience machine.
However, in contrast to KD being in the experience machine, there were 3 players on the team that were not in the experience machine. Draymond, Klay and Steph. They took the alternative route. They, by KD's side the entire time, were living the Experience machine life, but they didn't have to enter the machine. They had lived through losing, trials and tribulations as a group, and so earning their championships wasn't the experience machine. They really did it.
It's like hanging out with influencers that are famous for being themselves, and you bought all your followers. Sure, you might have the same amount of "followers" online, but something feels empty about you and not them.
So, in the end, why would KD leave?
Because you are there, holding the finals MVP trophy, big lights in your face. You look over and see Steph, Draymond and Klay holding each other and smiling. There is a joy and a deep brotherhood there. They are experiencing what you are supposed to be feeling. It's time to get out of the machine.
Why you like Steph and MJ more than Lillard and Lebron
Why, in your heart, do you like Stephen Curry more than Damian Lillard? Why do you like Michael Jordan more than Lebron James, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Bill Russell? Why does Giannis have 2 MVPs and James Harden only 1, when he can only score by dunking?
In this short monologue, Jez explains one of the most overlooked parts of basketball, and how to tell if your favourite player is in it.
Nikola Jokic vs Kareem Abdul-Jabbar - Looking at Archetype #2: Chaotic Factories
Chaotic Factory scorers are few and far between. They are players that don’t have a deep “bag” when it comes to scoring, but can score quite easily using a few reliable moves. They tend to score while being heavily guarded, and may utilise other skills like passing to create a difficult assignment for other teams to deal with.
In today's episode, we look at the low creativity, highly technical beast that is the Chaotic Factory, and we look at what makes these 2 players similar in scoring style.
Next week, I'll be comparing two Order Artists: Steph Curry and Larry Bird
Trae Young & Tim Duncan - A look at Archetype #1: Order Factories
When you think of 2 players that play in a similar way, I bet Tim Duncan and Trae Young aren’t your first thoughts.
However, according to my Creativity in Basketball statistics, they actually play a similar role. Both can be hubs for the ball on offence, both have a couple of moves that are very hard to stop, and both like to get open to shoot, and not try too many new moves on the court.
They both can function well on volume shooting, but both prefer to use their guile to get open, get to one of their patented moves, and get the basket.
The Order Factory is on the low end of the Creativity and Technical Stats and is the first in our Creativity Archetypes series.
Other players in this Archetype: Russell Westbrook and James Harden
Hosted by Jez F.M
The 4 Playing Archetypes of NBA Stars
In this podcast I break down my new way to categorise the way players play using their creative and propensity to get open to create "style quadrants". You may be surprised to see how KD, Dame, Harden and luka all fit into it, and which ones of them share a style!
Measuring Creativity in the NBA - The New Frontier of Stats
Who is more creative; Lebron or Steph?
In this episode, I talk about how I have created a system of measuring creativity as a statistic, and then applied that framework to some NBA players to see how they stack up.
What will be revealed? Will this allow us to see the difference between players we just feel a gut reaction about?
The players I have looked at are:
Lebron James
Steph Curry
James Harden
Giannis Antetekounmpo
Russell Westbrook
Nikola Jokic
Kevin Durant
Enjoy!
EMERGENCY: Jrue Holiday and Bogdan Bogdanovich to the Milwaukee Bucks
Goodbye Bledsoe, Hello Championship?
In this emergency episode of Hoopatheticals, Thom and Jez break down the Jrue Holiday and Bogdan Bogdanovich trades like only Bucks fans could. Was it too expensive for the players? Are they a real threat to win? Do they have the best starting five in the nba?
They also cover CP3 to the Phoenix Suns and Harden to the rockets, as well as the new segment "bad player agent" where you have to sell a team on a bad player.
As always, the name is up for sale, so please contact @jezf.m with your 6 digit offer (USD only)
Top 5 Most Underrated/Overrated, Biggest Bubble "Over Achievers" & The Blueprint to a Milwaukee Bucks Championship 2021 (w/ Thom Nixon)
Who is more overrated; Lebron James or Kyrie Irving? Will Jamal Murray be drafted number 1 as the biggest bubble over-achiever? Should the Bucks trade for CP3?
These are just some of the Hoopathetical conversations we have on today's return episode. Join your host Jez F.M and Thom Nixon as they break down the most overrated and underrated players, they draft the biggest bubble "over achievers" and break down all the bucks rumours, as well as what they need to work on for next season. Because, obviously, they are the best voices to solve these issues.
As always, Hoopatheticals is available for sale as an IP. Please submit all offers (>6 figures) to @jezf.m
Never-Won-A-Ring NBA Draft (w/ Thom Nixon, Ryan Tennison & Will Paseckniks)
Want to know who would be drafted first in a draft of the biggest losers of the NBA? Maybe you've just watched "The Last Dance" and wondered if you would rather have Charles Barkley, Reggie Miller, or Patrick Ewing?
In this episode, Jez is joined by all of the previous guests in a mega episode dedicated to the best of the worst. Who can make the best overall team? Which losers are the biggest winners? And how many current players make the list?
We have awards for best team, worst team, best pick, worst pick and weirdest pick.
As always, the oven is set to roast, the name is still up for grabs, and the audio is actually fine. Send me your offers!
Show Notes:
2:28 - The "Best of the Losers" Draft
36:36 - The Awards
41:37 - Who is the most "Know the name, don't know the face" guy in the NBA?
2021 Expansion Draft: Seattle Supersonics Vs Vancouver not-Grizzlies (with Will Paseckniks)
In this 3rd episode of Hoopathaticals, your host Jez F.M drafts against newcomer Will Pasznyk to see who could draft a better expansion team. PLus they set the oven to roast (both former guests and NBA franchises), Davis Bertans and Seth Curry get their 3rd mention in 3 episodes, and we also look at what would happen if the NBA put in a height restriction of 6'7? Here is the expansion pack of Hoopatheticals. Bring back the Bobcats!
Sorry about the audio. If you have a complaint, please write it in an email and then question your life. It's free content.
As always, this name is up and available, so send me a cheque, and this name could be yours.
Show Notes:
5:37 - Drafting for the expansion teams of Seattle and Vancouver for 2021 using only bench players
35:02 - The NBA has set a height limit of 6'7. Draft your best starting 5.
43:54 - The NBA franchise you would least like to draft you
What if Shaq never left the Orlando Magic (w/ Ryan Tennison)
In this second episode of Hoopathaticals, your host Jez F.M covers what would happen if Shaquille O'Neal never left the Orlando Magic. COuld he and Dwight Howard play together, and do they win the 2010 Finals? Along with Ryan Tennison, they also break down the worst NBA player you could improve slightly to make them the frontrunner for MVP in 2021, the worst NBA player to be forced to hang out with, and the headlines we might see from Michael Jordan's "The Last Dance"
As always, this name is up and available, so send me a cheque, and this name could be yours.
Show Notes:
2:34 - Scoopatheticals: Potential headlines we might and might not see out of “The Last Dance”
4:44 - Hoopathetical Challenge: What is the worst NBA player you can improve by 20% and make them an MVP?
15:21 - Main Hoopathatical: What if Shaq never left the Orlando Magic?
42:40 - Worst NBA player to hang out with
What Headlines can we Expect From the Michael Jordan Documentary? (w/ Ryan Tennison) - Mini-Cast
This is a special Mini-cast in order to highlight the best part of the COVID lockdown; the fact that The Last Dance was brought up to April. Ryan and I try and to break down the headlines we predict will come out of the documentary, and ones that we think won't.
This is a preview of an upcoming episode coming later this week.
What If Every NBA Team Lost Their Best Player? (w/ Thom Nixon)
In this inaugural episode of Hoopathaticals, your host Jez F.M covers what would happen if every team lost their best player. With Thom Nixon, they look at what every team looks like now, who would win the finals, and who would win the major awards. They also reveal the lows they have gone to in order to get their NBA fix during the COVID-19 crisis.
As always, this name is up and available, so send me a cheque, and this name could be yours.
Show Notes:
- Going through every team's new look (8:29)
- Teams with the biggest gap and smallest gap (50:39)
- The major award winners, and best team (55:42)