Humanize Me
By Bart Campolo
Humanize MeMar 23, 2023
904: Cosmogenesis, with Brian Swimme
Brian Swimme is an evolutionary cosmologist whose latest book, Cosmogenesis, is autobiographical, but is also an attempt to tell the story of the universe as science knows it, placing human beings inside the story. Brian believes that, properly told, the story is awe-inspiring, beautiful and unifying, and potentially a foundation for a better world. In this episode, Bart tries to understand Brian's work, and how he seeks to 'turn others on' to what inspires him about our universe.
903: Getting to know a listener from scratch
In the last of three episodes on 'high disclosure relationships', Bart gets to know someone in depth from scratch - a Humanize Me listener called Patti, who turns out to be as wonderful as we could have hoped - and in the process, provides an example of such conversations to inspire you to do the same.
902: A tool for connecting with someone
Bart shares a tool he's used often to connect with people in the manner discussed in episode 901 with Rich Slatcher.
901: The power of self-disclosure in relationships, with Rich Slatcher
Rich Slatcher is a psychologist who is the current Gail M. Williamson Distinguished Professor in the Behavior and Brain Sciences area of the Department of Psychology at the University of Georgia. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, he talks about the power of self-disclosure in relationships, and the other factors which draw people closer to each other.
820: Doing the next right thing - a list
There’s doom and gloom in the ether, and many people aren't feeling too great about the world. What to do?
Bart thinks the best move is to swing to the stoics, with a sense of separating what we can control versus what we can’t. Simply 'doing the next right thing'. Some things we can control: our next moves, our vote, our transactions, the ways we communicate, the protections we give our children, and what we pay attention to.
To the point of what we pay attention to, Bart has a list of recommendations for some content on the theme of doing the next right thing, along the lines of some of the lists often shared in the media around this time of year. These are the podcasts, TV shows, movies and songs mentioned in this episode:
- Invisibilia: 'An Unlikely Superpower'
- Radiolab: 'From tree to shining tree'
- The Last of Us: 'Long, Long Time'
- This is Actually Happening: 'What if you witnessed a thousand deaths?'
- The Bear: 'Forks'
- Reservation Dogs: 'Frankfurter Sandwich'
- Kristen Bell: 'The Next Right Thing'
We'll have one more episode this year for patrons of the show at Patreon.com/HumanizeMe. And with that, from us, a happy new year! See you in 2024.
819: _______giving!
818: 'My truth' v 'The truth'
A 'Q&R' episode where a listener question about truth leads to morality via Dan Dennett.
817: We of Little Faith, with Kate Cohen
Kate Cohen is a contributing columnist at The Washington Post whose new book, We of Little Faith: Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe (And Maybe You Should Too), is of obvious interest to us at Humanize Me. Kate's book can be found on Amazon and wherever else books are sold.
816: A conversation across the faith divide, with Philip Yancey
Bart talks with prominent evangelical Christian author Philip Yancey, whose books have been instrumental in supporting the faith of many Christians and whose recent memoir, Where the Light Fell, led to this conversation. In it, the two talk about their upbringings, their faith journey and Bart's deconstruction of faith, their values and more.
815: Revisiting anti-natalism... should people have children?
Is it right, or not, to have biological children? The last time Bart addressed this issue in the podcast (Episode 514), it generated lots of passionate replies, including one listener in particular whose angry email we read aloud in this episode. Since we didn't feel we did the subject justice last time, or the people for whom it's an important question, we're revisiting it, having received some newer emails seeking clarification on whether Bart thinks humanists should be having biological children. (Content warning: there are a few swears within this episode.)
814: The Practice of Belonging, with Lisa Kentgen
Back from a summer vacation and into a wide-ranging conversation with Lisa Kentgen, a psychologist who's written a book called The Practice of Belonging: Six Lessons from Vibrant Communities to Combat Loneliness, Foster Diversity, and Cultivate Caring Relationships.
813: Criminal justice reform, with Robert Rooks
Robert Rooks is the CEO of REFORM Alliance, a criminal justice organization focused on transforming probation and parole systems. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, he talks about seeing the hardships in his community growing up, and how he became inspired to start to work on systemic change. In the process, Robert lays out some solid, practical things that listeners can do to help.
812: Worship the creator, not the created?
A listener asks: "Hi Bart, I just want to encourage you by communicating how much your podcast has helped me and is sustaining me in my deconversion journey. In your conversation earlier this month with Ursula Goodenough, you talked about a reverence and awe for the natural world, and I couldn’t help but think of a bible verse admonishing Christians to worship the Creator, rather than the created. I could see my Christian friends using that verse to tell we humanists that we’re guilty of worshipping the wrong thing. What do you think of this and how would you respond?"
811: Religious naturalism, with Ursula Goodenough
They say you should never meet your heroes, but this conversation with Ursula Goodenough proves definitively that it isn't always true! Bart first read Ursula's book, The Sacred Depths of Nature, almost immediately after deconverting from Christianity many years ago. It was a massive influence on his thinking, providing a scientific basis for a rational devotion to life, and forming the narrative around which he based his version of secular humanism. A new edition of the book has just been released, so it's a perfect time for a conversation with its author! Ursula is a Professor of Biology Emerita at Washington University in St. Louis who was recently elected to the National Academy of Sciences.
Links to Ursula's work:
810: The implications of AI for humanists
It was only a matter of time before we got drawn into the burgeoning conversation about recent advances in artificial intelligence. A listener called Steve asks: "What do you think are the implications of AI for those of us devoted to the human experience?" Although he doesn't have a clear answer, and admits a catastrophist's bias, Bart shares some initial thoughts in response and argues that, even if the rise of AI is a very bad thing for the world, it can nevertheless reaffirm our existing humanist values and amplify the reasons to create supportive communities.
Featuring a 'cold open' by an artificial Bart-like interloper. Were you fooled?
809: Morality for the rest of us, with Todd May
You’re probably never going to be a saint. Even so, let’s face it: you could be a better person. We all could. Todd May is a philosopher whose work brings high-minded philosophical concepts - like how to live a decent life - down to earth in attainable, realistic ways. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, Todd talks about aspiring to be decent, moral gracefulness, reasons for morality, intentions, honesty and truthfulness, happiness versus flourishing, altruism, the concept of evil, 'normal' selfishness, stoicism and Todd's work on The Good Place.
808: Consciousness and liberal Christian friends
Two questions are posed to Bart, the first of which he declines to answer! Iain McGilchrist is one of several prominent thinkers who seem to suggest that consciousness is a fundamental of the universe, and that reality may not be entirely physical in nature. What does Bart think of these ideas? The second involves a listener whose liberal Christian friend can't understand her atheism. How can she articulate her disinterest to her friend?
807: Strange Customs, with Sasha Sagan
Sasha Sagan is an author and now a podcaster who is intensely curious about the rituals, traditions, norms and practices which help define communities of people. When we had her on the podcast in 2020, it was because Sasha had released a book on the subject, For Small Creatures Such As We. The recent launch of her podcast, Strange Customs, inspired us to reach back out and ask her how rituals might find their place in today's world.
806: How surprised would you be by an afterlife?
After Bart's deconversion from Christianity, he has been a 'naturalist', lacking belief in any of the proposed deities and supernatural ideas. But how satisfied is he that he's right about this? How surprised would he be to suddenly emerge into an afterlife of some kind? Bart and producer John discuss.
805: How God becomes real, with TM Luhrmann
We've recently been wondering about the movement in Kentucky that has become known as the 'Asbury revival', and the mass religious experiences that have been reported there in the last couple of months. We could think of nobody better to help us think about it than TM Luhrmann, a highly esteemed psychological anthropologist currently based at Stanford University. Tanya is known partly for her study of religious groups, including evangelical and charismatic Christians. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, she talks about the 'inner sense' of believers that their beliefs are true, how religions allow these experiences to form the heart of their narratives, religious shame, authority, imagination and self-reinforcement, and more.
804: How to think about Effective Altruism
“Hey Bart, I came across an article on Vox talking about the movement known as Effective Altruism, and the fall of one of its star advocates, cryptocurrency exchange owner Sam Bankman-Fried. The guy had lost at least a billion dollars of his clients’ money after he secretly transferred it to a hedge fund he owned, he’s now been arrested for it. But what’s confusing is that his stated goal in life was to do good: he said wanted to make a lot of money in finance so he could give most of it away to good causes, specifically causes identified using Effective Altruism. Paraphrasing from the Vox article: 'Effective altruism is a social movement that’s all about using reason and evidence to do the most good for the most people. … Yet it looks like Bankman-Fried has done a lot of BAD to a lot of people.' On top of this, Bart, I know there have been other criticisms of Effective Altruism, and I was just wondering if you have any thoughts on whether a good humanist - and maybe especially a Humanize Me listener - should be involved in Effective Altruism or whether it’s a dubious proposition these days. Thanks!”
803: How the Bible shapes society, with Bart Ehrman
We're joined by leading bible scholar Bart Ehrman, who has written many New York Times best-selling books on the Bible and related topics. This conversation is, in Ehrman's own summation, a blend of the intellect and the heart, touching on many things including belief and disbelief, the way people misinterpret Scripture, the message of Jesus compared to that of Paul or the book of Revelation, how to relate to people who throw bible verses around, and many other things. Stay tuned at the end for a piece of the conversation that almost ended up on the cutting room floor.
802: Bart is sick, but here's a hopeful thought
In lieu of a full episode this time, here's a short, hopeful thought from a sick-sounding Bart Campolo.
801: The ingredients of a good media diet, with Vanessa Otero
Awash in a sea of information and misinformation, most of us don't know how to navigate today's media landscape, especially when it comes to news. How do we know what sources we can trust? And as we enter a new year, if we approached it like a diet, what are the best and healthiest ingredients and recipes?
Our guest Vanessa Otero has thought about this more than most people. A former lawyer, she invented the Ad Fontes Media Chart, which places just about every news outlet you know (and many you don't) on an axis of political bias and reliability. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, she talks about the problems people face when trying to get reliable news and gives optimistic, practical advice on how to solve them. In the process she recommends the 1440 newsletter and other resources.
720: I wasn't with my grandfather at the end
Bart and John respond to a question from a listener who, despite knowing her grandfather was going to die, missed his final moments and feels deep regret about it. Bart suggests she look at it as a gift from her grandfather which could serve her well for a lifetime: and a valuable reminder to all of us about the virtue of being present.
719: The re-conversion of The Voice winner Josh Kaufman
Josh Kaufman won NBC’s The Voice in 2014 after wowing the talent show’s judges and audience with his soulful vocals and charisma. After getting an email from him recently, Bart invited Josh on the podcast to ask about his story of deconversion from Christianity in college and subsequent re-conversion in recent years, and wonders what it’s like to step back into a worldview he had rejected.
718: How do I deal with difficult holiday conversations?
Bart answers a question from a listener who is nervous going into a fraught holiday gathering. In the process we talk about some tools that may be prepared for use beforehand.
406: Pro-semitism, with the hosts of Unorthodox
After a recent rise in talk of antisemitism, we couldn't help but think about this classic episode of Humanize Me featuring the hosts of the Unorthodox podcast, Mark Oppenheimer, Stephanie Butnick and Liel Leibovitz. They're some of our favorite people, and it's a fun conversation about Jewishness in America, Jewish culture, and how to be a good gentile. Featuring a new intro by Bart.
717: My Big Fat Recovery, with Molly Robbins
Our bodies are tied up with so much - beauty standards, phobias, obsessions and stigmas - and we think there are more and less humanizing ways to talk and think about them. Molly Robbins was the perfect guest to help us; she's the host of the My Big Fat Recovery podcast, and has lots of helpful things to say about the experience of having a big body in a diet-obsessed culture. Bart asks Molly about the principles of 'intuitive eating' and other topics.
716: My bad habits while alone make me feel bad about myself!
Bart answers a question from a listener whose habits while living alone make her feel bad about herself. Bart thinks he may have some solid humanist advice as a first step.
715: A listener's abortion story
Cian is a listener of Humanize Me. He and his wife Krista got in touch to talk about the very tangible and personal way the U.S. Supreme Court’s strike-down of Roe v Wade hit them after they ended a pregnancy due to fetal abnormality. Bart decided to invite them to tell their story on the podcast and in the process, Krista and Cian relate in a warm, compelling way the complex reality of the issue in a real couple's lives.
714: Five questions and a tree
What’s wrong with Rotary? Does religion comfort people in hard times? Is it wrong to want my wife to stop pleasuring herself? How do you find a good media diet? Should I support my friend as she explores religion? Bart and John take not 1 but 5 listener questions, and share thoughts on each.
713: Childish Things, with Dave Warnock
Bart welcomes back Dave Warnock, who had a memorable first appearance in 2019 (Episode 419). They talk about his recently released memoir, his deconversion from Christianity and later diagnosis of ALS, relationships with family after deconverting, navigating the end of life, and avoiding the word 'just'.
712: Thoughtful meandering with William Deresiewicz
Bart enjoys a wide-ranging conversation with Bill Deresiewicz that touches on solitude, moral goodness, the value of the arts, the interplay of power, rituals and practices, fundamentalisms and friendship. Bill is a world-class literary critic and a former professor of English at Yale University whose latest book of essays - The End of Solitude - is available now.
711: How to create meaning this weekend
Fine, a listener says, you've sold me on the concept that life can be meaningful even if there isn't a grand design involved. But how do we actually do it? Bart and John discuss.
710: What can play teach us about our fellow humans?
Game designer Logan Dean talks with Bart about the nature of play, storytelling, community, competitiveness and how playing games can help us understand others.
421: 'Leaving the Witness', with Amber Scorah
A classic episode! Amber Scorah was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. She tells the story of her 'deconversion' in her book, 'Leaving the Witness: Exiting a Religion and Finding a Life'. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, Amber talks about what it was like to believe fully, what it's like to disbelieve now, how her relationships were affected, the death of her young son Karl on his first day in childcare, her views on life now, and much more.
709: Should I marry my Christian girlfriend?
Bart and John respond to a question from a listener who worries that, having started a journey out of his faith, he is now becoming incompatible with his Christian girlfriend. Bart thinks their difference in worldview is a reason for lots of caution and reflection, while John wishes romance could rule the day. Along the way, they land on some ancient advice: ‘Know thyself!’
708: Disentangling from purity culture
The evangelical culture of sexual purity has left many who grew up in it hurt and sometimes even traumatized. In this episode, Bart and our guest, counselor Jenny McGrath, discuss purity culture, dynamics between evangelical men and women, power structures of race and gender, sex before marriage, the mechanics of desire, and much more.
You can discover more about Jenny here: indwellmovement.com
707: How can I judge someone's character?
John and Bart are back in the studio together on this week’s episode to discuss the nature of character and how to evaluate the character of others.
706: Bart gets his tarot read by a witch
Bart and chaos witch Vanessa Walilko discuss her playful approach to belief, and to helping others through witchcraft. Bart, a witchcraft sceptic, even gets his tarot read! Find out more about Vanessa and her work at https://linktr.ee/kalibutterfly
705: A listener who has less tolerance for social interaction now
Bart responds to a question from a listener who says they have less tolerance for social interaction since society 'opened back up' after the pandemic lockdowns.
704: On open relationships
Bart muses an experience he's heard recently: a former Christian who, in the process of re-evaluating their lives, begins to consider opening their relationship. Is it a good idea? Bart has seen it work, but has lots of words of caution.
703: Should I let news about the war stress me out?
After a podcast hiatus, Bart and John attempt to answer a question from a listener about being stressed out about the war in Ukraine. They don't want to just avoid the news, because that doesn't feel healthy, but are seeking a good balance of being informed and enjoying their life.
702: Reflecting on the state of the evangelical movement
Bart reflects on the state of the evangelical movement he was once a part of, particularly by taking a moment to see it through his father Tony's lens. Mentioned in the episode: Leaving My Father's Faith, the documentary by John Wright, now available to watch in its entirety on YouTube.
701: Talking to Crazy, with Dr. Mark Goulston
How should we deal with irrational or difficult people? And what are some good strategies for establishing healthy boundaries with such people in our lives? As a very pro-social podcast, we realized this may be our weakness after we talked to Chrissy Stroop in Episode 618. Chrissy, a trans woman, told us she did not feel it her responsibility to keep toxic or unsupportive people in her life, and Bart pushed back because he feels building bridges across such divides is so important. Where should the healthy limits of our empathy, tolerance and relationship-building be set?
620: Some people are hard to feel empathy for
Let's be honest: some people just don't inspire our empathy! In this last episode of 2021, Bart responds to a post on the Humanize Me Facebook Group, in which a woman feels unempathetic about consequences suffered by her sister due to the sister's own bad decisions. She feels like a bad person, she says, but should she? And how should we feel about our own lack of empathy in such situations?
619: We're creating meaning as we speak!
Bart with a solo episode on how we create meaning in our lives, and get access to meaning as we live in connection to the universe.
618: Should we form friendships with people who don't share our values? with Chrissy Stroop
Chrissy Stroop is a writer and scholar who, despite being an 'exvangelical', remains interested in, and critical of, evangelical culture. When she recently mentioned Bart Campolo in an article, we reached out to ask her if she wanted to have a conversation about how evangelicals think and talk about those who leave the faith. But the conversation took a different turn, becoming a friendly disagreement over whether or not we should try to form friendships with people who don't share our core values, or when there's a big ideological divide. Chrissy, a trans woman, thinks not, because she doesn't believe that friendships should involve attempts to change other people, while Bart thinks influencing others is a key part of relationships.
617: Re-evaluating time in Christian urban ministry
Bart responds to a question from a listener who wants to know why he doesn't talk more about his time as a Christian minister in poor urban neighborhoods, and what his experiences make him think about the possibility of future change.