In My Opinionation

This week, the gang shares an update!

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This week, the gang waits…and waits…and waits. The girls participate in the ancient practice of sitting in a box office line for the ancient musical group that makes us go “hmmmm”. We recount our own camping out adventures, play the Name Game, and lose our damn minds over a cute baby.

“Crime Show” podcast:  https://gimletmedia.com/shows/crime-show

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This week, the gang sleeps over! Director Daddy Ted Wass is finally here, as a new Bad Girl shakes up Blossom’s slumber party. We try to wrap our brains around the increasingly insane Blossom multiverse AND the space vortex that is the Russo house, all while planning our very own Silence of the Lambs slumber party.

This week, the gang is on candid camera! The kids are putting together a home video for their mom and it’s a chaotic good time. We discuss the dreaded mid-life crisis (exercising is hard, guys), give you the glorious history of Davy Crockett, and reminisce about the golden age of garage sales.

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This week, the gang loses! Blossom has a fear of public speaking and somehow, a bunch of podcasters relate on a very deep level. We bask in the glory of Nick’s hot dance moves as we recount our own public speaking fails and show off our best whale noises.

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This week, the gang gets bullied! Blossom gets in some flirty finances before being targeted by a very dramatic tough girl. We talk about the need for adulting classes, compare our harrowing dental stories, and we show off our impeccable Bronx accents. Also, Jenn is a pegasus.

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This week, the gang has an inappropriate crush! Blossom falls hard for her cool-guy substitute teacher, and it’s a whole lotta yikes. We’re in like a dirty shirt as we teach you how to fake illness, debate whether men or women have it worse (pssst, it’s women), and we dish about the hot teachers of our pasts. Also, poetry is hard.

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This week, the gang gets test anxiety! The PSATs are here and the kids are ready for academic success (or failure?). We discuss the Blossom multiverse, learn why you never go against the plan, and have a group therapy session about our need to perfect.

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This week, the gang gets festive! The Russos are trying to keep the holiday spirit alive, but it looks like it might be a Very Unmerry Christmas. We show you how to get out of a driving ticket, we dive into the dense, brick-like history of fruitcake, and teach you how to answer questions in Canadian. Also, maybe Santa is real??

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This week, the gang gets nostalgic! Nick is planning to sell the house and honestly, it would be much easier if all of these damn flashback kids would get out of the way. The gang comes to you, all in one room, to discuss the confusing world of mortgages, the hotness of tall people, and we sing heartwarming songs about bigamy.

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This week, the gang plays matchmaker! And instantly regrets it! We tell you what a krelbow is, and how you, too, can cook and drink coffee the sexy way. And the unthinkable happens: Buzz is...not terrible?

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This week, the gang daydreams! Guess who’s coming to dinner? It’s Nick’s lady friend, and the kids have thoughts. We discuss the geography of Bimboland, appreciate some choice accents, and vibe on the Rocker Russos.

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This week, the gang gets famous! Blossom’s fever-dream pop star persona is the absolute worst and we are living for it. Our special parental guest talks us through screening your kids’ media, we learn how we could get arrested in Toronto, and we gush over some truly legendary cameo appearances.

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This week, the gang works on their communication skills! Six avoids her feelings, and Joey gives us some classic cross-cultural rom-com hijinks. We reminisce about the Sears Wish Book, observe the existential crisis of a Real Artist, and meet the important new character, Blowy.

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This week, the gang has a problem! Joey’s friend has become a hard partying bro, while elsewhere Blossom & Nick play hooky. We learn the blueprint for the ‘perfect day’, the ethics of flirting at work, and we tell you how much Jello you need to fill a swimming pool.

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This week, the gang is in a love triangle! Blossom and Six are in love with the same boy and oops, he only likes one of them. We discuss love at first sight, figure out our fashion seasons, and learn how to get the most out of your many geriatric girlfriends.

This week, the gang has a gossip party! A rumour is going around about Blossom and it’s a doozy. We learn about the perils of intelligence, why gossiping isn’t as bad as you think, and why you never want to be a Nice Guy.

This week, this gang gets into unsupervised shenanigans! Blossom and Six are off on a band trip and all the rules are out the window. We learn about the lurid world of male earrings, how many bubbles are too many bubbles, and we’re blessed with the freshest royal visit ever.

This week, the gang gets high! Not really, but we definitely talk about drugs. There’s a mystery joint in the Russo house and Detective Nick is on the case! We see our brains on drugs (and yes, we have questions), shout out the acting skills of the Ninja Turtles, and find out how we, too, can become Big Swinging Dicks.

This week, the gang gets offended! There’s a new character on the roster and we’re already over it. We learn how to make designer jeans in America, discuss wig physics, and remember why it’s an awful idea to share sex stories with your family.

Season 2, Episode 1 - Second Base

This week, the gang gets to second base…? Justin Whalen invades the Blossom-verse again to inspire our girl to make Big Life Decisions. We learn how to survive in an earthquake, debate the bases, and Erik treats us to a dramatic reading from his journal.

This week, the gang gets heartbroken! A fully grown man breaks up with Blossom and we’re supposed to be okay with this ever being a thing. We learn the perils of the chequing account, how best to soil your oats and how women be crazy (or do they??).

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This week, the gang dodges a bullet! Nick’s sexy choices come back to haunt him, and the Russos forget to practice their breathing techniques. We discuss the ethics of an oopsie, how to be a totally effective spy, and the equality of cartoon clothing.

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This week, the gang and their mystery guest host go back in time! Blossom and Six reminisce about that one time Blossom was in private school...remember that time? We don’t either. We learn about the disciplinary practices of the upper crust, the intricacies of the dewey decimal system, and the most baller way to eat cold pizza.

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This week, the gang grows emotionally! It’s a good old fashioned bottle episode, so get ready for some quality character development. We learn how to pay our old-timey bills, navigate the anticipation and fear of being “old” (spoiler: we’re old) and we see the value of a polaroid in your pocket.

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This week, the gang drops the hammer! Nick tells Anthony that he needs to get a job or move out, and it goes about as well as expected. We experience the high-stakes world of songwriting and remember the glory days of 90’s job-hunting, while we scrutinize these pod people pretending to be the Russos.

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This week, the gang gets conflicted! Blossom is tricked into saying yes to a date with the school “geek” and there are SO many things to unpack. We learn why consent is key, the perks of a sushi bar in your glovebox, and we meet another special guest! In dream form!

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This week, the gang gets nostalgic! Blossom tries to recreate the perfect family vacation and baby, it’s cold outside. Today we discuss the logistics of money planes, why you should never take shortcuts, and we get deep into our feels.

This week, the gang gets territorial! Six makes a new friend, so obviously Blossom can never talk to her again. Today we learn how to write about women, we assign our Golden Girls, and reveal some very important information about our fave, Zane Buzby.

This week, the gang goes to a make-out party! Blossom and Six’s double date quickly escalates when they head over to Bad Girl Sheila Osterman’s shindig. We figure out the perfect time for microwave popcorn and why you don’t want to cross Donahue. But do we ever figure out what happens in The Room??

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This week, the gang gets irresponsible! The Russo kids are left alone for a week and shenanigans, we’re shocked to learn, ensue. We learn the legalities of love-children vs. property ownership, how not to borrow a car, and why we should never trust Smokey Robinson.

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This week, the gang gets jealous! Nick Russo is dating a woman, and how very dare she? We learn surefire methods to getting a motorcycle, discuss why high school boys are the worst, and say goodbye to the smartest character on the show.

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This week, the gang falls in love! Blossom snags the hottest boy in school, and the Russo boys are not here for it. We get a glimpse into Jenn’s sassy future, learn how to effectively “Dawson Creek” our crushes, and realize the mess that is network air dates. Also, what is a hand-holding stage?

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This week, the gang hits puberty! Blossom gets her period and boy, do we get a health lesson. In the official pilot, we meet the real Daddy Russo,  find out the benefits of tampons, and learn about our changing bodies from Blossom’s first very special guest star.

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This week, the gang starts at the very beginning, with the lost Blossom pilot! Learn the origins of Blossom, our relationships to the show and other very important tidbits such as who are these imposter parents? Can rehab be funny? What is hooker macaroni?

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