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Indirect Message

Indirect Message

By Laci Green
Laci Green explores unconventional perspectives on sexuality, internet culture, and free thought.
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Currently playing episode

Unpacking "Sex Addiction"

Indirect Message

The Hard Questions to Ask Before You Get Married
America's 50% divorce rate is a jarring reality check. In this episode, Laci shares her evolving thoughts about getting married. She discusses why we tend to ask the wrong questions before tying the knot, the 4 communication habits that destroy relationships, and a shockingly simple way we can cut the divorce rate in half.
December 23, 2021
Is TikTok Manipulating Us?
Seemingly overnight, TikTok became one of the most addictive social media apps on the planet. It is also the first giant created in the authoritarian state of China. Laci discusses how TikTok managed to capture the world's attention, their controversial history of censorship, and whether the app could be used as a weapon of mass manipulation. Guest: Chris Stokel-Walker, author of TikTok Boom Content Warning: brief mentions of slavery, ableism, and the Uyghur genocide
December 02, 2021
Hooking Up with Dr. Drew
Dr. Drew dished out sex advice on the radio for over 30 years. He and his daughter Paulina join me for a fireside chat. We discuss their father/daughter relationship and the impact of Drew's fame, sex ed in '80s, how hook up culture developed, gender differences in desire, why college students binge drink, rejection and emotional development, rehabilitating abusers, and more. Content Warning: brief mention of eating disorders, extensive discussion about perpetrators and rehabilitation.
October 21, 2021
The Female Dating Strategy
Is dating the next feminist frontier? The ladies who started Reddit's Female Dating Strategy certainly think so. Laci is joined by the strategy's creators to explore what it means to unapologetically center women's needs in dating. They discuss their critiques of sex positive & liberal feminism, the "manosphere" and online backlash, the problem with 50/50 dating, "forever girlfriends", how they vet men for relationship success, and more. For audio that doesn't pan, listen to this episode on YouTube. Content Warning: brief mentions of non-consensual choking and violent porn, generalizations about men
September 23, 2021
The Quiet Poison of Virtue Signaling
Moralizing, outrage, and condemnation are all over social media. While it may be well-intentioned, there is quite often a dark side to this behavior. Laci is joined by philosopher Dr. Brandon Warmke to explore the use and abuse of moral talk on social media. They discuss the five ways we virtue signal and why it is so widespread, the threat it poses to activist causes, and what those of us who crave better moral discourse can do about it.
August 24, 2021
Is It Time to Redefine “Body Positive”?
Despite the body positive movement's enormous virality online, girls and women are just as fixated on their bodies as they ever have been. Is there a better approach? Activists, researchers, and identical twins Drs. Lexie & Lindsay Kite join Laci to share their perspective. They discuss why the body positive movement has struggled to achieve its radical goals, self-objectification and a critique of the selfie, the effects of body shame on motivational states, diet talk, and integrating body positivity with a healthy lifestyle. Content Warning: brief mention of eating and exercise disorders.
July 30, 2021
Should Western Feminists Support Islam?
Liberal feminism and Islam have become unlikely bedfellows; the hijab is largely celebrated, while critical discussion is hampered by accusations of bigotry. Activist Yasmine Mohammed, an ex-Muslim child abuse survivor who was forced to marry an Al Qaeda operative, questions the narrative. She joins Laci to discuss her life experiences, why the liberal conversation about Islam is so fraught, Islam (the doctrine) vs. Muslims (the people), double standards and racism, violence prevention in multicultural societies, and feminist approaches to the hijab. Content Warning: discussions of sensitive cultural issues, child abuse, homophobia, descriptions of FGM, sexual violence, and suicide.
July 13, 2021
Unpacking "Sex Addiction"
Is it possible to become addicted to sex? How much sex is too much, exactly? Laci is joined by Dr. David Ley to untangle the sticky web of sex addiction. Ley makes the case against the concept of sex addiction, arguing that it is rooted in sexual shame. They discuss sexual repression, porn addiction, "normal" sexuality, impulse control, politically incorrect fantasies, and why our sexual fantasies often correlate with our politics. Content Notice. This episode contains: frank discussions of sensitive sexuality issues, a brief mention of a mass shooting, and brief descriptions of sadomasochistic sex acts.
June 28, 2021
The Sex Ed Spiral
How does making sex ed videos on YouTube land you in the center of the online culture wars? Pretty quickly, in fact. Laci is joined by YouTuber Arielle Scarcella for an open ended discussion of her controversial perspectives and work. They discuss critiques of "woke" activism, abusive tactics in leftist circles, lesbian identity, impossible discussions about sex and gender, Arielle's "conservative" re-brand, being a lesbian on OnlyFans, and collective self-censorship. Content Warning: This episode contains frank discussions of sensitive sexuality issues as well as graphic descriptions of sex acts.
April 30, 2021
Four Secret Truths About Relationships
How can we cultivate happy relationships that last years, or even decades? While the modern explosion of self-help books tell us how to get love, ancient Buddhist texts offer a different approach: how to give it. In this episode, Laci and Susan explore The Four Noble Truths of Love. They discuss how our modern approaches to relationships can set us up for failure, expectations vs. reality, how to create the right "container" for relationship success, the pitfalls of passion, intimacy vs. love, and a well-traveled path to lifelong partnership.
February 14, 2021
Is YouTube Radicalizing People?
A storm of media coverage regularly accuses YouTube of radicalizing the masses with their recommendation algorithm. The only problem? A closer look at the research paints a very different picture. In this episode, Laci and Anna explore the YouTube politics scene and how the 2020 algorithm works. They discuss left and right content "bubbles", mainstream media vs. YouTube, the plight of independent content creators, and why the rabbit hole theory has enduring psychological appeal.
December 16, 2020
Why Are We So Polarized?
Americans are more polarized than we have been since the civil war. Data shows growing numbers of people feel political violence is justified. How did we get into this hellscape? And how do we get out of it? Featuring Lee Drutman of Breaking the Two-Party Doom Loop. (This episode is made for YouTube:
November 11, 2020
Your Attention, Please!
The internet is flooded with attempts to grab our attention.. So what gets us to click? Laci and Ben Parr discuss the booming attention economy and how it is changing the world, from parasocial relationships to politics. They discuss 7 common tactics used to capture (and sell) our attention.
October 09, 2020
The Stoic Challenge
How do you handle the setbacks in your life? Laci and Bill discuss practical Stoic techniques to find greater resilience and strength in the face of life's challenges.  Conversation topics include our need for social approval, righteous anger and victimhood, dealing with failure and rejection, declining civility, an unusual approach to grief, the trappings of consumerism, and what it truly means to embrace our circumstances.
September 04, 2020
Mask Hysteria
Perhaps the biggest threat in a pandemic is not the virus itself...but how we react to it. Last year, Dr. Steven Taylor predicted what would happen in the next pandemic with astonishing accuracy. In this episode, Laci and Steve discuss media distortion, the politicization of masks, backlash to mandates, American individualism vs. collectivism, the upcoming anti-vax crisis, personality types prone to mask hesitance, depressive realism vs. optimism bias, and what the past predicts about the future.
July 22, 2020
Anonymity vs. Cancel Culture
Anonymity is blamed for some of the worst behavior online. Should everyone be forced to reveal their true identity instead? In this episode, Laci contends that anonymity isn't the boogeyman it's made out to be. She is joined by Scott Alexander from Slate Star Codex to discuss his crisis over a forced doxxing at the New York Times, the double edged sword of cancel culture, China's censorship problem, internet trolls, group think, and why we struggle with self control online.
July 08, 2020
The End of Policing?
Is policing as we know it on the way out? In this episode, we discuss the militarization of the police, whether we should defund police departments, and what it will take to move forward in the wake of so much state-sanctioned violence and trauma. Featuring Mecole Jordan-McBride of NYU'S Policing Project at
June 19, 2020
It's A Conspiracy!
Are we living through the golden age of conspiracy theories? Laci Green takes a closer look at the psychology of conspiracy theories, the internet rabbit hole, and what we can learn from real conspiracies. Featuring Dr. Joe Uscinski.
May 22, 2020
Till Death Do Us Part
Laci Green explores the myriad ways that existential anxiety may affect human behavior. She is joined by Dr. Jeff Greenberg, one of the original researchers behind Terror Management Theory. She explores what Terror Management Theory is, and how our belief systems and self esteem help us to live forever.
May 08, 2020
Disagreeing Better
As mass media infiltrates our lives, our communication skills are waning. Laci is joined by Peter Boghossian to discuss methods to navigate political disagreements. Topics include: The psychological functions of virtue signaling, belief hygiene, if and when to draw the line with friends, how to change minds, justice vs. kindness, silencing dissidents, managing anger, and letting others be wrong.
January 22, 2020
Confessions of an Ex-Mormon
Faith crises have gone viral. Laci explores the stories of three ex-mormons who learn more than they bargained for, and the creative ways they communicate their differences with devout loved ones. She is joined by John Dehlin of the Mormon Stories Podcast. To learn more about Indirect Message, visit!  
January 08, 2020
(Cam) Girl Power!
What happens when girl power unites with the household webcam? Meet the modern cam girl. Chapter 1: Girl Power Girl power grew out the 90s punk rock scene and eventually dominated pop music. Nearly 30 years later, it continues to make an impact in unexpected ways. Chapter 2: The Sex Work Revolution A heated feminist debate about sex work churns online. Laci explores how the blurred lines between private and public creates new relationships and career options. Chapter 3: The Secret Life of Cam Girls Laci chats with Ginger Banks, a well known cam girl. They discuss her foray into camming, the problems facing performers, and what it all means for girls and the internet. For more about Indirect Message or to contact Laci, visit!
December 18, 2019
Facing The Camera
Laci is joined by YouTube's TomSka, creator of asdfmovie, to discuss the joys and horrors of baring your soul to millions of strangers online. Among other topics, they discuss ego and social justice activism, asking fans for money, the ethics of oversharing, and what it means to turn the camera on yourself.
December 04, 2019
Rumor Has It
Juicy gossip has entertained us for centuries. But what happens when the rumor mill comes for you? Chapter 1: The Rumor Mill Laci traces the origins of the gossip industry and shares some of her own experiences with rumors online. Chapter 2: #SaveMarinaJoyce Mass hysteria broke out online after Marina Joyce posted a video with an unblinking stare and bruises on her arms. Laci recounts the bizarre story. Chapter 3: The Info Warp Laci is joined by Dr. Taylor Carlson to discuss the psychology of rumor and misinformation. They explore how a story gets changed from person to person. They discuss why we spread rumors, what type of person is prone to gossip, and why we tend to gravitate toward negative information. For more information about Indirect Message, visit Keep up with me on Twitter!
November 20, 2019
Did Apps Kill Dating?
Online dating is here to stay. Dating should be easier than ever. And feels more exhausting. Where did we go wrong? Chapter 1: Woman Seeks Man Laci shares her crazy first experience with online dating. She pays tribute to the old school dating services that paved the way to the future. Chapter 2: Failure to Launch I got 99 problems...and most of them are dating apps. Laci explores the pain and pleasure points of today's dating tools. Chapter 3: The Matchmakers Laci interviews Michael Bruch, creator of the independent dating app Sweet Pea. They discuss gender differences in online dating, how to find dating success, and some of the more insidious aspects of the dating biz. To learn more about Indirect Message, visit:
October 30, 2019
Dangerous Speech
Online censorship is increasing around the world. What kind of speech (if any) goes too far? Chapter 1: Your Video Has Been Removed Laci recounts the escalating censorship of her sex education YouTube channel. Chapter 2: The Biggest Influencer F**king algorithms. How do they work? The brutal reality of the codes that govern the internet. Chapter 3: The Great, Gray Area Laci discusses free speech online with Jillian York of the EFF. They discuss an array of topics: increasing censorship around the world, hate speech, harassment, the cases of Milo Yiannopoulos and Stephen Crowder, sex work, neo-nazi speech, Twitter’s not-so-free-speech policy, and how to save the internet. Find Jillian York online at: For transcripts and more about Indirect Message, visit: 
October 16, 2019
There's No "I" In Meme
Featuring Tay Zonday, creator of "Chocolate Rain"! Memes are the language of the internet. What can they teach us about society? And what happens when you accidentally become one? Chapter 1: What Do You Meme? Laci discusses the concept of a meme. Why do some memes spread while others die immediately? ​Chapter 2: The Very First Internet Meme Laci speculates on the first meme she encountered online and the curious virality of Godwin's Law. Chapter 3: Becoming A Meme Laci chats with Tay Zonday about his early viral hit, Chocolate Rain. They discuss why the song went viral, its message about race, and the existential crises of being a meme. For more information about this episode and a transcript visit:
October 02, 2019
The Death of Expertise
The post-truth era has arrived. How do we address mass misinformation and deception online? Chapter 1: The Death of Expertise Laci reflects on the promise of the internet to bridge the information gap...and the messy reality we got instead. Chapter 2: *Fake News Intensifies* Laci and Dr. Tom Nichols share their perspectives on why fake news is so pervasive. Should social media companies intervene? We discuss the anti-vax movement, the 24/7 news cycle, and activist websites that pose as news sources. Chapter 3: A Capitalist Education Tom lays out his case for the role of higher education in the fake news crisis. For more information about this episode and transcripts visit:
September 18, 2019
Internet Kids
Welcome to the Super Official First Episode of Indirect Message! Chapter 1: Internet Kids (03:42) Laci takes a trip down memory lane and discusses the early internet and digital identity. Chapter 2: Trouble on the Playground (08:38) Youtube drama, the psychology of public humiliation, and the pros and cons of cancel culture. Chapter 3: Age of Anxiety (23:57) Laci chats with her sister, a therapist, about the rise of social media related mental health problems and how to have a healthier relationship with the screen. For more information about this episode and transcripts visit:
September 03, 2019