Skip to main content
"I CAN change the title later, right?"

"I CAN change the title later, right?"

By John Holt

Quick, actionable tips to help business owners sell more stuff, earn more money, and make their life easier.

Hosted by copywriter, magician, comedian, father of two, and Tunnocks Teacake aficionado, John Holt.
Available on
Apple Podcasts Logo
Castbox Logo
Google Podcasts Logo
RadioPublic Logo
Spotify Logo
Currently playing episode

#36 - You can’t please everyone... or can you?

"I CAN change the title later, right?"Mar 08, 2021

00:00
04:13
Make money by giving your customers what they DON’T want
Sep 20, 202104:39
Show me your FLUFF!
Sep 16, 202102:11
Are you making your customers burns too many calories?
Sep 14, 202102:20
Want more customers and perfect clients replying to your emails? Do these TWO things
Sep 13, 202104:45
Is it possible to write a sales page WITHOUT agitating your customer's pain points?
Sep 10, 202103:51
#49 - How to reach 5X as many customers... with NO extra work!
Aug 27, 202105:29
#48 - A better way of handling objections

#48 - A better way of handling objections

"The better you are at handling objections, the more sales you'll make" - Gary Lineker.

Fine. He didn't say that. Doesn't mean it's not true though.

I've been thinking about objections recently and I've discovered a new - maybe even better - way of handling them.

Use this and not only will your customers no longer care about the objection... they'll be even more eager to get their hands on your offer.

Maybe. I don't know. Worth a shot though, right?

Also in this episode, you'll discover:

- The FOUR different colours of post it notes I possess and where I keep the on my desk for easy retrieval. (SPOILER: It's on the left-hand side, so I don't knock over my coffee onto them, but at least try and act surprised when I reveal it)

- How I chose to use the word "slapdash" (was I referring to my approach to bullet points? No... because I use "lackadaisical" for that!)

- The ONE thing (and there IS only one) that I ALWAYS do after AFTER launch, regardless of whether it's for me or a client. (If you think you're in for a big surprise... you're wrong. It's so bloody obvious I'm beginning to wonder why I'm even typing these words)

- The moment when I manage to both NOT promote my course, but I  struggle to remember what it actually is (Can one man really be so incompetent? Watch this video and blast away those doubts!)

- Possibly the weirdest hand gesture you've ever seen, as I say the words "mini-tada" (with no irony whatsoever)

- The one simple question you can ask that will double, triple, quadruple, or even septanonatasticzooogle your sales... and how to do it the right - no sleazeball - way (like without making up words like "septanonatasticzooogle")

- The one thing I'd change next time I launch... aside from my underwear

- Y ewe don't kneed 2 B an grate writerer two bee a gud cop-ee-right-errrr.

... and VERY little else!

- - -

Oh, and while you're here...

Don't forget to grab your freebies at https://insertgaghere.com/email. You'll get access to my GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!! - FREE email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE.

Check out the other episodes for even more strategies you can use to make more money here:

Podcast: https://insertgaghere.com/podcast

Videos:https://insertgaghere.com/video

Aug 16, 202107:49
#47 - How to write a "Stoic" sales page

#47 - How to write a "Stoic" sales page

If you've ever been daunted by the idea of creating a sales page, this episode's for you.

You'll discover:

- The 2,000-year approach to writing sales pages that eliminates every single ounce of stress and struggle

- Why you shouldn't be focusing on SPEED (and not just because it's a bloody awful movie) ... and what you should be focusing on instead (HINT: it doesn't rhyme with Chrysanthemum!)

- The name of ONE of the philosophy books I own (if you've been wondering what's on my bookshelf... you might want to get out more)

- Why you should be ______ on _____ over _____ (and why too many _____ in a _____ of ______ is a _____ pain in the _______)

- My "never before seen" reading from a book technique that will leave you stunned (will I fluff my lines, throw the book out of the window and kill my dog in a blind rage? There's only one way to find out!!!!!)

- How much I sweat in a baking hot room when I forget to open the window before I hit record (SPOILER: My weight loss DVD, 'Toasty With Holty' will be out, via my OnlyFans site, in December)

- The only metric that counts when it comes to marketing (if you think it's how Panini stickers you collected as a child... you're wrong!)

... and VERY little else!

- - -

Oh, and while you're here...

Don't forget to grab your freebies at https://insertgaghere.com/email. You'll get access to my GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!! - FREE email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE.

Check out the other episodes for even more strategies you can use to make more money here:

Podcast: https://insertgaghere.com/podcast

Videos:https://insertgaghere.com/video

Aug 12, 202104:11
#46 - The one copywriting tip to rule them all
Aug 09, 202103:46
#45 - Sales pages - the easy-peasy way
Aug 07, 202106:18
#44 - Three fast fixes for failing landing pages
Apr 08, 202107:10
#43 - Coffee... or drugs?

#43 - Coffee... or drugs?


This morning, I woke up with a problem I needed solving, and solve it I did...

... but not in a very helpful way.

Here's the mistake I made, and how it can help you write better copy...

- - -

Available as a podcast here:
insertgaghere.com/podcast

And in video form here:
insertgaghere.com/video

Oh, and while you're here...

Don't forget to visit

insertgaghere.com/email to get access to the GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!! so you can claim your FREE email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE.
Mar 31, 202104:58
#42 - How to guarantee you never write a clickbait subject line again!

#42 - How to guarantee you never write a clickbait subject line again!

(and another tip to make writing emails easier)

- - -

Available as a podcast here:
insertgaghere.com/podcast

And in video form here:
insertgaghere.com/video

Oh, and while you're here...

Don't forget to visit

insertgaghere.com/email to get access to the GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!! so you can claim your FREE email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE.
Mar 23, 202107:36
#41 - Do I need a website for my service based business?
Mar 20, 202110:58
#40 - 1st or 3rd person? What's best for YOUR website?

#40 - 1st or 3rd person? What's best for YOUR website?

Mar 17, 202108:43
#39 - Why you need to become an influencer (and how to start)

#39 - Why you need to become an influencer (and how to start)

Yes, you heard. I want you to become an influencer.

Before you hire a Lambo, rent a plush pad and withdraw your life savings in $1 bills... hear me out.

Also in today's episode, you'll discover:

- How pathetic I am at demonstrating gang signs

- A simple - but highly effective - habit you need to get into the habit of habituating... habitually.

- Why I USED TO BE terrible at marketing

- Why I STILL AM terrible at marketing

- My biblical - and masterful - reframing of the term "influencer" (you'll FINALLY be able to say "influencer" - without retching when you hear my consummate take on it)

- How to sell yourself... without selling your soul to the devil (or paying a sleazeball $1,997 to learn a bunch of "never-fire" close techniques)

- The SHOCKING news about why being a decent human is a good plan of action (you better be sitting down when you hear this!!!)

- How my daughter's endless YouTube watching has FINALLY paid off!!!

- What I would do if I wanted to get more shares and subscribers (you'll kick me - probably in the knackers - when you realise how easy it is!!!)

- My brand-new, "never seen before" call to action (can you believe it's taken F***ING 39 episodes? Will the wait be worth it??? I think we both know the answer to that!!!)

- One simple action you can take RIGHT NOW (after watching this video... I NEED DA VIEWS!!!!) to win the eternal gratitude and adoration of your friends.

Enjoy!

Also available as a podcast! Click here:

https://insertgaghere.com/podcast

or search for "I CAN change the title later, right?" in your podcast player of choice (it's Overcast, isn't it?)

Oh, and while you're here...

Don't forget to visit

https://insertgaghere.com/email to get access to the GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!! so you can claim your FREE email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE.

Mar 15, 202108:41
#38 - Never use THIS as your headline

#38 - Never use THIS as your headline

Headlines are tricky beasts to get right.

Even the best copywriters on the planet can struggle for weeks and months before getting the perfect headline.

And while I can't make coming up with a perfect headline any easier, I can do the next best thing and show you what NOT to use as a headline.

Also in this video, you'll:

- Be shaken to your core, as I (meekly) suggest that you're a selfish _______ (careful, the answer is NSFP - Not Safe For Pensioners)

- Discover the most important realisation business owners need to make... but only if they want to sell more stuff and swim in money like Scrooge McDuck!

- Learn the shocking truth about how your customers REALLY feel about your (yes, YOUR) widget (if you were hoping for "enamoured" and "slightly aroused", you're in for a shock!)

- Marvel at how I subtly plug my coffee critiques in a manner that would make evil Hypnogod Derren Brown cry.

- Hear about the biggest problem I saw with sales pages this week (I’ll give you a clue... look at the bloody title of this episode!)

- Find out what you should NEVER put at the top of your sales page... unless your name is Kim Kardashian (it's not, is it? Good. Then don't do THIS!!!!)

- Bear witness, as I create possibly the greatest movie title the SyFy channel has NEVER  produced!

- Steal my “swipeable” free headlines I give (only bold lawn technicians need apply)

- Learn how much the success of a sales page is  down to the headline (SPOILER Alert - it's 80%, but don't let that stop you from clicking ‘play’ and hearing me say it again!!!)

- Discover the super-simple question you can ask to help you create a killer headline (wait... a serious bullet? WTF?!)

- Observe and listen, as I unveil the REAL purpose of a headline (if you thought it was to remove stubborn stains from your undercrackers... you're WRONG!!!!)

- Wonder if I’ve had a stroke as I pause a bit too long, pondering whether to use a risky adjective before the word "Goldfish", before finally deciding, "Best not!"

- Be astonished at how, 37 episodes in, I STILL haven't come up with a half-decent ‘sign off’ yet (was this man REALLY a professional radio presenter???)

... and some other slightly less memorable bits.

Enjoy!

Oh, and while you're here...

Don't forget to visit https://insertgaghere.com/email to get access to the GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!! so you can claim your FREE email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE.

Mar 11, 202104:21
#37 - How to create a funnel for ANY business

#37 - How to create a funnel for ANY business

Funnels work. They're a great way to solve valuable problems and build trust with your customers... WHILE GETTING PAID!

Trouble is, it seems as though some businesses don't lend themselves well to the "funnel" model, but the truth is, you can create an ascending ladder full of offers for pretty much ANY business...

... as long as you take a different approach.

Here's what I mean...

Also in this episode I:

- Mispronounce the word "Russell" - DELIBERATELY - a rather poor attempt at raising a smile.

- Brilliantly agitate the "funnels don't work for my business" problem, so it feels more pressing and makes you feel WORSE about your life!

- Tease you with a possible solution to this problem before I wildly veer off and talk about myself for a bit (you'll wonder how one man can be so damn selfish!)

- Blatantly admit that I used to get paid by lying to people for a living (you might wanna call the cops after hearing this)

- Answer the "how many birthdays does the average person have a year?" question once and for all (the answer may shock you... if you're an imbecile!!!!)

- Say the words "THERE IS NO FREE OFFER!" - Egad! Did I really say this? Yes (let's hope the Sunday papers don't get hold of THAT quote!)

- Finally admit the truth about my four-year struggle... (you'll need tissues for this... but only if you've spilled something)

- Crowbar in a desperate plug for you to sign up to my "GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!!" (think you know what "no lube" means? Think again...)

- Reveal the price of how much a magician REALLY costs for two hours of magic (I'll give you a clue... it's one of these: £150, £400, or a Ginsters pasty and a foot massage)

- Berate you (mildly) for being so selfish

- Say the words "THERE IS NO FREE OFFER!" - again! (Am I mad?)

- IMPLORE you to fantasise about brides... like you are doing right now!

- Generously give wedding magicians a free idea for a killer lead magnet (did I say it was free? I did? Oh... shit, I wasted these brackets...)

- Selflessly give magicians 5 (yes, facking FIVE) benefits they can use to get more bookings (I've charged over £1.25 for these in the past!!!!)

- Show you the easiest way I know to GUARANTEE you're always offering value to the client - keep this handy trick in mind and you'll never go wrong.

.... and some (I think) more.

Oh, and while you're here...  

Don't forget to visit https://insertgaghere.com/email​ to get access to the GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!! so you can claim your FREE email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE.

Mar 10, 202106:18
#36 - You can’t please everyone... or can you?
Mar 08, 202104:13
#35 - In defence of "features"
Mar 04, 202106:43
#34 - Why I want to punch you in the face
Mar 01, 202107:32
#33 - How to write a welcome sequence... without writing a welcome sequence

#33 - How to write a welcome sequence... without writing a welcome sequence

(And without having to pay a copywriter either!)  

A short sequence of automated emails is a great way to build trust with people who’ve made the wise choice to download your freebie.  

Trouble is... the idea of sitting down, facing the blank page, and writing 5-7 emails isn’t most people’s idea of fun.  

If only you could write a welcome sequence...   

... without actually having to write a welcome sequence.  

Good news...  

----

Oh, and while you're here...  

Don't forget to visit https://insertgaghere.com/email to get access to the GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!! so you can claim your FREE email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE.

Feb 21, 202110:38
#32 - I got a negative comment (and a free offer for you)
Feb 14, 202114:55
#31 – “I wouldn’t start from here if I were you…”
Feb 09, 202110:50
#30 - The simple thing most people forget when creating a crushing offer
Feb 04, 202109:04
#29 - How to increase your email open rates by 10-15% in less than 7 minutes
Jan 30, 202111:27
#28 - Ben Franklin's marketing secrets
Jan 27, 202112:29
#27 - Is your content good enough? Here’s how to tell…

#27 - Is your content good enough? Here’s how to tell…

After the last episode, I received a question:

‘How do I know if my content is good enough to post?’

Here’s my answer...

Got a question you want me to answer? Send it to insertgaghereplease@gmail.com

Want a whole bunch of business-boosting freebies to make your life easier?

Visit https://insertgaghere.com/email to get your hands a big ol' collection of email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE!

-----

Why not check out the other episodes while you're here?

("Because I'm busy and there are better things to look at on the internet!")

NOW ON APPLE PODCASTS!

Podcast: https://insertgaghere.com/podcast

YouTube: https://insertgaghere.com/video

Jan 24, 202106:15
#26 - How Tiger Woods can help you create an INFINITE amount of content

#26 - How Tiger Woods can help you create an INFINITE amount of content

(I was going to add some more words in here, but the title pretty much covers it to be honest)

Also - here's a link to the YouTube video I mention for the Trello hack:

https://youtu.be/SVL2aG9zdmw

Want a whole bunch of business-boosting freebies to make your life easier?

Visit https://insertgaghere.com/email to get your hands a big ol' collection of email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE!

-----

Why not check out the other episodes while you're here?

("Because I'm busy and there are better things to look at on the internet!")

NOW ON APPLE PODCASTS!

Podcast: https://insertgaghere.com/podcast

YouTube: https://insertgaghere.com/video

Jan 23, 202113:19
#25 - 3 simple tips for writing better, cheaper, and less banworthy Facebook Ads
Jan 21, 202112:02
#24 - If Buddha, Seth Godin, and Gary Vee teamed up to write a sales page, THIS is what it would look like
Jan 19, 202109:55
#23 - The secret to writing to your mum and telling her that you’ve failed your exams, are addicted to heroin, up the duff, and need £1,000.
Jan 15, 202111:48
#22 - We need to talk about flip-flopping
Jan 14, 202105:09
#21 - Why you don’t need an ideal client

#21 - Why you don’t need an ideal client

Marketing type folk often put a lot of pressure on business owners to create an "ideal" customer.

The truth is though, you don’t actually need to create a perfect customer avatar to get lots of awesome clients and buyers.

Not only that, most of the time, you don't have to create perfect ANYTHING in marketing.

Let me explain why...
Jan 12, 202112:14
#20 - Before you set your big, fat, hairy, audacious 2021 goals...
Jan 05, 202107:56
#19 - I wish I'd told you this yesterday...
Dec 30, 202005:33
#18 - 4 Rules for better business writing
Dec 29, 202010:31
#17 - Everything I know about cold pitching
Dec 22, 202020:38
#16 - The pricing "hack" that puts an end to haggling
Dec 18, 202006:12
# 15 - Make 'em work for it
Dec 16, 202008:59
# 14 - Take it easy, will ya?
Dec 15, 202008:01
#13 - Stressing about your copy? Don’t. Here's why…
Dec 14, 202005:12
#12 - Sales pages: do you really need one?
Dec 12, 202006:24
#11 - A simple way to get more subscribers that is 100% spam-free
Dec 10, 202007:34
#10 - How to start selling to your list TODAY - even if you haven't emailed them in years!
Dec 09, 202006:39
#9 - My #1 tip for upping your email marketing game
Dec 08, 202005:47
#8 - FINALLY - an answer to the ‘short or long copy?’ question...
Dec 06, 202006:60
#7 - The two simple words that'll help you sell more stuff
Dec 04, 202008:06
#6 - Ask this question before you write ANY piece of sales copy
Dec 03, 202009:17
#5 The case for becoming a box ticker
Dec 02, 202012:33