Inside-Out: Interpersonal Transformation at Work
By Tommy Acierno
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Inside-Out: Interpersonal Transformation at WorkMay 08, 2023
Stop Trying to Find Your Purpose
I’ve spent most of my life trying to answer the question: what’s my purpose? Especially as it relates to my career.
When I thought I found it, I was over the moon!
And when the nagging thoughts returned, saying “Hmmm. I don’t really know what my purpose is any more.” I thought I was back at square one.
Nearly all of my work is about operating from the inside out. But to finally answer this question: what’s my purpose, your purpose, everything’s purpose? I went the other way around and finally found the answer by looking from the outside in.
The Good, The Bad, and The Awareness
“Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.” ~ Stephen Covey
Conscious change doesn’t happen without self awareness.
If you’re not fully aware of how your thoughts, opinions, judgements, and limiting beliefs are impacting your results, then you’ll keep getting (largely) the same results.
Awareness is an increasingly popular term, and it goes hand in hand with being more “present” or “mindful.” But when you choose the path of increased self awareness, you start to see it all…what works for you, what doesn’t work for you, what’s creating your success, and what’s blocking your success.
It’s a lot to take in. But the question is…is it worth it?
In this podcast, let's explore advantages and disadvantages to living a life with more conscious awareness, and my humble answer to the question above.
Enjoy!
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Are you more aware of your desire to have more productive, enjoyable, and positive interpersonal relationships at work? I have a free webinar with three ways to improve these relationships. Go to interpersonaltransformation.com and sign up to watch my free 20-minute webinar…
The Secret to Personal (and Professional) Development
If you want to accelerate your personal (and professional) development, become part of a community that you support, believe in, and love.
People are like neurons in a great global brain. When they’re all “firing and wiring together,” as Dr. Joe Dispenza likes to say, we bring innovative, inspiring, and brilliant ideas to life. And in turn, you grow personally by leaps and bounds by simply being surrounded by talented people.
In this article, you learn how powerful connection is to supporting your personal and professional development goals.
Enjoy!
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Is that deep nourishing connection with your manager or other key relationships at work missing for you or someone you know? I have a free webinar that may help. Go to interpersonaltransformation.com to watch now...
Do you have "Goal Grief"?
You have goals.
You have tasks, things to do, people to see, and places to go.
Yet, despite all of our accomplishments, why are so many of us dissatisfied with ourselves? Often, to combat our dissatisfaction, we push ourselves to accomplish more, do more, and be MORE!
But it’s not sustainable. And it may be tough to break this cycle until we address, what I call, “Goal Grief.”
If you want to achieve the kind of success that leads to renewable fulfillment, this podcast has a simple yet important solution.
Enjoy!
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Has it been tough creating, accomplishing, or celebrating goals with your manager or other key relationships at work? I have a free webinar that may help. Go to interpersonaltransformation.com to watch now...
When You Speak, Who’s Talking?
It’s a miracle that anyone understands what anyone else is saying.
When you speak, words come through filters generated from a lifetime of experiences.
It’s not always you who speaks, but it’s your parents, teachers, partners, co-workers, bosses, managers, leaders, news anchors, authors, podcasters, YouTubers, and so on…
Now, there's nothing wrong with this normal and natural process. However, there is another level of communication that will bring you more peace, and create deeper, more meaningful relationships. I call this conscious communication. The first step to conscious communication is being aware that these filters exist. And you need to know how they affect not only what you say but also what you hear.
In this episode, we explore how these filters are limiting your communication, and then I offer three simple steps to bring more peaceful conscious communication into your life.
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Would you like three more ways to build stronger relationships with your boss or other key relationships at work? I have a free webinar for that. Go to interpersonaltransformation.com to watch now...
The Key Ingredient to a Resilient Team
“When the trust is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.”
~ Stephen Covey
As Stephen Covey shares in his quote above, trust is a key ingredient to success in communication. But I suggest that trust not only boosts communication but also resiliency.
Think of it this way, would you rather face economic or competitive challenges with a group of people that you trust or a group of people that you’re wary of? Having an organization filled with trusting human beings acts like an immune system. The company weathers many more influencers or, so called, obstacles and challenges.
So how do you build trust?
As I emphasize in all of my work, start from the inside out! In this episode we explore easy ways to boost your self-trust and cultivate a culture of trust.
Enjoy the show!
Would you like three more ways to build stronger relationships with your boss or other key relationships at work? I have a free webinar for that. Go to interpersonaltransformation.com to watch now...
The power of collaboration for those who tend to create alone
If you're like me, you have a tendency to express yourself creatively...alone. But no one is an island. Not only is collaboration inevitable in our interpersonal relationships, it's the only way to create something greater than any individual is capable of creating.
In this episode, I briefly share my experiences with creating in isolation, how I discovered the power of aligned collaboration, and ultimately I define the key ingredients that you need to create productive partnerships with your colleagues.
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Having some concerns performing harmoniously with your boss or other key relationships at work? Head over to interpersonaltransformation.com and sign up for your free gift: a 20-minute webinar titled "3 Ways To Quickly Stop Your Flight Or Fight Response To Difficult Relationships At Work And Feel More Calm, Cool, And Content."
Enjoy the show, my friend.
3 ways to express what you really want to say
For some people, it's tough to say what they really want to say. Especially to their boss, other co-workers, or even in personal relationships.
At the same time, we've all had experiences with people who speak their truth. They speak with authority, clarity, confidence, but also with humility, grace, and flexibility.
You have this ability too! You have a unique, one-of-a-kind voice and message that needs to be shared. Because there's only one YOU, you're the ONLY ONE who can share what's important for you to share. And in doing so, you will turbo-charge your relationships and forge strong bonds of partnership, collaboration, and creation.
Listen to these three simple ways to practice expressing your true voice – what you really want to say – and enjoy putting these practices into your daily life.
And if you want even more assistance on strengthening your partnership with your boss (or other key contributors at work), head over to interpersonaltransformation.com and sign up for your free gift: a webinar titled 3 WAYS TO QUICKLY STOP YOUR FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TO DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIPS AT WORK AND FEEL MORE CALM, COOL, AND CONTENT.
Enjoy the show, my friend.
I'm Tommy. It's nice to meet you. Here's a bit about me...
Before we dive deeper into OUR relationship as a podcaster and listener, it's time we learn more about each other.
I'll start...
In this very personal, intimate, and different episode, I dive into my history and share how I got to where I am today.
Now, I do NOT share this information just for me. I do it to strengthen our connection and, as I explain in the episode, to create an opportunity to learn more about yourself.
If, after listening to this episode, you feel inspired to share your story with me, I'd love to hear from you. My direct email is tommy@tommyacierno.com. Don't hesitate to reach out.
It's a pleasure to meet you and share my story with you.
Why proving your value is actually blocking your success...
I had a "hit-me-over-the-head" insight that completely changed my life. It created a sense of liberation and freedom.
The insight? I don't have to prove anything to anyone at anytime about anything.
I realized that some of my life's biggest decisions were secretly driven by a deep and buried belief that "I'm not valuable enough." So I set out to prove it wrong! I thought things like, "I'll create a business and prove that I can create valuable services that people would pay money for."
It actually doesn't sound all that bad. Heck, some amazing accomplishments in human history were also achieve to prove that it could be done!
But there was a catch to my way of thinking...if anything indicated that I was not creating value (perhaps a slow down in business) it created a nearly crippling doubt. After exploring this doubt and identifying its source, the liberation began.
I don't have to STOP doing anything I've been doing. I now have the freedom to decide a NEW motivator. And what happened when I did? The flood gates opened: more client calls than I can serve, new opportunities emerged, doubt faded into an imperceptible murmur.
What does this have to do with our interpersonal relationships?
EVERYTHING!
How many of us engage in relationships with the motivation to prove something. To prove that we are valuable in their eyes. To prove that we're smart in their eyes. To prove their words wrong. And this energy, while motivating, is completely stunting and directly blocking the energy of freedom, liberation, and joy.
Listen to these deeply personal and powerful episode as we translate this wisdom into real and practical approaches that YOU can take, today, to release yourself from the burden of proof, and open the doors to more liberation, freedom, peace, calm, collaboration, partnership, and joy.
If you like this episode, please subscribe and share with your friends.
If you're excited to learn more ways to transform your interpersonal relationships with an Inside-Out approach, go to https://www.interpersonaltransformation.com/
And if you want to reach out to me, personally, build our relationship, and experience what it's like to truly partner together, click on this link to find a time for us to chat totally for free. https://calendly.com/private-coaching-session-tommy-acierno/free-inside-out-call
People are remembered by their powerful and inspiring relationships
I recently attended the funeral for a family member. During the eulogies and remembrances, what did they talk about? His financial success, his assets, his doubts, his thoughts? No...it was his IMPACT on his most precious relationships with friends, family, and colleagues.
You, too, will be remembered by your most powerful and inspiring relationships. But this doesn't end with just a handful of people in your life. It actually all starts, from the Inside Out with THE most important relationship you'll have for your entire life: your relationship with yourself!
In this episode, I talk about the balance between receiving and giving in your relationships (internally and externally) in a way that is fulfilling and long-lasting. I also talk about who you really are and what it actually means to have a relationship with yourself.
I end with a powerful exercise that invites you to think about what others would say about you during your funeral and how powerful & inspiring your relationships have been.
If you enjoy this episode, please be sure to subscribe and share with others. Even sharing with one friend can make such a huge difference (in addition to knowing that I'd give you the biggest virtual high-five ever!)
Love, Light, and Warm Wishes to you
P.S. If you want more support applying my teaching into your life, be sure to visit https://www.interpersonaltransformation.com/ and sign up to watch my free 20-minute webinar to learn the three keys to start transforming your professional interpersonal relationships right now.
P.S.S. And if you're REALLY ready to do the work it takes to transform your relationships from the Inside Out (trust me, it is NOT for everyone) and you're ready to have one action step that's custom tailored to you, click on this link to schedule a free 1:1 conversation with me personally https://www.interpersonaltransformation.com/apply . I only offer a FEW of these slots and they tend to fill up quickly.
[Interview with Ana Melikian] How to align your Mindset, Strategy, and Implementation to love your relationships (and life) now!
I have a special treat for you. I invited the brilliant host of MINDSET ZONE podcast, Ana Melikian, to chat about Mindset, Strategy, and Implementation. Not only is Ana a gifted coach and accomplished scholar, she's also pioneering success for new coaches as the Director of Education for Book Yourself Solid®.
First, we explore about how our mindsets influence our relationships, career, and success (which is why I knew she'd be a perfect fit for my show). However, that's just ONE piece of the puzzle. To create real, sustainable, and lasting change, it's up to us to take action with an aligned strategy and an implementation plan that works for us.
Going deeper, we uncover WHY... what motivates her success as well as her clients? Born from a lyric in a famous portuguese song, Life is two days, and the first we spend waking up, we dive deep into what it means to wake up (and how we have multiple "wake ups" in our life) and then decide what to do about it. Doors close; windows open, and Ana is a true master of waking up and taking aligned action.
To learn more about Ana, please visit her website at https://anamelikian.com/, listen to her podcast at https://anamelikian.com/mindsetzone/ or on your favorite podcast platform. I also recommend subscribing to her podcast right away...but don't take my word for it...It was featured in The Huffington Post “15 Podcasts That Will Leave You Pondering Life's Big Questions” and it reached #1 in iTunes’ New & Noteworthy in Business, Management & Marketing, Health, Self-Help, Education, Training. Yeah...it's time to listen.
Please enjoy our conversation, subscribe if you haven't already, and we'd love to hear from you what you think about this powerful, inspiring, aligned, strategic, and heartfelt conversation.
The two steps I used to walk my own talk and go from frustrated to content
I help people transform their relationships by working from the inside out. It may seem unbelievable, and I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't seen my clients make the transformation. Now, I'm not immune to doing the simple yet not-so-easy work of working on myself from the inside out to transform my relationships.
Join me on this episode where I do the work -- walk my own talk -- from the inside out with one of my most important and critical relationships (my son and I).
See how I USE my emotions to finally hear the messages they're trying to send me, and how seeing my son as a REFLECTION of myself gave me understanding, compassion, contentment, engagement, and more enthusiasm that I really wanted.
The two steps that I talk about in this episode are expanded upon in my FREE 20-minute webinar at https://www.interpersonaltransformation.com/. Check it out. It's good stuff. AND the webinar includes the magical THIRD step it takes to transform your interpersonal relationships right away.
Have you stopped to think about your inspiring dreams lately?
We're going deep today! It's time to reconnect with that deep inner dream that you had as a child. Or maybe you ARE living your dream already and wondering, "What's next?"
What motivates us to HAVE supportive, powerful, collaborative, partnerships and relationships is, REALLY, a dream. There's a multi-sensory experience that YOU want to have and your DREAM will support your experience.
What you really want is your dream. Have you stopped to think about it lately? Use this episode, complete with an active exercise, to RECONNECT you with your dream if it's been a while...
And if you want to share your dream, leave a comment. If you want help CLARIFYING what your dream is, give me a call...
https://calendly.com/private-coaching-session-tommy-acierno/30-min-call
Want to have complete satisfaction in your professional relationships?
If you're not 100% satisfied in your professional work relationships, you have some work to do. In this lively podcast episode, I dive into ways for you to experience true satisfaction in your relationships. And it's not the way you might think. In fact, I start by exploring what TRUE satisfaction really MEANS. It does NOT mean the absence of stress, doubt, guilt, anger, or shame. It's about feeling those (and, in fact, ALL emotions) as one of many PRICELESS sources of information. Your relationships contain a treasure trove of information, wisdom, and clarity. IF you can start to see your relationships in this way, you will have virtually NO CHOICE but to experience true satisfaction. Because you come to realize the truth that ALL relationships have value. And with that value, you can make clear, conscious, aligned, and powerful decisions.
Tune in and enjoy!
P.S. And if you're ready to dive deeper and learn MORE ways to transform your most important relationships at work, check out https://www.interpersonaltransformation.com/ and click to watch my FREE 20-minute webinar on the 3 Ways to Quickly Stop Your “Fight or Flight!” Response to Difficult Relationships at Work and feel more Calm, Cool, and Content.
The Stories You Tell Yourself Actually Drive Your Satisfaction
In order to make sense of the world, you run all of your experiences through an intricate and complex filter of stories, judgments, and labels.
Have you ever felt dissatisfied with a critical professional relationship? I guarantee that it has more to do with the stories you told yourself about that relationship than the actual people involved.
What's cool is that we can use this very natural and efficient human ability (i.e. telling ourselves stories about the world) to turn the needle and create more satisfaction in your professional relationships. But is starts with the awareness and deeper truth that it's the stories in your mind that are driving much of your experience (satisfying OR dissatisfying).
Tune in and enjoy!
P.S. And if you're ready to dive deeper and learn MORE ways to transform your most important relationships at work, check out https://www.interpersonaltransformation.com/ and click to watch my FREE 20-minute webinar on the 3 Ways to Quickly Stop Your “Fight or Flight!” Response to Difficult Relationships at Work and feel more Calm, Cool, and Content.
Forgotten values are actually the source of difficult work relationships
Values are those things that "make us tick." They define so much of WHO we are. And unless we are AWARE of our values, regularly, we'll continue our habitual "fight or flight" responses to difficult relationships at work. Because at the CORE of that response, is where your forgotten values are either being dishonored or threatened.
But that's OK! Because now you now have the opportunity to understand our values, how others can help teach YOU what YOUR values really are, and then you can take control and decide how you want to better HONOR your most important values.
Tune in and enjoy! And if you're ready to dive deeper and learn MORE ways to transform your most important relationships at work, check out https://www.interpersonaltransformation.com/ and click to watch my FREE 20-minute webinar on the 3 Ways to Quickly Stop Your “Fight or Flight!” Response to Difficult Relationships at Work and feel more Calm, Cool, and Content.
The Signals You Broadcast Are Affecting Your Relationships
Have you ever been around someone who lifts you up just by being around them? What about someone who drags you down just as easily? Ever wonder what's at the source of that energy?
It's a signal...it's a broadcast of electromagnetic energy that we are ALL sending and receiving all the time. This energy is built on what we think and how we feel.
In this podcast, I share one of my latest discoveries to help you "broadcast" more happiness, peace, enthusiasm, and passion. Not only for YOU, which is SO important, but also to uplift and inspire others...ESPECIALLY those difficult people that you're stressing about at work.
Tune in and enjoy! And if you're ready to dive deeper and learn MORE ways to apply my Inside-Out Interpersonal Transformation approach to your most important relationships at work, check out https://www.interpersonaltransformation.com/ and click to watch my FREE 20-minute webinar on the 3 Ways to Quickly Stop Your “Fight or Flight!” Response to Difficult Relationships at Work and feel more Calm, Cool, and Content.
What's Behind a Fight or Flight Attitude?
When we "fight" or "flight" with our difficult & stressful relationships at work, it doesn't mean that we literally go running away through the hills and hide in a cave OR slap someone in the face with a leather glove and challenge them to a duel!
At the core of "flight" is avoidance, which shows up as canceling meetings, not replying to emails, or anything else where you're AVOIDING interacting with this difficult person.
At the core of FIGHT, is a very polarized view: right/wrong, good/bad. It's about protecting what's important to you.
Both of these methods WORK, but they are very costly in terms of your mental, emotional, and physical health.
So if you REALLY want to change from a "Fight or Flight" attitude, you need to become aware of what's going on INSIDE.
The two MAJOR contributors to a Fight or Flight attitude lies in, what I call, "Mirrors" and/or Values. We explore these two sources and WHAT TO DO ABOUT them in this short podcast.
Enjoy!
And if you want to learn MORE ways to transform a Fight or Flight response to difficult people at work, head on over to www.interpersonaltransformation.com and sign up to watch my FREE webinar on the 3 Ways to show up more Calm, Cool, Content and attract more SUCCESS.
Welcome!
Welcome to INSIDE-OUT: Interpersonal Transformation Podcast for corporate leaders who want to stop that “Fight or Flight” attitude to difficult people at work and want to attract more success!